Movie Review Cabin in the Woods (With guest Reviewer Faith Rogers)

Cabin in the Woods (2012) 

Directed by Drew Goddard 

Written by Joss Whedon, Drew Goddard 

Starring Chris Hemsworth, Kristen Connolly, Anna Hutchinson, Jesse Williams, Sigourney Weaver, Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford 

Release Date April 13th, 2012 

Published April 20th, 2012 

Sean: This week, in the very first installment of Faith Hates Critics we watched director Drew Goddard’s comic horror deconstruction “Cabin in the Woods,” one of my favorite movies of 2012 and one, Faith, I assumed you would love. As an admitted fan of horror movies you have likely seen the plot of ‘Cabin’ a few dozen times. Four college aged supermodels and their stoner buddy make their way to a secluded cabin, are warned away by a creepy gas station owner and proceed to die horribly accept for the virgin required for the sequel. It’s practically a song that gets covered and cracks the top 10 repeatedly.

“Cabin in the Woods” takes this plot for a spin and deconstructs it wonderfully by introducing a pair of controllers played by Bradley Whitford and Richard Jenkins who act as comic relief and as jaded, cynical, stand ins for the dozens of horror movie directors who’ve run through this same premise over and over for years. The humor of “Cabin in the Woods” is savagely meta-textual and unrelenting as one horror trope is trotted out, poked fun at and dispatched with enough surprise and gore to satisfy the horror audience, and people like myself who can’t stand the same-ness of most modern horror movies. For me, “Cabin in the Woods” is a refreshing, “Scream-esque” rebuke of the bad horror films that came before it.

Faith: I do love a horror movie they are possible my favorite genre of film.  However, I found “Cabin int the Woods” absolutely ridiculous.  It started off intriguing enough with four kids heading off into the woods, a great set up for your average gore-fest.  Throw in the “controllers” and that was an interesting enough twist.  But Sigourney Weaver where in the F*** did she come from.

My real disappointment comes from the cluster that is “Cabin” if you are going to have a scary movie with a plot then get to it at the beginning of the movie.  Don’t throw it in bits and pieces as the movie goes along and then hit you with what is really going on in the last 10 minutes of the film.  Otherwise, make is what it is frightening, bloody, mindless entertainment.

Sean: Admittedly, Sigourney Weaver was a bit random and unnecessary but she’s such a fun choice that I didn’t mind it. For me, by the end, as Dana, the ‘Virgin,’ and Marty, the stoner, were making their way toward Sigourney Weaver things had grown so outlandish and over the top that I didn’t mind the complete goofball choice to have the whole thing be predicated on monstrous Gods of the old Earth who will rise if they don’t get exactly the kind of sacrifice they desire. If there is puzzlement for me in “Cabin in the Woods” why do they have to build such an elaborate premise just to kill four college kids? Why not just kidnap them and put a bullet in them? That’s a big plot hole; one that’s briefly explained away by the controllers as an attempt to make the sacrifice more entertaining for some unknown audience, but I would have liked the movie more if they had further implied, via the Japan sub-plot, that many modern horror movies are actually real life sacrifices to these Gods and are made as movies as a way of covering up the murders and paying the bills for keeping the Gods fed. That might have made the movie even better for me, even as I love the movie as it is.

Faith: Sigourney Weaver just shows up out of nowhere and there is no explanation for her character.  Who is she?  Where did she come from?  Why show up in the last 10 minutes?  Oh right, so she could explain the plot and beg the virgin and stoner to die…no bueno!  For a horror movie just on its own it wasn’t very good.  There weren’t any memorable moments that made me jump or made my chest tight.  The blood bath at the end with the “gods” was just ridiculous but not in the least bit frightening.  If I am going to sit through two hours of any movie I want to be entertained and if it’s scary I want to be scared.  This movie just didn’t do any of that for me.  I have to ask though would you watch two hours of a movie about 4 kids getting kidnapped and having a bullet put in them?  That seems even less exciting than “Cabin” turned out to be.

Sean: Of course not, that movie likely would not last two hours. Your right about the final battle being ridiculous but, for me, that was part of the film’s charm. Once the movie lets loose with an ocean of blood and guts the movie completely spins out of control. The craziness just keeps ramping up from zombies to a mer-man to a murderous unicorn, it’s all so gloriously goofy. This is needed to get to the big reveal at the end of the hand of one of the Gods reaching out from beneath the surface of the Earth and crushing the cabin, thus beginning the implied end of all humanity. This is such an outlandish and unexpected ending that, for me, it seemed the only possible ending for a movie this out of control. I loved that CGI hand because it was bad CGI, it was played for laughs like the entire movie was played for laughs. After the film has exhausted all other ways out of this scenario, it turns to the kind of bad CGI that the SyFy channel has made famous to end it; hammering home the final cliché of the kind of horror movie ‘Cabin’ was made to destroy.

Faith: Maybe we have blurred the lines a little bit here.  When we sat down to watch a horror movie that’s what I thought we were watching.  Not a silly little movie that was less than scary and absurd.  Maybe my problem is not so much with the silliness of the movie and how over the top it was but with the marketing of the movie.  If you imply you are a horror movie then you need to scare me otherwise, you are not and you misrepresented the entire movie.  Maybe if I had gone into it with a clear perspective I wouldn’t have been so disappointed.  Let me know the movie is on par with “Army of Darkness” and I am glad to watch it that way.  Make me believe the movie is going to scare me then I am going to be disappointed when it turns out silly and awkward. Which I think are the two best words to sum up “Cabin in the Woods” silly and awkward.

Sean: That’s a fair point. The creators of “Cabin in the Woods” were quite cagey about the marketing of the film because they didn’t want the secret to get out. They allowed the film to be marketed as a horror movie so that no one would reveal the movie’s secrets. That likely led a lot of people, like you, to feel misled about the kind of movie they were seeing. I had read enough of the pre-release hype that I was a little more prepared for the kind of movie “Cabin in the Woods” turned out to be. I’m also a big fan of Joss Whedon who co-wrote the script and produced the film. His reputation was built on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and the deft deconstruction of both horror cliches and the cliches of modern teen culture and the teen soap opera genre. With Whedon involved I knew to expect far more than just a slasher movie. You make a very fair point however; as there is no question that many people were given the impression of a straight horror movie and wound up in an absurdist send-up of a straight horror movie.

Faith: I very much enjoyed “Buffy” and the fun behind that series.  However, regardless of who had a hand in “Cabin” I would never watch it again and I would never recommend it.  I don’t want to be sold a lie when I see a film trailer and as that is the case with “Cabin” I really can’t get behind it as a good or even average movie.

Sean: And so we begin with a respectful disagreement. I love “Cabin in the Woods” for what it is and you, quite fairly, dislike it for what it pretended to be. In the future, I will expect far more vitriol Faith but for a first outing, Thanks for not punching me.

Movie Review: Avengers Endgame

Avengers Endgame (2019) 

Directed by Anthony Russo, Joe Russo

Written by Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely 

Starring Robert Downey Jr, Karen Gillan, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Scarlett Johannson, Benedict Cumberbatch, Chris Pratt, Tom Holland, Chadwick Boseman, Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Dave Bautista

Release Date April 26th, 2019

Published April 24th, 2019 

We’ve reached the Endgame, if not the finale of the Marvel Universe, the definitive ending of a chapter at the very least. One of the great tricks pulled off in Avengers Endgame by directors Joe and Anthony Russo is how they have crafted a story that is both a definitive ending and a new beginning that doesn’t leave you exhausted and dreading the future. When it was first announced that Avengers Endgame would balloon to just over three hours in length, I was among those who worried that the MCU was overstaying its welcome. That feeling is completely allayed after Endgame. 

Avengers Endgame picks up the story with Earth’s greatest heroes still reeling from ‘The Snap,’ Thanos’s victory and the wholesale destruction of half the people in the universe. Those left behind, including Captain America (Chris Evans), Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Black Widow (Scarlett Johannson) and The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) along with disparate members of the MCU, the remaining heroes of Wakanda, the missing Clint Barton aka Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) are still spoiling for a fight. 

But first, Tony Stark needs to be retrieved from somewhere in deep space where food has run out and air will soon follow. Tony and Nebula (Karen Gillen) were the only survivors of The Snap in a group that included Spider-Man (Tom Holland), Dr Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch), and The Guardians of the Galaxy, Peter Quill (Chris Pratt), Mantis (Klemm Pomentieff), Groot (Vin Diesel) and Drax (Dave Bautista). Near death, Tony spots a light in the sky that proves to be a savior. I won’t spoil the fun, you can see for yourself who has the honor. 

Nebula knows where Thanos has gone and with her information the Avengers are able to locate him and make a play to regain the Infinity Gauntlet and those incredibly powerful stones. The Russo Brothers are smart to have this scene take place very early in the movie as it raises the stakes to infinity when you find out that the Gauntlet won’t be so easy to wield and that time may not be so easy to manipulate. 

I will stop there in my plot description as I don’t want to spoil anything for you. Just know that Avengers Endgame goes to some wonderfully unexpected places and gives you solid reasoning how we end up where we end up. This is quite a smart movie with many unexpected twists and turns. The writers, Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely wonderfully lay out the story with roadblocks and detours that force the story into unexpected yet logical places. 

The issues I had with Avengers Infinity War are pretty much made up for in Avengers Endgame. I was annoyed that Infinity War ended on a few highly predictable and cynical notes. There was no real tension or suspense in the ending of Infinity War as it was easy to predict that Endgame would simply undo all that happened in Infinity War rendering that film a 2 hour and 45 minute anti-climax. I also did not care for the careless fashion in which certain characters were treated by the screenplay that had little room for the many characters. 

Somehow, those problems are relatively minor in Endgame. The more than 3 hour runtime has left plenty of room for our main characters and the many side characters whose fates we’ve come to care about over 22 Marvel movies. The best compliment I can give to Avengers Endgame is that even at 3 hours long, the movie never drags, it never feels like 3 hours. I did not check my phone during the entire run of Avengers Endgame because I was engrossed by this movie. 

It is remarkable that the Russo Brothers have crafted a story that is satisfying as an end point for the story they’ve helped to tell over 22 movies and a beginning for new stories to be told. We have new Spider-Man, Black Panther and Captain Marvel adventures to look forward to. We have more Guardians of the Galaxy in our future with a whole new look and new Captain America adventures and that is not a spoiler, you will have to see Avengers Endgame to see how that is not a spoiler. 

The new Marvel Universe is perhaps even more exciting than what we have seen before. The stars that this franchise has booked are the best of the best and even the heroes who won’t be returning will have a lasting impact via the actions of Avengers Endgame. The trick of Avengers Endgame is intricate and well detailed and its based on a strong and brave approach to storytelling and a group of characters who are irresistibly charming and compelling. 

Movie Review: A Perfect Getaway

A Perfect Getaway (2009) 

Directed by David Twohy

Written by David Twohy 

Starring Milla Jovovich, Timothy Olyphant, Marley Shelton, Chris Hemsworth, Steve Zahn

Release Date August 7th, 2009

Published August 7th, 2009

Beware the movie trailer/commercial that tells you of a 'heart-stopping' twist. Right then and there the marketing has spoiled the movie. Now the experience of the movie is waiting for the twist to happen or, in the case of the new thriller A Perfect Getaway, guessing the twist well before it happens. A Perfect Getaway isn't a great movie to begin with. Having the ending spoiled is merely the moldy cherry on top of a melted sundae.

Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich star in A Perfect Getaway as Cliff and Cydney Anderson, newlyweds in Hawaii for their honeymoon. Having decided to hike to a secluded beach on a very remote part of Kauai they think they are in for some romantic alone time. Instead, they are quickly jolted out of their fantasies by two pairs of strangers. 

The first are a dangerous looking pair of hitchhikers, Kale and Cleo (Chris Hemsworth and Marley Shelton), who look fresh from a parole hearing. Then there are Nick and Gina (Timothy Olyphant and Kiele Sanchez). Nick is ex-special ops and unafraid of telling tales of murder and injury. Gina meanwhile, is a little too good with a knife and fearless. When Nick brings a dead goat back to the couple's shared campsite, Gina guts and cleans it, much to the disgust of both Cliff and Cydney.

Soon, news arrives that a murder has taken place. A newlywed couple has been murdered on the island that both of the newly arrived couples have just left and police suspect the killer are a man and a woman and that they may have jumped islands. Naturally, Cliff and Cydney come to suspect Nick and Gina are the killers. Ahh, but what of the Kale and Cleo, the nefarious looking couple?

Cliff is a screenwriter by trade and this leads to an inside baseball conversation between he and Nick that the movie thinks is exceptionally clever. Director David Twohey (Pitch Black, Chronicles of Riddick)  seems to think that by having his characters talk so openly about thriller clichés in mocking tones that that will excuse his movie from taking advantage of those clichés. The meta trick doesn't pay off, we can still see the wheels of the plot turning quite obviously.

Now, it's likely that I have seen too many movies and thus am more difficult to fool than those who don't see so many of the same movies over and over again. Indeed, I can see a less experienced audience taken in by A Perfect Getaway. Me, I wasn't fooled for a second. The clumsy plot fails to hide very particular details that are relatively easy to discern, especially if you aren't taken in by these characters and this dimwitted story. 

That said, A Perfect Getaway isn't without some charm. I did love the detailed stories that Nick tells about his many wild exploits. Timothy Olyphant oozes charismatic danger. He's just off kilter enough to keep you afraid of him but humorous and engaging enough to make you want to root for him, whether he's the killer or the one about to be killed. Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich on the other hand? Ugh. Trying to bust out of their acting molds, she as a badass action heroine, he as a goofball comic relief sidekick, the pair desperately overplay the yuppie-ness of their characters. That may or may not be by design but that doesn't make it any less irritating.

So, what of this 'pulse pounding' twist? The film does everything it can to cheat around uber-aware audience members like me, even throwing out knowing dialogue about red-herrings, or as Olyphant mistakenly calls them 'red snappers'. The cheats are bothersome and rather than forcing call backs to earlier in the movie, as I am sure they are supposed to, they cause one to reconsider the whole movie and realize how much of a cheat the whole thing really is.

A Perfect Getaway needed to settle one aspect of the essential nature of its story and it could have succeeded in a modest way. Instead, the film cheats and hopes you won't notice. I did notice, repeatedly, and that combined with the irksome performances by Jovovich and Zahn make A Perfect Getaway a chore to endure.

Movie Review Men in Black International

Men in Black International (2019) 

Directed by F. Gary Gray 

Written by Art Marcum, Matt Holloway 

Starring Tessa Thompson, Chris Hemsworth, Emma Thompson, Liam Neeson, Rafe Spall 

Release Date June 14th, 2019 

Published June 13th, 2019 

Men in Black International stars Tessa Thompson as Molly. As a kid, Molly witnessed the mythic Men in Black neuralyzer her parents after their home was invaded by an alien. Molly avoided the mind erasing and developed a single-minded obsession with finding aliens and becoming part of the Men in Black. Cut to adult Molly and she is still seeking the Men in Black. She has dedicated her life to finding her way into the super-secret secret agency and her opportunity has finally arrived.

Molly uses her computer hacking skills to locate an alien that is returning to Earth, with a nod to the Weekly World News tabloid, a callback to the original 1997 movie which posited tabloid alien stories as real stories. Molly's investigation stumbles over the MIB HQ and she invites herself inside. Once inside, after a chat with Emma Thompson’s MIB boss, a character introduced in MIB3, she gets Molly a probationary gig as an agent.

As Agent M, Molly is assigned a task in the London office where she will be partnered with long-time agent, Agent H (Chris Hemsworth). Agent H is a bit of a washout. Something happened the last time that he saved the world and he’s never really recovered. Since then, he’s bounced around from case to case, narrowly avoiding being killed and generally being a pain in the backside for his boss and former partner, Agent T (Liam Neeson), cheekily referred to as High T.

Together, Agents M and H go on a worldwide whirlwind that takes the duo from London to Morocco, to the lair of a criminal dealing in Alien technology, Riza, played by Rebecca Ferguson, and to Paris where the Eiffel Tower serves as a bridge for the worst aliens in the world to attempt an invasion that is being coordinated by a rogue MIB agent. M and H must find the rogue Agent and prevent the alien invasion while overcoming M’s inexperience and H’s broken spirit.

The story I have described for Men in Black International sounds like a story that should work. The arcs are clear with M pursuing her dream and overcoming her inexperience and H seeking redemption while not being sure of what needs redeeming. It’s not a special story but if you build in good gags and solid action and effects, this is a good enough structure to support them. Sadly, director F Gary Gray brings absolutely nothing new or fresh or funny to his take on MIB.

Men in Black International differs from the original, 1997 Men in Black by not being particularly funny. Neither Thompson or Hemsworth appears interested in being funny, each appears to be waiting for the movie around them to be funny and it never happens. Kumail Nanjiani, playing an alien, nicknamed Pawny, is the closest thing to a character that is genuinely funny but the laughs remain few and far between.

The only innovation that the makers of Men In Black International bring to bear on the MIB franchise is moving the action from New York City to London and several other international locations. Beyond that, the aesthetic of Men in Black has not changed much in 22 years. The ending of the first Men in Black had more innovation than this modern sequel and all that did was update the suits to high fashion and put Will Smith in a more modern car.

If anything, Men in Black International is a step backward for the franchise. That’s odd since the MIB3 literally traveled into the past and felt more modern than International. Men in Black International looks like Men in Black in every way which is fine for a sequel but the movie doesn’t innovate on the franchise in any way. Without bringing something fresh to the franchise and without being funny, Men in Black International struggles to justify its very existence.

Men in Black International is a bizarre failure. We know that Tessa Thompson and Chris Hemsworth are funny, we saw that in Thor Ragnarok. And yet, there is no evidence of their humor in Men in Black International. Thompson is remote and occasionally withdrawn, delivering a perfunctory approximation of the uninspired script. Hemsworth meanwhile, rehashes pretty boy cliches that weren’t all that funny in Ghostbusters or the Vacation reboot and certainly don’t feel fresh here.

Men in Black International is professionally made. The film looks as if it should be entertaining. There is nothing wrong from a cinematography or design perspective and yet the movie is lifeless. The cast is going through the motions of a story that isn’t anything special and without any big laughs, Men in Black International just lingers on screen going through the motions of a very average action movie.

A good example of the failure and lack of inspiration in Men in Black International are the film's villains. Les Twins, Laurent and Larry Bourgeois play characters literally referred to as Alien Twin 1 and 2. The pair is known for their innovative dance videos on YouTube and yet we get barely a sample of what makes the twins special. A scene in a nightclub is intended to give them a showcase but the scene is clumsily shot and the dancing is blink and you will miss it. 

The twist is that a rogue MIB agent is the true big bad which explains why the Twins have no real characters to play but then why include them at all? The inclusion of Les Twins in Men in Black International is further evidence of the mercenary, marketing driven motivation behind this lifeless, soulless rehash of a well known property. The makers of Men in Black International hired Les Twins for their high social media profile and not to actually use them to serve a story being told. 

Why was this movie made? If the makers of Men in Black International had nothing new to say with this inventive premise then why did they make this movie? It appears to have been a purely mercenary effort on all sides. Everyone in the cast and crew appears to have been on hand solely to pick up a paycheck and deliver the absolute minimum effort with the only goal being to capitalize on a well known intellectual property.