Movie Review I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With

I want Someone to Eat Cheese (2007) 

Directed by Jeff Garlin

Written by Jeff Garlin

Starring Jeff Garlin, Sarah Silverman, Bonnie Hunt, Mina Kolb

Release Date September 5th, 2007 

Published September 25th, 2007 

If Hollywood won't cast you as the lead in a movie, make your own. That is what comedian and Curb Your Enthusiasm cast Jeff Garlin has done. I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With is Garlin gathering his friends, mostly from Chicago's Second City Comedy troupe, and making a movie that he can star in. Garlin produced, wrote the screenplay and directed I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With and it has the breezy, good natured tone of friends getting together to chat and make each other laugh. If the film occasionally strains for the laughs or goes just slightly over the top, it's okay because we like these characters and we especially like Garlin.

James (Garlin) has 3 very distinct problems. First is his weight, when we meet him he is outside a convenience store gorging on junk food and milk. Later he sneaks out of an overeaters anonymous meeting to go for ice cream. Next is the fact that at 39 he still lives with his mother (Mina Kolb). And lastly is his career where opportunities are beginning to dry up. Refusing to leave Chicago for Los Angeles, where there are far more jobs for a working actor, James is biding his time with the Second City Improv troupe as he awaits another opportunity.

James feels however that these problems would mean a whole lot less if he just had someone to eat cheese with, a cute metaphor invented by Beth (Sarah Silverman) as she and James observe a couple in the park sharing wine and cheese. James thinks that maybe he could share some cheese with Beth but she's a little crazy. When they meet she immediately frightens him with blunt sex talk. Later she invites him along as she shops for underwear. Is she toying with him or does she have real interest in him? We really can't tell. Then there is Stella (Bonnie Hunt) a school teacher who James runs into repeatedly and despite obvious chemistry, James fails to recognize the real possibilities with her.

The film sets up two distinct options for James and though one seems obviously right and the other obviously wrong, we are ok with James' mistake. It's a natural, human mistake and we have faith it will be corrected by the end of the film's very brief 80 minute runtime. Garlin's skill is not great romantic comedy but rather finding comedy in the everyday, mundane actions of the lives of these characters. The conversations, the rhythms of the everyday are organic and familiar in a friendly way. Especially funny are the conversations between James and his best friend Luca, played by David Pasquesi. Garlin and Pasquesi have been friends for years, from their time in Second City, and the natural rhythm of their conversations definitely shows.

There are awkward moments. Amy Sedaris has a cameo as a school guidance counselor that feels a little under-rehearsed. Also Sarah Silverman at times pushes past just being a little shocking and into off-putting territory. Again, a little bit too much improv likely leads to a little too much freedom and Silverman goes over the top. I still believed the character, because I know a number of shocking and slightly nuts gals, Silverman just takes it a little too far in one or two scenes. On the other hand, I did love Garlin's reaction to these awkward moments. His discomfort with her open sexuality is very sweet. Rarely do we get characters who don't just resist being a lech but really try to avoid the impression of a lecherous thought.

Charming, easygoing, with some really big laughs and a number of minor chuckles, I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With is a real delight.

Movie Review: Cars

Cars (2006) 

Directed by John Lasseter

Written Dan Fogelman, Joe Ranft, Jorgen Klubien

Starring Owen Wilson, Larry the Cable Guy, Michael Keaton, John Ratzenberger, Paul Newman, Bonnie Hunt, George Carlin

Release Date June 9th, 2006 

Published June 8th, 2006 

The vanguard of computer animation is Pixar. No company, not Dreamworks (Shrek, Madagascar), not Universal (Ice Age 1 & 2), not even corporate partner Disney can compete with the level of artistry and commerce that comes out of Steve Jobs extraordinary company. The list of Pixar triumphs reads like the hall of fame of the genre from the Toy Story films to Monsters Inc. to Finding Nemo to The Incredibles.

The latest effort from Pixar, the animated automobile adventure Cars, may not be the triumph that past Pixar films are but by the standards of the genre it far outpaces anything any other company has released.

Cars stars the voice of Owen Wilson as Lightning McQueen a rookie on the Piston Cup racing tour. Lightning is poised to become the first rookie racer ever to win the Piston Cup championship. Unfortunately, his arrogance selfishness has driven away his closest friends and teammates and nearly cost him the biggest race of his career.

Now forced into a single race challenge against the legendary 'King of racing, voiced by real life legend Richard Petty, and the nasty Chick Hicks (Michael Keaton) -the only racer more arrogant than lightning himself- Lightning must find his way to California and fend for himself in the race of his life.

Getting to the California speedway however turns out to be Lightning's biggest problem. When his 18 wheeler pal Mack (John Ratzenberger) falls asleep on the road, he accidentally lets Lightning fall out of the back of the truck and leaves him along a lonely stretch of road called Route 66. Lost in the middle of the night with no headlights, just stickers, Lightning winds up in the small town of Radiator Springs and in even deeper trouble.

Radiator Springs used to be a big deal back in the sixties, before the highway cut it out of the main artery of America. Now the lonely stretch of route 66 sits in decay awaiting the day when a tourist will remember it's there. Among the small town denizens waiting for customers for their road side attractions are Mater the tow truck (Larry The Cable Guy), Sarge (Michael Dooley) a military vehicle, Luigi (Tony Shalhoub) owner of the tire store and  Filmore (George Carlin) a hippy bus selling organic fuel.

When Lightning accidentally tears up mainstreet on his way to California the small town judge, Doc Hudson (Paul Newman), at the behest of the town's only lawyer, Sally (Bonnie Hunt), forces Lightning to repave main street before he can leave for his race.

If you think that the small towners will teach Lightning valuable lessons about humility, friendship, family and teamwork.. well.. your not wrong. Yes, the story is relatively predictable and old fashioned in the vein of very typical kids movie conventions and formulas. However, it is important to note that formulas are not inherently evil. It is how a typical plot formula is employed that makes or breaks a formula film.

Cars works because directors Joe Lasseter and Joe Ranft take this formula concept and improve upon it by delivering great characters and funny dialogue. The humor is warm and a little more gentle than the usual Pixar fare. It lacks that sly, intellectual edge of most Pixar films but it is not dull. Don't be mistaken, Pixar's usual pop culture riffs and self referential humor is in good supply it's just somehow a little quieter here than in the past.

What has not changed is the quality of Pixar's extraordinary animation. The pioneers in this field, Pixar continues breaking down the barriers of what can be done with computer animation. The films opening scene is a mindblowing series of race scenes that look beyond real until you get closeup and see the anthropomorphized race cars with soft human features, bumpers for mouths, eyes in the windshield et al.

The Cars of the title are so well animated that they take on truly human personas. You obviously never forget they are automobiles but at a certain point you stop pondering the mechanics of humanistic vehicles and just laugh along with the compelling characters.

Look at the details of the Hudson Hornet voiced by Paul Newman. Watch closely for the ways this stately vehicle evokes the real life Paul Newman in the animated eyes and lips. What an awesome piece of work this is.

It pains me to admit this but it's the truth..... Larry The Cable steals nearly the whole picture. The terribly unfunny redneck comic who has already delivered arguably the years worst film, Larry The Cable Guy Health Inspector, somehow morphs into a lovable, cuddly, teddy bear of a character in Cars. His voice slightly elevated and the rough edges of his persona worn down to a fine rust colored sheen, Larry The Cable Guy delivers the films most entertaining performance.

All of the voice actors are strong but it is Larry as the rust bucket tow truck Mater -get it tow-mater- who truly steals the film. Mater's sweet clueless demeanor and undying optimism are so winning that you nearly forget Larry's vile real life persona. Credit writer-director John Lasseter who knew just how to draw the right performance out of the non-actor while letting him be just enough of himself to be comfortable. You didn't think they would let the movie end without Larry's catchphrases did you.

Be sure to stick around during the credits for what may be Pixar's finest self referential moment. John Ratzneberger, the only actor to play a role in every Pixar feature, as Mack Truck visits the radiator springs drive in for a take on how Pixar would exist in the Cars universe. Very funny stuff.

Cars is not the creative home run that Finding Nemo and The Incredibles were but it is certainly lives up to the standards of the Pixar brand. And, of course, when compared to genre competitors it's absolutely no contest, Cars leaves'em in the dust.

Movie Review: Cheaper by the Dozen

Cheaper by the Dozen (2003) 

Directed by Shawn Levy 

Written by Sam Harper, Joel Cohen, Alec Sokolow 

Starring Steve Martin, Paula Marshall, Richard Jenkins, Bonnie Hunt, Tom Welling, Hillary Duff

Release Date December 25th, 2003 

Published December 21st, 2003

I should have seen this coming. The warning signs were there. A preview screening nearly a month before the film’s release. A script adaptation credited to eight--yes, I said eight--writers. And a director who aspires to mediocrity because mediocre would be an improvement over what he's done before. Nevertheless, I still happily attended the screening of Cheaper By The Dozen because I thought Steve Martin can't possibly make a film that bad. I could not have been more wrong.

The plot description for this film is somewhat difficult because it's essentially a series of sub-sitcom level moments of family comedy. Martin stars as a football coach in a small Illinois town. He and his wife, played by Bonnie Hunt (also one of the eight credited writers), are unique because they were high school sweethearts who have been married for 22 years, and they have 12 children. Their family farm house is an absolute mess of toys and small animals and sporting equipment. Meanwhile, each of the kids have a handy little quirk to help us tell them apart. The archetypes are classic ABC TGIF kids: the tomboy, the prissy one, the really smart one, the fat kid and so on and so forth. It saves the time of having to write 12 individual characters.

The plot, such as it is, has Martin's character accepting a new job at a big college. So, the family packs up and moves to a Chicago suburb where they meet their neighbors, played by Alan Ruck and Paula Marshall. (Poor Marshall has the thankless task of playing the only-in-the-movies type of bitch character that says horribly insensitive things and will get her comeuppance by the end of the film.) However Marshall isn't nearly as abused as poor Richard Jenkins. Slumming from his role as the coolest dead guy on TV on HBO's Six Feet Under, Jenkins play Martin's best friend and new boss who is required to be inhumanly stupid. It is poor Mr. Jenkins’ character who forces Martin to choose between his job and his 12 kids. Well golly, what do you think he will choose?

Hunt's character writes a book about her family that lands on the bestseller list, forcing her to leave the family for a few days for a book tour. Golly, do you think dad can handle taking care of all of those kids by himself? I don't know about you, but I think we’re in for hijinks here. The kids trash a neighbor’s birthday party by accidentally releasing a snake in the house. Again it's poor Marshall who takes the brunt of that beating.

Oh it gets worse.

Teen stars Hillary Duff and Tom Welling play the family's two older children. In adjusting to their new high school, these two actors who look like fashion models are required by the script to be outcasts at their new school. It reminded me of the movie She's All That where Rachel Leigh Cook was considered a nerd because she wore glasses and baggy clothes, except that Welling and Duff never look like anything but the Gap models they are in real life.

Martin stretches and strains all over the screen trying to make this forced, stupid material work and the strain shows in every moment of the film. If you thought his Bringing Down The House character was forced, you will be shocked that this character is actually worse.

Director Shawn Levy cut his teeth on Nickelodeon and Disney Channel TV series’ until getting his big break directing 2003's very first worst movie of the year, Just Married. So how fitting that he should bookend 2003 with its final worst movie of the year. Cheaper By The Dozen is an awful movie. A sub-Brady Bunch sitcom, full of forced jokes and cheap contrived melodrama.

In the words of my hero, Roger Ebert, who used this phrase to sum up his feelings about the film North, "I HATED, HATED, HATED, HATED, HATED THIS MOVIE".

Movie Review Stolen Summer

Stolen Summer (2002) 

Directed by Pete Jones 

Written by Pete Jones 

Starring Aidan Quinn, Bonnie Hunt, Kevin Pollak, Brian Dennehy 

Release Date March 22nd, 2002 

Published November 14th, 2002 

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon's Project Greenlight attempted to combine the reality TV genre with the art of filmmaking and the result was Pete Jones's childhood drama `` Stolen Summer. But was Project Greenlight a success?

The film stars previously unknown child actor Adiel Stein as Pete O'Malley, a misguided second grader who is concerned that he won't get into heaven. So Pete sets out on a quest and after he finds out that the Jewish people in his neighborhood weren't interested in being saved he sets about trying to convert them. Pete's theory is if he can help Jews get to heaven he can get himself in. So Pete sets up a lemonade stand outside the local synagogue to give away lemonade and talk about heaven. The Rabbi of the synagogue is Rabbi Jacobsen (Kevin Pollak) who finds Pete to be a little curious and after speaking to him takes to the odd little boy. Rather than being upset by the boy or trying in vain to explain the Jewish faith he simply accepts the kid's quest and figures he'll grow out of it.=

Aiden Quinn plays Pete's domineering father Joe who doesn't have time to keep track of what Pete's doing, with his job and seven other children. Pete's mother (Bonnie Hunt) is tolerant of it as long as he doesn't get in trouble. After a fire at the Jacobsen home where Joe saves the Rabbi's son Danny (MIke Weinberg), Pete strikes up a friendship with Danny while Rabbi Jacobsen seeks a way to repay Joe for saving his son. 

We quickly learn there is something wrong with Danny and it's revealed that he has leukemia, for Pete this means he has to find a quick way to get his friend into heaven. Since neither knows anything about religious conversion they agree on a series of athletic events, swimming, running and the like. Meanwhile Rabbi Jacobsen wants to pay back Joe's good deed by awarding Joe's oldest son Patrick (American Pie's Eddie Kaye Thomas) a college scholarship from the synagogue. Joe's pride however will not allow him to accept it to the great dismay of his son and his wife. Does Joe's pigheadedness come from anti-Semitism or just pride, we aren't certain.

So this is it, this is the best material of all the 7500 plus screenplays submitted. This is the one. It's not a bad screenplay, but it's not great either. The film has the feeling of a better than average TV movie. It is certainly not as interesting as the documentary of the film's creation which aired on HBO. The series Project Greenlight had all the best and worst elements of reality TV, short of having people voted off the set. The film Stolen Summer has none of that intrigue or passion. A production so fraught with drama should produce a better film than a movie that could fit easily into the wonderful world of Disney.

I will say this for Pete Jones and his crew, Stolen Summer is a technically solid film. The acting is sharp amongst the older actors, Pollak especially. Hunt and Quinn could do this material in their sleep, and to their credit they stay awake and give strong performances. Watching Aiden Quinn in Stolen Summer does make you long for the jerk he showed himself to be behind the scenes, the bravado, the backstabbing, the "why in the hell am I here?"

In the end the film is swallowed by the TV series and rather than watching Stolen Summer, audience members spend most of the film searching for the cracks in the armor that were obvious in the making of the documentary. We watched the film's one special effects scene to see if it turned out better than it did on TV. We watched the scene with the kids swimming knowing that it took forever to shoot and that the kids were freezing cold. The audience is unable to separate the film and its production and thus the film gets lost.