Movie Review: Bad Company

Bad Company (2002) 

Directed by Joel Schumacher

Written by Jason Richman 

Starring Chris Rock, Anthony Hopkins, Gabriel Macht

Release Date June 7th, 2002

Published June 6th, 2002 

Anyone who has ever written a screenplay knows one of the hardest parts is coming up with a title. Back in 2000 Jerry Bruckheimer thought that when he bankrolled a mismatched, fish out of water, buddy, action comedy that the film had a perfect title. That title was Black Sheep. Bruckheimer had forgotten that just three years earlier Chris Farley and David Spade starred in a god-awful comedy of the same title. So the title was changed, however, the new title now seems just as curious. 

Bad Company is the title of at least a dozen films, one of which was a spy movie made in 1990 starring Laurence Fishburne and Ellen Barkin. Curiously that film is just like the new Bad Company, about CIA agents. Of course the fact that I have spent the first few paragraphs of this review writing about the title of the film should indicate how I felt about this latest Bad Company.

Chris Rock stars in dual roles, the first being an undercover CIA agent who is killed in the former Czech Republic in an arms deal gone bad. The second role is that of the CIA agent’s estranged twin brother Jake Hayes. After his twin brother’s death, Jake is recruited by the CIA to replace him and complete the arms deal. Jake is not surprisingly reluctant to team with the CIA and his brother’s former partner Oakes (Sir Anthony Hopkins). After finances are discussed, Jake eagerly takes up his brother’s cause.

This, of course leads to one of those typical fish out of water sequences where the low class character has to learn to be high class and do so in very little time. Jake needs to know which fork to use at a fancy dinner and needs to learn how to dress, walk and speak. It's a scene cribbed from a dozen other formula fish out of water comedies and not improved upon here. 

Once Jake is ready he is taken to the Czech Republic to do the deal, but wouldn't you know it, the same guys who killed his brother are already waiting for Jake and the CIA and the deal goes bad. The nuclear weapon that was the subject of the deal is stolen and moved to New York City, and somehow Jake's girlfriend is kidnapped. I'm sure there was a good reason for how the bad guys figured out Jake wasn't his brother but I was so bored with Bad Company by this point I didn't care.

It's not surprising to find this formula swill was directed by Joel Schumacher, the king of formula swill. (I should note my still simmering bitterness towards the man who destroyed the Batman series). What is surprising is seeing two actors as talented as Sir Anthony Hopkins and Chris Rock in such a conventional film. From the script to the screen, I can't imagine they couldn't see how formulaic and trite this material was. 

Rock deserves a lot of credit for going off the script as often as he does, providing the only solace from the lame formula with bits taken from his standup act and his natural wit. Sir Anthony Hopkins on the other hand makes it clear that he is merely picking up a check sleepwalking through the entire film, especially it's lamest of all ending. 

It would be very easy for me to blame Joel Schumacher for this formula trash but the real fault lies with Jerry Bruckheimer. He after all is the one who keeps financing this supposedly crowd pleasing, screen tested trash. Bruckheimer knows formula swill because he and his late partner Don Simpson invented it.

Movie Review: The Spirit

The Spirit (2008) 

Directed by Frank Miller 

Written by Frank Miller 

Starring Gabriel Macht, Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson, Eva Mendes, Sarah Paulson

Release Date December 25th, 2008 

Published December 24th, 2008 

The Spirit began as an insert in the Des Moines Register newspaper. Noticing the popularity of comic book superheroes the newspaper syndicate behind the Register and several other papers across the country launched their own comic book hero. They turned to in house artist Will Eisner who quickly turned out The Spirit. Fifty some years later The Spirit has been turned into a post-modern comic book movie in the hands of comics master Frank Miller. The adaptation is nearly as slipshod as the original creation was rushed.

Gabriel Macht plays The Spirit, a dead cop returned to life by his arch enemy as an experiment. The Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson) invented a potion and used the dead cop's body as a guinea pig. It worked, turning the cop into an unkillable but still human, crime fighting hero. Of course the Octopus dosed himself with his creation as well and as we join the story the two are in a futile, unwinnable battle of knives, guns and other such murderous implements that only serve to slow each other down. The Octopus however, has a plan.

He seeks an ancient vase that contains the blood of a human god. That blood will make him all powerful and finally able to kill the Spirit. Complicating his plan is a woman from The Spirit's past named Sand Serif (Eva Mendes). She is seeking a different ancient box with a different treasure when she comes to possess the vase. Will she give it to the Octopus or will she reunite with the Spirit? It's not as dramatic question as you might think.

The Spirit is filmed in the exact same black and white with color elements style as Sin City. In fact, it is fair to say that The Spirit is entirely derivative of Sin City. From the look to the hard-boiled dialogue to the timeless setting, The Spirit apes almost every aspect of Sin City minus the skilled direction of Robert Rodriguez. Before you try and correct me comment section, I am aware that Frank Miller's comics work inspired the look of Sin City, but that doesn't change how Miller brings nothing new or fresh to The Spirit.

Frank Miller learned direction at the side of Robert Rodriguez and you can definitely see Rodriguez's influence in The Spirit. Unfortunately, that's all you see. Miller brings no innovation, no new wrinkles whatsoever to The Spirit. Miller phones in the look of The Spirit, copying every aspect of Sin City. Without the cool of Sin City we are left with a pretty lame story of a bland undead cop and an over-acting Sam Jackson that wears through the camp appeal really quick. Gabriel Macht is so non-descript that his name is nearly forgotten before the credits roll.

The sight of Sam Jackson in ninja garb and a Nazi uniform loses its humor fast, choking under the weight of Jackson's scene chewing. Jackson has chewed the furniture before but never with such vigor as this. It could be campy fun but Jackson is far too earnestly snarling that the camp factor goes out the window and the just plain bad quickly takes over.

If you can figure out why Scarlett Johannson is in this movie you are a better man than I. Johannson is the biggest star in the cast and yet she is at best the fourth lead in the movie; playing second fiddle Jackson and his bellowing and gesticulating. Johannson remains the most appealing element of The Spirit but her choice of roles is monumentally puzzling.

The Spirit is a lame knockoff of Sin City with all of the style and none of the appeal of that modern classic.

Movie Review: The Recruit

The Recruit (2003) 

Directed by Roger Donaldson 

Written by Roger Towne, Kurt Wimmer, Mitch Glazer 

Starring Al Pacino, Colin Farrell, Bridget Moynihan, Gabriel Macht 

Release Date January 31st, 2003 

Published January 30th, 2003 

Is Al Pacino's act running thin? An unquestionably brilliant actor for most of his career, Pacino has been uneven at best in his most recent work. His last, the Hollywood satire Simone, was a middling comedy that featured a mugging, forced performance by Pacino. However, the film before that, the ingenious thriller Insomnia, showed Pacino at his best. His newest work continues the spate of uneven performances as Pacino plays mentor/tormentor to Colin Farrell in The Recruit.

In The Recruit, Al Pacino plays CIA recruiter Walter Burke, a grizzled vet whose job it is to find the next generation of agents. Burke has his eye on an MIT student named James Clayton (Farrell), whose father may or may not have been an agent himself. Clayton isn't interested at first, but suspicions as to whether his father was an agent and whether Burke knew him, and how his father died, cause Clayton to join up.

Soon Clayton is shipped off to the Farm, the CIA's highly secretive spy training ground. Burke is the Farm's lead trainer and though he was friendly with Clayton while recruiting him, Burke is quick to let Clayton know that things are different on the Farm. From now on, nothing is what it seems as students and teachers turn tables on each other in a series of testy spy games meant to wash out the weak and send the strong on to the CIA. While at the Farm, Clayton meets Layla (Bridget Moynihan), another potential agent whose alluring chemistry with Clayton may or may not be an act.

The Recruit is a construct of numerous setups meant to lead the audience in one direction and then pull the rug out from under them. Unfortunately, the setups are rather ham-handed and lack any real suspense. Any intelligent audience member can see where the film is going. That is, until the end--which is a minor surprise--but by then, the movie has spent so much time jerking the audience around with one random twist after another, it becomes hard to really care.

Farrell is very good in a role that requires his character to be very smart but yet, easily manipulated by Pacino's character who may a bad guy or may be a good guy. Farrell has the look of a star; he's charismatic and engaging with a strong good-guy swagger. There are moments where he evokes a young Mel Gibson. Like it or not, that Hollywood buzz about Farrell being the next big thing may be more than just hype.

If the rest of The Recruit were as good as Farrell, it would have been a very good film. Unfortunately, director Roger Donaldson takes this intelligent character and buries him with an uninteresting love interest, a hammy Al Pacino, and a plot that twists and turns so much as to exhaust the audience rather than entertain it. Colin Farrell has a very bright future in front of him and The Recruit will do little to slow his momentum as he builds towards bigger roles in Daredevil and the delayed, but much buzzed about, Phone Booth. The Recruit will be just another film on his resume soon enough.

Movie Review Because I Said So

Because I Said So (2007) 

Directed by Michael Lehmann 

Written by Jessie Nelson

Starring Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, Gabriel Macht, Tom Everett Scott, Lauren Graham, Piper Perabo

Release Date December 2nd, 2006 

Published December 2nd, 2006 

In my nearly seven years writing film criticism I have seen some awful movies. Rarely however, have I seen something as brutal as the new romantic comedy Because I Said So starring Diane Keaton. It's not that the film is as badly made as say, Deuce Bigelow, or as poorly acted as the indie feature Undiscovered. No, what makes Because I Said So so notably awful is the cast.

How does a movie starring the legendary Diane Keaton, the lovable Mandy Moore and the reliable Lauren Graham, end up this brutally awful? That is a notable achievement, taking three beloved actors and forcing them into a movie so insufferable that even their innate appeal is dimmed by how terrible this movie is. That director Michael Lehmann once directed Heathers, a legit cult classic, makes this epic misfire so much more of a mystery. Then again, Lehmann also directed Hudson Hawk. Hmm.

In Because I Said So Diane Keaton plays Daphne, a mother of three beautiful daughters who, on the verge of turning 60, has just one wish. Daphne wants to find a man for her youngest daughter, Millie (Mandy Moore). To this end, Daphne commits herself to the task of finding Millie's ideal man by creating an online dating ad for her and then interviewing potential candidates herself. The search leads to a nice guy architect named Josh (Tom Everett Scott) who mom absolutely loves. Also in the running is a nice guy guitar player named Johnny (Gabriel Macht) who mom doesn't so much like but is Millie's perfect type.

If you need a road map to figure which guy Millie ends up with you have either never seen a movie before or have lived your entire life in a cave; cut off from logic. Because I Said So is not merely predictable, predictability I could forgive. No, Because I Said So is such a trainwreck of romantic comedy cliches and artificial roadblocks that it becomes unbearable to watch this cast enact such sub-sitcom levels of convoluted comic idiocy. 

Diane Keaton is a legend. She has won the Oscar for best actress. She has even made a few very bad movies, First Wives Club, Hanging Up, to name a few. But, she has never been this awful in a movie. Her performance in Because I Said So is an epic disaster of over the top gesticulations, shrill dialogue delivery and logic free character development. As a director herself, it's a wonder how Keaton did not see this character going so badly. Or maybe she did. There is a good ten minute sequence in the film in which Keaton doesn't say a word. I can't prove this, but I like to think this was Keaton's silent protest of the movie. I can hope, can't I?

Because I Said So doesn't just slime the great Ms. Keaton, it nearly destroys the career of Mandy Moore. The former pop star had come a very long way in her acting career since her ugly debut in the weepy teen romance A Walk To Remember. She was terrific in a bitchy supporting role in Saved, charming in a bitchy role in American Dreamz, and utterly darling in her cameo on TV's Scrubs. Sadly and unfortunately in Because I Said So, Moore looks like a novice actress, tripping over punchlines and allowing the movie to make her look like a fool in nearly every scene. 

Moore should find some way to sue director Michael Lehmann for allowing her to appear so utterly befuddled onscreen. This is a career low-point that would be difficult to recover from for the veteran Diane Keaton. For Ms. Moore, she may have to look to a TV career before considering film again. Lauren Graham of TV's Gilmore Girls and Piper Perabo of Coyote Ugly round out what is, on paper, a stellar cast. How you make a movie this awful with this cast is truly astonishing. Both Graham and Perabo are thanking their lucky stars that their roles barely rise above cameos.

How bad is Because I Said So? Here is just a hint of what this movie believes is funny. Two scenes of Diane Keaton watching internet porn. Two scenes of Ms. Keaton, legs in the air screaming to the heavens, a dog humping furniture. Some of the most stilted and awkward sex talk in the history of film. Not one, but two all family sing alongs. And, because the family runs a catering business, 3 scenes of people covered in cake.

Now, I can hear skeptics out there reading along and thinking 'of course he doesn't like this movie, it's a chick flick'. Allow me to explain how this works. I loved The Holiday, I loved Love Actually and I gave a glowing recommendation to the movie The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. This is not about genre, or target audience. This is about Because I Said So being one of the worst movies I have ever seen.

In the words of the great Roger Ebert, from the title of one of his great books, I hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Because I Said So is a painfully awful, nightmare of a movie that poor Diane Keaton may never recover from. She is lucky that she was once in Annie Hall and won a very deserved Academy award for Best Actress because otherwise it would be very easy to write her off after a disaster like this.

As it stands, I'm sure Diane Keaton will be back. Let's just hope she fires her agent before he allows her to make another movie remotely as awful as Because I Said So.