Movie Review: Bloodrayne

Bloodrayne (2006) 

Directed by Uwe Boll 

Written by Guinevere Turner 

Starring Kristanna Loken, Michael Madsen, Matthew Davis, Billy Zane 

Release Date January 6th, 2006

Published January 5th, 2006 

Critiquing a film directed by Uwe Boll on its filmmaking merits--artistry, narrative, acting--is, as my grandfather might say, "like arguing with a dog about being a dog." An Uwe Boll film is an Uwe Boll film, and no amount of money can turn a Boll film into a real movie. So, in reviewing Boll's Bloodrayne, I attempted to put myself in Mr. Boll's shoes and try to understand what his vision of the film was. This lasted about two minutes before unstoppable giggling set in.

Bloodrayne is possibly Mr. Boll's most amateur and accomplished film at the same time. The movie is riotously unintentionally campy and yet features a stellar cast--well beyond the talent of the director. That these actors are well beneath their parts is a given, but that each manages to look worse than they have ever looked in a film is an Uwe Boll given.

Bloodrayne stars Terminator 3 vixen Kristanna Loken as Rayne, a sideshow circus freak whose talent is that she is burned by water and healed by blood. Rayne is a vampire, sort of. Rayne is the offspring of a vampire--her mother was raped by a powerful vampire named Kagan (Ben Kingsley) and Rayne was the result of the unholy union.

Rayne has the weaknesses and strengths of a vampire but is not technically a vampire, I think. See, here's the thing about an Uwe Boll film, pausing to logically assess why his characters are as they are or do what they do really is not anything Mr. Boll is interested in doing. Thus, we get Rayne who is burned by water--not holy water mind you, just water. Rayne drinks blood for survival and cannot be out in the sun but, according to a fortune teller/plot device, she is not a vampire but a Dhampir--a human/vampire offspring. Think Blade minus anything remotely entertaining.

The legend of Bloodrayne reaches a group of vampire hunters from the Brimstone Society led by Vladimir (Michael Madsen) and his partners Katarin (Michele Rodriguez) and Sebastian (Matthew Davis). Vladimir's protégés are skeptical of the prophecy that surrounds the Dhampir, they’re looking to take out Rayne and garner any reward that might come from her violent end. Vladimir on the other hand, believes Rayne may actually be the key figure in the war between vampires and humans.

Naturally, everything comes down to a final showdown between good and evil, and a series of inept action sequences that only a director as incompetent as Uwe Boll can deliver. The dialogue is a bit surprising, as it was written by the talented Guinivere Turner who wrote excellent scripts for American Psycho and her own directorial effort Go Fish. Working outside of her comfort zone in the fantasy/action genre Turner has delivered a script that only Uwe Boll could love. Then again, Boll probably didn't care about the screenplay. 

Filled to overflow with ridiculous battle scenes and nonsense character motivations, Bloodrayne is actually a real hoot if you can step away and appreciate the unintentional camp. As Tara Reid playing a scientist was a big laugh in Boll's previous film Alone In The Dark, Michael Madsen playing a character named Vladimir and delivering portentous speeches about vampire lore is one of the funnier things in any non-comedy I’ve ever seen.. You have to respect Madsen's ability to keep a straight face in these scenes. Madsen's lethargy is all that keeps Bloodrayne from being a legendary camp farce.

The only entertaining aspect of Bloodrayne is the enormous volume of unintentional laughs it draws. I nearly had to leave the theater as my fellow filmgoers shot me dirty looks for my loud guffaws. Not that I was the only one laughing, but some people actually seemed to follow the film, which I also found hysterically funny. Ben Kingsley is a true unintended riot as the vampire king. Only Eddie Redmayne’s legendary over top performance in Jupiter Ascending can match the screen chewing of Kingsley in Bloodrayne. It is  a tour de force of unintended camp.  

Finally, pushing the film's camp quotient into the red is the cameo appearance of the brilliantly over-the-top Billy Zane. As the mysterious leader of the Brimstone Society, Zane's character Elrich is locked away from the main characters in a far-off castle, leaving him to speak aloud to himself and belt every ridiculous line of dialogue all the way to the back of the room. Zane gives a comedy cameo in Bloodrayne that blows away any comedy cameo you have ever seen. That it is not meant to be funny only makes it funnier.

Bloodrayne is nearly so bad it's good. In fact, if you are a brave filmgoer, with a strong sense of camp fun, I might just recommend Bloodrayne.

Movie Review: The Notorious Bettie Page

The Notorious Bettie Paige (2005) 

Directed by Mary Harron 

Written by Mary Herron, Guinevere Turner 

Starring Gretchen Mol, Chris Bauer, Lili Taylor, Jared Harris 

Release Date April 14th, 2006 

Published April 13th, 2006 

The life of 50's pin up queen Bettie Page was bustling and tumultuous and full of controversy. To watch the movie of Page's life, The Notorious Bettie Page, from director Mary Harron and writer Guin Turner; Page herself was entirely oblivious to her place in the world. The film features an exemplary performance from actress Gretchen Mol who evokes Page in both looks and spirit, but is so soft hearted and soft headed it's impossible to believe.

Graduating from High School in the 1940's Bettie Mae Page (Gretchen Mol) was a noted member of the debate team who missed out on class valedictorian by the slimmest of margins. After marrying her high school sweetheart and attending college to become a teacher, Bettie tired of life in Tennessee. Finding her husband to be an abusive brute and teaching far too dull, Bettie found herself in New York City where a chance encounter on the beach with an amateur photographer lead her life in an extraordinary direction.

Posing for photo clubs where she willingly posed nude for strangers; Bettie met photographer Paula Claw (Lily Taylor) and her enterprising husband Irving (Chris Bauer). The Claw's had a thriving mail order business that shipped fetish photos to collectors all around the country. Soon Bettie was wearing black leather bustiers, high heel leather boots, and being trussed in various positions for photos that would make her a fetishist icon.

On a trip to Florida Bettie met another photographer, Bunny Yeager (Sarah paulson), who would further the legend of Bettie Page with photos that eventually landed in the pages of a very young Playboy magazine. All the while Bettie remains oblivious of her celebrity and of the somewhat unsavory of the photos she was posing for.

A scene between Bettie and a photographer, John Willie (Jared Harris), in which Willie asks Bettie how god might feel about her fetish and nude photos threatens to give Bettie a moment of depth. Unfortunately her answer is the kind of answer you might expect of a naive, southern, christian girl and not the queen of the fetish photo world. Bettie's cluelessness as portrayed in The Notorious Bettie Page, true or not to the real Bettie Page, comes off so unbelievable that it could actually have been played for laughs, it's not.

This is not the result of Gretchen Mol's performance which is vibrant and sexy. This is a real career shifter for Mol who, up until now, has been an eye candy substitute for directors unable to land a Kirsten Dunst or Scarlett Johannson. Mol has, in films like The Thirteenth Floor, Rounders and  The Shape of Things, been a beautiful cipher. She failed at every turn to inhabit her characters beyond her good looks. That all changes in The Notorious Bettie Page where Mol combines sex appeal and warmth to create a fun loving, if not all that deep character. That's alright as depth is not what is asked for.

Director Mary Harron and writer Guin Turner are clearly big fans of Bettie Page. However, the hero worship leads them to basically just recreate moments in Bettie's life without coloring in the character with any kind of inner life. Could the real Bettie Page been nearly class valedictorian and a good christian and yet still be entirely clueless of the controversy her photos were creating? I find that impossible to believe as it is portrayed in The Notorious Bettie Page. 

The film is framed by scenes of Bettie waiting to testify at Senator Estes Kefauver's (David Straithairn in a cameo) juvenile delinquency hearings. It is alleged that Bettie became aware of her controversial status at these hearings and that she may have decided to give up modeling because of them. However, as posited by the movie, the hearings were almost meaningless. Bettie waited for hours and never testified. The Claw's lost their business because of the hearings and that as much as anything ended Bettie's career.

The impact of the hearings is almost nothing beyond demonstrating the foolishness of Kefauver and his ilk. A bolder dramatic decision might have followed the alleged story that Bettie took seriously what she heard in those hearings and gave up her career. Instead the film follows Bettie to her re-christening at a church and her somehow continued ignorance to her place in the world.

There is still much for the Bettie Page cult to love about The Notorious Bettie Page. Gretchen Mol gives wonderful life to the icon of Bettie Page and the filmmakers delight in recreating Bettie's most famous poses. The film is crazy sexy and yet manages to capture one photographers perfect assessment of Bettie, that even when nude, she isn't really nude. She somehow remains innocent even as she is trussed and spanked. That, no doubt is why she was and is so popular. Page remains a wondrous dichotomy.

Gretchen Mol delivers a career transforming performance in The Notorious Bettie Page. The way she brings to life Bettie Page is fabulous and fun but also entirely uncomplicated and without depth. That is not Mol's fault. Director Mary Harron and writer Guin Turner show often that they are far more interested in hero worship than they are in telling the real life story of Bettie Page.

Fun but not very interesting The Notorious Bettie Page will satisfy Bettie Page fans and fetishists, those  interested in watching recreations of her most favored poses. However, for those who want to know and understand the legend, The Notorious Bettie Page is a disappointment. The film appears to have no interest in developing Bettie Page, examining her inner life, or crafting her into a satisfying whole human being. The icon is well represented in place of the person.