Movie Review Cold Pursuit

Cold Pursuit (2019)

Directed by Hans Pettier Moland

Written by Frank Baldwin 

Starring Liam Neeson, Laura Dern, Tom Bateman, Emmy Rossum, Julia Jones

Release Date February 28th, 2019

Published February 27th, 2019

Cold Pursuit is the latest attempt to prop up the old guy action star genre. The film is an exercise in silly violence and black humor that is rarely exciting and rarely humorous. Director Hans Petter Moland had more success perhaps the first time he made this exact same movie in Sweden under the title In Order of Disappearance. That film was also an exercise in the old guy action movie genre with Stellan Skarsgard leading the way and doing about as much as Neeson does here. 

Cold Pursuit stars Liam Neeson as Nels Coxman, a snow plow driver in the Colorado Rockies whose job is to keep one road open between a small skiing town and the outside world. Nels is popular in his small town where he has recently been named citizen of the year. Things however take an unfortunate turn when Nels’ son is killed by drug dealers. That’s what he believes happened, cops tell him that his son overdosed.

Being Liam Neeson and thus better than a police detective, Nels sets out to find the drug dealers and begins killing his way up the drug chain of command from the low level dealers who did the killing all the way up to the Denver based kingpin, nicknamed Viking (Tom Bateman). Viking is a cold-hearted killer who, though he employs flunkies for most of his dirty work, isn’t afraid to do some of his own killing. 

While Nels is searching for Viking, Viking is unwittingly searching for him while accidentally blaming a rival gang of Native American drug dealers for the murders that Nels is committing. This only serves to amp up the danger and the bloodshed while Nels flies under the radar for a while creating chaos and unwittingly fomenting the showdown between Viking and his hated rivals in the drug trade. 

Cold Pursuit is efficiently crafted and has a stark and striking setting. Director Hans Petter Moland has a leg up on this material as he did make this movie before. Moland is no stranger to the cold climate as his earlier movie was set in the barren, snowy outlands of Sweden. Moland knows that red blood against white snow is a strong visual as is steamy breath against moonlit darkness. These motifs aren’t exactly new but they are more effective than the silly story of Cold Pursuit. 

Liam Neeson appears as tired of his action movie persona as we are. His Nels may be a tough guy but his age is showing in the bone weary exhaustion in his face and manner. Neeson has spoken of retiring his action movie character but with the terrible, The Commuter, having made more than $100 million dollars at the worldwide box office it appears that only Neeson and film critics, like me, are actually tired of movies like Cold Pursuit. 

Just how tired is Liam Neeson? He disappears from the movie as if he needed a nap before resuming the plot. Partway through the second act, Nels goes offscreen while we follow the bad guys and their machinations against each other while they are unaware of Nels and his one man war against them. Tom Bateman, a British stage actor, is not a bad actor but since we don’t know who he is, he isn’t particularly compelling. 

A role like Viking needed a character actor, perhaps a younger Christopher Walken type. A Walken like actor could have transformed this character with his innate weirdness and oddball tangents. Bateman is playing the role with a good deal of energy and gusto but he’s far too serious. He’s approaching the material with a straight up bad guy performance and there is nothing special about it. The bad guy role is as perfunctory as the plot which literally ticks off a list of kill after kill with names on the screen that get crossed out as the movie goes on. 

I’m aware that Cold Pursuit was intended to have some black humor to it but none of the humor lands all that well. One example of the film’s approach to dark humor happens when Nels goes to identify his son’s body. As Nels waits awkwardly to make the identification we watch while a morgue table rises slowly from the floor to eye level. The table takes forever to rise and we are supposed to, I assume, find it hilariously awkward as the body of Nels’ son rises into the frame. 

Did you know that the brilliant Laura Dern is in Cold Pursuit? Of all of the sins of this perfunctory, forgettable, predictable action movie, casting Laura Dern only to treat her like some unknown day player is perhaps the film’s greatest sin. Why bother paying to have someone of Laura Dern’s stature when you have absolutely no interest in using her talent. Dern plays Neeson’s wife and after their son is killed her role is reduced to sulky resentment toward her husband before she just disappears. 

Movie Review Poseidon

Poseidon (2006)

Directed by Wolfgang Peterson

Written by Mark Protosevich

Starring Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Richard Dreyfuss, Emmy Rossum, Mike Vogel, Mia Maestro

Release Date May 12th, 2006

Published May 11th, 2006

The 1972 original The Poseidon Adventure was a dopey all star marathon of water logged cheesiness. From Gene Hackman's turtleneck to Shelley Winters swimming, to Red Buttons closeted fabulousness, there is nothing but pure camp fun to be found in this ludicrous disaster epic.

This is why I was not so vehemently opposed to the film being remade. I find it refreshing to find filmmakers leaving the classics alone and attempting to make a bad movie into a good one. The attempt is a miserable failure but at least we aren't left with a shot for shot remake of Psycho haunting video store shelves as the shame of shame.

Poseidon stars Josh Lucas as an inveterate gambler named Dylan who boards the ocean liner Poseidon looking for rich victims to play poker with. Dylan cares about no one but himself, so, of course, when the supposedly unsinkable ship is flipped by a freakishly large wave it is Dylan who must lead potential survivors to safety.

Why Dylan and not, say, the former Mayor of New York and hero fireman Robert Ramsey (Kurt Russell)? Probably because Lucas is younger, better looking and studios think he is a star on the rise. At Least that is the cynical answer. The plot however says that Dylan is simply luckier in finding conveniently placed maps of the ship that he uses to find the one spot where people can escape.

Along for the ride, as cannon fodder mostly, are Robert's daughter Jennifer (Emmy Rossum) her fiancee Christian (Mike Vogel), single mom Maggie (Jascinda Barrett) and her son Conor (Jimmy Bennett), Richard (Richard Dreyfuss) a suicidal gay man and Elena (Mia Maestro) a stowaway.

Together they navigate the upside down ship through fiery galleys, explosions above and below and most perilous of all some of the worst dialogue ever enunciated by professional actors in a major motion picture.

The first Poseidon had some serious cheeseball dialogue, especially from Ernest Borgnine and Stella Stevens as the bickering Roggo's, a pairing that has seen more than one brilliant send up on The Simpsons. Unfortunately even Borgnine and Stevens would be embarrassed by the kind of tripe served up as meaningful dialogue in the new Poseidon.

As an example, check the exchange between Richard Dreyfuss's inappropriately flamboyant Richard and Freddie Rodriguez's Marco as poor Marco is navigating a particularly dangerous corridor. Richard picks this moment, as fire and steam and a quickly falling apart bridge threaten poor Marco, to come flying out of the closet and hit on Marco. It's bad enough to make one wonder if Marco chose the fiery depths of the inflamed water over survival. 

The exchanges between Kurt Russell, usually quite reliable even in a garbage picture, and Josh Lucas are just as ludicrous. Listen as Dylan establishes his rebel persona as Russell asks the question we all want to know as the ship begins to sink "Don't you care about anyone other than yourself!". No he doesn't, except maybe Maggie aka the plot device love interest put in place to humanize him, as if a flipped over cruise ship just were not enough motivation.

As bad as Poseidon is, director Wolfgang Peterson is far too talented to make a film so bad it's good. Thus we get some very competent action scenes and some exceptional CGI effects. These elements add up to nothing except incongruity. The competence feels out of place amongst the shoddy whole of Poseidon.

Forget about the media garbage that the disaster in Poseidon is anything akin to the real life disaster of the tsunami or that the passengers' escape is anything akin to watching people flee the twin towers on 9/11. Poseidon is far from a cheeseball for that kind of analysis. Even a wry allusion to these real life disasters in comparison to Poseidon feels crass.

After watching Sony try to sell us Josh Lucas as the hero of Stealth last summer and now watching Josh in Poseidon I've come to the conclusion that Josh Lucas is the New Coke of action heroes. We never asked for him, we don't know where he came from, all we know is that when we went for the new Schwarzenegger or Gibson all we could find on the shelf was this guy.

It's not that Lucas is a bad actor, he was terrific in the little seen dramedy Around The Bend with Christopher Walken, it may just be that action hero is not his thing. Much like his near twin brother Matthew McConaughey, Lucas has that lackadaisical, laid back slacker thing going on. It's an affectation that just does not play in the macho genre but suits him well in movies like An Unfinished Life or his small role in A Beautiful Mind.

As for Kurt Russell in a better movie he could have been a very effective lead. Unfortunately, saddled with a script that gives him one note to play, protective father, he cannot escape the dreariness around him. For me he was the film's most entertaining player but only because during the many, many moments of boredom in Poseidon I would drift off and imagine what Snake Plissken would do on an upside down, exploding boat. I imagine there would be alot of killing and at least one scene of Snake lighting a cigar off of a flaming corpse. Call it Escape From The Exploding Upside Down Boat.

You know a movie stinks when you are dreaming of your own movie while watching it.

It is the rare disaster epic that makes you root for the disaster. Poseidon is that disaster epic.

Movie Review The Day After Tomorrow

The Day After Tomorrow (2004) 

Directed by Roland Emmerich

Written by Jeffrey Nachmanoff, Roland Emmerich

Starring Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Sela Ward, Ian Holm, Emmy Rossum

Release Date May 28th, 2004

Published May 27th, 2004 

Being a liberal Democrat and environmentalist, I am supposed to be excited that a major summer blockbuster is taking up a cause I care about.

I’m not.

I am not at all excited that a topic as important as global warming is getting the Hollywood treatment, especially from the director who brought us Godzilla. The Day After Tomorrow plays at being important in its marketing campaign only to cover up its utter goofiness as a movie.

Dennis Quaid stars as Jack Hall, everyman Paleoclimatologist with a thing for the end of humanity because of global warming. So into saving future generations from what he believes is a coming ice age, he has lost contact with his wife (Sela Ward) and his son Sam (Jake Gyllenhaal).

Jack spends most of his time with his partners Frank (Jay O. Sanders) and Jason (Dash Mihok) traveling the polar ice caps. Their most recent excursion uncovered something dangerously unexpected that proves Jack’s theory about the ice age. Unfortunately, when Jack pitches his theory at a conference in New Delhi India, he is blown off by the Vice President of the United States (Kenneth Walsh). The VP is more concerned about American wallets than the survival of the human race.

Of course, Jack’s theory applies to an ice age in say 100 years from now, which may be why the VP is less than impressed. Nevertheless, something good comes out of it when Jack meets Dr. Terry Rapson who will play an important role when Jack’s theory comes true much sooner than he expected.

Jack’s theory is that melting polar ice caps will cause the jetstream to stop delivering warm air to much of the Northern Hemisphere, leaving it a frozen wasteland. We are tipped to some serious trouble when Japan is hit with bricks of hail, Los Angeles is devastated by multiple tornadoes and New York City turns into a swimming pool.

More bad news for Jack, his son Sam along with some schoolmates, Brian (Arjay Smith) and Laura (Emmy Rossum) are in New York and trapped by the rising waters in the top floor of the New York Public Library. Now Jack and his team must trek through the rapidly freezing countryside from Washington DC to New York to save his son. Meanwhile, his ex-wife must decide whether to stay with a dying child and wait for a rescue that might not come or join the hordes of Americans heading for the safety and warmth of Mexico.

The film has a solid three act structure, act one the storm, act two the survival and act three the rescue. Of course, director Roland Emmerich who also wrote the film’s script, can’t resist throwing in extraneous touches like a boneheaded sendup of the Bush administration that even the most ardent Bush haters will roll their eyes at. The dying child I mentioned before, exists only to give Sela Ward something to do and is resolved with little drama.

And then there are the wolves. Yes, for some reason wolves have escaped from the New York Zoo and attack our heroes at the most opportune time.

Now the thing that is garnering the most attention about this film is its tenuous grasp of global warming and environmental issues. To the film’s credit, there is no mention of saving the planet, Emmerich has at least grasped the idea that saving the environment is not about the planet, it’s about saving human beings. That said, his ridiculous ideas about global warming, polar ice caps and so-called SUPER storms are more fiction than science.

There may indeed be an ice age in the future but that is part of the cyclical nature of the planet. There has been an ice age before and there will be one again, whether we cause it or not. There is little evidence we could cause it and that is where the film’s specious logic goes beyond its dramatized idea of a six day ice age and into the dangerous situation of casting a negative light on real environmental issues.

The fact is that a summer blockbuster is no place for such big ideas. Summer blockbusters are to dazzle the eye with cheap thrills and loud noises, if they can also be entertaining on top of that, it’s truly an accomplishment. This portentous idea of a blockbuster with global concerns only serves to denigrate those concerns by dragging them down to the level of the big, dumb, loud blockbuster.

On top of all those problems is that the film is just dull as dirt. While some of the special effects are impressive, every bit of character including the usually reliable Dennis Quaid and Jake Gyllenhaal are annoying, cloying caricatures of melodramatic TV drama characters. This is WB level drama, especially the group of misfits at the library.

The film is interminable halfway through, where the storm and the impressive effects are pretty well over. After that, the film’s atrocious dialogue must carry the day. At 2 hours plus, The Day After Tomorrow makes you wish it were really tomorrow and the movie was a distant memory.