Classic Movie Review Time Bandits

Time Bandits (1993)

Directed by Terry Gilliam

Written by Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin 

Starring John Cleese, Sean Connery, Shelley Duvall, Ian Holm, Craig Warnock 

Release Date July 2nd, 1981 

Published November 28th, 2023 

A young boy is lying in bed, fighting off sleep, but seemingly losing the fight. All of a sudden, a horse with a man in armor bursts out of his cupboard and leaps over his bed before riding off into the distance of his bedroom wall which has somehow become an ancient meadow. You naturally might assume that this is a dream sequence, a short nightmare perhaps. But director Terry Gilliam is toying with you. He has the parents come to the child's room immediately following the nightmare and, though the boy's room is suddenly back in order, the parents claimed he was making quite a lot of noise. They tell him to knock it off and go to bed. 

The following day, our hero, Kevin (Craig Warnock) is desperately eager to get back to bed. He's ready with a flashlight and a polaroid camera at hand in case the armored horseman returns. The Knight does not return but Kevin's bedroom is once again magically transformed. This time, a group of 6 little people carrying a magical map invade Kevin's bedroom and begin to wreak havoc. These six men are on the run from a God-like entity from whom, they have stolen a magical map of time. The map allows them to travel to places throughout world history where they can steal all the treasure they want. 

Naturally, Kevin gets caught up in the time travel chicanery as the bandits take him with them on their journey. The first stop is Italy where they land in the midst of the battle of Castiglione. Then it's off to meet Napoleon in France where they manage to get into Napoleon's inner circle simply because they are the only people Napoleon is taller than. Ian Holm plays Napoleon as a height obsessed goof whose idiocy leads to his new friends stealing his entire treasury. The bandits make a narrow escape with their stolen goods and land somewhere in England in the time of Robin Hood. 

Robin Hood is played by some a****** TERF who I will not name and he assumes that the Bandits treasure is their contribution to his cause, stealing from the rich to give to the poor. This sequence introduces a running gag involving Michael Palin and Shelley Duvall as the most unlucky reincarnated couple in human history. In Robin Hood's era they are robbed multiple times and left to die tied to a tree in their underwear. When we see them again, they are also on the brink of death on a historically doomed voyage. 

The most notable stop on their journey is Mycenaean Greece where King Agamemnon (Sean Connery) is found fighting a minotaur. Kevin is somehow alone, his bandit friends having been dropped somewhere else. With no other option, Kevin accompanies the King back to his palace where he is seemingly adopted by the King and really takes to the idea of staying in Greece and becoming royalty. That is until the bandits do arrive and steal Kevin away via there magical map for another strange and unexpected adventure. 

Click here for my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review: A Fish Called Wanda

 A Fish Called Wanda (1988) 

Directed by Charles Crichton

Written by John Cleese

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin, John Cleese

Release Date July 15th, 1988 

Published July 15th, 2018

It’s so strange, sometimes movies get a reputation for genius and you hear about it and hear about it and then you see it for yourself and you wind up wondering what all of the fuss was about. That’s the case for me with A Fish Called Wanda. Yes, I had seen the movie before, back when it was on HBO in the 90’s and I think that I tried very hard to like it as much as the critics of the time seemed to like it. I liked it so I could seem smart.

A Fish Called Wanda turns 30 years old this weekend and once again I watched with the aim of wanting to like it so I could seem smart. Only this time, I am mature and confident enough to say I simply didn’t care for it. A Fish Called Wanda just doesn’t work on me. I disliked the characters, I was barely amused by the gags and Kevin Kline’s Academy Award winning supporting performance, for me, came off as forced and shrill.

A Fish Called Wanda is a comic heist movie which stars Jamie Lee Curtis as Wanda, a woman who is dating a thief named Georges Thomas, played by Tom Georgeson, a gag funnier than most in the movie. Wanda is only setting Georges up so that she and her lover, Otto (Kevin Kline) can double cross him and their other partner, Ken (Michael Palin). Georges isn’t stupid however and to insure his cut, he hides the loot until he knows he’s clear, an idea that pays off when Otto secretly turns him, unaware of where the loot actually went. 

To figure out where the loot is hidden, Wanda and Otto begin a convoluted plan surrounding Georges’ barrister, Archie Leach (John Cleese). The hope is that Otto will give Archie the location of the loot as a way to reduce his sentence after he is caught. The plan is for Wanda to seduce Archie to get him to reveal the location of the loot so that they can steal it back and leave the country. Things take a turn when Wanda develops a soft spot for Archie.

A Fish Called Wanda was directed by Charles Crichton, sort of. Though John Cleese claimed to have put his name on the co-director credit in order to allay studio fears about the fact that Crichton hadn’t worked in 23 years and was in his mid-80’s, it appears from on-set stories from Curtis and Kline that Cleese was the creative force. It was Cleese who came up with the memorable running gags about Wanda’s fetish for foreign languages and Otto’s insecurity about being called stupid.

 There are other Cleese-ian touches as well such as Archie having a wife and the two of them having separate beds ala his character on the famed British television series Fawlty Towers. Regardless of who is responsible however, not much of anything in A Fish Called Wanda got a laugh out of me. Whether it’s the door slamming, Noises-Off style gags of people running in and out of rooms and weaving elaborate lies when caught in the wrong place at the wrong time or the almost nihilistic approach to right and wrong, I found nothing appealing about A Fish Called Wanda.

The characters in A Fish Called Wanda are all terrible people, and that includes Palin’s Ken who, though he may feel guilty about a few of his evil deeds, is nevertheless as terrible as anyone else and has arguably the most notable body count in the movie, if you count dogs. The gags involving the elaborate ways in which Ken accidentally murders an old ladies three dogs is some of the ugliest humor I can recall in a supposed comedy.

We are supposed to like Ken because Palin plays him as a simpleton, a dupe who thinks he's helping his friend but is blundering his way into crime. We are supposed to either sympathize with or find funny his stuttering but it only engenders a sad sort of pity that is far from funny. A scene where Palin and Cleese finally share the screen comes late in the film, as we've anticipated seeing the Python guys together, and the scene is a wretchedly excessive scene of Palin struggling with his stutter and Cleese becoming more and more explosively irritated while trying to stay calm. There is no gag here other than Palin's stutter and it's never funny, merely insensitive. 

A Fish Called Wanda presumes its own sophistication. The filmmakers and stars appear as if they should be erudite, sophisticated players in a farce but somehow the film never earns a laugh. I shouldn’t say never, I was amused a few times, such as when Cleese dances about spouting Russian phrases while Jamie Lee Curtis writhes in ecstasy but the amusement was tempered and rare.

In his 1988 review of A Fish Called Wanda, Roger Ebert says “One of its strengths is its mean-spiritedness” and I could not disagree more. I don’t find the mean-spiritedness of A Fish Called Wanda to be a strength. It’s my least favorite thing about the movie. I don’t enjoy these odious characters and their greed and I especially don’t care for the ending that rewards each of them in some strange way.

I revere Roger Ebert which explains why, nearly 30 years ago, I watched A Fish Called Wanda and desperately attempted to like it. I wanted to seem cool to a man I would never meet. I wanted to impress this idol who didn’t know I existed via some transference of psychic energy; as if the universe might inform my hero that I was no ordinary teenage movie fan, I was a teenage movie fan who liked A Fish Called Wanda.

I still revere Roger Ebert, his writing will influence me for my lifetime but as an older man I find myself able to politely disagree. While Roger enjoyed this movie, I loathed it. I didn’t enjoy the mean-spiritedness because the characters weren’t pleasant or entertaining enough to earn it. I don’t mind a mean character winning in the end if they are charming or interesting enough and they are perhaps thumbing their nose at some societal ill. But when characters are just terrible because being terrible gets them what they want, I lose interest.

The characters of A Fish Called Wanda aren’t charming, their ugly. I don’t mind that they are criminals, I mind that they aren’t interesting or funny criminals. I don’t mind that they are killers or thieves, I mind that they aren’t charming or silly or funny killers and thieves. The characters appear as if they and what they are doing should be funny and yet I don’t laugh. I dislike these characters and thus they never become funny.

Movie Review Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983) 

Directed by Terry Jones

Written by Monty Python

Starring Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Jones, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam

Release Date March 31st, 1983

Published March 31st 2013 

I have a horrible confession to make, I've never really been into Monty Python. I know, I know, anyone who considers themselves a serious fan of comedy tends to be into Monty Python but I've never really invested the time necessary to master the basics of Python's absurdist sketch comedy.

Sure, I can appreciate "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" but only as much as it reminds me of a more absurd version of a Mel Brooks comedy. It was with this in mind that I sat down for a 30th Anniversary look at "Monty Python's Meaning of Life" and once again I came away with a vague appreciation mixed with a bit of revulsion and a touch of confusion.

A Sketch Movie

'Meaning of Life' isn't so much a movie, in the traditional sense of the word, as it a collection of all new, in 1983 anyway, Python material reminiscent of the popular TV series that spawned the legendary comedy troupe. These however, are preceded by a wonderfully bizarre and oddly still trenchant today riff on corporate accountants called "The Crimson Permanent Assurance."

This 17 minute short film follows a group of accountants treated as slaves to their adding machines until the geezers decide to rebel. Once having seized the accounting firm they pull up anchor, hoist the main sail and suddenly the stodgy old English building is a working pirate ship enroute to a swanky financial district seeking the most hostile of takeovers.

Even today so-called Corporate 'Raiders' remain the pirates of Wall Street pillaging any company they choose and doing bloody battle with any company that stands in their way. The fact that so little has seemed to change in 30 years is disturbing and yet it adds an even greater tickle to this already delightful short satire.

Why Are We Here?

From there we are thrust into the Python troupe's sorta-kinda examination of the meaning of life, i.e 'Why are here?' ("At this restaurant?" "No sir, on this planet") First up for satire is the miracle of birth from different ends of the socio-economic ladder. On one end a woman finds herself almost ignored by doctors, played by Graham Chapman and John Cleese, more interested in playing with high end medical gadgets than in delivering her baby.

On the other end of the spectrum a poor bloke played by Michael Palin has just lost his job at the mill and must break it to his several dozen children that many of them will have to be given up for medical experimentation. This is merely the jumping off point for a soft-hearted satire of Catholics and the Church's illogical stance on birth control via the song via the not-so subtle tune "Every Sperm is Sacred."

The opening bit is tagged with another satire, this time of Protestants, played by Chapman and Eric Idle, as protestants who mock the Catholic stance on birth control yet never seem to take advantage of the birth control freedoms the clueless Chapman praises in volume and in variety as his wife listens ever to be disappointed.

Stiff Upper Lips and other Such Things

Further portions of 'The Meaning of Life' tackle learning from the perspective of a fearful Catholic school that teaches an abiding fear of God's wrath alongside a very liberal idea of sex education. Later the subject of War is lampooned with a joyously violent birthday celebration amidst the chaos of World War 1 and a tribute to the ever stiff upper lips of the English Officer Class.

Though these segments earn solid chuckles they are the least connected to the themes of 'Meaning of Life' and a brief break in the middle of the movie, actually called "The Middle of the Movie," seems to acknowledge the lack of connection while the following scene 'Middle Age' quickly moves to excuse it by openly mentioning how disconnected the film is from the title.

Not that formalism is on order for "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life." Directed by the wildly brilliant and unpredictable Terry Gilliam and fellow Python Terry Jones, 'Meaning of Life' as a title is merely a marketing tactic meant to tie together the Python's many bright sketch ideas and a few less bright ideas.

Mr. Creosote

Least among the sketches in "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life" is one that opens Part 6 "The Autumn Years." I can recall friends and comedians referencing someone called 'Mr. Creosote' and having no idea what the reference was about. Now having witnessed 'Mr. Creosote' for myself I am re-evaluating my friends and idols.

The sketch involves an exceptionally large man, played director Jones, dining at a fancy restaurant and repeatedly projectile vomiting onto anything and anyone in range. I get the joke, it comes from the sheer lunacy of the large man and his extraordinary amount of vomit but knowing that doesn't make me laugh. The premise is flawed and the denouement of the large man exploding after eating a tiny after dinner mint is a mere ripoff of an Warner Bros. cartoon writ with more gore.

I did however, enjoy the final sketch "Death." It begins with a wildly inappropriate and terrifically funny sketch about a condemned man, Chapman, allowed to choose his method of death. I won't spoil this part as it truly deserves to be seen; I will only say that I might choose such a method death were I in a similarly absurd condemnation.

So, after thirty years, do I recommend "Monty Python's The Meaning of Life?" Yes and no. Yes, I recommend it for the truly curious who want to know more about the legendary Monty Python. However, because of 'Mr. Creosote' and another rather gory sketch involving forced liver donations, I must advise those with weak stomachs to pass on 'The Meaning of Life.'