Movie Review The Bounty Hunter

The Bounty Hunter (2010) 

Directed by Andy Tennant

Written by Sarah Thorp

Starring Jennifer Aniston, Gerard Butler

Release Date March 19th, 2010

Published March 18th, 2010

Leave it to a movie as utterly insane and forgettable as The Bounty Hunter to make me search my critical soul. Though it is more likely a case of coincidental timing, I find myself reviewing this ludicrous Jennifer Aniston/Gerard Butler action comedy at a time when the world of film criticism is in turmoil.

Recently, top flight critics have been losing their jobs and that has led to a good deal of hand wringing, soul searching and a number of eulogies for professional criticism. For me, this conversation about the state of my business, the thing I truly love doing, writing about the movies, has me considering what kind of critic I am, what purpose I serve.

So many people over the years have asked me why I can't just watch a movie and leave it at that. My answer to that is that I love conversation and what better inspires conversation than a good or bad movie. I review movies to be part of a conversation that has, thanks to the web, spread across the world.

My theory about the movies is that they should do something to improve the lives of the people giving up their money and time to see them. When I feel that a film has failed to aspire to anything more than its own completion I get angry and that is where a bad review comes from.

A good review comes when I find something valuable in the experience. Whether the film is merely a passing entertainment or something that can transform the way we look at the world, each has in its way improved our lives if only for a minute or for the rest of our time on earth.

Some critics write because they like the sound of their own voice in their head as they type. Ok, all critics like that. I hope that I myself aspire to something more than my own self satisfaction. I hope that people read my words and am inspired to offer their own interpretation. If I can inspire a conversation, I feel that I have accomplished something.

With that, let's have a very brief conversation about The Bounty Hunter, a brainless, witless waste of screen time starring Gerard Butler and Jennifer Aniston. The inane story has Aniston's journalist blowing off court for a story and having a warrant issued for her arrest.

The warrant ends up in the hands of her ex-husband, a former cop turned bounty hunter who cannot believe his luck in getting to arrest his ex-wife. That's the joke. A dopey formerly married guy gets to arrest his ex-wife. It's a literal take on the old 'Take My Wife... Please,' vaudeville and the movie feels even older and creakier than a vaudeville routine. 

I hate wasting another word on the career decline of Jennifer Aniston but I must mention that, take away Marley and Me which was a minor pleasure, she has now starred in four movies that are not merely bad, they are dreadful. He's Just Not That Into You, Management, Love Happens and The Bounty Hunter comprise, arguably, the ugliest resume this side of Rob Schneider. 

As for Mr. Butler, Hollywood's continuing attempt to convince us he is a star fails miserably once again. On the heels of The Ugly Truth, Gamer and Law Abiding Citizen comes The Bounty Hunter as further proof that big pecs, a lopsided smile and an accent are apparently all it takes to be a movie star these days. 

I

 apologize for my snark. But as I was saying earlier, in my soul searching moments, I feel my time and yours is valuable and these two actors and this director have wasted more of my life than many others have. The Bounty Hunter inspired me to think about why I became a critic and why I love writing about movies. It happened to come along at a time when critics across the country are debating their role in the culture. 

My role, I feel, is to have this written conversation with you, dear reader, about a movie that I truly hated and why I hated it and why the actors involved have become such a burden to me. You can choose to ignore this conversation or engage in it. Here's hoping our next conversation will be about a movie we both love.

Movie Review: Fool's Gold

Fool's Gold (2008)

Directed by Andy Tennant

Written by Daniel Zelman 

Starring Matthew McConaughey, Kate Hudson, Donald Sutherland, Alexis Dziena

Release Date February 8th, 2008 

Published February 7th, 2008

Pirates, treasure, gangsters, guns. For the guys? Kate Hudson in a tiny bikini. For the ladies? Matthew McConaughey with no shirt on. The comedy Fool's Gold seems to have everything a movie needs to be a major success. So why does it suck out loud? It's probably because the movie doesn't add up to much more than that checklist of things that I, and I am sure some movie marketing department, just listed. 

Fool's Gold stars McConaughey as Finn, a professional treasure hunter. Living in the Bahamas Finn spends his days in the crystal blue waters seeking shipwrecks containing unimaginable wealth all the while dodging creditors, loan sharks and lawyers, all of whom he owes something to. The lawyers were at first just process servers but once he was served they became divorce attorneys. Finn's wife Tess (Kate Hudson) is finished with his dreams of treasure. She wants a normal life back in Chicago where she can attend school and get her degree in history.

Needless to say, being married to Finn has been a barrier to her goals. Now, as the divorce is being completed he still manages to be a barrier. Incurring  more debt and crossing some pretty severe gangsters, Finn costs Tess the chance to return to Chicago by accidentally blowing up the boat they own, the one she was selling for money to go back to school.

Left with no options she takes a gig working for a wealthy industrialist (Donald Sutherland) on his yacht. His name is Nigel Honeycutt and he is looking for adventure as a way of getting the attention of his daughter Gemma (Alexis Dziena). He finds just the thing when Finn arrives at the boat offering the opportunity to find some legendary Spanish gold.

No points for guessing Tess and Finn fight, make love, fight again and then walk off into the sunset happily ever after. That ending was coming the moment Hudson and McConaughey were cast in Fool's Gold. The only chance Fool's Gold has of being entertaining beyond the gorgeous Bahamian landscapes was to find interesting ways to tweak the form.

Director Andy Tennant is a master of formulaic junk, his last film was Hitch with Will Smith. It was Tennant who crystallized the absolute worst sins of the romantic comedy genre with his abysmal Sweet Home Alabama. Fool's Gold is right up his alley in terms of formula junk. Choosing to follow every expected scene, every predictable plot strand, every manufactured pre-packaged joke, Tennant crafts a movie so predictable you could set your watch by it. Interestingly, Tennant is a not a bad directorial craftsman. Say what you will about his inability to escape formula, he knows how to craft and cut a movie.

The landscapes, the scenery, the Bahamian settings of Fool's Gold are utterly gorgeous and were no doubt a welcome respite from the winter when this film was initially released. As it reaches DVD this summer Fool's Gold may actually inspire a few vacation choices. Unfortunately, movies can't skate on visuals alone. When looked at as a movie, Fool's Gold is far too predictable to be entertaining. Tennant and his cast do absolutely nothing to vary the format, to give the material enough of a twist to differentiate it from a dozen similar movies.

In that way, Fool's Gold floats by and disappears leaving no impression whatsoever. Harmless? Yes, but why would you want to pay for this experience on DVD or otherwise. You'd be better off watching Into The Blue on cable, Blue Crush, or Captain Ron. Each of these films while differing in plot and cast offer the same experience of white sand beaches, buff beach bodies and crystal blue waters. It really doesn't matter which one you watch, it's the same forgettable experience.

If you have the money, you might as well just go to Jamaica.

Movie Review Hitch

Hitch (2005) 

Directed by Andy Tennant

Written by Kevin Bisch

Staring Will Smith, Eva Mendes, Kevin James, Amber Valetta, Michael Rappaport, Adam Arkin

Release Date February 11th, 2005

Published February 9th, 2005

With his wit, style and natural charisma it's a wonder Will Smith waited this long to master the romantic comedy genre. In fact it's been five years, the ill-received drama The Legend Of Bagger Vance, since Smith has done a film without a weapon in his hand and an explosion at his back. Not since his breakthrough on TV's "Fresh Prince Of Bel Air" has Smith done anything close to a straight comedy. With his latest film Hitch, Smith shows that while practice may make perfect some just don't need it.

In New York City there is an urban legend about a guy so charming that he has taken to teaching other men to emulate his charms. This legend is known as the Date Doctor and while most don't believe he exists, he does in the form of Alex Hitchens, known as Hitch to his clients. The Date Doctor guarantees he can help any guy get any girl in three dates or less. Don't get the wrong idea, Hitch won't help a guy with a one night stand, only serious relationship-seekers need apply.

Oddly enough, the man who has made obtaining love for others his life does not believe in love for himself. That is until Hitch meets Sara (Eva Mendes), a cynical gossip columnist who ironically does not believe the Date Doctor exists. From her dates with Hitch she has no reason to believe it could be him as one disaster after the next intervenes to ruin each date. For some reason Hitch's natural charm fails him at every turn in terrifically disastrous romantic comedy fashion.

Because Sara doesn't believe there is such a person as a Date Doctor you have your natural romantic comedy obstacle: how will she react to finding out her new boyfriend is this mystical Date Doctor. First she has to find out and that is where Albert (Kevin James from TV's "King Of Queens") comes in. Albert is a lovable but socially inept accountant who has fallen head over heels for a supermodel named Allegra Cole (Amber Valletta). With Hitch's help Albert manages to get a date with Allegra which catches the attention of the gossip columnist and our plot kicks in.

Hitch is not exactly original in execution. The film has many, if not all, of the classic romantic comedy cliches. Director Andy Tennant knows those cliches backwards and forwards.  They are his bread and butter from the awful, cliche ridden Reese Witherspoon comedy Sweet Home Alabama to the slightly less repulsive Matthew Perry-Salma Hayek rom-com Fools Rush In. Tennant directs as if he has never known another way to tell a story.

What makes Hitch stand apart from other romantic comedies is star Will Smith and his love interest, the smoldering and sexy Eva Mendes. Where previous couplings in films directed by Andy Tennant have fizzled under the weight of his heavy handed direction, Smith and Mendes manage to float above the commonness of the film. They are helped greatly by James, who does much of the comic heavy lifting. With James shouldering the burden of the more tiresome and forced comic moments, Smith and Mendes are free to turn up the romantic heat with their sparkling chemistry.

Hitch is what it is-- genre fluff that succeeds, like all modern romantic comedies, on the star power of its cast and their ability to transcend even the most damningly familiar plot elements. Will Smith is more than star enough for the task.

Movie Review Sweet Home Alabama

Sweet Home Alabama (2002)

Directed by Andy Tennant 

Written by C Jay Cox 

Starring Reese Witherspoon, Josh Lucas, Patrick Dempsey, Candace Bergen, Fred Ward, Jean Smart

Release Date September 27th, 2002

Published September 24th, 2002 

In Legally Blonde, Reese Witherspoon showed herself to be the romantic comedy heiress apparent to Julia Roberts. With her perky good looks and sugary sweetness offset by a wonderfully mischievous smile it was impossible not to fall in love with her. Witherspoon brings those same qualities to her latest film, Sweet Home Alabama, but under the direction of Andy Tennent the same qualities that made you love her in Legally Blonde make you loathe her in this dense retread of every romantic comedy ever made.

In Alabama Reese has one of those great Hollywood lives where everything is perfect: perfect job, perfect friends, perfect man, just perfect. As Melanie Carmichael, Reese is a New York fashion designer about to marry the son of New York’s Mayor. Patrick Dempsey plays the perfect guy, Andrew, just going through the motions playing the same role Bill Pullman played in Sleepless in Seattle. No matter how good a guy he is, the trailer has already explained his fate.

After Andrew asks Melanie to marry him, Melanie has to go home to Alabama to take care of the small detail of her current husband Jake (Josh Lucas). In flashback we are treated to the scene when Jake and Melanie fell in love, they were struck by lightning as the shared their first kiss. Watching this scene my eyes rolled so far back I could see the dull faces of the people directly behind me. You can say I’m cynical but haven’t we seen this exact seen or something very similar at least a thousand times? Melanie and Jake’s bad sitcom style arguing is just one of a million tip offs that they will back together at the end of the film.

Having returned to her home town for the first time in 7 years Melanie takes time to revisit her old friends including Bobby Ray (Ethan Embry) who has a secret only Melanie knows about, the kind of secret that stereotypical southerners don’t react well to. There is also Melanie’s former best friend Lurlynn (Melanie Lynskie) who now has three kids including a newborn she takes to the bar as so many southerners are prone to do. Let us not forget Melanie’s parents Fred Ward and Mary Kay Place, who don’t so much fit into the role of stereotypical Southern parents that everyone in the audience assumed they would be.

So golly, do you think Melanie’s unusual southern friends and family will clash with her high class New York would be in laws?

Poor Candace Bergen, this wonderfully talented Emmy winning actress is stuck with the film's most thankless role. As the ever scowling and disapproving mother-in-law, Bergen is never allowed to smile, never allowed to joke. The purpose of Bergen’s Mayor of New York and mother of the groom is to be the bitch so at the end of the movie she can get her comeuppance in what is supposed to make the audience cheer.

That is the essence of the problem with Sweet Home Alabama, every scene has been filmed with the purpose of exerting a particular response from the audience. It is as if every scene in the film was individually test screened by demographic to make sure it illicited the correct audience response.

Like a romantic comedy machine, Sweet Home Alabama grinds through it’s mechanical plot, perfectly calibrated to meet exactly what the audience expects. The film is so predictable even lines of dialogue can be anticipated. Scenes are setup ten to twenty minutes ahead so, rather than watch the movie, I was sitting and waiting for the expected payoff and like clockwork I didn’t have to wait long for it in exactly the way I expected.

Sweet Home Alabama is the latest film to exhibit my biggest movie pet peeve. A film based on seemingly intelligent characters making intensely dumb decisions because if they didn’t, there wouldn’t be a movie. Not a frame of film goes by that Melanie doesn’t have an opportunity to solve all her problems with one intelligent decision. One line of intelligent dialogue and problem solved, movie over.

Sweet Home Alabama is an awful film and I had very low expectations for this film. I expected to laugh a couple times, fall in love with Reese Witherspoon again and leave the theater with a smile on my face. Instead I walked out depressed after seeing a film that illustrates everything that is wrong modern Hollywood film-making. This is yet another film that had a poster before it had a screenplay. A film where marketing execs made the creative decisions and hired creative people to carry out the vision of the publicity department. Director Andy Tennent was likely instructed to simply make Reese look cute and hope that the writers might squeeze in a sight gag or one liner somewhere, spoiler alert: they didn’t.

To steal a line from my hero Roger Ebert I hated, hated, hated this movie. This film does not improve upon the sight of a blank screen viewed for the same length of time. I still love Reese Witherspoon, but only because I watched Legally Blonde. Had I not, I might curse her for having made this film. Hollywood has no shame churning out the same drivel month after month. And I know what you're saying and yes I shouldn’t act so surprised but I honestly believe that there is art out there somewhere, Sweet Home Alabama dims that hope slightly but that dream is still there.