Movie Review Maybe I Do

Maybe I Do (2023) 

Directed by Michael Jacobs 

Written by Michael Jacobs 

Starring Diane Keaton, Richard Gere, William H. Macy, Susan Sarandon, Emma Roberts 

Release Date January 27th, 2023

Published January 28th, 2023

Somewhere there is a dusty shelf that someone cleaning that hadn't been cleaned since 1994. On that shelf was a script for a truly awful romantic comedy called Maybe I Do. To whomever failed to leave this script on that dusty, forgotten shelf is a truly cruel human being. The script for Maybe I Do belongs on an ash heap, not on a big screen. This insipid throwback to awful boomer politics of the time when their opinion of popular culture mattered, is a relic of a time when men made jokes about hating their wives and wives joked about their husband's inability to satisfy them sexually. Ugh! 

That this insipid film stars Diane Keaton is seemingly inevitable. The once great actress has an uncanny ability to find the absolute worst movies that play to her worst instincts as an actress. How a woman with this much talent manages to choose the worst movies is some kind of cosmic joke. Keaton's last 20 plus years include some of the worst movies of this young century and Maybe I Do belongs to that epic, awful canon of the worst of the worst. 

In Maybe I Do, Diane Keaton plays a married woman whose idea of lying to her husband, Richard Gere, is going to the movies by herself. Meanwhile, her terrible husband is off having sex with his sort of mistress played by Susan Sarandon. Gere hates Sarandon and lets her know that in no uncertain terms. She still wants to have sex with him. When he finally decides to end things with her, basically stating how much he hates her, Sarandon says she will kill him if she sees him again. Plot point! 

Meanwhile, while at her elicit movie, Keaton meets a sadsack played by an actor who embodies that term all too well, Wiilliam H. Macy. Seeing Macy crying his eyes out over whatever movie they were watching; Keaton takes pity to comfort him. This leads them to spend the evening together but not in the way you think. They do go and get a hotel but it's only so that they can watch TV, eat fried chicken, and talk about the misery of their loves with their miserable spouses. 

You get no points for guessing that Keaton's spouse is Gere and that Macy's spouse is Sarandon. Making this convoluted nonsense even more convoluted is the other plot of Maybe I Do. At a wedding between their closest friends, Emma Roberts and Luke Bracey appear to be a very happy couple. Then, Bracey sees Roberts about to catch the bouquet and he loses his ever-loving mind. Racing across the room, he leaps off of a table and catches the bouquet right out of his girlfriend's hands. 

Find my full length review linked here at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Hotel for Dogs

Hotel for Dogs (2009) 

Directed by Thor Freudenthal 

Written by Jeff Lowell, Mark McCorkle, Bob Schooley

Starring Emma Roberts, Jake T. Austin, Lisa Kudrow, Kevin Dillon, Don Cheadle

Release Date January 16th, 2009 

Published January 19th, 2009 

Is there any hotter movie star in the world right now than the pooch? Dogs are a big box office hit these days. From the Beverly Hills Chihuahua to the animated Bolt to the box office king Marley, the dog is boffo box office. The latest example of doggie dominance, Hotel For Dogs, hasn't lit up the box office quite as well as its predecessors but it's coming around, hence why I have gone back to actually complete this review.

Hotel For Dogs tells the story of an orphan brother and sister, Bruce (Jake T. Austin) and Andi (Emma Roberts). They are a pair of troublemakers who make trouble to get out of bad foster homes. The latest one has them living with a pair of wannabe rock stars, (Lisa Kudrow and Kevin Dillon) who refuse to feed them anything but scraps and cereal.

They are scheming a way out until their kind, caring social worker  Bernie (Don Cheadle) tells them they will be separated if they can't make this home work. The biggest obstacle for Bruce and Andi is hiding their beloved pup Friday, a gift from their late parents.

One day, when Friday runs away, Bruce and Andi track him down in a rundown hotel where several other dogs are hiding out from the no good dog catchers. Bruce and Andi decide that all the dogs need to be cared for and using his wizard-like skill with gadgets, Bruce begins building ways for the dogs to get help when they can't be there.

Meanwhile, Andi befriends Dave (Johnny Simmons), a boy who works in a local pet store. He and his friend Heather (Kyla Pratt) agree to help out and provide the puppy chow and all four agree that there are other stray dogs out there that need their help and a caring roof over their heads. The Hotel For Dogs is born.

Are there any cheaper ways to achieve sentimentality than orphans and puppies? Really? Director Thor Freudenthal and crew have built a gadget of a movie meant to play on any and all sympathies. Surprise, surprise, it works. Sure, it's cheap, tacky and sentimental but Hotel For Dogs is also undeniably sweet, cute and fun.

Emma Roberts is a winning little star with a big bright smile and energy to burn. She is the perfect heroine for a movie like this, combining the innocence and gumption needed to keep the movie from becoming treacly. Jake T. Austin is also perfect casting. The star of Disney's Wizards Waverly Place could play this role with his eyes closed; everything about Hotel For Dogs matches the modern Disney model of pre-teen live action TV shows like Wizards, I-Carly or Hannah Montana.

Sweet without being cloying and sentimental without being pushy, Hotel For Dogs is great family entertainment built to make dog owners cry and everyone else just say awww.

Movie Review Scream 4

Scream 4 (2011) 

Directed by Wes Craven

Written by Kevin Williamson

Starring Neve Campbell, David Arquette, Courtney Cox, Emma Roberts, Hayden Panettiere

Release Date April 15th, 2011

Published April 14th, 2011 

The original "Scream" in 1996 transformed a moribund genre. Horror had grown stale and predictable when "Scream" arrived and with its mix of horror movie inside jokes, ironic asides and better than average scares reinvented horror movies; giving the genre back the edge it lost with the 5th or 6th time Jason Voorhees came back from the dead and then went to space.

"Scream 2" had similar juice as the first; cleverly twisting the conventions of goofy horror sequels and using them to create laughs before dousing the humor with blood and screams. The third film lost the thread by going so far inside itself that neither the laughs nor the scares could escape.

Now we have "Scream 4" which picks up the action 10 years after the story of "Scream 3" and you have to wonder why Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) would ever go back to Woodsboro. Sure, she still has family there, her Aunt Kate (Mary McDonnell) and teenage cousin Jill (Emma Roberts) but still, going back to so much history and on the anniversary of the original killings no less, seems like a really bad idea.

Indeed, it is a bad idea as just before Sidney arrives two Woodsboro teens are killed while watching the movie 'Stab 7' based on the books by Gale Weathers (Courtney Cox) on the Woodsboro killings. Well, to be fair, as one of the soon to be murdered teens points out, the first three 'Stab' movies were based on the books; the next 4 were pale imitations of the first that even had Ghostface as a time traveler.

Back to Sidney, she has written a self help book based on her recovery from the trauma of surviving three separate mass murders. She has come back to Woodsboro at the behest of her publicist (Alison Brie) who can't wait to call the publishing company to tell them about the murders that she knows will spike sales of Sidney's book. Her bloodthirstiness is more of a commentary on modern marketing practice than any kind of clue to her being more of a character in this movie. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

Movie Review Nancy Drew

Nancy Drew (2007) 

Directed by Andrew Fleming 

Written by Tiffany Paulsen 

Starring Emma Roberts, Josh Fitter, Max Thieriot, Rachel Leigh Cook, Laura Herring, Bruce Willis

Release Date June 15th, 2007 

Published June 16th, 2007 

In 1930 a prolific author by the name of Carolyn Keene launched a new character, a young female detective named Nancy Drew. What's interesting about that is that Carolyn Keene was just as fictional as her now famous creation. The mysterious Ms. Keene was the moniker created by the Stratemeyer syndicate, a low budget bookseller responsible for dozens of young adult titles of the 1930's all under the same fictional authors name.

Regardless of her creation by committee origins, the character of Nancy Drew resonated with young girls and has maintained a unique place in popular culture for more than 75 years. Now as she gets her big budget Hollywood treatment Nancy suffers from a lack of any particular vision, let alone one by committee.

Emma Roberts takes on the legend of the teenage trouble seeking sleuth Nancy Drew. Dressed in fifties finest, plaid dress, knee socks and penny loafers, Nancy is the picture of nerdy sweetness. Underneath that nerdy exterior is an endless curiosity that has led her on numerous adventures. The latest had her smack dab in the middle of a hostage situation that she manages to diffuse with her charm and good humor.

Though her latest adventure is a success, her dad Carter (Tate Donovan) is none too happy about the dangerous situation. Thus why he has imposed a no sleuthing rule for their upcoming, temporary move to California. This puts Nancy in a tough spot, she has a new mystery waiting for her at their new California mansion, a home once owned by a movie star who may have been murdered.

Can Nancy sleuth behind dad's back and figure out who killed the dead starlet, played in flashback by Laura Elena Herring, or will she find herself in even more trouble. Meanwhile Nancy must also adjust to a new school and new friends including a lecherous 13 year old named Corky (Josh Flitter) whose crush on Nancy leads him to becoming her sidekick. Then there is Nancy's hometown crush Ned (Max Thierot) who makes an appearance in California just in time to help solve the case.

Nancy Drew is a quaint throwback with modern ambitions. The film has the feel of a live action Disney flick from the sixties, a lighthearted, kid safe sort of goofiness that pervades those films is featured all throughout Nancy Drew with just a touch of Scooby Doo thrown in for good measure. The problems come when director Andrew Fleming, who co-wrote the script with Tiffany Paulsen, tries to hip up the story for modern audiences.

Nancy Drew kind of works when they are working the old school charms of the sleuthing teen. When the movie tries to be modern however, we get painful examples of how out of touch director Fleming is. Examples like the performance of Daniella Monet. Saddled with the role of Nancy's bully, Monet is a painful to watch caricature of a modern teenage girl.

Seemingly cobbled together from episodes of MTV's prurient My Super Sweet 16, Monet's Inga puts the brakes on the film's charm with unnecessary nastiness and unfunny attempts at what I assume is a parody of the kind of teen who would adopt Paris Hilton as a role model. Nothing against Ms. Monet who is a lovely young actress, I'm sure no one could pull off a role this ill-conceived.

When the film isn't failing with its modernisms it gets simply sloppy. A scene where Nancy takes her visiting boyfriend to a Chinese restaurant is an insulting embarrassment to Asian Americans and the midwesterner for whom the boyfriend is a stand in.

Other scenes where Nancy attempts to show her resourcefulness are bizarrely illogical. Two scenes where characters are choking to death feature Nancy first attempting mouth to mouth on the victim and then performing an emergency tracheotomy. Has she never learned the heimlich maneuver?

Despite the bizarre and the illogical elements of Nancy Drew, star Emma Roberts flies above the problem, nearly overcoming them, with easy charm and boundless energy. The offspring of Eric Roberts and niece of Julia, Emma has inherited her aunt's gift of a winning smile and the ability to win over an audience on spunk alone.

If only the rest of the film could match her delightfulness. Unfortunately, the film surrounding her is simply a mess. Predictable to an irritating point, Nancy Drew unfolds with a quick pace but unravels even quicker as the central mystery is solved about half way through the film's 90 minute runtime. Poor Emma Roberts then must pretend that Nancy doesn't know what we in the audience have long figured out.

Nancy Drew is not a great movie but for the target audience it's inoffensive and cheery with a good heart. Emma Roberts isn't exactly a revelation but there are many indications that she will have a very bright future. With her bright smile and seemingly boundless energy you can see the leading lady qualities that won her this role and why her presence was so reassuring to producers that they were planning sequels well in advance of this film's release.

Those sequels are unlikely after the film failed to open well, but that should not prevent young Ms Roberts from becoming a very big star in the future.