Movie Review Haunted Mansion

Haunted Mansion (2023) 

Directed by Justin Simien 

Written by Katie Dippold 

Starring LaKeith Stanfield, Rosario Dawson, Tiffany Haddish, Owen Wilson, Danny Devito, Chase W. Dillon, Jared Leto, Jamie Lee Curtis 

Release Date July 28th, 2023 

Published July 31st, 2023 

There is a lovely idea at the heart of Haunted Mansion that gets lost among the muck of trying to make a wide appeal blockbuster family movie. At the core of Haunted Mansion, director Justin Simien, creator of the ingenious, Dear White People, appears fascinated by the concept of grief and the ways it manifests in negative ways for many people. Losing someone you love is a life altering event, it can lead to any number of negative manifestations if it is not dealt with and processed in a healthy fashion. It manifests in Haunted Mansion via LaLeith Stanfield's Ben, an astrophysicist who gave up everything after his young wife died. 

Stanfield is unquestionably an actor who can handle this kind of heavy material but the heavy nature of Haunted Mansion unfortunately drags on what is otherwise intended to be a summer blockbuster version of a Disney theme park ride. While Simien is working in the emotional space of Stanfield's grieving widower, the rest of the movie appears to be going for something broad, campy, scary and yet family friendly and the tonal dissonance is a big part of the overall failure of Haunted Mansion. By attempting to serve a number of ideas, the film ends up serving none of those ideas particularly well. 

Ben (Stanfield) was once a very successful and happy Astrophysicist shyly using his unique profession to hit on women. One of those women is Alyssa (Charity Jordan), a tour guide who leads haunted tours through New Orleans. Ben, being a man of science, doesn't believe in ghosts but he still falls hard for Alyssa and the two end up getting married at some point, we don't see that part. What we do see is that Alyssa is no longer with us, a mystery that will be unsatisfyingly resolved later in the film, and Ben is floundering. Having given up all aspects of his previous life, Ben now leads Alyssa's tours while drunk and being entirely uninterested in indulging and any notions of ghosts being real. 

Ben's trajectory is altered forever by the arrival of Father Kent (Owen Wilson). Kent knows Ben by reputation. He knows that Ben had, years earlier, invented a camera that could theoretically, take pictures of the dead. He has a job for Ben. A single mother, Gabbie (Rosario Dawson), has moved into a decrepit mansion on the outskirts of New Orleans. Gabbie, and her son, Travis (Chase W. Dillon), are also dealing with the fairly recent loss of Travis' father, a loss that neither mother or son has fully processed. The parallel of both Ben and Gabbie having lost someone is used as something of a shorthand to bring them together as love interests but the love story feels rushed and forced. 

That's the thing about Haunted Mansion, I am this far into this review and I haven't mentioned any ghosts. That's because none of the ghosts or scares in Haunted Mansion are very memorable. Jamie Lee Curtis is perhaps the most interesting of the spooks. She plays a dead psychic who was killed and her spirit was trapped inside of a crystal ball. The visual of Curtis's head in the crystal ball isn't bad but its not very elaborate. It's fine, like far too much of Haunted Mansion is fine, it's there, it exists, but it doesn't have much of anything interesting about it. 

The big bad of Haunted Mansion is the Hat Box ghost, played by Jared Leto. The Hat Box Ghost is a remarkably weak villain. The ghost's real name is Crump and the lame comparisons between Crump and Donald Trump are not stated out loud but are very clear. It's a lame non-joke, clearly intended but not well executed at all. It stands out as a bad idea because Leto's performance as Hatbox Ghost is half-hearted at best. The same can be said of the weak CGI look of the character which is scarier in a single drawing by a sketch artist in the movie than it ever is alive and moving around in Haunted Mansion. 

Incidentally, the Police sketch artist in Haunted Mansion is played by Hasan Minaj, a very funny man who is wasted in a nothing performance. Minaj is there to skeptically poke fun at Stanfield and Devito's claims about a ghost and he's offscreen in less than 3 minutes. And, Minaj isn't the biggest waste of talent in Haunted Mansion. Dan Levy and Winona Ryder both make appearances in Haunted Mansion and you are left to wonder if they owed someone a favor and that favor was being in this movie. Levy, one of the most dynamic comic personalities working today gets less than 2 minutes of screentime and his outfit is funnier than anything his character does. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Why Are We All So Connected to Halloween Ends?

Is the Halloween franchise truly going to end? It's unlikely. Even as the next film in the franchise is literally called Halloween Ends, my cynical mind cannot accept that idea. Sure, Jamie Lee Curtis and her continuity in the franchise will end, I trust her when she says she's finished with the series. But, Hollywood doesn't just stopping making a franchise in this day and age. If they feel there is still money to be made from an intellectual property, they will keep reheating it for eternity. 

That said, my cynicism fully expressed, I want to posit why we are so connected to this particular franchise. What is it about John Carpenter and the endurance of this horror franchise? What is it about Michael Myers and Lori Strode that compels us back to the theater for movie after movie. This question arose as I was watching a newly released featurette on Halloween Ends. It's about Jamie Lee Curtis' final days on set and the family atmosphere behind this intense horror franchise. Even as I have not like the newest entries in the franchise, I could not help but get a little emotional as Jamie Lee Curtis teared up and said goodbye to the crew of Halloween Ends. 

Our relationship to Good and Evil 

The unquestioned good of Lori Strode and the undying evil of Michael Myers are the basis for identification with this franchise. Lori Strode was just an average teenage babysitter who became the target of a supernatural monster of a man. It's the classic David versus Goliath story, how can this unprepared young woman possibly survive an attack by this unkillable monster? It's also a classic underdog story. On first glance, there is no chance for young Lori Strode to survive against Michael Myers. Automatically, our sympathy lies with her. 

On a base level, Halloween is about Yin and Yang, good and evil and how they cannot exist without each other. What is good if not the opposite of evil? Who is Laurie Strode if not the opposite of Michael Myers. On the most simplistic level, that is always appealing. Beginning in the earliest days of passing stories along by word of mouth, to the creation of literature translated to the stage, and the screen, we've always returned to this very basic theme of good overcoming evil, the meek inheriting the Earth. Laurie Strode is who we are in struggle and Michael Myers is the problem we must overcome. 

Jamie Lee Curtis

Click here for my full length article at Geeks.Media

Classic Movie Review Halloween (1978)

Halloween (1978) 

Directed by John Carpenter 

Written by John Carpenter, Debra Hill 

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasance 

Release Date October 25th, 1978 

Halloween Franchise 

Is it possible that horror fans just like the musical score for Halloween 1978 and tolerate the movie that goes with it? I realize that this is a great offense to fans of the Halloween franchise but I just don't get the appeal of John Carpenter's original Halloween. The film is remarkably dull by the standards of the great horror movies I have seen in my now more than 20 years as a film critic. Halloween is outright boring aside from that remarkable score which is incredible at creating the tension that the characters and the slack scenes fail to establish. 

Halloween 1978 centers on Michael Myers who, as a child, murdered his sister in cold blood. Taken into a mental institution, Michael was locked away until the age of 21 under the treatment of Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance). In treating Michael, Dr. Loomis has come to see his patient as the closest thing to pure evil he's ever witnessed. Dr. Loomis has dedicated his career to making sure Michael Myers never gets out of custody. Unfortunately, on the night that Loomis is set to take Michael to an even more secure facility for rest of his natural life, Loomis finds that Michael has escaped. 

Driven by an unspecified motivation, Michael returns to Haddonfield, Illinois, his childhood hometown. There he sets his sights on several people he wants to kill. Among the likely victims is Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), a teenager with plans to babysit on this Halloween night. Halloween is when Michael killed his sister and it is this night that he hopes to return to killing. Another potential victim that catches Michael's eye is young Tommy Doyle (Brian Andrews), who happens to be the child that Laurie will be babysitting that night. 

It's quite a coincidence that Michael follows first Laurie and then Tommy as he would have no idea that Laurie is Tommy's babysitter but we are supposed to forget about such things. We are also supposed to not care that someone must have taken the time to teach the most dangerous inmate in a mental institution how to drive a car with such care that he can stealthily follow not one but two different, seemingly unrelated children. Halloween fans want us to pretend these inconsistencies don't exist but the movie does little to hide its own flaws. 

The other thing we are asked to ignore is how silly Michael Myers looks each time we see him. My favorite is a moment where Michael is stalking Laurie as she walks home from school. Laurie looks over her shoulder and sees Michael's hulking masked figure standing still and staring at her. She turns away and he's gone. Laurie's friend goes to see who might be messing with her friend and when she arrives at the hedgerow that Michael would seem to be hiding behind, he's gone. The clear indication here, aside from unspecified supernatural powers, is that Michael Myers, the cheeky prankster that he is, appeared in front of Laurie and then quickly ran away so as not to be caught. 

The mental image of a hulking mental patient in a Halloween mask running to hide from a pair of teenagers is hilarious. But then, ask yourself this, why? Why is Michael toying with Laurie? What does a mental patient get out of hiding in the hedges or hiding in Laurie's backyard or appearing to her outside her school? What does this have to do with anything Michael Myers has planned? I'm told that his lack of motivation is part of what makes Michael Myers so scary but then why is the rest of the franchise so dedicated to giving Michael a motivation? 

Halloween fans have hand-waved all of these weird inconsistencies for years. Things like why Michael stole his sister's headstone from her grave only to set it up in a random house where he has elaborately stored several of the bodies of various victims unrelated to his original murder? Nowhere during the original Halloween is it mentioned that Laurie and Michael are secret siblings, that's a retcon from Halloween 2. The fact that we ever found out that Laurie is Michael's sister reveals the cynicism of this franchise continuing beyond the ragingly mediocre original. 

The film was successful and marketers, seeing success, capitalized with a sequel. Fans of the aesthetic of Michael Myers, and John Carpenter's first rate score then dedicated themselves to lore building for the franchise to justify their enjoyment of such a nakedly commercial franchise. It's the calculated, capitalistic cynicism that bothers me about Halloween. John Carpenter made one of his most mediocre movies in 1978 and was roped to that movie by its unlikely success. 

Find my full length review of Halloween 1978 at Horror.Media

Classic Movie Review Halloween 2

Halloween 2 (1981) 

Directed by Rick Rosenthal 

Written by John Carpenter, Debra Hill 

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasance, Dick Warlock 

Release Date October 30th, 1981 

Published October 13th, 2022 

So, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Michael Myers (Dick Warlock) are siblings. So now what? Apparently, the answer to so now what was let's do what we did the first time to ever diminishing returns. Halloween 2 is set on the same night as the original, October 31st, 1978. Michael Myers has been shot by Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance), but has managed to escape. Laurie is hurt and deeply traumatized. She's taken to a hospital where they plan to treat her cuts and bruises and give her a good night's sleep with some good drugs. 

Unfortunately for everyone at the hospital, Michael Myers is not one to give up. Even with several bullet wounds, he plans on finding his heretofore unknown sister and killing her for some nebulous reason. But, before he can get to her, he needs to mess about killing randos. this means finding a couple having sex in the hospital therapy tub, ewwwwwww, and nearly melting their skin off before knifing them but good. Yes, sure, death to those who have sex in therapy pools, but this seems like an unnecessary detour for Michael Myers. 

If the end goal is killing Laurie Strode then why is Michael constantly achieving side quests like he's playing GTA? When he gets to the hospital Michael takes the time to sabotage every vehicle in the parking lot. And, in case someone tries to call the authorities whose bullets can't stop him, Michael rips out the phone line. Then he wastes time searching for Laurie Strode by murdering random hospital employees and posing them for best horror effect. This is a Michael Myers trope that always boggles my mind, why does Myers feel the need to pose his victims? 

When you think about it, for a guys whose aesthetic is stoic, stalking, methodical maniac, Michael is rather flamboyant in how he poses his kills. For instance, he murders a nurse by having all of her blood drain out of her in a perfect pool while she sleeps the sleep of death. He stabs another doctor in the eye with a needle and leaves him perfectly posed with the needle in his eye for best horror effect. If you want to have fun, just imagine the effort and time it must take Michael to take and crumple the bodies of victims he doesn't pose into the various hiding places he pushes them into. 

Click here for my full length review of Halloween 2 at Horror.Media. 

Movie Review Halloween Ends

Halloween Ends (2022) 

Directed by David Gordon Green 

Written by Paul Brad Logan, Danny McBride, Chris Bernier, David Gordon Green 

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Andi Matichak, James Jude Courtney 

Release Date October 14th, 2022 

Published October 14th, 2022 

It's called Halloween Ends and I do believe Jamie Lee Curtis when she says this is the last one for her. That said, if Halloween Ends makes money, it won't be long before The Shape, Michael Myers, is haunting theaters again. That reason based cynicism has colored my viewing experience of every Halloween movie. No matter how illogical or unnecessary, the owners of the Halloween Intellectual Property will try and wring more cash out of it. Try as they might to make Halloween Ends appear like an endeavor that isn't merely about cash, the makers of Halloween Ends fail as every Halloween movie fails to escape the cynical calculations of Hollywood branding and marketing. 

Halloween Ends picks up four years after the last time that Michael Myers ran amok in Haddonfield, Illinois. Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is now living with her granddaughter, Allyson (Andi Matichak). Though she remains alert, Laurie has grown comfortable with Michael having been gone for so long. Now, Laurie is working on her memoirs while patiently waiting for the day Michael may return to her life. That she isn't constantly paranoid is a testament to her toughness. 

Meanwhile, in a bizarre and unnecessary other movie, Rohan Campbell plays Corey Cunningham. Corey is a teenage babysitter who, while watching the child of a rich couple, accidentally kills the child. Labelled as a child killer, even though the kid's death was an accident, Corey is blamed by many and he's become a loner and an outcast, preferring to stay home under the watchful eyes of his parents. When Corey does go out he's harassed by teenagers until Laurie rescues him. Because he's a main character, Laurie takes him to meet her granddaughter and the two form a romance. 

Unfortunately, Corey's haunted past keeps getting in his way until he finally snaps. On the run from his tormentors, Corey stumbles over Michael Myers near death and living in the sewer. For reasons that only the FOUR screenwriters might understand, Michael doesn't kill Corey. Instead, the two briefly become partners in killing. Corey begins luring victims to Michael and then they graduate to Corey and Michael as a killing duo. All the while, Allyson is fooled and charmed by Corey into thinking he's just a haunted bad boy and not a murderous psychopath. 

The addition of the character of Corey is an attempt to refresh the franchise one last time but it doesn't work. Rohan Campbell's whiny performance only leaves you to wonder why a character like Allyson would be attracted to this guy. Corey doesn't drive the plot, the plot pushes him along, uses him as a device and discards him when they are ready to move back to Michael as the main villain. Any time spent with the character of Corey feels like a gigantic waste of time. Instead of refreshing the franchise, the character seems to trip the movie, stall its progress and test our patience. 

Find my full length review of Halloween Ends at Horror.Media 

Classic Movie Review: A Fish Called Wanda

 A Fish Called Wanda (1988) 

Directed by Charles Crichton

Written by John Cleese

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin, John Cleese

Release Date July 15th, 1988 

Published July 15th, 2018

It’s so strange, sometimes movies get a reputation for genius and you hear about it and hear about it and then you see it for yourself and you wind up wondering what all of the fuss was about. That’s the case for me with A Fish Called Wanda. Yes, I had seen the movie before, back when it was on HBO in the 90’s and I think that I tried very hard to like it as much as the critics of the time seemed to like it. I liked it so I could seem smart.

A Fish Called Wanda turns 30 years old this weekend and once again I watched with the aim of wanting to like it so I could seem smart. Only this time, I am mature and confident enough to say I simply didn’t care for it. A Fish Called Wanda just doesn’t work on me. I disliked the characters, I was barely amused by the gags and Kevin Kline’s Academy Award winning supporting performance, for me, came off as forced and shrill.

A Fish Called Wanda is a comic heist movie which stars Jamie Lee Curtis as Wanda, a woman who is dating a thief named Georges Thomas, played by Tom Georgeson, a gag funnier than most in the movie. Wanda is only setting Georges up so that she and her lover, Otto (Kevin Kline) can double cross him and their other partner, Ken (Michael Palin). Georges isn’t stupid however and to insure his cut, he hides the loot until he knows he’s clear, an idea that pays off when Otto secretly turns him, unaware of where the loot actually went. 

To figure out where the loot is hidden, Wanda and Otto begin a convoluted plan surrounding Georges’ barrister, Archie Leach (John Cleese). The hope is that Otto will give Archie the location of the loot as a way to reduce his sentence after he is caught. The plan is for Wanda to seduce Archie to get him to reveal the location of the loot so that they can steal it back and leave the country. Things take a turn when Wanda develops a soft spot for Archie.

A Fish Called Wanda was directed by Charles Crichton, sort of. Though John Cleese claimed to have put his name on the co-director credit in order to allay studio fears about the fact that Crichton hadn’t worked in 23 years and was in his mid-80’s, it appears from on-set stories from Curtis and Kline that Cleese was the creative force. It was Cleese who came up with the memorable running gags about Wanda’s fetish for foreign languages and Otto’s insecurity about being called stupid.

 There are other Cleese-ian touches as well such as Archie having a wife and the two of them having separate beds ala his character on the famed British television series Fawlty Towers. Regardless of who is responsible however, not much of anything in A Fish Called Wanda got a laugh out of me. Whether it’s the door slamming, Noises-Off style gags of people running in and out of rooms and weaving elaborate lies when caught in the wrong place at the wrong time or the almost nihilistic approach to right and wrong, I found nothing appealing about A Fish Called Wanda.

The characters in A Fish Called Wanda are all terrible people, and that includes Palin’s Ken who, though he may feel guilty about a few of his evil deeds, is nevertheless as terrible as anyone else and has arguably the most notable body count in the movie, if you count dogs. The gags involving the elaborate ways in which Ken accidentally murders an old ladies three dogs is some of the ugliest humor I can recall in a supposed comedy.

We are supposed to like Ken because Palin plays him as a simpleton, a dupe who thinks he's helping his friend but is blundering his way into crime. We are supposed to either sympathize with or find funny his stuttering but it only engenders a sad sort of pity that is far from funny. A scene where Palin and Cleese finally share the screen comes late in the film, as we've anticipated seeing the Python guys together, and the scene is a wretchedly excessive scene of Palin struggling with his stutter and Cleese becoming more and more explosively irritated while trying to stay calm. There is no gag here other than Palin's stutter and it's never funny, merely insensitive. 

A Fish Called Wanda presumes its own sophistication. The filmmakers and stars appear as if they should be erudite, sophisticated players in a farce but somehow the film never earns a laugh. I shouldn’t say never, I was amused a few times, such as when Cleese dances about spouting Russian phrases while Jamie Lee Curtis writhes in ecstasy but the amusement was tempered and rare.

In his 1988 review of A Fish Called Wanda, Roger Ebert says “One of its strengths is its mean-spiritedness” and I could not disagree more. I don’t find the mean-spiritedness of A Fish Called Wanda to be a strength. It’s my least favorite thing about the movie. I don’t enjoy these odious characters and their greed and I especially don’t care for the ending that rewards each of them in some strange way.

I revere Roger Ebert which explains why, nearly 30 years ago, I watched A Fish Called Wanda and desperately attempted to like it. I wanted to seem cool to a man I would never meet. I wanted to impress this idol who didn’t know I existed via some transference of psychic energy; as if the universe might inform my hero that I was no ordinary teenage movie fan, I was a teenage movie fan who liked A Fish Called Wanda.

I still revere Roger Ebert, his writing will influence me for my lifetime but as an older man I find myself able to politely disagree. While Roger enjoyed this movie, I loathed it. I didn’t enjoy the mean-spiritedness because the characters weren’t pleasant or entertaining enough to earn it. I don’t mind a mean character winning in the end if they are charming or interesting enough and they are perhaps thumbing their nose at some societal ill. But when characters are just terrible because being terrible gets them what they want, I lose interest.

The characters of A Fish Called Wanda aren’t charming, their ugly. I don’t mind that they are criminals, I mind that they aren’t interesting or funny criminals. I don’t mind that they are killers or thieves, I mind that they aren’t charming or silly or funny killers and thieves. The characters appear as if they and what they are doing should be funny and yet I don’t laugh. I dislike these characters and thus they never become funny.

Movie Review: Freaky Friday

Freaky Friday (2003) 

Directed by Mark Waters 

Written by Heather Hach, Leslie Dixon

Starring Lindsay Lohan, Jamie Lee Curtis, Harold Gould, Chad Michael Murray, Mark Harmon

Release Date August 6th, 2003 

Published August 6th, 2003 

1976's Freaky Friday preceded a craze for body switching movies in the 1980's. Remember Fred Savage and Judge Reinhold in Vice Versa? George Burns and Charlie Schlatter in 18 Again? And horror of horrors Kirk Cameron and Dudley Moore in Like Father Like Son. Most recently Rob Schneider pulled off the trick in The Hot Chick. So, history was solidly against the new Freaky Friday starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsey Lohan.

Dr. Tess Coleman (Curtis) seems to have everything in her life working like clockwork, a thriving psychiatric practice, a book deal and her fiancé Ryan (Mark Harmon). Everything is good except for her difficult teen daughter Anna (Lohan) who is struggling in school, dresses from a thrift store and spends her time playing in a rock band in the family garage.

Anna is also unhappy about Tess's fiancé and upcoming wedding. Unfortunately, Tess is too busy to notice. Everything finally comes to a head between mother and daughter when Anna asks to skip the wedding rehearsal to play in a battle of the bands. Mom says no, leading to a screaming match at a Chinese restaurant. The mother of the owner of the restaurant is one of those oddly beatific old Asian women that exist only in Hollywood to dispense supernatural advice and/or meddling. In this case, the old women uses some mystical fortune cookies to teach mother and daughter how difficult each other’s lives are.

The next morning, the freaky Friday of the title, Mom and daughter have switched bodies and it couldn't happen at a worse time. Anna has an important test and a burgeoning flirtation with a boy that mom would not approve of, Jake played by Jake Murray. Meanwhile, Mom has a patient she absolutely must see and a big surprise from Ryan, who also is her book editor. After visiting the restaurant again and consulting the fortunes from the cookies, they find that the only way to reverse the switch is through learning to understand each other.

That may sound hokey, and it is, but Director Mark S. Waters has some surprises along the way that leaven the potential after-school special moments. A funny script by first timer Heather Hach and two excellent lead actresses help Waters deliver a family movie that avoids the treacly pitfalls of most non-animated family films.

Jamie Lee Curtis in Freaky Friday has the best role she's had since True Lies and she tears into it with the same fervor and imagination. She shifts from uptight adult to slacker teen in a perfectly natural manner. Unlike a Judge Reinhold or Dudley Moore from those awful 80's body switch movies, Curtis never embarrasses herself. There are a couple of uncomfortable over the top moments but considering the circumstance of the story that’s easily forgiven. As for Lohan, she doesn't pull of the switch quite as well as Curtis but she is game enough to get through the rough spots and earns and maintains audience sympathy through the body swap and back.

I honestly expected to hate this film, not just based on the history of films with similar stories, but also because it's yet another Disney retread. Whether it's recycling their theme park rides or betraying their animated library with awful straight to video sequels, Disney has shown a distinct lack of creativity. However, that lack of new ideas has yielded Pirates of the Caribbean, possibly the summers best film, and now this remake. Freaky Friday is a surprisingly, or maybe even shockingly, funny family film. It's seems Disney at least has the brains to hire creative people even if the ideas and stories are less than creative.

Movie Review Knives Out

Knives Out (2019) 

Directed by Rian Johnson

Written by Rian Johnson 

Starring Daniel Craig, Chris Evans, Ana De Armas, Jamie Lee Curtis, Michael Shannon, Don Johnson, LaKeith Stanfield, Toni Collette

Release Date November 27th, 2019

Published November 26th, 2019 

In a season when movies are doing their best to reach your emotions and move you in order to earn awards consideration, it is bold to release a movie that has little or no meaning. Knives Out is simply entertainment. There is no deeper meaning, no revelation about the core of humanity and no deeper message about existence. Knives Out is simply an entertaining, at times highly convoluted, mystery for entertainment purposes only. 

Knives Out tells the story of an elderly mystery writer named Harlan Thromby (Christopher Plummer). It has rather recently dawned on Harlan that his family is a miserable and selfish clan who’ve been thriving off of his success while never making anything of their own. At 85 and seeing his life coming to a close, Harlan decides that he’s going to cut off his family and everyone else except for his nurse, Marta (Ana De Armas), a genuinely kind woman who’s become his one true friend. 

On the morning following Harlan’s birthday, his maid finds Harlan dead in his study. Harlan has cut his own throat and bled to death. Though not the type many would peg for a suicide, it appears to be an open and shut case until a private investigator arrives. Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) has been hired by someone in the family to find out whether or not Harlan did kill himself and whether or not an expert level murder and cover up has taken place. 

The suspects in Harlan’s death include his daughter, Linda (Jamie Lee Curtis), her cheating husband, Richard (Don Johnson), Linda and Richard’s spoiled son, Ransom (Chris Evans), Harlan’s son Walt (Michael Shannon) and Harlan’s daughter in-law from a son who passed away, Joni (Toni Collette). Investigating the case for the cops is Detective Lt Elliott (Lakeith Stansfield) and Trooper Wagner (Noah Segan). 

Each of the family members attended Harlan’s 85th birthday and each informs the police and detective Blanc about their interactions with Harlan and what their motive might be to kill him. Holding the key to everything is Marta who is so innately good-hearted that she physically cannot tell a lie. You will have to see the movie to understand what that means but it is a wonderfully clever device in a movie filled with clever devices. 

Knives Out was written and directed by Rian Johnson who became famous for directing Star Wars: The Last Jedi but has always been a mystery director at heart. Johnson’s debut feature, Brick, was a noir mystery that transposed a Phillip Marlowe-esque story into the hallways of a suburban high school and did so with ingenious technique. With Knives Out, Johnson is aping the style of Agatha Christie to equally strong effect. 

Johnson’s hallmark is playfulness, a genuine delight with the mechanics of mystery. You can sense in the way he structures and paces his mysteries that he deeply enjoys leading audiences one way while taking his story the other way and bringing us around only when he’s ready. All the while, his wonderful characters keep us on edge with their colorful recriminations, shifting motivations and alliances. 

Knives Out also finds time to be genuinely funny with Daniel Craig delighting in not being under the yoke of his James Bond performance. Taking on a theatrical southern affectation, Craig’s foghorn leghorn act is wildly entertaining in ways Craig has rarely shown in his career. I grew tired of his stoic yet emo Bond after his first adventure and I’ve mostly tolerated him since then. Here however, Craig is effortlessly charming. 

Ana De Armas is also a stand out as a young woman desperately in over her head. There isn’t much I can tell you about her arc in the movie, everything she does could be considered a minor spoiler. What I can tell you is that De Armas is brilliant in her wide-eyed, increasingly frenzied manner. Marta drives the plot more than any other character in Knives Out and it takes a strong actress to hold that center against a wide array of bigger name, more colorful performers. 

Knives Out may be empty calories as a movie but who doesn’t love a few tasty empty calories. When something is this delicious it’s okay to indulge a little. It’s not a four course meal of Oscar worthy direction or performance but it is a wonderfully, singularly entertaining mystery populated by colorful characters and helmed by a director of impeccable taste and talent. If there is room on your Thanksgiving table for leafy greens, there is also room for pie. Consider Knives Out a delicious custard at the movie theater table. 

Movie Review: Halloween Resurrection

Halloween Resurrection (2002) 

Directed by Rick Rosenthal 

Written by Sean Hood, Larry Brand 

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Busta Rhymes, Tyra Banks, Sean Patrick Thomas, Thomas Ian Nicholas 

Release Date July 12th, 2002 

Published July 12th, 2002 

Earlier this year horror fans were pummeled by the horrendous Jason X, the 10th film in the Friday the 13th franchise. Now another horror franchise returns to the big screen, the 8th installment of the Michael Myers lead Halloween franchise. Halloween Resurrection is everything Jason X wasn't, funny, exciting and hopelessly inept…in a good way.

Rapper Busta Rhymes is perfectly cast as Freddie, a fast talking Internet producer who on Halloween arranges a webcast from the home of legendary mass murderer Michael Myers. The reality show webcast features cute college kids attempting to survive a night in the house where Myers' killing spree began over 30 years ago. Amongst our group of Internet victims are a couple of familiar faces, Sean Patrick Thomas from Save The Last Dance and Thomas Ian Nicholas from the American Pie movies. 

The casting of these two semi well-known actors, rising stars, is exactly what might have spiced up Jason X instead of the community theatre troupe they went with. Also in the cast of Halloween Resurrection is a girl named Sara played by Bianca Kajtich. Sara is our heroine, the one with the most screen time, and the one most likely to return for the next sequel. The film also features the return of Jamie Lee Curtis in what looks to be her final installment of the series her lungs made famous.

This film is the exact opposite of Jason X, it's exciting and funny-ironic without trying to be clever. There is no winking at the audience, no “look how self aware we are.” Just straight ahead classic gore. Michael Myers is in fine form cutting off heads, nailing people to walls, and murdering the overly sexed. For a serial killer, he's quite a prude. The film is at times outright hysterical; Busta Rhymes especially tears into his role with multiple well-timed one-liners, and not to mention his karate skills.

I admit I have a twisted sense of humor. Watching someone stuck to a wall by a pair of kitchen knives, or watching a girl's head roll down steps like some messed up slinky makes me laugh. It's funny because it's cartoonishly surreal, much like the Itchy and Scratchy cartoons on The Simpsons. Director Rick Rosenthal, who also directed the first Halloween sequel, knows he's not filming Shakespeare. His special effects and makeup are cheesy and he doesn't care. If the effects weren't cheesy and he tried to make it more realistic, the film wouldn't work.

It's interesting that this film opens the same weekend as Road To Perdition. The two films have nothing in common but are a counterpoint to each other. Perdition portrays realistic violence with consequence. Resurrection portrays obviously fake violence to shock and desensitize the audience and does so effectively. Violence in Halloween is of no consequence, thus realism never enters into the equation.

The fact of the matter is that Halloween Resurrection, much like it's predecessor H20, is an exciting, funny, campy riot that’s definitely worth the price of admission.