Movie Review: Cirque Du Freak The Vampire's Assistant

Cirque Du Freak The Vampire's Assistant (2009) 

Directed by Paul Weitz

Written by Paul Weitz, Brian Helgeland 

Starring John C. Reilly Chris Massoglia, Josh Hutcherson, Ken Watanabe, Ray Stevenson

Release Date October 23rd, 2009 

Published October 22nd, 2009

Vampires are hot in Hollywood thanks to Twilight. That massive hit film will spawn a sequel later this year. directed by Chris Weitz, of American Pie fame. Twilight also likely played a part in the film adaptation of another lit based Vampire tale. Ironically this too has been directed by someone named Weitz. Paul Weitz brings Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant to the big screen ahead of his brother Chris's New Moon. It's fair to assume Chris will have a great deal more success than Paul has had with this abysmal mishmash of kid flick and vamp flick.

Chris Massoglia takes the lead in Cirque Du Freak as Darren. A spider obsessed power nerd, Darren is modestly popular at school but not exactly king of the school. His status is dragged down a bit by his hot headed best friend Steve (Josh Hutcherson) whose own obsession with vampires will soon land them both in hot water.

One afternoon as the boys are lamenting a lack of things to do in their small town they find a very intriguing flyer. It's an ad for something called Cirque Du Freak and it promises something well beyond either boy's previous experience. Taking in the show they witness a woman who can grow back her limbs, a man with two stomachs and finally a vampire magician named Crepsley (John C. Reilly).

When the Cirque is broken up early by an invading mob of angry townspeople Darren ends up stealing Crepsley's prized and dangerous spider. Steve meanwhile tries to become a vampire and is turned away by Crepsley. Soon, because of the spider and a deal with Crepsley it is Darren who ends up a vampire. Steve meanwhile turns to Crepsley's enemy for help.

There is a great deal more minutias in this plot but I just didn't care enough to detail it. Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant is an all out mess of plot strands, extranneous characters and a complete waste of time. The nature of the film is as the start of a franchise so going in you know their will be no resolution. What is surprising is how little you care whether the story resolves anything at all.

Paul Weitz is a talented writer and director with a strong wit and daring sensibility. His Amercan Idol parody American Dreamz was also a disaster but one you have to respect for taking big, daring risks. That film walked a tightrope and fell off but was brave in its failures.

There is nothing remotely brave or even daring about Cirque Du Freak. Piggybacking off the success of other vampire franchises and a successful book series, The Vampire's Assistant is just lame kiddie fare dressed up in halloween makeup and dumped onto the screen with a minimum of coherence.

It simply doesn't work. Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant knocks off a few boring vampire cliches, keeps the blood and death to a very bare minimum and fails in every way to find something interesting or vaguely entertaining to do with it's sprawling premise and characters.

Movie Review Little Fockers

Little Fockers (2010) 

Directed by Paul Weitz

Written by John Hamburg, Larry Stuckey

Starring Ben Stiller, Robert De Niro, Blythe Danner, Dustin Hoffman, Barbra Streisand, Owen Wilson, Teri Polo

Release Date December 22nd, 2010 

Published December 23rd, 2010 

What a difference a good director makes. Director Jay Roach took the thin concept of a man meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time and mined it for bigger laughs than were likely in the script. Stretching that thin concept for a sequel about meeting the boyfriend's parents, Roach again found laughs that other directors might not have found.

Unfortunately, for fans of “Meet the Parents” and “Meet the Fockers,” Jay Roach could see that the premise was played out and while producers pushed for “Little Fockers,” aka ‘Meet the Kids,’ the one director who might have been able to find the funny in this idea dropped out. Picking up the scraps is director Paul Weitz (American Pie) who, though not untalented, fails in every way to find something funny in vomit, booger and erectile dysfunction jokes.

When last we left the Byrnes Family Circle of Trust Gaylord 'Greg' Focker (Ben Stiller) had married Pam Byrnes and the two were expecting a child. Well, it turns out they were expecting twins and five years later, Grandpa Jack (Robert De Niro), Grandma Dina (Blythe Danner) and Focker grandparents Bernie (Dustin Hoffman) and Roz (Barbra Streisand) are coming to Chicago for a birthday party.

Meanwhile, at work Greg has been promoted to head of nursing, a gig that comes with the added bonus of a sexy drug rep named Andi (Jessica Alba) who wants to pay Greg big bucks to be a paid medical spokesman for a new erectile dysfunction drug. Andi, last name Garcia, yes that joke gets old real fast, also has a huge crush on Greg that plays out with humiliating complications and misunderstandings.

Also back for this third outing is Kevin (Owen Wilson), Pam's ex who still carries a torch for her as evidenced by a tattoo on his lower back that is one of the few gags that actually plays to big laughs in “Little Fockers.” And speaking of Little Fockers, this movie is supposed to be about the newest additions to the Focker clan. Sadly, the twins played by Daisy Tahan and Colin Baiocchi are poorly used characters who don't really become part of the action.

The Little Fockers are merely set pieces in Paul Weitz's poorly conceived plot which is  just a series of tasteless jokes and dopey misunderstandings that sometimes payoff and sometimes don't. Take Alba's drug rep for instance. One minute she is seducing Greg, in arguably the saddest moment of Jessica Alba's career, yes likely even worse than “Good Luck Chuck,” the next minute she is out of the movie with little explanation or payoff.

Two other well known actors are also marched out on screen for a moment and can consider themselves lucky to have narrowly escaped the humiliation heaped upon Ms. Alba. Harvey Keitel plays the desperately underwritten role of Greg's crooked home contractor and he plays the role solely so he and Mr. De Niro, his longtime friend and “Mean Streets” co-star can have one meaningless stare down.

Poor Laura Dern is dropped into an even less interesting and poorly fleshed out role as the head of an exclusive private school. The school is called the Little Human Academy and apparently director Paul Weitz thought that the phrase ‘Little Humans’ was funny enough that he didn't bother to include any other notable jokes for Dern, Stiller or De Niro to play in the school scenes.

Dustin Hoffman meanwhile, did not want to return for “Little Fockers.” In fact, according to sources, shooting on “Little Fockers” was five days from complete when a deal was struck for the Oscar winner to reprise his role as Bernie Focker with re-shoots needed to shoehorn Bernie into the story with embarrassing results for the poor editing team tasked with forcing Hoffman into the movie.

Embarrassing is the operative word for all of “Little Fockers” even stars Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro. Though they remain a terrific comic team with a strong instinct for each other's brand of comedy, Stiller and De Niro aren't given much good to play and thus fall back, often as possible, on the things they've done before in a fit of desperate recycling.

The few new gags the duo is given are just unfortunate, especially the erectile dysfunction bit that producers thought was hilarious enough to include in ads for the film and thus destroyed as a gag in the film. 

Little Fockers is a disaster and should have been aborted the moment Jay Roach turned down the chance to direct. Stiller and De Niro are the faces of this franchise but the talent was clearly Mr. Roach without whom everything falls to pieces. Without Roach's guiding hand “Little Fockers” plays as a series of lowbrow gags instead of being what the first two movies were, family stories that happened to include a number of lowbrow gags.

Movie Review: American Dreamz

American Dreamz (2006) 

Directed by Paul Weitz

Written by Paul Weitz 

Starring Hugh Grant, Dennis Quaid, Marcia Gay Harden, Mandy Moore, Willem Dafoe, Chris Klein

Release Date April 21st, 2006

Published April 20th, 2006 

When I heard that the very talented writer-director of American Pie and About A Boy, Paul Weitz, had decided to take on an ambitious satire of President George W. Bush and the vapid karaoke extravaganza American Idol, I was quite excited. Two such broad targets are, no doubt, hard to miss with hard edged satire. So how disappointed was I when, while finally watching American Dreamz, that Weitz manages to miss the target like a Buffalo Bills kicker in the Super Bowl.

Hugh Grant stars in American Dreamz as Martin Tweed a Simon Cowell clone with a nasty disposition on screen and off. A self loathing jerk, we meet Martin as he dumps his girlfriend while celebrating his shows latest spectacular ratings.

The new season of 'American Dreamz' is about to begin and a new crop of contestants are lining up. In the tiny hamlet of of Padookie, Ohio Sally Kendoo (Mandy Moore) is ready for her closeup. An ambitious, plotting, self absorbed teen, Sally celebrates her American Dreamz birth by dumping her dopey but loving boyfriend William (Chris Klein). So broken up about it William runs off to the army and is immediately sent to Iraq.

On the other side of the world Omer (Sam Galzari) is training in an Al Quaeda terrorist camp. However, he spends his evenings singing along to show tunes. He is soon sent to America to live with relatives and finds himself auditioning for American Dreamz, the producers, Tweed and flunkies played by Judi Greer and John Cho, have decided the key to ratings is diversity. They want an arab guy and they choose Omer opposite him they want a jewish guy and they get a hasidic rapper played by Adam Busch.

Running parallel to the American Dreamz story is that of President Jack Staton (Dennis Quaid). Having just narrowly won re-election, President Staton wakes up one morning and decides to read the newspaper instead of his daily briefing. He then proceeds to not leave the presidential bedroom for three solid weeks, choosing to stay in bed reading the newspaper.

To get the president back on his feet his chief of staff (Willem Dafoe in a Dick Chaney haircut) gets the president an appearance as a guest judge on American Dreamz. This places the small town witch, the Arab dreamer and the dimwit president on a collision course, unfortunately the only collision is with indifference.

American Dreamz walks up to the edge of hard satire and then runs away like a scared child. The film does not have a mean bone in it's body despite attempts to look mean. Grant's Simon Cowell may be a self loathing prick but Grant cannot turn off that natural charisma that makes even a bastard like Martin Tweed charming. He's supposed to be a Machiavellian bastard but the edges are worn off and his manipulations never take away from his likability.

Mandy Moore is supposed to be Martin's equal in terms of self involvement and angry ambition but she too cannot turn off the charms that have made her a star. Moore evinces hateful bitchiness, but in an ill-conceived romantic subplot with Grant, she turns cuddly in a dark comic way and you can't help rooting. a little, for an unearned happy ending.

The characters in American Dreamz break down into two categories, either mean or or dopey. Grant, Moore and Dafoe fall into the mean category while Golzari, Klein and Quaid are in the dopey category. In a satire with sharp edges, with a clearer perspective and point of view, this might not be such a bad thing. But in an unfocused mess like American Dreamz you are left to wonder just what are you supposed to enjoy about these characters.

Weitz aspires at once to the hard edges of Kubrick's trenchant Doctor Strangelove and Christopher Guest's gentle prodding Waiting For Guffman and Best In Show. The mix is weak kneed when it needs to be edgy, as in the too soft take on the President, and to edgy when it needs to be soft as in the American Idol satire.

The saddest thing about American Dreamz is that Weitz's approach could have worked. If he had approached the Presidential satire like Kubrick did Strangelove and the American Idol stuff like Guest took on folkies in A Mighty Wind, then American Dreamz might have mixed these two disparate subjects in a satifying way.

Instead what we have is a complete disaster of weak willed satire, dopey hateful characters and rare moments of laughter. American Dreamz is one of the most disappointing films I've seen in a very long while. The very talented Paul Weitz has many more good films in his future, let's hope he puts this one behind him quickly.