Classic Movie Review Rookie of the Year

Rookie of the Year (1993) 

Directed by Daniel Stern 

Written by Sam Harper 

Starring Thomas Ian Nicholas, Gary Busey, Amy Morton 

Release Date July 7th 1993

Published July 17th, 2023 

As a kid, the idea of a movie featuring my Chicago Cubs was golden. I loved it. I was incredibly happy to throw down money to watch a movie featuring Wrigley Field and a hint of the magic of the Major League Baseball that I was obsessed with. Rookie of the Year existed in a pantheon of movies like Back to the Future 3 and Taking Care of Business that made a joke of having my lovably losing Cubbies winning the World Series, something the team hadn't done since 1908. For a time, the Cubs were a go-to reference for anyone wanting to reference long term losing or a poignant dedication to thankless endeavor. 

Rookie of the Year however, was a little different. The earnestness of this family comedy had the Cubs winning the World Series not as an ironic joke but as a genuine moment of unexpected triumph. It's about the ultimate underdogs overcoming the odds to do the impossible in a way that was inspiring and not meant to mock, even as it takes an over-powered kid pitcher to make it happen. Rookie of the Year's nostalgic appeal has lingered for me for 30 years simply because of the fact that it wasn't made with the intent of mocking the idea that my favorite team might actually win. 

It can be hard to wipe the nostalgia out of your eyes and see something for what it really is. Sadly, for the Everyone's a Critic 1993 Podcast, I forced myself to do just that and what I found is that Rookie of the Year is as obnoxious and insufferable as any movie in the last 30 years. It gets a break because it has incredibly low ambitions, being a movie for very small children, but watching it as an adult was a miserable experience nonetheless. The charm of Rookie of the Year has, for me, completely worn off and curdled into a spoiled bit of nostalgia that I would very much like to forget. 

Rookie of the Year stars toothy 12 year old Thomas Ian Nicholas, future star of the American Pie franchise. Here, Nicholas plays Henry Rowengartner a baseball loving nerd who lacks natural athletic gifts. This is despite the word of his mother who claims that Henry's dad was a ballplayer. Sadly, Henry's Dad left years ago and is barely a memory. Now, Mom is dating a weasel named Jack (Bruce Altman). We know he's a weasel because of his shirts, his unearned confidence, and his stupid car and haircut. 

The plot of Rookie of the Year begins when Henry suffers a broken shoulder. The break heals oddly and leaves Henry's tendons super tight. Soon Henry is throwing an incredible 100 mile per hour fastball. When he shows off his arm at a Chicago Cubs game by throwing a ball from the bleachers to home plate in record time, Henry catches the eye of the Cubs duplicitous VP Larry "Fish" Fisher. Fish tracks Henry down and cuts a deal with Jack to make Henry the newest star of the Chicago Cubs. This comes over much consternation from Henry's mom, and much to the excitement of Henry's best friends, George (Patrick Lebeque) and Clark (Patrick Hy Gorman). 

Less excited about this than anyone is the Cubs legendary pitching star Chet "Rocket" Steadman. He thinks Henry is a sideshow attraction and suspects that this publicity stunt isn't good for anything other than the Cubs' bottom line. Nevertheless, Chet will have to get on board as his manager assigns Chet to try and teach Henry how to control his 100 mile per hour fastball. Naturally, the standoffish Chet will slowly come around as a mentor for Henry and emerges as a love interest for Henry's mom. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review Swimfan

Swimfam (2002) 

Directed by John Polson

Written by Charles Bohl

Starring Jesse Bradford, Erika Christensen, Shiri Appleby, Kate Burton, Dan Hedaya

Release Date September 6th, 2002 

Published September 6th, 2002

It's been years since I have seen Michael Douglas and Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. The little that I remember about Fatal Attraction centers on that boiled rabbit scene and how freaky Glenn Close's hair looked. I don't remember liking the film very much except on a camp level. So, yeah, remaking Fatal Attraction with teenagers and a swimming pool? Not really something I was looking for. Swimfan is just that, a cheesy, sleazy, teenage version of Fatal Attraction, the only difference being that at least the original had some camp value.

Jesse Bradford, star of Clockwatchers, stars as Ben Cronin and as the title suggests, he is indeed a swimmer. In fact Ben is a champion swimmer with a bright future. Ben is in love with a waifish angel named Amy, played by Roswell's Shiri Appleby. Soon, everything comes crashing down as Ben meets psycho bitch Madison Bell (Erika Christensen). 

At first she seems normal enough, don't they always, but she begins to get more involved with Ben. Not surprisingly Madison seduces the dumb jock and thus begins a series of below average thriller movie scenes, where Madison menaces Ben's mother and girlfriend, tries to frame Ben for the murder of a fellow swimmer, and gets him kicked off the swim team. Not quite boiling a bunny rabbit

As for the rest of the movie there isn't one frame of film in this movie that you haven't seen before. Especially trite is that old thriller trick of the psycho's previous victim. Every time, there is always a first victim who tips off our hero to the psycho's plan. It's truly as if there is some thriller handbook floating around that all hack directors work from when making a psycho-girl movie. 

The ending of Swimfan carries the film into comic parody territory. Here, a scene from earlier in the film pays off in the most laughable and predictable fashion. It's like clockwork, you could set your watch to the hack clichés that director John Polson employs to tell the story of Swimfan. If there is a single original thought in all of the making and presentation of Swimfan, I was unable to find it. 

Poor Jesse Bradford, at least he doesn't completely embarrass himself with this performance. Bradford's only embarrassment is actually choosing this role. Co-stars Erika Christenson and Shiri Appleby on the other, each are directed to make fools of themselves in their stock stupid roles. Appleby is beyond annoying as the whiney victim girlfriend. As for Christenson her deadpan psycho is never interesting, she never grabs your attention. 

A good psycho role should embrace camp, go over the top, really bite down on the role. The performance should seduce the audience and the victims. He or she should be entertaining and over the top, be crazy and enjoy it. Christensen comes off as bored and while I understand that this kind of script and role invites boredom, she should at least be considerate of those of us in the audience for Swimfan and not let the boredom come into her performance.