Movie Review Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010) 

Directed by Mike Newell

Written by Boaz Yakin, Doug Miro

Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley, Toby Kebbell, Alfred Molina

Release Date May 28th, 2010

Published May 27th, 2010

There is little to really hate about “Prince of Persia.” The whole enterprise, aside from the awkward, possibly racist, casting choices, has a breezy afternoon serials vibe reminiscent of the goofball humor of Brenden Fraser's first tangle with “The Mummy.” Jake Gyllenhaal doesn't quite pull off daffy charm as Fraser does but he makes up for it with earnestness and strength.

As Dastan, Jake Gyllenhaal tackles a role made famous in an exceptionally popular video game. “Prince of Persia '' follows Dastan's adventure as he makes the luck-filled journey from street urchin to the adopted son of the King of Persia (Richard Pickup). Alongside his brothers Garsiv (Toby Kebbell) and the future King, Tus (Richard Coyle), Dastan fights to maintain the Kingdom of Persia which extends from Asia all the way to the Mediterranean.

As we join the brothers in action they've arrived at the gates of the holy city of Alamut, where rumor has it weapons are being forged for Persia's enemies. Inside the city awaits Tamina (Gemma Aterton) the guardian of the city and its traditions. Her main charge is protecting an ancient knife that contains the Sands of Time. If the knife falls into the wrong hands it might destroy all mankind.

Naturally, the knife will fall to Dastan while someone among his crew, perhaps his sneaky looking Uncle Nizam (Sir Ben Kingsley) will also pursue the knife and the conflict will divide the brothers and the Kingdom of Persia will fall into peril. Oh, and no points for guessing that Tamina and Dastan are destined to fall in love.

Yes, “Prince of Persia” is far from original but that isn't such a horrible crime because it's also entertaining and lighthearted. Director Mike Newell cleverly keeps things moving fast and doesn't dwell on a plot that is merely window dressing for modest special effects and Jake Gyllenhaal's athletic running, jumping and posing.

As for Mr. Gyllenhaal, he doesn't seem entirely comfortable in such a straightforward hero role. He works hard to bring energy to the part and some wit but you can sense an actor longing for something a little meatier to play. Instead he has minimal dialogue and a romance that adds up to little more than sideways glances, childish bickering and almost kisses leading up to one big kiss.

Just about any actor could have played the “Prince of Persia.” All they needed to do was buff up and work on their delivery of expository dialogue. Gyllenhaal gives it about as much as any other actor could give such a minimalist character. He blends well with the average special effects and is fun to watch kissing Gemma Aterton.

All that said the film breezes by in terrifically forgettable fashion; moving at a pace that keeps you involved and doesn't irritate by pretending to be anything more than a thrill park ride or a videogame. There is no assumed importance, no pretension, just quick paced, good natured, earnest action beats.

In the 30's and 40's audiences paid 25 cents to see a serial not unlike “Prince of Persia.” No, they didn't have modern effects but they did have the same sense of breezy adventure, fast paced action and tame attempts at romance. “Prince of Persia” is far from great cinema but for a fast paced summer adventure it’s not bad.

Movie Review: Dirty Dancing Havana Nights

Dirty Dancing Havana Nights

Directed by Guy Ferland

Written by Boaz Yakin

Starring Diego Luna, Romola Garai, Sela Ward, John Slattery, Jonathan Jackson, Mika Boorem

Release Date February 27th, 2004

Published February 27th, 2004

The dirty little secret of dancing is that sometimes it's just sex with your clothes on. If you don't believe me, go to a club or see Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights where a trip to a Cuban dance club is like Plato's Retreat with a dress code. It's where sweaty over the clothes humping stands in for dancing. Don't get me wrong I like sweaty over the clothes humping, especially with the attractive group of people in this movie. But in a mainstream movie being marketed to puritanical Americans based on the love of a semi-chaste American fairy tale, don't you think it's a little out of place?

The original Dirty Dancing is a camp-tastic melange of teenage wish fulfillment and cheeseball acting and dialogue. It's star Patrick Swayze was both alluring to it's teenage fanbase (and their mothers) and anathema to anyone with a brain. Jennifer Grey on the other hand with her smart smile and that unusual nose was the perfect stand in for every average teenage girl in the audience who never believed they could be pretty and get the guy.

In this new version the Jennifer Grey role is filled by Romola Garai, a beautiful woman who could never be mistaken for the average American teenager. Her miscasting is not the film’s biggest problem but one of many. Garai is Katey, 18 years old and preparing for college in the fall. On her way to Class Valedictorian and the perfect wasp fantasy of Radcliffe college in the 1950's, she is suddenly whisked away to Cuba where her father (John Slattery) has taken a promotion from the Ford Motor Company. He will make more money but the family must move to Cuba and Katey must finish her senior year away from her friends.

It's not all bad though, Cuba is lovely and warm and Katey quickly attracts the attention of James (Jonathan Jackson), who happens to the son of her Dad's boss. She couldn't care less about him, Katey is interested in the handsome young Cuban waiter Javier (Diego Luna). After being left behind at school and forced to walk home in the dangerous streets of Cuba, Katey encounters Javier dancing to street musicians with his friends. He offers to walk her home and the two fall into puppy love.

You know what happens next, dance contest, lie to parents, secret dance lessons, yada yada yada, but before we get to that there is a scene of such relatable, casual cruelty from our lead actress that you momentarily think you won't forgive her. On a date with James she suckers him into taking her to a club where Javier is dancing with his friends. Once there she drops James to dance with Javier, well... not exactly not more like the over the clothes humping I mentioned before. All of this while nice guy James is being intimidated by a group of locals espousing Fidel Castro's revolutionary politics that include throwing the white people off the island.

(On a side note the film is set in 1958 pre-Castro Cuba and despite it's teen appeal romance genre does try to evoke it's time and setting. Castro, Communism and revolution have no place in this pop entertainment and it's embarrassing to watch the filmmakers try and shoehorn it in.)

That scene is followed by another mind-blowing scene in which the screenwriters try to throw our sympathies back to Katey by turning James into a lecherous jerk. Then the James character is all but kicked out of the movie except that the rest of the plot turns on a decision he makes not to expose Katey and Javier’s relationship, something that would stop the film in it's track. This is a decision the character makes offscreen! Without any real motivation other than the plot needs it.!

There are yet more problems for Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, not least of which is the nostalgic inclusion of Patrick Swayze in a cameo as a nameless dance instructor. The Swayze still has the bronzed look, a tad withered now but according to my sister, still handsome. He's also still ridiculous and cannot deliver a line of his dance guru dialogue with inducing derisive laughter. Any melodramatic momentum the film generates immediately dissipates at his appearance as the entire audience reels back to remember Johnny Castle.

Another problem is the film’s soundtrack a combination of classic Latin rhythms and modern Latin infused pop. There are moments when the film’s dancing threatens to entertain you but then the producers throw in some modern radio friendly pop tune and you are reminded that this is not a movie but a sales pitch for a soundtrack album.

As for the stars, Garai is sadly miscast. She is pleasant and has an awkward comedic charm but she's no Jennifer Grey. Diego Luna, best known for his work in the remarkable Y Tu Mama Tambien, does well to dull his acting senses to the mindless melodramatics of the plot. He clearly out classes the material in front of him but does what he can to make it palatable. And he can dance.

What a surprise that this 81 minute three act crowd-pleaser was written by the master of manipulative fluff Boaz Yakin whose Remember The Titans is the single wimpiest sports movie ever. How any director could make Denzel Washington so bland is beyond me. But after seeing Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights and his last directorial effort, Uptown Girls, Yakin shows himself to be the master of bland.

Yakin did not direct Havana Nights, that thankless task went to Guy Ferland, a television veteran who knows how to send the audience home in less than sixty minutes. Here, extended beyond the confines of commercial breaks, he is at a loss to send anyone home happy. The films ending is one of the worst you will see this year, a sappy, sugary confection of forced goodwill that even a TV show would balk at.

What Havana Nights truly lacks is a good deal of camp. The original was not a good movie but it was absolutely howlingly funny in the kitsch sense. Honestly who can't say that famous Johnny Castle line "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" without at least a smile on your face. That is pure camp and it's what makes Dirty Dancing so memorable. It's why I bought the DVD. To sit around with friends on a Saturday night and go all Mystery Science Theater on Dirty Dancing is one of my all time favorite memories.

There will be no parties for Havana Nights, or really any memories for me at all of this movie beyond this review. And that is this film’s biggest failure.

Movie Review: Uptown Girls

Uptown Girls (2003) 

Directed by Boaz Yakin

Written by Allison Jacobs 

Starring Brittany Murphy, Dakota Fanning, Marley Shelton, Donald Faison, Heather Locklear

Release Date August 15th, 2003

Published August 15th, 2003  

Much like Heath Ledger, Brittany Murphy is a star who was seemingly thrust upon us by the Hollywood-marketing machine. Ever since her debut as the sweetly naive makeover victim in Clueless, Murphy seemed destined for years of best friend supporting roles, and maybe a television career. Somewhere along the line that changed and Hollywood decided she would be a star. The first test of that stardom is the slight girl-power comedy Uptown Girls co-starring true star in the making Dakota Fanning.

In Uptown Girls, directed by Remember The Titans Boaz Yakin, Murphy is Molly Gunn. Molly is the trust fund party girl daughter of a dead rock star. With millions in the bank and an accountant paying the bills, Molly's life is filled with clubbing and sleeping. Molly did attend college but has never held a job. That all changes when Molly's accountant runs off with her millions, leaving her nothing.

Molly is forced to move in with friends, first her stuck up prissy best friend Ingrid (Marley Shelton) and then her non-threatening male best friend Huey (Donald Faison). Molly must also get a job for the first time in her life, which Huey helps her out getting. He sets her up in a job working as a nanny for a precocious 8- year old named Ray (Dakota Fanning). Ray is the daughter of a record company executive (Heather Locklear in a cameo), who doesn't want a nanny. Ray is the strangest 8-year old on the planet, neurotic on par with Woody Allen, a neat freak, and fan of classical music.

What do you bet that Molly's wild child will have conflict with Ray's orderly clean lifestyle? Not the most original premise and not the most original script either. This puts the onus on Murphy and Fanning to carry the film through it's dull familiarity. Neither actress sadly is up to that task. Both actresses work very hard but the strain shows in scenes of treacle sentimentality.

These problems should come as no surprise to anyone familiar with the work of director Boaz Yakin who is one of the rare directors who aspires to mediocrity. His goal is the mid range. He goes for smiles where better directors go for laughs and melodrama where better directors go for actual drama. His Remember The Titans was a blockbuster that got better reviews than it deserved thanks to the charisma and talent of Denzel Washington. That film was stuffed with every sports movie cliche imaginable and topped of with more melodrama than daytime TV. The same could be said of Uptown Girls, though thankfully without the sports.