Showing posts with label Jason Statham. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jason Statham. Show all posts

Movie Review The Expendables 4

The Expendables 4 (2023) 

Directed by Scott Waugh 

Written by Kurt Wimmer, Max Adams, Tad Daggerhart

Starring Jason Statham, Sylvester Stallone, Megan Fox, 50 Cent, Dolph Lundgren, Tony Jaa, Iko Uwais 

Release Date September 22nd, 2023 

Published September 26th, 2023 

It speaks volumes without saying a word that before the end of the first act, Sylvester Stallone has left The Expendables 4. Stallone's character may or may not have been killed on a raid on terrorists in Libya. So, even the stars of Expendables 4 don't want to be in Expendables 4 if they don't have to be. The Expendables 4 is an utter shambles, a complete embarrassment for everyone involved. It's a lazy boomer fantasy of middle aged tough guys who use their unique set of skills to kill a mass number of lackeys who seem to form out of thin air only to be brutally murdered as quick as they appear. 

The story of The Expendables 4, such as it is, finds our heroes Barney (Sylvester Stallone) and Christmas (Jason Statham), tracking down a terrorist that has long eluded them both. Rahmat (Iko Uwais) is dangerous on his own and has a history with Christmas. Now, however, Rahmat is working with an international terrorist whom Barney has been looking for since the 80s. With Rahmat in Libya getting detonators for a nuclear bomb, the Expendables team, including Toll Road (Randy Couture), Gunnar (Dolph Lundgren), and newcomers Easy Day (50 Cent) and Galan (Jacob Scipio), head into battle. 

The mission is a disaster, the detonators get away and Christmas is fired. What happens to Barney is a spoiler. Regardless, the Expendables team leadership falls to Gina (Megan Fox). It will be her mission now to try and find where Rahmat is taking the nuclear detonators and to stop him from using them to star World War 3. Naturally, Gina happens to be Christmas' ex-girlfriend. And just as predictably, the two have angry fight sex before he hatches a plan to follow her on her mission. Recruiting the help of a former Expendable, Decha (Tony Jaa). 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 



Movie Review The Meg 2: The Trench

The Meg 2: The Trench (2023) 

Directed by Ben Wheatley 

Written by Jon Hoeber, Erich Hoeber, Dean Georgaris 

Starring Jason Stathan, Cliff Curtis, Wu Jing, Page Kennedy, Sophia Cali

Release Date August 4th, 2023 

Published August 4th, 2023 

The Meg 2: The Trench is not great. Here we have yet another in a seeming series of mediocre, manufactured sequel/remake intended to nakedly capitalize on a vaguely appreciated Intellectual Property. There isn't a single person working on The Meg 2: The Trench who appears to have enjoyed making this movie. No one appears to be having fun, each is merely going through the motions of an idiot plot, a series of dimwitted set pieces that stack the odds impossibly against our heroes only to have main character powers intervene to protect Jason Statham and the young girl who provides his motivation as a character. 

The Meg of the title is a Megalodon, a theoretical construct of an ancient shark that lives in a trench heretofore unexplored and unmapped by human eyes. Or so we think. In reality, a heartless group of mercenary capitalists who managed not only to map and navigate The Trench, they managed to build an entire mining colony on the ocean floor, completely under the noses of our heroes. A spy in the operation of Jonas (Jason Statham) and his pal, Mac (Cliff Curtis), has helped steal proprietary equipment from their boss, Jiuming (Wu Jing). 

Now that the team has traveled to The Trench for an exploration of the area, the spy sets about a game of sabotage, attempting to make sure that no one finds out about the illegal mining operation and the risk it provides to potentially allowing deadly Megalodons to escape from their undersea home and into the inhabited waters of nearby islands. Naturally, of course, The Meg's get loose and the mining operation was a mistake, and you know all of this before you ever get to this point in the movie. 

The trailer has already told you that Jonas has a fight against Meg's in which he's trying to spear them. Thus, there is no tension or suspense, the movie has promised this fight at if it hasn't happened yet, then why should you worry that our characters might not survive the underwater fight sequence we suffer through for most of the second act of The Meg 2: The Trench. Not that the movie was ever going to place Jason Statham in a context where he might not survive, that's silly, he has main character powers. The only minor suspense in The Meg 2: The Trench is who, other than Statham and Jonas' step-daughter, have main character powers strong enough to never be in danger. 

Spoiler alert, most of the characters you see in The Meg 2: The Trench, have main character powers. This means there is incredibly little tension or excitement in the movie. The danger feels forced and perfunctory. Each action set piece lacks in pacing and believability. It's all very silly but not silly in a fun way, silly in a fashion that leads to eye rolling. The makers of The Meg 2: The Trench needed to lean into the silliness and respect the fact that they are making a big dumb blockbuster. Sadly, there is a dour, dispirited quality to The Meg 2: The Trench that prevents camp, ironic appreciation of the film from setting in. 

I did laugh during The Meg 2: The Trench but I don't get the sense that I was laughing at something intended to be funny. These weren't the kind of tension breaking cathartic laughs that a movie like this should inspire. Rather, this was derisive laughter, laughing at the movie rather than with the movie. It's not so much laughing at the ballsy absurdity of the film, something the Fast and the Furious franchise thrives on. No, this was more of a 'wow, this is really dumb kind of laugh that accompanies an eye roll and a check of your phone to see how much longer the movie is. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 



Movie Review Fast X

Fast X (2023) 

Directed by Louis Letterier 

Written by Dan Mazeau, Justin Lin 

Starring Vin Diesel, Jason Mamoa, Tyrese, Charlize Theron, Paget Brewster, John Cena, Michelle Rodriguez, Ludacris, Sung Kang, Jason Statham, Helen Mirren

Release Date May 19th, 2023 

Published May 19th, 2023 

What is there to say about Fast X? If you aren't fully onboard with the utter nonsense that is the Fast and Furious franchise at this point, why are you bothering? I happen to be fully on board for this nonsense. I fell in love with the silly, testosterone fueled nonsense in 2001 and have remained in love with this nonsense as it morphed from being about street racers pulling small scale criminal heists -they literally stole DVD players and VCRs out of semis in the original- to today when everyone is basically an immortal superhero. 

You have to accept a lot of B.S when you accept the Fast franchise. Take, for instance, where we begin in Fast X. Dom (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) begin the film back in L.A, back in what may be their old neighborhood. These are people who still live with a deep, paranoid fear that people are trying to kill them and they are living exactly where anyone trying to find them will find them, very easily, with little to no effort. 

The movie openly admits this as the plot kicks off with the person who has hunted them for the past two films, Cypher (Charlize Theron), finds their house and knocks on the door. Cypher is battered and bruised. She's bleeding from some sort of wound to her abdomen. She tells Dom and Letty that she sought them out because the person who did this is even more evil than herself. He's so evil that she wants to join their side to fight him. 

That man is Dante Reyes (Jason Mamoa) whose father, Herman Reyes (Joachim De Almeida) was killed during Fast crew's heist of a vault full of cash in Rio De Janeiro, as seen in flashback here and in full in Fast Five. Dante doesn't want to kill Dom, he wants to make him suffer. That means targeting Dom's family and trying to kill anyone who has ever help the Toretto family. Why he doesn't just roll into the L.A suburbs and do his business, I have no idea. 

Instead, Dante, being all kinds of extra, decides to blow up the Vatican and frame Dom's crew for the crime. It's as brazen and silly as that sounds. A portion of Vatican City is destroyed but exposition newscaster, one of the unsung heroes of this franchise, tells us that no one was killed. A giant bomb took out a portion of a massive tourist destination and no one was killed. Everyone in the Fast universe is a superhero. I don't know if this 'no one was killed' nonsense extends to the cops chasing Dom and his crew through the streets of Rome but if they didn't die, there is no death in this universe. 

This sequence is utterly bonkers and I loved it. I did. I loved it. It's total, non-stop, nonsense but it's so much fun. The bomb is a giant ball that rolls out of the back of a semi-truck and will not stop rolling as if Rome were nothing but a tilted table. At one point, the bomb rolls over a gas pump and the pumps explode. Dom uses his car to shield people on the street from the explosion. The bomb continues to roll but is now on fire as Dom chases it in his super-car. It's gloriously stupid and I love it. 

If Fast X lacks, it's due to director Louis Letterier who leans too far into the dour, sourpuss, self-seriousness of Dominic Toretto. Where Justin Lin and F. Gary Gray got how silly this series is and embraced the giddy stupidity, Letterier takes things in the direction that Diesel wants to go, treating the nonsense seriously and threatening to upend the strength of this franchise, how it is embraces its own nuttiness and leans into the criticism of it being the loudest, brainless franchise in Hollywood. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 



Movie Review Operation Fortune Ruse de Guerre

Operation Fortune Ruse de Guerre (2023) 

Directed by Guy Ritchie 

Written by Ivan Atkinson, Marn Davies, Guy Ritchie 

Starring Jason Statham, Cary Elwes, Aubrey Plaza, Hugh Grant 

Release Date March 3rd, 2023 

Published March 5th, 2023 

Operation Fortune Ruse de Guerre is not unlike every other super-team of spies movie you've seen before. The mission is the same as any Mission Impossible and the silly traps and pitfalls are very similar to a Fast and Furious flick. So, that being said, why am I still recommending it? Because it's so much fun, of course. Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre takes the familiar tropes of Spy movies and gives them a kick in the pants courtesy of an unbelievably fantastic cast, clever incident, and fast paced direction from a master of the genre action flick. 

Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre begins by creating a MacGuffin, the Hitchcock term for that thing that everyone in the movie wants. It doesn't matter what it is, it only matters that EVERYONE wants it and everyone has a reason to want it. In this case, the people who want it are an independent paramilitary outfit, the world's most charismatic arms dealer, and a British Government who knows what is at stake if either of the baddies vying for the prize manage to get their hands on the MacGuffin. 

The British Government has a specific plan in place for when things like this happen: They call Oscar Fortune (Jason Statham). Oscar Fortune is the world's greatest spy, and its most expensive and demanding. Via his handler, Jasmine (Cary Elwes), Fortune has a team and a series of demands that must be met before he will go into action mode. Fortune requires a large private plane, he's claustrophobic, he needs wine from very specifically expensive years and brands, and he needs his team. Once this price is met, he will take on a mission. 

This time around, not all of Oscar's demands are being met. It seems that his usual tech sidekick has sold out to the highest bidder and thus is not available for this job. Oscar is forced to settle for American newcomer, Sarah Fidel (Aubrey Plaza). She's a good fit, despite constantly taking the piss out of Oscar's cool guy spy persona. On the bright side for Oscar, he does have his usual muscle, J.J (Bugsy Malone). J.J is a smooth, soulful, rather brilliant man who happens to be a hulking mass of a man who is incredible with weapons of any kind. 








Movie Review: Death Race

Death Race (2008) 

Directed by Paul W.S Anderson 

Written by Paul W.S Anderson 

Starring Jason Statham, Joan Allen, Tyrese Gibson, Ian McShane

Release Date August 22nd, 2008

Published August 22nd, 2008

The description of Roger Corman's 1975 cult classic reads like a description of the latest Grand Theft Auto-style videogame. Racing across the country in souped up death cars, drivers in the death race get points not merely for winning but for killing opponents and pedestrians alike. Points are assigned for killing particular types of pedestrians such as old people or children.

A controversial premise back in 1975 becomes something only eye brow raising today thanks to the rise of the first person killer videogame. Why then did writer-director Paul W.S Anderson abandon the gimmick for his modern Death Race remake? Who knows.

In the new Death Race Jason Statham stars as Jensen Aimes, a former Nascar driver convicted of murdering his wife. The reality is that Aimes was framed for his wife's murder by Hennessey (Joan Allen) who needed him in her prison to drive in the ratings champion Death Race. Her former top draw Frankenstein has died and ratings have been dropping ever since.

However, after hiding Frank's death from the public and helped by the fact that he wore a mask, Hennessey plans on subbing Jensen for for Frank. The Death Race features some of the most violent and disturbed men in the world including the multiple murder convict Machine Gun Joe (Tyrese Gibson) and the man who actually killed Aimes' wife, Ulrich (Jason Clarke), driving cars equipped with weapons. The goal, win the race and kill your fellow racers. Win five races in a row and you win your freedom.

The plot construct of Paul W.S Anderson drives wildly off course from the Corman original. The future setting of this death race for some reason includes giant prison colonies, corporate run prisons and other such unnecessary nonsense. The race itself is an whole other kind of nonsense. It's called Death Race yet racers have survived race after race so well that each of the 8 to 10 racers has their own history and fanbase.

Then Jensen joins and suddenly racers are dying left and right. Half way through this death race Hennessy introduces a new danger, a giant truck filled with her henchman that begins killing racers. She seems to have instructed it to kill everyone but then there wouldn't be any more death racers and their is half a race left?

Now, I realize I am injected logic where none is welcome, this is after all a supremely dumb action flick and not some high minded drama. But, when the action is as lame as that of Death Race, I am left only to my logical mind to survive such tripe. Pulling apart the ludicrous nature of Paul W.S Anderson's script just gives me something to do while I wait for the movie to be over.

Aside from his good work in The Bank Job, Jason Statham's act has gotten supremely tired. The Transporter movies, Crank, War, Statham is playing the same character over and over and over again, varying only the character name. Sure, sometimes, as in War, he speaks with a slightly more clipped pace, but otherwise it's no different.

His Jensen Aimes is merely his Transporter sent to prison. Writers and directors may as well start naming his character Jason Statham just to make things as simple as possible for the action star. Even the sense of humor he developed working with pal Guy Richie on Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch has devolved into a tired, unfunny, deadpan.

Death Race never set out to be anything more than a cheap, second rate, z-movie. Roger Corman was even kind enough to add his imprimatur just to make sure you didn't expect to much quality from this enterprise. But, most of the credit for the crappiness of Death Race falls on Paul W.S Anderson who adds to his resume of debacles from Resident Evil to Alien Vs Predator, another stupidly violent, mind numbingly idiotic, action flick.

Movie Review: Transporter 3

Transporter 3 (2008) 

Directed by Olivier Megaton

Written by Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen 

Starring Jason Statham, Natalya Rudakova 

Release Date November 26th, 2008

Published November 27th, 2008

Memo to the producers of the upcoming Cannonball Run remake (I know you're out there): if you haven't already made Jason Statham an exorbitant offer to appear in your movie, don't bother making it. No, The Transporter is not exactly an iconic character on which makes such great demands. But, the Transporter movies having made a few hundred million combined at the worldwide box office, the character has earned enough cultural cache to deserve to be a one off punchline in a throwaway remake. It's the least you could do.

Yes Transporter fans (I know your out there, put down the Grand Theft Auto for a moment) Frank Martin is back. Who the hell is Frank Martin? He's the Transporter. Nevermind. He's Jason Statham in the Transporter movies. Nevermind. He's the bullet headed guy who beats people up and drives fast. You're really making this too difficult.

Back behind the wheel of his newest edition Audi, Frank Martin has a new 'package' to deliver. Her name is Valentina (Natalya Rudakova) and she is the daughter of the head of the Russian equivalent of the EPA. The russkie dad doesn't want to let some American industrialist park nuclear waste in his back yard so the industrialist has thugs kidnap the russkies' daughter and give her to Frank.

Why Frank? Who knows. She is a hostage? Yes. Why don't they just hold on to her until they get what they want? Because then we couldn't have cool car chases and scenes where Jason Statham beats people up for asking such questions about this ludicrous plot.

Anyway, before I so rudely interrupted myself with unwelcome logic, Frank will drive the girl across Europe to Asia. If he doesn't do as he is told he will blow up. He was drugged and had a bracelet attached that will go boom if he gets 75 feet away from his car. No points for guessing that that whole 75 feet from the car thing will come back in the final face off with the bad guys.

The Transporter 1,2 and now 3 are not about logic. If they were then Frank wouldn't have been so surprised to find his package is a beautiful woman, as has been the case in each of the other Transporter movies. Logically? Pattern recognition might kick in and Frank would consider moving somewhere where people don't know where he lives and thus can't drug him and place exploding bracelets on him.

Logically.

But this isn't about logic, coherence or even a movie. It's about stunts and lots of them. Frank jumps a car off of a bridge and uses James Bond's classic underwater tire breathing trick. Later, Frank drives that water logged car off an over pass and on to the top of a moving train. Later, still on the train, he jumps the car from one car through the roof of another one.

Who needs logic when you don't give a rats ass for even the basics of physics.

It reads as if I hated Transporter 3. I didn't. It's not bad as far as cheap thrills go. I'm generally not a 'turn off your brain' kind of guy. However, catch me in the right mood and I can be forgiving of even the most illogic of leaps. Transporter caught me in just one of those moods and I found myself smiling my way through much of the blasted ludicrousness.

I particularly enjoyed the work of French actor Francois Berleand as Frank's French cop pal. As the only character who seems to remember having been through this before his nonchalant attitude toward Frank's astonishing acts is charming. He is either bored or simply unimpressed with his old friend's antics and his manner is quite amusing in the brief glimpses of him we get in between the driving and the beatings.

Transporter 3 was directed by someone  named Olivier Megaton. The explosive name is a fake, for those you with zero cognitive activity. He bestowed the moniker on himself to describe his audacious style. He may well have only got this gig based on that name. That he delivered big explosions is only him living up to the promise of his name. His next film should just be called 'Explosion'. As demonstrated in Transporter 3, he needs not a plot, just pyrotechnics and he can dazzle the willing masses.

Again, I implore you Cannonball Run producers, a cameo or even a starring role. Either works. Just make sure he drives an Audi A1 and gets to beat on someone. It's comic gold. You'll thank me later.

Movie Review: Crank 2 High Voltage

Crank 2 High Voltage (2009) 

Directed Neveldine and Taylor 

Written by Neveldine and Taylor

Starring Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Bai Ling, Dwight Yoakam

Release Date April 17th, 2009 

Published April 19th, 2009 

Warning: This review gives away the final image of the new movie Crank 2: High Voltage. If for some misguided reason you want to see this excremental awfulness in theaters, unspoiled, you may want to wait to read this review. I don't recommend you see this movie at all so keep reading.

The final image of the new action disaster Crank 2: High Voltage is star Jason Statham on fire flipping the middle finger to the audience. Standing with the skin burning and peeling away from his bullet like skull, Statham's Chev Chelios finds the strength to extend his middle finger and smile in one last salute to an audience that has already wasted more than 80 minutes of their precious lives and 8 to 12 of their precious dollars.

For co-directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor this is what passes for clever and or subversive. Just don't confuse it for entertaining boys. Then again, I am sure that was never your intention. The fact is Neveldine and Taylor, juvenile pranksters that they are, approach Crank 2 not unlike Tom Green approached Freddy Got Fingered, not as a privelege to be able to make a movie but as a licence to see how far the moneyed class will let them go in spreading filth all over film screens.

In that instance Neveldine and Taylor are heedless. They dive headlong into the idea of being allowed to do whatever they want onscreen. From disturbing violence, a man cuts off his own nipples, to outright pornography, Statham's Chev Chelios has sex with his girlfriend played by Amy Smart in graphic fashion on a horse racing track, in front of a cheering crowd. Amy Smart, I'm sure your parents are very proud of you today.

The naughty bits are pixellated during the sex scenes, the one likely nod to studio oversight. But the nipple thing, that was OK. Now, as I write this I can imagine Neveldine and Taylor giggling like school children. Why? Because this kind of puritanical reaction is just what they were hoping for. However, when even someone as liberal as myself is offended by a movie it says something.

So what is the value of making a movie with the intent to offend? Provocative for the sake of provocative is something akin to making a movie inside a vacuum. Like filming an inside joke. I am certain that Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor are somewhere laughing. The rest of us I gather got what we were intended to get from Crank 2 in that final image.

Movie Review The Expendables

The Expendables (2010) 

Directed by Sylvester Stallone

Written by David Callaham, Sylvester Stallone 

Starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Stone Cold Steve Austin

Release Date August 13th, 2010 

Published August 12th, 2010

Take your hands and press them against the sides of your head. Now, hold them there and press as hard as you can. Stay that way for the next 103 minutes and you will have an equivalent experience to having seen “The Expendables,” Sylvester Stallone's latest desperate attempt to remain relevant.

”The Expendables” stars Stallone alongside a rogue’s gallery of has-beens, wannabes, never-wears and Oscar nominee Mickey Rourke lending his rediscovered cool to the proceedings. The has beens include Jason Statham and Jet Li as Christmas and Yang, two of Stallone's, aka Barney, fellow mercenaries for hire, former military specialists now available to the highest bidder.

Also on the team UFC champion Randy Couture, former NFL player Terry Crews and sad, pathetic former B-movie star Dolph Lundgren. Together this ragtag band is off to some unknown isle to battle today's bad guy du jour, the rogue CIA agent. This time he's played by Eric Roberts in fine high camp form.

Stallone wrote, directed and stars in “The Expendables'' and much like his previous auteurist efforts like “Rocky ..2”.. through infinity and the recent “Rambo'' reboot, “The Expendables'' has flashes of inspiration but is mostly amateurish, off key and gut punching loud and violent. Clearly, this won't be an issue for the core of Stallone's audience, those already punch-drunk from months of UFC pay per views and neck vein popping work outs. For those seeking coherence or a story The Expendables is torturous. Call it water-boarding for the soul. 

There are times when “The Expendables” feels as if it is pummeling the audience's visual and auditory fists. Stallone and his editing team cut “The Expendables” in a fashion that will spin the heads of even the most cut friendly music video directors. Fight scenes are placed in a blender with images so randomly thrust forward it's impossible to tell whose head is being busted. 

This likely helped the aging cast look a little sprayer; Mr. Statham is the only member of the male cast under the age of 40. I say male cast rather unnecessarily as Charisma Carpenter and Giselle Itie are the only female cast members but neither is nothing more than a minor damsel in distress subplot. 

When “The Expendables” slows down for moments of dialogue the editing remains front and center thanks to Sly's bizarre angles; he really thinks angling off of mirrors is clever direction. If you manage to not be distracted by the editing be prepared for nonsense dialogue meant to make the characters seem quirky, instead it just makes the whole movie flaky and cheese ridden. 

I would love to say that you could enjoy “The Expendables” on a camp level, especially the scene featuring Stallone hanging off the side of a sea plane on take off in fine physics defying fashion, but sadly the whole of “The Expendables” is too harsh for any enjoyment to escape.

Even “The Expendables” centerpiece bit of camp, Stallone uniting his old Planet Hollywood pals Bruce Willis and Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, falls flat because  of Stallone's bizarre direction. Through odd camera angles and strange cuts it's impossible to tell if Schwarzenegger, Willis and Stallone were ever actually on screen at the same time. Willis and Stallone are in frame together briefly and Stallone and Schwarzenegger are as well but never all three unless Stallone's editing team was truly so horrible that they cut the three shots, that's possible.

What's more likely is that this meeting of the action hero minds never happened and was faked in the editing. To be fair, it was a cheap ploy anyway, hard to criticize it for that. Still, it's disappointing, especially when seeing Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Willis together on screen, even for 2 or 3 minutes of mindless exposition, was the one minor pleasure that might have escaped the dreariness that is “The Expendables.”

Movie Review: War

War (2007) 

Directed by Cory Yuen 

Written by Lee Anthony Smith, Gregory J. Bradley

Starring Jason Statham, Jet Li, Devon Aoki, Luis Guzman, Saul Rubinek

Release Date August 24th, 2007

Published August 24th, 2007

What a cool idea! Put Jet Li and Jason Statham together in a movie and have them beat the holy hell out of each other. It's the urban action movie equivalent of Freddy Vs Jason, if it's done right. You can't just put them in the same movie and then not deliver on the badass, hand to hand beatdown. Sadly, War does not deliver on this promise. This mindless shoot'em up places Li and Statham on opposite ends of a gang war and then, when it finally comes down to the two of them, as you know it should, War becomes a minor police action.

Jason Statham stars in War as Crawford a San Francisco FBI agent specializing in Asian crime gangs, the Yakuza and the Triads. When his partner and his family is murdered by the top Triad assassin, known only as Rogue (Jet Li), Crawford abandons his own loving wife and small child and goes on a three year, non-stop mission to find and kill Rogue.

After years of Rogue reshaping his face and globetrotting all over the world, he finally returns to San Francisco in unusual fashion. Having been the top assassin for the Triads, he returns to San Francisco and begins killing top Triad lieutenants. Soon he is helping the Yakuza obtain priceless art from the Triads only to then get the Triad guys killed. Essentially, Rogue has gone Rogue and is starting a war to kill off both gangs.

Crawford recognizes what Rogue is up too but cannot get past the death of his partner. Whether Rogue is doing him and the world a favor by eliminating two of the world's top crime organizations, Crawford still intends to kill Rogue. Thus the set up for what should be an epic showdown. Bullets fly, hundreds of extras are gunned down, all leading to the climactic head to head. And then.... And then...

Nothing. Well, not quite nothing. Jet Li and Jason Statham do get to go head to head but the fight, as choreographed and directed by Cory Yuen, it's beyond anti-climactic. Held at the mercy of a rather ludicrous plot twist, the fight is almost reserved, even genteel by Li and Statham standards. It ends at the mercy of the plot twist and the letdown drags down the whole film.

Though Jason Statham and Jet Li have worked together before in 2001's The One. However, they weren't really on the same star plain at that time. Statham was still a rising star and that interesting sci fi action flick ended not with Li vs Statham but Jet vs Jet Li. War finds Jet Li and Jason Statham as equals, Statham having rode The Transporter flicks to action star status, thus anticipation for their face off was high.

The whole movie lives and dies on Statham against Li and when director Cory Yuen blows that, he blows the whole picture. The fight is listless, uninspired and, as edited, almost incomprehensible. Then, of course, it ends too quickly at the mercy of one of the dumber plot twists we've seen in a while. If War were a better movie, the plot twist would have ruined it, as it is the plot twist only makes a bad situation worse.

War is a disappointment on even the modest scale of anticipation that greeted it. Action fans who wanted a knock down, drag out, hand to hand face off between Jet Li and Jason Statham will find little but disappointment in War. Li, as he has confessed in interviews, has clearly lost a step which may have contributed to the lackluster fight, but that does not excuse the failure of this potentially explosive face off.

If Jet Li couldn't go, he shouldn't have made the movie. Marketers should have especially not sold the film as a War between Jet Li and Jason Statham. What a jip.

Movie Review The Bank Job

The Bank Job (2008) 

Directed by Roger Donaldson

Written by Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais 

Starring Jason Statham, Saffron Burrows, Mick Jagger 

Release Date February 19th, 2008 

Published June 22nd, 2008 

The words 'based on a true story' are always a little sketchy in Hollywood. Take for instance the new to DVD movie "The Bank Job" starring Jason Statham. This London set crime thriller is based on a real 1970 bank heist where the culprits escaped without punishment and the crime remains unsolved. If you think I gave away too much there, trust me this Bank Job has more surprises than any spoiler I could give you.

London has been rife with conspiracy theories for years as to the how and the why of these criminals and their astonishing escape from justice. The most tantalizing theory goes all the way to Buckingham Palace and a safety deposit box with some very interesting royal blackmail material.

As for the movie itself.

Jason Statham, the intense, bullet-headed star of the Transporter movies, stars in The Bank Job as Terry Leathers. A former thief and thug, Terry has gone legit selling and repairing high end automobiles. Not making much money in his new profession he is quite receptive when an old flame approaches him with a money making opportunity. The old flame is Martine (Saffron Burrows) who, unknown to Terry, has just been busted by MI5 and needs Terry's help to get her out of trouble. He thinks she is offering the opportunity to rob a bank. In reality MI5 wants her to obtain the contents of a particular safe deposit box.

Who that box belongs to and what is inside it are just the kind of sexy details that make for one heck of a guilty pleasure movie. The Bank Job is exactly that. Clever, if not exactly brilliant, The Bank Job is what I like to call a mouse trap movie, quick, precise and deathly effective. Director Roger Donaldson directs The Bank Job with a swift, no frills style that focuses on the action and lets the plot do the talking. The seemingly extraneous are actually integral elements of the plot and no strand is left untied up until the very end.

Jason Statham is the perfect star for this kind of gritty, fast paced action. With his tough guy looks and badass accent, Statham is the kind of guy who looks like trouble follows him everywhere. The former supermodel Saffron Burrows matches Statham's grit with smoldering good looks and the combo is smokin 'hot.

The Bank Job is quick and to the point while telling a clever story with the kind of guilty pleasures and thriller elements that make for classic B-Movie excitement. That it's 'based on a true story' gives it another level of kinky thrill. Who cares how much is true and how much is Hollywood, it's all a whole lot of fun.

Movie Review: The Transporter

The Transporter (2002) 

Directed by Cory Yuen 

Written by Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen

Starring Jason Statham, Shu Qui, Ric Young 

Release Date October 11th, 2002 

Published October 10th, 2002 

It is rumored that Die Another Day will be the last Bond film for Pierce Brosnan. Many names have come up as possible replacements. Superstars like Mel Gibson and Matt Damon, lesser knowns such as Clive Owen and Colin Farrell, and some actors are even doing films that seem calculated to make them a candidate for this most coveted role. Such seems the case for Jason Statham in The Transporter. Whether this blithe, quick-paced action picture is meant as a Bond audition is just speculation, but it does raise some eyebrows.

Statham plays Frank, known to his employers only as the transporter, a professional deliverer of packages with extreme circumstances. In the opening scene, we see Frank performing his services for a group of bank robbers. When the robbers attempt to change the deal Frank explains the rules and refuses to move until the deal is met as originally negotiated. The opening scene is a perfect introduction to Frank as a straight-ahead businessman, coldly professional and precise. On Frank’s next job, he transports another package but on his way to the drop-off, Frank breaks one of his rules. He opens the package, which happens to be an Asian girl named Lai (Qiu Shu).

Though troubled by his delivery he follows through, but his employers are upset because he opened the package and they try to kill him. From there, it’s obvious where the film is going. How the film gets where it’s going is more important than where.

Director Corey Yuen sharply films his action scenes, giving Statham every opportunity look cool and kickass. My favorite scene is a fight in a bus depot involving Frank, a group of highly dispensable henchman and a couple barrels of motor oil. Yuen even plays up the James Bond style action with scene that obviously crib from the 007 legend.

The Transporter has it’s share of faults. The score is a horrible techno mélange, the dialogue is typically dumbheaded and plodding and the supporting cast, particularly the bad guys, are poorly drawn and faceless. As I searched IMDB for the name of the main bad guy, I couldn’t even remember the name of the character and thus I don’t know the actor’s name.

So is The Transporter a good screen test for Statham as Bond? Well it couldn’t hurt. No one candidate has emerged so taking a part in a film with many Bond elements is a good introduction to show producers. Though some may say Statham isn’t good looking enough (balding and scruffy), marketers would say he’s “ruggedly handsome.” If anything, The Transporter should be enough to get him on the list.

Movie Review: Crank

Crank (2006) 

Directed by Neveldine and Taylor

Written by Neveldine and Taylor

Starring Jason Statham, Amy Smart, Dwight Yoakam, Erfren Ramirez 

Release Date September 1st, 2006 

Published August 31st, 2006

Jason Statham is right up there with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in the competition to replace the old guard action hero's; Stallone, Van Damme and Schwarznegger. With his two Transporter flicks; Statham established his badass credentials. All that Statham lacks is the easy charisma and sense of humor that The Rock is gifted with. In his latest flick Crank, Statham delivers yet another badass performance but the highly adrenalized Crank also exposes Statham's weaknesses as much as his strengths.

Hitman Chev Chelios (Statham) is having a truly awful morning. He has awakened from one nightmare into another as he finds that he has been killed in his sleep. A rival hitman, Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo), has dosed Chev with a poison called the Beijing cocktail. This poison will slowly snake through Chev's system until it shuts down his heart.

According to his doctor (Dwight Yoakam); Chev has maybe an hour to live unless he can keep his heart rate very high. What Chev needs are massive amounts of adrenaline in whatever way he can get it. Dying a slow death either way; Chev vows to stay alive long enough to say goodbye to his clueless girlfriend Eve (Amy Smart) and to kill Verona and all of his henchman.

Written and directed by the team of Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, Crank is pure trash, B picture exploitation. Reminiscent of a pair of 2006 chase pictures with similarly lowbrow ambition, Tyrese's Waist Deep and Paul Walker's Running Scared, Crank gets a running start and pauses only for tacky sex scenes and overblown violence.

Crank sets itself apart from the others with a pair of humiliating sex scenes that take the career of poor Amy Smart an flush it down the B movie toilet. In the first of two scenes Smart is raped on the streets of L.A's Chinatown. I say raped, the scene begins as a rape but to make the scene more mortifying she begins to enjoy and participate willingly. Later as Chev's heart begins to slow during a chase scene, Smart's character performs oral sex while Statham drives and shoots bad guys.

Smart is not the only woman treated with little regard in Crank, merely the best known. All other women seen in Crank are dressed in next to nothing and placed in plastic cubes where they are ogled by bad guys. The film also takes time to rip gays and make stereotypical use of its few African American characters. Neveldine and Talyor, I'm sure, would say they are merely being politically incorrect, tweaking the conventions of the masses and other such justifications. That would be interesting if it served a metaphoric purpose; but Crank is just a violent, exploitation chase picture, it lacks the depth to defend its anti-PC attitude.

There is no denying the badass appeal of star Jason Statham. With his bullet shaped head and intense gaze, he is beyond intimidating. Unfortunately, when forced to get to the core of a character -beyond the act of simply killing a man- he is an empty vessel. He is all physicality and no mentality. Statham in Crank is an unstoppable killing machine who takes on an occasional bit of black humor and wit but mostly is just a machine pushed by the plot toward his next violent encounter.

Crank has a visceral power to it that comes from it's propellant plot. That power however, is dissipated by the directors need to be shocking and crude. The two high speed sex scenes in Crank are gratuitous and though the plot tries to makes them seem necessary that does not change their exploitative nature. Watching Amy Smart in these scenes should be titillating; she is a very attractive woman. Rather than titillating however, I felt nothing but pity for Smart who is made to look like an even less willing version of Chloe Sevigny in The Brown Bunny.

Is Jason Statham the next great action hero? The box office will determine that. Myself? I'll take The Rock whose combination of physicality and humor is the perfect combination of action hero violence and wit. Statham is not unappealing; he simply lacks range. Watching Crank you can barely make out any differences between Chev Chelios and the character Statham played in two The Transporter movies. 

Movie Review: Transporter 2

Transporter 2 (2005) 

Directed by Louis Letterier

Written by Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen 

Starring Jason Statham, Amber Valletta, Keith David, Matthew Modine, Jason Flemying 

Release Date September 2nd, 2005 

Published September 2nd, 2005 

The first Transporter movie was a rather innocuous exercise in combining American style action movies with Asian style violence and European locales. Memorable only for its rising star Jason Statham, The Transporter made little box office noise before being shuffled off to DVD. It is in this fast growing market that a small cult formed. For some reason people started buying the DVD and an underground of Frank Martin fans managed to turn the DVD into a big enough hit that a sequel was necessary. Four years after the original made its minor box office impact, Transporter 2 hits the screen with a fury that box office hits are made of.

Jason Statham returns as Frank Martin, a character he created for a stylish car commercial some four years ago. That lead to The Transporter in which ace getaway driver Frank Martin is hired to deliver a package that he finds out is actually a human being, a really sexy Asian woman to be precise. Violating his rules of non-involvement in his clients' business Frank set about releasing the girl and protecting her from his thug clients.

Four years later, the sexy Asian woman is a memory as is Frank's dangerous past. Now living in Florida, Frank has taken a gig as driver and bodyguard for the 8 year old son of a high profile government executive named Billings (Matthew Modine). Frank was hired at the behest of Mrs. Billings (Amber Valleta) who was concerned that her son might be the target of kidnappers because of her husband's high profile job.

Oh how right she was. On a routine trip to a doctor's office Frank and the boy are attacked by a group of thugs lead by the super sexy and psychotic Lola (model, Kate Nauta). After a massive action sequence culminating as they often do in this film with a giant fireball, the boy is eventually taken and only Frank Martin can save him.

The plot is far more complicated then that however.  Eventually it involves a hired hitman played by Alessandro Gassman, and a deadly virus spread through breathing that has only a limited amount of antidote. The plot is dopey and convoluted but who cares.  The action surrounding the goofy plot is what makes Transporter 2 the kind of enjoyable action junk not seen since the heyday of Jean Claude Van Damme.

Jason Statham, auditioning for the James Bond gig, has his stone-faced intensity and agile fighting stance in full effect in Transporter 2. Even in the film's most outrageous contrivances Statham's taciturn charisma and dangerous demeanor draws you in and helps you forget about the number of times he outruns giant, physics defying fireballs and survives ridiculous explosions, car wrecks and a plane crash.

Even more durable than Statham is his 2006 Lexus which is scratch proof, bullet proof and nearly bomb proof. The driving stunts are, as they were in the first film, exciting and well executed but really nothing more than a commercial for the car itself. In fairness, it's a gorgeous vehicle and the makers of Transporter 2 do a wonderful job of showing it off. It's basically Statham's top supporting cast member and as silly as that sounds, it works for this ultimately silly action movie. 

Director Louis Leterrier is no stranger to popcorn action junk. Earlier this year he delivered the awesomely entertaining actioner Unleashed with Jet Li. In Transporter 2 he brings that same sense of action and fun. Fight scenes choreographed by Cory Yuen, who performed the same task in the first film, have the feel of Jackie Chan's comedic approach to combat, combined with Jet Li's power. Watch out for a scene in which Frank employs a fire hose ala Jackie Chan and an awesomely coordinated scene with a pair of handcuffs similar to a scene in Jet Li's The One.

That is not to say that Transporter 2 is derivative but that it's a movie with keen awareness of its influences. Leterrier, a French Director and protégée of Luc Besson (who wrote both Transporter films), is developing a reputation for his love for and emulation of Asian style action and acrobatics. His love for this material showed greatly in Unleashed and continues remarkably well here.

Another well-acknowledged influence is American style action junk ala Van Damme or Seagal. Transporter 2 lifts heavily from the conventions and clichés of 80's and 90's action movies but with a slightly more stylish execution and a sly knowing wink to break the spell of earnestness that makes so many of those oh-so -serious action vehicles so campy in retrospect.

Transporter 2 is just wall to wall goofiness grounded, somewhat, by the sly but serious performance of star Jason Statham. Regardless of how outlandish the film's stunts and plot are you cannot help but enjoy watching Statham walk through it all with stoic dignity. This is the kind of movie star presence that made Mel Gibson a superstar in Lethal Weapon or at the very least made Steven Seagal a lot of money in a short period of time.

Whether this will be enough to land Statham his dream role as 007 is questionable but the producers would be smart to take a long look at both Statham and director Louis Leterrier, both of whom could bring some lively action to the moribund spy series.

Movie Review The Italian Job

The Italian Job (2003) 

Directed by F Gary Gray 

Written by Donna Powers, Wayne Powers 

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron, Edward Norton, Seth Green, Jason Statham, Donald Sutherland

Release Date May 30th, 2003 

Published May 29th, 2003 

What is it with Mark Wahlberg and remakes of classic movies? Last year it was the Cary Grant spy flick Charade “reimagined” as The Truth About Charlie. And of course, you remember him in that ape movie. Now it's a 1969 caper flick better known for its car chase then its caper plot. Wahlberg takes the role once inhabited by Sir Michael Caine as a master thief who is double crossed by his partner and wants payback in The Italian Job.

The title is a reference to the film’s opening caper set against the canals of Venice. Inside a beautiful villa, a group of thieves led by Charlie (Wahlberg) and his former mentor John Bridger (Donald Sutherland, inheriting the role from none other than Noel Coward). The rest of the crew includes Charlie's second in command Steve (Edward Norton), the weapons expert Left Ear (Mos Def), the computer expert Lyle (Seth Green) and the wheelman Handsome Rob (Jason Statham).

The so-called Italian job comes off perfectly, and the crew is set to walk away with 35 million in gold. That is until Steve double crosses the crew, steals the gold and shoots John. Charlie and the rest of the crew are nearly killed attempting to get away, setting in motion the film’s revenge plot. Cut to Philadelphia where John's daughter Stella (Charlize Theron) works as a security expert, cracking uncrackable safes for the police department, a skill she picked up from her dad. When Charlie tells her that they have found Steve and plan on getting the gold back, she is down for some payback.

So what makes The Italian Job any different from the numerous heist flicks that have dotted the film landscape in recent years? Pretty much nothing. Like most films of its genre, it has double-crosses, twists, and action. It has murders, a gangster subplot and, of course, a supremely contrived, overly complicated series of heist scenes that involve all sorts of techno-gadgetry and split second timing but always break down to guys with guns.

I realize that it's difficult to criticize a remake for being unoriginal but I must protest the number of unoriginal, uninspired clichés the film employs. Particularly annoying is the use of the age-old reveal scene. The one in which it seems a character is doing one thing but it turns out they are doing something entirely different. In this case, it's Theron cracking a safe, seeming to rob it but in reality, she's cracking it for the cops, as per her job as a security expert. Ugh.

Director F. Gary Gray's one weapon against the been-there-done-that story is his unique visual style and slickness. Gray has that music video honed talent for pacing. It comes from condensing songs to three or four minute visuals for MTV and it's a talent that will someday be recognized. That talent serves Gray well in keeping the audience from thinking too long about the film’s familiar story elements.

Gray is also blessed with an excellent cast headed up by Mark Wahlberg. I'm starting to notice Wahlberg's real knack for melting from topline star into ensemble player. He did it in The Truth About Charlie where he clearly gave the movie away to Thandie Newton. He also did it in Planet of The Apes where, though he was clearly the hero, he still allowed the ape suited Helena Bonham Carter every opportunity to stand in the spotlight. Here, teamed with a charismatic crew of Jason Statham, Mos Def and Seth Green, Wahlberg has an ensemble worthy of ceding the spotlight to. And though I loath to admit it, I actually enjoyed the work of Charlize Theron, who until this film had been to me like nails on a chalkboard.

The Italian Job is familiar and predictable but not dull. It's another Saturday night rental worthy of sitting next to Wahlberg's The Truth About Charlie and Statham's The Transporter and Gray's The Negotiator. Slight, witty action movies that may lack substance but never lacks entertainment value.

Movie Review: The Meg

The Meg (2017) 

Directed by John Turteltaub 

Written by Dean Georgaris, John and Erich Hoeber 

Starring Jason Statham, Li Bingbing, Rainn Wilson, Ruby Rose, Winston Chao, Cliff Curtis 

Release Date August 10th, 2017 

Published August 9th, 2017 


The Meg stars Jason Statham as Jonas, a deep water rescue expert. When we meet Jonas for the first time he’s at the bottom of the ocean, inside a crashed submarine trying to save members of the crew. Unfortunately, something outside the sub is crushing it and Jonas is forced to make a terrible and tragic choice: save some of the crew and leave others behind or have everyone die at the hands of a monster only he believes is real.

Cut to five years later, Jonas is living as a drunken hermit in Thailand when he gets a call from his friend, Mack (Cliff Curtis) telling him that his ex-wife, Lori (Jessica McNamee) and two other crew members are trapped in disabled sub at the bottom of the ocean. By bottom of the ocean, we’re not talking about the known bottom but a newly discovered bottom of the ocean, further down than anyone has ever traveled before.


Jonas, being the hero that he is, jumps back into action to save Lori and company but the rescue has unintended consequences. An explosion has caused a breach in a wall of frost that had kept an ancient monster of the sea hidden away for centuries. Now, the ancient and mythic Megalodon is free and ready to wreak havoc on the ocean. Only Jonas, along with the brilliant scientist and oceanographer Suyin (Li Bingbing), and her crew, including Mack, Jaxx (Ruby Rose) and D.J (Page Kennedy) can stop the monster shark.

Oh, Rainn Wilson is there as well as the comic relief billionaire who is funding the research that was just to find the new bottom of the ocean but now is to save the lives of anyone who is unwittingly in the ocean with the new super-predator on loose. Wilson can be a little annoyingly quirky at times in The Meg but his final scene makes it all worth it. I would recommend The Meg based almost entirely on that one scene.

The Meg was directed by Jon Turteltaub who knows a little something about making a goofy fun action movie; he’s best known as the man behind the National Treasure franchise with Nicholas Cage. It’s been 11 years since Turteltaub has had a hit movie, the National Treasure sequel, Book of Secrets, and 7 years since he made his most recent feature film. His most recent effort, 2010’s The Sorcerer's Apprentice, another attempt at a Cage led franchise, failed spectacularly with fans and critics.

Perhaps leaving Nicholas Cage behind was a good choice, Turteltaub seems reinvigorated by having a new star in Jason Statham who, since joining the Fast and Furious franchise, and appearing with Melissa McCarthy in Spy, has developed the skills that are a perfect fit for The Meg. Statham has the ability to take the nonsense seriously without taking it too seriously. He’s not winking at the audience constantly but he’s definitely in on the gag of how silly it all is, reminiscent of the approach of his pal Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson.

Statham strikes all the right notes in The Meg, including the romantic notes. Statham has terrific chemistry with love interest Bingbing Li and allows himself to be playful, charming and vulnerable, a rare combination of traits in a Statham character. Sure, he’s still intense and intimidating as Jonas, but the moments where he lets his guard down are more effective here because they are so unexpectedly charming.

The Meg succeeds on Statham’s star performance though Bingbing Li is every bit his equal in likability and sympathy. Li’s Suyin is a loyal daughter, a terrific mother to scene-stealer Shuya Sophia Cai, and a good friend to her crew members. She even gets some of the films best laughs when she secretly ogles a shirtless Statham and is nearly caught. It’s an adorable and funny performance and Li elevates the goofy material.

Sadly, the special effects of The Meg, including the title character, are the weakest part of the movie. The Meg is just okay looking, it’s not all that special. There is a fuzzy quality to the Megalodon up close and the kills, though appropriately gory, have a low budget quality that keeps them from being legitimately scary. Whether this was director Turteltaub’s intent to make the film more suitable for mass audiences or a lack of care in the effects department, I can’t say. I can only say that the film suffers a little for the lack of genuine frights.


Only a little though, the mediocre effects do work well enough to underline the campy, good natured goofiness of The Meg. This is not Jaws, there doesn’t appear to be any real intent to make The Meg scary. It’s a B-movie production that aims squarely for the PG-13 thrill market rather than the R-Rated horror market. It’s a function of mercenary marketing strategy and not an artistic concern but at least the filmmakers don’t appear to be hiding the mercenary qualities, and rather are wearing them proudly as part of the film’s odd campy charm.

I was convinced I was going to hate The Meg. So, I really should not be surprised that the film overtook such low expectations. All Jon Turteltaub needed to do to impress me here was not annoy the bejesus out of me and I was going to be rather happy. That the film, especially Jason Statham, entertained me makes the movie a genuine pleasure. I’m reminded of the same low-quality high fun appeal of the Fast and the Furious movies. If Jason Statham can keep making movies in that vein, he and I are going to be actor and fan for years to come.

Movie Review Megalopolis

 Megalopolis  Directed by Francis Ford Coppola  Written by Francis Ford Coppola  Starring Adam Driver, Nathalie Emmanuel, Giancarlo Esposito...