Movie Review Tulip Fever

Tulip Fever (2017) 

Directed by Justin Chadwick 

Written by Deborah Moggach, Tom Stoppard

Starring Alicia Vikander, Dane DeHaan, Jack O'Connell, Tom Hollander, Christoph Waltz 

Release Date September 1st, 2017 

Published August 31st, 2017

Tulip Fever tells the story of an orphan girl named Sophia who is plucked from a Dutch orphanage to become the wife/concubine of a rich trader named Cornelis Sandvoort (Christoph Waltz). Sophia’s life is a relatively dull routine but nothing she really notices as, aside from the orphanage, it’s all she’s ever known. Sophia’s worldview changes when the outside world comes crashing into her secluded domesticity in the form of a lusty painter named Jan Van Loos (Dane Dehaan) who awakens the kind of desire within Sophia that her arranged marriage could never possibly create.

Not a bad story? So why is Tulip Fever such silly nonsense? It’s illogical. Director Justin Chadwick covered similar period drama lustiness in The Other Boleyn Girl to fine effect and Tom Stoppard won an Academy Award for writing Shakespeare in Love and also wrote Brazil and Empire of the Sun. Add to this the rising star Alicia Vikander, two time Academy Award winner Christoph Waltz and the ingredients are here for an incredible film. Tulip Fever even has Academy Award winner Judi Dench and it’s still a miserable sit.

The simple fact is that the simple plot I described has been done to death. Stoppard’s own Shakespeare in Love is little more than a less haughty and more prestigious version of this same story. To attempt to escape the notion that the film is a poor copy of previous period movies, Tulip Fever adds two more characters and convoluted plot about faked pregnancy and a faked death and while the plot wheels spin in desperate effort to avoid repeating period cliché we in the audience grow ever more weary of the whirring, blurring silliness of the plot.

Jack O’Connell and Holliday Grainger play Willem and Maria. Maria is Sophia’s servant and Willem is the local fish-monger. They’ve fallen madly and love and Willem has a plan for them to escape servitude. Willem is entering the high stakes trade of Tulips which have become the hottest commodity in all of Denmark at this time. When Willem comes into luck, growing a rare Tulip that could get he and Maria out of their poverty only the lame contrivance of the plot can intervene and boy does it.

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review: Big Eyes

Big Eyes (2014) 

Directed by Tim Burton 

Written by Scott Alexander, Larry Karaszewski

Starring Amy Adams, Christoph Waltz, Danny Huston, Krysten Ritter

Release Date December 25th, 2014

Published December 25th, 2014

Few people have a face as punch-able as Christoph Waltz. The supercilious grin he affects in "Inglourious Basterds" and brings back for his villainous role in Tim Burton's "Big Eyes" desperately invites one to pop him. Of course, it's not just his face that makes you want to poke him one, it's that arrogant manner, that superior tone and hardcore obnoxiousness. But, for a moment, just watch that jaw as he slips toward that grin and tell me you don't know exactly where you want your fist to land. 

That's the power of Waltz, a man remarkably capable of making you loathe him, a capability that is both a blessing and a curse to the new movie "Big Eyes." On the one hand, Waltz is playing a real-life character quite worthy of a sock on the jaw. Art phony Walter Keane ho attempted to steal credit for his wife's remarkably popular art. On the other hand, Waltz's Keane is so loathsome I could barely stay in the theater to watch.

"Big Eyes" tells a story of fraud and how a meek woman through inner strength, and an assist from Jehovah, overcame her domineering fraud of a husband to claim her life's work. Amy Adams portrays Margaret Keane as an impulsive woman who flees her first husband for unspecified reasons and heads for San Francisco with her daughter in tow and no plan whatsoever for how to provide for them.

In very short order Margaret meets and marries Walter Keane (Waltz) who dazzles her with stories of living in Paris and supporting himself as an artist/real estate agent. At first, Walter is supportive and the two work together. However, when Margaret's unique paintings of saucer-eyed children gain attention over Walter's street scene of Paris, he decides he should pretend the “Big Eyes” are his work ... for promotional purposes only, of course.

That Walter Keane was a fraud is relatively well known, because he was an especially successful fraud. "Big Eyes" demonstrates how Margaret enabled the fraud and why it persisted for so long.

Adams is wonderful at portraying multitudes of emotion on her splendid features, especially with her narrow blue eyes, which ache and delight with equal fervor. With her voice barely a quiver, Adams brings Margaret's strength forward in brief dissertations about how personal her art is, and we know eventually that strength will transition into action.

After years of letting Walter co-opt her work and bastardize it into a pop phenomenon, Margaret left Walter and moved with her daughter to Hawaii. There she became a Jehovah's Witness and decided it was time to tell the truth about her paintings.

Here director Tim Burton directs a delightful scene in which Margaret reveals the truth to a random Hawaiian radio DJ who thought he was simply interviewing the wife of Walter Keane.

"Big Eyes" is certainly not without its delightful moments -- not just in its depiction of the radio show, but its scenes of the aftermath of people seeing Margaret's story on the AP wire. Then it appears in newspapers finally reaches Walter in San Francisco, where his indignant reaction to the story is completely hysterical. Also delightful is the courtroom follow-up as Margaret sues Walter for the proceeds of the “Big Eyes” paintings. Waltz acts out both sides of a cross-examination of himself about his creative process.

In the courtroom scene, Waltz becomes his most unctuously punch-able. If you didn't truly despise Walter prior to this scene, you will truly wish him ill by the end of his courtroom shenanigans. I have no idea how much of Walter Keane's work in court as his own idiot lawyer is actually based on the real-life case, but if it was anything like in the movie, he's lucky he wasn't strung up in the town square. 

While I was delighted by the courtroom scene and Waltz has moments of glorious, comic oiliness, there are times when the drama becomes too much. The scene in which Walter first seizes credit for the paintings is infuriating to watch, as are all scenes in the film featuring Waltz opposite Danny Huston. He portrays the film's narrator, a gossip columnist for a San Francisco newspaper. Huston has an unctuousness to match Waltz's, and the two of them together is more insufferable than entertaining. 

I can't say Tim Burton needed to cut back on Walter. That's relatively impossible given the true story. But some kind of modulation on the tone of his performance is, I believe, a reasonable request. The performance is at times so detestable that I wanted to leave the theater. 

So, do I recommend "Big Eyes?" That's a good question. I really don't know. I appreciate the effort the film puts forth to tell this worthy, true-life story, but some of the film is nearly impossible to sit through. Waltz is incredibly effective, almost too effective, at making us despise him. Still, I can't help but credit the film for provoking such a visceral reaction in a viewer. 

I really hate Walter Keane as he's portrayed in "Big Eyes." In that way I can't help but recommend the movie, with the caveat that this film will turn off as many people as it entertains. Adams is wonderful and the film is the best thing with Tim Burton's name on it in quite some time.

I still want to punch Christoph Waltz. 

Movie Review: Alita Battle Angel

Alita Battle Angel (2019) 

Directed by Robert Rodriguez

Written by James Cameron, Laeta Kalogridis

Starring Christoph Waltz, Rosa Salazar, Jennifer Connelly, Mahershala Ali, Ed Skrein, Jackie Earl Haley

Release Date February 14th, 2019

Published February 14th, 2019

Alita Battle Angel has been the dream of director-producer James Cameron for a number of years. While he’d placed the project on the backburner to focus on his Avatar franchise, Cameron never stopped loving Yukito Kishiro’s unique comic universe. Though he eventually walked away from directing Alita Battle Angel, Cameron can be credited for keeping the idea alive as a film property and that life is now realized with director Robert Rodriguez bringing Alita to the big screen. 

Alita Battle Angel is a CGI part live action adventure starring unknown newcomer Rosa Salazar as the titular Alita. Alita is a cyborg warrior who was found mostly dead and forgotten in a junkyard by Dr Dyson Ido (Christoph Waltz). Dr Ido put Alita back together inside the cyborg body that he’d once intended to give to his daughter. In this body, Alita is essentially, in many ways just a teenage girl but because of her cyborg heart, she has a quickness and fighting acumen that rivals any man. 

Slowly, Alita begins to regain her memory. After a particularly dramatic and violent moment in which she realizes she has serious violent tendencies, Alita remembers that she was once a warrior and now she wants to put that side of herself to good use as a bounty hunter. This is something Dr Ido strongly opposes but he cannot stop here. At the same time, Alita has also begun entering a romantic relationship with a flesh and blood human named Hugo (Keean Johnson). 

Both Hugo and Dr Ido have secrets that they are keeping from Alita, secrets that will be revealed and shape the early plot of Alita Battle Angel. It’s these secrets that tie in the other supporting players in this adventure including Chiren (Jennifer Connelly) a fellow doctor who takes a keen interest in Alita and the dangerous Vector (Mahershala Ali) who acts as the eyes and ears and event the occasional avatar of the film’s true big bad, named Nova. I won’t spoil the cameo of the big name actor who plays Nova as the film spoils it in remarkable fashion. 

Not spoil in the sense of revealing something too soon. Rather, the way this big name cameo is revealed is akin to something spoiled and rotting. This cameo reeks to high heaven. It’s an absolute laugh out loud stinker of the lowest calibur. The cameo comes along in an already faltering third act of Alita and provides a yawp of unintended laughter before becoming a highly problematic plot point as the film comes to a close. 

I won’t spoil the ending as even my negative review of Alita Battle Angel likely won’t prevent many from seeing it. Plus, I actually don’t hate Alita Battle Angel, not completely. The first two acts of Alita Battle Angel were unexpectedly emotional and compelling. Rosa Salazar is a young actor to watch. What she lacks in experience and chops she makes up for with confidence and energy. Some may find her enthusiasm cloying but I found it winning, for 2 out of three acts of the movie. 

I even admired the attempts at romance in Alita Battle Angel. Yes, there are odd questions that the main character raises as a cyborg teenage girl, many of those questions being deeply unsettling or creepy but nevertheless. That said, Salazar sparks well with fellow newcomer Keean Johnson and I liked the plot complications that Hugo brings to this story. In pro wrestling terminology, Hugo is what we call a tweener, a character somewhere between good and evil and teetering one way or the other. 

There is perhaps almost too much Oscar gold in Alita Battle Angel. The pedigree is darn near distracting with three Oscar winners, four if you count Christoph Waltz twice, one Oscar nominee, an unrecognizable Jackie Earle Haley, and a cameo from an Oscar nominee. Robert Rodriguez has stacked the cast with Academy faves in order to balance out his romantic leads, both newcomers who benefit from the Awards savvy supporting players. 

Even that amount of talent however, can’t save Alita from a third act that flies laughably off the rails. As Alita is fighting her way toward the biggest of the big bads in Alita Battle Angel, she makes choices that make little sense. She suddenly buys into a plot point regarding a warrior code that was not well established before in the plot. This is done for the purpose of plot convenience in the most obvious fashion. 

Jennifer Connelly and Mahershala Ali are then stranded in a classically James Bond moment where the fate of one of their characters is so achingly obvious that you can’t help but roll your eyes at the doozy of a cliché. At the very least, that plot has an unexpected and stunning visual payoff but that doesn’t change the nature of the embarrassing obviousness of that scene. And then the film ends without a complete resolution. 

Alita Battle Angel clips along for two thirds of the movie with a tremendous plot building strong complications with genuine stakes. Then, out of the blue, one of the main characters nearly dies, Alita nearly allows them to die and then, and then… well. I would need to go into serious spoiler territory to disentangle the nonsense that leads to this wholly unsatisfying end. I will only say that this abysmal third act ruined for me what was an otherwise enthralling and thrilling action adventure sci-fi romp. 

I was genuinely bummed when the movie began to falter. I could feel my heart sinking as the music of the final scene began to swell and it dawned on me that the film and these terrific characters would not have the chance to redeem themselves with a final battle sequence. Instead, I was left dispirited by a truly lame and misguided sequel tease. Ugh! Alita Battle Angel is two thirds of a really ripping adventure and one third of a bad Wachowski movie. 

(Sidebar: The Wachowski’s were the makers of The Matrix whose careers have been marked by remarkable ups like The Matrix and stunning failures such as The Matrix sequels and Jupiter Ascending. The final act of Alita sadly compares well to the worst of the output by visionary filmmakers quite similar to Wachowski’s in clout, status and popularity, Robert Rodriguez and James Cameron.) 

(Sidebar Sidebar: Yes, I know if I have to explain the funny-sad comparison it’s less funny but so be it, this parenthesized tangent is entertaining me even more than my insulting comparison.) 

(Sidebar-Sidebar-Sidebar: Then again, is a reference to the Wachowski's really so obscure that people need these sidebars? Perhaps not, but there is a lack of universality as to whether the majority of readers find a comparison to what I see as the worst of the Wachowski's, all that insulting.) 

(Si--- Okay, even I have tired of this.)

Movie Review: Water for Elephants

Water for Elephants (2011) 

Directed by Francis Lawrence

Written by Richard LaGravanese

Starring Reese Witherspoon, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Hal Holbrook

Release Date April 22nd, 2011

Published April 21st, 2011

It would be easy to write off "Water for Elephants" as a soppy, sappy chick flick on sight of its romantically lit poster and based on the female following of star Robert Pattinson. Easy, but a real shame to do so. Though "Water for Elephants" does have elements traditionally assigned to a chick flick it happens to also be an exceptionally entertaining, at times thrilling drama about circus life in the 1930's and three arresting characters; four if you count the elephant.

Riding the rails

In an old man's flashback to 1931 we meet Jacob played by "Twilight" star Robert Pattinson. On his final day at Cornell University's veterinary school Jacob is informed that his beloved parents have been killed in a car accident. Jacob's father had mortgaged everything to pay Jacob's tuition so, with his father's death went the house Jacob grew up in. With no family and no home Jacob hits the road and seeing a train in the middle of the night he hops a ride.

As older Jacob (Hal Holbrooke) tells it he's not sure if 'he chose the train or the train chose him' either way, Jacob seems to have been destined to come aboard the Benzini Brother Circus train where he gets work as a roustabout until his veterinary skills are discovered by the circus owner, August (Christoph Walz) who hires Jacob to tend to the animals, especially the horses used by August's wife Marlena (Reese Witherspoon).

Forbidden love

You know from trailers and commercials that Jacob and Marlena are destined to fall in love and that August does not take well to being cuckolded. What you don't know until you see "Water for Elephants" is what an elegant and often thrilling journey it is getting to Jacob and Marlena's love affair and its tragic and romantic aftermath.

"Water for Elephants" was adapted and crafted by screenwriter Richard Lagravanese, Oscar nominee for "The Fisher King," and unlikely director Francis Lawrence whose previous credits include the post-apocalyptic blockbuster "I Am Legend" and the comic book adaptation "Constantine." This unlikely team is somehow just right for the detailed period love story of "Water for Elephants" as Lagravanese found the humanity of the characters and Lawrence mined the period detail of Sarah Gruen's novel for a surprising visual feast.

Aiding Lawrence was the team of cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto (Brokeback Mountain) and longtime Terence Malick partner, production designer Jack Fisk. Together this trio transports us back to the 1930's with astonishing period detail. The visual splendor of "Water for Elephants" is the kind of unexpected pleasure usually reserved for late in the year, Oscar contending releases.

Pattinson and Witherspoon have spark

The three main cast members of "Water for Elephants" each brings a unique magic to their performance. Robert Pattinson, though not the most emotive actor working today, has a presence that is both leading man handsome and yet character actor unique. His Jacob is a great deal like his Edward from Twilight or his romantic hero from Remember Me, a rebellious with a tendency for finding trouble as a way of defending the people he cares about.

Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon have a strong romantic chemistry that is well communicated in looks and a meaningful caress. Both actors also have great chemistry with the film's fourth lead, Rosie the elephant played by Tai the elephant. Witherspoon spent three months prior to filming "Water for Elephants" working with Tai and attending circus camp so that she and Tai could deliver a believable team performance.

Ringmaster Christoph Walz

Christoph Walz is the scene stealer of "Water for Elephants" in a role that is every bit as compelling as his Oscar winning turn in Quentin Tarentino's "Inglorious Basterds." Walz's August is unquestionably the bad guy but the layers that Walz brings to the character beyond his abusiveness are fascinating examples of show and don't tell. In the way August speaks we find a man desperate for acceptance in a world harsh to immigrants. In his bold style of dress you find a man struggling to be seen as successful even while his circus is failing and his wife is beginning to stray.

These subtle character touches are part of the joy of "Water for Elephants" which also has compelling suspense, romance and grandeur. While a period romance based on a literary source starring a teen idol definitely screams chick flick, those who write off "Water for Elephants" as such will miss out on a highly compelling and well acted drama that is more than worthy of the modern movie ticket price.

Movie Review The Green Hornet

The Green Hornet (2011) 

Directed by Michel Gondry

Written by Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg

Starring Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Cameron Diaz, Edward James Olmos, Christoph Waltz

Release Date January 14th, 2011

Published Janurary 13th, 2011

Seth Rogen does not exactly cut the figure of a superhero. Luckily, that is kind of the point of this reboot of the old school masked hero “The Green Hornet;” he's not the real hero. Though he wears a mask and rolls around Los Angeles in a seriously pimped out superhero car, “The Green Hornet'' is a make believe hero while his martial artist, super-mechanic pal Kato is the real hero; beating down bad guys with a superhuman fighting sense while the Hornet grabs the glory on the front page.

Faux heroism is played for terrific laughs in the at times uneven but overall entertaining “The Green Hornet 3D.”

Seth Rogen stars in “The Green Hornet” as Britt Reid, a 30 something child of privilege who uses his father's wealth as an excuse to remain a teenager for life. Then, suddenly his father (Tom Wilkinson) is dead and Britt has an empire to run. Dad was the founder and editor of the last family owned newspaper in Los Angeles, The Sentinel and though Britt has never even read a newspaper, it's now his to run.

Meanwhile, Britt meets the man who has made his coffee for the past decade. Kato (Jay Chou) was his father's mechanic and coffee hound, he invented a latte machine, and now he works for Britt. Together, Britt and Kato share a disdain for the late Mr. Reid and a bitch session turns into a night of vandalism and then accidental crime fighting. The night is a life changing moment for both Reid and Kato as after saving a couple from some gang members they get a taste for the rush of the hero biz.

The twist in this hero story however is that instead of being good guys, Britt and Kato will be good guys who pose as bad guys in order to get to the bad guys. Using the editorial power of The Sentinel, Britt creates the persona of “The Green Hornet '' as the ultimate big bad in Los Angeles. Naturally, the current big bad, Chudnofsky (Christoph Waltz), is none too happy with some nobody usurping his front page headlines. Chudnofsky has spent the past decade shedding blood and selling drugs to get where he is and he's not about to cede the bad guy spotlight.

That's the table setting of “The Green Hornet,” the meal as prepared by director Michel Gondry is a tweaking of the superhero formula that is both true to the classic adventure hero stories and a sly send up of the same in the casting of comic actor Rogan as the pseudo-hero. Rogen, with writing partner Evan Goldberg, wrote the screenplay for “The Green Hornet” and plays wickedly on his lack of hero traits. Some of the biggest laughs in The Green Hornet come cleverly at the star's expense

and as Rogan and Gondry cleverly twist the hero they give new life to the role of sidekick. Jay Chou's Kato is a rather ingenious invention as he bounces well off of Rogan while being a total badass fighter. Chou is a walking special effect and with Gondry’s artful eye for demonstrating his talent, Chou breaks the mold of not just the sidekick but of Asian American movie stars in Hollywood features. 

Badder than Jackie Chan and more fun than Jet Li, Chou may be a martial artist but he's not so serious about it that he can't bust out a chorus of Coolio's “Gangster's Paradise” prior to whipping out some nunchucks and breaking bad guys faces and limbs. Interesting to note, Chou is a pop star in Asia and has a killer closing rap over the credits. Trust me when I say the song is no mere novelty and even fans who don't speak the language will be hard pressed not to nod along to this groove. 

”The Green Hornet '' is not without issues. Christoph Waltz works hard not to be the same colorful villain he was in his Oscar winning role in “Inglorious Bastards and winds up coming off a little flat for the effort. The final action scene set inside the walls of the newspaper as the bad guys chase the good guys, car and all, through the cubicle lined floors of the newspaper goes on a little too long and doesn't pay off strongly enough. 

That said the good more than outweighs the bad in “The Green Hornet.” Seth Rogen's sense of humor is smartly played against a familiar superhero story turned ever so slightly on its ear. Audiences will have to really like Rogan for much of the movie to work but fans of the “Knocked Up” star will be rewarded with a unique evolution of Rogan's clumsy, good hearted galoot character.

Movie Review Inglorious Basterds

Inglorious Basterds (2009) 

Directed by Quentin Tarentino 

Written by Quentin Tarentino 

Starring Brad Pitt, Christoph Waltz, Til Schweiger, Diane Kruger, Melanie Laurent, Michael Fassbender

Release Date August 21st, 2009 

Published August 20th, 2009 

Quentin Tarentino is now 5 for 5 in making masterpieces. The writer-director has nailed it out of the park with each movie he has made and his latest, Inglorious Basterds, is arguably his best work yet. Wildly violent, irreverent and strangely humorous, Inglorious Basterds reimagines World War 2 history with the kind of blood and guts guile that only Tarentino could muster.

Inglourious Basterds tells a story on two tracks. In one story a Jewish woman, Shoshanna (Melanie Laurent), escapes the murder of her family and seeks vengeance on the Nazis. In the other story a group of American Jewish soldiers are dropped behind enemy lines in Nazi controlled Paris under orders to kill and maim as many Nazi soldiers as they can. Boy, do they ever.

The Basterds, as they call themselves, are a bloodthirsty lot. Led by Lt. Aldo Raine (Brad Pitt) the Basterds seek scalps, literally they scalp Nazis. Raine came to be known as 'the apache'. Another member of the Bastards becomes the fearful 'Bear Jew'. He's played by horror director Eli Roth who brings the same vicious streak demonstrated in his Hostel film series to a role that has him beating Nazis to death with a baseball bat. I have always suspected that Roth enjoyed his brutality, Inglorious Basterds provides the visual evidence.

Another of the Bastards is too brutal for a nickname. He is Stiglitz (Til Schweiger) a former German soldier who, despite not even being Jewish, began beheading Nazis for fun. Stiglitz is such a badass that the movie pauses to pay tribute to him with a montage narrated by Samuel L. Jackson.

The two stories of Inglorious Basterds collide when Shoshanna, now living in Paris under an assumed name and running a movie theater, gets her opportunity for vengeance with, of all things, the premiere of a German propaganda film at her theater. She plans to burn the place down with all of the Nazis inside. Meanwhile, the Basterds also plan on being at the movie premiere, especially after hearing that the Fuhrer himself will be attending.

The plot of Inglorious Basterds also makes room for a British Film Critic turned soldier (Michael Fassbender), and a German movie star (Diane Kruger) turned spy who help the Bastards get into the movie premiere. Trust me when I tell you that you will be surprised at the fates of each of these exceptionally well drawn characters.

Of course, a Quentin Tarentino movie is as much about a strong plot as it is about style and Inglorious Basterds is no different. Though the tone is a muddled mix of dark violence and darker comedy, Inglorious Basterds is, in classic Tarentino style, also a talky, literate, cinematic homage to all the movies QT loves. Stylish in the strangest ways, there are moments in Inglorious Basterds that approach elegance, especially scenes set in that gorgeous Parisian movie theater.

Brad Pitt is the headliner of one knockout cast. In one of the least glamorous roles since his redneck debut in Thelma & Louise, Pitt shows the ease and charm of a huge movie star and the grit of a classically Tarentino hero. Combining a dark sense of humor with the witty candor of Tarentino, Pitt surprises at every turn and is the glue of the movie.

But, Brad Pitt is far from the only standout. Christoph Waltz is Oscar Worthy as the Nazi known as the Jew Hunter. Daniel Bruhl also strikes all the right notes as a humble Nazi war hero turned propaganda movie star, and newcomer Melanie Laurent is a real scene stealer as Shoshanna whose revenge on the Nazis is a real cinematic treat.

Quentin Tarentino tames a wildly irreverent story by directing the violence, dark humor and endless talk as one giant symphony. His graceful movements from violence to verbiage are almost elegant in their ease and flow. Where some would argue that Tarentino's chapter to chapter style in Pulp Fiction and the Kill Bill movies could be choppy and disjointed, that same style rolls effortlessly in Inglorious Basterds. Wildly violent and yet smooth in its way, Inglourious Basterds is Quentin Tarentino at his auteurist best. Few directors have a style all their own, Tarentino is one the few and arguably the best working today.