Movie Review: Armored

Armored (2009) 

Directed by Nimrod Antal

Written by James V. Simpson

Starring Matt Dillon, Columbus Short, Jean Reno, Laurence Fishburne, Skeet Ulrich

Release Date December 4th, 2009 

Published December 4th, 2009 

Streaming Rental via Amazon Prime 

Armored is the latest attempt by Hollywood to look engaged and aware of the current economic condition. At its center is a character making less than a living wage and about to lose his home and the desperate lengths he considers going to in order to save everything.

Columbus Short stars in Armored as Ty a former Iraq war veteran who returns home to a crumbling neighborhood and a teenage brother to take care of. The bank is looking to foreclose on Ty's house and the only job he can get is a part time gig as a guard working for an armored car company.

Ty's pal Mike (Matt Dillon) got him the job and does what he can to help him out. Mike has a plan, with the help of 4 other guards they will set up a robbery of their own trucks. 42 million dollars can go a long way toward solving Ty's problems but he only agrees to go along after a threat by child services to take his little brother away.

The plan comes off without a hitch, initially. Hiding the trucks in an abandoned industrial building the crew begins off-loading the cash when Baines (Laurence Fishburne) spots a homeless guy hiding in the building. He kills the guy and Ty realizes that things have gone too far. He locks himself in one of the trucks and sets off the alarm to try and draw attention. A cop (Milo Ventimiglia) does arrive and he too is shot. 

Ty makes an effort to save the cop and stop the bad guys and that is where Armored gets its juice. Directed by Nimrod Antal, Armored gets off to an exceptionally slow start but once it picks up some speed it gets pretty entertaining. Columbus Short is a likable actor who holds the screen well as well as our hero. Matt Dillon as the villain is backed up well  by Laurence Fishburne, Skeet Ulrich and Jean Reno.

As for how timely Armored is? The idea of a guy willing to rob an armored truck to save his house is more of a motivational conceit than a comment on our times. Armored isn't much related to our current economic conditions as it as a coincidence. This film has been made a few times before and could work just as well in a prosperous economy; there's always someone who’s struggling.

Armored is an old school action flick with good chase scenes, gunplay and a strong hero. Director Nimrod Antal takes a little while to get things going but the final act moves fast toward a satisfying action flick conclusion. If everything is tied up a little too neatly; call it a function of modern pop entertainment, modern audiences hate a down ending.

Movie Review Pink Panther 2

Pink Panther 2 (2009) 

Directed by Harald Zwart

Written by Steve Martin, Scott Neustader, Michael H. Weber

Starring Steve Martin, Jean Reno, Alfred Molina, Emily Mortimer, Aishwarya Rai, Andy Garcia 

Release Date February 6th, 2009 

Published February 6th, 2009 

Steve Martin used to be funny. I know it. I think. Wait, yes. Yes, Steve Martin was funny. The Jerk was funny. His first few SNL hosting gigs were funny. Three Amigos was funny. It's just that in the last decade or so Steve Martin has been so terribly unfunny that it's easy to forget when he was funny. The bad has been overwhelming the good in recent years. 

Arguably, the nadir of the last decade of Martin's career came when he chose to replace the late great Peter Sellers in The Pink Panther. Martin's The Pink Panther was a slipshod, insulting and stupid little kids movie that showcased Martin as still being able to do a pratfall but not being funny while doing it.  Somehow, Martin has convinced himself that the mess of Pink Panther was ok enough that we need another Pink Panther and though this sequel is slightly more coherent than the first film; Steve Martin remains terribly, forgettable, unfunny.

Inspector Clousseau (Martin) has been busted back down to parking duty when we join the story. However, when the Pink Panther diamond is threatened by a thief who's been stealing treasures all over the world, France turns to Clouseau and a dream team of worldwide investigators to solve the crime. Joining Clouseau in this dream team is Italian ladies man Vincenzo (Andy Garcia), British deductor Pepperidge (Alfred Molina), Japanese tech wizard Kenji (Yuki Matsuzaki) and an alluring true crime writer Sonia (Aishwarya Rai). No points for guessing that one of the dream team is really the bad guy.

Can someone explain to me why Steve Martin and the makers of the Pink Panther movies think the word Hamburger is so hilariously funny? The first film spent far too much of its run time working over that word and the gag continues in the sequel and even less effectively. I'm baffled, why this running gag? Why the word Hamburger? 

Then again, to try and locate some kind of comedic logic in the modern Pink Panther movies is a truly lost cause. This is a movie that still believes politically correct jokes are funny. Lily Tomlin shows up as an American working for the French government trying to fix Clouseau's penchant for politically incorrect statements. The last time these jokes were funny President Clinton was in office.

The Pink Panther 2 is somehow not as bad as the first film but that is a supremely low bar. Dull, witted and predictable, the overall feeling one can take away from Pink Panther 2 is disappointment. Disappointment over the fact that we know Steve Martin used to be funny and he just isn't anymore. And disappointment that The Pink Panther used to be entertaining before it became entwined with Steve Martin. 

Movie Review: Flushed Away

Flushed Away (2006) 

Directed by David Bowers, Sam Fell

Written by Dick Clement, Ian Le Frenais, Chris Lloyd, Joe Keenan

Starring Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Bill Nighy, Andy Serkis, Jean Reno 

Release Date November 3rd, 2006

Published November 6th, 2006 

Aardman animation, the home of Wallace & Gromit and Chicken Run, makes its first foray into computer animation with Flushed Away. This comedy about a rat borne London in the sewers beneath the city combines the charmingly flawed look of Aardman's traditional claymation characters with computer animation from the home of the Shrek movies, Dreamworks animation.

It's quite a successful transition for Aardman who move seamlessly into computer animation that remains true to the artistry of the company's past.

Flushed Away stars the voice of Hugh Jackman as Roddy a pet rat indulging in a high class lifestyle while his human owners are out of town. With the humans gone Roddy is up and out of his cage, watching the big TV and even satisfying his sweet tooth. Roddy's high class vacation from the humans is interrupted by the arrival of a disgusting sewer rat named Sid (Shane Richie) who soon ends up sending Roddy on a shocking trip

In trying to get Sid to leave, Roddy tries to convince him the bathroom toilet is a Jacuzzi. Sid, however, knows a toilet when he see's one and sends Roddy careening down the pipes himself. Finding himself in the shocking midst of a bustling rat metropolis that replicates real London using found materials, Roddy seeks help to get himself back to his high class home.

The person who can help Roddy get home is Rita (Kate Winslet) a fearless independent ships captain who knows every inch of the London sewer. Before she can help Roddy, however, Rita must escape rat mobsters and their boss; the toad (Ian McKellen) who want Rita to give them a jewel she recovered that may or may not have falled from the crown of Queen Elizabeth herself.

After some friction, Roddy and Rita form a good partnership; fending off the mob as they navigate Roddy's way home and Roddy discovers that the toad has more sinister plans than merely retrieving the Queen's jewel from Rita.

Flushed Away was directed by first time directors David Bowers and Sam Fell who tell a lively and fun adventure story. The real success of Fllushed Away however, is the animation which seamlessly combines computer animation with Aardman's signature claymation look that despite having been digitized manages to retain that flaws in the clay charm ala Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit.

Much of the enjoyment of Flushed Away comes from the voice cast lead by Hugh Jackman and Kate Winslet. Jackman gives a playful and fun vocal performance that is reminiscent of his self deprocating work as the host of the Tony Awards. Winslet is pitch perfect in giving Rita's voice strength and vulnerability. The supporting cast, which features Bill Nighy, Andy Serkis and Jean Reno really liven things up with Nighy and Serkis delivering terrific comic relief as mob rats.

There is a hint of romance in Flushed Away between Roddy and Rita. However, because directors Bowers and Fell are making a movie for kids they seem unwilling to commit to a romance between the lead characters. Despite great vocal chemistry between Jackman and Winslet, there is a great awkwardness in the writing and directing of this romance plot. The filmmakers seem to want to make it romantic but because this is a kids movie they just couldn't commit to it.

I can't escape the idea that Flushed Away should be funnier than it is. The film is pleasant and safe for the kids but it lacks the kind of big laughs that a movie like Cars or Shrek provide. That doesn't mean it's not humorous, rather that the humor is rather timid and riskless. See again the romance plot to which the filmmakers can't seem to commit. The romance has a lot of potential, comic or otherwise, but becuase the filmmakers can't decide if they want it or not the whole thing just sorta sits there.

As a product for kids you could do far worse than Flushed Away. The film is a technical marvel in its combination of CG technology and Aardman claymation. The story is pleasant and inoffensive which is a double edged sword. It's safe for the kids but far too safe to be really interesting and funny. I recommend Flushed Away for family audiences but for movie fans looking for the next Cars, Incredibles or Shrek, Flushed Away is not for you.

Movie Review: Flyboys

Flyboys (2006) 

Directed by Tony Bill 

Written by David S. Ward 

Starring James Franco, Martin Henderson, Jean Reno, Jennifer Decker, Tyler Labine

Release Date September 22nd, 2006 

Published September 23rd, 2006 

The story of the Lafayette Escadrille was a passion project for producer Dean Devlin. But, even the man whose resume includes Independence Day and The Patriot could not get a major studio interested in spending the money necessary to make a movie about American pilots who fought for the French in World War 1. Enter David Ellison; the scion of Oracle founder Larry Ellison, who had a few million dollars burning a hole in his pocket and a love of flying.

Together with director Tony Bill, Devlin and Ellison raised 60 million dollars, mostly their own money, and made Flyboys. The investment was not a great one. There is a reason studios did not commit to this picture and it involves a script that is lightweight, a romance that is far from grand and a lack of the star power necessary to make Flyboys a sell to mass audiences.

On the bright side, the flying scenes turned out really cool.

With Europe in chaos and Germany preparing to take the whole of France a call went out for pilots to join the French army in fighting back. It was 1916, more than a year before the United States officially declared war on the Austro-Hungarian alliance, and though their country was not part of the war, a few American boys were offered the chance to go to France and become fighter pilots.

Known as the Lafayette Esquadrille; these American flyboys arrived with all of the cock and swagger of your typical American and found a war lilke none had ever seen before. In the film Flyboys, a fictional depiction of the Lafayette squadron, James Franco takes the lead role of Blaine Rawlings a texan on the run from debts that have taken his family ranch.

After seeing a newsreel advertising the chance to become a pilot and fight the Germans, Rawlings jumped aboard a steam ship to France, just ahead of the cops on his tail. Arriving in the outskirts of France, far from the glamour of Paris, Rawlings is joined by several fresh faced americans with similar hopes of becoming pilots and of escaping difficult pasts.

There is Beagle (David Ellison) a cocky but secretive wannabe pilot whose past is even more complicated than Rawlings'. Briggs (Tyler Labine) would seem to have the easiest life as a son of privilege however, it was his pushy and unrelenting father (Timothy Pigott Smith) who pushed him to this fight against his will. Eugene Skinner (Abdul Salis) was a successful boxer in France who left America in hopes of finding a society more accepting of African Americans, now he hopes becoming a pilot can find him acceptance back home.

There is, of course, the obligaory romantic subplot and this is where Flyboys crashes into cliche. The romance between James Franco's Rawlings and a girl from the French countryside played by Jennifer Decker is truly insipid, beginning with a meet cute where Rawlings mistakes Decker's Lucienne for a prostitute. What follows is a dull, passionless courtship, further complicated by the couple's inability to speak each others language.

The language barrier reminded me of the terrifically funny movie Better Off Dead in which the mother of the nerdy kid who took in the beautiful french exchange student told everyone that her son and her guest spoke 'the international language'. If Franco and Decker's characters in Flyboys were speaking 'the international language' they were not communicating it very well, the romance is just awful; worse yet it's an anchor that drags out the films runtime, achingly over two hours, and keeps the film out of the skies.

When Flyboys is in the air, indulging the action that inspired it, the film often soars. The dogfights with German pilots in cool looking tri-planes, greatly augmented with CGI but often making use of real period aircrafts, are well shot, compelling, even exciting at times. Director Tony Bill, best known for the Emmy nominated TV movie Harlan County War, does a spectacular job combining digital effects with real period aircrafts and delivers some really exciting moments. If only he had had the guts to cut the romance and stick to the action, we would be talking about a much better, and thankfully; much shorter film.

So many directors, studios, and producers have tried to turn James Franco into a star that it is starting to become a sad joke. With his James Dean eyes, pout and brood; Franco has the tools for teen idol-dom but seems to lack either the will or the talent to make the move to real stardom. I enjoyed Franco's performance in the period romance Tristan & Isolde earlier this year but his dour brooding persona, the one he has carried from his supporting roles in Spider-Man to 2005's The Great Raid and the abysmal boxing picture Annapolis, is getting really tired. Someone find this guy a lighthearted romantic comedy before his face freezes in that sad puppy pout.

The most interesting member of the cast is one the films financiers, or atleast a financiers son. David Ellison, the son of Larry Ellison the owner of Oracle who sunk a good chunk into the making of Flyboys, plays Eddie Beagle the jovial but secretive member of the squad who is suspected of spying because he just can't seem to hit anything during fire fights.

Now, before you say nepotism landed David this role keep in mind; this is not his first acting gig. He played student number 1 in the indie flick Chumscrubber and produced, directed and starred in his own indie short called When All Else Fails , unseen and thus unjudged by me. Ellison brings some lovable charm to his role in Flyboys and the fact that he is, in reality, a trained pilot doesn't hurt either.

The supporting cast might actually have made better leads. Jean Reno does as well as he possibly can with the limited role as the French captain in charge of training the Flyboys. Martin Henderson, another actor Hollywood seems intent on turning into a star based on cheekbones alone, registers better than Franco in the role of the cocky veteran flyer who you just know will clash with the equally cocky Franco character before coming to respect him and maybe even fly with him as his wingman.

Poor Jennifer Decker. This lovely young French actress is made to look quite the fool in Flyboys. The scenes of Decker and Franco attempting to communicate but not understanding each other make her look as if she is mentally challenged. And while she is nice looking, the film needs her to be the kind of beauty that a man would be willing to give his life for; a face that would launch a thousand dogfights if you don't mind the illiteration.

Sadly Decker is not quite as attractive as the film wants you to believe. She needs to be supermodel gorgeous because the time that the couple spends together does not establish the kind of emotional or intellectual bonds needed for the kind of commitment that is asked for here. Young lust is really the only thing that could drive this relationship and Decker is not the type to inspire a lust one might give his life for.

When it's flying Flyboys is a pretty good action picture. On the ground however, Flyboys is awash in cliches, predictibility and a couple of truly dreadful performances. James Franco has the looks of a matinee idol but he had better find himself a role that consists of more than just brooding and dimples if he really wants to become a star.

Director Tony Bill aquits himself well as an action director but he needed more discipline and nerve in the editing room. Had he the guts to gut the romance and focus on the Flyboys we would be talking about an entirely different and far more entertaining picture.

Movie Review: The Da Vinci Code

The Da Vinci Code (2006) 

Directed by Ron Howard 

Written by Akiva Goldsman 

Starring Tom Hanks, Jean Reno, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellan

Release Date May 19th, 2006 

Published May 18th, 2006 

Having read Dan Brown's worldwide best seller The Da Vinci Code my expectations for the film version were quite low. Despite his admittedly intriguing premise involving the bloodline of Jesus Christ, the holy grail, and secret societies, Dan Brown's writing style is a tedious mixture of portentous dialogue and sub-Crichton chase scenes.

Thankfully the movie version of The Da Vinci Code is blessed with talent creative enough to salvage the usable elements of Brown's intriguing premise and prop up his weak points to watchable levels. Director Ron Howard, Academy Award winning screenwriter Akiva Goldsman, and star Tom Hanks are such professionals that even Dan Brown's tiresome, predictable clichés become relatively captivating mysteries.

Tom Hanks stars in the Da Vinci Code as Professor Robert Langdon. A Symbology expert, Professor Langdon is in Paris promoting his book when he is picked up by the Paris police. Taken to the world famous Louvre museum, Robert's help is sought in the investigation of the death of the museum's curator Jaques Saurniere (Jean-Pierre Marielle).

Langdon was to have a meeting with Saurniere while in Paris but as he tells police investigator Bezu Fache (Jean Reno), Saurniere never showed. What Langdon does not know is that Fache already has a suspect in the case, Langdon himself. The body found in the grand gallery amongst some of the world's greatest artistic treasures is surrounded by pagan symbols and clues, that Robert believes he is there to help interpret.

Coming to Robert's aide is a police code breaker, Sophie Neveu (Audrey Tautou). Having observed the evidence at headquarters, Sophie has determined that Fache has settled on Langdon being guilty. She's also figured out that Langdon is very much innocent based on the same evidence. 

Saurniere happens to be Sophie's estranged grandfather. The symbols he left behind, in his own blood as he slowly died, were meant for her but she needs Professor Langdon's help in solving all of the riddles grandpa left behind. This includes a secret passed down through the ages that Saurniere has kept and was in the past the provenance of people such as Victor Hugo, Sir Isaac Newton and Leonardo Da Vinci.

With Sophie's help Langdon escapes the Louvre, with some helpful artifacts from Saurniere and clues from Da Vinci himself. They must follow the clues if they are going to prove Robert's innocence and discover the amazing secret Jaques Saurniere died to protect, a secret that could lead them to the legendary Holy Grail. 

They will also need the help of an old friend of Robert's, conspiracy theorist Sir Leigh Teabing (Ian McKellen). An expert in all things related to the holy grail, Sir Leigh lets Robert and Sophie in on the scope and scale of the mystery they are trying to solve and the tremendous danger that secret threatens to unleash.

Keep in mind, of course, that the real killer of Jaques Saurniere is still out there. Silas (Paul Bettany) an imposing, self flagellating monk of the order of Opus Dei murdered Saurniere to get to the secret himself on behalf of a shady bishop (Alfred Molina). Working in secret for the Vatican, the bishop intends to destroy the holy grail if he gets his hands on it.

But just what is the holy grail? That is a mystery I will leave for you to discover by watching the movie. For storytelling purposes it's simply the McGuffin, that thing as described by Hitchcock, that drives a mystery movie plot. Be it a mysterious brief case, some sort of world killing virus or in this case the holy grail. It's that thing that every character in this kind of film seeks and that some characters will kill for. It's the motivation for chase scenes, gun fights and love stories.

This makes The Da Vinci Code a rather typical movie mystery. The film does indeed have more than a few chases, a few bullets fired and the makings of a minor love story. The Da Vinci Code is a conventional thriller except that it's driving force happens to be rather controversial.

Writer Dan Brown spins an outlandish tale that calls into question the divinity of Jesus Christ and spins a fantastical story of a Vatican cover up, the holy grail, and a secret society call the priory of scion whose membership reads like history's hall of fame.

It's a terrific story that in his book Brown drowns out with droning dialogue and a highly predictable murder mystery. The challenge to the filmmakers was to remain faithful enough to satisfy the millions who managed to fight through the books clichés while patching Brown's many plot holes.

Writer Akiva Goldsman does what he can to repair the books worst aspect, the dialogue. Cleaning up Brown's dense, halting prose, Goldsman cuts to the quick. This at times leaves people who haven't read the book in the dark but keeps the film from having to be four hours long to explain all of the various details. At 2 hours and 30 minutes, the film is long and filled with a lot of dialogue but we can thank Goldsman for getting the films many jargon filled conversations moving.

Also thank Ron Howard for keeping things moving as well. Only pausing when he absolutely has to, Howard keeps the film humming along with chase scenes, narrow escapes and tantalizing historic scenery from Paris to London. There was no way that even talents like Howard and Goldman could plug the many holes in the convoluted Da Vinci Code plot but they are blessed with a dream cast who allow us to relax and forget about many of those rather large holes.

Tom Hanks with his friendly, aw shucks charm is always an inviting screen presence. He's become an old reliable friend on screen and no matter how implausible the plot may be you want to follow along just to hang out with our buddy Tom Hanks.

Ian McKellen may not be our pal like Tom but playing a charming English eccentric, McKellen is perfectly at home and highly entertaining. His Sir Leigh Teabing has some of the more lengthy and difficult dialogue in the film but who better than the classically stage trained englishman to deliver even the most tedious monologues. His grand accent alone is enough to lull you into believing the fantastic lies he spins.

The Da Vinci Code is no groundbreaking adventure in the way Indiana Jones was but it's not the stultifying borefest that was National Treasure. It falls somewhere in the entertaining but forgettable middle ground of those two similar adventures. Good enough for me to recommend to fans of mystery, fans of the book and especially fans of our old pal Tom Hanks.

Movie Review: The Pink Panther

The Pink Panther (2006) 

Directed by Shawn Levy 

Written by Len Blum, Steve Martin 

Starring Steve Martin, Kevin Kline, Jean Reno, Emily Mortimer, Beyonce Knowles

Release Date February 10th, 2006

Published February 9th, 2006 

It’s not that Steve Martin is no longer a funny guy but, with his last few pictures, save for the exceptional romantic drama Shopgirl, he has really stunk up the joint. Cheaper By The Dozen 1 & 2 and his teaming with Queen Latifah in Bringing Down the House are vapid exercises in the most tired of cliches. The streak of joyless and mostly humorless comedies continues with The Pink Panther, a flailing cannibalization of the famous Peter Sellers film series.

Inspector Jaques Clouseau (Martin) is the model of ineptitude. As a gendarme of the French police, Clousseau's beat has long been the one place where he could do the least amount of damage. However, when the French national soccer coach (action star Jason Statham in a brief cameo) is murdered and his legendary pink panther diamond stolen from his dead body, it is Clousseau who is given the high-profile case.

The chief of French Police Dreyfus (Kevin Kline) chose Clouseau not for his investigatory skill, but rather to be the public face of the investigation. While Clouseau screws up in front of the cameras, Dreyfus and his team can solve the case behind the scenes and then take all the credit. To insure Clouseau does not screw up too badly, he is assigned a partner, Gendarme Gilbert Ponton (Jean Reno), who will attempt to keep Clouseau out of trouble.

Pop star Beyonce Knowles shows up as Xania, an international pop star, solely for the purposes of eye candy and for the soundtrack synergy. The pop star has no relevance to what there is of a plot. Poor Emily Mortimer, playing Clouseau's secretary, is stuck with the thankless role of his love interest, leaving Beyonce to merely provide the film with a marketable pop song for the soundtrack CD.

Once you accept that this is not much of a movie and more of a sketch-comedy exercise, the whole thing comes down to how funny these sketches are. And within that limited criteria, the results are quite mixed. The Pink Panther is exceptionally hit and miss. Certain scenes, such as Clouseau's introduction to Chief Inspector Dreyfuss, are laugh out loud funny. However, the sketches that don't work, like the attempts at bawdy adult humor or Clouseau's dirty-old-man infatuation with Xania, are far more uncomfortable than funny.

Director Shawn Levy is to the comedy genre what Uwe Boll is to sci fi. Okay, maybe he isn't quite that bad. Mr. Boll does set quite a standard, but for the relative ease of his chosen genre, the family comedy, Levy is unquestionably a hack. He can point the camera and capture what is in frame, but he has zero insight into how one scene should flow to the next. Levy has no sense of how to establish a comic or dramatic flow, no sense of storytelling and he has the visual sense of a blind squirrel.

I have not seen the original Pink Panther since the era of the large-form laser disc, so my memory of Peter Sellers as Clouseau is spotty at best. I know from experiencing other films of Director Blake Edwards, who directed Sellers in the original, that he is a far superior director to Shawn Levy, so it seems safe to assume that this new Pink Panther cannot match the original. Call that observation unfair or uninformed if you like, but it's inescapable that Levy is not a great director.

As for comparing Steve Martin and the legendary Mr. Sellers, I have to believe that Steve Martin certainly could match the talent of Peter Sellers. I have seen so much great work from Steve Martin, granted not much recently, that I have to believe him capable of being Peter Sellers' equal. In this film however, with this director, Martin is at a loss to bring this legendary character to life. Martin flails and falls with vigor but it's all for naught. Martin's goose was cooked the second Shawn Levy was named director.

So what, if anything, works in Pink Panther? For Steve Martin being, a complete failure at drawing laughs is impossible. Martin works very hard for what few laughs he gets in this dreadful film, but he does get a few and most come from his teaming with Jean Reno. In a better film, Martin and Reno could have riffed two complete funny performances but in Reno's sporadic screen-time, often cut short for more of Martin's dirty old man bit or the film's bizarre extended James Bond riff, they only have time for a few funny moments, the film's funniest moments.

Also, the teaming of Martin and Kevin Kline as Chief Inspector Dreyfus is inspired, but as with many of the ideas that went into this movie, the teaming is half-baked. Kline has only a handful of scenes with Martin, some very funny, some very much not. Like Martin's teaming with Reno, I watched Martin work with Kline and longed for a different, far better film to feature these two exceptionally talented actors.

The Pink Panther has been marketed as a family movie, so I should warn parents that the family movie tag was one forced upon the film. The Pink Panther was intended as an outrageous borderline R-rated comedy filled to overflow with prurient humor about Viagra, Beyonce Knowles' fine form, and a running gag about Martin and Emily Mortimer getting caught in compromising positions. The Viagra and the leering Clouseau's creepy eyeing of Knowles remain, as does the running gag about Martin and Mortimer, though I understand in much shorter form. These jokes do not belong in a supposed family movie.

Some might say if Sony, the studio that took over the prized property after purchasing MGM, mandated these changes that I should cut director Shawn Levy some slack. I would, if I thought these naughty scenes that are now either truncated or cut completely had the potential to be funny, but I don't see that. Watching what is left of the initial Pink Panther cut, I think Sony likely performed a salvage and rescue rather than the destruction of something bawdy and brilliant. 

Remakes are, more often than not, lazy cash grabs, and while there is little about Steve Martin's performance in Pink Panther that could be called lazy, there is an unquestionable stench of greed and the desire to cash in on a well known property. Worse yet, there is unshakable malaise around The Pink Panther that even Martin at his most manic cannot escape. Whether it comes from director Shawn Levy's poor direction or the general laziness of remakes is debatable.The Pi