Movie Review: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008 

Directed by Nicholas Stoller

Written by Jason Segal

Starring Jason Segal, Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell, Russell Brand, Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd, Jack McBrayer

Release Date April 18th, 2008

Published April 17th, 2008

The golden touch of writer/director/producer Judd Apatow had become King Midas in reverse on his last two efforts. the brutal spoof Walk Hard and the forgettable Drillbit Taylor. Thankfully, the golden touch is back in the new romantic comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Starring Apatow's long time friend, part of the apatow repertory players from TV and the movies, Jason Segal, Forgetting Sarah Marshall returns to the Apatow gang's comfort zone of awkward, R-Rated romance and mines it for humor of great discomfort, humanity, truth and penis jokes.

Peter Bretter (Segal) has been in love with Sarah Marshall for five years since they met on the set of her hit show Crime Scene: Scene of the Crime. Peter performs all of the music on the show. All seemed warm and cozy until Sarah decided to break up with him. Devastated, Peter drifts into a series of random sexual encounters before his brother Dave (Bill Hader) convinces him to get away for awhile.

Deciding on a Hawaiian getaway, Peter is stunned to find Sarah Marshall already on the island when he arrives and she's attached at the lips to her new rock star boyfriend, Aldous Snow (Russell Brand). On the bright side, a beautiful young hotel worker named Rachel (Mila Kunis) takes pity on him and decides to help him get his mind off his ex.

Jason Segal not only stars here, he wrote the smart, offbeat screenplay for Forgetting Sarah Marshall and the care he takes to avoid typical romantic comedy moments bring depth and brains to a film that could have been just another collection of broad gags. Segal crafts terrific characters, creates believable conflicts and wrings big laughs from moments that most anyone will be able to relate to.

Among the many things I loved about this terrific comedy romance is how director Nicholas Stoller and  Jason Segal balance Peter's flaws with Sarah's and avoids making her into a villain. The same can be said of Brand's airhead rocker who, though his quite shallow, proves to be something slightly more than just a walking gag.

Mila Kunis shines in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Bringing a dash of crazy, foul mouthed hussy to an idealized version of a dreamgirl, Kunis shows bravery and chops hanging with the Apatow crew's brand of sweet offensiveness. From her girl's gone wild moment to her foul mouthed tirades, she surprises at every turn, and proves to be more than the equal of her male counterparts.

On top of the strong central story Segal, director Nicolas Stoller and producer Apatow also find room for terrific supporting players like Jonah Hill, Paul Rudd and Jack McBrayer. Best of all however, in the briefest of roles, in William Baldwin. In a pitch perfect send up of David Caruso's CSI Miami cop, Baldwin is a hilarious scene stealer. Really, just about everything works in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. If you can get past multiple scenes of male nudity, you will have a great time with this terrific little movie.

Movie Review The Yellow Handkerchief

The Yellow Handkerchief (2010) 

Directed by Udayan Prasad 

Written by Erin Dignam 

Starring William Hurt, Maria Bello, Kristen Stewart, Eddie Redmayne 

Release Date February 26th, 2010 

Published August 4th, 2010 

“The Yellow Handkerchief” is a great looking movie that relies on fabulous Louisiana scenery and a strong eye for locations to distract from what is a rather dull and inert bit of storytelling. Indian director Udayan Presad and writer Erin Dignam, like so many indie minded teams, mistake characters saying and doing inappropriate things for character development.

William Hurt stars in “The Yellow Handkerchief” as Brett a fresh from prison, oil rig working lummox who finds himself on a journey through Louisiana with a pair of emotionally damaged teenagers. Eddie Redmayne is the slightly mentally handicapped Gordie and “Twilight's” Kristen Stewart is the daddy issues having Martine.

For Gordie, Brett is an obstacle and oracle. Because Martine has an obvious affinity for Brett, he stands between Gordie and his crush on Martine even as Brett attempts to offer Gordie sage council on how to deal with her. For Martine, there is a mixture of wanting a father figure and the forbidden nature of being attracted to a stange, older man.

Throughout “The Yellow Handkerchief” we flash back to Brett's life before he was released from prison. Brett was once happily married until something happened and he ended up spending the next 6 years in jail. Maria Bello plays either his wife or his victim, you'll have to see the film yourself to find out.

The characters in “The Yellow Handkerchief” work very hard to make each other and us uncomfortable. They say oddly personal things and reveal things about themselves that normal humans might not reveal to close friends. Call it the comfort of strangers if you like but if a stranger spoke to me the way these characters speak to each other, I would run away screaming.

There is a worthy bit of filmmaking skill to “The Yellow Handkerchief.” Gorgeous scenery, a well managed pace that sinks perfectly into the film's hot southern exteriors; with a better sense of character, something more believable and far less off-putting, “The Yellow Handkerchief” could be extraordinary.

Sadly, the only thing likely to come from “The Yellow Handkerchief” is a solid audition reel for director Udayan Presad and cinematographer Chris Menges.

Movie Review: The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Pt 1

The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn (2011) 

Directed by Bill Condon

Written by Melissa Rosenberg

Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Billy Burke, Ashley Greene, Kellen Lutz

Release Date November 18th, 2011 

Published November 17th, 2011 

You have to be a fan of the Twilight books to appreciate The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1. If you aren't a 'Twi-Hard' I very much do not recommend Breaking Dawn which, when looked at objectively, is a shockingly bad movie. We begin with the wedding of Edward (Robert Pattinson) and Bella (Kristen Stewart). It's a lovely outdoor gathering that is beautifully shot and entirely forgettable. Weddings in movies tend to come at the end of the movie, it's incongruous to have a wedding at the start of the film and thus Breaking Dawn gets off on a strange footing.

From the wedding we are whisked briefly to Brazil and then off to the Cullen's heretofore unmentioned private island; just how rich are these vamps? Here is where we arrive at what was supposed to be a spectacular love scene; Twi-hards' have been buzzing about it since  Breaking Dawn hit bookshelves. As with most hype, reality cannot compete with the build-up. Edward and Bella destroy their marital bed with their passion but the naughtiest bits are off-limits because of the need for the PG-13 rating. What we get instead is the erotic power of a vampire love scene rendered as an adult contemporary music video.

The trailer has told you that Bella gets knocked up, though it's not on the first try. Director Bill Condon makes us wait through an interminable 15 to 20 minutes of Edward resisting his wife's sexual advances because their first encounter left her bruised and he doesn't want to hurt her. Here we have the erotic power of the vampire rendered moot while we watch two attractive young people play chess and engage in one of the least interesting bits of foreplay in movie history. When Edward finally does give in, that's when Bella gets knocked up and the story of Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 really is supposed to kick in.

No one, not Edward's ancient vampire dad, Carlisle (Peter Fascinelli), not random intuitive Brazilian women, or even caring pug nosed werewolf boys, knows whether a human can safely carry a vampire baby or, if she does carry the baby, can she survive the birth? Meanwhile, the werewolves decide, somewhat randomly, that a vampire baby is a violation of their peace treaty with the Cullen's and transform into their enemy. After having helped the Cullen's in previous movies and after beginning Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 wishing to maintain the peace, you can color me confused as to why the wolves suddenly found themselves itching for a fight.

I have a tendency to apply logic where it's not welcome and with that in mind here's a question: If the Cullen's can afford to buy an island off the coast of Brazil then why not just fly in their medical equipment to said island instead of bringing Bella back to Forks and risking the wrath of the werewolves? (It's a rhetorical question Twi-hards and if the answer is in the book, I don't care, it's not in the movie.) Fans of the book, I'm sure, can fill in the blanks. I however, am a film critic and from my perspective the random changes in motivations that these characters portray is sloppy and ill-conceived; it was as if the werewolves were drawn at random to be the bad guys in Breaking Dawn Pt. 1.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 is, in all honesty, for someone who hasn't read the books, a Razzie-worthy effort in which scene after scene tumbles on to the screen with a self-serious thud. The characters are humorless which, when combined with high camp scenes of Edward and Bella's romantic chess playing and a werewolf town-hall meeting in which ungodly goofy looking CGI wolves telepathically yell at each other, makes for cringe-worthy unintentional comedy.

Stay after the credits for the biggest unintentional laugh however, as one of the best actors working today delivers one of the worst line readings of the year. It's a line read so horrible that this moment alone should have an award waiting at the Razzies. (Sorry Michael Sheen.) If you are a fan of Twilight then nothing I can say about the film is going to matter to you. I am not trashing your favorite books; I've never read them. I can only critique the movie and objectively The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1 is a lovely looking bad movie.

Movie Review: The Twilight Saga Eclipse

The Twilight Saga Eclipse (2010) 

Directed by David Slade 

Written by Melissa Rosenberg

Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Bryce Dallas Howard, Elizabeth Reaser

Release Date June 30th, 2010 

Published June 29th, 2010

The Twilight movies are about sex. Sex is why the Cullen family, and indeed all Vampires are so damned Gap model attractive. Sex is why Taylor Lautner’s Jacob, and the rest of his Wolf pack are shirtless for most of the movie. The denial of sex from Edward to Bella, from Bella to Jacob, is the driving force of the plot of the latest Twilight chapter “Eclipse” and it makes for one exceptionally irritating tease. Not to mention one truly irresponsible and outdated morality play.

As we rejoin the “Twilight Saga,” a young man in Seattle is being menaced in the rain. He is soon bitten and will become a Vampire, the first in an army of newborn Vamps under the control of the evil redhead Victoria (Bryce Dallas Howard). She is building an army to attack the Cullen Clan and especially Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart), the love of Victoria's mortal enemy Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson).

Bella and Edward, reunited after Edward tried to runaway in “New Moon,” are now in the full blossom of love, as demonstrated by the two of them reading poetry in a flowery meadow together. How else would you know they were in love? Bella is still pestering Edward about becoming a Vampire while Edward talks of marriage.

Meanwhile, Bella has drama with her pal Jacob, yet another of Edward's sworn enemies, who happens to also be in love with Bella. Bella has feelings for Jacob and this love triangle is supposed to be a source of deathly, primal, tension that smolders off of the screen but as written and played it comes off much more like two boys fighting over a favored toy.

Bella and Jacob haven't spoken in the months since she chose Edward over him but, when Victoria returns to their tiny corner of Washington State, Jacob wants to know that Bella is protected and that he and his wolf pack are ready to do the protecting if Edward and his vampires can't do it. Victoria’s army leads to a truce between the Cullen clan and the Wolf pack and some newborn vampire heads get crushed in the film’s best sequence.

The battle scenes staged by director David Slade have a crisp, professional look that was desperately lacking in the first two Twilight movies. Slade's experience on the vampire flick “30 Days of Night” definitely pays off here even as he is restrained by a bloodless PG-13 rating. Did you know that Vampires are made of marble? I’m not kidding, freaking marble, like tabletops. Goofy as that sounds, the visual of marble crushed by Vampire fist and Werewolf teeth is pretty cool.

As an action movie, this is certainly the best of the Twilight brand of action. But, “Twilight” is not about Vampires and Werewolves punching and biting one another in some CGI universe. No, “Twilight” is about sex, more to the point, it's about spreading a fear and loathing of sex. Stephanie Meyer has crafted a morality play in which Vampirism and the Werewolf version of eternal love, known as ‘Imprinting,’ are merely poorly veiled metaphors for sex. The pain of turning into a Vampire, the fear of Edward’s uncontrollable ‘blood’ lust and Jacob’s animal sexuality are Meyer’s way of making sex dangerous and foreboding.

In the “Twilight” series sex is threatening, mystical and frightening unless you are married. It’s the Purity Ring of movie franchises, clinging desperately to an outdated idea of chastity as the only way to live. Teens are sexually active and the more society attempts to frighten them away from sexuality the more dangerous teen experimentation becomes. Instead of teaching teens the joy of safe, responsible sex, “Twilight” preaches abstinence through fear and encourages ignorance in the form of outdated moralism.

If you must send this chastity/abstinence/purity message then at least do it better than this. In The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, the message is delivered with Ms. Meyer and screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg employing undercooked analogies, juvenile romantic fantasy, and groan inducing monologue that run page after page apparently communicating what the writers felt could not be communicated by the cast through that talent known as acting.

Like the first and second film in the saga, “Eclipse” is for fans only. Those who love the books are blind to the immature romance, the stolid monologues, and the attempt to push an abstinence message in the guise of a Vampire movie. I’m sure if Twi-hards would pull their eyes away from Edward’s gleaming skin or Jacob’s rippling abs they would see this series for what it is; but trust me that is never going to happen.

Movie Review: The Twilight Saga New Moon

The Twilight Saga New Moon (2009) 

Directed by Chris Weitz 

Written by Melissa Rosenberg

Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene, Billy Burke, Kellen Lutz, Michael Sheen, Dakota Fanning, Anna Kendrick, Peter Facinelli 

Release Date November 20th, 2009 

Published November 19th, 2009

I am not a member of the cult of Stephanie Meyers. I have only skimmed her series of teen Vampire novels and I found what I did read to be insipid. Her faux- teen angst combined with proto-Shakespearean catchphrases barely serve to cover her puddle deep metaphors for chastity and purity. Sure, she's got Vampires and Werewolves but each is about as dangerous in Ms. Meyers' universe as feral cats. Never mind her complete disregard for decade’s worth of established Vampire lore. 

The movie made from her first book, Twilight, was made tolerable only through the earnest efforts of the talented lead actors Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Though they seemed as uncomfortable with Ms. Meyers goofball pseudo-romance as I was, they sold it like champs. Too bad they had to come back for a sequel.

When last we left preternaturally bummed out Vampire Edward and his beloved Bella they were sharing a moment at the Forks High School Prom. Since then Bella has been suffering nightmares that she believes can only be cured by becoming a Vampire herself. Edward declines, he likes her better not dead.

Things come to a head on Bella's 18th birthday when she cuts herself and is nearly devoured by Edward's family. Feeling guilty that he cannot protect Bella, Edward calls the whole thing off and disappears. A devastated, Bella then falls into the arms of her pal Jakob (Taylor Lautner). Too bad for Bella that Jakob too has a deep, dark, supernatural secret, he's a werewolf who kills Vampires. Ooooh, feel that tension rise?

I am supposed to believe there is tension there, I think. To tell the truth, New Moon, as crafted by directed by Chris Weitz, is such a shambles of mixed motivations, missing scenes and bizarrely edited dream sequences, it's a wonder I managed to feel anything but blind confusion. New Moon is not for the uninitiated. If you have not read the books and even if you have seen the first film, you will likely be at a loss to follow New Moon's many preposterous plot turns. Thankfully, I watched New Moon with a fan or I would have given up after the opening dream sequence or the second ghost Edward. Don't ask.

Fans of the books, I am told, will be exceptionally satisfied with New Moon. The fan I watched it with was in tears at one point from the giddy thrill of seeing her favorite scenes rendered before her eyes. She was also forced to explain things to the rest of us so often that she likely missed a few scenes. It didn't matter to her, the book lives in her brain.

Whither Mr. Pattinson and Ms. Stewart. The yeoman effort that carried them through Twilight is missing almost entirely in New Moon. Mr. Pattinson spits every piece lame dialogue through his clenched, sculpted jaw while Ms. Stewart plays with her hair and cries as her way of fighting through the morass of Stephanie Meyers' puddle deep metaphors and Bard-light dialogue. We get it Stephanie Meyers, Vampire bite equals sex. Sex before marriage means damnation. Blah, blah, blah. I have seen sixth grade school plays with more complex use of metaphor. Insipid representations aside, New Moon is a chore even without the dull witted moralizing.

The Twilight Saga New Moon is a new kind of modern blockbuster, a self reflexive movie meant only to appeal to people guaranteed to love it unconditionally. Fan, as we often must remind ourselves, is short for fanatic, and only a fanatic could so willingly overlook the glaring flaws of writer Stephanie Meyers and the movie made of her book New Moon.

Movie Review: Twilight

Twilight (2008) 

Directed by Catherine Hardwicke 

Written by Melissa Rosenberg 

Starring Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Anna Kendrick, Billy Burke, Peter Facinelli

Release Date November 21st, 2008 

Published November 20th, 2008

I must first admit my ignorance of the Twilight phenomena. Not spending much time chatting with members of the tween set, having no teenage daughters, I was blissfully unaware of writer Stephanie Meyers anguished teen vampire romance series. Now that the series and movie have become inescapable the culture vulture in me has absorbed as much as I can about the series without resorting to actually reading the weighty tomes themselves. Does the overall ignorance of the book prevent me from offering fair insight of the movie? Hardly.

Freed of the need to refer back to the efficacy of book to movie I am able to judge the movie for what it is without the weight of the literary literalism that will, no doubt, arise within those who find Stephanie Meyers words sacred. Twilight is a loosely Shakespearean romance that lifts, as does much modern romance, from the Bard's Romeo and Juliet, a tale of tragic, agonized love. Edward Cullen is a shy, pasty faced young man with no friends in school. He hovers close to four equally pallid brothers and sisters and rejects the world around him.

Bella Swan is similar in ghostly appearance to Edward. Her pale whiteness an oddity as her character comes from the sun drenched deserts of Arizona. Nevertheless, Bella and Edward could bond over the necessity for sunscreen but they don't. Bella is also similarly afflicted with the need to avoid social interaction. Though she is adopted by a social group of boys and girls in her new school in Forks Washington, where this story plays out, Bella is never comfortable. Her elusive manner and general social discomfort are yet another bonding opportunity for she and Edward.

And bond they do. After nearly 2 acts worth of scenes of doubt and confusion, Edward and Bella admit they are destined to be together. Therein comes the major complication. Aware to us from the start, Bella is thusly introduced to Edward's deepest secret; he is a vampire. Moreover, her blood has a particular scent that drives him near frenzy. He fears that he cannot control the instinct to devour her but he cannot stay away from her either. For her part Bella is infatuated with Edward's stunning edifice. The kid is great looking. Add that face to his tortured poet manner and he is irresistible.

Now, if you can't follow the glaring metaphors, shining nearly as bright as Edward's diamond dust skin in the bright sunlight (I'll explain later), you really should pay closer attention. Meyers and now screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg, have crafted an allegory about sex, teens, hormones, abstinence and marriage. Lust, temptation and resistance are Twilight's true subjects. Vampires are merely the construct, an enticement to read more about the strength it takes to love but not make love. If Bella and Edward are anything more than lusty teens longing for a backseat or basement couch I'll eat my hat.

The dangers of the vampire are merely a representation of all that could go wrong should the teens indulge their urges. Edward could infect or even kill Bella if he allowed things to go to far. Indeed, Edward carries the burden of much of the metaphor, his being the dangerous condition. Bella is merely tempting and tempted.

The metonymy is fairly simpleminded and once you have sussed it out and discarded it as obvious; you are left with director Catherine Hardwicke and her exceptionally mediocre effort to give it cinematic life. Twilight the movie, beyond the metaphor, is a flabby, shabby effort of a mind numbing length and amateur special effects. Then there is absolute disregard for all that we know of vampires. Edward and his family walk in daylight. No burning skin, no running for cover, not even a passing reference to the need for sunscreen. Now, the Cullen clan does have issues with the sun but it's not a fiery death they fear.

Click here for my review

Movie Review Jumper

Jumper (2008) 

Directed by Doug Liman 

Written by David S. Goyer, Simon Kinberg, Jim Uhls 

Starring Hayden Christensen, Jamie Bell, Rachel Bilson, Kristen Stewart, Michael Rooker, Anna Sophia Robb, Diane Lane, Samuel L. Jackson 

Release Date February 14th, 2008

Published February 13th, 2008

David Rice (Hayden Christensen) can be anywhere he imagines in a moment's notice. Surfing in Hawaii, lunching atop the sphinx, or across his apartment without having to step around the coffee table, David has the ability "Jump" anywhere. It's a cool talent to have. David uses this unique talent to rob banks. Don't fret, he leaves IOU's. That is the premise of Jumper the latest from director Doug Liman starring the perpetually quivery Hayden Christenson.

As a teenager David Rice fell through the thin ice of a lake and was nearly killed. At the last moment he imagined the local library and was transported there. Slowly coming to grips with this new ability to go anywhere he wants with a single thought, David starts by using his new ability to escape his angry bitter father (Michael Rooker). Needing a getaway location, David takes off for New York and is soon robbing banks to finance a comfortable lifestyle. It is then that he meets Roland Cox (Samuel L. Jackson) who is some kind of supernatural cop. Roland explains the plot, David is a Jumper and Roland is a Paladin. Paladin's hunt Jumpers and kill them.

Narrowly escaping his paladin encounter, David meets a fellow Jumper named Griffin (Jamie Bell) and is warned that Paladins will kill everyone he has ever known in their attempt to find him. This leads David back home and to the girl who he left behind, Millie (Rachel Bilson). While David watches out for the Paladins, he and Millie rekindle their childhood romance. Once the Paladins arrive however, it kicks off a worldwide war between Jumpers and Paladins. 

It's not a bad comic book premise really. The problem is it's underdeveloped as a movie. The rules for Jumpers and Paladins are vague and are sloppily made up as the movie goes. along. Rules then are disregarded when the plot requires them to be. The idea is merely a hanger on which director Doug Liman and his effects team can hang a number of huge special effects shots and a travelogue of worldwide locations from Tokyo to London to Rome to whatever other touristy location a majority of the audience might recognize. The effects aren't bad, for the most part, but who cares. If I wanted to watch the world go by I would watch the Travel Channel.

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review In the Land of Women

In the Land of Women (2007) 

Directed by Jon Kasden 

Written by Jon Kasden 

Starring Adam Brody, Kristen Stewart, Meg Ryan, Olympia Dukakis, Makenzie Vega 

Release Date April 20th, 2007 

Published April 25th, 2007 

As a writer myself, I am naturally sympathetic to writers as characters. I was seduced by Sideways because Paul Giamatti's sad sack, unsuccessful novelist, hit just a little close to home. Barton Fink is an almost impenetrable piece; but for the writers of the world it's a work of uncompromising genius because it's about a writer.

So, I was destined to identify in some way with Adam Brody's Carter in the new movie In The Land of Women. As a heart broken writer myself, I can easily relate to the selfish, self loathing, self centered sadness that leads one to write either wondrous prose or sad pathetic trash. Carter's writing is left purposefully vague but the writer's angst is written on Brody's face in a star-making performance.

As Carter Webb; screenwriter for 'feature length softcore erotica', Adam Brody captures that writer's longing to take what has been so desperately percolating in his brain and communicate it to a world he just knows will understand its genius. In Carter's case it's a story about his time in a pricey private high school; far removed from the typical high school experiences of the John Hughes variety.

He's been trying to write this story for years but can't find the words. He will put this story further to the side when his actress girlfriend, Sophie (Elena Anaya), gets her big break and dumps him. Devastated and looking for an escape; Carter takes up an offer to care for his grandmother, Phyllis (Olympia Dukakis), in a tiny Michigan suburb; miles and miles away from his disappointments in Los Angeles.

On his arrival in Michigan Carter finds his grandmother living in filth and slightly demented. On the bright side; his neighbors are a fantastic group of women. There is Sarah (Meg Ryan), mother of two wonderful daughters and the wife of a louse who she knows, without actual evidence, is cheating on her. Smart and headstrong and more than a little quirky, Sarah is the first to befriend Carter when he moves in.

Sarah's daughter Lucy (Kristen Stewart) is equally resourceful and headstrong but far more impetuous than her mother. She takes on Carter after her mom asks her to take him to a movie. Lucy's little sister Paige (Mackenzie Vega), is a strange little thing, funny but just slightly off in every way. This quirky trio each bring Carter into their confidence for their own reasons and through them Carter finds some of the fulfillment his life was lacking.

If you aren't rolling your eyes at that description then you are quite generous. My description doesn't quite do justice to the more subtle pleasures of In The Land of Women. Don't get me wrong, my description is accurate, but thanks to a talented ensemble, the more ugh-worthy moments become palatable and the truly enjoyable moments will have you smiling till the end.

Jonathan Kasdan is the progeny of Hollywood royalty. His father, Lawrence Kasdan, directed Body Heat, The Big Chill and Grand Canyon. Brother Jake Kasdan is a rising star, writer and director in his own right; whose Zero Effect is an underappreciated gem. The pedigree gives Jonathan a professional edge and that professional edge is not just the rub of a famous family.

Jonathan is a legit talent, smart with his camera with a good sense of control over his storytelling. He needs to work on his pacing; at times In The Land of Women drags; nearly to a halt; but, for the most part, the good natured spirit and a very talented ensemble carries over the boring aspects. The story is a little ham-fisted thanks to a couple of truly melodramatic plot points, the disease of the week, and the conveniently evil spouse, but, with time, I'm sure, Jon Kasdan will eventually work out the kinks.

Like his director, Adam Brody is a legit talent. The kid languished for a few overly ironic seasons on TV's The O.C. Now with the yoke of weekly teen melodramatics off of his shoulders he really shows what a funny, sardonic and appealing actor he truly is. His Carter Webb is a lovable sort who has your sympathy from his first pathetic whimper to his final irony laced smile.

Reminiscent of a young Tom Hanks in the looks department, he could be the heir to the throne that Robert Downey Jr was never able to claim. Filling the void of the generation's sad comic voice, Brody is angst rendered in flesh with the perfect sardonic armor and just good looking enough to be appealing beyond his humor. Downey Jr. was set to become to the 80's teens what Brody could be to this upcoming generation, a hipster icon.

Against my better judgment, I liked much of In The Land of Women. The melodramatic elements can be a little irritating and overwrought, and the film drags a bit in the middle but the overall movie works. It works because Jon Kasdan is a director with a passionate voice and a genuine love of these characters and because of a tremendously talented ensemble lead by rising star Adam Brody and a strong comeback performance by the lovable Meg Ryan.

No need to wait for the DVD, take someone you like to see In The Land of Women.

Movie Review: Zathura

Zathura (2005) 

Directed by Jon Favreau 

Written by David Koepp, John Kamps

Starring Josh Hutcherson, Jonah Bobo, Dax Shepard, Kristen Stewart, Tim Robbins 

Release Date November 11th, 2005 

Published November 10th, 2005

It is one thing for Hollywood studios to slap together big, dumb, loud blockbusters for teens and adults. But when they extend that brainless genre to kids that is where we as an audience must draw the line. The new kid targeted adventure flick Zathura is a rarity for its kind: a big, dumb, loud action movie aimed at the pre-teen market.

Two bratty brothers, Walter (Josh Hutcherson) and Danny (Jonah Bobo), bicker and annoy one another until Danny discovers a unique board game in the basement of their dad's (Tim Robbins) house. The game, Zathura, is a 50's era space adventure, a metal gears and paint concoction that was likely the X-Box of it's time.

Danny the younger brother wants to play but older brother Walter just wants to watch Sportscenter. When Danny turns the key and presses a button to start the game Walter finds he will have to play whether he likes it or not. The game has shot the boys into space and the only way to get home is to finish the game before the various meteor showers, robot malfunctions, or bloodthirsty aliens finish them.

Along for the ride is the boys' sister, Lisa (Kristen Stewart), who was supposed to keep them out of trouble but because of the game, she now finds herself frozen in cryo-sleep, as one of the game cards helpfully explains. Also joining the boys for this adventure is an astronaut (Dax Shepard) who was lost in space some 15 years ago after he and his brother had played the game.

Directed by Jon Favreau, Zathura is a surprisingly bombastic and ridiculous exercise in over modulated special effects and a complete lack of subtlety. The light touch that Favreau brought to his last kiddie flick, the very funny Elf, has been replaced in Zathura by a sledgehammer, hammering into place a pair of unlikable, often nasty, child characters into a predictable plot that is desperately padded to reach a feature length run time.

Zathura was adapted by David Koepp from a short illustrated novel by Chris Van Allsburg. The padding is necessary because Van Allsburg's book is a far from feature length at a mere 32 pages. Many of those pages are filled only with Van Allsburg's lovely charcoal drawings. That does illustrate the challenge that Jon Favreau and David Koepp faced in this adaptation but it does not excuse the choice to make the characters insufferable little brats who push the plot forward with the worst decisions imaginable all while the entire movie shrieks and rumbles like a sugared up kindergarten class. 

The special effects in Zathura are the film's strong point. Jon Favreau creates a terrifically cartoonish outer space that is perfectly in line with a child's imagination. The robots and aliens are cool looking, with the robot also providing the films few moments of genuine laughter. If I have any issue with the aliens it's that they may be a little too scary for the young audience that is being sought after by Zathura.

Unfortunately, the weak points of Zathura are a group of unlikable, unendurable characters. The brothers bicker constantly and meanly and when they aren't bickering with each other they are bickering with their dad played by Tim Robbins in a forgettable cameo or they are bickering with their even less enjoyable sister played by Kristen Stewart. Are kids, especially young brothers, often at each other's throats? Yeah, maybe. Does that make me want to watch a movie about them being at each others throat's? No, especially when the film is supposed to be a fun filled space adventure.

The game plot of Zathura is a direct lift from Jumanji and that is not surprising as both are based on books by Chris Van Allsburg. The books were, in fact, sequels though in the movie there is no recognition of one to the other aside from essentially similar plots.  Where Jumanji succeeds and Zathura fails is in creating characters we like and enjoy spending time with. Robin Williams may have his moments of being cloying and pandering but he can always pull out a big joke here and there and when he's on he is one of the funniest actors in the business. Jumanji only has a few moments of the best of Robin Williams but I will take those few moments over just about anything in the laughless Zathura.

Where is the wonder of a trip to space? Where is the excitement of adventure? In Zathura we have nothing but kids running from loud explosions in between bursts of ugly brotherly spats. Couldn't we have just one scene where the kids enjoy the magic of space? I realize the astronaut has long since been replaced by the sports or TV celebrity in the imaginations of children but come on, space is space and what kid couldn't find being in outer space more important than fighting with their sibling?

Zathura is a frustrating 84 minutes of big, dumb, loud action, special effects and sibling rivalry. Most frustrating, however, is the missed potential of such an interesting plot and such an interesting director. Jon Favreau has the potential to be a very good director if he can develop his characters better than he does in Zathura. He has the right ideas in there but the wrong approach and thus Zathura is a less than stellar effort. Safe for kids between 10 and 13 who enjoy loud noises and big bright explosions Zathura certainly has an audience but it's an audience that would be better served with more attention to character than to how loud you can crank the volume before the speakers blow.

Movie Review: Adventureland

Adventureland (2009) 

Directed by Greg Mottola 

Written by Greg Mottola 

Starring Kristen Stewart, Jesse Eisenberg, Ryan Reynolds, Bill Hader, Matt Bush, Kristen Wiig, 

Release Date April 3rd, 2009 

Published April 2nd, 2009 

When one thinks of Superbad, the hit 2007 comedy from director Greg Mottola, the first word that comes to mind is not thoughtful. That word however, provides a strong description of Greg Mottola's two other directorial efforts. The Daytrippers, the film that brought Mottola to the attention of Hollywood decision makers, was a thoughtful and gentle comic road trip. Now comes Adventureland which, like Daytrippers, is thoughtful as well as gentle nostalgic, sentimental and romantic in its offbeat way.

Jesse Eisenberg stars in Adventureland as Brennen a soon to be New York college student who was  planning for a trip to Europe for the entire the summer before college. That was before his dad lost his job and Brennen lost his funding. Now, even college in New York is in question unless Brennan can start raising money on his own.

Being more of a thinker than a laborer, Brennen finds there is not much out there in the unskilled labor market. Thankfully, an old friend, Frigo (Matt Bush), is able to land him a gig at a local amusement park, Adventureland. Brennen will be in the games section where every contest is rigged and no one, NO ONE is allowed to win a big ass panda. These are the rules laid down by the park manager Bobby (Bill Hader) and his wife Paulette (Kristen Wiig).

With only the goal of making money on his mind, Brennen is shocked when he meets Em (Kristen Stewart) a thoughtful outcast not unlike himself. The two spark some romantic chemistry quickly but there are any number of complications that will keep them apart, not the least of which is Brennen's virgin status and Em's shall we say 'experience'. This isn't so much a boundary as a truth. You will find throughout this wonderful movie that truth is a default setting for these characters no matter how complicated that truth is.

Click here for my review

Movie Review: Catch that Kid

Catch that Kid (2004) 

Directed by Bart Freundlich 

Written by Michael Brandt, Derek Haas 

Starring Kristen Stewart, Sam Robards, Jennifer Beals, Max Thierot, Corbin Bleu, James LeGros

Release Date February 6th, 2004

Published February 5th, 2004

With the success of Spy Kids, a whole genre is springing up - the Kids Action-Adventure movie. The newest example of this burgeoning genre is the kiddy heist flick Catch That Kid. Based on a Danish blockbuster called Klatretosen, Catch That Kid is a clever little heist picture with three terrific young actors and a director, Bart Freundlich, who's previous work would never lead you to believe he could pull this off.

Kristen Stewart stars as Maddy Phillips, the adventurous daughter of a mountain climber (Sam Robards), who once climbed Mount Everest. Unfortunately, Dad had a massive fall in his climb and now would prefer his daughter not climb. Maddy's mother Molly (Jennifer Beals) absolutely forbids her daughter from climbing. Of course, when we first meet Maddy she is scaling a water tower while on her cell phone lying to her mom.

Maddy's dad owns a local go-cart track where Maddy's friend Gus (Max Thierot) is a mechanic building engines for his brother’s go-carts. Maddy doesn't know it but Gus has a huge crush on her. So does Maddy's other friend Austin (Corbin Bleu), a computer geek who's skills will no doubt come in handy later in the film.

The film’s heist plot is set in motion when Maddy's Dad is suddenly struck paralyzed from the neck down, a recurring injury from his fall. The doctors say he will never walk again unless he can get to Europe for an experimental surgery. Unfortunately, that surgery costs 250 grand, money the family surely does not have. There is hope that Maddy's Mom may be able to get a loan from the local bank where she is currently installing a high tech security system but the evil bank manager Mr. Brisbane (Michael Des Barres) denies the loan.

So with the help of her friends, Maddy concocts an elaborate heist that will incorporate Gus' mechanical skills, Austin's computer skills and her climbing ability. While Gus plans the getaway and Austin cracks the security, Maddy must scale the bank walls and climb nearly one hundred feet in the air where the vault is suspended, part of a very cool, very complicated security setup that makes the film’s heist sequence a lot of fun and separates it from other heist films. Maddy must also watch her baby sister, while pulling this off, a nice comic touch.

While there is something a little unseemly about pre-teens who turn to crime in order to solve their problems, the film deftly dances around such moral quandaries. Director Bart Freundlich, who previous films were the adult dramas World Traveler and Myth Of Fingerprints, surprises us with his ability to direct such light, fun material. The pacing keeps the audience from worrying too much about the moral of the film and more focused on the action and the likable characters.

The young actors, especially Kristen Stewart, are terrific. It's the adult characters who are the problem. Jennifer Beals and Sam Robards don't have much screen time so they make little impression. Michael Des Barres as the villain is truly dreadful. The former rock singer preens and chews screen and just stinks up the screen whenever he is on. John Carroll Lynch has a small role as an assistant bank manager and like Des Barres, he is utterly grating.

Still there is enough good about Catch That Kid to outweigh the bad. Especially young Kristen Stewart who should have a big career ahead of her. The plot is fun and surprisingly original and exciting. As long as the film keeps it's pace and it's villains to a minimum, it's not a bad flick. A good way for mom and dad to kill an afternoon with the kids. On an odd note, the film was released under two different titles, Catch That Kid and Mission Without Permission. The film retained the title Mission Without Permission for certain foreign markets.

Movie Review Panic Room

Panic Room (2002) 

Directed by David Fincher

Written by David Koepp 

Starring Jodie Foster, Kristen Stewart, Forrest Whitaker, Jared Leto, Dwight Yoakam

Release Date March 29th, 2002 

Published March 28th, 2002 

David Fincher is my favorite director. For the uninitiated, Fincher is the brilliant eye behind the lens of Fight Club and Seven, two stylishly violent, high voltage thrillers that pair catchy visuals with blistering commentary on our consumer culture. Fincher's new film, Panic Room, doesn't aspire to social commentary, it's just a straight edge thriller easy to enjoy as long as you don't expect too much from it.

Panic Room stars Jodie Foster as Meg Altman, a divorcee raising a teen daughter (Kristen Stewart) and looking for a new home. A real estate agent shows Meg a gorgeous New York brownstone. 3-stories, multiple bedrooms, single bath, cable ready, and oh yeah there is this little room built by the ultra-paranoid former tenant. This room is essentially a safe built for a human being, with two feet of cement encasing two feet of steel on each side of the 6 by 10 foot area. 

The panic room is meant to keep the owner safe from a break in. Needless to say Meg and her daughter move in immediately and on their first night there is a break in, forcing Meg and her daughter to put the panic room to use. Unfortunately for Meg, the men behind the break in, Junior (Jared Leto), Burnham (Forest Whitaker) and Raoul (Dwight Yoakam, yes Dwight Yoakam playing a guy named Raoul), need to get into the panic room to get what they came for.

The first half of Panic Room encompasses the character introductions, and explores the space of the panic room and it's very good. Director David Fincher's camera helps build suspense through shadow and light. The props go to Oscar winner Conrad W. Hall's Cinematography as well for giving the apartment and the titular panic room dimension, we want a strong sense of the space and we get that while also ramping up tension between the thieves and our innocent mom and daughter duo. 

Once Meg and her daughter are inside the panic room, the film begins to lose steam. There are still a few good moments but the attempts by the gang to get inside the panic room are right out of MacGyver's playbook as are Meg's attempts to thwart them. It is those MacGyver-like logical leaps like Meg's figuring out how to hook up the panic room’s phone line and Burnham’s oh so lucky guess as to what she's doing that border on the ridiculous. That scene, amongst others, undermines the tension and kills some of the suspense.

Still, Panic Room is not a bad movie. Jodie Foster is good in a very difficult role that seems the least defined of all of the characters. Each of the bad guys is able to communicate their motives and personalities in their interaction with each other while Foster's only interaction for most of the film is her daughter, which is confined to being the protective mother. Forest Whitaker and Jared Leto have good chemistry as a team but Dwight Yoakam seems woefully miscast as Raoul, the supposed intimidator who is more laughable than imposing. 

Visually, Fincher is very much on his game, with unique camera work and one of the most visually interesting credit sequences I've ever seen. Be forewarned: if you have a problem with motion sickness you may want to bring some medicine because Fincher's camera rolling through walls and windows and flying through keyholes and air ducts can be somewhat jarring.

Movie Review: Cold Creek Manor

Cold Creek Manor (2003) 

Directed by Mike Figgis 

Written by Richard Jeffries 

Starring Dennis Quaid, Sharon Stone, Kristen Stewart, Stephen Dorff

Release Date September 19th, 2003 

Published September 18th, 2003 

Why does Hollywood seem to dislike anyone who lives outside of New York or Los Angeles? A number of recent releases show big city folk wandering off to the sticks to get away from it all and finding themselves terrorized by small town folk who don't take kindly to strangers (pause to spit tobacco). The horror films Wrong Turn and Cabin Fever both featured the scary backwoods redneck types, and the new Mike Figgis film, Cold Creek Manor, also recycles the cliché of the whacked-out redneck. That all three of these most recent examples are also less-than-stellar films should tell you something.

Dennis Quaid stars in Cold Creek Manor as Cooper Tilson, a documentary filmmaker and stay-at-home dad to two precocious kids (Kristen Stewart and Ryan Wilson). Cooper's wife, Leah Tilson (Sharon Stone), is some sort of executive, constantly jetting off to important meetings and missing her family. When their son is nearly killed by an angry New York driver, mom and dad decide that it's time to give up city life and live the ultimate yuppie fantasy of a beautiful country home.

In true money pit fashion, however, the couple chooses the absolute wrong house, a place called Cold Creek Manor. It's the kind of place that, when it's name is spoken, people look away in horror. Of course, the city folk are dense enough not to notice the many warning signs. One thing they can't avoid noticing however is the manor's former owner Dale Massie (Stephen Dorff), who, upon leaving prison, promptly breaks into the home and joins the family for dinner. As a courtesy for having sold off all of Dale's belongings, they hire him on to help rehab the rundown house.

Needless to say, Dale has some bad intentions toward his home’s new occupants and it's not long before the crazed redneck is terrorizing the family. Call it Cape Fear-light; we have definitely seen this whole thing before. The odd thing is, the trailer and commercials seemed to play up a supernatural element to the story. It's an element that is not in the actual film, where the melodrama is all too human.

Sharon Stone makes an obvious attempt to soften her image in Cold Creek Manor, playing a loving mother as opposed to her typecast sexpot roles. Unfortunately, Stone's performance in Cold Creek Manor only serves to highlight exactly why she has been typecast. Stone radiates the warmth of an icy river. Writer Richard Jeffries doesn't help much by giving her a weepy victim role instead of a fully fleshed out character.

Dennis Quaid is only slightly more effective as the father character but much of that is based on his cultivated career playing a wide range of likable good guys. Also playing opposite Stephen Dorff's well-played psycho gives Quaid the opportunity to bounce off of some good character work. Indeed, Stephen Dorff is the film’s true star. Though his character is not very well written, he infuses it with the necessary menace and smarminess to make it as believable as it can be within the ridiculously over the top story.

It might have seemed confusing to see such a mercurial director as Mike Figgis directing such a conventional thriller. The only reason I can see why he made Cold Creek Manor was to indulge his love of architecture. As he did in his little seen but well respected film Liebestraum, Figgis directs his sets better than his actors. You can see where this script would appeal to Figgis because it allows him to film a house of exquisite design. The house in Cold Creek Manor is in fact at times better shot than its stars, Ms. Stone in particular.

But great architecture does not make a great movie. Cold Creek Manor is too conventional, stereotypical and languidly paced to be a great movie, or even a good movie for that matter.

Movie Review: The Runaways

The Runaways (2010) 

Directed by Fioria Sigismondi 

Written by Fioria Sigismondi 

Starring Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning, Michael Shannon 

Release Date March 19th, 2010 

Published March 18th, 2010 

No wonder we are so hyper-vigilant about teen sexuality these days. Apparently in the 1970's every adult in the country was looking the other way. How else to explain how “The Runaways” became overnight sensations selling the sexuality of 15 year old lead singer Cherie Currie all the way to world tours and platinum records.

Now, I'm sure there was outrage at the time but that is not in the movie “The Runaways.” Instead we get a film that is as eager to capitalize on the sexuality of 16 year old Dakota Fanning as much as real life record exec Kim Fowley, portrayed in the film by Oscar nominee Michael Shannon, who eagerly and greedily exploited the real Cherie Currie.

Based on Currie's biographical account of her life, “Neon Angel,” “The Runaways” stars Fanning as the David Bowie influenced Currie and “Twiilght's” Kristen Stewart as the Suzy Quatro loving Joan Jett. Thrust together by record exec Kim Fowley, who saw the novel possibilities of an all girl punk band just as punk was bubbling up to the mainstream, the two teenagers from broken homes bonded and made memorable music and more together.

Find my full length review at Beat.Media 

Movie Review: The Messengers

The Messengers (2007)

Directed by The Pang Brothers 

Written by Mark Wheaton

Starring Kristen Stewart, Dylan McDermott, Penelope Ann Miller, John Corbett 

Release Date February 2nd, 2007

Published February 1st, 2007

The two worst things to happen to modern horror are the rise of the PG-13 rating as a box office force and the rising influence of atmospheric Japanese horror movies. The PG-13 rips the guts out of the genre by not allowing guts to be ripped out on screen anymore. The rating robs the genre of its kink and cheap thrills and leaves nothing but the shrill screams of the soundtrack.

The influence of Japanese horror wouldn't be such a bad thing if American filmmakers could mimic it well. Unfortunately, as demonstrated by two The Ring's and two Grudge movies and the pitiful Dark Water with Jennifer Connelly, clearly we can't. Both of these bad trends come together in the latest haunted house horror flick The Messengers.

The last thing young Jess (Kristen Stewart) wants is to move to the middle of nowhere, North Dakota. Unfortunately for Jess, her dad Roy (Dylan McDermott) and mom Denise (Penelope Ann Miller), are forcing her to do just that. Dad has decided he is going to become a sunflower farmer and has used the family's savings to buy a dilapidated farmhouse and some empty acres.

Naturally, the house was once the site of a grizzly murder. A mother, her daughter, and young son, were killed in this house and their spirits haven't left. Only Jess's baby brother Ben can see the ghosts, though eventually, Jess gets up close and personal when they try and kill her. Joining the family on the farm is a mysterious wandering farmhand named Burwell (John Corbett) who may or may not have some history of his own tied up in the old house.

Commercials for The Messengers trade on the idea that small children, toddlers, can see things adults can't. It's an attention grabbing conceit. However, it has nothing to do with the movie that ends up on the screen. Yes, there is a toddler in the film and yes he does see the ghosts. However, the fact that the kid can see the ghosts has little, to no impact on the plot, it's more of a marketing tool intended to make you think of better movies in which kids see ghosts, The Sixth Sense. 

Director's Danny and Oxide Pang made the awkward but entertaining Japanese horror flick The Eye and now make their American debut with The Messengers. The new movie shares the debut picture's awkward style and low rent effects. What The Messengers lacks; and what The Eye had in abundance, is an original story. Working with first time writer Mark Wheaton, and from an idea from the man behind Jason X; Todd Farmer, the Pang Brothers deliver an uninspired bit of by the numbers direction.

There is some unintentional comedy in The Messengers, though not nearly enough for real camp fun. In one scene Dylan McDermott gets into it with some crows and ends up having to throw a haymaker at one, a dignity destroying bit of physical business. In another, John Corbett is engulfed by the evil black birds, reminiscent of a scene from The Simpsons in which Homer is attacked by crows. Oh, did I mention the fact that these bizarre bird attacks are entirely random and never actually linked to the plot? That's kind of important.

The special effects of The Messengers are about as bad as the directors fetish for black birds. The ghosts of The Messengers are The Grudge knockoffs with cracking bones and crawling on all fours on floors, walls and ceilings. Each has that very obvious digital glow about them that let's the audience know the filmmakers didn't have the money for the top notch digital effects.

The Messengers is a mindless rehash of a dozen other bad horror movies from The Ring and The Grudge to the long forgotten Sharon Stone-Dennis Quaid teaming Cold Creek Manor whose creators might consider looking into copyright infringement, the stories are so similar. The estate of the late great Alfred Hitchcock might consider litigation as well. considering The Messengers' oddball, non-plot related, bird obsession.

However, relating anything Hitchcock-ian to this thrill-less thriller is a little too insulting to the great master. Forget I ever brought it up, just as you would forget The Messengers moments after seeing it.