Movie Review: Unstoppable

Unstoppable (2010) 

Directed by Tony Scott 

Written by Mark Bomback 

Starring Denzel Washington, Chris Pine, Ethan Suplee, Rosario Dawson 

Release Date November 12th, 2010 

Published November 11th, 2010 

“Unstoppable” is the classic mousetrap thriller. Set up, execution and payoff are so swift and efficient that it is nearly impossible to find fault. Director Tony Scott nails every element of “Unstoppable” from the relentless trouble of the train to the casting of mega-star Denzel Washington and up and comer Chris Pine to the elegant, low tech action finale. It’s not Shakespeare but as clapboard thrillers go, “Unstoppable” is pretty awesome.

In Western Pennsylvania Will (Chris Pine) is sleeping on his brother’s couch after a mistake separates him from his wife and child via restraining order. On the bright side, he has a brand new union job as a train conductor. It’s his first day and all he has to do is watch while a veteran Frank (Denzel Washington) shows him the ropes.

Meanwhile, in a train yard on the opposite end of the line a perfect storm of mistakes is unfolding. A dopey yard employee, Dewey (Ethan Suplee), was only supposed to move a train out of the way, a seemingly simple task, one that he’s done before. This time however, Dewey does absolutely everything wrong.

Having forgotten to switch tracks, Dewey jumps off the moving locomotive to hit the switch. While he’s doing this, the train kicks into high gear and takes off without a driver. Now, there is an 80 mile per hour unmanned missile rolling down the tracks. Along the same track is a train filled with kids on a field trip as well as Will and Frank.

I almost forgot to mention that the train cars are filled with toxic chemicals likely to explode if ignited say in a crash. Oh, and there is this giant curve in the track that is not all that far from Will’s wife’s apartment, a curve that an unmanned train going close to 80 MPH will not make. The only solution will involve Will and Frank having to tie their train to the out of control train and drag it to a stop, all at high speed.

If that doesn’t sound like fun to you then clearly you don’t like high adrenaline thrills. “Unstoppable” is a movie for thrill junkies who like big jolting action scenes, loud explosions where stuff ‘blows up good,’ and Denzel Washington in action hero mode. How do you not love this? What kind of person are you?

“Unstoppable” is one of the most unashamedly fun action movies to come along since the last time Denzel Washington teamed with director Tony Scott on the Subway thriller “The Taking of Pelham 123.” Where that film took its fun from John Travolta’s ham-tastic bad guy performance and Denzel’s ferocious everyman charisma, “Unstoppable’s” ham is the train and the way director Tony Scott treats it more like some snarling, escaped animal than as a train.

You may have seen in the trailer for “Unstoppable” a scene where police seem to be firing high powered weapons at the train. That was not an optical illusion; there really is a scene where police shoot at a moving train. There is some kind of explanation but the movie doesn’t linger on it. Rather, Tony Scott seems to enjoy the goofiness of this almost as much as we do.

“Unstoppable” is said to be loosely based on a true story but who cares. You aren’t seeing “Unstoppable” for some documentary recreation of events; you’re seeing “Unstoppable” for Denzel Washington and Captain Kirk battling a snarling beast that happens to be an out of control locomotive. Throw in the wild, over the top bombast of director Tony Scott with his swinging camera and bizarre color palette and you have a recipe for pure, adrenaline fueled fun.

Pardon my pull quote but “Unstoppable” is “Unstoppable” fun. Ha!

Movie Review Mr Woodcock

Mr. Woodcock (2007) 

Directed by Craig Gillespie 

Written by Michael Carnes, Josh Gilbert 

Starring Billy Bob Thornton, Seann William Scott, Susan Sarandon, Ethan Suplee, Amy Poehler, Melissa Sagemiller 

Release Date September 14th, 2007 

Published September 13th, 2007 

Billy Bob Thornton has managed the art of being a curmudgeon like no actor since the late George C. Scott. Thornton's every expression is a pained movement he is forced into by having to interact with others. This expertise in being a curmudgeon served him well as the drunken Santa Claus in Bad Santa. However, that same curmudgeon act was a bore in the 2005 remake of The Bad News Bears.

Now, Thornton brings his curmudgeon act to a new comedy called Mr. Woodcock and like Bad News Bears, the context fails to make the act funny. Rather, what we get in Mr. Woodcock is Thornton as a truly thorny character whom we never enjoy watching and who offers few moments of levity. Kind of an odd character for a comedy, don't you think?

John Farley (Seann William Scott) was traumatized as a kid by a sadistic gym teacher. That teacher was Mr. Woodcock (Billy Bob Thornton) and just over a decade since he delighted in tormenting chubby young John Farley, he's entering his life again. John, now a successful self help guru; with a popular book about letting go of painful memories, returns to his Nebraska home town to visit his mother (Susan) and to his horror, finds mom is dating Mr. Woodcock.

This sets up a confrontation between John and Mr. Woodcock that should be a hilarious battle of wills? Or, maybe a comedy of misunderstandings? No. Maybe? Hmm. How about a slapstick comedy or a gross out comedy? No. In fact, Mr. Woodcock isn't really much of a comedy at all. Don't get me wrong, I sensed an intent on the part of director Craig Gillespie for Mr. Woodcock to be a comedy, it's just not funny.

Billy Bob Thornton is believably cruel and sadistic as the evil old gym teacher. However, he is in fact so convincing and so dispiriting that he sucks the comic life right out of the movie. Woodcock is such a jerk that there is simply no joy to be taken from watching him. This leaves Seann William Scott's John to carry all of the film's humor and in this character he just can't do it, not many actors could.

Where, in the American Pie movies, and the underrated actioner The Rundown, Seann William Scott showed an energetic comic presence, in Mr. Woodcock, Scott is a wishy washy presence who we never have any respect for. Set up as some kind of Dr. Phil wannabe, Scott's John Farley is no match, at any point, for Billy Bob Thornton's Woodcock.

The only humor in Mr. Woodcock comes in the supporting performances of Ethan Suplee, as one of John Farley's former classmates, and Amy Poehler as John's alcoholic press agent. Yes, Suplee is basically doing  a small variation on his My Name Is Earl sidekick but he is nevertheless a humorous oasis in the comic desert that is Mr. Woodcock.

Ms. Poehler too is only doing a variation of characters we have seen before. What she brings to the role is a sharp energy that though not original, is at the very least funnier than anything else we have to deal with in Mr. Woodcock.

The biggest disappointment in Mr. Woodcock is also in the supporting cast. Susan Surandon plays John's mom and I was left wondering, why? This role holds nothing for Ms. Surandon to do other than be Susan Surandon. Her character has nothing funny to offer, aside from looking rather ridiculous in an oversized dress proclaiming her the Corn Queen of 1970, which admittedly made me smile, briefly.

However, this role could have been played by any number of different actresses without affecting the role in any way. Susan Surandon is far too big a star for such a throwaway role.

Mr. Woodcock is a mean-spirited, unfunny take on the same character Billy Bob Thornton has been playing since he escaped the world of the character actor. The character, to my estimation, is getting less and less funny with every outing and Mr. Thornton would do well to find himself a character who smiles once in a while or is, at the very least, not such a buzzkill.

If he must play a buzzkill there must be some way to make that funny. Mr. Woodcock never finds a way to make this buzzkill funny, he's just a jerk.

Movie Review: Without a Paddle

Without a Paddle (2004) 

Directed by Steven Brill 

Written by Jay Leggett, Mitch Rouse 

Starring Seth Green, Matthew Lillard, Dax Shepard, Ethan Suplee, Burt Reynolds 

Release Date August 20th, 2004

Published August 19th, 2004 

Despite what many screenwriters will tell you, writing a screenplay is not that hard. Not hard at all if you're not interested in writing a good script. Simply follow the formula used by the writers of Without A Paddle: take three successful films, say City Slickers, Road Trip, and Deliverance, extract the most basic elements from each, and combine them into your movie. Be sure to read Screenplay Writing for Dummies to fill out your screenplay into the proper salable length and you’re done.

Without A Paddle stars Matthew Lillard, Dax Shepard, and Seth Green as three childhood buddies confronting life as adults after a friend’s death. Lillard is Jerry, a computer programmer who hates his job and can't decide whether or not to settle down with his girlfriend; for you screenwriters looking for character development shorthand, Jerry is a surfer with all of the stereotypical attributes of a surfer to fill out his character. That saves you having to write him witty dialogue or anything that might resemble an interesting character; he is a placeholder for a stereotype.

Dax Shepard is Tom, a part-time criminal, gambler, and full time ladies man. Again, a little screenwriter shorthand, the writers here use other characters’ conversations to establish Tom's colorful background (prison stays, casino trips, orgies). This is helpful because now you don't have to write the character anything interesting to do, simply tell the audience he is wacky and you’re done. Tom is a placeholder for a backstory far more interesting than the character that is written.

Finally, there is Seth Green as Dan, a doctor ,and by far the most successful of the three friends. Now, screenwriters, pay attention to the Dan character because he is an example of a modern comic rule that states that any comedy with more than one male lead must have one of those male leads be super-neurotic. Establish various fears and phobias and then add the nerd accouterments, asthma inhaler, pocket protector, bad glasses and a general fear of women. Again, you save yourself having to write an interesting, funny character.

The plot finds our intrepid trio paying tribute to their dead buddy by taking the canoe trip they had always dreamed of. The trip is special because it involves searching for the lost loot of D. B Cooper, the urban legend who robbed passengers on an airplane and leaped from the plane at an altitude that could only have killed him. It is an intriguing legend -- neither his body nor his loot have never been found -- that has inspired more than one film. If only it had inspired a better film than this.

From there, the boys head for the backwoods of Oregon where they quickly lose their way while fighting off a bear, a crooked sheriff and a pair of redneck dope dealers played by Abe Benrubi and Ethan Suplee. Both Suplee and Benrubi have seen better days. Also on the trip the guys commune with a pair of nutty environmentalist chicks and a backwoodsman played by Burt Reynolds who may hold the key to the Cooper legend.

One rather unique problem in Without A Paddle is one I mentioned briefly earlier in this review and that is the back stories given to key characters. Both the dead friend Billy and Dax Shepard's Tom have back stories that are way more interesting than the story we are forced to watch. Billy has climbed Everest, dated supermodels, and rafted the most difficult rapids in the world. Tom has been in and out of prison with all sorts of oddball encounters with criminals, scam artists, and beautiful woman. We see almost none of that and instead are treated to a very mundane road movie.

Mundane is a rather kind description for a film made by guys who think it's funny to have Burt Reynolds in their movie. Not that they have written anything funny for Mr. Reynolds, they just think that Burt Reynolds is funny. Is it kitsch? Is it ironic in some way? I have no idea and I doubt that poor Mr. Reynolds knows either, or cares as long as the check clears. Reynolds long ago surrendered his likeness to parody and now only acts for the dollars.

We should not be surprised that such a hack movie would be Directed by Steven "Adam Sandler's bitch" Brill. Brill was lenser on both Mr. Deeds and Little Nicky as well as the wretched Disney kids flick Heavyweights with Ben Stiller. Brill may have actually written the book Screenplay Writing for Dummies, he wrote Little Nicky as well as the wrestling comedy (tragedy?) Ready To Rumble and two Mighty Ducks movies. To his defense, however, he is not credited on Without A Paddle; that dubious honor goes to TV veterans Mitch Rouse and Jay Leggett.

The three leads Lillard, Shepard, and Green don't do themselves any favors but they don't embarrass themselves. Lillard, to his credit, is becoming less and less abrasive and off-putting with each role. Green will always have a place as a second or third banana and he will always have endless goodwill for his voicework on TV's Family Guy. As for Shepard, the former Punk'd star, he has a little charm. I like how he bites into a punchline but he never had a chance with this poorly written role. Based on this it's difficult to pass any kind of judgment on Dax Shepard.

I must admit that I laughed during Without A Paddle more than once. However it was mostly a reflex action from remembering funnier jokes from Road Trip or City Slickers and one quick reference that a character makes to Ned Beatty's moment of truth in Deliverance. This film is a perfect example of the kind of assembly line comedy that Hollywood executives excel at making. It's relatively inoffensive, not entirely inept but utterly unmemorable comedy that you will forget as soon as the credits roll.

Movie Review The Butterfly Effect

The Butterfly Effect (2004) 

Directed by Eric Bress, J Mackye Gruber 

Written by Eric Bress, J Mackye Gruber 

Starring Ashton Kutcher, Amy Smart, Ethan Suplee, Logan Lerman, Melora Waters 

Release Date January 23rd, 2004 

Published January 22nd, 2004 

There is a classic Simpsons Halloween Special in which Homer attempts to fix the toaster and ends up turning it into a time machine. Every time Homer travels through time, he does something stupid that changes the future. I kept flashing back to this work of comic genius all throughout the new Ashton Kutcher sci-fi drama, The Butterfly Effect. The stories are similar but also, I had nothing better to do while the film kept repeating itself into oblivion.

Ashton Kutcher stars as Evan Treborn, a psych major at some nameless college. Evan has had an odd path to college involving a memory loaded with potholes he longs to fill. Evan gets his chance to restore his memories when he rediscovers his childhood journals. After a fainting spell brings back one of his lost memories, Evan is led back to his hometown and the girl he left behind, Kayleigh, played by Amy Smart.

Kayleigh and Evan were childhood sweethearts before Evan's mother (Melora Waters) moved the family away. Now Kayleigh is a waitress trapped in her hometown that has become a prison. When Evan shows up wanting to reminisce and Kayleigh is less than thrilled and the encounter unlocks a load of  bad memories for her. These memories are so bad in fact that Kayleigh takes her own life.

Shocked and saddened by Kayleigh’s death, Evan begins experimenting with his memories, eventually discovering that if he concentrates hard enough he can travel back in time and change his traumatic past. Using his childhood journals as his guide, Evan goes back and changes the past to save Kayleigh's life. When he awakens, things have indeed changed. Evan is now a popular frat guy and Kayleigh has joined him at college. The two are planning to be married. The odd thing is, Evan can remember everything that he changed.

As any number of Star Trek episodes can tell you, when you change the past you affect not just your future but everyone's future. So while Evan may have saved Kayleigh's life and seems to have set them both on an idyllic path, he neglected the futures of the other people in his past. They include Kayleigh's nutball brother Tommy and their friend Lenny (Elden Henson). Tommy tragically ends the perfect future Evan thought he wanted, forcing Evan to go back and change something else which also ends tragically and again and again and again until the audience wishes we could go back in time and get our money back.

There is no doubt that this is an interesting concept. Who doesn't have a small portion of their past they would like an opportunity to change? This is certainly not the first time this material has been attempted either. There’s the aforementioned Simpsons' episode, each of the Star Trek series, and most recently on the big screen in the latest adaptation of H.G Wells' The Time Machine. The problem with the device in The Butterfly Effect is that the film never establishes either likable characters or a scientific basis for Evan's abilities.

The character of Evan is essentially a selfish, amoral, whiner. His only concern is for himself and manipulating the past for his benefit until the end and that includes saving Kayleigh for himself. Evan's motivation was supposed to be his love for Kayleigh. Unfortunately, Kutcher and Smart have little to no chemistry.

The film’s themes don't make the film any easier to enjoy. The things that Evan, Kayleigh and their friends go through include, physical and emotional abuse, child porn, animal cruelty, and manslaughter. Not to mention the time that Evan's mentally deranged father tried to kill him. The film is meant to be dark, I get that, but this is really dark.

The saddest thing about The Butterfly Effect is the fact that the trailer was so terrific. Watching the trailer as it debuted back in December, I was ready to give the goofy Ashton Kutcher the benefit of the doubt in his first dramatic performance. Kutcher was not up to the challenge and The Butterfly Effect does not live up to the promise of the trailer. This is a sad, depressing, dark film.