Movie Review Live Free or Die Hard

Live Free or Die Hard (2007) 

Directed by Len Wiseman

Written by Mark Bomback

Starring Bruce Willis, Justin Long, Timothy Olyphant, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Maggie Q, Kevin Smith

Release Date June 27th, 2007

Published June 26th, 2007 

It's official, the Die Hard series has jumped the shark, to appropriate a TV term. Or maybe it's a literal term, there may have been an actual shark jumped in Live Free Or Die Hard. Lord knows director Len Wiseman has every other type of mayhem imaginable crammed into this over the top Tom and Jerry meets Wile E. Coyote concoction of cartoon action hero histrionics.

And yet, how cool is Bruce Willis that no matter how brainless the action, he never fails to entertain.

If there is one character in our cultural stew who can relate to 24's Jack Bauer; it's John McClane. This New York City cop has seen dangerous situations that only Kiefer Sutherland's CTU agent could relate to. In his latest entanglement, detective McClane finds himself smack dab in the middle of a cyber terrorism attack by a group formed inside our own government.

Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant) was once the go to guy in Washington when it came to cyber terrorism. However, when the government refused to listen to all of his warnings, he went rogue and decided to demostrate the possibilities of a cyber terror attack on America's infrastructure, and if he can get paid big bucks along the way, so be it.

Employing some of the greatest hackers in the country to help him carry off his attack, Gabriel sets in motion a plan that eventually leads to detective McClane getting stuck with a young hacker named Matthew Farrell (Justin Long) who unwittingly contributed some important info to the bad guys. McClane is tasked with getting the kid to Homeland Security in Washington but along the way the bad guys try to kill him. Let's just say, John McClane does not take kindly to being targeted for death.

Bruce Willis has an endless supply of cool and charisma that he can tap with a curl of his lip and a snarling curse word and he makes a good solid living off those characteristics in Live Free Or Die Hard. The rare working parts of this otherwise execrable piece of action trash is Willis' charm and his comic chemistry with the talented comic Long.

Live Free Or Die Hard plays like Michael Bay by way of Ed Wood. Director Len Wiseman, he of the Underworld movies, you know those vampire flicks about Kate Beckinsale's butt in tight black spandex; those Underworld movies, Len Wiseman directs Live Free Or Die Hard with a callous disregard for the brains of his audience. And, by the way, there is yet another hot babe in tight spandex, martial arts master Maggie Q, for good measure.

Like the old Dave Thomas-John Candy characters on SCTV, Wiseman's only joy comes from watching stuff blow up, blow up good. Early on it's Willis shooting a fire extinguisher with the precision of a military marksman; leading to the kind of explosion only McGyver could recreate. Later the film abandons even a television level of reality as John McClane drives up an embankment in a tunnel and dives out as the car flies directly into a helicopter.

Later, John drives a semi-truck that is attacked and destroyed by rockets and bullets from a harrier jet. McClane survives, as does some portion of the driving part of the semi which drives up a crumbling portion of overpass, also destroyed by the jet. Eventually John must abandon the truck and when does, he ends up landing on top of the soon to crash jet and then out running the jet as a giant fireball.

It's all so ludicrous that indeed it does take on a camp quality that makes it all goofily entertaining.

Live Free or Die Hard is high camp. With mind numbing explosions and mind blowing mindlessness, the film surpasses some of the greats of the high action, low brain power genre. A most recent comparison, Mr. and Mrs Smith starring Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, a film that fired more bullets than your average war and featured more evil henchmen than a James Bond villain convention, is really the only film in the last decade that can match Live Free or Die Hard explosion for explosion.

Both films are equally entertaining and that is because of pure starpower. Bruce Willis is such a force of personality that no matter how ludicrous the film becomes we in the audience are still emotionally involved and even compelled because we love this guy and this character so much. Whether it's years of earned loyalty from four movies in the series or simply the force of Willis' charisma, there is no denying the awesome star wattage of Bruce Willis.

Even as the film is a sieve in the brain department, the screenplay by committee does manage a few good chuckles at the expense of other film franchises. References to Spiderman and Transformers are just a couple of the meta moments from this otherwise brain free movie. Other inside moments include numerous references to the original Diehard.

Final Destination star Mary Elizabeth Winstead appears in Live Free or Die Hard as Lucy McClane, John's now grown daughter. Her inclusion here is really only as plot addendum to be used to refer to the first film. Yes, she does become involved in the climax of the film but that really is the lesser part of her purpose here.

And the final joke of Live Free or Die Hard is the use of director Kevin Smith in the role of Warlock, a hacker who lives in his mom's basement. Smith is legendary online for his love of all things movies, including the Die Hard series. His inclusion is one of many nods to and knocks on the internet community that has been a Live Free or Die Hard constituency since the film was rumored years ago with Bruce starring alongside Britney Spears as Lucy McClane. Sadly, screenwriters couldn't find a meta way to work a Britney joke into the script.

Live Free or Die Hard would be unforgivably dimwitted if it were not for Bruce Willis whose star persona is so powerful you can almost forgive all of the deplorable excess of his latest film. The Diehard franchise has likely run its course and there is certainly no need nor want for more of the tortured life of John McClane. So, if Live Free or Die Hard is in fact the final installment, let us remember John McClane as the most charismatic of our action heroes, an everyman superhero in street clothes who goes above and beyond the call of duty and the bounds of logic for our entertainment.

Bless you John McClane, and here's to what we hope will be a long and fruitful retirement.

Movie Review: Underworld Evolution

Underworld Evolution (2006) 

Directed by Len Wiseman 

Written by Danny McBride 

Starring Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Bill Nighy, Michael Sheen

Release Date January 20th, 2006

Published January 19th, 2006 

2003's Underworld began with a cool comic book fantasy premise. The idea? A war between vampires and werewolves. It's an idea that had horror fanboys creaming their shorts in anticipation of the long dreamed battle between two of literature's iconic villains. Unfortunately, with a first time director Len Wiseman at the helm, Underworld flailed and ultimately faltered in a hail of bullets and blue light. The novice director never got a handle on how iconic his subject matter was and instead became enamored of finding new ways to exploit the, ahem, virtues of his star Kate Beckinsale. And what virtues they are.

That film may have failed its central idea but, as a masturbation fantasy on home video, the film became a hit and less than two years later we get Underworld: Evolution. Filled with more fabulous shots of the leather clad Ms. Beckinsale, including one near nude scene, Underworld: Evolution once again fails its premise but does manage to reaffirm how hot Beckinsale is in tight black leather.

The first Underworld introduced us to our heroine Selene (Kate Beckinsale), a leather clad badass vampire who calls herself a death dealer. Her job is to hunt and kill the vampire's ancient enemy, the Lycan (werewolf for the uninitiated). By the end of the film she and her new man Michael (Scott Speedman), a newly created vamp/Lycan hybrid, had uncovered a shattering conspiracy and became outlaws on the run from both vampire and werewolf alike.

Evolution picks up where the first film left off with Selene and Michael seeking shelter and much needed blood. Unbeknownst to our heroes, another even more powerful vampire elder, the legendary Marcus (Tony Curran), has awakened and is searching for Selene. She, or more to the point her blood, holds the key to the secret of Marcus' brother's whereabouts. Marcus' brother happens to be the very first and deadliest werewolf in history. Marcus intends on freeing his brother and taking over the world.

It's not a great plot, in fact it's barely a passable plot. Len Wiseman, who wrote and directed the first film and contributed the story for this film, seems to have only one real obvious talent, and that talent is filming Kate Beckinsale, who happens to be his wife. The two met on the set of the first film and were married soon after production wrapped.

It's not hard to make Kate Beckinsale look good, her natural assets outlined in tight black leather are more than enough. Wiseman's camera, however, finds ways to accentuate her natural beauty to a distracting degree. Underworld: Evolution features a really hot sex scene between Michael and Selene that no doubt made the ultimate difference in the film's R-rating.

So with all of the issues I have with the plotting and some of the important technical aspects on the filmmaking side, what is it about Underworld: Evolution that I loved?

Underworld: Evolution picks up where the original Underworld left off with an unrelenting pace. After a brief respite resetting the vampire/lycan history, the film starts running fast and never stops. Ok, so vampires shooting at each other seems as odd as it did in the first film but, at the very least, there are a lot of bullets and they invariably hit their mark spilling buckets of CGI blood.

The violence of Underworld: Evolution is cartoonish and over the top but it works because there is so much of it. The fight scenes between Selene and Marcus and Michael and a giant CGI werewolf are goofy but still manage to be a lot of fun. When a downed helicopter with still spinning blades is introduced into the fight you just know some awesome carnage is soon to come, and Evolution does not disappoint.

Despite improving on the original Underworld, Evolution fails its super cool premise the same way the first film did. That is disappointing, but the film makes up for some of that disappointment by providing the kind of classic, highly stylized, extremely bloody violence that made me love horror films as a kid. Forget that horror porn garbage, give me classic, balls-out, over the top gore and save the mysoginistic insights into man's inhumanity to man for some unpleasant college course.

Underworld: Evolution is not nearly a great film but, compared to recent offerings in the horror genre, it's a breath of fresh bloody gore.

Movie Review: Underworld

Underworld (2003) 

Directed by Len Wiseman 

Written by Danny McBride 

Starring Kate Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Michael Sheen, Bill Nighy 

Release Date September 19th, 2003 

Published September 18th, 2003 

It sounded like such a great idea. A Romeo and Juliet style romance set against the backdrop of a war between vampires and werewolves. How could that not be endlessly cool! In the hands of director Len Wiseman, what sounded so cool in brief plot description becomes an overwrought, derivative genre piece that disappoints on so many levels.

Kate Beckinsale stars as Selene, a vampire whose gig is killing werewolves. You see, for years behind the backs of humans, vampires and werewolves have been waging a brutal and bloody war. Most recently the vampires had been dominant, but a new pack of werewolves has come to town with all sorts of new toys to kill vamps and a plan to unite the two species.

The key to the plot is a young doctor named Michael (Felicity's ineffectual dope Scott Speedman). Michael may or may not be the descendent of an unholy tryst between a werewolf and a vampire. His blood could hold the key to creating a super race that would end the war. After Michael and Selene's life, she makes it her mission to protect him, and as it happens, she falls in love with him.

Beckinsale decked out in black leather and big shiny guns not surprisingly evokes Trinity from The Matrix and like that supposedly "deep" film, Underworld has some high-minded ideals of its own. Beneath its surface of vamps and wolves are elements of Shakespeare, Greek tragedy and a vague allusion to the futility of war.

Unfortunately, it's all swathed in this illusion of cool. Outfitting the film in the look of The Matrix and siphoning off the classic appeal of all things Goth, the film buries its ideals beneath bullets, blood and worst of all, leaden dialogue.

The film’s first half an hour or so is quite interesting, showing vampires dominating werewolves, which is a true Goth fantasy. A group of pallid skinny Goths dominating big brutish bullies is straight out of some Cure fan’s wet dream.

For her part, Beckinsale is an effective heroine, believably tough and ruthless when she has to be. Her co-star Scott Speedman on the other hand is a wet blanket, a weepy, whiny wuss who can't even transform into a half vampire/half werewolf and not get beat up. Speedman has the look and the physique to play the part but the same soppiness that marked his character on the show Felicity is on display again in Underworld.

There is a good movie to be made from this setup. Clearly, the idea of vampires fighting werewolves has an endless appeal to fans of the genre. Underworld squanders this plot with overwrought cliches and too much black leather and bullets.