Movie Review Resident Evil Afterlife 3D

Resident Evil Afterlife (2010) 

Directed by Paul W.S Anderson

Written by Paul W.S Anderson 

Starring Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter, Kim Coates, Wentworth Miller, Boris Kodjoe

Release Date September 10th, 2010 

Published September 10th, 2010 

The idea behind each of the “Resident Evil” films is watching Milla Jovovich in states of undress or in exceptionally tight fitting outfits. Jovovich is a walking fetish for director Paul W.S Anderson and a legion of geek fans who flock even to the shoddiest made films to see the object of their lust.

Now, Milla Jovavich in tight leather and in 3D threatens to make going to see “Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D” something akin to attending a porn film with greasy, glassy eyed geeks under giant coats ducking low so what they're doing cannot be seen. Sure, there are zombies and guns, but if you can’t figure the true interest of the “Resident Evil” creators and fans, consider yourself naïve but also kind of lucky. I wish I didn’t know.

In this 3rd or 4th or who the hell cares numbered sequel in the video game to movie franchise, Alice (Jovovich) is in Japan seeking the headquarters of the evil umbrella corporation. They are the ones who invented the T-Virus that has turned most of humanity into flesh eating zombies while turning Alice superhuman.

Yes, Alice is infected by the T Virus but something makes her immune and adaptive and superhuman, thus she is perfect to take on an entire army of faceless corporate mercenaries. Oh, but Alice is not alone, in a move that will no doubt please the geeks in most disturbing fashion, Alice has been cloned and several of her are on the attack in tight leather jumpsuits.

That's just the opening minutes, once we've been whittled down to just the original Alice, we get to the much more dull story of Alice's travel to Alaska seeking her former friends and the search for a place called Arcadia that claims to be a disease free paradise filled with survivors and supplies.

Soon, Alice is reunited with Claire (fellow fetish object Ali Larter) and though Claire has lost her memory, they soon are traveling to Los Angeles searching for Arcadia and more survivors. The few they find are hiding in a giant prison surrounded by the undead. Boris Kodjoe and Wentworth Miller lead a ragtag bunch of cannon fodder destined to die horribly for our amusement.

The best of the supporting cast is not one of the survivors but rather a reject from another movie, a zombie giant with an ax/hammer he intends to use to crush all non-zombies. Where did this freak come from? Why is he killing survivors and not crushing zombies? Who knows, he makes for a cool visual and a strong foe for Alice and that's all that matters.

Sadly, the zombie giant ax/hammer guy, who looks like he wandered over from the unmade sequel to Silent Hill, is not the big bad in Resident Evil Afterlife. He's barely a foe at all, dispatched in a single scene with barely a fight. I wasn't rooting for the bad guy but he was the most interesting looking thing in the film, not counting Ms. Jovovich, and the film definitely loses something after his scene ends.

Don't let me overstate, the giant ax/hammer zombie dude is certainly not enough to recommend the dull slog of zombie goofiness that is “Resident Evil Afterlife.” There is no doubt that Milla Jovavich is completely gorgeous and looks amazing but this type of puerile interest cannot sustain interest in a full length feature and is really better suited to the privacy of home viewing, even without the 3D.

Movie Review Obsessed

Obsessed (2009) 

Directed by Steve Shill

Written by David Loughery 

Starring Beyonce, Idris Elba, Ali Larter, Bruce McGill, Jerry O'Connell 

Release Date April 23rd, 2009 

Published April 22nd, 2009 

The thriller Obsessed wants to be, needs to be a trashtastic spectacle. Instead what we get is a timid, messy, goofball effort that fails to deliver on the promise of its guilty pleasure premise. The commercials sold Beyonce vs that chick from Heroes that isn't Hayden Pannetiere. We want the catfight, we get a minor kitten tangle.

Idris Elba, who may be best known for his work on HBO's little seen but much loved drama The Wire, stars in Obsessed as Derek, a happily married executive trying to put his womanizing ways in the past. You see, his wife Sharon (Beyonce Knowles) was his assistant when they met. Now, as a married man he has a rule: No female assistants.

That rule however, has to be waived when Derek is stuck with a comely temp named Lisa. They met and  briefly, modestly flirted before Derek knew she was going to temp for him. Derek didn't think much of the flirtation but Lisa is consumed with it. It's not long before she is making excuses to get him alone and eventually making a serious play on him at the office Christmas party.

Derek turns her down at every turn but unfortunately, he kept the whole thing from his wife. When Lisa makes a dramatic move that gets the cops involved Sharon finds out and Derek's picturesque life is in shambles. Meanwhile, looming from the movie's marketing campaign is that Sharon-Lisa confrontation that is the film's selling point.

Directed by television veteran Stephen Shill, Obsessed is a surprisingly dull slog for what should be a trashy little B-movie filled with cheap thrills. It's as if Shill and company were reluctant to accept their place in the movie world. It's not that they really aspire beyond cheap thrillers but rather that they lack the commitment to be as cheap and nasty as a movie like this needs to be to be successful.

Obsessed wants desperately to match the zeitgeist capturing heights of the similarly themed 80's classic Fatal Attraction. However, it lacks the raw, visceral sexuality of that film, not to mention the utterly fearless performance of Glenn Close. Ali Larter is certainly no Glenn Close. Though quite a beauty, Larter can't Close's commitment and strange, frightening charisma.

As for pop star Beyonce, her limitations as an actress continue to show. Her face, though lovely, is a blank slate in even the most stressful of scenes. Her soundtrack contributions are filled with passion but her acting leaves a great deal to be desired. In the head to head fight with Larter we get some hair pulling and an obvious, predictable end so badly shaded in the opening scenes that you might laugh if you haven't checked out already. Dull, dimwitted and inept, Obsessed fails at the minimal goal of being a cheap thrill.

Movie Review: Final Destination 2

Final Destination 2 (2003) 

Directed by David R. Ellis 

Written by J. Mackye Gruber, Eric Bress

Starring Ali Later, A.J Cook, Tony Todd

Release Date January 31st, 2003 

Published January 30th, 2003 

The first Final Destination was your average teen slasher movie spiced up with some surprisingly un-PC gore, and made palatable by a pair of former X-Files producers (James Wong and Rob Morgan.) And do not forget its cast of Hollywood's hottest up-and-coming actors including Devon Sawa, Ali Larter and Seann William Scott. At a time when horror movies were shying away from classic gore Final Destination reveled in beheadings, electrocutions, and fiery, graphically-depicted explosions. Bubbling underneath the gore was a surprising amount of suspenseful setups that were as thrilling as the deaths were disgusting.

As surprisingly entertaining as the first Final Destination was the odds were stacked against the sequel. The fact that it is a sequel tells you that. Add to that the fact that the sequel was without the originals star, Sawa, and it's creative team, Wong and Morgan, and the pieces are in place for a disaster. Yet despite those losses Final Destination 2 manages to be almost as good as the original thanks to the same spirited non PC approach to blood and guts gore.

As we join the story, a teenage girl is lying in bed listening to a man on television discuss the tragedy of flight 180, the plane explosion that precipitated the original film's series of disasters. As the unknown expert relates the story of how none of the kids or teachers who miraculously avoided the plane explosion were still alive, a skeptical news anchor asks just what the expert is getting at and the expert explains that there is no chance or luck, there is only fate, or rather, death's design. The teenager named Kimberly pays little attention to the guy on TV as she and some friends are about to hit the road for spring break in Florida.

Once on the road, Kimberly begins to have strange visions of the people in the cars passing her on the highway. The visions lead to a fiery multiple car crash after a tree breaks a chain and falls off a truck flying through the windshield of a police car killing the cop. The cop car flips leading to a series of accidents that also kills Kimberly and her friends.

Kimberly then awakens suddenly; it was all a dream and she is still stopped at the on ramp that would lead her to the spot where the accident took place in her dream. She sees all the signs again, the same song on the radio the same cars in line behind her that would be involved in the accident. Kimberly decides to stop in the middle of the off ramp and prevent herself and everyone else from getting on the highway and thus saves their lives when the accident happens moments later. Unfortunately for Kimberly, after the same cop from her vision asks her step out of her car and explain why she was stopped on the off ramp, another truck that was involved in her vision plows through her car and kills her three friends. It's a car crash right out of a Faces of Death video.

From there, it's the same plot as the original. Since the people Kimberly held up on the on ramp would have died in the accident, death must now come back and collect them. In a series of increasingly gruesome deaths--impalings, beheadings, and a graphic crushing--nameless actors are offed to the disgusted delight of the audience.

Ali Larter is the only cast member from the original film to return for the sequel. Thought to be dead, her character, Clear Rivers had checked herself into a mental hospital in order to escape death. In the films most disappointing moment Clear explains what happened to Devon Sawa's Alex from the original film. Alex was thought to have survived the original but because they couldn't bring Sawa back for the sequel they invented a backstory explaining his characters demise that is highly unsatisfying. Also unsatisfying is Clear's fate, but I will leave the mystery for those of you who go see this film.

The good thing about Final Destination 2 is how faithful it is to the original. In fact, it is basically a retread of the original, only more disgusting; and that is what I liked about it. In an era where gory disgusting death is seen as being in bad taste, this film revels in bad taste. It's disgusting and bloody and graphic and if you don't have a strong stomach you will want to avoid it. The film's special effects and makeup go for the gusto with as much realism as possible (without actually killing anyone.) When a character is crushed under a giant piece of window glass, the blood spatter is enough to make the most hardened horror fan hold his stomach. When you see a film in which more than one character is impaled through the skull, you know you're not watching your average dull horror film.

Gruesome and disgusting Final Destination 2 sets out to horrify you with its gore and succeeds in eliciting shocked gasps and screams. Its over-the-top horror is outright comical and very fun to watch. It is a rare film in this day and age that ignores the cries of liberal politicians and goes balls out to disgust you, standards of good taste be damned. Final Destination 2 is that rare unapologetically twisted horror movie.