Movie Review The Haunted Mansion

The Haunted Mansion (2003) 

Directed by Rob Minkoff 

Written by David Berenbaum 

Starring Eddie Murphy, Terence Stamp, Wallace Shawn, Jennifer Tilly 

Release Date November 26th, 2003 

Published November 25th, 2003 

It may be time to finally put our memories of Eddie Murphy 'comic genius' away for good. It seems we will never see Murphy's talent ever again. With every mediocre family movie in which he picks up an eight figure paycheck, the Eddie Murphy of our memory dies a little. Eddie can't go and make an edgy, raunchy, action comedy anymore because it might cost him his next family movie paycheck. With his latest mediocre family movie, The Haunted Mansion, Murphy pounds yet another nail into the coffin of his former comic persona.

In The Haunted Mansion, which is based on the Disney theme park ride, Murphy is real estate maven Jim Evers of Evers and Evers Real Estate. The family's cringe-inducing catchphrase is “Evers and Evers making your family happy for Evers and Evers.” Yikes. In an all too familiar plot, Jim works way too much, and his wife Sara (Marsha Tomason) is upset that he doesn't spend enough time with the kids, daughter Megan (Aree Davis) and son Michael (Marc John Jeffries).

To that end, Jim proposes a family trip to the lake with no work at all for the entire weekend. No work until a new client comes calling with a huge property to sell. It's a gothic 1800s mansion called Gracie Manor and if the Evers want the listing they have to come immediately. In what is supposed to be a quick detour from their trip, the family stops at Gracie Manor to meet the owner and wind up spending the night with ghosts, zombies, and various other horror movie staples.

The ghosts in the Haunted Mansion are Master Gracie (Nathaniel Parker) and his staff, headed up by Ramsley (Terrence Stamp) the butler and his assistants played by Wallace Shawn and Dina Spybey. Jennifer Tilly also shows up as a gypsy in magic ball. The ghosts of Gracie Manor can only escape if their curse is lifted and the vagaries of the curse involve a woman who looks exactly like Sara Evers. When Sara is captured by the ghosts, it's up to Jim to save her and find some other way to lift the curse.

Eddie Murphy, as he does even in his worst films, shows flashes of the kind of comedy we know he's capable of. Murphy remains charismatic and occasionally that comic spark comes back. But sadly, for the most part, Eddie Murphy in The Haunter Mansion is in pick up a check mode. Murphy's Jim Evers is a bumbling scaredy cat channeling Abbott & Costello meet Frankenstein, until it's time for him to save the day. That might not sound bad but Murphy's strength is not being Abbott or Costello and his idea of broad physical comedy is forced and unpleasant. 

Poor Terrence Stamp looks, in every scene, as if he can barely keep from rolling his eyes. Stamp's boredom with this lame material is evident in his every gesture, facial expression and line of dialogue. Like Murphy, he's not here to make The Haunted Mansion good, he's here to get his paycheck and go do something else. This is a feeling that permeates the entirety of The Haunted Mansion, a complete disinterest in actually making a good movie. 

Director Rob Minkoff is one of those studio hacks that Disney keeps on the payroll just for movies like this: Mediocre, inoffensive family comedies that need merely to transfer script to screen. Minkoff shows little directorial flair in The Haunted Mansion. It's likely he could spend his entire career turning out mediocre hits like this one or another Stuart Little movie. The Haunted Mansion is not an offensively bad movie. Merely a mediocre movie. Of course I've often wondered just which is worse, mediocre or just plain bad.

Movie Review: Tideland

Tideland (2006) 

Directed by Terry Gilliam 

Written by Tony Grisoni, Terry Gilliam

Starring Jodelle Ferland, Brendan Fletcher, Janet McTeer, Jennifer Tilly, Jeff Bridges

Release Date October 27th, 2006

Published November 17th, 2006 

Writer-director Terry Gilliam has always directed his fantasies. Be they weird or myopic or paranoid, Gilliam directs entirely from his imagination, practical concerns be damned. His latest dream-scape is a perfect example. As Gilliam is forced to admit, in a bizarre opening behind the scenes prologue, Tideland is his own fantasy of what life would be like if he were a pre-teen girl. Based on a novel Mitch Cullen, Terry Gilliam's take on life as a tween girl is even more disturbing and bizarre than even his most ardent fans may expect.

Jeliza Rose (Jodelle Ferland), the daughter of a pair of serious heroin addicts, watches first her mom (Jennifer Tilly) and then her dad (Jeff Bridges), die of drug overdoses. The heroin prepared for mom and dad by Jeliza herself, causes her to recede into her self created fantasy world where a witch named Dell (Janet McTeer) and her mentally challenged henchman (Brenden Fletcher) become her pseudo family and the doll heads she wears as finger puppets carry on long, imaginative conversations with her.

Terry Gilliam isn't kidding when he claims this is what his life would be like were he a pre-teen girl. Wild, imaginative, perverse visions of love, death, sex and parenthood are all themes that Gilliam has tackled before. However, Tideland takes Gilliam's extreme fantasies to a whole new level of perversion. Perhaps Terry Gilliam has finally tweaked a puritan part of my brain but I find there to be something very wrong about presenting a Terry Gilliam fantasy through the eyes of this little girl. 

This is a fantasy that includes not just the drug overdose deaths of two parents from heroin doses administered by their own daughter but also the subsequent gutting, embalming, and slow decomposition of the father as the child continues chatting away as if dad were just napping. Then there is the creepy pseudo-romance. The pre-teen girl has a childish dalliance with the mentally challenged guy. In scenes that are both creepy and strangely sweet these two people who have no idea what intimacy is engage in the kind of childish exploration that would be cute if the mentally challenged guy weren't in his mid-twenties and quite insane.

There is, at the very least, some exceptional visual artwork in Tideland. Cinematographer Nicola Pecorini does some fine work giving vivid life to each of Terry Gilliam's most twisted ideas. For better or worse, the look of Tideland is as impressive as the story is disturbing and horrifying. And yet, Gilliam doesn't treat the horror as horror, there is a distinct sense of dreamlike fantasy, not light-hearted really, but Gilliam is not leaning into the horror that is very much present in this story and while some find that dichotomy compelling, I found it repellent. 

Every experience Terry Gilliam's pre-teen protagonist has, from watching both parents die, to the creepy mentally challenged 'boyfriend,' to the presence of the witch in her fantasies, are all played to such a low key whimsy that they barely register. You may watch in horror as scenes of degradation and dark humor play out, but you will also likely find your mind wandering as Gilliam underplays the horror of the scene in favor of  playing off a more goofball dispassionate response from this deeply troubled and traumatized young girl.

Terry Gilliam has demonstrated the genius of his myopic, selfish approach to film-making in movies as varied as 12 Monkeys, Brazil, and Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas. In Tideland however, he takes that weird personal vision to its navel-gazing nadir. This is a movie made by Terry Gilliam for Terry Gilliam and while I admire any filmmaker who doesn't bow to audience concerns about what the majority of people want to see, that doesn't make a movie like Tideland fun to watch.