Movie Review Simone

Simone (2002) 

Directed by Andrew Niccol 

Written by Andrew Niccol 

Starring Al Pacino, Catherine Keener, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Jay Mohr

Release Date August 23rd, 2002

Published August 26th, 2002 

The question of computer-generated actors is a very recent one. It began just last year, with the computer animated Final Fantasy, a colossal failure. It will soon be put to the test to bring Bruce Lee back from the dead. In the new Andrew Niccol satire Simone the topic is spun comedically though with an actual actress portraying the so-called synthespian.

Al Pacino is struggling director Viktor Taransky, whose last three pictures have bombed. His new film is to be his comeback until his temperamental leading lady (played by Winona Ryder) walks of the picture, leaving Viktor unable to complete the film. The head of the studio, who is also Viktor's ex wife, shelves his film and kicks him off the lot.

While packing up, Viktor is accosted by a mad scientist who claims he has solved Viktor's problem with overly temperamental actors. The scientist (Elias Koteas in a cameo) claims he has created an entirely CGI actress. Taransky doesn't believe him, but after the scientist dies and leaves Viktor the computer program, he discovers the scientist wasn't kidding and Simone is created. Viktor uses Simone to complete his film and she is a huge success. She quickly becomes a huge star but her fame grows out of control and soon Viktor begins too lose his grip on his creation.

A guarded secret during the film’s production was the identity of the actress laying the computer simulation, her name is Rachel Stevens and she is fantastic. Though one of the film’s drawbacks is she isn't called on to do very much. I spent most of the film wanting to see more of Simone.

The film has some biting satire of the nature of celebrity and Hollywood in general, however the film never really comes together. Director Andrew Niccol, the man wrote The Truman Show and directed the film Gattaca here combines element of both those films which give the film a strong base but no general direction. Director Niccol never really figures out what point he is trying to make.

Pacino for his part is game; he doesn't get enough credit for his sense of humor. Simone though doesn't have enough humor. What it does have is very funny but it's not enough for the film’s 2 hour plus runtime and by the end it completely runs out of steam. The ending is extremely unsatisfying and undoes a lot what the film had accomplished until then. It's not a bad film but best to wait till it's on the shelf at blockbuster. 

Movie Review: Are We There Yet?

Are We There Yet? (2005) 

Directed by Brian Levant

Written by David N. Weiss

Starring Ice Cube, Nia Long, Jay Mohr, Tracy Morgan

Release Date January 21st, 2005 

Published January 20th, 2005

Is Ice Cube attempting to shed his gangsta image in favor of being Martin Lawrence's understudy? It's a fair question when you see him choosing scripts like the one for Are We There Yet, clearly a role that  Martin Lawrence or even Cedric The Entertainer managed to turn down. Are We There Yet is brutally awful. An absolute utter mess of mean spirited physical humor and demonic child characters with a tacked on sappy and sentimental ending.

Honestly, this movie couldn't be worse if it had been inspired by a video game and directed by Uwe Boll.

Nick (Ice Cube) hates children. So bad luck for him when he falls in love at first sight with Suzanne (Nia Long), the mother of two small children. Nick's luck is worse than he knows because even before meeting him the two kids, Lindsey (Aleisha Allen) and Kevin (Philip Bolden), have it in for him. For Lindsey and Kevin no man is good enough for their mom, except their dad who has left the family.

Despite his hatred of children Nick really wants to get some, so of course when Suzanne needs someone to ferry her kids from her home in Oregon to Vancouver, Canada where she has to work on New Years Eve, Nick is the first to volunteer. At first they were supposed to fly in, but the kids set him up for Homeland security, putting the kibosh on the plane flight.

They try a train but once again the kids have it in for him. So they are left to drive in Nick's brand new Lincoln Navigator. No points for guessing what happens to this gorgeous vehicle thanks to these two evil children. Poor Nick is then subjected to every form of hack screen writer kind of human torture, from the classic kick in the groin to every form of gross-out humor imaginable.

The film attempts to establish a broad comic tone that might justify it's flights of gross-out humor and over the top elements like Nick's talking bobble head. However the film loses that attempt by tacking on scenes of import such as when the kids are forced to confront their no good father and find out he's never coming back. Such a weighty subject has no place in a film in which a child peeing on an innocent woman is a big comic moment.

And the film manages to get worse. For some reason beyond the comprehension of any right thinking movie watcher, Nick has a Satchell Page bobble head doll. If that is not indignity enough for the legendary Mr. Page, the doll talks to Nick in the voice of former SNL star Tracy Morgan. Why the four screen writers , who shall remain nameless, and hack Director Brian Levant, the auteur behind classics like Jingle All The Way and Snow Dogs, chose to denigrate Mr. Page in this way is anyone's guess. But why does Nick talk to the bobble head and it talk back, is the character supposed to be insane?

How does Director Brian Levant keep getting work? His films have managed to get worse every time he makes one. Jingle All The Way, Snow Dogs and now Are We There Yet are a triumvirate of films that on one resume should mean automatic dismissal. Instead he's already at work on another project. God help us if there is another bobble head or child in the vicinity.

Movie Review: The Adventures of Pluto Nash

The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002) 

Directed by Ron Underwood 

Written by Neil Cuthbert 

Starring Eddie Murphy, Rosario Dawson, Randy Quaid, Pam Grier, Jay Mohr, Peter Boyle 

Release Date August 16th, 2002 

Published August 16th, 2002 

There have been a lot of bad things said about The Adventures Of Pluto Nash, a lot of those things stemming from the films mega-budget and two-year shelf life. A lot of bad things continue to be said, but not by me.  While Pluto Nash isn't a great film it's not nearly as bad as many people say it is. Much like a ball rolling down a hill, the negative bias against Pluto Nash has obscured what is a desperately mediocre movie into a 'worst of all time' candidate. Don't believe the hype. 

Eddie Murphy is Pluto Nash, the most popular nightclub owner on the moon. Things couldn't be better, especially after he hires a gorgeous new waitress named Dina (Rosario Dawson). Things change quickly however after Pluto refuses to sell his club to a mobster named Crater. After the club is blown up, Pluto, Dina and Pluto's robot bodyguard Bruno (Randy Quaid) go on the run and eventually go after Crater. They are helped along the way by a great supporting cast including Pam Grier, Peter Boyle, Jay Mohr, and Luis Guzman.

It's good to see the old cocky, confident Eddie Murphy back even if he isn't at the top of his game. As Pluto Nash, Murphy is back as the conman always two steps ahead of everyone else. Here he’s far more appealing than his recent buffoonish turn in Showtime. For me, Murphy is always at his best when he's the Bugs Bunny-esque, quick on his feet, coolest guy in the room Eddie Murphy. Far too much in this period of Eddie's career he appears to have lost his confidence and with it, his appeal. Seeing Eddie get a little of his confidence back in Pluto Nash is perhaps adding a little shine to this otherwise worthless movie. 

Pluto Nash is a unique combination of 40's gangster movies with cheesy 50's sci-fi and it's those touches of classic genre that provide the film it's comic atmosphere. The more modern humor, such as having Hillary Clinton's face on the hundred-dollar bill, on the other hand, feels forced, desperate, and deeply unfunny. 

Many people, without even seeing this The Adventures of Pluto Nash, decided that it was a bad movie. Honestly, as someone who admires my fellow movie critics, I was one who was willing to buy into how historically terrible The Adventures of Pluto Nash was supposed to be. Then, I actually saw the movie. So the best review I could give The Adventures Of Pluto Nash is that, though it is bad, it's not historically, worst of all time bad.