Movie Review Safe Haven

Safe Haven (2013)

Directed by Lasse Hallstrom 

Written by Dana Stevens

Starring Julianne Hough, Josh Duhamel, Cobie Smulders, David Lyons

Release Date February 14th, 2013 

Published February 15th, 2013

I love "Safe Haven." I truly, love this Nicholas Sparks adapted romance starring Julianne Hough and Josh Duhamel. I just don't love it for the reasons that the filmmakers intended. "Safe Haven," directed by Oscar nominee Lasse Hallstom, has an ending that is so balls out goofy it turns an otherwise banal romantic thriller into one of the most gloriously cheeseball movies of all time.

A woman on the run

"Safe Haven" stars former "Dancing with the Stars" pro Julianne Hough as Katie, a woman on the run from a dangerous past. Flashbacks inform us that Katie may have murdered her abusive husband. We find Katie as she is boarding a bus that will eventually whisk her away to the idyllic paradise of Southport, North Carolina.

Southport is a town so small that no one bothers to do background checks or require a proof of ID before giving someone a job and renting them a home; what luck for a woman who may or may not be wanted for murder. Back in Katie's, not her real name mind you, home town in Boston a very determined and sweaty detective (David Lyons) is pulling out all the stops to track her down.

Of course there is a love story

Naturally, while Katie is trying to keep a low profile she will fall in love; this is a Nicholas Sparks adaptation after all. The love interest is Alex (Josh Duhamel), a widower with two adorable tots and an irresistible southern manner. He's smitten immediately but Katie needs a pushy neighbor named Jo (Cobie Smulders, "How I Met Your Mother") before she gives up her seclusion for romance.

For most of "Safe Haven" we are treated to boilerplate Nicholas Sparks romantic drama as Katie and Alex fall in love and Katie's past looms as the final act obstacle to their happily ever after. Then the final minutes of "Safe Haven" arrive and like a phoenix from the ashes of mediocrity "Safe Haven" arises to become an all time cornball classic; a true epic of cheesy badness.

No spoilers, I promise

I will not spoil the ending in this review because I want you to see it for yourself. I realize that this flies in the face of being a professional critic; recommending a bad movie, but I can't help myself; I love how bad this movie ends and I want to share it with you. The ending of "Safe Haven," for those who haven't read Sparks' novel, is joyous nonsense; a twist even M. Night Shyamalan would find contrived.

So wonderfully dumb is this ending that it took me nearly biting through my bottom lip to keep from bursting out in girlish giggles. Until the final 10 minutes, give or take a minute, I was ready to forget about "Safe Haven." Once the final credits began to roll however, I wanted to stand up and applaud and thank Lasse Hallstrom for the gift he's given to bad movie lovers everywhere.

"Safe Haven" is the first, and likely the only, must see bad movie of 2013.

Movie Review Spiderman Far From Home

Spider-Man Far from Home (2019) 

Directed by Jon Watts 

Written by Chris McKenna, Erik Sommers

Starring Tom Holland, Zendaya, Jake Gyllenhaal, Cobie Smulders, Samuel L Jackson, Marisa Tomei 

Release Date July 2nd, 2019 

Published July 1st, 2019 

Spider-Man Far From Home is a delight. This is just the kind of palette cleansing crowd-pleaser that the Marvel Cinematic Universe needed in the aftermath of Avengers Endgame. Far From Home is filled with fun and excitement and a renewed sense of wonder in a world jaded by so many superhero adventures. As much as I appreciate the weightiness of Endgame, it’s just nice to relax into a superhero movie without the oppressive number of heroes and world saving excesses. 

Spider-Man Far from Home picks up the story of Peter Parker/Spider-Man in the wake of The Snap and the miraculous return of those who had been snapped out of existence. Peter is back in school but 5 years have passed for him and most of his classmates as well who also suffered The Snap. No rest for the weary however as the school is sending Peter and his class to Europe to study for the summer. 

In a step toward renewed normalcy, Peter is back to pining for MJ (Zendaya) and he hopes that the trip to Europe will provide him the chance to tell her how he feels. Peter has an elaborate romantic plan in mind involving a gift he obtains for MJ in Italy that he plans on giving to her in Paris when the class visits the Eiffel Tower. Naturally, it won’t be that easy. Peter first has to overcome his own remarkable awkwardness around MJ. And, Peter has a new challenge from a fellow student who was one of the few not snapped out of existence. Brad (Remy Hii) was a five years younger afterthought before The Snap, and now Brad is a buff, handsome rival for MJ’s affections. 

Oh, and there is one more obstacle in Peter’s way. Nick Fury (Samuel L Jackson) has been trying to get in touch with Peter since before he left for Europe and he’s not a man who copes well with being ghosted. Fury is crashing Peter’s vacation from Spider-Man because he is tracking a global threat. Monsters called the Elementals are coming to Earth from some other dimension and with the Avengers in tatters, Fury needs Spider-Man to step up. 

There is one other hero on hand however and fans are calling him Mysterio (Jake Gyllenhaal). Mysterio’s real name is Quentin Beck and according to him, he comes from an alternate Earth where the Elementals rose up and destroyed the entire planet, including Beck’s wife. Beck narrowly escaped and now seeks revenge and hopes to keep the Elementals from destroying yet another multidimensional Earth. 

That Quentin Beck has ulterior motives is perhaps the worst kept secret in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Whether you are a comic book fan who knows where the character of Mysterio is headed or you are just someone with a keen eye for Roger Ebert’s theory of the Economy of Characters, it’s inevitable that we will arrive at a point where Mysterio and Spider-Man will be at odds. The key then becomes, how does the movie get there. 

If you were to pull threads on the plot of Spider-Man Far from Home you might unravel this premise in a less than satisfying fashion. I won’t go into spoilers but I will warn you against asking yourself why character A is performing action B when he knows that the outcome is C. The plot mechanics here are faulty at best and lazy at worst. And that is coming from someone who is writing a positive review of Spider-Man Far from Home. 

So, why do I recommend a movie that even I must admit is deeply flawed? First and foremost, I am a Spider-Man fan. Spider-Man is perhaps my favorite superhero dating back to the mindblowing Spiderman 2 with Tobey Maguire, a movie I feel is a legit masterwork of the superhero genre. I am also becoming a huge fan of Tom Holland who has a winning charisma and awkward charm that I find incredibly entertaining. Holland appears to have been born to play Spider-Man. 

I adore this cast and their wonderful comic chemistry. The teenagers in Far from Home are a super fun group with Zendaya bringing wit to MJ that has lacked in previous versions of this character and Jacob Batalon as Ned doing terrific work as Spider-Man’s wacky sidekick. Further down the cast list are the inspired duo of Martin Starr and J.B Smoove who play the teacher chaperones on the school trip. Too much of these characters would be irksome but director Jon Watts deploys them just enough in Far From Home. 

The action and effects of Spider-Man Far from Home are spectacular. The big action scenes have a scope and scale to them that splits the difference perfectly from the oppressive armageddon of Endgame and the lightness and adventure that made Tom Holland’s first turn as Spider-Man so much fun. Director Jon Watts pulled off a pretty great trick in closing out the first phase of Marvel movies with something fun that also has some weight to it to kick into the next phase. 

That weight comes from the stakes raised in the mid-credits scene of Far From Home. No spoilers but there is a big cameo here and he has some Earth shaking news for Peter Parker that throws his MCU arc for a loop. It’s an exceptionally smart choice for a cameo and a really effective set up for the next adventures in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. As many problems as I have with the narrative clumsiness of Far From Home, they absolutely nailed this mid-credit moment. 

Spider-Man Far From Home overcomes some serious plot issues by being so much fun that I did not care about the problems. Jake Gyllenhaal chews the scenery as Quentin Beck is Gyllenhaal at his most lively and exciting. His character is weird and offbeat but it works for Spider-Man. The chemistry between Gyllenhaal and Tom Holland is really enjoyable, they have a natural rapport that makes the issues of the movie so much less important. 

Don’t think too much about it and you will find Spider-Man Far from Home as entertaining as I did.