Movie Review Next

Next (2007) 

Directed by Lee Tamahori

Written by Gary Goldman, Jonathan Hensleigh

Starring Nicolas Cage, Jessica Biel, Julianne Moore, Peter Falk 

Release Date April 27th, 2007

Published April 26th, 2007 

Has any writer's work been more abused by Hollywood than Philip K. Dick's work? Sure Shakespeare has been tortured and Stephen King has condemned some of the adaptations of his work but Dick, it seems, has been truly beat up in the adaptation process. For every Minority Report there is a Paycheck. For every Blade Runner, which was tortured in many ways before emerging a cult classic, there is an Imposter.

Now comes Next; an adaptation of Dick's short story The Golden Man. Starring Nicolas Cage as a Vegas lounge magician, Next abuses Dick's sci fi conceits for yet another dull witted, wide appeal, sci fi knock-off.

Frank Cadillac (Nicolas Cage) is a C-list Vegas lounge act. Using his real life ability to see two minutes into the future, Frank, real name Chris Johnson, dazzles out of town rubes by predicting the unpredictable. Chris is attempting to hide the fact that he is clairvoyant by pretending to be clairvoyant, he's worried if someone finds out they may force him to use his gift for ill-gotten gain.

The FBI, led by Agent Callie Ferris (Julianne Moore), seems to have discovered Chris's secret. They want to capture him and use his gift to prevent a group of terrorists from exploding a nuclear weapon on the West Coast. How seeing two minutes into the future could be helpful is a question the film has an answer to but by the time it gets to it you will be rolling your eyes too much to catch it.

While Chris is using his gift to elude the FBI as well as the terrorist baddies, he finds his gift extending beyond just two minutes when he is with Liz (Jessica Biel), a beautiful stranger who Chris is convinced is his soul-mate. The two begin a tentative romance and together decide whether to help the cops or keep running away.

Next was directed by Lee Tamahori who may be best known for his non-directorial exploits. For those not in the know, the director of Die Another Day and XXX 2 was arrested in 2006 for solicitation. No he wasn't seeking a sex worker, he was the sex work, Tamahori was arrested in full drag. This has nothing to do with Next, it just makes me giggle as much as anything in the goofball action of Next.

The most notable thing about Next is Nicolas Cage's latest follicle debacle. The obviously balding Mr. Cage goes for long hair in Next and well, Nic.. long hair in back, balding in front, not a good look. Beyond the hair, Cage delivers a zombie-like, sleep walking performance ala his work in Family Man or National Treasure. Next isn't quite as bad as Cage's work in The Wicker Man but at least in that bad movie, Cage was awake and engaged.

Poor Julianne Moore. I hope she was paid well for her soul. The former Oscar nominee has made worse films than this, she is in Freedomland for god's sake, and yet she still seems to have too much dignity and class for such trash as Next.

Jessica Biel, on the other hand, is becoming right at home in this type of throwaway, popcorn trash. If you don't believe me, go rent Stealth. Yes, she was very good in last year's surprise hit The Illusionist but the rest of her resume is an ugly mixture of eye candy roles in straight to video features all of which seem to be a silent rebuke of her goody two shoes breakthrough on TV's Seventh Heaven.

One is left to wonder what happened to the family of Philip K. Dick. Do they have no control over what happens to Mr. Dick's work in Hollywood? Are they so greedy that they just don't care? Whatever the reason, it's sad how little care anyone has taken with his work. Philip K. Dick is the sci fi voice of a generation. A man who; seemingly saw the future himself and dramatized it. To watch his legacy trashed by one hack filmmaker after another is a real shame and Next is just the latest and likely not the last example.

Movie Review: The Punisher

The Punisher (2004) 

Directed by Jonathan Hensleigh 

Written by Jonathan Hensleigh 

Starring Thomas Jane, John Travolta, Rebecca Romijn 

Release Date: April 16th, 2004 

Published April 15th, 2004 

Previous to Avi Arad’s days as CEO, Marvel Comics made a number of bad deals involving the film rights to its comics. The Fantastic Four was sold to Roger Corman's production company (yes that Roger Corman). Do we want to remember those awful Captain America and Spiderman TV movies? Ugh. And who can forget 1989's The Punisher with Dolph Lundgren? Well most people have forgotten that, thankfully. Now The Punisher has a new life on film and the best that can be said is that it's better than the Dolph Lundgren version.

Thomas Jane is the new Frank Castle, a special forces trained FBI Agent who has just wrapped up his final case with his own faked death. Unfortunately, in a case where he hoped no one would be killed, a mobster’s son was taken down. The mobster, Howard Saint (John Travolta) is of course none too pleased with this and sets out to find the man responsible. With little effort he finds Castle is not really dead and sets out to kill him, and at his wife Livia's (Laura Elena Herring) suggestion, kill Castle's entire family as well.

Saint sends his top thug Quentin Glass (Will Patton) and a large goon squad to Puerto Rico where the entire Castle clan, cousins, and uncles, and grandparents, and so on and so on, all just happen to be gathered. The gang kills the entire family then chases down Frank's fleeing wife and child and brutally run them down. Then it's Frank's turn as he arrives just in time to see his wife and child die and then get the living crap kicked out of himself by the bad guys. In typical bad guy fashion, rather than just shooting Frank in the head the baddies plot an elaborate torture that Frank manages to escape. Well if they did the smart thing there would be no movie.

Castle does survive and soon is back in Tampa ready to make Howard Saint pay for killing his family. Along the way Frank hooks up with three oddballs who share a rundown tenement apartment building with him. They are Joan (Rebecca Romijn) a waitress with a taste for the wrong kind of man, Bumpo (comedian John Pinette) an effeminate overweight chef and Spacker Dave an overly pierced slacker. They try to draw Frank into their circle but other than protecting them from evil, Frank has little interest in them.

Frank's sole focus is an overly elaborate revenge on Howard Saint. If it weren't overly elaborate, again there would be no movie, but this is quite unnecessarily melodramatic and prolonged. The revenge involves Saint, his wife and Quentin Glass, a simple misunderstanding, and a fake fire hydrant. Where does one even acquire a fake fire hydrant? I'm not sure but it seems quite handy, unless there were an actual fire. It's all very melodramatic until the final 10 minutes when it devolves into a massive crunching bore of gunfire and the unnecessary use of way too much C4 explosive.

Director Jonathan Hensleigh obviously learned a lot from scripting Armageddon and producing Con Air for Jerry Bruckheimer. He learned how to use massive explosions to grand excess. He learned that you can never under-use gunfire and that a movie doesn't have to make sense as long as you kill, maim or explode someone every other scene. Not that this approach doesn't have it's moments but as every Bruckheimer movie shows, the formula grows tired quickly and so it does become quickly tiresome in The Punisher.

To the credit of Thomas Jane, The Punisher's belligerence is seemingly not his fault. Jane's performance is perfectly calibrated to the films dark, humorless tone. Jane's Punisher is brooding, tough, and without a trace of wit. Which seems to be exactly what the movie was going for if you watch all that surrounds his performance. Jane sells the character all the way even as he is forced to become less and less human and more of a horror film cartoon. Rambo crossed with Jason Vorhees.

John Travolta is wearing his Swordfish toupee which means he is in sneering bad guy autopilot. Nothing new for Travolta who grows more and more bored with each subsequent role these days. Hopefully his return to playing Chilli Palmer in Be Cool will revive his love of acting. In The Punisher Travolta gives up about half way through and figuratively rolls his eyes through the final 45 minutes of the film.

As bad as this movie truly is I must admit that I enjoyed some of it's over the top violence. The films major, one on one, fight scene between Tom Jane and pro wrestler Kevin Nash, the seven footer simply called The Russian in the film, brings the film’s only light moments as Jane marvels at the size of his opponent and his own numerous failed attempts to hurt the big man. It's kinda fun but it's been done, Stallone made beating up the bigger man a staple of his act back in the mid-eighties.

The film’s final violent set piece looks like an attempt to burn whatever remained of the film’s budget. I swear, it's as if they were told they had to spend a certain amount and nothing less so they just blew up whatever remaining cash they had in an orgy of explosions and gunfire.

At two hours and ten minutes, The Punisher is punishing on the audience. Repetitiously violent in between it's overly imaginative and melodramatic plots, The Punisher would be a candidate for worst of the year if Thomas Jane weren't such a pro at selling this big. dumb, loud plot. It's better than the Dolph Lundgren version of The Punisher, but staring at a blank screen for ninety minutes would be more entertaining than that picture. I would hope that the producers were aiming for more than bettering that film. Sadly that turns out to be the film’s only accomplishment.