Movie Review Kickin It Old Skool

Kickin' it Old Skool (2007)

Directed by Harvey Glazer

Written by Josh Siegel 

Starring Jamie Kennedy, Maria Menounos, Miguel Nunez, Vivica A Fox

Release Date April 27th, 2007

Published April 28th, 2007

Has any actor thrived more on less talent? I've asked this question every time I've seen Jamie Kennedy take the lead in another of his low budget unfunny comedies. Beginning with the offensively unfunny Malibu's Most Wanted to the dreadfully unwatchable Son of the Mask and now through his latest abomination called Kickin' It Old Skool a bizarre homage to or satire of 80's breakdance culture, I have watched in stunned disbelief as another film studio tossed more millions at this tremendously unfunny comic.

In Kickin' It Old Skool Jamie Kennedy stars as Justin, a breakdance aficionado who puts himself into a coma attempting a difficult breakdance move. 20 some years pass before Justin somehow comes out of his coma still feeling like that 12 year old kid who loved to spin on his head. With medical bills crushing his poor parents, Justin has to find a way to make some quick cash.

His lucky break comes when a trip to the mall reunites him with his former breakdancing pal Darnell (Miguel A. Nunez) who points him in the direction of a new dance contest TV show shooting at the mall. Thus Justin launches a plan to reunite his old breakdance pals, Darnell, Aki (Bobby Lee) and Hector (Aris Alvarado) and try to win the dance contest. Standing in his way is his old rival and the show's host Kip (Michael Rosenbaum). But he does find support from Kip's girlfriend Jennifer (Maria Menounos) who was Justin's childhood crush.

Kickin' It Old Skool runs on two comic tracks. On the one track is an homage to cheeseball 80's culture including a truly lame cameo from David Hasselhoff. On the other is an attempt to parody recent dance off movies like Stomp The Yard and You Got Served. Unfortunately, director Harvey Glazer lacks the talent to combine these elements into one comic focus.

It doesn't help that his star Jamie Kennedy is utterly talentless. Yes, I admit admiring his know it all performance in Scream but name another thing that Jamie Kennedy has done that he can be proud of? Hmm.....The Mask 2?

Kickin 'It Old Skool suffers from  the same comic misapprehension as so many comedies of 2007. Movies like Hot Rod and Balls of Fury and Kickin 'It Old Skool all seem to believe that if the main character does something out of the norm; that thing is automatically funny. Context be damned. In Hot Rod it's supposed to be funny that this guy is a small town stunt man. In Balls of Fury the main character plays ping pong. In Kickin' It Old Skool Jamie Kennedy and his pals breakdance.

The creators of these films simply assume we will laugh at the premise and never bother to actually write funny jokes or give the characters anything funny to do aside from falling down or listening to music more than 20 years old. If you think old school rap is hysterically funny just for existing, then Kickin' It Old Skool is the movie for you.

I would rather watch a Rob Schneider film festival than sit through one Jamie Kennedy movie. From Malibu's Most Wanted to Son of the Mask and now Kickin' It Old Skool, Kennedy continues to demonstrate a complete lack of comic chops. On the bright side, audiences are beginning to agree as his starring roles continue to do less and less at the box office. Let's keep up the good work folks. The less people who see Kickin' It Old Skool, the less chance he'll get another starring role. If we continue to work together we can end this plague. Thank you.

Movie Review Kill Bill Volume 1

Kill Bill Volume 1 (2003) 

Directed by Quentin Tarentino 

Written by Quentin Tarentino 

Starring Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Daryl Hannah, Vivica A Fox, Michael Madsen

Release Date October 10th, 2003 

Published October 9th, 2003 

It's been six years since Quentin Tarentino last graced the big screen with his considerable directorial presence. In his time away, his existence was pondered in ways only J.D. Salinger could relate too. What was the preeminent auteur of his generation up to all that time? His name was attached to every film that even vaguely resembled his style and, for a time, that seemed his only context. Then finally after a number of delays, Tarentino went into a production that would be the most analyzed, textualized, and criticized film since Kubrick's 2001. How could any film live up to this kind of hype?

Kill Bill stars Uma Thurman as an assassin who survives an attempted assassination by her former friends and employer. The employer is Bill, and her former friends are a group called the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. There is O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu) --codename Cottonmouth--Elle Driver (Daryl Hannah) --codename: California Mountain Snake--Bud (Michael Madsen) --codename: Sidewinder--and Vernita Green (Vivica A. Fox) --codename: Copperhead. Our heroine's own codename had been Black Mamba, but we only know her as the bride.

The reason why the bride was targeted by her friends is unclear; what we do know is that she survived a serious beating and a bullet in the head before awakening from a four-year coma. Once awakened from that coma, she is ready to seek her bloody vengeance on the friends and former employer who not only tried to kill her but also murdered her wedding party and her unborn child.

Kill Bill has been called the most violent film in history. I doubt that such hyperbole is justified but the film is very violent. Beheadings, de-limbings, and buckets of blood drop all over the screen as Tarentino choreographs his violence to match the ultra-violent Hong Kong martial arts pictures that inspired him. This is no mere homage; however, Kill Bill is HK cinema raised to an artistic level that the original HK masters could never achieve on their miniscule budgets.

Often, I criticize films for their lack of plot and characterizations, but in the case of Kill Bill all that is missing is forgiven. Kill Bill is one of those films that is not about character and story but rather an exercise in pure style. Where some films are showcases for actors to show off the craft of acting, Kill Bill is the rare occasion where a director showcases his ability to direct. Kill Bill is Quentin Tarentino's film symphony, with actors as his orchestra acting at the wave of his baton.

With help from Hong Kong martial arts master Yuen Wo Ping, Tarentino coordinates one of the bloodiest and most enthralling fight scenes ever. First, though, The Bride travels to Okinawa where she acquires a sword from a master sword maker Hattori Hanzo played by HK legend Sonny Chiba. The sword says Hanzo could slice God. Then it's onto Tokyo and the films centerpiece battle where The Bride battles O-Ren and her henchmen the Crazy 88. In an expertly choreographed and stylishly over the top sequence, The Bride maims and kills the 88 and then claims their severed limbs as a trophy. Then it's on to her revenge against Ishii, another well-choreographed and especially well acted sequence by Thurman and Lucy Lui.

My sister gave me a CD called The Roots of Hip Hop and on it are some of the most sampled songs in history. As fans of hip hop know, a great piece of sampling can become an artwork all its own and much like great hip hop, Quentin Tarentino turns his sampling from HK martial arts movies, spaghetti westerns and Japanese anime (the film’s best chapter, O-Ren Ishii's bloody back story is told in an exquisite piece of anime) into a work of art that can stand alone as a work of art.

Admittedly I would rather see the film in its full three-hour length instead of its current chopped-in-the-middle-release, but, nevertheless, I was satisfied with seeing half now and half in February. If the second half lives up to the promise of the first half, then even the angriest detractor will be satisfied with the latest Tarentino master work.