Classic Movie Review Jaws 2

Jaws 2 (1978) 

Directed by Jeannot Szwarc 

Written by Carl Gottlieb, Howard Sackler

Starring Roy Scheider, Lorraine Gary, Keith Gordon, Murray Hamilton 

Release Date June 16th, 1978

Published August 9th, 2023 

If there is ONE movie in the long history of movies that does not need a sequel, it's Jaws. Jaws, as crafted by Steven Spielberg, is a perfect movie. That doesn't mean it's the greatest movie of all time or even my favorite movie. When I say Jaws is a perfect movie, I merely stating that as the story is told and the film is executed, it's perfectly crafted in and of itself. Jaws, as it is, cannot be improved upon and requires no expansion upon its story. The characters, action, and ending, all play out in the best possible fashion for this movie. Jaws, as it plays, doesn't need to be expanded upon nor does it lend itself to being expanded upon. 

Thus, the only reason anyone would be ridiculous enough to make a sequel to Jaws is money. It's a purely mercenary effort to separate audiences from their money. There can be no art, no pure joy of creation to this endeavor, it's only about using something powerful as a brickbat with which to beat money out of audiences. Jaws is a money pinata and greedy Hollywood executives wanted their candy by any means necessary. That means that if they needed to force actor Roy Scheider to star in the sequel by holding him hostage to his contract, they would do it. And they did do that, Scheider didn't want to be in this movie. 

If it meant backing up a brinks truck to try and get Steven Spielberg and Richard Dreyfuss back, they would do it. It's a sign of great integrity that both Spielberg and Dreyfuss refused big money deals to compromise their integrity. Studio executives likely tried to drag up the corpse of Robert Shaw's Quint but thankfully stopped short of that. But would you be surprised that the idea was floated? It would not surprise me if that happened. Anything remotely familiar was going to be exploited for the chance of wacking that Jaws pinata. For instance, one person who did compromise his integrity is composer John Williams who did return and provided one of his most forgettable pieces of work for Jaws 2. 

So, why am I ranting about Jaws 2? The movie isn't exactly timely or relevant. Well, Jaws 2 was the classic on our latest episode of the Everyone's a Critic Movie Review Podcast. We paired Jaws 2 with The Meg 2: The Trench and what we found is that both of these movies stink out loud. Both The Meg 2 and Jaws 2 are miserable, overlong slogs that fail to remotely capture what made the first film something worth watching. The Meg, of course, doesn't compare with the genius of Jaws, it's merely the first of two Meg movies. But, The Meg is certainly better than its sequel and that's where the sequel relates to Jaws 2, which is a vastly inferior film to its original. 

Read my full length review at Horror.Media 

Classic Movie Review Halloween (1978)

Halloween (1978) 

Directed by John Carpenter 

Written by John Carpenter, Debra Hill 

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald Pleasance 

Release Date October 25th, 1978 

Halloween Franchise 

Is it possible that horror fans just like the musical score for Halloween 1978 and tolerate the movie that goes with it? I realize that this is a great offense to fans of the Halloween franchise but I just don't get the appeal of John Carpenter's original Halloween. The film is remarkably dull by the standards of the great horror movies I have seen in my now more than 20 years as a film critic. Halloween is outright boring aside from that remarkable score which is incredible at creating the tension that the characters and the slack scenes fail to establish. 

Halloween 1978 centers on Michael Myers who, as a child, murdered his sister in cold blood. Taken into a mental institution, Michael was locked away until the age of 21 under the treatment of Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance). In treating Michael, Dr. Loomis has come to see his patient as the closest thing to pure evil he's ever witnessed. Dr. Loomis has dedicated his career to making sure Michael Myers never gets out of custody. Unfortunately, on the night that Loomis is set to take Michael to an even more secure facility for rest of his natural life, Loomis finds that Michael has escaped. 

Driven by an unspecified motivation, Michael returns to Haddonfield, Illinois, his childhood hometown. There he sets his sights on several people he wants to kill. Among the likely victims is Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), a teenager with plans to babysit on this Halloween night. Halloween is when Michael killed his sister and it is this night that he hopes to return to killing. Another potential victim that catches Michael's eye is young Tommy Doyle (Brian Andrews), who happens to be the child that Laurie will be babysitting that night. 

It's quite a coincidence that Michael follows first Laurie and then Tommy as he would have no idea that Laurie is Tommy's babysitter but we are supposed to forget about such things. We are also supposed to not care that someone must have taken the time to teach the most dangerous inmate in a mental institution how to drive a car with such care that he can stealthily follow not one but two different, seemingly unrelated children. Halloween fans want us to pretend these inconsistencies don't exist but the movie does little to hide its own flaws. 

The other thing we are asked to ignore is how silly Michael Myers looks each time we see him. My favorite is a moment where Michael is stalking Laurie as she walks home from school. Laurie looks over her shoulder and sees Michael's hulking masked figure standing still and staring at her. She turns away and he's gone. Laurie's friend goes to see who might be messing with her friend and when she arrives at the hedgerow that Michael would seem to be hiding behind, he's gone. The clear indication here, aside from unspecified supernatural powers, is that Michael Myers, the cheeky prankster that he is, appeared in front of Laurie and then quickly ran away so as not to be caught. 

The mental image of a hulking mental patient in a Halloween mask running to hide from a pair of teenagers is hilarious. But then, ask yourself this, why? Why is Michael toying with Laurie? What does a mental patient get out of hiding in the hedges or hiding in Laurie's backyard or appearing to her outside her school? What does this have to do with anything Michael Myers has planned? I'm told that his lack of motivation is part of what makes Michael Myers so scary but then why is the rest of the franchise so dedicated to giving Michael a motivation? 

Halloween fans have hand-waved all of these weird inconsistencies for years. Things like why Michael stole his sister's headstone from her grave only to set it up in a random house where he has elaborately stored several of the bodies of various victims unrelated to his original murder? Nowhere during the original Halloween is it mentioned that Laurie and Michael are secret siblings, that's a retcon from Halloween 2. The fact that we ever found out that Laurie is Michael's sister reveals the cynicism of this franchise continuing beyond the ragingly mediocre original. 

The film was successful and marketers, seeing success, capitalized with a sequel. Fans of the aesthetic of Michael Myers, and John Carpenter's first rate score then dedicated themselves to lore building for the franchise to justify their enjoyment of such a nakedly commercial franchise. It's the calculated, capitalistic cynicism that bothers me about Halloween. John Carpenter made one of his most mediocre movies in 1978 and was roped to that movie by its unlikely success. 

Find my full length review of Halloween 1978 at Horror.Media

Movie Review: The Boys from Brazil

The Boys from Brazil (1978) 

Directed by Franklin J. Schaffner

Written by Heywood Gould

Starring Gregory Peck, Sir Laurence Olivier, Steve Guttenberg

Release Date October 4th, 1978 

Published December 2nd, 2002 

Recently I discovered my new favorite cable channel is The History Channel. For some reason I find myself fascinated by bible history, mysteries of the unknown and the History channels specialty; World War 2. There doesn't seem to be any angle of WW2 that the History Channel hasn't covered, even movies about World War 2. A recent special detailed the numerous films with links to WW2 and one caught my eye, a strange 1978 teaming of acting legends Gregory Peck and Laurence Olivier called The Boys From Brazil.

Mixing a strange bit of actual history with the limitless potential of genetic science and a whole lot of lame melodrama and you have one odd, unbelievable film.

It is an actual historic fact that the legendary monster Dr. Joseph Mengele, one of the authors of Hitler’s Final Solution, escaped Germany some time before the end of the war. Mengele was captured in South America years later by a pair Nazi hunters. The Boys From Brazil imagines Mengele (Gregory Peck) living well in South America and teaming with a small group of Nazi officers who, like Mengele, escaped Germany before the end of the war. For this group of Nazis the war is not over and Mengele has a rather far out plan that needs to be put into place immediately in order to work. The plan is an elaborate experiment that began before Hitler's death and continued with Mengele while living in exile in Paraguay. The details of the plan are uncovered by an eager young Jewish “Nazi hunter” played by Steve Guttenberg. 

Yes, THAT Steve Guttenberg.

The young Nazi hunter is murdered for spying on this historic meeting but not before he relays a good portion of the plan to the world’s leading Nazi hunter, Ezra Lieberman (Laurence Olivier). The plan calls for the assassinations of 94 seemingly random men all age 65 and all civil servants. Lieberman is at first highly skeptical of the story but after learning of some unusual deaths of men across the world fitting similar circumstances, Lieberman begins looking for a pattern and finds it in the men's children.

History tells us that Hitler wasn't just psychotic, he was nuts too. He and Mengele conducted horrible experiments on both Jews and non-Jews, including genetic testing and attempts at cloning. There is documented proof that Hitler looked into the potential of cloning himself and that he had Mengele take samples of his DNA for such purposes. The Boys From Brazil imagines that these experiments were successful. All of which leads to a dramatic confrontation between the evil doctor and the Nazi hunter in a farmhouse in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. 

No I'm not kidding!

The film is brazen in its ridiculous premise and awful scripting. One could even say that any dramatizing of Mengele especially one so broad and weird as this portrayal is highly offensive and tarnishes the memory of the people Mengele tortured. The film is so poorly staged and it's shocking revelations so stupid your left wondering how a film like this could ever get made.

Even more puzzling is how two amazing actors like Peck and Sir Laurence Olivier could look at a script so ridiculous and actually see something worth filming. Olivier actually does a scene opposite Steve Guttenberg, the man who made Lawrence of Arabia playing opposite the guy from Police Academy!

Maybe Peck and Olivier thought they were making a comedy. That might explain there loud over-the-top performances that were so hammy they would make Jeremy Irons blush. The Boys From Brazil is a movie only Mystery Science Theater could appreciate. It’s laughably over the top, poorly staged and ridiculously scripted. And to think, I could have been watching The History Channel.