Movie Review: Deuce Bigelow European Gigolo

Deuce Bigelow European Gigolo (2005) 

Directed by Mike Bigelow 

Written by Harris Goldberg, Rob Schneider

Starring Rob Schneider, Eddie Griffin 

Release Date August 12th, 2005

Published August 15th, 2005 

It's good to have friends in Hollywood. Look at Rob Schneider.  This talentless ex-SNL star has managed to land lead roles in mainstream Hollywood comedies thanks almost entirely to his close friend Adam Sandler. It was Mr. Sandler's clout that helped launch Schneider's first ode to bad taste Deuce Bigelow: Male Gigolo and then The Hot Chick, both films also featuring Sandler in cameos. Now with the release of Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo, Mr. Sandler has once again somehow duped another major Hollywood studio into bankrolling his buddie's career.

Deuce Bigelow (Schneider) was once a mild mannered aquarium cleaner with dreams of being a marine biologist. However, after an encounter with a gigolo (Oded Fehr of The Mummy series slumming outside the action genre), Deuce met T.J (Eddie Griffin) a pimp who convinced Deuce to become, in his terminology, a man-whore. From there the film wallowed in low humor and earnest sentimentalism before shuffling off to DVD with way more box office revenue than it deserved.

With the sequel Deuce has given up the gigolo life to once again work the aquarium biz, however after a bizarre encounter at the beach Deuce accepts an invitation from T.J to go to Amsterdam where the latter has become an even more successful pimp. Naturally the permissive atmosphere of Amsterdam is quite conducive to T.J's lifestyle, prostitution not only being legal but apparently a respected trade.

Unfortunately someone has taken to murdering T.J's stable of man-whores and T.J himself has become a suspect. Only Deuce can prove T.J's innocence, but to do so he must once again become a gigolo. Along the way he meets Eva (Hanna Verboom) and wouldn't you know it, she has a weird connection to the crimes at the center of the plot. Well I don't know if plot is the right word, this movie stretches the idea of a movie 'plot' to a breaking point. 

If I may make an odd comparison, Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo reminded me, in its sort of nihilistic approach to bad taste, to Rob Zombie's horror flick The Devil's Rejects. Both films are pointless and inane in ways that leave the viewer more indifferent than offended or sickly entertained. Both films play as filmed masturbation: kinky, desperate expressions of the creators' id. Both Rob Zombie and Rob Schneider seem as if they really enjoy their films with very little regard to whether anyone else would enjoy them.

Trashing Deuce Bigelow for its incoherence, its crudity or its ineptitude would be too easy.  Those failings are a given when one buys the ticket. A critic could write that review without having watched the film as far as I'm concerned. I'm left with my own fascination as to who is supposed to enjoy Deuce Bigelow and why. What type of twisted sense of humor do you have to possess to find a laugh in such desperate inanity? 

There is a kind of trainwreck fascination to the film that I can understand but I think that would be giving Rob Schneider's core of fans way too much credit. For some reason there are people who find this brand of comedy funny and for the life of me, I cannot understand it. 

Movie Review Norbit

Norbit (2007) 

Directed by Brian Robbins

Written by Eddie Murphy, Charlie Murphy

Starring Eddie Murphy, Thandie Newton, Cuba Gooding Jr., Eddie Griffin, Marlon Wayans, Charlie Murphy 

Release Date February 9th, 2007 

Published February 9th, 2007 

The last thing Eddie Murphy needs with Oscar ballots still uncounted is a movie like Norbit. Unfortunately, Norbit is out there and TV commercials are exposing Eddie at his most commercially bankrupt. Will Norbit cast Eddie an Oscar? It's possible. Norbit is an example of Murphy at his most bankrupt, displaying his declining comic talent for the world to see, at a time when Hollywood is close to honoring him for the best dramatic work of his career.

Oscar voters aren't likely to see Norbit, which might lessen the impact, but just the sight of his giant fat suited character on TV could be enough for a few voters to turn their attention to actors with a tad more talent and integrity. 

Norbit (Eddie Murphy) was abandoned as a baby, thrown from a moving car at the doorstep of an orphanage/Chinese restaurant. There, Mr. Wong (Also Eddie Murphy) took young Norbit in and raised him as his own. Growing up in the orphanage, Norbit fell for a fellow orphan named Kate until she was adopted. With Kate gone, Norbit fell under the spell of Rasputia (Eddie, again) a giantess who protected him from bullies and years later forced him to marry her.

Trapped in an awful marriage to an awful woman, Norbit wants a way out. This is when Kate (Thandie Newton) returns and Norbit see's a different path for his life. Unfortunately, Kate has brought her fiance Deion (Cuba Gooding Jr.) with her. Can Norbit escape Rasputia and win Kate away from the scheming, jerky, Deion? These are the strands that stand in as a plot for Norbit.

Directed by Bryan Robbins, the auteur behind The Shaggy Dog and Ready To Rumble, Norbit is a terribly unfunny series of sitcomic sketches whose sole purpose is placing their star in a different funny outfit. The makeup on Eddie Murphy, done as it was in The Nutty Professor by effects master Rick Baker, is damn impressive but not nearly impressive enough to warrant a movie that is basically dedicated to the talent of the makeup department.

Norbit is pretty bad but not entirely laugh free. Comics Eddie Griffin and Katt Williams have small roles as pimps, Pope Sweet Jesus and Lord Have Mercy. The roles are awful stereotypes but Griffin and Williams are too talented not to deliver a couple of good laughs. In a scene near the end of Norbit, the two riff on love and steal the show for a few minutes.

Also kinda funny is Murphy's awful chinese caricature Mr. Wong. Murphy gives Mr. Wong all of the best and most shocking lines in the film and the racist banter and love of whaling are just wild enough to earn what few laughs are offered in Norbit.

As for Rasputia, Murphy's giant drag cliche, the character is a force of nature but there isn't anything there beyond the fat jokes. Unlike Tyler Perry's Madea who combines the bizarre look of a man in drag with a character that has its own level of odd integrity, Rasputia is just a walking stereotypical punchline. That Murphy infuses Rasputia with unending self confidence keeps the jokes from becoming meanspirited but the real problem is not political correctness or hurt feelings but rather that none of the jokes are funny.

Toss Norbit on the pile next to Daddy Day Care, Metro and Holy Man, yet another step in the decline of the comic talent of Eddie Murphy. Eddie's concert video Delirious hit DVD recently and is a hilarious example of how talented and gut bustingly funny Eddie Murphy once was. Why his skills have declined so badly is a mystery.

Like Adam Sandler impressing so many critics in Punch Drunk Love, Eddie Murphy's turn in Dreamgirls now looks like a flash in the pan, a moment of brilliance in a sea of declining talent. What a shame.

Movie Review Scary Movie 3

Scary Movie 3 (2003) 

Directed by David Zucker 

Written by Craig Mazin, Pat Proft 

Starring Anna Faris, Anthony Anderson, Kevin Hart, Leslie Nielsen, Simon Rex, Eddie Griffin 

Release Date October 24th, 2003 

Published October 23rd, 2003 

Scream was a film that changed the rules of modern horror forever by turning its conventions in on itself. Scary Movie had a timely “of the moment” quality even if the idea of parodying a film that was a parody in some respects itself was a little out there. Scary Movie succeeded, piling satire on top of pop culture scatology and earned its place amongst the best of modern madcap comedies. The sequel however could not match the energy of the original and most importantly its humor.

Now with a third sequel, Scary Movie has come to mirror the trilogy that inspired it. Scream 3 had none of the originality and creative energy of the first Scream and Scary Movie 3 is merely a pale imitation of its progenitor. The Zucker Brothers, the team behind the Airplane and Naked Gun films, take the creative reins from the Wayans Brothers. Even so, Scary Movie 3 is a limp parody of recent blockbusters ranging from The Matrix to The Others to M. Night Shyamalan's Signs and Eminem's 8 Mile. The modest 2002 horror hit The Ring provides the basis for much of the film’s satire.

Anna Faris returns as the series heroine Cindy Campbell, now working as a reporter ala Naomi Watts' character in The Ring. Cindy stumbles on two big news stories that may be connected, a videotape that promises death and crop circles in a small-town cornfield owned by Tom (Charlie Sheen in a parody of Mel Gibson's fallen priest in Signs). Simon Rex is George, Tom's younger brother and wannabe rapper a la Eminem in8 Mile. George is also Cindy's love interest in the film

None of the plot matters, of course, it's merely a jumping off point for movie parodies that reminded me of Weird Al Yankovic's song parodies. The film takes the plot of Signs or The Ring, recreates the scenes and simply changes the dialogue from melodrama to comedy. It's the same formula that worked so well in the original Scary Movie. However, the original smartly kept its focus on parodying one film at a time, Scary Movie 3 attempts to parody several different films all at once, at times more than one film in the same scene. The lack of focus forces the script to do a lot of explaining and re-explaining of what is being parodied. All of the exposition necessary to give context to the next gag is tiresome to say the least.

The film’s trailer is somewhat misleading. The trailer promises a Matrix parody with Queen Latifah and Eddie Griffin. In reality there is a bit of Matrix parody but Latifah and Griffin have more screen time in the trailer than in the actual film. I won't spoil the surprise of what actor plays the role of the Architect in another Matrix riff but it's one of the film’s few bright spots.

The film’s weak spots are numerous but especially glaring are its weak attempts at racial humor. The scenes that parody 8 Mile are completely off the mark and Simon Rex is especially overmatched attempting to send up Eminem who's verbal virtuosity is ten times funnier than any of the weak satire of Scary Movie 3. 

How do you send-up a character who himself is a brilliant parodist? You have to be able to top him and the Zucker Brothers never come close to any satire that Eminem hasn't already done himself and funnier. The Zucker's clearly lack the Wayans's sharp eye for racial humor. While watching the 8 Mile send-ups, you’re left to wonder how the Wayans Boys would have handled the same material and you know it would be far funnier.

The only thing Scary Movie 3 has going for it is Anna Faris who once again shows an astounding comedic ability to rise above even the most revolting indignities. Her Cindy Campbell has been beaten to heck in each of the three films and still Faris manages to shine. Faris takes on all of the lowest forms of humor with chipper aplomb and winks at the audience the whole way. She is the only element of Scary Movie 3 that works.

The Zucker Brothers with writing partner Jim Abrahams invented the parody genre. With Scary Movie 3 they may have effectively ended it from a creative standpoint. It's clear they have lost their deftness and comic touch in favor of half-assed, inane scatology. From a commercial standpoint unfortunately, the genre will likely have another life, it is clear this film will be a hit despite its innumerable flaws.

Movie Review Redline

Redline (2007) 

Directed by Andy Cheng

Written by Robert Forman 

Starring Tim Matheson, Eddie Griffin, Angus MacFadyen

Release Date April 13th, 2007 

Published April 14th, 2007 

I've never heard of Chicago Pictures before but based on the company's first feature, the misogynist racing picture Redline, this is likely some fly by night outfit unsatisfied with fate as a direct to video product purveyor. Redline is an ugly, low budget Z-movie that only Roger Corman could love. Babes in bikinis are one thing but when the female lead is cast only for the look of her bust in various tight tops you know you are not dealing with a high class outfit.

How can a film so blindingly inept as Redline actually get released to theaters? It is a complete mystery. I have seen films made by teenagers on a budget no bigger than a six pack of Mountain Dew make a better movie on a cellphone camera than Redline. To be fair, the kid with the cellphone did have the advantage of a far better script.

Ostensibly the story of gangsters and an illegal off road classic car race, Redline is a z-movie take on Fast and the Furious without artistic integrity. A guy just back from the army accepts an invitation from his gangster uncle to participate in this illegal race only after his beloved cousin is killed in the course of a race.

Our army man is determined to find the people responsible for his cousins death and in the process finds a love interest in the form of a sexy car mechanic who gets roped into the race by a shady gambler (Eddie Griffin) and is then lost by the gambler as part of a bet on the race. Not knowing that she was the subject of a wager, our mechanic friend is not exactly a good sport about all of this.

The climax is an inevitable damsel in distress rescue with guns and explosions and no doubt a big smooch at the end for our heroes. I have no idea what actually happened at the end of Redline because I walked out. Yes, I know, that is not very professional of me. In my defense; you haven't seen how truly excremental Redline is.

There is only so much misogyny that I can put up with and Redline simply crosses the line. In the background of nearly every scene of Redline are women dancing in cages, women running around in bikinis or, directly in front of the camera is the female lead of the film in a too small tank top pointing her breasts toward the screen.

Now, as a man I won't deny enjoying looking at beautiful women in various states of undress. However, if I want to objectify women, I'll do it in the privacy of my own home. Redline is so disgustingly misogynist, so leeringly creepy, that it really feels like porn even though there is no nudity. Oh yeah! no nudity and yet Redline manages to feel dirtier than most of the softcore garbage on Cinemax late at night.

Mostly, it's the perverse attitude of the film. The fact that there is no strong female presence that isn't somehow an objectified piece of meat. The fact that every frame is filled with the cast offs of Girls Gone Wild. I realize that Redline is all in good fun and that the women in the movie take part of their own volition but I failed to see the point of it all.

Making things worse is the utter ineptitude of the making of Redline. From the awful, grubby cinematography of Bill Butler to the slipshod editing of Dallas Puett to director Andy Cheng's stunningly incompetent direction. It's fair to say I was almost as offended by the sheer awfulness of Redline as I was by its attitudes.

Blindingly awful, Redline is an example of the kind of film that for a long time didn't make it to theaters. This trash used to go directly to video stores. Now, more and more, movies of this ilk are ending up at the multiplex and it is an absolute mystery to me. A movie like Redline may not have cost anything to be made but how much money could this garbage have made in the week it was in theaters? Enough to pay for the film that was wasted on it?

I doubt it.

Movie Review: Undercover Brother

Undercover Brother (2002) 

Directed by Malcolm D. Lee 

Written by John Ridley 

Starring Eddie Griffin, Denise Richards, Dave Chappelle, Aunjanue Ellis, Gary Anthony Williams, Neil Patrick Harris, Billy Dee Williams

Release Date May 31st 2002 

Published May 30th, 2002

Eddie Griffin is a fantastic standup comedian, with what may be the best Michael Jackson impression on the planet. As an actor however Griffin has yet to find himself. Griffin's acting resume includes 2001's worst film Double Take and worst film candidate 2002 The New Guy. Now with his new film Undercover Brother, Griffin has found himself in what may be the funniest movie of the year.

Griffin is the titular Undercover Brother, a 70's throwback to the era of Blaxploitation who takes it upon himself to steal from the rich and give to the poor inner city black folks. As one character puts it he's a "Soul Train reject with a Robin Hood complex". After breaking into a bank and destroying the mortgages of poor people who couldn't afford to pay, UC is recruited by the Brotherhood. The Brotherhood is an underground organization dedicated to the protection of black culture from the evil ministrations of "The Man". 

It's headed up by the Chief (Chi McBride), and his top agents, Sistah Girl (smokin hot Aunjenue Ellis) and Conspiracy Brother (comedy's secret weapon Dave Chappelle). Also on the team are the computer expert Smart Brother (Gary Anthony Williams) and white boy intern Lance (Doogie Howser's Neil Patrick Harris), affirmative action hire. Undercover Brother teams with the Brotherhood to save a black presidential candidate played by Billy Dee Williams who has fallen under the control of the Man and now instead of running for office, he plans to open a chain of Fried Chicken Restaurant's complete with grits, greens and a complimentary 40 ounce malt liquor.

That's just a sample of Director Malcolm Lee and writer John Ridley's satire of African American stereotypes, they have far more satiric jabs for white people including swipes at white people's love of the show Friends and their peculiar love of mayonnaise. One of the best satirical moments is the send up of the black man's weakness for white women as Undercover Brother is seduced by the evil White She Devil (Denise Richards).

Chris Kattan rounds out the cast as The Man's evil henchman Mr. Feathers, and the film does the seemingly impossible, it's makes both Kattan and Eddie Griffin funny! Undercover Brother's showdown with Mr. Feathers toward the end of the film, set to Michael Jackson's Beat It, is absolutely hysterical, making use of Griffin's years of dance training and Kattan's completely inept attempt at dancing.

While the film cribs heavily from Austin Powers; hysterically out-of-date hero and over-the-top gags, if your going to steal you might as well steal from a good movie. The film also owes a great deal to other satirical looks at race relations and Afro American culture, from the films of Spike Lee to Eriq Lasalle's little seen Gem The Drop Squad and the Wayans brothers brilliant Blaxploitation send up I'm Gonna Git You Sucka. Spike Lee, by the way, is Director Malcolm Lee's cousin, and while Malcolm doesn't have Spike's social conscience he has his sense of humor and it is well tuned in Undercover Brother.

For the first time in a long time we get a comedy that is actually FUNNY. I can barely remember the last Hollywood film that was as consistently funny as Undercover Brother. It’s all due to the confident lead performance of Eddie Griffin, the smoking hot performances of Richards and Ellis, and the well-played satire of Director Lee and Writer John Ridley, on whose web cartoon the film is based. Undercover Brother is an early candidate for the Best Comedy of 2002. And with the comedies Hollywood usually makes you might pencil it in as the winner now.