Classic Movie Review Time Bandits

Time Bandits (1993)

Directed by Terry Gilliam

Written by Terry Gilliam, Michael Palin 

Starring John Cleese, Sean Connery, Shelley Duvall, Ian Holm, Craig Warnock 

Release Date July 2nd, 1981 

Published November 28th, 2023 

A young boy is lying in bed, fighting off sleep, but seemingly losing the fight. All of a sudden, a horse with a man in armor bursts out of his cupboard and leaps over his bed before riding off into the distance of his bedroom wall which has somehow become an ancient meadow. You naturally might assume that this is a dream sequence, a short nightmare perhaps. But director Terry Gilliam is toying with you. He has the parents come to the child's room immediately following the nightmare and, though the boy's room is suddenly back in order, the parents claimed he was making quite a lot of noise. They tell him to knock it off and go to bed. 

The following day, our hero, Kevin (Craig Warnock) is desperately eager to get back to bed. He's ready with a flashlight and a polaroid camera at hand in case the armored horseman returns. The Knight does not return but Kevin's bedroom is once again magically transformed. This time, a group of 6 little people carrying a magical map invade Kevin's bedroom and begin to wreak havoc. These six men are on the run from a God-like entity from whom, they have stolen a magical map of time. The map allows them to travel to places throughout world history where they can steal all the treasure they want. 

Naturally, Kevin gets caught up in the time travel chicanery as the bandits take him with them on their journey. The first stop is Italy where they land in the midst of the battle of Castiglione. Then it's off to meet Napoleon in France where they manage to get into Napoleon's inner circle simply because they are the only people Napoleon is taller than. Ian Holm plays Napoleon as a height obsessed goof whose idiocy leads to his new friends stealing his entire treasury. The bandits make a narrow escape with their stolen goods and land somewhere in England in the time of Robin Hood. 

Robin Hood is played by some a****** TERF who I will not name and he assumes that the Bandits treasure is their contribution to his cause, stealing from the rich to give to the poor. This sequence introduces a running gag involving Michael Palin and Shelley Duvall as the most unlucky reincarnated couple in human history. In Robin Hood's era they are robbed multiple times and left to die tied to a tree in their underwear. When we see them again, they are also on the brink of death on a historically doomed voyage. 

The most notable stop on their journey is Mycenaean Greece where King Agamemnon (Sean Connery) is found fighting a minotaur. Kevin is somehow alone, his bandit friends having been dropped somewhere else. With no other option, Kevin accompanies the King back to his palace where he is seemingly adopted by the King and really takes to the idea of staying in Greece and becoming royalty. That is until the bandits do arrive and steal Kevin away via there magical map for another strange and unexpected adventure. 

Click here for my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Lord of War

Lord of War (2005) 

Directed by Andrew Niccol

Written by Andrew Niccol

Starring Nicolas Cage, Jared Leto, Ian Holm, Bridget Moynahan

Release Date September 16th, 2005

Published September 15th, 2005 

Writer-Director Andrew Niccol is a filmmaker of great ambition. His resume as a director is short but both Gattaca and Simone are projects of great imagination and aspiration. Gattaca succeeds far better in its story of genetic engineering than Simone did in its examination of fame and technology but both are films of big ideas and grand ambition.

For his latest effort, the dark gun running drama Lord Of War, Andrew Niccol may have his most ambitious subject yet. An in depth examination of the worldwide trade in weapons that takes a microscope to the life of real life gun runners while turning a large spotlight on an issue most Americans refuse to examine.

Nicolas Cage stars as Yuri Orlav, a Russian born immigrant living in the Little Odessa section of New York City. His life track looks laid out in advance: manage his father's restaurant 'til the old man passes then run it until he himself passes. That all changes when Yuri witnesses a mob hit in his neighborhood. The Russian made hardware used in the hit is inspiring and, using some of his father's connections through a Jewish synagogue, Yuri gets into the gun trade.

Soon he is the top distributor in his neighborhood and is ready to go global. With the help of his little brother, Vitaly (Jared Leto), Yuri attempts to break into the international gun trade. In one of the film's most memorable scenes Yuri and Vitali confront Simeon Wiese (Ian Holm), an old school distributor with ties to the CIA, at one of the strangest conventions you will ever see. Women in bikinis selling tanks and armored personnel carriers and worldwide enemies rubbing shoulders as they purchase the weapons they will soon use to kill each other.

Yuri and Vitaly fail to make it in with Wiese but world events soon occur to level the playing field. With the fall of communism in Russia and the end of the cold war, Wiese and his old guard, with their concern for geo-politics and scruples about only selling to countries with top secret ties to the US, are finished and apolitical types like Yuri, who has no qualms about selling to any and everyone regardless of doctrine, are in.

The rise of Yuri is transposed by the fall of Vitaly. Unable to cope with the violence that results from his brother's projects (he witnessed a teenager executed with one of Yuri's guns), Vitaly begins taking drugs and disappearing for long periods. The far more unscrupulous Yuri on the other hand is as casual about his own drug use as he is about his product and soon lands the life of his dreams with the girl of his dreams played by Bridget Moynahan.

In a story such as this, the audience is trained to wait for Yuri to get his comeuppance. Evil is almost always punished in movies and, while Yuri may be charming, he is clearly evil. Andrew Niccol however keeps you guessing all the way to the end as to whether Yuri will pay the price for his evil deeds. Niccol's scripting is as efficient and cold blooded as his lead character and his direction almost as cool.

Be sure to arrive on time so as not to miss the films opening credits which follow a bullet from production to distribution to execution, literally. It's an extraordinary sequence shot from the bullet's point of view and set appropriately to Buffalo Springfield's classic "For What It's Worth". The credits combined with Nick Cage's extra chilled voiceover narration perfectly set the tone for this brilliantly dark satire.

The odd thing about Lord of War is that while I recommend it as a movie people should definitely see, I don't find the film entertaining by typical Hollywood standards. The film is far more disturbing than entertaining and yet that worked for me. If you don't walk out of Lord of War with a lot of heavy issues on your mind then clearly you were not paying attention. This is one of the smartest  and disquieting political satires since 1999's Wag The Dog or 1962's original Manchurian Candidate.

I know sometimes people go to the movies just looking for simple or even mindless entertainment and if that is the case for you right now then Lord of War is not the movie for you today. If, however, you're out to enjoy a smart movie that deals in big issues and big ideas then Lord of War is a must see. In the intellectual sense Lord of War is highly entertaining.

The one thing you can take away from Lord of War that you could call entertaining by any standard is the performance of Nicolas Cage whose strange career track takes yet another fascinating turn. His last film, the brainless PG adventure National Treasure, showed Cage at his laziest and least thought provoking. In Lord of War it's back to that weird kind of charisma that brought him to fame in his Oscar winning performance in Leaving Las Vegas.

Andrew Niccol has directed sparingly in his career in Hollywood, preferring to write for others. His exceptional script for The Truman Show was everything his own directing effort in Simone wasn't in terms of its satire of celebrity. But one thing that all of Niccol's writing and directing work shows is an aim toward grandiose ideas, incomparable ambition, and a social conscience. Niccol is the rare director in the era of the blockbuster who is interested in telling large, involved stories about American culture, politics and even science.

This consciousness separates him from most other Hollywood directors who seem to prefer telling small stories with smaller characters with nowhere near the ambition of Niccol. It is this quality that will lead Andrew Niccol to create a true masterpiece someday. Lord of War is not that masterpiece but it shows he is on the right track.

Movie Review Ratatouille

Ratatouille (2007) 

Directed by Brad Bird 

Written by Brad Bird

Starring Patton Oswalt, Ian Holm, Janeane Garofalo, Brad Garrett, Peter O'Toole, Will Arnett 

Release Date June 29th, 2007

Published June 28th, 2007

Brad Bird began his career as an animator on some lesser Disney efforts in the early 80's. He then moved briefly to the art department for The Simpsons and has since taken what he's learned in both of those unique arenas to feature films. His Iron Giant was a wondrous combination of classical animation and lovely storytelling. Sadly that film was never appreciated upon its release and only now seems to be gaining the classic status it so richly deserves.

His follow up, 2004's The Incredibles, thrust him to the forefront of modern animated artistry. His take on the all too real lives of superheroes was humorous, heartwarming and action packed and combined Bird's talent for beautiful animation with deeply human animated characters in extraordinary situations.

That film was, of course, a Pixar animation effort. The company that leads the way in computer animated artistry has once again teamed with Brad Bird for another exceptional film. Ratatouille, the story of a French food loving rat, is a loving tribute to food lovers everywhere and a supremely entertaining movie for anyone who enjoys movies. Not just animated movies or kids movies, Ratatouille is entertainment for everyone.

Remy (Patton Oswalt) is a rat in species only. In his heart Remy is a foodie, a lover of the greatest culinary delights. When he finds that he is living in the sewers beneath Paris, Remy see's a whole new world of foodie delights. Accidentally separated from his family, Remy seeks a new home and finds one in the kitchen of the late world famous Gusteau (Brad Garrett).

Gusteau is world famous for his cookbook ``Anyone Can Cook", a book that Remy has read cover to cover and taken to heart. Separated from his family, Remy develops an imaginary friendship with Gusteau who leads him to his restaurant now run by the miserly tyrant Skinner, Gusteau's ex-second in command. Skinner has turned Gusteau's into a money machine, marketing microwave food under Gusteau's world famous name.

Remy arrives at Gusteau's at the same time as a timid young man named Linguini who has his own connection to Gusteau. Linguini has been fired from numerous jobs and see's Gusteau's as his last chance to find something he can make a living at. A letter from Linguini's mother convinces him to hire Linguini as a garbage boy. However, when Linguini decides to help out with the soup, Remy has to step in and help him out.

When the soup is a hit, Linguini is put in charge of the soup and the two form a partnership and a friendship that could return Gusteau's restaurant to its former glory.

The key to Ratatouille is establishing its heart. We are talking about a movie whose star is one of the most reviled characters in the animal world. When you add the fact that our lead rat character is going to be involved with food and you have an awkward mix. However, the power of animation can tend to soften our feelings toward any species, but the real reason we come to love Remy is the terrific voicework of comedian Patton Oswalt.

The caustic comic surprisingly finds the perfect mix of winning humor, and passion that makes Remy a lively lovable character. Listening to Oswalt as Remy talking about food; you hear excitement and the purest of all joy. Remy has a desire not just to taste great food but to create and share great food with anyone and everyone and you hear that zeal in the voice of Patton Oswalt.

Credit director Brad bird for recognizing that passion and genuine enthusiasm in Oswalt's voice when he happened to hear Oswalt giving an interview on the radio. Oswalt was doing a bit from his act about the Black Angus Steakhouse chain and Bird decided then and there he wanted this guy's eager, earnest, enthusiasm for Remy.

The rest of the voice cast is equally well placed with the legendary Sir Peter O'Toole oozing worldly expertise as the tough as nails French food critic Anton Ego. It is O'Toole as Ego who is at the climax of the movie, its most important character and he delivers the climax in a wonderfully unexpected way.

As with all Pixar creations, the animation of Ratatouille is first rate. I mention Pixar because their stamp of quality brings an extra bit of credibility to Ratatouille. But, even working for Pixar, director Brad Bird has put his own stamp on the film. As he did with his previous Pixar produced work, The Incredibles, Bird brings his talent for traditional hand drawn animation to the world of computers and creates his own unique palette.

The look and feel of Ratatouille and its animated Paris milieu is warm and inviting with just a hint of the traditional Paris attitude. The look is timeless, not unlike the real city of lights, thus why you can't really get a sense of the time of Ratatouille. It has both modern and classic touches to the storytelling and the animated locations. It's in no way alien, just unique, its own sort of universe.

So many wonderful things stand out about Ratatouille and one of the most pleasurable is the genuine love of food. The film is a carnival of carnivorous delights making it the perfect movie to see right before going out to a nice dinner. If this movie doesn't stoke your appetite, you simply don't know how to enjoy good food.

Ratatouille is yet another triumph for Brad Bird and the team at Pixar. A joyous celebration of characters, story and animation. What a delight it is to see a movie that delivers in nearly every way imaginable from direction, to storytelling to casting. Nothing is left to chance and we in the audience are the ones who reap the rewards.

Not just a movie for the kids, but by no means over their little heads, Ratatouille is a complete movie. The rare treat of a movie that all audiences can enjoy.

Movie Review The Day After Tomorrow

The Day After Tomorrow (2004) 

Directed by Roland Emmerich

Written by Jeffrey Nachmanoff, Roland Emmerich

Starring Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Sela Ward, Ian Holm, Emmy Rossum

Release Date May 28th, 2004

Published May 27th, 2004 

Being a liberal Democrat and environmentalist, I am supposed to be excited that a major summer blockbuster is taking up a cause I care about.

I’m not.

I am not at all excited that a topic as important as global warming is getting the Hollywood treatment, especially from the director who brought us Godzilla. The Day After Tomorrow plays at being important in its marketing campaign only to cover up its utter goofiness as a movie.

Dennis Quaid stars as Jack Hall, everyman Paleoclimatologist with a thing for the end of humanity because of global warming. So into saving future generations from what he believes is a coming ice age, he has lost contact with his wife (Sela Ward) and his son Sam (Jake Gyllenhaal).

Jack spends most of his time with his partners Frank (Jay O. Sanders) and Jason (Dash Mihok) traveling the polar ice caps. Their most recent excursion uncovered something dangerously unexpected that proves Jack’s theory about the ice age. Unfortunately, when Jack pitches his theory at a conference in New Delhi India, he is blown off by the Vice President of the United States (Kenneth Walsh). The VP is more concerned about American wallets than the survival of the human race.

Of course, Jack’s theory applies to an ice age in say 100 years from now, which may be why the VP is less than impressed. Nevertheless, something good comes out of it when Jack meets Dr. Terry Rapson who will play an important role when Jack’s theory comes true much sooner than he expected.

Jack’s theory is that melting polar ice caps will cause the jetstream to stop delivering warm air to much of the Northern Hemisphere, leaving it a frozen wasteland. We are tipped to some serious trouble when Japan is hit with bricks of hail, Los Angeles is devastated by multiple tornadoes and New York City turns into a swimming pool.

More bad news for Jack, his son Sam along with some schoolmates, Brian (Arjay Smith) and Laura (Emmy Rossum) are in New York and trapped by the rising waters in the top floor of the New York Public Library. Now Jack and his team must trek through the rapidly freezing countryside from Washington DC to New York to save his son. Meanwhile, his ex-wife must decide whether to stay with a dying child and wait for a rescue that might not come or join the hordes of Americans heading for the safety and warmth of Mexico.

The film has a solid three act structure, act one the storm, act two the survival and act three the rescue. Of course, director Roland Emmerich who also wrote the film’s script, can’t resist throwing in extraneous touches like a boneheaded sendup of the Bush administration that even the most ardent Bush haters will roll their eyes at. The dying child I mentioned before, exists only to give Sela Ward something to do and is resolved with little drama.

And then there are the wolves. Yes, for some reason wolves have escaped from the New York Zoo and attack our heroes at the most opportune time.

Now the thing that is garnering the most attention about this film is its tenuous grasp of global warming and environmental issues. To the film’s credit, there is no mention of saving the planet, Emmerich has at least grasped the idea that saving the environment is not about the planet, it’s about saving human beings. That said, his ridiculous ideas about global warming, polar ice caps and so-called SUPER storms are more fiction than science.

There may indeed be an ice age in the future but that is part of the cyclical nature of the planet. There has been an ice age before and there will be one again, whether we cause it or not. There is little evidence we could cause it and that is where the film’s specious logic goes beyond its dramatized idea of a six day ice age and into the dangerous situation of casting a negative light on real environmental issues.

The fact is that a summer blockbuster is no place for such big ideas. Summer blockbusters are to dazzle the eye with cheap thrills and loud noises, if they can also be entertaining on top of that, it’s truly an accomplishment. This portentous idea of a blockbuster with global concerns only serves to denigrate those concerns by dragging them down to the level of the big, dumb, loud blockbuster.

On top of all those problems is that the film is just dull as dirt. While some of the special effects are impressive, every bit of character including the usually reliable Dennis Quaid and Jake Gyllenhaal are annoying, cloying caricatures of melodramatic TV drama characters. This is WB level drama, especially the group of misfits at the library.

The film is interminable halfway through, where the storm and the impressive effects are pretty well over. After that, the film’s atrocious dialogue must carry the day. At 2 hours plus, The Day After Tomorrow makes you wish it were really tomorrow and the movie was a distant memory.

Movie Review: The Lord of the Rings The Fellowship of The Ring

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) 

Directed by Peter Jackson

Written by Peter Jackson, Phillipa Boyens, Fran Walsh 

Starring Elijah Wood, Ian Holm, Ian McKellan, Christopher Lee, Viggo Mortensen, Liv Tyler 

Release Date December 10th, 2001 

Published December 9th, 2001

For the first time in a long while I was able to walk into a theater with almost no knowledge of the film I was about to see. The trailers were merely teasers that didn't giveaway anything of the story, I've never read the book on which the film is based and I read no reviews of the film before seeing it. Yet the film I saw is one of the more hyped films of all time, The Lord Of the Rings Fellowship of The Ring. You're wondering how I was able to avoid learning about LOTR and what it was about. I assure you it wasn't a calculated effort. The books never appealed to me, I did know a little something about hobbits, Middle earth and fairies, but beyond that the film was entirely new to me.

Fellowship is the first in a three picture series in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. It introduces the story of Frodo Baggins (Elijah Wood), who inherits a powerful and mysterious ring from his uncle, Bilbo Baggins (Ian Holm). Frodo has no idea what the ring does but is quickly clued in by the friendly wizard Gandalf (Ian Mckellen), who explains the ring's origin and that of its owner and controller, the evil Lord Sauron. The Ring, we are told, has the power to enslave all of Middle earth; thus it must be destroyed. A fellowship of 9 made up of elves, men, dwarves and hobbits must destroy the ring by returning it to the fires of Mount Doom. Oh if it were only that easy. Sauron is also searching for the ring with his allies the Orcs, and the powerful wizard Samuron (Christopher Lee) who is building an army to stop the intruders.

If you think I'm simplifying too much I'm sorry, I'm just trying to get to my point. It's been a while since we've seen such a pure good vs. evil story, I in fact thought that irony may have destroyed Hollywood's ability to tell such a story without having characters that are overly flawed and quirky. In any other action movie, Frodo would have a drinking problem or an ex-wife who complains about child support and he would make wisecracks before dispatching a villain while each of his emotions were underscored by some pop classic. Yes in that sense LOTR is a breath of fresh air.

Elijah Wood will never be confused with your average adventure hero. His Frodo Baggins is tiny and frightened and certainly not predisposed to violence. Instead, he's pretty good at running and hiding, which he does a lot of. Don't be mistaken, Wood doesn't play Frodo as a coward, he's realistic. He knows he's not a fighter and leaves the warrior stuff to the warriors. Viggo Mortensen is the true standout in the very large cast that also includes Liv Tyler, Cate Blanchett and Hugo Weaving. Mortensen shows some charisma and energy in Fellowship that I had not seen from him before. Here he tears into his character and allows his emotions to carry his words and he's very effective. Lord of the Rings is an epic adventure of great scale and scope. Give director Peter Jackson a lot of credit, he has created an entirely new world onscreen. He brings it to life with amazing visual flourish yet doesn't allow the film to get buried underneath it's special effects, which is quite a delicate balancing act.

Comparisons to Star Wars are warranted. The character's motivations and the action-before-dialogue style are quite reminiscent of the George Lucas creation. Character development takes a backseat to visual artistry and the latest in SFX and CGI technology. Although I prefer more character driven styles, action adventures if done well can be almost as entertaining and Lord of the Rings is very well done. 

Sidenote: Am I the only one who thought Christopher Lee looked like Osama Bin Laden? It was probably just the beard, but his first close-up was somewhat jarring.