Horror in the 90s Warlock

Warlock (1991) 

Directed by Steve Miner 

Written by David Twohy 

Starring Julian Sands, Lori Singer, Richard E. Grant 

Release Date January 11th, 1991 

Box Office $15 million dollars 

Warlock is a completely hilarious disaster. Though it stars respected English actors, Julian Sands and Richard E. Grant, it's an embarrassment to both men's legacies. It's a black mark on their CV's for sure and I feel unkind in even bringing it up in the wake of Julian Sands' tragic passing. But, sadly, as we start a new year of Horror in the 90s, winding out 1990 into 1991, we are confronted with Warlock as the next major horror movie release. Never mind that the movie was actually made in 1989, the release date and its subsequent reputation as both a disaster and somehow a franchise, begins in 1991. 

Warlock stars Julian Sands as the title character, Warlock. Here we must pause to examine the first thing we see in Warlock. A man is building a cage into which cats will be placed. These cats are then taken to the gallows where they are stacked on top of kindling. The ritual is being undertaken for the execution of the Warlock. The cats are being burned alive along with the witch because... witches like cats? Cats and witches do have a long-standing association though where director Steve Miner got the notion that cats were burned with witches they weren't directly associated with; I have no idea. 

Anyway, before he can be executed by fire with cats, Warlock talks to Satan and is tornadoed into the future. The movie literally shows a wispy cartoon tornado engulf Julian Sands and sweep him out of the room. It's the first of several unintentionally funny special effects in this epic bad movie. For reasons never explained, Satan tosses the Warlock into the future world via a farty tornado and tosses him through the window of a suburban California home. Here, the world's most chill roommates, Lori Singer's Kassandra and Kevin O'Brien as Chas, react to having a human being crash through the window of their home the way you or I might react to spilling our drink. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Classic Movie Review The Fugitive

The Fugitive (1993) 

Directed by Andrew Davis 

Written by Jeb Stuart, David Twohy 

Starring Harrison Ford, Tommy Lee Jones, Julianne Moore, Selma Blair, Joe Pantoliano

Release Date August 6th, 2023

Published August 7th, 2023 

The story behind the movie The Fugitive is much crazier than I would have ever expected. The movie is so tight and so uniquely performed, I assumed that it must have been a terrifically assembled piece of work behind the scenes. Then, I read an incredible thread on Twitter from a user named @ATRightMovies. This person lays out a behind the scenes story that, on the surface, you would assume led to the creation of a complete disaster of a movie. Script problems, a star who was halfheartedly interested in making the movie, and assumptions on the set that everyone was making a bad movie, somehow led to the creation of a film that was nominated for 7 Oscars, with one Oscar win. 

The Fugitive is based on a popular 1960s television series starring David Janssen as Dr. Richard Kimble, a man wrongly accused of murdering his wife. Harrison Ford takes on the role of Dr. Kimble in the movie which finds him returning to his well appointed home to find a one armed man had assaulted and murdered his wife (Sela Ward). Kimble fought the one armed man but he managed to mistake. When Police arrived, they found Dr. Kimble covered in his wife's blood, he'd tried to perform CPR and ended up clutching her dead body in his anguish over her death. 

The blood and Kimble's story about a one armed man are too much for the Chicago Police Investigators to buy. They arrest Kimble and charge him with murder. Found guilty, Richard is facing life in prison when fate intervenes. While being transported to a Federal Prison, other inmates on the transport initiate a plan for escape. They attack and stab a guard, the driver of the bus is shot and killed, and the bus crashes on train tracks. In a spectacular sequence, a train is headed toward the bus on the tracks. Kimble picks up the injured officer and saves his life. Then, in a moment that has been shared among the best action sequences of the past 30 years, Kimble leaps from the broken bus seconds before the train strikes it, leading to a train derailment. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review Impostor

Impostor (2002) 

Directed by Gary Fleder 

Written by Caroline Case, Ehren Kruger, David Twohy

Starring Gary Sinise, Madeline Stowe, Vincent D'onofrio, Mekhi Phifer, Tony Shalhoub

Release Date January 4th, 2002 

Published January 3rd, 2002 

Four years ago, Dimension films began work on a science fiction film called The Light Years Trilogy. The film was to be 3 short films based on three separate Philip K. Dick stories. The project never fully came together though two of the three short films were produced. One of those was Impostor starring Gary Sinise and Vincent D'onofrio. The suits at Dimension liked the 30-minute version so much they ponied up the dough to turn it into a full-length feature.

They were better off with the half hour version.

Impostor takes place 75 years in the future, with Gary Sinise as scientist Spencer Oldham. Oldham is working on a top-secret weapon in the war against aliens called the Centaurians. Arriving at work after a weekend vacation, Spencer is arrested by the military police headed by Vincent D'onofrio. D'onofrio claims that Oldham is not who he appears, that he is in fact an alien cyborg with a bomb in his chest.\

In a scene reminiscent of the Salem Witch trials, Oldham is to be tied to an operating table while a laser drills into his chest. The theory is to get the bomb out and diffuse it. Essentially, if Spencer is an alien bomb they kill him and if he's not, the test will have proven he wasn't alien. Spencer will be dead but at least he's not an alien. Well of course Spencer escapes, there wouldn't be a move if he didn't, and thus begins a series of dull chase scenes through your typically post-apocalyptic cityscapes.

Sinise is well cast as is D'onofrio but they were likely better served in the original 30 minute version.

There are some interesting scenes in Impostor. For example, the first interrogation scene with D'onofrio questioning Oldham while his friends and coworkers look on has the feeling of a futuristic version of the 1950's communist witch hunts, and as I previously mentioned the Salem Witch trials. The ending does build some palpable suspense with a fun little twist.

But in the end, Impostor is, to paraphrase the band Sum 41, all filler no killer.

Movie Review: A Perfect Getaway

A Perfect Getaway (2009) 

Directed by David Twohy

Written by David Twohy 

Starring Milla Jovovich, Timothy Olyphant, Marley Shelton, Chris Hemsworth, Steve Zahn

Release Date August 7th, 2009

Published August 7th, 2009

Beware the movie trailer/commercial that tells you of a 'heart-stopping' twist. Right then and there the marketing has spoiled the movie. Now the experience of the movie is waiting for the twist to happen or, in the case of the new thriller A Perfect Getaway, guessing the twist well before it happens. A Perfect Getaway isn't a great movie to begin with. Having the ending spoiled is merely the moldy cherry on top of a melted sundae.

Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich star in A Perfect Getaway as Cliff and Cydney Anderson, newlyweds in Hawaii for their honeymoon. Having decided to hike to a secluded beach on a very remote part of Kauai they think they are in for some romantic alone time. Instead, they are quickly jolted out of their fantasies by two pairs of strangers. 

The first are a dangerous looking pair of hitchhikers, Kale and Cleo (Chris Hemsworth and Marley Shelton), who look fresh from a parole hearing. Then there are Nick and Gina (Timothy Olyphant and Kiele Sanchez). Nick is ex-special ops and unafraid of telling tales of murder and injury. Gina meanwhile, is a little too good with a knife and fearless. When Nick brings a dead goat back to the couple's shared campsite, Gina guts and cleans it, much to the disgust of both Cliff and Cydney.

Soon, news arrives that a murder has taken place. A newlywed couple has been murdered on the island that both of the newly arrived couples have just left and police suspect the killer are a man and a woman and that they may have jumped islands. Naturally, Cliff and Cydney come to suspect Nick and Gina are the killers. Ahh, but what of the Kale and Cleo, the nefarious looking couple?

Cliff is a screenwriter by trade and this leads to an inside baseball conversation between he and Nick that the movie thinks is exceptionally clever. Director David Twohey (Pitch Black, Chronicles of Riddick)  seems to think that by having his characters talk so openly about thriller clichés in mocking tones that that will excuse his movie from taking advantage of those clichés. The meta trick doesn't pay off, we can still see the wheels of the plot turning quite obviously.

Now, it's likely that I have seen too many movies and thus am more difficult to fool than those who don't see so many of the same movies over and over again. Indeed, I can see a less experienced audience taken in by A Perfect Getaway. Me, I wasn't fooled for a second. The clumsy plot fails to hide very particular details that are relatively easy to discern, especially if you aren't taken in by these characters and this dimwitted story. 

That said, A Perfect Getaway isn't without some charm. I did love the detailed stories that Nick tells about his many wild exploits. Timothy Olyphant oozes charismatic danger. He's just off kilter enough to keep you afraid of him but humorous and engaging enough to make you want to root for him, whether he's the killer or the one about to be killed. Steve Zahn and Milla Jovovich on the other hand? Ugh. Trying to bust out of their acting molds, she as a badass action heroine, he as a goofball comic relief sidekick, the pair desperately overplay the yuppie-ness of their characters. That may or may not be by design but that doesn't make it any less irritating.

So, what of this 'pulse pounding' twist? The film does everything it can to cheat around uber-aware audience members like me, even throwing out knowing dialogue about red-herrings, or as Olyphant mistakenly calls them 'red snappers'. The cheats are bothersome and rather than forcing call backs to earlier in the movie, as I am sure they are supposed to, they cause one to reconsider the whole movie and realize how much of a cheat the whole thing really is.

A Perfect Getaway needed to settle one aspect of the essential nature of its story and it could have succeeded in a modest way. Instead, the film cheats and hopes you won't notice. I did notice, repeatedly, and that combined with the irksome performances by Jovovich and Zahn make A Perfect Getaway a chore to endure.