Movie Review Fast X

Fast X (2023) 

Directed by Louis Letterier 

Written by Dan Mazeau, Justin Lin 

Starring Vin Diesel, Jason Mamoa, Tyrese, Charlize Theron, Paget Brewster, John Cena, Michelle Rodriguez, Ludacris, Sung Kang, Jason Statham, Helen Mirren

Release Date May 19th, 2023 

Published May 19th, 2023 

What is there to say about Fast X? If you aren't fully onboard with the utter nonsense that is the Fast and Furious franchise at this point, why are you bothering? I happen to be fully on board for this nonsense. I fell in love with the silly, testosterone fueled nonsense in 2001 and have remained in love with this nonsense as it morphed from being about street racers pulling small scale criminal heists -they literally stole DVD players and VCRs out of semis in the original- to today when everyone is basically an immortal superhero. 

You have to accept a lot of B.S when you accept the Fast franchise. Take, for instance, where we begin in Fast X. Dom (Vin Diesel) and Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) begin the film back in L.A, back in what may be their old neighborhood. These are people who still live with a deep, paranoid fear that people are trying to kill them and they are living exactly where anyone trying to find them will find them, very easily, with little to no effort. 

The movie openly admits this as the plot kicks off with the person who has hunted them for the past two films, Cypher (Charlize Theron), finds their house and knocks on the door. Cypher is battered and bruised. She's bleeding from some sort of wound to her abdomen. She tells Dom and Letty that she sought them out because the person who did this is even more evil than herself. He's so evil that she wants to join their side to fight him. 

That man is Dante Reyes (Jason Mamoa) whose father, Herman Reyes (Joachim De Almeida) was killed during Fast crew's heist of a vault full of cash in Rio De Janeiro, as seen in flashback here and in full in Fast Five. Dante doesn't want to kill Dom, he wants to make him suffer. That means targeting Dom's family and trying to kill anyone who has ever help the Toretto family. Why he doesn't just roll into the L.A suburbs and do his business, I have no idea. 

Instead, Dante, being all kinds of extra, decides to blow up the Vatican and frame Dom's crew for the crime. It's as brazen and silly as that sounds. A portion of Vatican City is destroyed but exposition newscaster, one of the unsung heroes of this franchise, tells us that no one was killed. A giant bomb took out a portion of a massive tourist destination and no one was killed. Everyone in the Fast universe is a superhero. I don't know if this 'no one was killed' nonsense extends to the cops chasing Dom and his crew through the streets of Rome but if they didn't die, there is no death in this universe. 

This sequence is utterly bonkers and I loved it. I did. I loved it. It's total, non-stop, nonsense but it's so much fun. The bomb is a giant ball that rolls out of the back of a semi-truck and will not stop rolling as if Rome were nothing but a tilted table. At one point, the bomb rolls over a gas pump and the pumps explode. Dom uses his car to shield people on the street from the explosion. The bomb continues to roll but is now on fire as Dom chases it in his super-car. It's gloriously stupid and I love it. 

If Fast X lacks, it's due to director Louis Letterier who leans too far into the dour, sourpuss, self-seriousness of Dominic Toretto. Where Justin Lin and F. Gary Gray got how silly this series is and embraced the giddy stupidity, Letterier takes things in the direction that Diesel wants to go, treating the nonsense seriously and threatening to upend the strength of this franchise, how it is embraces its own nuttiness and leans into the criticism of it being the loudest, brainless franchise in Hollywood. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review: Transformers Dark of the Moon

Transformers Dark of the Moon (2011) 

Directed by Michael Bay 

Written by Ehren Kruger 

Starring Shia LeBeouf, Rosie Huntington Whitley, Tyrese, Josh Duhamel, Patrick Dempsey, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich

Release Date June 29th, 2011

Published June 28th, 2011

To say that "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" is the best of the "Transformers" movies is indeed damning with faint praise. The first two "Transformers" films were brutal exercises in filmic excess. Michael Bay banged his metal toys together inches from our ears and eyes and somehow expected us to enjoy it.

For "Dark of the Moon" however, the slamming and banging is rather welcome; especially when it interrupts Bay's abysmal attempts at comedy. The special effects of "Dark of the Moon" have greatly improved from the first two films. The effects editing of "Dark of the Moon" is better, this time we can actually see some of the robot action that before was a blur of whizbang, MTV style, quick cuts.

Sure, the story of "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" remains an incomprehensible bunch of hooey but at least I can make out which robot is Optimus Prime.

Man on the Moon

"Dark of the Moon" picks up with a trip back in time to the original space race. An alien ship has crashed and landed on the moon and President Kennedy authorizes NASA to go find out what it can about this alien vessel. Eight years later, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin arrive on the moon and discover the very first Autobot.

Cut to modern day and to our human hero, Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf). Despite having helped save the world twice Sam can't find a job. He longs to work with his pals Bumblebee and Optimus Prime but for now has to settle for a job in the mail room of a defense contractor; John Malkovich plays the company's wacky CEO.

Meet Carly

Not all is bad for Sam however; he does have a new hot girlfriend, Carly (Rosie Huntington Whitely), who happens to have a great job that keeps them in luxury. Carly works for a venture capitalist named Dylan (Patrick Dempsey) who happens to have a posh car collection. That he also happens to be an evil consort of the Decepticons will only come clear later.

The plot, such as it is, has the evil Decepticons, led by Megatron, looking to use technology stolen from the crashed autobot ship on the moon to import what's left of Cybertron to earth, essentially turning earth into the new Cybertron and turning the humans into slaves.

Which Robot is Which? Do You Care?

You need not know any more than that as what is left is the aforementioned whooey. "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" is not about plot complications or characters; it's about giant robots pummeling each other. Quick question: Can you tell the Autobots from the Decepticons? Sub-question: Do you know the names of the individual Transformers?

I watched the cartoon as a child but for the life of me, I cannot tell any of the robots apart aside from Optimus Prime. There is a new robot added to the mix in Dark of the Moon, Sentinel Prime, and I could tell him apart from the others but only because of the commanding voice of Spock aka Leonard Nimoy.

Regardless of what robot is what, I could not stop myself from enjoying watching them rip each other apart. There is a moment when one robot rips another robots head off and the robot spine was still attached to the robot head; I couldn't hold back my giddiness. It sounds gruesome but they're robots so I don't feel bad for enjoying this glorious carnage.

Michael Bay, YOU'RE NOT FUNNY!

Sadly, Michael Bay keeps up his childish sense of humor in "Transformers: Dark of the Moon." While we settle in to enjoy robot on robot violence, Michael Bay cannot resist childish jokes about sex and sitcom level banter from Shia Le Beouf about his girlfriend troubles, job troubles and car troubles.

As mentioned earlier, John Malkovich shows up in Transformers: Dark of the Moon and when he shares screen time with John Turturro there is fear that the movie could turn into a classic vaudeville routine in which the performers trip and toss each other out of the way in order to take over center stage. This scenario sounds a great deal more fun than it is.

I'm a fan of Ken Jeong but what was he doing in this movie. Jeong plays a scientist with ties to the Decepticons but his real function is to be Ken Jeong and act all crazy. That was fun in the context of the "Hangover" movies, it's less fun in "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" because it feels forced and out place.

Opposing Ideas

Michael Bay has two opposing forces going at all times in Transformers: Dark of the Moon. At once he wants us to take somewhat seriously the notion of an alien battle that may end in the enslavement of all mankind. On the other hand, Bay wants us to laugh at his sophomoric, sitcom jokes. The tone simply never works and the two sides run together like an ugly, head on collision.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon could have been a pretty good movie without the human characters. I get why they are there, our emotional connection to the giant robots is relatively non-existent, but Bay and writer Ehren Kruger have made the human characters so outlandishly goofball that we don't have much emotional connection to them either.

Bottom Line

In the end, all I really wanted was some robot carnage that I could actually see. On that very basic level you could call Transformers: Dark of the Moon a success. Do I recommend the film for a general audience? Not really, you have to really like robots to enjoy Transformers: Dark of the Moon. This is not like Spiderman or Batman where the characters have an appeal beyond their actions.

Movie Review: Four Brothers

Four Brothers (2005) 

Directed by John Singleton 

Written by David Elliott, Paul Lovett

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Tyrese, Andre Benjamin, Garrett Hedlund, Terrence Howard 

Release Date July 1st, 2005 

Published July 1st, 2005 

The amazing John Singleton has, according to some, never lived up to the potential shown in his debut feature Boyz N The Hood. This perception is not shared by this critic. I have enjoyed all of Mr. Singleton's films, save his Shaft remake out of fealty to the original as much as a negative opinion of the filmmaking. His Baby Boy and Rosewood are extraordinarily underrated and even his most commercial effort, the car porn 2 Fast 2 Furious was at the very least high camp popcorn entertainment.

Mr. Singleton's latest effort, the revenge drama Four Brothers, combines elements of Mr. Singleton's artistry and commercialism better than any of his previous films. This ostensible modern remake of the John Wayne western The Sons Of Katie Elder, is stylish in its homage to classic westerns and the ouvre of Charles Bronson and brilliant in its sense of compelling violence and family drama.

Mark Wahlberg stars as Bobby Mercer, the oldest of four troubled adopted sons of the saintly Evelyn Mercer (Fionnula Flanigan). When Evelyn is killed in the midst of a convenience store robbery Bobby comes home to reunite with his brothers, Jeremiah (Andre 3000 of the rap duo, Outkast), Jack (Garrett Hedlund) and Angel (Tyrese Gibson). Soon after the reunion Bobby rallies his brothers to find the guys who killed their mother.

According to the cops, the friendly detective Green (Terrence Howard) and the shady detective Fowler (Josh Charles), Mrs. Mercer was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, soon after launching their far more extensive and violent investigation, the Mercer boys uncover a dangerous conspiracy that leads to the halls of Detroit's City Council and naturally to the city's top thug, Victor Sweet (Chiwetel Ejiofor).

Each of the four brothers is a fully fleshed character with backstories that include multiple stays in prison, the military and a litter of failed relationships. For Angel, returning to Detroit means rekindling a dangerous romance with Sofi (Sophia Vergara) that, while not the film's strongest plot, does provide much of the film's humor. Vergara is very sexy but underserved by a role that simply asks her to be needy and screechy when she is not needed to simply provide eye candy.

Hustle and Flow's Taraji P. Henson shows up in Four Brothers as Jerimiah's wife. Her role is limited to being constantly worried and put off by her husband's brothers and the trouble that seems to follow them, but Ms. Henson is a welcome presence for what little screen time she has.

Surprisingly there is no attempt to give Bobby a love interest, a choice that breaks the mold of typical screenwriting that always calls for the star to be paired with someone. That someone, more often than not in films so heavily infused with testosterone, is a functionary role, a mere plot point and not a character.  So it is a welcome relief that the filmmakers refrained from employing that tired device.

While some complain that a career as a genre filmmaker was not what they had hoped for in John Singleton, I think it suits him. Moreover it suits the genre film to have such a talented artist bringing such talent to bear on what is essentially B-movie material. It would be nice to see Singleton deliver another powerful drama like Boyz N The Hood or Rosewood, but I for one will follow Mr. Singleton's work wherever it takes him.

Movie Review: Transformers

Transformers (2007)

Directed by Michael Bay

Written by Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman

Starring Shia Le Beouf, Megan Fox, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel, Anthony Anderson 

Release Date July 3rd, 2007 

Published July 2nd, 2007

The leaps forward for CGI technology in movies have had a few obvious leaps in innovation. Terminator 2 signaled the arrival. The Matrix and Lord Of The Rings are certainly high water marks. And, of course, George Lucas' mindblowing effects work in the modern trilogy cannot be forgotten, even if the movies weren't as well remembered.

Now comes Transformers from director Michael Bay. Though Bay never met a story he could tell well, he is a master of special effects and his work with George Lucas' effects company ILM has provided a new benchmark in the evolution of CGI. The robot aliens of Transformers are an extraordinary sight, a sight so impressive you almost forget there is no real story, plot or characters bringing proper context to these amazing effects.

In some distant universe a pair of alien robot races have fought and destroyed their planet. The impetus for this destructive war is an all powerful cube that has now been lost somewhere in the universe. It has in fact landed on earth and now the evil Decepticons and the caring Autobots are arriving on earth with differing methods but similar goals. The Decepticons, lead by Megatron, will destroy the earth to retrieve the cube, the Autobots, lead by Optimus Prime, will protect humanity, even if it means destroying the cube.

On earth a teenager named Sam (Shia Le Beouf) may be the key to finding the cube. Seems his great grand father actually located the cube some years ago and after an encounter with Megatron, came to know where the cube was located. Now, under the protection of Bumblebee, a rusty yellow camaro that also happens to be an autobot warrior, Sam is about to have the experience of a lifetime, trapped in the middle of an alien robot war; and he gets the girl, Mikaela (Megan Fox).

The cast ofTransformers also makes room for Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson as military heroes who encounter the Decepticons in the Iraqi desert. Jon Voight as the heroic defense secretary. John Turturro tuns up as an X-Files-esque secret agent and Anthony Anderson in the unlikely role of a computer hacker whose technical expertise cracks important Decepticon codes.

The goofball plot of Transformers is pretty much brain or in other words, typical Michael Bay. Director Bay simply does not care a lick for plot, or characters or dialogue. His expertise lies in special effects and everything else be damned. Thus, we get scenes where allegedly smart military types pass up miles of empty desert for their last stand against the Decepticons in favor of a cityscape filled with innocent bystanders.

Never mind a proper motivation that could have been written into the story, fight scenes set in the fictional city of Mission Hills just look cooler than anything that could have been done in the desert. Just one example of Michael Bay's usual logic be damned approach to storytelling.

Transformers is a truly brainless exercise by typical standards of movie criticism. However, from a more coldly technical perspective, Transformers is one of the more impressive feats of Computer Generated Imagery ever committed to film. The CGI of Transformers is leaps and bounds ahead of CGI that we have seen previously.

As Terminator 2 was landmark moment in the development of CGI technology in the early 1990's, Transformers is a landmark of how far we have come with this technology and what may be possible in the future. Working with George Lucas's team at Industrial Light & Magic, Michael Bay has pushed this technology beyond what many thought was possible.

The CGI of Transformers fully integrates these giant alien robots with human characters in ways that simply were not possible less than a decade ago. Building on the foundation that George Lucas built in the modern Star Wars trilogy and what Peter Jackson crafted in Lord of the Rings and King Kong, Bay surpasses them both with the creation of Optimus Prime, Bumblebee and Jazz, giant robots who function as characters as well or better than their human counterparts.

From a technical standpoint, in terms of special effects and CGI, Transformers is a landmark moment in movie history. Never before have CGI characters been so well integrated with human characters. Bay's control of the action and effects of Transformers shows the potential he has as a director. If he paid the same attention and gave the same care to his story and characters as he gives his special effects, he could make a real masterpiece.

As it stands, Transformers is a truly brainless enterprise. An exercise of awesome technical mastery in service of one of the dumber stories told in this decade. See Transformers on the big screen because DVD will only minimize the technique and play up this idiotic story.

Movie Review: Waist Deep

Waist Deep (2006) 

Directed by Vondie Curis Hall 

Written by ? 

Starring Tyrese, Meagan Good, Larenz Tate, The Game 

Release Date June 23rd, 2006 

Published June 24th, 2006 

The trailers and commercials for Waist Deep give the impression of a gritty, stylish, inner city gangsta pic. Then, you find out it was directed by the same guy, Vondie Curtis Hall, who directed Mariah Carey's Glitter and much of the cool of the trailer slips away. Waist Deep is not nearly as bad as Glitter but it is nearly as vapid and overwrought with an attempt at a relevant, uplifting message that is laughably out of sync.

Brainless gunplay with a melodramatic twist, Waist Deep stars pop star Tyrese Gibson as O2 a recent parollee looking to avoid his third strike and life in prison. He has one other good reason to stay out of trouble, a six year old son named Junior (H. Hunter Hall, the directors son).

Trouble ensues for father and son when they are driving to their home in South Central Los Angeles and get carjacked. Dad is tossed out of the car while Junior is kidnapped with the car. The kidnapping was orchestrated with the aid of a street hustler named Coco (Meagan Goode) who was working on behalf of a gang kingpin named Big Meat (The Game).

Taking Coco hostage, O2 finds that Big Meat is still holding a grudge from a robbery they worked years ago in which O2 walked away with all the loot. Meat was actually the reason O2 was sent to prison the second time, for six years, but apparently that was not enough payback. He wants the money O2 took or he will kill Junior.

Now a few logical questions. Why if O2's cousin, played by the usually terrific Lorenz Tate, works for Big Meat was O2 unaware Meat still had a grudge against him? Why does O2 spend a large portion of the film pretending not to know who Big Meat is if Meat was the reason he went to prison? And why would O2 stay in Los Angeles if he knew that Big Meat was the biggest, baddest gangster in the city? Did he think a guy as crazy as Meat was going to forget a guy who ripped him off? Meat cuts guys hands off with a machete, anyone who knows him should know the guy holds grudges.

These are questions that the movie never answers. Instead, director Vondie Curtis Hall and writer Darrin Scott attempt to distract us with a convoluted series of heists, one more over the top ridiculous than the next, and a rushed, though not entirely unappealing, sex scene.

Along the way Hall and Scott attempt to give Waist Deep a social conscience. In the background of the many scenes of violence are extras who are marching for peace on the streets and more police presence in their neighborhoods. Hall and Scott seem to believe it was wildly ironic and hysterical to have a gang member beaten and kidnapped as a take back the streets rally happens in the foreground. Are they making fun of clueless protesters? No, because Hall and Scott also want the protests to be sincere and the movies anti-violence message is earnest. That is what makes the choices made in presenting these scenes so curious.

What may be most shocking about Waist Deep is the fact that it's soundtrack stinks. This may be some kind of weird stereotype but, generally speaking, urban dramas like Waist Deep have really good hip hop or hardcore rap soundtracks. That is not the case here where Ghostface Killah is the soundtracks big name, but most of the music in the film comes from Kon Artis and Terrence Blanchard and acts as a greek chorus to the action on the screen. That means that the music is as overwrought and dull witted as the film itself.

Tyrese Gibson is really far to good for such weak material. Unfortunately he is making his living on garbage like Waist Deep and his last picture Annapolis, films that fail to take full advantage of his raw intensity and presence. The guy has some real star power, as he showed in his debut film Baby Boy and last years Four Brothers, but it's muted in Waist Deep by a script that is not nearly as smart as he obviously is.

Meagan Goode is one of the most beautiful women in movies today. However, like Gibson, Goode cannot seem to choose the right movies. Breakout stardom remains just out of her grasp in low rent flicks like Deliver Us From Eva and Roll Bounce and Waist Deep is a step backward for this promising talent.

In the end, the blame for the failure of Waist Deep falls on director Vondie Curtis Hall. The actor turned director, best known for his work on TV's Chicago Hope, has an eye that aims for schmaltz and uplift when it should simply begin with story logic and maybe work it's way toward some uplifting message. There is nothing wrong with trying to be socially relevant but a film cannot simply assume relevance it must be earned through good storytelling and compelling characters, Waist Deep has neither.

Cool looking trailers are almost always a letdown and Waist Deep is yet another sad example of a trailer that is far better than the film from which it is culled. Director Vondie Curtis Hall has done little to improve his skills since Glitter. His skills in direction are good enough in terms of keeping his camera trained on the action but he has a tin ear for character development and plotting, two rather important elements in filmmaking.

Movie Review: Annapolis

Annapolis (2006)

Directed by Justin Lin

Written by Dave Collard 

Starring James Franco, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese 

Release Date January 27th, 2006

Published January 27th, 2006 

Annapolis is a real anomaly as a film. On the surface it's the story of a lower class kid fighting his way into the toughest military academy in the country. However, on the way to being a coming of age story the film lapsed into a boxing movie? Huh? James Franco stars in Annapolis as Jake Huard a wrong side of the tracks kid working hard not to end up like his miserable father working forever in the Baltimore shipyards. Jake's dream is to get into the the Annapolis naval academy, literally across the tracks from where Jake is now.

After pestering a United States Senator for months on end Jake gets his shot at Annapolis but finds that his dream is not so easily achieved. On the one hand Jake meets Ali (Jordana Brewster) a superior officer who takes an immediate shine to him. On the other hand he runs smack dab into the toughest drill instructor since Louis Gossett Jr. in Lt. Cole (Tyrese Gibson) who hates Jake on sight. Cole picks on Jake from day one and when Jake shows an interest in the Academy boxing program Cole throws down the gauntlet, go one on one with the Lt. and maybe, just maybe, Jake will have a shot to survive Annapolis.

What! Where does boxing have anything to do with military service. What does boxing have to do with anything in Annapolis. Director Justin Lin and writer David Collard shift gears from coming of age story to rote sports movie for seemingly no reason. Well there may have been a reason, as indecipherable as it may seem. I think that Lin and Collard quickly realized that the coming of age stuff wasn't working. The romance between James Franco and Jordana Brewster was lifeless and limp leaving only the boxing scenes with any real juice, all provided by the fiery presence of Tyrese Gibson who deserves a far better film.

Yes, the film does get some steam from the boxing scenes thanks Franco's training sessions with the surprisingly effective Donny Wahlberg playing his mentor and trainer. Franco and Gibson have good chemistry in and out of the ring as well. What makes Annapolis too ridiculous for words are the faux drama of the coming of age portions of the film, Franco versus his downtrodden daddy plays like bad after school special stuff as Franco whines and moans and daddy says he's never gonna amount to anything, yada yada yada. These scenes are even more tedious than they sound.

Director Justin Lin has been in a tailspin since his exceptional debut feature Better Luck Tomorrow. While I must admit that he did more than competent work on Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, there is no arguing that films artistic merits or lack thereof. Annapolis is inexorable. A shiftless, rhythm less tone free snoozer of sports clichés and coming of age hokum. One of the worst films of 2006.