Classic Movie Review Amazon Women on the Moon

Amazon Women on the Moon (1987) 

Directed by Joe Dante, Carl Gottlieb, Peter Horton, John Landis, Robert K. Weiss 

Written by Michael Barrie, Jim Mulholland 

Starring Arsenio Hall, Michelle Pfeiffer, Joe Pantoliano, David Allan Grier, Rosanna Arquette 

Release Date September 18th, 1987 

Published September 18tth, 2017 

One of the first movies I ever reviewed on my podcast, when it was still called I Hate Critics, now Everyone’s a Critic, was a disconcerting sketch comedy movie called Movie 43. The film was a series of appalling short films strung together with no narrative under a title that one could imagine it having been randomly assigned by a movie studio for storage purposes, not intended for theatrical release. That this series of short films starred such actors as Hugh Jackman, Kate Winslet, Richard Gere, Liev Schreiber, and Naomi Watts are the only reason Movie 43 ever saw the light of day.

When I saw Movie 43 I had never even heard of the obscure 1987 comedy Amazon Women on the Moon. I take that back, I did hear of it but I assumed it was some sort of softcore pornographic comedy. I think I may have also confused it with the movie Cannibal Women in the Amazon Jungle of Death, an epically unfunny spoof movie starring Bill Maher, before Politically Incorrect, oddly enough, and Shannon Tweed.

It turns out, Amazon Women on the Moon is everything that Movie 43 wished it could have been, trenchant, hilarious, weird, and just plain fun. Twenty-six years before Movie 43 strung together a random assemblage of movie stars in unfunny short films, writers and directors John Landis, Carl Gottlieb, Robert K. Weiss, and Carl Dante, all born from the Roger Corman school of filmmaking, pulled off the trick Movie 43 so desperately failed at, a ragingly funny sketch comedy movie.

Amazon Women on the Moon consists of 19 short films, some related, some not. The sketches do vary in quality, with Joe Dante really stealing the show in his portions, while Robert K. Weiss struggles a little with the film’s title sketch. Landis and Gottlieb go a far less traditional route with mostly good results, especially Gottlieb’s use of nudity which is wonderfully absurd and genuinely inspired.

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review The Age of Innocence

The Age of Innocence (1993) 

Directed by Martin Scorsese

Written by Jay Cocks, Martin Scorsese

Starring Daniel Day Lewis, Michelle Pfeiffer, Winona Ryder 

Release Date October 1st, 1993 

Published September 2023 

Flower imagery is important for Martin Scorsese in The Age of Innocence. The open credits roll over footage of a flower. The first moving image of The Age of Innocence is an opera singer (Cindy Katz), picking up a flower as she sings. According to the Old Farmer's Almanac, conveying meaning via flowers was something of an elaborate pastime in the late 1800s, the time in which The Age of Innocence is set. The color of the flower, the type of flower, the bow tied to the flower, and the way in which the flower was given all had a specific meaning that was known among those in the Victorian Era. 

For instance, a yellow flower indicates romantic rejection whereas Red is the color of passion. The opera singer in the opening of The Age of Innocence has picked a yellow flower and whether or not you understand the language she is singing in, the flower is an indication that the man who is behind her in this scene, played by Actor Thomas Gibson of Dharma and Greg fame, is receiving a romantic rejection. Daniel Day Lewis' Newland Archer is seen as Scorsese pans over the crowd and is wearing white carnation which, again, according to the Old Farmers, indicates innocence, pure love, and sweet love. 

Newland is newly engaged to May, played by Winona Ryder, and appears happy to be betrothed to young woman from a good and respectable family. His well being however, is upended by the appearance of Countess Ellen Olenska, played by Michelle Pfeiffer. Where May is much younger than her husband to be, Ellen is the same age and the two had known each other in their youth. For various reasons, they never became romantically involved. Ellen moved to Europe, married into royalty and is now scandalizing New York City with the notion that she may actually become divorced. The plot truly kicks in when Newland is assigned by his law firm to represent Ellen and encourage her to return to her powerful husband or risk scandal and ruin. 

Nearing the end of the first act we get more flower imagery. Newland, after having visited Countess Olenska, decides to send her flowers but not before he's reminded by the florist that he should send flowers to his wife-to-be, May. Newland sends May her favorite flower, Lilly of the Valley which symbolizes sweetness, tears of the Virgin Mary, and humility. These are lovely and also damning traits. For the Countess, he sends yellow roses. Now, yellow does symbolize rejection but, yellow roses have their own meaning. in this case, they symbolize jealousy, decrease of love, and infidelity. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Spoiler Alert: Ant-Man and the Wasp Quantumania What is Kang's Future in the MCU?

Ant-Man and the Wasp Quantumania (2023) 

Directed by Peyton Reed 

Written by Jeff Loveless

Starring Jonathan Majors, Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Michael Douglas, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kathryn Newton

Release Date February 17th, 2023 

Published February 20th, 2023 

This article carries with it spoilers for Ant-Man and The Wasp Quantumania, a decidedly mixed but not bad entry in the Marvel Canon. If you'd like to avoid spoilers, I suggest seeing the movie before coming back and reading this article. We are going to dig into the ending, specifically the mid and post credits sequences which set the table for the the latest reboot of the Marvel Cinematic Universe known as Phase 5. Ant-Man and the Wasp Quantumania is the kickoff for this new era of Marvel movies and you will want to see it before you read this thorough spoiler post. 

For those sticking around, welcome, let's talk about what should have been called Kang the Conqueror Quantumania because this was a Jonathan Majors movie far more than it was starring anyone else. Kang the Conqueror looms large over every aspect of Ant-Man and the Wasp Quantumania. He's the new Thanos and the movie does well to put over the idea of just how volatile and dangerous Kang truly is. Jonathan Majors does much of the heavy dramatic lifting in the movie and, for the most part, he's successful in establishing the next big bad of the Marvel Universe. 

Context: Ant-Man and the Wasp comes to a close with Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) and Hope Van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly) seemingly sacrificing themselves to a life trapped in the Quantum Realm just so they can prevent Kang the Conqueror from escaping his Quantum Realm exile. Having shrank Kang even smaller than even they've gone, hurtling him into a seeming oblivion, Scott and Hope are then immediately rescued by Cassie Lang (Kathryn Newton), in an all too rushed and pat conclusion to what could have been a slightly more dramatic ending. 

Back home, Scott resumes his mundane, day to day existence as a pseudo-celebrity, walking down the streets of San Francisco smiling and waving like he was about to run for Mayor. This happy-go-lucky stroll is interrupted by a thought that nags at the back of Scott's mind. It's something that Kang said before he was sent into oblivion, that only he, Kang, could stop what is coming. Kang being a man who could control time would definitely know if something big, perhaps world-altering were coming down the pike. Did Scott just create this world-altering event by eliminating the one man who might be able to prevent it? 

And cut to credits. It's not a bad ending, but there are some things that could have improved it. That said, the intriguing question of what's next in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is established with this victory but at what cost ending. Kang the Conqueror may have been vanquished but Kang is not done trying to conquer the multiverse. For you see, dear reader, because of the Multiverse, there are millions of Kangs. Three of them seem to have risen to the top of the Kang Army but there are an unending number of variations and they've all just been given the greenlight to unleash multiversal chaos. 

Find my full length Spoiler Alert at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Ant-Man and the Wasp Quantumania

Ant-Man and the Wasp Quantumania 

Directed by Peyton Reed

Written by Jeff Loveness

Starring Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, Michelle Pfeiffer, Michael Douglas, Jonathan Majors 

Release Date February 17th, 2023 

Published February 15th, 2023 

In the Quantum Realm Janet Van Dyne (Michelle Pfeiffer) believed she would live out her days alone and lost. Then, a spaceship crashed in front of her. Inside was a man with no name, though she would eventually know him as Kang (Jonathan Majors). For a time, Janet and this nameless man worked together to try and escape from the Quantum Realm. That partnership ended when Janet found out who Kang really was, an entity, a being, a God, known as Kang The Conqueror. 

Kang once held a mastery over time. His God-like powers allowed him to travel the multiverse where he destroyed entire branch universes in order to consolidate his own power. Trapped in the Quantum Realm after Janet betrayed him, Kang built an empire and kept searching for a means to escape. That chance to escape comes after Janet has managed to escape, with the help of Scott Lang (Paul Rudd), aka Ant-Man. It takes a little time but when Cassie Lang built a machine that could map the Quantum Realm, it opened a portal that sucked in Cassie, her dad Scott, Janet, her husband, Hank Pym (Michael Douglas), and Janet's daughter, Hope Van Dyne (Evangeline Lilly), aka The Wasp. 

Now trapped in the Quantum Realm and separated from each other, the family must find a way to reunite. All while being pursued by Kang who hopes to steal whatever means allowed Janet to escape from the Quantum Realm. That means being, Pym Particles, the creation that allows Ant-Man and The Wasp to shrink or grow in size and take advantage of the strength of ants. Kang believes that this technology could be used to restore the MacGuffin that gave power to the ship that stranded him in the Quantum Realm and allow him to travel to and conquer universes as he had done before he was exiled. 

And that's the plot of Ant-Man and the Wasp Quantumania. Can Scott Lang overcome the God-Like powers of Kang the Conqueror and keep him from destroying countless universes. It's a solid and relatively simple plot but one that lacks much in terms of depth. Scott Lang's character arc isn't much. He wishes he could go back to before The Snap and be with Cassie as she grows up. Kang, with his ability to manipulate time, might be able to give him that wish. However, though the trailer seems to indicate that Scott would be open to working with Kang, that doesn't happen in the movie. 

At no point is Scott not the Ant-Man we've always known, a slightly gawky devoted dad and practical screw-up. The movie doesn't change him much nor, does it appear that his experiences saving the world alongside the Avengers seem to have changed him much. He's perhaps become overly cautious when it comes to Cassie, urging her not to take risks or do anything that might risk her safety, even if said thing is the right thing to do. That's not really much of an arc but that's about all that we get in Ant-Man and the Wasp Quantumania. 

In terms of arcs, none of these characters seem to have much growth or change. Janet Van Dyne does open up to her family for the first time since she has been back in her own universe but that's only because of the dangerous circumstances at play and not due to any emotional growth on her part. As for Hank and Hope, they're mostly sidelined here. Hope especially, seems to have less dialogue and screen time than in the previous Ant-Man movies. Michael Douglas has a few moments where he looks cool but he's mostly superfluous to the plot. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Married to the Mob

Married to the Mob (1988) 

Directed by Jonathan Demme

Written by Barry Stugatz, Mark Burns 

Starring Michelle Pfeiffer, Matthew Modine, Alec Baldwin, Dean Stockwell, Oliver Platt

Release Date August 19th, 1988

Published August 18th, 2018 

Married to the Mob stars Michelle Pfeiffer in one of the best performances in her incredible career. As Angela DeMarco, the increasingly uncomfortable mob wife of ‘Cucumber’ Frank DeMarco (Alec Baldwin), Pfeiffer is the only sympathetic character in a universe of cartoonish killer criminals and duplicitous, weirdo FBI guys. Pfeiffer is the only element of Married to the Mob that makes complete sense.

Angela DeMarco wants out of the life of a mob wife. The bloom is off the rose of being married to a man who furnished their home with items that ‘fell off a truck.’ Angela is tired of the politics that come with being a mob wife which means spending a lot of time with fellow mob wives, a group of shrill, crispy-haired, harridans led by the Boss’s wife, Connie (Mercedes Ruehl), who demands that all mob wives follow her lead.

While Angela is plotting her escape from the mob world, FBI Agent Mike Downey (Mathew Modine) is looking for his way in so he can take down the whole thing. Mike and his partner Benitez (Oliver Platt) have been after mob boss Tony ‘The Tiger’ Russo for a while now and when things break down between Tony and Frank and Angela becomes a target of Tony’s affection, Mike has his way to get after the boss, if he can keep from falling for Angela himself.

Married to the Mob is a strange movie. The title is comically overlong and humorously ill-suited to the actual content of the film. The mob clichés are comically over the top. The Italian accents, the greasy hair, the mob lingo are right out of a parody. The story however, features mob killings that would feel at home in an episode of The Sopranos. Despite the comic accents, Dean Stockwell and Alec Baldwin play their characters with a seriousness at odds with the supposed comic nature of the movie.

Then there is Michelle Pfeiffer who plays Angela completely straight, with none of the comically over-arching touches that Mercedes Ruehl and the rest of the female cast, bring to their characters. When she begins the romantic plot with Matthew Modine’s FBI Agent, posing as a plumber while using Angela as bait to catch Tony, the romance has a light touch but she doesn’t play any single beat with the comedy that director Jonathan Demme appears to be directing her toward.

Modine’s character as well is really strange. He appears to be a comic character early on as he and Oliver Platt dip into strange banter, they have a weird slow motion high-five that appears for no real good reason. Then there is the bizarre glimpse of his home life where he has a Pee-Wee Herman style set up to help him put on his suit. It kind of fits the bizarre comic tone of Married to the Mob but the joke only serves to make him seem like a weirdo and not a romantic hero.

Everyone in Married to the Mob appears to be doing their own bit of business. The accents, the hairstyles, the odd quirks, every character seems to take a moment to demonstrate an odd trait and none of it appears to fit either in the comedy that the movie kind of is and the mob drama that the movie also kind of is. All of that said, these touches give the film personality but where that personality fits in in terms of genre is a mystery that keeps the film from greatness.

There are great moments throughout Married to the Mob and Jonathan Demme is a fine director who brings personality to the film but he can’t seem to decide whether we are to take the film seriously or laugh at it. Characters like Mercedes Ruehl are playing straight comedy while Dean Stockwell, who was nominated for an Academy Award for this performance, and Michelle Pfeiffer are taking the film relatively seriously.

The film is a tonal mess. Comedy, violence, mob drama and mob comedy, Married to the Mob is filled with personality but it’s a Sybil-esque personality in which we never know which movie is on screen from scene to scene. I don’t have a huge dislike for Married to the Mob but I can’t fully embrace the movie, outside of Michelle Pfeiffer’s star-turn, because it is such a whiplash of weird shifts in tone.

Married to the Mob was released 30 years ago this weekend.