Movie Review The Dark Tower

The Dark Tower (2017) 

Directed by Nikolaj Arcel

Written by Akiva Goldsman, Jeff Pinkner, Anders Thomas Jensen, Nikolaj Arcel

Starring Idris Elba, Matthew McConaughey, Jackie Earl Haley

Release Date August 4th, 2017 

To whomever said that Stephen King’s epic novel The Dark Tower was un-adaptable to the big screen, we owe you a Coke. The supremely silly movie sequel to King’s dense Dark Tower book series is an embarrassment to all involved from King to director Nicolaj Arcel to Academy Award winning star Matthew McConaughey and Academy Award nominated producer Ron Howard, who for some reason passed on directing The Dark Tower himself; golly, I can’t imagine why?

The work of the prolific Mr. King seems to resist adaptation in the same way a country might resist an invading army. Don’t misunderstand, some have managed to pull off the trick; Stanley Kubrick made The Shining, though Stephen King hated his adaptation; Frank Darabont did okay with The Green Mile but again, King hated that one as well and even The Shawshank Redemption wasn’t beloved by the creator even as audiences loved it. Of the 50 or so King properties made into television or feature films, only a handful have turned out watchable and The Dark Tower is not one of those movies.

Idris Elba is the star of The Dark Tower as Roland the Eld, a Gunslinger living on a Middle Earth where everything has been lost to some sort of apocalypse started by the evil Walter (Matthew McConaughey), a sorcerer(?) bent on destroying the Dark Tower which stands in the middle of a dozen or so galaxies and protects from the ultimate evil beyond the stars. Standing alongside Roland is teenager Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor) whose visionary nightmares brought him to this middle earth, not the Lord of the Rings one, a Stephen King one, where he hopes to prevent the apocalypse on his version of Earth(?). (The movie is such a mess it's impossible to say whether Walter is a sorcerer or what Jake's motivations truly are, hence all the question marks.)

The Dark Tower was director by Nicolaj Arcel who seems entirely over-matched by this material. Arcel’s previous effort was the studious period piece A Royal Affair and it showed he could wrangle a sweet period piece romance but I am not sure what producer Ron Howard saw in that film that led them to believe Arcel could marshal the silliness of The Dark Tower into anything other than another abominable Stephen King adaptation.

Poor Matthew McConaughey takes it on the chin for the cast of The Dark Tower. While Taylor has youth as an excuse and while Elba can fall back on the cool Gunslinger persona, McConaughey is adrift as the ultimate evil, Walter. Sure, he’s also referred to as The Man in Black but even then, his costume includes a long coat with shoulder pads that make him look more 80s Dynasty diva than ultimate evil. Why they decided that the ultimate evil, worse than the Devil, Roland claims, should be called Walter is one of several bizarre decisions made by the creators of The Dark Tower. Sure, that could be something from King's book but even then, they could have written that part out of the movie considering how this is a follow-up to the books and not a straight adaptation.

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review I Am Legend

I Am Legend (2007) 

Directed by Francis Lawrence

Written by Mark Protosevich, Akiva Goldsman

Starring Will Smith, Alice Brag, Charlie Tahan, Dash Mihok

Release Date December 14th, 2007

Published December 13th, 2007

Will Smith is the biggest star in the world for a reason. People just love this guy. It's an inexplicable kind of chemistry. He has that indefinable quality that draws people to him and that quality makes a big difference in his latest effort I Am Legend. Playing the last man in New York City, Smith is robbed of the tools that have made him a star. Gone is the charm, the timely quips lost on his only companion, his dog. Of course, he may not need his usual charm and quirks. After all I Am Legend has Will in his comfort zone, saving the world.

Dr. Robert Neville is resistant to both the air borne and blood borne virus that has in just three years wiped out most of the world's population. Those who weren't killed and weren't immune like Robert have mutated into bloodthirsty night dwellers who roam the streets in search of what fresh meat remains. Only Robert remains in New York City and he is a little lonely.

Spending his days hunting deer on Broadway and growing crops by the shore, and his nights trying to cure the virus, Robert is slowly going insane from the human void around him. Like Tom Hanks in Castaway, a movie I'm sure Robert has watched a dozen or so times, Robert longs for human contact and even begins infusing human qualities in inanimate objects.

Of course things don't stay this way. The mutants that Robert had thought were brain dead, bloodthirsty monsters are evolving in their hunt for blood and a confrontation is brewing between the scientist and the evil dead. Eventually, another human does arrive and they will make a stand together.

I Am Legend was directed by Francis Lawrence, a director who knows post-apocalyptic doom from his underrated work on the Keanu Reeves flick Constantine. I Am Legend leaves that film in the dust by depicting a decrepit world in ruins. The New York City of I Am Legend is like a second star of the film constantly vying for your attention.

Seeing the streets overgrown with weeds, the buildings moldered and dust covered, the streets covered in dirt, is truly mind blowing. Lawrence and his effects team create a stunningly realistic landscape for Smith and his undead friends to inhabit.

Ah, but Lawrence did not leave the direction to just the effects. He does a terrific job creating opportunities for Will Smith to do his action thing. The tense confrontations between Will and the bloodthirsty monsters are directed with so much tension and energy that you will watch through your fingers, slumping in your seat as your heart beats quickly.

This is a terrific piece of direction. Early on, as Will and his dog are chasing deer, the dog chases a fawn into a dark worn down building. We intuit quickly that the monsters can only thrive in the dark and that this is a dangerous situation. Using little light and some forced perspective camera work, Lawrence creates a fast paced, tension filled sequence.

I Am Legend is terrifically exciting and smarter and more thoughtful than you might expect from such a genre flick. Will Smith brings a number of fine character touches to Robert that make him real to us, real enough that we fear for him and are thus engulfed in his plight. For fans of both horror and action, I Am Legend is arguably the movie of the year. For the rest, it's a satisfying bit of Saturday night entertainment.

Movie Review I, Robot

I, Robot (2004) 

Directed by Alex Proyas 

Written by Jeff Vintar, Akiva Goldsman

Starring Will Smith, Bridget Moynihan, Bruce Greenwood, James Cromwell, Alan Tudyk 

Release Date July 16th, 2004

Published July 14th, 2004

Will Smith says he only has a few more years of running, jumping and shooting before he needs to find another niche. Let’s hope it’s more than a few years because he is one of that genre's most-welcome stars. Yes Bad Boys 2 stunk but his latest film I, Robot, makes up for that piece of trash with a smart stylish Sci-Fi action movie.

Smith stars as Detective Del Spooner, your average everyday Chicago Police Detective. Looking around his messy apartment and his old school casual clothes you would never guess he lives in the year 2035. That is until he steps out into the streets that teem with commuters and their walking, talking robot counterparts.

In 2035 robots will be an important part of everyday society, assisting in everyday activities such as cooking, cleaning and various menial jobs that humans would prefer not to do. This might sound good to most people but Del hates it and he hates robots. His prejudice stems from an accident that is hinted at in his dreams.

It is ironic then with Del’s dislike of robots that he would be the detective forced to investigate the apparent suicide of the top robot creator in the world, Dr. Alfred Lanning (James Cromwell). Spooner knows Dr. Lanning, how they know each other is explained later in the film, and Lanning has left him a holographic projection that may hold an important clue to something even bigger than his own suicide.

Spooner, ever suspicious of robots, chooses to investigate the case as murder. He is allowed into Dr. Lanning’s labs under the watchful eye of the company’s owner Lawrence Robertson (Bruce Greenwood) and Dr. Lanning’s assistant Susan Calvin (Bridget Moynihan). It’s preposterous of course that a robot could commit a murder because they are implanted with Dr. Lanning’s three laws of robotics (They are of course the creation of writer Isaac Asimov who wrote the short story “I , Robot” which is part of this film’s inspiration but not it’s direct source).

The three laws are:

1. A Robot may not harm a human being or through inaction allow a human being to be harmed.

2. A Robot must obey the orders of a human being unless those orders violate the first law.

3. A Robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not violate the first two laws.

Of course as Detective Spooner cleverly points out, rules are meant to be broken. Dr. Lanning must have agreed because prior to his death he created a robot he called Sonny (Voice by Alan Tudyk) who can think, feel and make choices that may allow it to reconsider the three laws. The Robots, especially Sonny, are some of the most spectacular examples of CGI that we have ever seen. Lifelike and eminently believable, the robots of I, Robot stand alongside Spider-man and the creatures of George Lucas as examples of what amazing things CGI can do

Director Alex Proyas may be the best director working in the science fiction genre today. If you haven’t seen his Dark City, finish reading this and run to the video store because that film is a must see masterpiece. I, Robot is not a masterpiece but as a genre piece and a Will Smith movie, it is spectacular.

Smith’s charisma continues to mature as he does as an actor. Smith is such a welcome reassuring presence that you can forgive a few screenplay contrivances that manipulate his character into particular situations. You can also forgive a few of those all-to-well-timed one-liners that occasionally feel out of place in this straight-faced film.

Many critics have complained that this film strays too far from Isaac Asimov’s brilliant short story written as part of his Robot Dreams collection. Indeed this is Asimov’s “I, Robot” in name only. This I, Robot is cynical about technology, robots specifically, where Asimov always played the robots as conflicted good guys that may have occasionally struggled with the three laws but protected humanity.

The script for this I, Robot written by Jeff Vintar and Oscar winner Akiva Goldsman has an almost Luddite view of technology. The script shows a fear of technology more in the vein of Osamu Rezuka’s Metropolis than Asimov, though both ask similar questions. Can robots think, feel, or love?

I, Robot, doesn't have the time to answer those questions. It’s a little too busy being an action movie, but it does have its thoughtful moments and the banter between Smith’s cop and Moynihan’s scientist does offer moments of good debate about the nature of humans and robots. The film is not exactly deep but it has more interesting ideas than most big summer blockbusters and for that we should cheer.

Movie Review: Cinderella Man

Cinderella Man (2005) 

Directed by Ron Howard 

Written by Cliff Hollingsworth, Akiva Goldsman 

Starring Russell Crowe, Renee Zellweger, Paul Giamatti, Craig Bierko, Bruce McGill 

Release Date June 3rd, 2005

Published June 2nd, 2005 

Legendary depression era writer Damon Runyon dubbed James J. Braddock 'The Cinderella Man'. Runyon, best known for his unique patois and shady underworld characters, found some things he liked about the Braddock story. There was the the underdog unlikeliness of the story and the sports setting, however, the square Mr. Braddock was not really Damon Runyon's favorite kind of character. Runyon may not have been taken much with Ron Howard's equally square biography of Mr. Braddock which takes its name from his writing. Cinderella Man, starring Russell Crowe, features some awesome boxing but the earnest sentimental drama out of the ring crosses quickly over to out and out schmaltz.

Russell Crowe stars as James J. "Bulldog" Braddock who in 1929 was a top ranked Light Heavyweight contender. Braddock was flush with success, cash, a beautiful wife named Mae (Renee Zellweger) and three gorgeous kids. Sadly however in a Jobian succession of ills, Braddock lost nearly everything in the stock market crash of 1929 and a subsequent hand injury that would eventually sidetrack his promising career.

In 1933 Braddock was forced from the ring by his injury and a series of bad fights, mostly ugly brutal losses, though to his credit Braddock was never knocked out. With bills piling up, winter coming and his family living in a dirt floor apartment, Braddock attempts to find work on the docks of New Jersey but there are more men than shifts and he and many others are often excluded.

Forced to beg his former boxing promoters for money, Braddock finds sympathy from his former manager and trainer Joe Gould (Paul Giamatti) who pulls strings to get Braddock his boxing license back and lands him an important fight at Madison Square Garden, playing punching bag to a new top contender. Braddock shockingly knocks the kid out and in so doing, he earns the admiration of fans for his gutty style and his obvious underdog status.

One fight leads to another and eventually Braddock has a showdown with the champion of the world, Max Baer (Craig Bierko). The champ is reputed to have killed two men in the ring, is much bigger than Braddock, and given Braddock's time away from the ring, there is much speculation that Baer might just make it three in ring kills. Braddock's wife Mae is certainly concerned, a bit of drama the film mines for dramatic tension near the end of the film.

Going in to Cinderella Man with no knowledge of whether James J. Braddock won or lost the championship fight lended a great deal of compelling drama to the film's boxing scenes which on top of the suspense, are extraordinarily shot by Director Ron Howard and Cinematographer Salvatore Totino. The boxing is by far the best part of Cinderella Man. The audience I watched with cheered and clapped at the end of each fight as if they were inside that smoky rundown gymnasium.

If the rest of Cinderella Man were as good as the boxing we would be talking about one of the best movies of the year. However the film's script by Cliff Hollingsworth and script doctor Akiva Goldsman is so achingly sentimental you have to fight your eyes to keep them from rolling. The non-boxing scenes overflow with the fairy tale goodness of James Braddock the family man. Braddock is treated with such a soft touch you can hardly believe he would have the will to punch someone, let alone become a boxing champion.

The only thing that keeps Cinderella Man from becoming a complete loss, aside from the boxing, are the performances of Russell Crowe, Renee Zellweger and Paul Giamatti. This awesome cast of real pro actors handle even the most squeamish of squishy dialogue with just the right amount of earnestness and distance. This is a fairy tale underdog story that happened to come true so earnestness and sentimentality are to be expected, but without these great actors this may have well become a Hallmark Hall of Fame TV weepie.

I cannot say enough great things about the boxing scenes in Cinderella Man. Russell Crowe nails the pose, the athleticism, and the raw power of a real boxer while Howard directs around whatever deficiencies Crowe may have had. The boxing scenes are extraordinary and very compelling and really the most memorable thing about Cinderella Man.

It's not that the rest of the film, from the home life drama to the social drama of the depression era setting or the romance between Crowe and Zellweger, never works but that it's all a bit too safe. Despite the gritty ghetto setting and the dingy dive boxing arena, there is very little grit or dirt in Cinderella Man. Braddock was well known for his decency and honor, wonderful qualities but no one is perfect. Director Ron Howard portrays James Braddock as if he were positioning him for sainthood.

This earnest portrayal grows weary after a while and you long for some little bit of dysfunction, some flaw, anything that could shed some light on how this eminently decent gentlemen became a brutal warrior in a boxing ring. Certainly his desperate situation, the fact that he was fighting to feed his family, played a large role in his determination but what aspect of his personality drove him to be a championship contender in the first place? That element is missing from Crowe's performance and the film as a whole.

Director Ron Howard has never been known for his gritty storytelling. You expect Howard to indulge his crowd pleasing nature. He indulges a little too often in Cinderella Man but with the extraordinary boxing scenes and the power of his cast, Howard manages to keep Cinderella Man, at the very least, entertaining all the way to the final bell. It could have been a real contender but as it is, Cinderella Man is a bit of fluffy feel good entertainment.

Movie Review: The Da Vinci Code

The Da Vinci Code (2006) 

Directed by Ron Howard 

Written by Akiva Goldsman 

Starring Tom Hanks, Jean Reno, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellan

Release Date May 19th, 2006 

Published May 18th, 2006 

Having read Dan Brown's worldwide best seller The Da Vinci Code my expectations for the film version were quite low. Despite his admittedly intriguing premise involving the bloodline of Jesus Christ, the holy grail, and secret societies, Dan Brown's writing style is a tedious mixture of portentous dialogue and sub-Crichton chase scenes.

Thankfully the movie version of The Da Vinci Code is blessed with talent creative enough to salvage the usable elements of Brown's intriguing premise and prop up his weak points to watchable levels. Director Ron Howard, Academy Award winning screenwriter Akiva Goldsman, and star Tom Hanks are such professionals that even Dan Brown's tiresome, predictable clichés become relatively captivating mysteries.

Tom Hanks stars in the Da Vinci Code as Professor Robert Langdon. A Symbology expert, Professor Langdon is in Paris promoting his book when he is picked up by the Paris police. Taken to the world famous Louvre museum, Robert's help is sought in the investigation of the death of the museum's curator Jaques Saurniere (Jean-Pierre Marielle).

Langdon was to have a meeting with Saurniere while in Paris but as he tells police investigator Bezu Fache (Jean Reno), Saurniere never showed. What Langdon does not know is that Fache already has a suspect in the case, Langdon himself. The body found in the grand gallery amongst some of the world's greatest artistic treasures is surrounded by pagan symbols and clues, that Robert believes he is there to help interpret.

Coming to Robert's aide is a police code breaker, Sophie Neveu (Audrey Tautou). Having observed the evidence at headquarters, Sophie has determined that Fache has settled on Langdon being guilty. She's also figured out that Langdon is very much innocent based on the same evidence. 

Saurniere happens to be Sophie's estranged grandfather. The symbols he left behind, in his own blood as he slowly died, were meant for her but she needs Professor Langdon's help in solving all of the riddles grandpa left behind. This includes a secret passed down through the ages that Saurniere has kept and was in the past the provenance of people such as Victor Hugo, Sir Isaac Newton and Leonardo Da Vinci.

With Sophie's help Langdon escapes the Louvre, with some helpful artifacts from Saurniere and clues from Da Vinci himself. They must follow the clues if they are going to prove Robert's innocence and discover the amazing secret Jaques Saurniere died to protect, a secret that could lead them to the legendary Holy Grail. 

They will also need the help of an old friend of Robert's, conspiracy theorist Sir Leigh Teabing (Ian McKellen). An expert in all things related to the holy grail, Sir Leigh lets Robert and Sophie in on the scope and scale of the mystery they are trying to solve and the tremendous danger that secret threatens to unleash.

Keep in mind, of course, that the real killer of Jaques Saurniere is still out there. Silas (Paul Bettany) an imposing, self flagellating monk of the order of Opus Dei murdered Saurniere to get to the secret himself on behalf of a shady bishop (Alfred Molina). Working in secret for the Vatican, the bishop intends to destroy the holy grail if he gets his hands on it.

But just what is the holy grail? That is a mystery I will leave for you to discover by watching the movie. For storytelling purposes it's simply the McGuffin, that thing as described by Hitchcock, that drives a mystery movie plot. Be it a mysterious brief case, some sort of world killing virus or in this case the holy grail. It's that thing that every character in this kind of film seeks and that some characters will kill for. It's the motivation for chase scenes, gun fights and love stories.

This makes The Da Vinci Code a rather typical movie mystery. The film does indeed have more than a few chases, a few bullets fired and the makings of a minor love story. The Da Vinci Code is a conventional thriller except that it's driving force happens to be rather controversial.

Writer Dan Brown spins an outlandish tale that calls into question the divinity of Jesus Christ and spins a fantastical story of a Vatican cover up, the holy grail, and a secret society call the priory of scion whose membership reads like history's hall of fame.

It's a terrific story that in his book Brown drowns out with droning dialogue and a highly predictable murder mystery. The challenge to the filmmakers was to remain faithful enough to satisfy the millions who managed to fight through the books clichés while patching Brown's many plot holes.

Writer Akiva Goldsman does what he can to repair the books worst aspect, the dialogue. Cleaning up Brown's dense, halting prose, Goldsman cuts to the quick. This at times leaves people who haven't read the book in the dark but keeps the film from having to be four hours long to explain all of the various details. At 2 hours and 30 minutes, the film is long and filled with a lot of dialogue but we can thank Goldsman for getting the films many jargon filled conversations moving.

Also thank Ron Howard for keeping things moving as well. Only pausing when he absolutely has to, Howard keeps the film humming along with chase scenes, narrow escapes and tantalizing historic scenery from Paris to London. There was no way that even talents like Howard and Goldman could plug the many holes in the convoluted Da Vinci Code plot but they are blessed with a dream cast who allow us to relax and forget about many of those rather large holes.

Tom Hanks with his friendly, aw shucks charm is always an inviting screen presence. He's become an old reliable friend on screen and no matter how implausible the plot may be you want to follow along just to hang out with our buddy Tom Hanks.

Ian McKellen may not be our pal like Tom but playing a charming English eccentric, McKellen is perfectly at home and highly entertaining. His Sir Leigh Teabing has some of the more lengthy and difficult dialogue in the film but who better than the classically stage trained englishman to deliver even the most tedious monologues. His grand accent alone is enough to lull you into believing the fantastic lies he spins.

The Da Vinci Code is no groundbreaking adventure in the way Indiana Jones was but it's not the stultifying borefest that was National Treasure. It falls somewhere in the entertaining but forgettable middle ground of those two similar adventures. Good enough for me to recommend to fans of mystery, fans of the book and especially fans of our old pal Tom Hanks.

Movie Review Angels and Demons

Angels and Demons (2009) 

Directed by Ron Howard

Written by David Koepp, Akiva Goldsman

Starring Tom Hanks, Ewan McGregor, Ayelet Zurer, Stellan Skarsgard 

Release Date May 15th, 2009 

Published May 14th, 2009 

Dan Brown is the Stephanie Meyer of the conspiracy set. He may not have vampire teens but, he has an equally easy reading, mass appeal quality. Where Meyers adds faux Shakespearean dreariness to Vampire tropes, Brown takes the well worn ideas of the tinfoil hat set and adds suspense and complicated dialogue to create a worldwide phenomenon that millions love because the implied complexity of puzzles makes you feel smart.

Angels & Demons is, curiously, a sequel to 2005's worldwide blockbuster The Da Vinci Code. Curious because Angels & Demons was actually released before The Da Vinci Code which was its sequel. It doesn't really matter; if you check your Summer blockbuster for continuity or a modicum of good sense, summer movies likely aren't for you.

Tom Hanks returns in the role of Harvard Symbology Professor Robert Langdon. As if to show you how awesomely convoluted his stories are, Brown invented an entire field of study. Symbology is a thing but it's more commonly known as Semiotics, Symbology is just easier for audiences to understand, the root, symbol, very simple. When last we left Dr. Langdon he had discovered Da Vinci's secret about the Virgin Mary's burial plot.

Now, he's been called to Vatican City where the death of a pope has some wondering if murder were afoot. There is a whole lot of nonsense about the Hadron Collider, a scientist and his daughter, Dr Vittoria Vetra (Ayelet Zurer), Hanks' obligatory sidekick, and the College of Cardinals, but none of it really matters. The crux of Angels & Demons comes down to Tom Hanks running about while various murders are committed at locations only a Symbologist could discover.

Ewan McGregor co-stars as Father Patrick McKenna who could be Langdon's ally or he could be the number one suspect. He could also be a red herring from the casting department. Trust me, once McGregor pulls a devastatingly convoluted bit of skydiving you will not care, either you will have given in to the goofball fun of Brown's low watt conspiring or you will be mid-nap. Stellan Skarsgard also appears in Angels & Demons as the head of Vatican Security and it becomes a red herring contest between he and McGregor. 

I was modestly entertained by how silly and beach read-y Angels & Demons is. Ron Howard is far too talented a director for things to get too far out of whack. Howard, at the very least, keeps the energy level high. As for Tom Hanks, his good guy act is top notch. Hanks can't help but elevate this material as his innate likability can't be dimmed even by the most convoluted and nonsensical of plots. Hanks holds sway over an audience like few other actors are capable of. 

Angels & Demons is mostly harmless popcorn entertainment. At over 2 hours, with multiple twist endings, it definitely overstays its welcome but if you are a fan of Dan Brown, Ron Howard or Tom Hanks you may just be forgiving enough to like Angels & Demons. There is nothing terrifically wrong with the occasional insipid bit of plot nonsense when you have Tom Hanks leading you past the silliness.