Classic Movie Review Judgment Night

Judgment Night (1993) 

Directed by Stephen Hopkins 

Written by Lewis Colick 

Starring Emilio Estevez, Cuba Gooding Jr., Jeremy Piven, Stephen Dorff, Denis Leary 

Release Date October 15th, 1993

Published October 16th, 2023 

The most interesting aspect of 1993's action flick, Judgment Night is how star Emilio Estevez held the producers over a barrel. Estevez is rumored to have been very low on the list of actors that the producers wanted for the lead role of Frank in Judgment Day. Naturally, they were chasing a big star, Tom Cruise. That didn't work so they went to Christian Slater who also passed on the role. The role was then passed on by John Travolta and Ray Liotta before landing at the feet of Emilio Estevez. The production had a small window to actually shoot and complete the film and with that, the studio offered Estevez the role because he was available and so many others said no. And then Estevez asked for $4 million dollars for the role and he got it. 

That's way more interesting than what happens in this dopey urban action drama which posits a mostly empty downtown Chicago a fully dystopian Chicago that is desperately violent but also a ghost town. Four buddies are traveling to the big city from the suburbs in order to attend a boxing event. Frank (Estevez) is joining his best friend Mike (Cuba Gooding Jr), Frank's brother, John (Stephen Dorff), and their obnoxious, pushy, irritating pal Ray (Jeremy Piven) for the trip to the city. 

Because his personality apparently isn't obnoxious enough, Ray decides to scam his way to borrowing a gigantic motor home to take the four friends to the city for the fight. Unfortunately, the group fails to account for Chicago traffic on a night when there is a giant sporting event and they wind up missing the start of the event while trapped on an expressway. With time slipping away, Ray makes an illegal turn and uses an off-ramp to try and sneak around traffic. The group ends up in the dystopian future set of Chicago, unrecognizable to suburban yokels like themselves. 

As the group bickers about being lost, Ray hits a pedestrian with the motor home. Forced to stop by his friends, Ray frets about going to jail as his buddies tend to the injured pedestrian. To say this pedestrian is having a rough night would be an understatement. Not only was hit just hit by a motor home, he'd been shot in the gut just before the accident. Clutching a bag full of ill-gotten cash, the man begs for help and the friends force Ray to try and find a hospital, despite his desire to abandon the injured man and try to avoid going to jail. 

Mike takes over driving and the group is on the run, choosing to try and chase a police car on its way to call. That's when the motor home is struck by a car and forced off the road. The motor home finally comes to rest trapped between two buildings. The men in the car that hit them turn out to be gangsters led by Fallon (Denis Leary). They break open the back of the motor home to snatch the injured man and they kill him. They then want to kill the witnesses to that killing and set off after our suburban commandos who rush off into those famously empty Chicago streets. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Demolition Man Take 2

Demolition Man (1993) 

Directed by Marco Brambilla 

Written by Daniel Waters 

Starring Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, Sandra Bullock, Nigel Hawthorne, Benjamin Bratt, Denis Leary

Release Date October 9th 1993

Published October 11th, 2023 

Demolition Man is a desperate, sad, and pathetic attempt by Sylvester Stallone to cast himself as the 'cool guy.' There was this character archetype of the 80s and 90s, one pioneered by Eddie Murphy, for the most part. It's a character who is the smartest, funniest, coolest guy in any room that he's in. I call these characters Bugs Bunny types. Bugs Bunny was always one step ahead of whoever he was on screen with. Bugs was never the subject of the joke, he was the one delivering the punchline. No one got over on Bugs Bunny, he always came out on top by being funnier, smarter, and more dynamic than anyone else on screen. 

Whether Eddie Murphy was aware of it or not, his Beverly Hills Cop persona is an R-Rated version of a Bugs Bunny archetype. Axel Foley is Bugs Bunny. He's always three steps ahead of everyone in a scene. Axel is the funniest, smartest, and wittiest person in every moment. No one can keep up with Axel or Bugs Bunny and no one is allowed to get one over on Axel or Bugs Bunny. There is an element of the archetypal Simpson's character Poochie in Axel Foley as in the few moments that Axel is off screen, everyone has to be talking about Axel and wondering what he's doing at that moment. 

I don't mean this to demean Eddie Murphy or his performance as Axel Foley, it's merely an observation. Being like Bugs Bunny is a solid compliment. There is also the matter of coming timing and instinct that make Eddie Murphy such a comic icon. His bravado, that swagger, it's unlike anyone we've seen in this kind of role. Why am I lingering on Beverly Hills Cop, Bugs Bunny, and Eddie Murphy in a review of Demolition Man? Because Sylvester Stallone wants so badly to be as cool as Eddie Murphy. 

It's very clear that the lead role in Demolition Man was written with someone of Murphy's comic timing and instinct in mind. It's clear that the movie would benefit from having a fleet footed comic voice at the heart of the story. It's also clear that having Sylvester Stallone and his sad, desperate, egotism at the heart of the movie, drags the whole thing down. Stallone is not an actor with strong comic instincts. He's lumbering, he speaks slowly, and he's not cool, no matter how much he might want you to believer it. He's simply not believable as the smartest, funniest, most dynamic guy in any room that he's in. 

Thus, what should be a fast paced action comedy, becomes a flat, lumbering, lumbering, clumsy, testosterone heavy, bloated explosion-fest. In order to frame Stallone as the coolest guy in any room, the rest of the cast is forced to dial back their performances to match Stallone's slow, witless cadence. So, we have a character played by a young and lovable Sandra Bullock who is rendered almost unwatchable as she bravely battles her way through some of the worst dialogue in any movie ever. And you have a remaining supporting cast that is not allowed to have either screen time or presence that might compete with Stallone or make him look any less dynamic than he already appears. 

Only Wesley Snipes is allowed to shine opposite Stallone and thus why Snipes disappears for so much time in Demolition Man. Though Snipes' Simon Phoenix is the big bad of Demolition Man, his colorful villain is kept off screen for lengthy periods of time while the screenwriters desperately try to craft scenes to make Stallone look cool. The world building in Demolition Man might appear, on the surface, to be similar to any other sci-fi movie set in the future. But, look closer, if you do, you can see a series of innovations that are clearly inventions intended to make Stallone appear more relatable and especially cooler than anyone else in the movie. 

One example that stands out as the kind of gag that is written for an Eddie Murphy type comic actor that falls flat as delivered by Stallone, involves bathroom habits of the future. I'd rather not linger on the famed 'three seashells' of Demolition Man, but the gag is one that Murphy would have thrived in riffing on. There would undoubtedly be a fast paced, curse word laden rant that Murphy would riff off the top of his head about the 'three seashells.' In the hands of Murphy, it's a masterpiece of raunchy humor. In the hands of Sylvester Stallone, the bit dies an unmourned death that raises far too many needless questions that distract from the story being told. 

For those that aren't familiar with Demolition Man, the story goes that Sylvester Stallone is John Spartan, a cop in 1996 Los Angeles. Spartan is a good cop who plays his own rules, a classic cliche of 80s and 90s action movies. John Spartan has been given the awkward moniker, Demolition Man, because his style of being a cop involves a remarkable level of property damage and death. In pursuing the violent criminal gang leader, Simon Phoenix (Wesley Snipes), Spartan is accused of getting a group of hostages killed and Spartan himself is convicted and placed in a cryo-prison. 

Frozen inside a giant ice cube, John Spartan is sleeping his life away until 2036 when his old nemesis, Simon Phoenix escapes from the same cryo-prison under strange circumstances. In 2036, there is no crime, no music, no salt, no sugar, and society is a pristine, plasticized bore. The Police still exist but they don't have much to do. Thus, when Simon Phoenix commits the first murders in more than 30 years, no one in the Police Department is prepared to deal with his level of violence. A young cop named Lenina Huxley offers an unusual solution, thaw out legendary cop John Spartan, reinstate him to the Police and have him track down Simon Phoenix. 

That's the plot of Demolition Man and there are the building blocks of a good idea in there. It's a classic fish out of water scenario in which a man from a different time suffers comical culture shock in a future he doesn't understand. It's a premise rife with easy culture clash gags that might be elevated by a comic mind like Eddie Murphy. Sadly, with Sylvester Stallone in the lead, the jokes basically devolve to dimwitted observations about how boring the future is without cool stuff we had in the past. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Ice Age The Meltdown

Ice Age The Meltdown (2006) 

Directed by Carlos Saldanha

Written by Jim Hecht

Starring Ray Romano, Denis Leary, John Leguizamo, Josh Peck, Seann William Scott, Queen Latifah

Release Date March 31st 2006, 

Published March 30th, 2006 

When it comes to computer animation, if it's not Pixar it's not brilliant. The fact is -despite the success of Shrek, Shark Tale or Ice Age - no company creates computer animated films like Pixar. All others are merely pretenders feeding at the trough built by Steve Jobs and his company. Because of the empire Pixar created, movies like 2002's Ice Age were made and met with great success. Such success has bred a sequel to that pleasant if unmemorable prehistoric cartoon about ancient animal species coming together to become lifelong friends and learning to survive.

Ice Age: The Meltdown brings our friends Manny The Mammoth (Ray Romano), Sid the Sloth (John Leguizamo) and Diego the saber tooth tiger (Denis Leary) back together on the eve of the end of the Ice Age. While enjoying what they believe is a delicate spring warm up in their little valley, Manny and company discover the glaciers that surround their idyllic home are melting and soon the whole valley will be underwater.

They must lead their tribe of disparate creatures from their home to a mythical ark somewhere in the woods where they can float to safety on higher ground. Poor Manny is dealing with the sad fact that as far as he knows there are no other mammoths in the world. If he dies, his whole species dies with him. Manny however has a big surprise waiting for him.

As the group begins their trek they come across a couple of wiseacre possums (Sean William Scott and Josh Peck) who, while irritating the heck out of Diego, accidentally lead to the discovery of Ellie (Queen Latifah) a beautiful female mammoth with one unfortunate defect. After years of living with possums she has come to believe she is a possum. Manny must lead this new group to safety and along the way try and convince Ellie that she is actually a mammoth like him. He also must learn to come out of his gloomy shell if ever the effervescent free spirited Ellie is going to help him rebuild the mammoth species.

Ice Age 2 plays like a multi episode arc of a cartoon series including commercial breaks. However, instead of commercials we have Scrat the prehistoric squirrel who's sisyphean quest for the ever elusive acorn is by far the films strongest source of comedy. Scrat steals the entire movie with his little 2 and 3 minute segments during which he gains and loses his precious acorn. Scrat likely would not work in a film of his own but in small doses Scrat is minimalist brilliance. Film scholars and philosophers could muse for hours on Scrat's never ending quest for that acorn and the innumerable ways it eludes him.

The final grail-like quest in which Scrat nearly gains the ultimate acorn is a brilliant device that ties Scrat to the main characters. The rest of Ice Age: The Meltdown is pleasant but not all that memorable. The central story is sweet and good natured. The voice actors all do solid work. There is unfortunately nothing that sets Ice Age apart from any other product aimed at children.

The script by Peter Gaulke and Gerry Swallow is not all that clever or original. The gags with Scrat have their unique genius but only in small doses. The animation of Ice Age: The Meltdown is pretty standard stuff for the genre although I am told that animating as much water as is featured in the film was quite an impressive task in terms of the amount of work it took.

The animation pales in comparison to the elegant artistry of just about every film Pixar has ever produced. Trying to compare Ice Age 2 to anything Pixar is like comparing a velvet Elvis to the Mona Lisa. There is literally that much of a noticeable difference between what Pixar does and what everyone else in the computer animation genre is doing.

The bottom line on Ice Age: The Meltdown is that it is inoffensive and easy to watch. Exactly what parents are looking for on a Saturday afternoon with the kids. You won't find anything controversial or really all that memorable about Ice Age The Meltdown. Which is a good thing if you're looking for an electronic babysitter but not so good if, like me, you're looking to be moved intellectually or emotionally.

I recommend Ice Age: The Meltdown to the undiscerning audience. For those of you looking for true stimulation in kids entertainment go back to your Incredibles DVD or Finding Nemo or Toy Story, or.... well you get the point.

Movie Review: The Secret Lives of Dentists

The Secret Lives of Dentists (2002) 

Directed by Alan Rudolph 

Written by Craig Lucas 

Starring Campbell Scott, Hope Davis, Denis Leary 

Release Date N/A 

Published November 25th, 2002 

Campbell Scott is one of those rare actors with an eye for a good script. His deliberateness has made him a darling of the indie scene ever since 1991's Dying Young and 1992's Singles threatened to pigeonhole him as a romantic leading man. His varied roles in films include Big Night, The Spanish Prisoner and last years remarkable if little seen Roger Dodger. For his latest role, Scott has taken yet another chameleon like turn. In The Secret Lives of Dentists, Scott plays a role that is the exact opposite of his role in Roger Dodger but with an equal amount of skill and bravery.

In Secret Lives, Scott is David Hurst, a dentist married to another dentist Dana Hurst (Hope Davis). They live together with three daughters and work together at their family dental practice. Like many marriages, the surface is perfect but simmering beneath is a cauldron of unrequited emotion and misunderstood feelings. As Dana is preparing for a local theater performance, David is being accosted by a difficult patient played by Denis Leary. Adding to David's problems is his youngest daughter who will only stop crying when he is around and refuses her mother.

With all of these distractions, it's not surprising that David is slow to realize his wife's straying affection. Dana is leaving work at odd hours, returning home later than expected and the final clue comes when David visits her backstage at her theater performance and sees her kissing another man. Dana has no idea that he saw her and the balance of the film is David deciding how to confront his wife.

This is not a new story, we've seen numerous takes on this same subject. What is different however is Campbell Scott's measured, intellectual performance and director Alan Rudolph's deft mix of David's inner and outer worlds. Denis Leary is at first a character in reality then he becomes part of David's conscience, functioning as a physical expression of David's unexpressed anger. Who better than the fireball comedian Leary to play rage?

The Secret Lives Of Dentists functions on a psychic level where most films can't. The script by Craig Lucas, adapted from a novella by Jane Smiley, plays out David's psyche with wit and smarts and without the gimmicky feel that usually comes with such a subject. Aside from one dream sequence in which Robin Tunney, David's dental assistant, sings the song Fever while Leary plays the trumpet, the film avoids obvious flights of fancy.

I really loved how the film dealt with David's inner turmoil as it's main story and balanced it with scenes of everyday family life that in reality wouldn't pause for marital crisis. The family in the film has everyday problems goings on. Kids have to get to school and bills have to be paid. And when one of the girls gets the flu, the illness works it's way through the whole family, a very real life relatable moment that would be pushed aside in most films in favor of heightened melodrama. Here, this detail is a reminder of all of the things constantly competing for everyone's attention. 

This is a terrific cast, Campbell Scott particularly. In a role that is a polar opposite of last year’s Roger Dodger, Scott shows range that his father, the legendary George C. Scott, would envy. The knock on Campbell Scott early in his career was that he would never achieve his father's powerful presence. What Campbell doesn't have in presence he makes up for in bravery, range and acting. Roger Dodger should have been his first Academy Award nomination, but it wasn't. Here's hoping that injustice can be made right by nominating him for this role