Movie Review New Best Friend

New Best Friend (2002) 

Directed by Zoe Clarke-Williams

Written by Victoria Strouse 

Starring Meredith Monroe, Mia Kirschner, Dominique Swain, Taye Diggs 

Release Date April 12th, 2002 

Published May 15th, 2002

Earlier this year I lamented what made a talented actress like Dominique Swain take such ridiculously stupid roles as the ones she took in Tart and Smokers. I'm still trying to understand it as here she is in yet another teen-oriented, softcore porno aimed at dirty old men too embarrassed to go for the all out porn. Swain just keeps making the same terrible choices and it's becoming rather embarrassing. 

In ``New Best Friend'' Swain is relegated to a supporting role in service of former “Dawson's Creek” star Meredith Monroe. Monroe is Hadley Weston, rich-bitch sorority girl who with her posse of coked up college idiots goes about corrupting an A student loner played by Mia Kirschner. But just who is doing the corrupting? Alicia Glazer (Kirschner) takes quickly to her new social status, indulging in the alcohol and cocaine filled nights of meaningless sex and stupidity.

All of this unfolds in flashback as Alicia lies in the hospital near death and the local sheriff Artie Bonner (Taye Diggs) investigates her new friends whom he suspects of foul play. The film’s flashback style and narrative is a nod to Citizen Kane crossed with Legally Blonde and Cruel Intentions, a concoction lifted directly from the seventh circle of hell.

Meredith Monroe was wonderful as the sweet but troubled Andie McPhee on “Dawson's Creek.” In New Best Friend, however, she is completely overmatched attempting to play the Shannon Doherty-like uberbitch. Swain meanwhile, is her usual nymphet self, this time throwing in a lesbian scene to satisfy her dirty old men fan club. Her role requires no acting whatsoever; just remove clothes and kiss whomever, be it man or woman.

What in God's name is Taye Diggs doing in this film!?! Diggs is a good-looking, charismatic guy who could play any number of lead roles, but chooses to star in this trash. Taye, do yourself a favor and fire your agent. Diggs must have owed the director of New Best Friend a massive favor, or more likely he's suffered from some sort of blackmail. It's the only reasonable explanation. 

New Best Friend is disgustingly stupid, utterly vapid trash, just perfect for the soft core B-movie market. No matter how bad this movie is, it will rent big and likely make a pretty good profit. Yet somehow we are still the greatest country in the world. I'm giving the film one star as a nod to Taye Diggs and because I loved Monroe on “Dawson's Creek.”

What? Oh, like you've never watched it.

Movie Review Pumpkin

Pumpkin (2002) 

Directed by Anthony Abrams, Adam Larson Broder 

Written by Anthony Abrams, Adam Larson Broder

Starring Christina Ricci, Dominique Swain, Marisa Coughlan

Release Date June 28th, 2002 

Published November 10th, 2002

For anyone who has never been to college or at least visited a college campus, the terms Sorority and Fraternity are likely mere pop culture. In reality, the pop culture treatment of these odd institutions does not do them justice.

Fraternities and Sororities are actually weirder than they have been portrayed. These conformity factories for the elitist culture are a strange mix of depravity and morality. They each combine odd rituals and out of control behavior with a social conscience that includes charity work. One night guys are spanking each other with a wood paddle, the next day they are picking up garbage on the side of the road.

In a Sorority, the rituals aren't as sadomasochistic in nature but just as weird with singing, chanting, dancing and other liturgy. The film Pumpkin has yet another pop culture treatment of the sorority world and its biting wit on the subject makes for one of the funniest movies of the year.

Pumpkin stars Christina Ricci as top sorority gal Carolyn McDuffy. She is the house pep leader and the model for the rushes, the girls trying to get in the sorority. Carolyn and her house leader Julie (Marisa Coughlin) are determined to win S.O.Y, Sorority of the Year. To win they have to show they can do community service so they volunteer to help "special" kids train for an athletic competition. Each member of the sorority is paired with a "special" kid and Carolyn is paired with Pumpkin (Hank Harris).

At first, we believe Pumpkin is both mentally and physically handicapped, he arrives in a wheelchair though he can walk. Pumpkin is immediately dumbstruck by Carolyn who is the most beautiful girl he's ever seen and probably the first he's ever touched. Carolyn wants only to quit her charity work and go back to important things like shopping and spending time with her vapid Ken-doll boyfriend played brilliantly by Sam Ball. 

In a scene that you're ashamed to laugh at, Carolyn attempts to teach Pumpkin how to throw the javelin as Pumpkin tries to find the words to tell Carolyn how he feels. Pumpkin's struggle for words and Carolyn’s embarrassing attempts to understand him makes for very uncomfortable humor. For Pumpkin, it's love at first sight. For Carolyn, it's something she can't comprehend. There is something in Pumpkin's eyes that she has never seen before.

Nothing about Pumpkin is simple, this strange mix of earnest romance and biting satire walks the line between good taste and offensiveness. If you are sensitive about the treatment of the handicapped, you might want to avoid this film. Pumpkin bravely wades into this thorny issue and lets loose a barrage of bad taste humor that, while funny, makes anyone watching just a little uncomfortable.

Pumpkin's shifts in tone from biting satire to earnest romance stretches credibility, leaving the audience to wonder whether to take the film seriously or not. The film wants to be edgy and satirical but also wants you to believe the romance that grows between Carolyn and Pumpkin is for real. Were it not for Ricci's skilled performance and Harris's charismatic willingness to go all the way to every extreme with Pumpkin, the whole film would likely collapse on itself.

Co-directors Anthony Abrams and Adam Larson Broder, each in their directorial debut, walk that line of credibility with bravery and sharpness. Their willingness to trust Ricci and Harris' performances and make it difficult to believe their romance is real is a decision not many directors would have the courage to do. And in the end, to send up everything the movie has built up to with one ingenious line of dialogue is truly brilliant.

What truly makes Pumpkin one of the best comedies of the year was the ability of Abrams and Broder, who also wrote the script, to create a mini-universe for these characters to exist in. By doing that they can control the context of the jokes and are free to take chances. And take chances with a bold comedy that I highly recommend. 

Movie Review Tart

Tart (2001) 

Directed by Christina Wayne 

Written by Christina Wayne

Starring Dominique Swain, Brad Renfro, Bijou Phillips, Mischa Barton, Melanie Griffith

Release Date June 15th, 2001 

Published June 22nd, 2001 

In 1997, at the age of 17, Dominique Swain made an amazing film debut in Adrien Lyne's remake of the Vladimir Nabakov classic Lolita. Swain's performance was universally praised with many critics stamping her as a star of the future. What happened since is anyone's guess, be it poor management or the feeling she has to accept every role she's offered. Since Lolita and her follow up role in John Woo's Faceoff, Swain has been relegated to the straight-to-video market. Her latest straight-to-video feature, Tart, should have gone straight to the garbage.

Swain stars as an outcast girl whose best friend, played by Bijou Phillips, is getting her in constant trouble. After her friend is kicked out of school, Swain befriends a British girl played by Mischa Barton, who is her ticket into her elite private school’s popular clique. Once she begins hanging with the popular kids she gets her dream guy, the big man on campus, played by Brad Renfro. From there the film turns into a community theater version of Cruel Intentions with “too smart for their own good” teens bedding each other, drinking and drugging and generally annoying the hell out of anyone with a brain.

Tart is a mess that makes Rollerball look coherent. Characters appear and disappear and then do things with absolutely no motivation that in the end have no payoff. There are so many pointless scenes that have nothing to do with anything, one being a scene with Swain and Barton sharing a bath together. The scene is all of 20 seconds long and is apparently in the film to appeal to the same dirty old men who rent Tart merely for its video box cover art. The title of the film is absolutely superfluous, there is no reason to call this movie Tart. The only reason the movie is called Tart and Swain is on the cover box with her skirt in the air is to appeal to dirty old men looking for naked teenage flesh. Guess what, there isn't any. HA!

The film's disgustingly exploitative marketing is just that, marketing. The film itself is actually quite tame in the sex department. Why am I spending so much time complaining about the film's marketing and title, because there isn't anything else to talk about. Tart is simply horrid. Bad acting, bad direction from first timer Christina Wayne, bad cinematography, bad sound. The sound is atrocious, there is more dubbed dialogue in the first hour of Tart than in the dubbed version Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

Memo to Dominique Swain, you can turn scripts down, it's not illegal. There is still time for you to turn your career around. So the next time some first time director calls offering you a role opposite Eric Roberts or Craig Sheffer or some other straight-to-video superstar, just say no and then pick up the phone and call John Woo, or Adrien Lyne. I'm sure they have room in their next picture for a prep school daughter in a tiny tartan skirt that you would be perfect for.