Movie Review Maid in Manhattan

Maid in Manhattan (2002) 

Directed by Wayne Wang 

Written by Kevin Wade 

Starring Jennifer Lopez, Ralph Fiennes, Natasha Richardson, Stanley Tucci, Bob Hoskins

Release Date December 13th, 2002 

Published December 13th, 2002 

The romantic comedy is dead!

Or if it isn't it should be.

I'm sorry, I know people love the genre of beautiful stars falling in love in magical ways but the genre’s conventions and cliches have made the genre pass and predictable. That is not to say that romance in film is dead but that Hollywood needs to come up with a different way of presenting it. The Cinderella syndrome begun with 1990's Pretty Woman has to stop.

I realize the Cinderella-Prince Charming dynamic is one that women have fallen in love with but even the most forgiving of female filmgoers must acknowledge the genre's shortcomings. Its predictability, sugary cuteness and desperate reliance on coincidence and misunderstanding are now beyond grating. Case in point, the new Jennifer Lopez-Ralph Fiennes romance Maid In Manhattan, yet another Pretty Woman retread right off the romantic comedy assembly line.

J.Lo stars as Marisa, a maid at an opulent New York hotel, where the rich and famous make their temporary homes. Marisa is a divorced mother of one of those typically precocious romantic comedy kids named Ty, played by Tyler Posey. In typical genre fashion, Ty has a unique quality that will become important in the meeting of the two leads. Tyler loves politics, he loves it so much that as a present his mom buys him copies of the Richard Nixon White House tapes and Ty has memorized the voting record of New York Assemblyman Christopher Marshall (Ralph Fiennes). 

Marshall is staying at the hotel where Marisa works and of course he meets Ty and is impressed with his political awareness. Also staying at the hotel is a flighty rich blonde woman named Caroline (Miranda Richardson) who asks Marisa to return a very expensive outfit for her while she is out for the day. Of course Marisa can't resist the urge to try on the outfit while in the Hotel Suite and wouldn't you know that this is the moment when Ty introduces her to Chris. And what a shock when he mistakes her for a guest instead of a maid and invites her and Ty to come with him while he walks his dog in the park. Of course she could avoid the confusion by just coming clean and admitting the truth but then we wouldn't have a movie.

Of course it wouldn't be a romantic comedy without wacky supporting characters and a scene where the characters and wacky supporting cast dance and sing though no music is playing except that which is on the soundtrack. How do they hear it? They dance and sing and then it's time for a montage of makeovers and dresses, because of course Marisa has a ball to attend.

After all, a movie about a Senator who falls in love with a maid without a mistaken identity plot and a lot of near misses where he almost discovers the truth wouldn't be much of a romantic comedy. These stupid plot developments and false crises are tiresome and insulting to anyone who has ever seen a movie before.

Golly do you think when Chris finds out that Marisa is just a maid he will be upset? Do you think that he will get over it quickly and the two will live happily ever after? Do you think the sky is blue and the Earth is round?

Memo to Jennifer Lopez: What Happened? You were so good in Out of Sight, The Cell and Angel Eyes. In each of those movies you showed real acting chops. This is your third role in a row you have played on autopilot, Wedding Planner and Enough previously. There is hope for you yet but another turkey like this one and you may want to stick with the singing career.

Romance in movies is not dead; it is at the moment merely enslaved by cliché and creative laziness. There are still rays of hope, films like Secretary and Chasing Amy both take elements of traditional romantic comedy then find ways to tweak them and make them new, exciting, intelligent and funny. There is still hope but with each Maid In Manhattan or Sweet Home Alabama that hope dims just a little.

Movie Review The Hot Chick

The Hot Chick (2002) 

Directed by Tom Brady 

Written by Tom Brady, Rob Schneider 

Starring Rob Schneider, Rachel McAdams, Anna Faris, Matthew Lawrence, Eric Christian Olson 

Release Date December 13th, 2002 

Published December 13th, 2002 

To call a Rob Schneider movie juvenile and stupid is like looking at the sky and saying it's blue or saying water is wet. When you go see a Rob Schneider movie, you have to expect low-grade humor aimed at the 14-year-old-male demographic. Expect there to be a multitude of fart jokes, and various other references to bodily functions. There will also be genuinely funny moments and a cameo by Adam Sandler. So far, this formula has yet to yield an entertaining picture, but with the small number of laughs culled from his latest effort, The Hot Chick, the potential for a truly funny movie exists.

In The Hot Chick, a gorgeous high school cheerleader named Jessica (Rachel McAdams) rules her school with a scathing wit and disregard for her classmates' feelings. Jessica's life is perfect: she is head cheerleader, likely to be the prom queen, and she is in love with the star quarterback (Matthew Lawrence). Of course, karma has it in for this chick and it strikes when she steals a pair of ancient earrings from an unusual shop in the mall. The earrings' backstory, explained at the beginning of the film, is that they belonged to a woman who was promised into a marriage she did not want. 

Therefore, she uses the earrings' mystical power to trade bodies with a peasant girl. After Jessica loses one of the earrings and it is found by a petty criminal named Clive (Schneider), she wakes up in Clive's body and vice versa. Desperate for help, she seeks out her best friend April (Scary Movie's Anna Faris) for help. Not surprisingly April doesn't believe the strange man in front of her is her best friend but after some intimate details are shared, April realizes that this is indeed Jessica.

We have seen this set up before. In fact, in the 1980s, the body switching stuff was a genre unto its own. Anyone remember Kirk Cameron and Dudley Moore in Like Father Like Son or Judge Reinhold and Fred Savage in Vice Versa or George Burns and Charlie Schlatter in 18 Again? (And the list goes on and on.) Schneider and his co-writer/director Tom Brady do not do anything to improve upon this lame genre; merely adding gross-out jokes is not my idea of improvement. Still, Schneider's game performance has its moments, and McAdams really shines as the bitchy cheerleader.

The Hot Chick is not a very good movie but it's not nearly as bad as your average Schneider/Sandler offering. It's slightly tamer than anything he's done before, and it has some genuinely funny moments; not nearly enough laughs for me to recommend it, but not so bad as to be avoided at all costs.

Movie Review: Drumline

Drumline (2002) 

Directed by Charles Stone III 

Written by Tina Gordon Chism

Starring Nick Cannon, Zoe Saldana, Orlando Jones, Jason Weaver

Release Date December 13th, 2002 

Published December 10th, 2002

Every year Grambling University plays a football game against Southern University. The game is notable because it is played in the Louisiana Superdome and airs nationwide on Black Entertainment Television. And even when Grambling was coached by the legendary Eddie Robinson, the winningest coach of a black college team in history, the huge crowds did not come for the football; they came to see the halftime show. The showdown between these two amazing talented bands is worth the price of admission--even if you're not a football fan.

At many traditionally black colleges, the halftime show, where the bands take the field for precisely choreographed musical mayhem that mixes traditional marching band music with modern hip hop and dance, is as highly anticipated as the game itself is. Yet, the movie Drumline--made as a tribute to this unique phenomenon--fails to capture the obvious spirit and emotion that drives it.

Nick Cannon, star of his own Nickelodeon TV variety show, stars in Drumlineas Devon, a cocky freshman drummer who is joining the legendary marching band at fictional Atlanta A&T; University. From the moment Devon steps on campus, his attitude starts rubbing people the wrong way--especially the upperclassman who is the leader of the bands famed drumline, Sean (played by Leonard Roberts.) Soon, the two headstrong drummers are at each other's throats and their pettiness does not go unnoticed by the schools bandleader, Dr. James Lee (former Seven-Up spokesperson, Orlando Jones.)

Soon, Devon's attitude and battle with Sean leads him to be kicked off the team. All the while, Devon has a budding relationship with a dancer named Laila (Zoe Saldana). That relationship is also affected by Devon's problems in the marching band.

It's not long before Devon is reformed and begins to work his way back into the band in time for the battle of the bands. In true sports movie fashion, Drumline comes down to a one-on-one showdown between A&T; and their crosstown rivals, Morris Brown University. (In reality, Morris Brown is a real college with one of the most sensational marching bands in the country.)

The marching band competition is staged well, despite its fictional origins. Watching the amazing choreography and skill of the bands is a treat, but the film as a whole is a pale imitation of the sports movie cliches many critics claim it defies. The fact is that this is another Rocky-esque movie where people overcome great odds to succeed on a big stage. Drumline is like a sports movie without the sports.

The film's biggest problems are its lead performances by Cannon and Jones. Cannon isn't a bad actor but his character is so intensely obnoxious and unlikable, I can't imagine wanting to watch a film about him. As for Jones, something has always bothered me about him as an actor and Drumline exposes that something. There is something in Jones' voice, an affectation that makes every word out of his mouth seem insincere. In Drumline, he is called on to deliver some very straight, very earnest dialogue, but that vocal affectation of his makes him impossible to take seriously.

Drumline is a well-crafted film and a marginally entertaining one when the action is focused on the bands performing. However, everything that happens around performances is all dull cliche and wrongheaded character development. I would recommend it only for hardcore band geeks.

Movie Review: About Schmidt

About Schmidt (2002) 

Directed by Alexander Payne 

Written by Alexander Payne, Jim Taylor

Starring Jack Nicholson, Hope Davis, Dermot Mulroney, Kathy Bates, 

There have been a few times in Jack Nicholson's career where the image of Jack, the iconic ladies man, Laker fan Jack, the famous image, overcame the actor Jack Nicholson. Films like Wolf and even his role as The Joker in Batman showed Nicholson mugging for the camera and playing off his image rather than his talent. Then, in the early 2000’s, Nicholson seemingly set out to destroy ‘Jack’ the image and return to Jack the Actor. The Pledge, one of the best films of 2001, showcased Nicholson in a role stripped of any glamour or vanity. The Pledge is a slow boil performance that is both subtle and heartbreaking. And in About Schmidt, Jack goes for yet another unglamorous, though more mainstream, role as an aging retiree trapped in a life unlived.

As Warren Schmidt, Nicholson is a 66-year-old insurance company actuary. It’s a job Warren tells us has endowed him with the ability to determine just how long people will live. Thus, Warren is well aware of his own mortality as he sits at his retirement dinner with his wife of 42 years played by June Squibb. 42 long years, 42 very, long, years. As Warren describes in a very funny voiceover: “Who is this old woman in my bed?”

Warren and his wife have one daughter, Jeannie (Hope Davis) who is soon to be married. Though he is not allowed to say anything about the wedding by his domineering wife, Warren secretly hates his daughter’s fiance, played by Dermot Mulroney. This isn't your typical ‘no man is good enough for my daughter hatred.’ As Warren introduces his daughter’s fiance, in his voiceover, we are quick to see just what a real doofus this guy is.

Now retired with little to do Warren spends his days with crossword puzzles and watching TV. While flipping channels he comes across one of those child-reach infomercials where some celebrity tells you that for 22 dollars a month you can feed a starving child. Warren, for some reason, likely boredom, writes down the phone number, and is soon doling out the cash and writing letters to a six year old African boy named Ndugu.

The voiceover narration in About Schmidt comes from the letters Warren writes to Ndugu, and just hearing Nicholson open a new letter with the words "Dear Ndugu" provides the funniest and saddest moments of the film. Nicholson’s rye recognition of how he’s really talking to himself 

It is not long after Warren retires that his wife passes away, leaving Warren with an empty house and a newly purchased Winnebago in his driveway that his wife had purchased to drive cross country for their daughter's wedding. Taking to the road, Warren's adventures including a sad, tragic meeting with a couple of fellow RV drivers that is a terrific diversion from the main story. The film however gains it's true narrative thrust when Warren arrives for his daughter's wedding and ends up staying with the groom's mother Roberta (Kathy Bates). Her full on personality is immediately at odds with Warren's quiet dignity. A scene where Warren and Roberta share time in the hot tub is pure comic bliss that shows Nicholson at his slow boiling best.

Director Alexander Payne is a true pro, a visionary comic auteur that deftly combines realism and comedy. About Schmidt is filled with moments of warmth and humor that never seem fake. Thanks to one of the best scripts, casts and directors of any film in the last year.

Movie Review: Empire

Empire (2002) 

Directed by Franc Reyes

Written by Franc Reyes

Starring John Leguizamo, Peter Sarsgard, Denise Richards, Sonia Braga, Isabella Rossellini 

Release Date December 6th, 2002 

Published December 6th, 2002 

When Universal Pictures bumped Empire from its original mid-March release to the highly-competitive December marketplace, many scratched their heads. The only conclusion that could be drawn from such a bold move was that Universal must have been very confident in this urban drama starring John Leguizamo. In fact, rumors persisted that Universal would begin a "For Your Consideration" (Oscar) campaign for the comedian-turned-serious-actor. However, after seeing Empire, I'm not sure that Universal's confidence is well placed.

In Empire, Leguizamo stars as Victor Rosa, a drug dealer with his own brand of heroin that he calls empire. Victor and his crew, including rapper Treach from Naughty By Nature, run a certain section of the Bronx that has been set aside for them by the city's leading drug supplier, La Columbiana (Isabella Rosselini). There are several rival dealers in the Bronx, all of whom get their supply from La Columbiana, and all of whom have their own part of town in which to work. When those boundaries are crossed, even by just twenty feet, violence ensues and someone will get hurt. As Victor explains in voiceover, thirty feet of street corner can mean thirty grand a week.

In Victor's other life, he is living with his college student girlfriend Carmen (newcomer Delilah Cotto). Carmen is aware of Victor's business, and so is her disapproving mother, played by Sonya Braga. Lately, things have been affecting Victor more and more, After something terrible happens to the small child of a rival, Tito (played with surprising charisma by rapper Fat Joe), Victor begins to wish there was a way out.

Then, through Carmen's friend Trish (who is played with eternal vapidity by Denise Richards), Victor meets an investment banker named Jack (Peter Sarsgaard). At first, the two seem friendly and Jack seems to honestly admire Victor's entrepreneurial spirit. Of course, when money gets involved, and we are talking millions of dollars, betrayal can't be far behind.

As the trailer reveals, Jack steals Victor's money, which Victor stupidly takes to him in cash. What is surprising is, despite the trailer, the film frames Jack's betrayal of Victor as a big twist as if the audience couldn't see it coming. Even without the over-explanatory trailer, Empire's plot clips along so mechanically its ending becomes obvious with more than 45 minutes remaining in the film.

At least Leguizamo doesn't suffer too badly from the poor scripting. Since his electric performance in Spike Lee's criminally underappreciated Summer Of Sam, I have been waiting for Leguizamo to get a major dramatic role. He would have had it in Empire if the film as a whole were as good as his part was. As it is, add another line to John Leguizamo's resume and wait for his next chance, because I guarantee there will be another one. And don't be surprised if, next time, we are touting Leguizamo for an Oscar. 

Movie Review: Adaptation

Adaptation (2002)

Directed by Spike Jonze

Written by Charlie Kaufman

Starring Nicolas Cage, Meryl Streep, Chris Cooper, Tilda Swinton, Brian Cox 

Release Date December 6th, 2002 

Published December 6th, 2002 

Originality is a lost art in modern Hollywood. Many people would tell you that everything has been done, and, well, they are right to a point. That is where Charlie Kaufman and Spike Jonze come in. They take a simple setup and make it original, fresh and funny. Being John Malkovich was a wild, literal, head trip of originality and humor. Now, their new film Adaptation moves the head trip inside the mind of the writer himself. In Adaptation, Kaufman writes himself into his own screenplay and the result is a film unlike anything Hollywood has ever seen.

I spoke before of originality and interestingly enough that is where the film begins. Kaufman, as played by Nicholas Cage, is wondering to himself if has an original thought in his head as he sits at a movie pitch meeting. A studio executive, played by Tilda Swinton, is offering Kaufman the opportunity to adapt the studio's latest acquisition a book called "The Orchid Thief."

Right off the bat this could have been a scene from Robert Altman's The Player with a studio executive spouting off about how this book is going to be the studio's big prestige picture, and, indeed, the book itself sounds like a Hollywood creation. However, "The Orchid Thief" is a real book by a real author and writer for The New Yorker magazine--Susan Orlean. And, in reality, Charlie Kaufman was asked to adapt "The Orchid Thief" for the screen. We are merely in the first scene and already the film is twisting reality in knots.

We flashback from there to Susan Orlean--as played by Meryl Streep--as she researches the story of John Laroche, a real-life orchid hunter played in the film by Chris Cooper, in an Oscar-courting performance. A story in the newspaper about a guy and three Indians arrested in the Florida wetlands for poaching flowers catches Orlean's eye and she is soon in Florida meeting Laroche with the intent of writing about him in The New Yorker. The article became the book and was then snapped up by a movie studio to be made into a film.

Cut back to Charlie, who explains that he doesn't want to make this a Hollywood thing, and wants to write a film that does justice to the book. The book, however, is mostly about orchids and has no real cinematic arc. Charlie has no idea what to write, and his problems will strike a chord with anyone who has ever attempted to write something. Rewards and punishments. Excuses for writing and not writing. How the mind tends to wander off when you know you have to write something but can't. 

As I write this review I'm going on almost four days since I saw the movie; not exactly a good quick turn around. I sit and stare at the computer alternately tapping out my review in my strange hunt and peck typing style that drives my girlfriend up the wall. I write a paragraph and then wonder if my laundry is done. Another sentence and wonder if I should get a bottled water or make soup. Then I realize that I have unconsciously written myself into a review of a movie about a writer who writes himself into his own screenplay. 

Adaptation will do that to you as it twists inside itself and torturously weaves reality and fiction. Kaufman does an amazing mixing job, using real people like Orlean and Laroche and even the cast of his previous film, Being John Malkovich, and then creating a fictional twin brother who acts as his onscreen id.

Cage plays both brothers, both a technical and acting feat pulled off to perfection. Donald Kaufman seems to be the antithesis of everything Charlie stands for. Donald is a lazy layabout with an ease with woman and self image far healthier than it maybe should be. Charlie is both disgusted by Donald and envious of him. They are two sides of the same coin. Donald one day announces that he too is going to be a screenwriter and with the help of a screenwriting coach played by Brian Cox, writes a typical Hollywood schlock thriller and sells it for a million dollars. 

My impression of Donald is that he and Charlie are actually the same person and that Donald allows Charlie to express how easy it would be for him to buy into the Hollywood system. Donald's amazingly bad script is riddled with everything intelligent people despise about modern Hollywood, but, on further examination, the plot mirrors the same dynamic that plays out in Adaptation. I don't want to spoil it. You have to make the connection on your own.

Lost in all the madness onscreen is director Spike Jonze who craftily loses himself behind the camera, putting all the focus on Kaufman. It is Jonze's steadiness that draws this wildly-out-of-control film together. Jonze and Kaufman litter the film with tiny details that will have you going back to see it repeatedly.

My review is finished now I can go eat, but I better check my laundry first. Hey I wonder what's on TV.

Movie Review: They

They (2002) 

Directed by Robert Harmon

Written by Brendan Hood 

Starring Ethan Embry, Laura Regan, Marc Blucas, Dagmara Dominicyzk

Release Date November 27th, 2002

Published November 28th, 2002 

Wes Craven is one of the masters of the horror genre, having created a character that is likely the most enduring villain in horror history—Freddy Krueger. Recently though, the successful Scream franchise notwithstanding, Craven has taken a relaxed role in the filmmaking process; that of Executive Producer. It seems that the horror master will attach his name to anything: the horrendous Wishmaster series, Mind Ripper, and most recently Wes Craven Presents Dracula 2000. I can't be the only horror fan who sees Craven's name attached to a film and assumes he is directing it. However, more often than not, when you see the title Wes Craven Presents, it's actually someone else's film.

Still, when I saw Craven's name attached to the horror film They, I was fooled into thinking it could be another great horror film. Then, as I watch the credits, I find the film was actually directed by Robert Harmon whose previous work includes the TV movie Gotti and the Jean Claude Van Damme opus Nowhere To Run. Needless to say, I was disappointed.

Unknown actress Laura Regan is Julia who, with a friend played by Scary Movie's Jon Abrahams, shared what they called "night terrors' ' (not nightmares, "night terrors"). After her friend kills himself in front of her, Julia meets two friends he made in college who also had "night terrors." Ethan Embry (slumming since his funny turn in 1995's Empire Records) and Dagmara Dominicyk (the freaky publicist from Rock Star) are Sam and Terry. Also part of the story is Julia's boyfriend Paul, played by Mark Blucas who should know better about good horror content having spent a season on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Once the characters are introduced, it doesn't take much to predict who die next. Julia is the lead character so obviously she will survive (at least until the end.) This leaves Terry and Sam to wander off by themselves and die, leaving Julia to fend for herself and for her boyfriend to just think she is crazy until it is time for him to be a maybe be a hero. Whether he actually does play the hero I will not say. I wouldn't want to spoil what remarkably little suspense there is in They.

So what are "They"? From what I could ascertain "They" were giant black grasshoppers that only came out at night and hated any kind of light except the ambient light necessary to light a scene. Wes Craven should be ashamed of himself for slapping his name on any dog of a movie that Miramax/Dimension wants to call horror. Let the movie, They,  be a warning to future filmgoers that just because a film has a quality name on it, it doesn't guarantee a quality film.