Movie Review: They

They (2002) 

Directed by Robert Harmon

Written by Brendan Hood 

Starring Ethan Embry, Laura Regan, Marc Blucas, Dagmara Dominicyzk

Release Date November 27th, 2002

Published November 28th, 2002 

Wes Craven is one of the masters of the horror genre, having created a character that is likely the most enduring villain in horror history—Freddy Krueger. Recently though, the successful Scream franchise notwithstanding, Craven has taken a relaxed role in the filmmaking process; that of Executive Producer. It seems that the horror master will attach his name to anything: the horrendous Wishmaster series, Mind Ripper, and most recently Wes Craven Presents Dracula 2000. I can't be the only horror fan who sees Craven's name attached to a film and assumes he is directing it. However, more often than not, when you see the title Wes Craven Presents, it's actually someone else's film.

Still, when I saw Craven's name attached to the horror film They, I was fooled into thinking it could be another great horror film. Then, as I watch the credits, I find the film was actually directed by Robert Harmon whose previous work includes the TV movie Gotti and the Jean Claude Van Damme opus Nowhere To Run. Needless to say, I was disappointed.

Unknown actress Laura Regan is Julia who, with a friend played by Scary Movie's Jon Abrahams, shared what they called "night terrors' ' (not nightmares, "night terrors"). After her friend kills himself in front of her, Julia meets two friends he made in college who also had "night terrors." Ethan Embry (slumming since his funny turn in 1995's Empire Records) and Dagmara Dominicyk (the freaky publicist from Rock Star) are Sam and Terry. Also part of the story is Julia's boyfriend Paul, played by Mark Blucas who should know better about good horror content having spent a season on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Once the characters are introduced, it doesn't take much to predict who die next. Julia is the lead character so obviously she will survive (at least until the end.) This leaves Terry and Sam to wander off by themselves and die, leaving Julia to fend for herself and for her boyfriend to just think she is crazy until it is time for him to be a maybe be a hero. Whether he actually does play the hero I will not say. I wouldn't want to spoil what remarkably little suspense there is in They.

So what are "They"? From what I could ascertain "They" were giant black grasshoppers that only came out at night and hated any kind of light except the ambient light necessary to light a scene. Wes Craven should be ashamed of himself for slapping his name on any dog of a movie that Miramax/Dimension wants to call horror. Let the movie, They,  be a warning to future filmgoers that just because a film has a quality name on it, it doesn't guarantee a quality film.