Movie Review Chevalier

Chevalier (2023) 

Directed by Stephen Williams 

Written by Stefani Robinson 

Starring Kelvin Harrison Jr., Samara Weaving, Lucy Boynton, Martin Csokas 

Release Date April 21st, 2023 

Published June 13th, 2023 

To talk about why Chevalier doesn't work, I need to talk about the ending. Now, since this movie is based on the true story of Joseph Bologne, Chevalier de Saint-Georges, his French title, I don't think this is a spoiler alert situation. Besides that, the fate of the main character is not part of the ending of the movie, that's handled with some clumsy text that ties up the life of the Chevalier de Saint-Georges in a tidy bow and explains why he went unrecognized and little known for so many years. Thus, I don't consider this a spoiler. But, if you disagree, you have now been warned. 

The ending of Chevalier, starring Kelvin Harrison Jr. as Joseph Bologne, famed composer and former friend and confidante of Queen Marie Antoinette, is set at a concert performance. Bologne is set to perform a piece that has a title intended to support the French Revolution, the bloody battle that will bring down Joseph's former friend, Marie Antoinette, played by Lucy Boynton. After being warned by the Queen that she will destroy him, take away his title, and ruin him professionally, Bologne wastes no time being conflicted, he immediately takes the stage and begins to perform this fiery piece of music. 

The Queen responds with unsurprising disdain, she sends her top General, a bullying Aristocrat named Montalamare (Martin Csokas) into to the concert to arrest and or execute the Chevalier. The crowd intervenes to save their favorite composer who briefly stops the show to confront the General. Then, Bologne waves his hand, indicating for his symphony to continue playing. But, after doing this, the Chevalier leaves. Walking out of the concert, the Chevalier passes by the fleeing Queen with a defiant glare and then, in slow motion, he walks off and text takes care of the rest of his life. 

That slow motion walk is a very silly moment. Contextually, Bologne has just started his concert. He has a large and excited crowd that came to see him perform. Yes, he is almost murdered by the General, I'm sure that was hard for him, and reason enough to leave and end the show. But, he appears to be unfazed by this near-death experience. He's perfectly calm and cool as he walks out of his just begun concert performance. The Chevalier then smirks his way past the fleeing Marie Antoinette, and segues into a slow motion walk to the camera. 

But, question, where the hell is he supposed to be going? The concert just started. Where is he going? I imagine that the filmmakers were thinking 'and then he walks into history' or some such nonsense. The self-congratulatory tone of this sequence comes off as very, very silly. The character just seems like an oddball who will have to sheepishly walk his way back to the theater to finish the concert, perhaps. Or, he's just going home to, I don't know, take a nap? He's going to a bar to get drunk while others finish his concert or spill into the street to yell obscenities at the Queen. 

Regardless of wherever this film version of Bologne's life is headed, the movie has rendered him as a joke. By trying so desperately to craft an 'iconic' ending, they've managed to make their star and his character seem very silly. It appears that they had no idea how to end the movie and just thought a Baywatch slow-mo to camera walk was the only way to get out of having to portray the actual French Revolution, which Bologne fought in against the crown and ended up leading the first all black battalion of the French Army. 

We only know that because star Kelvin Harrison Jr. is forced to stand in front of the camera in freeze frame as onscreen text informs us of why the Chevalier fell into obscurity. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the Cliff's Notes, I was glad the movie was over, but it doesn't make the silliness of the ending of this otherwise tepid and forgettable biopic any easier to take. I will also grant that a slow-mo walk to camera is an entertaining choice, if not a good one. It marked the first time in the nearly 2 hours of Chevalier that I had an emotional reaction to the film, if not the emotion the movie was seeking. Derisive snorting laughter was, I'm assuming, not the filmmakers intent. 

Movie Review Opening Night

Opening Night (2017) 

Directed by Isaac Rentz

Written by Gerry De Leon, Greg Lisi 

Starring Topher Grace, Paul Scheer, Alona Tal, Anne Heche, Taye Diggs

Release Date June 2nd, 2017 

Opening Night has the kind of scrappy charm that you want out of a musical. It’s shaggy and flawed but it’s also fun-loving and freewheeling. The story of a Broadway stage manager struggling with personal demons from his own seemingly failed Broadway career, the movie may not have the polish of a Hollywood production but it makes up for it with moxie and the can-do spirit of an underdog production with nothing to lose.

Topher Grace (That 70’s Show) stars as Nick, the stage manager for a Broadway production called “One Hit Wonderland.” The show within the movie stars N’Sync’s J.C Chazez, sending up himself with gusto and a hint of poignancy, playing a one hit wonder singer taking a journey that is part A Christmas Carol and part It’s a Wonderful Life. The theme of the musical is the theme of the movie: can someone bounce back after early success becomes a quick failure?

Relative newcomer Alona Tal shines as Nick’s recent ex-girlfriend and chorus girl Chloe who winds up thrust into the lead role opposite Chasez when the show’s lead actress Brooke (Anne Heche) suffers a blow to the head and is accidentally dosed with Ecstacy in one of a couple plots that stumble their way on stage and quickly off without the best possible resolution. I was hoping Heche would be given something more to play here, she hints at depths of sadness in the character, but sadly she ends up a bit of a plot device before a credits scene sendoff that, at the very least, has a funny punchline courtesy of scene-stealing comic Paul Scheer.

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review The Lost Boys

The Lost Boys (1987)

Directed by Joel Schumacher

Written by Janice Fischer, Jeffrey Boam, James Jeremias

Starring Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, Jason Patric, Kiefer Sutherland, Dianne Wiest, Jamie Gertz

Release Date July 31st, 1987

The Lost Boys turns 30 years old this weekend, July 28th, 2017, and the movie has not aged well. While it’s not quite the embarrassment that was the Twilight movies, The Lost Boys is bad in its own unique ways. While nostalgia might cloud fans of the Coreys’ first team up (Haim and Feldman for those aren’t fans of Tiger Beat circa 1987) the reality of The Lost Boys is that director Joel Schumacher is an epically bad filmmaker and teamed with a cast of not ready for primetime teenagers, and a minimal budget, Schumacher’s modest talents are entirely overwhelmed.

The story of The Lost Boys began life as a kid’s adventure movie surrounding the bizarre idea of Peter Pan as a vampire, explaining why he was always a teenager, and attempting to lure Michael, eventually played by non-child Jason Patrick, and his brother Sam (Corey Haim) to become one of his "Lost Boys" hence the title that seems confusing minus the Peter Pan story. The Peter Pan aspect was ditched when director Richard Donner bolted from the project for the chance to direct Lethal Weapon. (Why did they keep the name? It means nothing without… oh never mind.)

In the story, as it plays out in the finished film, Michael and Sam have moved to Santa Carla from Phoenix after their mother, played by Dianne Wiest, divorced her husband and lost her job. They are going to live with their eccentric grandfather, played by the perfectly cast Barnard Hughes, who specialized in playing oddball grandpas. Hughes is one of the many extraneous idiocies of The Lost Boys as his character is little more than a series of creepy, supposedly endearing, quirks that have nothing to do with the plot.

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review The Emoji Movie

The Emoji Movie (2017) 

Directed by Tony Leondis

Written by Tony Leondis, Eric Siegel, Mike White

Starring T.J Miller, James Corden, Patrick Stewart, Anna Faris

Release Date July 28th, 1997

What is there to be said about The Emoji Movie? That’s what I have been asking myself for the more than an hour since I sat down to write this review. This empty, mostly competent, 90+ minute ad for smartphone apps doesn’t inspire much to be written about it. Sure, I could rail against the empty, soulless, mercenary nature of what amounts to app product placement the movie, but I have been shouting into that void since the trailer for the film hit and no one seemed to care then. So, let’s just start writing and see what happens.

The Emoji Movie centers around Gene (Voiced by T.J Miller), a professional "Meh" emoji on his first day on the job in Textopolis, a home for Emoji’s inside a teenager’s phone. Gene’s parents Mel and Mary Meh (Steven Wright and Jennifer Coolidge) aren’t sure Gene is ready for the job of expressing indifference because, unlike other Emojis in Textopolis, Gene is able to perform other Emoji functions beyond just being the face of Meh.

When Gene panics and ruins a text to a girl by making a funny face instead of Meh, he’s set to be deleted as if he were a virus. This leads to Gene having to flee Textopolis with his new pal Hi-5 (James Corden) to find a hacker named Jailbreak (Anna Faris) whom he hopes will be able to reprogram him to be Meh and help Hi-5 get back into the favorites page of his owner’s phone where he was once among the most oft-used Emojis.

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review The Fifth Element

The Fifth Element (1997) 

Directed by Luc Besson

Written by Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen

Starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich, Gary Oldman, Chris Tucker

Release Date May 7th, 1997 

I love the way Luc Besson views the universe. Besson sees the universe in bright bold colors. It’s the way I would like to view the universe. While my mind is often clouded by the often sad and tragic state of humanity, and especially man’s inhumanity to man, Besson manages to look beyond and see the beauty beyond our planet and into the stars.

The best example of how Luc Besson sees the universe, aside from his dazzling yet somewhat empty new film Valerian and the Planet of A Thousand Cities, is the 1997 film The Fifth Element, this week’s classic on the I Hate Critics movie review podcast.

The Fifth Element was well ahead of its time, a sci-fi movie filled with vibrant color, extraordinary costumes, and remarkable, often mind-blowing, special effects and production design.

If only that same vibrancy extended to the characters. You see, for as much as I am dazzled by the spectacle, the visual dynamism of Luc Besson and The Fifth Element, he’s not a director who is particularly interested in characters. Besson, though thoroughly detailed in costumes and set design and special effects, is not a director of actors.

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review La Bamba

La Bamba (1987) 

Directed by Luis Valdez

Written by Luis Valdez

Starring Lou Diamond Phillips, Esai Morales, Joe Pantoliano, Elizabeth Pena

Release Date July 24th, 1987

Somehow, despite having seen the movie La Bamba more than a dozen times in my life, watching the movie on its 30th Anniversary felt brand new. La Bamba was a film of my youth; I was 11 years old when the film hit theaters in 1987. I watched it repeatedly when it was on pay cable and free TV in the later 80’s and 90’s and then the film fell from my memory. You might be wondering how I could have allowed something I must’ve treasured to leave my memories. The answer is more complicated than I had imagined.

La Bamba, the movie, we will get to the song later, tells the story of teenage rock star Ritchie Valens who nearly became a footnote in musical history when he was killed in a plane crash alongside the legendary Buddy Holly and fellow rising star The Big Bopper, on February 3rd, 1959, after having released only 3 hit singles and being a mere 17 years old. Though his popularity was rising in 1959 with people comparing the young Chicano rocker to Elvis, Valens wasn’t nearly the star Buddy Holly was and could have been preserved in history only by his family and community had it not been for this remarkable 1987 biopic.

Director Luis Valdez is a legend in his own right and in his own unique way. Desperate for an outlet for his plays, Valdez approached legendary California union activist Cesar Chavez about creating a theater troupe among the striking migrant workers. Chavez agreed only after Valdez devoted time to union organizing, time which he also took to recruit actors and performers from among the striking union to join him. He founded a troupe called El Treato Campesino, The Farmworkers Theater, which has become the creative home for Mexican Americans of many talents over the past 50 plus years.

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Dunkirk

Dunkirk (2017)

Directed by Christopher Nolan 

Written by Christopher Nolan 

Starring Fionn Whitehead, Kenneth Branagh, Jack Lowden, Barry Keoghan, Harry Styles, Tom Hardy, Mark Rylance, Cillian Murphy

Release Date July 21st, 2017

With The Dark Knight trilogy and Inception, director Christopher Nolan has ascended to that rarefied air of directors who can sell a movie with his name alone. Nolan now stands shoulder to shoulder with fellow relative newcomers J.J. Abrams and Joss Whedon and the original superstar director, Steven Speilberg.

The proof comes with the release of Dunkirk, Nolan's latest film and one with a minimum of star-power, rough, non-commercial subject matter, and a World War II setting that has rarely been the home of four quadrant hits without the back up of major stars like Tom Hanks or John Wayne. If Dunkirk is to succeed it will be the director of Batman who makes it happen.

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media