Horror in the 90s Troll 2

Troll 2 (1990)

Directed by Claudio Fragasso

Written by Claudio Fragasso, Rossella Drudi 

Starring George Hardy, Michael Stephenson, Connie McFarland 

Release Date October 12th 1990 

Box Office Gross 0 

"It's a ferocious analysis of today's society" Rossella Drudi on her script for Troll 2 

That's a real quote from someone who co-wrote the script for 1990's Troll 2. For those aware of the reputation of Troll 2, it's hard not to assume that Drudi is making a joke. I assure you, she is not. The quote comes directly from Drudi in the amazing documentary, Best Worst Movie, a documentary about the rebirth of Troll 2 as a so bad it's good cult classic. Drudi, in a tone that betrays irritation at having to defend her work, actually says, with some conviction, how she views Troll 2. 

Where do we begin with the mess that is Troll 2. From a personal perspective, I have been aware of Troll 2 for years without ever taking the time to actually watch it. I've watched numerous other critics poke hilarious fun at Troll 2 on YouTube and that's really been all the Troll 2 I have ever needed. Troll 2 is far more fun if you watch it with a group of like-minded friends or via the perspective of a very funny YouTube critic who can deliver the gist of the movie in a tight 15 to 20 minute package. 

So, despite feeling as if I have seen Troll 2 via these critics, the words of friends in the bad movie community, and the remarkable documentary, Best Worst Movie, directed by the film's star, Michael Stephenson, this watch, for this project, is actually the first time that I have seen Troll 2 in its entirety. What have I learned? It's about as crazy and deeply misguided as I thought it was. Indeed, dear reader, unless you are going to a Troll 2 party, you never need to actually see Troll 2, everything you already know about it is more than enough. 

Troll 2 follows a family that is engaging a summer home exchange. They are going to stay on a farm in a small Utah town while a family from that town will stay in their home in the 'big city.' The craziness kicks off right away as our protagonist, 10 year old Joshua (Michael Stephenson) is being read a story about evil, human consuming Goblins who roam the forest. The man reading the story is Joshua's grandfather, Seth (Robert Ormsby), a man who happens to be dead. 

We learn this from some of the clumsiest, clunky exposition possible. The poor amateur actors of Troll 2 are a sincere lot but they are fully defeated by a script translated from Italian by a tyrant who was, according to Best Worst Movie, eager to tell his American actors that he knew the way Americans talk better than they did. Claudio Fragasso's comically misguided dedication to preserving the bizarre, though incredibly quotable dialogue, leads to these amateur actors having to try and perform while fighting the very script they are supposed to be performing. 

Director Claudio Fragosso directs Troll 2 as if he were attempting to shame America by presenting Americans as viewed through the lens of the rest of the world. In Fragosso's world, Americans are grotesque weirdoes who engage in bizarre behaviors like Vegetarianism, and engage in a dystopia via a rigid set of expectations that when not met, can lead to murderous chaos. Americans are both the monsters and the victims in Troll 2, so the intentions of Fragosso are more than a bit muddled, but, yeah, that is apparently Fragosso's intention. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

Movie Review Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1

Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1 (2023) 

Directed by Christopher McQuarrie 

Written by Christopher McQuarrie, Erik Jendresen 

Starring Tom Cruise, Hayley Atwell, Simon Pegg, Ving Rhames, Rebecca Ferguson, Esai Morales, Cary Elwes, Vanessa Kirby, Pom Klementieff, Shea Whigham, Henry Czerny 

Release Date July 12th, 2023 

Published July 13th, 2023 

I'd never heard the term Dead Reckoning before. In the opening minutes of the new Mission Impossible franchise entry, titled Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1, they explain the term in the most efficient fashion and it dawns on you just what a perfect title this is for this adventure. It's a little thing, but I absolutely love that level of attention to detail and I appreciated that the movie gave us this information not with a windy info dump but with an offhand comment that explains the context of the term. On a colloquial level, it very simply means to navigate based on limited information on your own location. 

That's a perfect metaphor for where the Impossible Mission Force, headed up by Tom Cruise's super-spy, Ethan Hunt, find themselves. They are navigating a world saving adventure plot with very little knowledge or where they are going next. Every little twist and turn of the plot, every development surrounding the McGuffin, is delivered with precision and in a way that only gives us and these wonderful characters, just enough info to take us the next step. That the McGuffin happens to be a literal Key is quite a fun and clever detail that, again, I absolutely love. 

Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning opens on a Russian Submarine navigating back to Russia after a very successful mission. This mission involved fooling the entire world's worth of submarines and military intelligence. The sub commander explains that his new sub was able to get within mere meters of the most advanced submarines and military ports in the world, completely undetected. It's a game changing piece of technology that would give Russia a grave advantage in any world conflict. I say that it would, if this sub didn't soon wind up at the bottom of the ocean. 

How it got there is the world altering mystery at the heart of Mission Impossible Dead Reckoning Part 1. Ethan Hunt has been given the mission of recovering to halves of a very special key. It's a key that unlocks control of a world altering A.I that may itself be the villain of this movie. With his newly reunited team, including Rebecca Ferguson as Ilsa, Simon Pegg as Benji, and Ving Rhames as Luther, Cruise's Ethan Hunt must recover a key but he doesn't know what this key unlocks or where the lock actually is. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Talk to Me

Talk to Me (2023) 

Directed by Danny Phillipou, Michael Phillipou

Written by Danny Phillipou, Bill Hinzman 

Starring Sophie Wilde, Alexandra Jensen, Joe Bird, Miranda Otto, Otis Dhanji, Zoe Terakes 

Release Date July 27th, 2023 

Published July 12th, 2023 

Talk to Me is a fresh take on the teen horror genre. It's filled with clever, terrifying ideas, and it features a lead performance that is haunting and brilliant. We've been subjected to a lot of bad teen horror movies, movies overflowing with familiar tropes and irritating, repetitive jump scares. Talk to Me has familiar elements but it is elevated via stylish direction, and the precise deployment of violence. The film has jump scares but the pacing is measured to a specific degree so that when the violence ramps up, in one very specific, and completely terrifying scene, it has more impact than if we'd been subjected to repeated violence throughout. 

Talk to Me stars the absolutely incredible Sophie Wilde as Mia. Mia has recently lost her mother to what may have been a suicide, though she is convinced it was an accidental overdose. As happens when such a traumatic event occurs in a family, her mother's death has estranged her from her father, Max (Marcus Johnson), who makes attempts to reach her throughout the movie as the actual plot is unfolding and engulfing Mia's life.

Thankfully, though she is distant from her father, Mia is welcomed into the home of her best friend, Jade (Alexandra Jensen), where she is treated like an extra sibling to Jade's brother, Riley (Joe Bird), and another daughter to Jade's mom, Sue (Miranda Otto). The level of familiarity and comfort in this family dynamic is the foundation for what comes next, the horrific fracturing of this family unit via the horrors that come from, frankly speaking, Mia's poor choices. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review The Firm

The Firm (1993) 

Directed by Sydney Pollack 

Written by David Rabe, Robert Towne, David Rayfiel 

Starring Tom Cruise, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Gene Hackman, Hal Holbrook, Wilfred Brimley, Holly Hunter, David Straithairn, Ed Harris

Release Date June 30th, 1993 

Published July 10th, 2023 

John Grisham was a phenomenon in 1993. He owned the bestseller lists with the rapid fire releases of his easy, breezy legal thrillers. Each story bubbled with melodramatic twists and turns that you legitimately did not want to put down. For a time, Grisham's thrillers were met with the kind of frenzy that has only since been matched by the likes of Dan Brown, Stephanie Meyer, and She Who Shall Not Be Named. In 1993 alone two Grisham novels were adapted into blockbuster movies. 

While we have to wait until December for the joyous pleasure of The Pelican Brief, we first have The Firm, a potboiler of a legal drama surrounding the tumultuous tenure of a young lawyer and his job at a deeply corrupt law firm in Memphis, Tennessee. It's remarkable how easily Grisham's pulpy legalese translates to film without missing a beat. Grisham's style is remarkably detailed and yet wildly cinematic with easy to follow twists and turns that rarely get caught up in things that cannot be easily translated to another medium. It's no surprise that the author designed his thrillers with selling the movie rights in the back of his mind. 

The Firm takes on an extra dimension on the big screen as it is overseen by a masterful director. By this point, Sydney Pollack was winding down his legendary career but when he had good material he could be coaxed back behind the camera and we were lucky to have him class up the pulpy prose of Grisham, dressing it up with one of the most over-qualified casts in movie history. Seven cast-members either had or soon would have an Academy Award nomination, a true murderers row of performers brought to bear on what was already set to be a blockbuster courtesy of Grisham's own ludicrously large fanbase. 

Heading up this Yankee's circa 1932 lineup of performers, Tom Cruise stars in The Firm as Mitchell McDeere, a young lawyer fresh out of law school and highly in-demand. We watch early on as Mitch is courted everywhere from Los Angeles, to Boston, to Wall Street. Least likely among Mitch's many potential employers is a small firm out of Memphis, Tennessee. Bendini, Lambert, & Lock only has around forty lawyers on its roster, unlike the other firms which are teeming with associates. They only want Mitch among his prestigious graduating class and to say he's flattered is an understatement. 

Find my full length review linked here

Movie Review Joyride

Joy Ride (2023) 

Directed by Adele Lim 

Written by Cherry Chevapravataldumrong, Terese Hsiao, Adel Lim

Starring Ashley Park, Sherry Cola, Stephanie Hsu, Sabrina Wu

Release Date July 7th, 2023 

Published July 11th, 2023 

There is a visual gag in Joy Ride that is one of the biggest laughs of 2023. It involves one of the most elaborate and unexpected tattoos ever brought to a film screen. I will not spoil it, but truly, any attempt to describe this gag does not do justice the visual designer who crafted this. I don't know if that was makeup or a CGI design of some sort, whatever it was, it's so funny that I laughed embarrassingly loudly. I laughed so hard that it hurt. My eyes popped open to such a degree that I was concerned. It's just that great of a visual gag. 

It's also a very raunchy, incredibly R-Rated gag and thus why you will have to see it for yourself when you see Joy Ride, a terrifically funny and very R-Rated road trip comedy. The film stars Ashley Park as Audrey, one of the boys, despite being very much a woman, at her boy's club of a law office. With her shot at a partnership on the line, Ashley agrees to travel to China to meet with a client and secure a deal. Not speaking Chinses however, Audrey is forced to bring along her childhood friend Lolo (Sherry Cola). 

Lolo is a loving and devoted friend but also a bit of a chaos demon. The two met as the only two Asian girls at their local park. Shy and reserved Audrey was there with her adopted, white parents who could not be more excited to welcome an Asian couple with an Asian daughter to their neighborhood. Lolo secures their friendship when she punches out a boy who uses a racial slur against Audrey. They've been best friends ever since, even as Audrey has gone on to professional success in the law and Lolo has lived in a guest house nearby while working on being an artist. 

Because of Lolo's inability to say no to her family, the two are being joined on the trip to China by Lolo's deeply odd and ambiguous Cousin, Deadeye (Sabrina Wu). Deadeye is the Zach Galifianakis of this Hangover style comedy, a breakout weirdo with her own movie happening in her head that we only catch glimpses of. The final member of the Joy Ride foursome is Audrey's friend from college, Kat (Stephanie Hsu), now a famous Chinese television actress known for her radiant innocence. Once you know that, you know how that joke is likely to payoff but you won't believe how it pays off. 

Click here for my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review Insidious Chapter 3

Insidious Chapter 3 (2015) 

Directed by Leigh Whannell 

Written by Leigh Whannell 

Starring Lin Shaye, Leigh Whannell, Angus Sampson, Dermot Mulroney, Stefanie Scott 

Release Date June 15th, 2015 

Published July 10th, 2023 

Insidious Chapter 3 is a vastly underrated entry in this terrific horror franchise. All of the Insidious movies have been pretty good but Chapter 3, with Leigh Whannell writing and directing is a low key brilliant horror movie. Whannell is a thoughtful, thorough, and detailed director and he brings that fully to bear on the trim, ingenious scares of Insidious Chapter 3. Stepping out of the shadow of his friend and partner James Wan, Whannell had a lot to live up and Insidious Chapter 3 was proof that he could hang with the best in the genre. 

Insidious Chapter 3 is set several years prior the first Insidious film. The story finds our hero, Elise Rainer (Lin Shaye), a shell of the woman she was when we met her. It's the story of Elise finding herself again following the death of her husband and the threats made against her life by a demonic entity we will eventually come to know as 'The Black Bride." For now, however, Elise pads about in a housecoat and sleeps with her husband's cardigan in a scene so sad I can't stand thinking about it. Elise's stupor is interrupted by the arrival of young woman at her door. 

Quinn Brenner (Stefanie Scott) is desperate to speak with her late mother and she's been referred to Elise as someone who can communicate with the dead. Elise, at first, tries to turn the young woman away but soon relents. What she finds is that Quinn's forays into the world of the dead have communicated with someone, but it is most certainly not her mother. She warns Quinn not to continue contacting her mother but deep down, Elise knows that this vile entity is now attached to Quinn and she's in great danger. 

Insidious Chapter 3 also gives us the origin of Elise's connection to Specks (Leigh Whannell) and Tucker (Angus Sampson). The duo is a pair of ghost hunters who have yet to encounter any actual ghosts. They do however, have advanced equipment that could, potentially, help them find one. Specks and Tucker are called by Quinn's father, Sean Brenner (Dermot Mulroney), at the behest of his son, who saw them on YouTube. Quinn, at this point, has undergone several inexplicable events that have endangered her life so even her skeptical father has to admit, something is going on. 

That's when Elise returns, partners with Specks and Tucker, and the fight to save Quinn from The Further is on. Whannell's talent for pacing, clever ideas for scares, and atmosphere are on full display in Insidious Chapter 3. Whannell has a sense of wonder about his work that I really enjoy. He has a sort of awe for what his characters are doing which feels appropriate. Eventually, this will be a routine for them, but this is there first adventure together and their chemistry is immediately apparent. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Son in Law (1993)

Son in Law (1993) 

Directed by Steve Rash 

Written by Fax Bahr, Adam Small, Shawn Schepps 

Starring Pauly Shore, Carla Gugino, Lane Smith, Tiffani Amber Thiessen 

Release Date July 2nd 1993 

Published July 11th, 2003 

I feel as if I need to apologize to my Everyone's a Critic 1993 co-host M.J. Being a member of Gen-Z, M.J once lived in a world where they were blissfully unaware of the existence of Pauly Shore. Our podcast has ruined that for them. M.J is now fully aware of the existence of the man once known as 'The Weezil,' and they are forever changed by this knowledge. I'm reminded of how I managed to go for over a year of the Baby Shark phenomenon without ever hearing the viral tune, only to have a co-worker destroy minus innocence and torment my mind via a shared office Alexa. 

For M.J, the Everyone's a Critic 1993 Podcast has included learning about a movie star with a confusingly large penis, they've seen not one but two terrible films starring the eminently forgettable actor, Arye Gross, and now, they know of the existence of Pauly Shore thanks to a screening of the movie Son in Law. If they weren't of legal, adult age, honestly, I might be risking arrest for having shown my young friend such horrors in just a mere six months of reflecting on the movies of 1993. 

Son in Law is a blisteringly terrible comedy in which the blindingly obnoxious Pauly Shore inflicts himself on everyone around him. Shore is a whirling dervish of a comic void that sucks in all of the good around him and then returns it all less beautiful, and entirely unfunny. With his irksome comic accent and bizarre language, Shore is what Adam Sandler would be if all of Sandler's characters were variations on Billy Madison. That's a hellscape I don't even want to imagine but there it is. 

The threadbare premise of Son in Law finds Becca Warner (Carla Gugino), a small-town gal from South Dakota, moving to Los Angeles to attend college. Finding herself a small fish in a big pond, Becca becomes completely overwhelmed and plans to give up everything and go home. That's when her new Resident Advisor, Crawl (Pauly Shore), yes, his name is Crawl, you try and figure out why, Crawl steps in to keep her from giving up everything. 

Crawl takes Becca under his obnoxious, oblivious wing, gets her new clothes and a new haircut, and generally treats her like the newest member of a cult. Truly, this is how Nxivm started. The end game of Son in Law is Shore and Gugino being arrested alongside one of the stars of Smallville. Okay, it's just a makeover and a tattoo, but it's still kind of weird how she changes every aspect of her life based on the advice on one weird guy. 

Click here for my full length review at Geeks.Media