Movie Review Malibu's Most Wanted

Malibu's Most Wanted (2003) 

Directed by John Whitesell 

Written by Jamie Kennedy, Nick Swardson 

Starring Jamie Kennedy, Taye Diggs, Anthony Anderson, Blair Underwood, Regina Hall, Bo Derek, Snoop Dogg 

Release Date April 18th, 2003 

Published April 16th, 2003 

I don't want to be mean but for the life of me I can't figure out what Jamie Kennedy has done to earn an over the title credit on a feature film. His career is dotted by a number of direct to video comedies like the dreadful Sol Goode and strange thrillers like Pretty When You Cry opposite Sam Elliott. Huh? He can't still be riding his minuscule success as the film geek in Scream 1 & 2.

It likely stems from the inexplicable success of his TV show, “The Jamie Kennedy Experience.” I use the term success loosely as it's difficult calling any show on the WB network a success. The show which incorporates sketch comedy and warmed over Tom Green street pranks appeals to teenage boys well enough that it makes sense that a marketer might pick up on Kennedy and see a product he can sell. That still doesn't quite explain how Malibu's Most Wanted made it to the big screen but nevertheless here it is.

Kennedy is B-Rad or really just Brad Gluckman, the son of a millionaire candidate for California governor (Ryan O'Neal). Brad fancies himself a gangsta based on his love of the stereotypical culture portrayed in so-called gangsta rap. B-Rad has just returned home to help his dad's campaign by helping to attract black people to the campaign. Brad's ingenious ideas include interrupting a live press conference with a horrible rap and appealing to a conference with female voters with a sign that states "Bill Gluckman is down with the Bitches and the Ho's).

Sensing that Brad is a liability to the campaign, Dad and his campaign advisor (Blair Underwood) conspire to cure Brad of his poseur ways. The idea is to hire a pair of black actors to abduct Brad and teach him what the gangsta lifestyle is really like. As Underwood's character puts it, they will "scare the black out of him.”

The campaign hires Sean (Taye Diggs) and P.J (Anthony Anderson) to play the gangstas. Unfortunately, neither actor knows anything about the hood. In turn, they hire PJ's cousin Shondra (Regina Hall) to help them learn what the hood is like so they can scare Brad.

Everything goes to plan as Sean and P.J kidnap Brad with Shondra as bait and bring him to Shondra's house in what was formerly known as South Central Los Angeles. Sean and P.J play up gangster personas all the while complimenting each other on how authentic their characters are. Diggs and Anderson are the film's main assets and provide the only solid laughs.

The set up works only in short spurts and only in the scenes with Diggs and Anderson who are so good at times they make Kennedy seem like a co-star in his own movie. Indeed a film taken from Sean and PJ's perspective would have been far funnier than what we get in Malibu's Most Wanted. At about the one hour mark of the 80 minute movie, Sean and P.J are shoved into the background in favor of Brad's forced love story with Shondra and another kidnapping, this time by a real gangsta named Tec (Damien Dante Wayans). It is then that Malibu's Most Wanted loses what little humor it generates.

Taye Diggs is one of the smartest actors working today. Sadly, like Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt, his good looks often prevent people from taking his talent seriously. Because of his boy toy role in How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Diggs will forever be typecast in the role of eye candy for drawing women into theaters. This obscures his work which in films as varied as the cheesy horror sendup House On Haunted Hill to the hip hop romance Brown Sugar has shown great wit and an ability to play off of anyone and hold his own. Most recently, Diggs had a terrific guest turn on the TV show “Ed” where he played himself, or rather what Ed thought Taye Diggs would be like if he met him in person.

You could call early 2003 the year of uncomfortable racial humor. There’s been Steve Martin and Queen Latifah in the tepid Bringing Down The House, Chris Rock's caustic political satire Head Of State and now Malibu's Most Wanted. Only Head Of State manages to do something with its racial content with Rock skewing racism from all sides. Bringing Down The House wants to satirize white stereotypes of black culture but lacks the courage to break from a sitcom formula to take on the subject. Malibu's Most Wanted is even less successful because it lacks the insight into Brad's identity to either portray it sympathetically or skewer satirically. Kennedy seems to want it both ways. He wants the audience to sympathize with Brad and also laugh at his over the top antics.

The elements of the sketch comedy character that B-Rad was conceived from don't translate to an 80-minute feature, and without a perspective, either sympathetic or satiric, you’re left with nothing but a confused character and audience. What this film says about Jamie Kennedy as a viable movie star is very little. The marketing campaign may lure people to theaters but the film itself will leave them wondering why they wasted the time to see it.

Movie Review Holes

Holes (2003) 

Directed by Andrew Davis 

Written by Louis Sachar 

Starring Shia LeBeouf, Sigourney Weaver, Jon Voight, Patricia Arquette, Tim Blake Nelson 

Release Date April 18th, 2003 

Published April 17th, 2003 

Posters and wall hangings for the movie Holes began popping up in my local theater over 3 months ago. Because they touted the Disney connection of the film, I took little notice of them writing the film off as yet another formula Disney family movie. It wasn't until recently that I found out Holes is based on a book that had been a phenomenal hit with grade schoolers. This piqued my interest so I checked in with my grade school pop culture consultants, my nieces Megan, 11, and Alexa, 9. They told me that indeed Holes was a big hit in their school though Alexa was more interested than Megan was. Alexa was a little annoyed about my questions because she claims she told me about Holes a long time ago. So armed with this new knowledge, and never one to be left out of the pop culture loop, I went and checked out the movie.

Holes tells a couple of parallel stories that all play into one central story. The center of the story is Stanley Yelnats (Shia Lebeouf) who while walking home is hit in the head by a pair of baseball cleats. What Stanley doesn't know right away is that shoes were stolen from a charity auction for the homeless and were the property of a famous ballplayer. The film doesn't tip off the audience to exactly what is happening, all we know is that Stanley didn't steal the shoes but is nevertheless railroaded in court and sentenced to 18 months in a juvenile camp called Camp Greenlake.

The name Camp Greenlake is ironic because it’s far from green and there is no lake anywhere. The camp is in the middle of the desert and is run by three numbskull bad guys, Mr. Sir (Jon Voight), Dr. Pendanski (Tim Blake Nelson) and Warden Walker (Sigourney Weaver). According to the slimy Mr. Sir, Stanley's punishment at Camp Greenlake for his 18-month stay is to dig holes. Everyday for endless hours, nothing but digging. The counselors say digging builds character but it’s obvious to even the camp's most dunderheaded inhabitant that they are digging for something.

That something may be the treasure of a legendary bank robber known as Kissin Kate Barlow (Patricia Arquette). Kate Barlow was once a loving, docile school teacher who taught both the children and adults of Greenlake how to read and write. Her life was changed forever by a short sweet romance with Sam the onion man (West Wing’s Dule Hill). It began simply enough with Sam trading Kate his delicious onions in exchange for her delicious peaches. Then Sam offered to fix holes in the schoolhouse roof and from there, a tentative romance that is sweet and tender and yet barely takes up 10 to 15 minutes of screentime. The Sam and Kate subplot is the best thing about the film. Director Andrew Davis paints the romance quickly but without sacrificing the tenderness and Arquette and Hill have terrific chemistry. As the subplot develops in flashback, the fact that Sam is black tips the audience to the likely tragic ending of the romance to come.

There is yet another flashback story that plays into the main story, which is the story of the Yelnats family curse that Stanley believes has landed him in trouble. It seems years ago before coming to America Stanley's great grandfather made a deal with a sorceress Madam Zeroni, but before completing the deal he ran off to America and Madame Zeroni curse the family forever.

I won't reveal how the subplots play into the film’s main story, but I will say that it all makes sense in the end and the multiple flashbacks never become overbearing or distracting. They each reveal little clues that play in the ending of the film. Again I cannot praise enough the romance between Arquette and Hill which is of course meant to teach a lesson of history and tolerance. Because of Davis' skillful direction and writer Louis Sachar's smart script (Sachar also wrote the book), the subplot never seems preachy or heavy-handed.

The surprising thing about Holes is the amount of negativity sprinkled throughout that the film’s cute kids movie trailer doesn't prepare you for. The trailer is quite a swerve, leading those who didn't read the book to think you were seeing a Goonies-like gang of friends who stand up to the bad guys and work together as friends to find treasure. In reality, the supporting characters played up as Stanley's friends are for most of the film rather mean and unlikable. That is destined to change by the end of the film but it's certainly surprising at the beginning. Credit Sachar for such a risky choice to allow the kids of Camp Greenlake to actually be the obnoxious troublemakers that would end up being sent to a camp like the one in the film.

The problem areas of the film come from its one-note villains, Weaver, Nelson and especially Jon Voight. Playing a verified version of his amazon guide from Anaconda, Voight gets on your nerves with his many character quirks and quick tempered over acting. As for Weaver and Nelson, they don't rely on quirks and over acting likely because their character development was left on the cutting room floor, leaving them to simply be jerks. The film’s pacing is also at times a little slow and will leave many checking their watch and feeling they have been in the theater far longer than it seems

Nevertheless, there is more good than bad in Holes which is a parable about race, love, family and friendship masked in a mystery about buried treasure and western legend. With such unwieldy elements to tie into one story, credit Louis Sachar and Andrew Davis for making the film coherent. That it's also mildly entertaining is a nice bonus.

Movie Review: A Mighty Wind

A Mighty Wind (2003) 

Directed by Christopher Guest 

Written by Christopher Guest 

Starring Bob Balaban, Harry Shearer, Michael McKean, Christopher Guest, Eugene Levy, Parker Posey 

Release Date April 16th, 2003 

Published April 23rd, 2003 

The genius of Christopher Guest, as exhibited in the brilliant Waiting For Guffman and the even better Best In Show, is once again on display in the folk music sendup A Mighty Wind. That genius is tempered though by a pervasive attitude of insincerity in the film’s closing moments. Nevertheless, a flawed Christopher Guest comedy is better than most Hollywood comedies. Using the same faux documentary style that has become his trademark, Guest and his usual company of actors deliver a satirical take on the 60’s folk music scene. 

As the story goes, legendary folk music promoter Irving Steinbloom has passed away. Irving’s son Jonathon (Bob Balaban) is memorializing his father by reuniting his three favorite groups for a concert to be broadcast live on public television. We then meet each of the groups, including the Folksmen (Guest, Harry Shearer and Michael McKean), who’s one big hit was inspired by the burned out neon of a restaurant sign “E At O’s”. The New Main Street Singers are the result of a pair of folk groups who joined forces back in the sixties. Now most of the original members are gone, replaced by frighteningly cheery cultists Terry and Jane Bohner (John Michael Higgins and Jane Lynch). Paul Dooley plays the only remaining original member, while Fred Willard plays the group’s manager, a clueless self-absorbed former child star who can’t let go of the spotlight and especially his annoying catchphrase “Wha Happened”.

The centerpiece of the show and the film is the duo Mitch (Eugene Levy) and Mickey (Catherine O’Hara). The biggest stars on the roster, Mitch and Mickey haven’t worked together since a legendary onstage kiss during a televised performance of their biggest hit “A Kiss At The End of the Rainbow.” Nowadays Mitch is a mess. just out of a mental institute and Mickey is happily married to a medical supply salesman. Ed Begley Jr. rounds out the cast as Lars Olfen, the head of the public TV network and a Swede in origin who nevertheless loves to speak Yiddish. Begley is priceless as he criticizes the small-scale production of the show, insisting he can get a big crane at a moment’s notice.

The great thing about Christopher Guest’s films are the actors and Guest’s insistence on unscripted dialogue, which though it can be hit and miss, it hits far more than it misses. Watch John Michael Higgins and Jane Lynch as they recount how they met with increasing looniness. Guest let’s them go on and on until it’s clear they have run out of ad-libs. Then of course there is Guest, Shearer and McKean, clearly enjoying the Spinal Tap reunion with even worse hairstyles. The ease of rapport between the three is astonishing and hilarious, what a great team.

Not only is the dialogue ad-libbed but also so are the songs in a way ad-libbed. In a risky and unique choice Guest and the cast wrote their own folk tunes which we hear in the film’s climactic concert scene. The songs are surprisingly good, and Levy and O’Hara truly amaze with their poignant rendition of their hit song. While the Folksman and The New Main Street Singers are plated to the height of satire, Mitch and Mickey have an edge of reality to them. The story behind the duo, how they met, and how they broke up, is a sweet story and very well played by these two amazing comic actors.

The first 75 to 80 minutes of A Mighty Wind, from the beginning through the concert is very funny and enjoyable. However, after the concert the film doesn’t end. The scenes that close the film wrap up what happened to the groups after the show and feel like a slap in the face to anyone who enjoyed the film through the concert. The cynical scenes that make these likable characters into buffoons are a betrayal to what came before them.

The ending is actually the most conventional element of the film. Like any Hollywood film that doesn’t end when you think it should, it fills the audience with a sense of dread that turns to sadness and near disgust because you wish it had ended when you expected. Still, for most of the film it’s a funny, sweet, entertaining satire filled with great performances. And of course when compared to most modern comedies, even with it’s flaws, A Mighty Wind is genius.

Movie Review: Bulletproof Monk

Bulletproof Monk (2003) 

Directed by Paul Hunter 

Written by Ethan Reiff, Cyrus Voris 

Starring Chow Yun Fat, Seann William Scott, Jamie King, Karel Roden 

Release Date April 16th, 2003 

Published April 15th, 2003 

The question has been asked since Chow Yun Fat made his American leading man debut in Replacement Killers: Can the Orient's top gunslinging action star translate his popularity to American audiences? With the $100 million dollar success of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, you might think the question has been answered. But in reality it hasn't. Crouching Tiger was a departure for Chow Yun Fat, a familiar Asian face that made Crouching Tiger's mystical nature more palatable to American audiences who normally shun movies with subtitles. The real test for Chow Yun Fat's star power comes with his return to action leading man in Bulletproof Monk.

In Monk, Chow Yun Fat is the nameless protector of ancient scroll that if read aloud would give ultimate power to the reader to remake the world for good or evil. In 1943 our nameless hero gave up his name to become the protector of the scroll. He is immediately attacked by Nazi soldiers whose leader, Strucker (Karl Roden), is familiar with the scrolls. After fighting off the Nazis and making a daring jump off a tall mountain, it's off on a 60-year journey to protect humanity.

There is, of course, a catch to being the protector of the scroll. After 60 years you must turn the scroll over to a new protector. So now in New York 60 years later, the man with no name must seek out the scroll’s new protector while dodging the Nazis who have been tracking him the whole time. While running through the New York subway system attempting to evade Nazi captors, our hero meets a young pickpocket named Kar (Sean William Scott) who helps him save a little girl who has fallen on the subway tracks. 

Kar happened to be running from the police at the time. The two escape into the subway tunnels before either one can be captured. Our hero is impressed with Kar's selflessness in helping him, while Kar simply finds our hero to be strange and takes the opportunity to lift what he thinks is his wallet before leaving him in the tunnel.

Of course our hero is no dummy, he tracks Kar to a subway tunnel where Kar has accidentally wandered into the lair of a criminal gang lead by a man called Mr. Funktastic. No I didn't make that up though I wish I had. A fight ensues as our hero simply watches as Kar fights the gang including a girl named Jade (Jaime King) who is oddly attracted to him. Kar holds his own and escapes when Jade convinces the gang to let him go. What Kar doesn't yet know is that the fight holds special significance to our nameless hero who is convinced it's part of a prophecy and that Kar may be his replacement.

This sets up the film’s formula action, which is somewhat predictable. However what isn't predictable is the effective chemistry of Chow and Scott and the goofy energy that both bring to their cheesy dialogue. Thankfully, dialogue is kept to a minimum. Bulletproof Monk director Paul Hunter shows a strong control over what he's doing in his first feature, keeping the action pace up and playing to the film’s strength.

The action isn't anything you haven't seen before, there is plenty of Matrix style effects. What makes the action in Bulletproof Monk work is the energy and liveliness the stars bring to it. As they go through the obligatory teacher-student training session, both stars use their charisma and energy to make a very typical scene fun.

Chow Yun Fat has been accused of sleepwalking through his first few American films and he's not exactly ebullient here. Still, there is a little glint in his eye and a sly smile that he employs to great effect. He looks like he's having a lot of fun, especially in scene where he spars with Scott while eating a bowl of Cocoa Puffs. You can see he's very pleased with himself throughout the scene and it's really very funny.

The film has its troubles, such as the lame villains who are something from an 80's action movie. Former model Jaime King needs a little more work, as it is she seems to have a future in roles like this but not much more. The real disappointment comes from the character Mr. Funktastic, who is greatly underused. Why introduce a character with such a memorable moniker and then not use him?

I was really surprised how much I laughed during this film and very surprised that most of the laughs were intentional. By that I mean that's what the film was going for. So many modern action films are out of touch with the ridiculousness of their plots, but Bulletproof Monk knows it's goofy and plays to it.

Movie Review: Cube Hypercube

Cube Hypercube (2003)

Directed by Andrzej Sekula 

Written by Sean Hood, Ernie Barbarash 

Starring Garant Wyn Davies, Kari Matchett, Grace Lynn Kung, Matthew Ferguson 

Release Date April 15th, 2003 

Published April 29th, 2003 

In 1998, a pair of mathematically themed films gained cult followings in multiple festival showings. One was Darren Aronofsky's first masterpiece Pi. The other was a uniquely constructed, low budget sci-fi movie called Cube. The inventively low budget Cube was a series of interconnected rooms that make up a seemingly inescapable maze that can only be properly traveled through a mathematical equation. Using minimalist sets and unknown actors, Cube became a cult favorite.

No one was surprised then when Lions Gate announced a sequel. In fact there was little surprise involved at all in the making of Cube 2, a joyless exercise in low budget sci-fi. Building on the same conceit of the original, Cube 2 begins with a group of strangers awakening inside a giant cube. Tiny doors lead them through a maze of varying realities and the only escape is a mathematical equation that leads to the end of the maze.

This time, there are 8 contestants including a psychopath played by B-movie star Geraint Wyn Davies from American Psycho 2. Well, he wasn't always crazy but watching yourself die a couple of times and killing the same person a few times will drive a man a little nutty. The hero of the film is a plucky blonde therapist named Kate (Kari Matchett). Kate, along with a blind genius played by Grace Lin Kung, wander through the various realities followed by Davies’ psycho killer.

Of course Cube 2 isn't about it's story or characters but rather it's special effects which get all the attention in the DVD features. Some of the effects are quite attention grabbing, while others are a little cheesy. The opening credits sequence is eye catching and impressive.

If your watching for the gore that was present in the original you will be disappointed, though there are plenty of dead bodies there is surprisingly little gore. That is likely because Director Adrzej Sekula spent most of the film’s budget on his computer effects and surprisingly polished look, leaving little left over for the buckets of fake blood you might expect from a low budget sci-fi sequel.

What's not impressive about Cube 2 is the characters and dialogue which are maddeningly lame. As is the ending which devolves from sci-fi to cheesy thriller and sets up Cube 3, though that is not official. Based on the cult following of the original Cube, Cube 2 should do quite well in the straight-to-video market. It's not as bad as most straight-to-video trash but another sequel is not justified by this lame reworking of the original.

Movie Review House of 1000 Corpses

House of 1000 Corpses (2003) 

Directed by Rob Zombie 

Written by Rob Zombie 

Starring Sid Haig, Bill Moseley, Sheri Moon Zombie, Karen Black 

Release Date April 11th, 2003

Published April 10th, 2003

Horror fans have been buzzing for three years about rocker Rob Zombie's first foray into feature films, House of 1,000 Corpses. Based on Zombie's unique music videos and avowed love of classic horror films, fans of Fangoria have been foaming at the mouth in anticipation of what Zombie could produce. Now after three years of studio leapfrogging and MPAA kowtowing in an attempt to avoid the kiss of box office death NC 17 rating, House Of 1,000 Corpses is finally receiving a limited theatrical run. Was it worth the wait?

House begins as the story of four college kids in the late 1970's on the road writing a little travelog about kitschy roadside attractions. It stars a couple of unknowns alongside a couple of where-have-I-seen-that-guy-befores who make the mistake of picking up a hitchhiker on a dark rainy night. The hitchhiker is named Baby, a sexy looking blonde with a laugh like a kitten in a blender and personality to match. A flat tire leads the kids to Baby's house where her brother will supposedly use his tow truck to help them get it fixed. Unfortunately, Baby's family is completely insane and demonically obsessed with a dead serial killer known as Dr. Satan.

As the kids wait for the car to be fixed on the night before Halloween, the family, led by mom (horror staple Karen Black) and Otis, the family's top psycho, prepare to raise Dr. Satan from the grave.

Zombie brings his trademark visual style from his music videos and paints a unique horror canvas with poorly focused cameras and the occasional intercutting of black and white scenes from classic horror films so numerous you can't keep up with them. Zombie, long a fan of horror classics from the black and white era, seems to want to recreate the aura of those films but can't resist falling back on the horror cliches of the more modern era the 1970's. Indeed House Of 1,000 Corpses has much more in common with Texas Chainsaw Massacre than any of the black and white movies Zombie claims as inspiration.

There is nothing wrong with an homage to 70's horror movies but House Of 1,000 Corpses seems more rip-off than homage. Outside of Zombie's visuals, everything in the film seems a direct lift from Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The film's most fatal flaw however is its lack of interesting characters. The characters we are supposed to sympathize with are one-note characters that are either whiny or obnoxious. The villains are over the top obnoxious and, rather than being frightening, they are simply annoying. Zombies fail to create a rooting interest on either the side of good or evil. A good horror film has to have a character to cheer for whether it's Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween or Freddy in Nightmare on Elm Street. House of 1,000 Corpses never provides that charismatic character that holds your interest beginning to end.

The lack of a rooting interest leaves the film to rely solely on the director’s skill with visuals and set pieces. As successful as Rob Zombie is with those elements, it's not enough to hold an audience's interest. 

Movie Review: Anger Management

Anger Management (2003) 

Directed by Peter Segal 

Written by David S. Dorfman 

Starring Adam Sandler, Jack Nicholson, Marisa Tomei, Woody Harrelson, John Turturro 

Release Date April 11th, 2003

Published April 10th, 2003 

All the promise Adam Sandler showed in Punch Drunk Love quickly dissipated with his animated disaster 8 Crazy Nights. His producer's credit on Rob Schneider's The Hot Chick showed Sandler's recommitment to the stupidity that made him the idol of the fraternity crowd. I was set to write him off completely until I saw the trailer for Anger Management and the unlikely teaming of Sandler and the legendary Jack Nicholson. Many figured that with Nicholson involved, it could not possibly fail, and in box office terms, it won't. However, the possibility of creative failure was there and indeed realized with a poorly constructed script that even Nicholson can't overcome.

In Anger Management Sandler is Dave Buznik, a put upon office worker shy to the point of extreme introversion. It seems that everyone in Dave's life takes advantage of him except his very accepting girlfriend Linda (Marisa Tomei). While on a business trip Dave is accused of assaulting a flight attendant. Though it's clear that the mild-mannered Dave did not attack anyone he is still convicted of assault and sentenced to anger management therapy with a man named Buddy Rydell (Nicholson).

Dave is sent to Buddy's anger management class with an assortment of crazies including Luis Guzman, John Turturro and cameos by Bobby Knight and John McEnroe. Through more unfortunate circumstances, Dave is involved in a barfight and is sentenced to even more therapy, a new treatment that involves Dr. Rydell living with Dave and turning his life upside down.

The plot machinations that lead to Buddy and Dave living together make a certain amount of sense and to that point in the film the plot seems to unfold logically. However, cracks show throughout as the script by David Dorfman strains to combine realistic characters and over the top set pieces. The relationship between Dave and his girlfriend is sweet, believable and well played by Sandler and Tomei. However, the roadblocks placed in front of them by the plot are too stupid and contrived to be believed. 

There is also the film's strain to make room for unnecessary celeb cameos by the aforementioned Knight, McEnroe, Heather Graham, Derek Jeter, Roger Clemens and former New York mayor Rudy Guiliani whose cameo is uncomfortably tied to the film's plot.

The trailer for Anger Management showed so much promise and was so well done that it makes the film itself all the more disappointing. The promise of the trailer seemed to be a departure from Sandler's past histrionics from The Waterboy and Big Daddy and a move toward a more sensible and smart approach. The appearance of Jack Nicholson only seemed to further imply that. Unfortunately, the film is more of your typical Sandler: fart jokes, dick jokes and other various inanities.

Don't blame Jack for this one, every great actor will occasionally do a picture just to pick up a paycheck. Sandler has been just picking up a paycheck his entire career, save for Punch Drunk Love which as more time passes seems like it's from some alternate universe. On the other hand, maybe it just goes to show what a truly amazing talent P.T Anderson really is.

Movie Review Head of State

Head of State (2003) 

Directed by Chris Rock

Written by Chris Rock, Ali LeRoi 

Starring Chris Rock, Bernie Mac, Dylan Baker, Nick Searcy, Lynn Whitfield 

Release Date March 28th, 2003 

Published March 27th, 2003

Just over a year ago rumors of two competing film projects about unlikely guys who become the first black President sparked rumors of a feud between the film’s respective creators. Both Chris Tucker and Chris Rock wrote and prepared to direct the competing projects and many wonder if there was some bad blood between the actors. Both quickly put those rumors to rest and now Chris Rock is the first out of the gate with Head Of State, a politically charged satire that combines Rock's biting stand up material with Farrelly Brothers style overstatement.

Rock is Mays Gilliam, an alderman from the poorest neighborhood in Washington DC. When Mays makes the news for saving an old lady and her cat from a house explosion, the headlines bring him to the attention of a shady Senator (James Rebhorn). The Senator needs a guy like Mays Gilliam because his party's Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates have just been killed; their planes ran into one another. Because the candidates were already pretty far behind in the polls and the other party's candidate (Nick Searcy) is the current Veep, a war hero and Sharon Stone's cousin, the party is ready to throw in the towel. They need a candidate that they can throw to the wolves and pave the way to the next election.

So Mays is the man and with the help of campaign advisors Martin Geller (Dylan Baker) and Debra Lassiter (Lynn Whitfield), he sets out to lose just like he's supposed to. That is until May's brother Mitch (Bernie Mac) sets his little brother straight. Stop reading the speeches you're supposed to read, quit sucking up to the special interests and just tell the plain simple and hard-to-accept truths. Once turned loose Mays actually starts connecting with voters to the dismay of the Senator and his opponent.

The film is not about its story, it's about the jokes and it's packed with laughs from beginning to end, all of them with Rock's searing satirical touch. The political humor that comes from May's speeches comes directly from Rock's standup and it's just as brilliant as it was in Bring the Pain and Bigger & Blacker. Some may be uncomfortable with Rock's take on white people in general, but it's done in a clearly satirical way and those who are too uncomfortable with it may just feel it hit too close to home.

Some critics are missing the point of Head Of State attempting to contextualize the film’s realistic characters and its over the top set pieces. None of the Head of State should be considered as reality. It's a satire with a serious point of view that takes some shots that will make many people uncomfortable. Some have compared Rock's political stances in Head Of State with those of Michael Moore and they aren't far off. They are the individual concerns of every American something Rock and Moore seem far more in touch with than any politician does.

While Rock's direction is definitely that of a rookie, he can only get better; his scriptwriting is pro level. It's funny and intelligent. The script and the film have respect for the audience’s intelligence and it will leave with as much of a smile on your face as it leaves you with issues to discuss.

Movie Review The Core

The Core (2003) 

Directed by Jon Amiel 

Written by John Rogers 

Starring Aaron Eckhardt, Hilary Swank, Delroy Lindo, Stanley Tucci, D.J Qualls, Richard Jenkins

Release Date March 28th, 2003 

Published March 27th, 2003 

It's not often when screenwriters make the news. When John Rogers, the co-writer of The Core, wrote in to Aint It Cool News to dispute a review that questioned the film’s science, more than a few of us took notice and had a little laugh at his expense. Granted, no one wants their work made fun of, but when you make a movie as unabashedly out there as The Core, you can't expect it to be welcomed as if it were written by Carl Sagan. 

Sci-fi films have a horrible track record of including actual science in them and the aspiration to put real science in a movie like The Core is like asking Beverly Hills Cop to include real police procedures. No one goes to disaster movies for a science lesson, they go to watch landmarks explode. The Core blows up Rome and San Francisco, mission accomplished.

Aaron Eckhart heads up an ensemble cast as Dr. Josh Keyes, a physics professor at some anonymous college. In the midst of a lecture on the layers of the Earth, Dr. Keyes is called out of class by a pair of humorless G-men. Taken on a jet to Washington D.C, he reunites with a fellow scientist and friend Sergei Levesque (Tcheky Karyo, in a rare non-villain role). The two are asked by an army General (Six Feet Under dead guy, Richard Jenkins) to theorize what environmental factors could cause a group of people with pacemakers to simply drop dead without warning.

The answer, after much lucky guessing by Dr. Keyes, is that the Earth's core has stopped spinning causing it's electromagnetic field to go haywire. Not only has it caused pacemakers to stop, but also birds have lost navigating ability and are falling from the sky. Also falling is the space shuttle which has flown off course and nearly crashes in L.A, saved only by the wits of it's plucky navigator Major Rebecca Childs.

So now that we know what's wrong, there are two questions remaining. Number one, how did this happen? And number two, how do we stop it? Thankfully, the film’s trailer has already told us both of those things. A weapon that causes earthquakes has gone too far thanks to the miscalculations of it's inventor Dr. Zimsky (Stanley Tucci). Conversely, crazy scientist Dr. "Braz" Brazzleton has a vehicle with the ability to tunnel all the way to the core. Once there, nuclear weapons can be dropped to kickstart the core. Apparently, no one had jumper cables.

To the science issue, I have no idea and really don't care if the science is real. What matters is if the film is any good. Some geologist writing somewhere said that the film has as many accurate notions as inaccuracies and that the inaccuracies are those that are necessary for dramatic purposes. WHATEVER!

Let's get to the important stuff, how cool are the explosions. Well let me tell you in the words of the late John Candy in an old SCTV sketch, stuff blow'd up, blow'd up real good. The special effects aren't spectacular but they are entertaining in a modern day Ed Wood sort of way. The Golden Gate Bridge explosion is a cheesy treat and when Rome blows up, watching the reactions of the extras running from the Coliseum is priceless.

The Core is a bad movie but in the camp sense it's genius. Whether intentional or not The Core is full of laughs from the effects to the characters. I especially liked Stanley Tucci who seemed to be channeling Dr. Smith from Lost In Space with his whiny smugness. And kudos to Delroy Lindo for assuaging his usual calm cool persona for a geekier frazzled genius demeanor that you don't expect from him.

The Core is just plain goofy and in that sense it's a lot of fun. Though it needs to be greatly pared down from it's two-hour plus runtime, it nevertheless delivers a fun little distraction.

Movie Review: View from the Top

View from the Top (2003) 

Directed by Bruno Barreto 

Written by Eric Wald

Starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Christina Applegate, Mark Ruffalo, Candice Bergen, Joshua Malina, Kelly Preston, Rob Lowe, Mike Myers

Release Date March 21st, 2003 

Published March 21st, 2003 

Of the many odd ripples from our country's greatest tragedy, none seems less important than it's effects on Hollywood movies. It's an effect still felt today, as films that were made around the time of 9/11 finally reach theaters. One of the films shelved after 9/11 was the flight attendant comedy View From The Top. One is left to wonder what kind of movie View was when it was conceived and what it became after the tragedy. Suddenly jokes involving air travel simply aren't funny and as a filmmaker, you have sensitivities to care about that never existed before. It must have been more excruciating for such a light comedy to have that mantle to bear, and it's one that likely ruined any chance the film had of being a hit.

View From The Top stars Gwyneth Paltrow as Donna Jensen, the daughter of a Vegas go-go dancer and an alcoholic father. Donna, living in a trailer with her well-past-her-prime mom, desperately wants out of the trailer and thinks she has a way with a new boyfriend. Unfortunately like everything else in her life, the boyfriend (played in cameo by Buffy's Marc Blucas) let's her down and dumps her in a birthday card. Nevertheless, Donna's pluckiness and spirit lead her to another opportunity to better herself. After seeing a woman on TV talk about the wonders of being a flight attendant, Donna sets out to travel the world. Of course at first, she has to settle for the Laughlin to Fresno route of an economy airline that specializes in drunk gamblers. Hey, everyone has to start somewhere.

Along the way, Donna makes friends with her flight attendant mentor (Kelly Preston) and another trainee (Christina Applegate). She also makes a new love connection with a struggling law student played by Mark Ruffalo. Donna doesn't have time for a relationship though as she and her friends fight their way into another airline, the high class Royalty airlines. Here, Donna actually meets the woman who inspired her to become a flight attendant (Candace Bergen). In addition, Donna becomes the star pupil of a flight attendant teacher played by Mike Myers.

Though Donna seems destined for the big time, international first class to Paris, she somehow fails and ends up doing commuter flights out of Cleveland. It's not all bad though as while stationed in Cleveland she reunites with the law student and they begin a tentative romance. However, it is then that Donna does get her international route and must choose between her career and personal life.

On the surface, View From The Top seems pretty straightforward, but upon watching you see it become quite confused. Director Bruno Barreto never settles on a tone for the film. Early scenes of Paltrow's Donna living in squalor seem like a Jerry Springer satire. Then as Donna becomes more sophisticated and grown up, something Paltrow is so good at projecting, she is confronted by characters that seem to be in entirely different films.

While somewhere toward the middle of the film, Paltrow and Candace Bergen seem to channel the elegant humor of an Audrey Hepburn movie, Mike Myers is doing Jerry Lewis and Christina Applegate seems a refugee from the aforementioned Springer show. Ruffalo seems to fit somewhere in the middle while seeming capable of fitting either tone if given proper direction.

Again, I wonder how much the film changed after 9/11. It was always a comedy but how much of the humor or even the story was forced to change for the sake of sensitivity. Is it possible that a more coherent version of the film existed before? I guess we will never know. As it is, View From The Top is yet another line on Gwyneth Paltrow's resume. While not great, it does note her amazing range. If given the chance I'm sure she could have made one of the two movies in View From The Top work.

Movie Review: Dreamcatcher

Dreamcatcher (2003) 

Directed by Lawrence Kasden

Written by William Goldman 

Starring Morgan Freeman, Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Damian Lewis, Timothy Olyphant, Donnie Wahlberg

Release Date March 21st, 2003

Published March 20th, 2003 

For once Stephen King is publicly saying he likes a movie made from one of his books. Always his work’s harshest critic, King claims to never have been fully satisfied with any screen adaptation. However, the newest King adaptation, Dreamcatcher, has earned his seal of approval. That is likely because it is the most too-the-word adaptation of any of King's work. Dreamcatcher seems to go out of it's way to be faithful to King's vision, some might say that’s a good thing, some like myself disagree.

In Dreamcatcher we meet four guys, friends since childhood, who share the unique ability to communicate telepathically and read people’s minds. This ability stems from a childhood incident when they saved a retarded boy nicknamed Duddits from a group of bullies. Now adults, the four friends, Henry (Thomas Jane), Jonesy (Daniel Lewis), Beaver (Jason Lee) and Pete (Timothy Olyphant) planning a trip to a shared cabin in the woods. The trip is called off when Jonesy is nearly killed in a sick looking car accident.

Cut to six months later and the friends finally make it to the cabin. Jonesy, having survived the accident, seems normal but tells his friends that the accident was caused by a vision of their childhood friend Duddits. He doesn't blame Duddits for the accident but cannot explain the strange vision and especially how he survived the horrific accident.

This setup is very intriguing with good chemistry among the four actors and the character development and the use of the telepathy is very engaging. It entices the audience into what one hopes is an examination of these characters and theie abilities. Unfortunately, this is where Dreamcatcher flies off the rails and turns into yet another sci-fi/ horror schlockfest.

It is at this point that we meet Morgan Freeman and his insane General Kurtz. Kurtz is tracking the crash of an alien ship that contains aliens intent on spreading a virus that could wipe out humanity. As Kurtz searches for the ship, our four friends are witnesses to some freaky stuff. While Henry and Pete go on a beer run, Jonesy and Beaver take in a hunter who was lost in the woods. The hunter is very ill, as the number of loud farts coming out of him attest. It's not long before Jonesy and Beaver find out what's wrong with the guy, in a scene that makes John Hurt's ET indigestion in Alien look tame.

Now with Morgan Freeman in the film it would seem impervious to being bad, but oh how wrong you are. In fact, it is Freeman who provides many of the unintentionally funny moments of the film. Woefully miscast as a crazy man, Freeman should be playing the good guy role that went to Tom Sizemore. After all, who could possibly play crazy opposite Tom Sizemore? It’s worth noting that naming Freeman's General Kurtz is a cute little allusion to Apocolypse Now.

I mentioned just how faithful Dreamcatcher is to it's source material and though I haven't read it, I'm sure it is. What so many people don't realize about Stephen King's writing is, is how blatantly uncommercial it is. Oh sure it sells millions of copies, but that doesn't tell you how many people bought the book and were unable to make it all the way through it. This is the problem in faithfully adapting a King novel because most of his novels are far more gruesome than anyone would ever want to film.

Dreamcatcher, in being faithful to the original, took a risk that the disgusting elements of the writing and the outrageous plot twists would cause audiences to turn away or even walk out. Props for taking the risk, however it failed miserably.

Apparently Dreamcatcher isn't one of King's best because if this is a faithful adaptation it's an absolute mess. From ridiculous looking rejects from the Alien movies, to the cringe inducing dialogue, Dreamcatcher is at times a painful moviegoing experience. Schlocky sci-fi/horror on par with Resident Evil and Jason Goes to Space, or whatever the hell they called that Friday the 13th dud.

It's a real shame because the opening 35-40 minutes are pretty good and Director Lawrence Kasdan does a good job of building suspense throughout the beginning of the film. Why he drifted into horror movie cliches and sci-fi nastiness at a certain point in the film is maddening. It's a shame Kasdan decided to remain faithful to King when a director of his skill could have taken the strong start and taken the story in a more interesting direction.

Movie Review: Boat Trip

Boat Trip (2003) 

Directed by Mort Nathan

Written by Mort Nathan 

Starring Cuba Gooding Jr. Horatio Sanz, Roger Moore, Vivica A. Fox 

Release Date March 21st 2003 

Published March 20th, 2003 

It is a testament to just how good Cuba Gooding Jr. was in his Oscar winning role in Jerry Maguire that people like myself have so willingly ignored the number of awful films he's made. 

This is the guy who even after a breakout role in Boyz in The Hoodmade the decision to star opposite Paul Hogan in Lightning Jack as a mute sidekick. A man who since winning an Oscar has made the films Chill Factor, Instinct, Rat Race, and Snow Dogs and done so with a straight face. So I shouldn't be surprised when Gooding turns out another abysmal film with his new comedy Boat Trip. I once again walked in with my Jerry Maguire rose colored glasses on and once again left disappointed.

In Boat Trip, Gooding plays Jerry, recently dumped by his fiancée (Vivica A. Fox) and wallowing in self-pity. That is until his buddy Nick (Horatio Sanz) books them on a singles cruise. Unfortunately for Jerry and Nick, when they booked the cruise they ticked off the travel agent (Will Ferrell, in a cameo) that decides to book them on a gay cruise.

In a scene that defies believability and credibility to an astounding degree, Jerry and Nick manage to board the ship without noticing the number of men holding hands and the odd lack of women anywhere on the boat. It isn't until the boat has left and the two friends sit in the boat's bar with Roger Moore as a rich gay guy and he tells them they are on a gay cruise. Well needless to say this leads to a stream of homophobic ranting with Nick and Jerry screaming and yelling as if they were going down on the Titanic.

So of course the next logical step once they realize they are on a gay cruise, well of course you pretend to be a couple so that Jerry can seduce the ship’s lone female dance instructor, played by Roselyn Sanchez. Meanwhile Sanz's homophobic Nick comes to think he may be gay because he enjoys playing poker with gay guys.

If that doesn't illustrate the exquisite pain that is Boat Trip, try sprinkling in lame attempts at Farrelly Brothers style gross out humor. Writer/director Mort Nathan knows how to ape the histrionics of a Farrelly Brothers comedy but what he can't do is match the Farrelly's sweetness that tempers their worst gags. The Farrellys know that for the audience to tolerate the gross out stuff it has be in the service of characters we like. Boat Trip never for one moment establishes characters we like. Both Gooding and Sanz mug and preen and deliver dialogue in service of the plot but never for a moment act. They never connect with the audience and never rise above caricatures, while the supporting cast exist as plot points and sight gags.

I feel it necessary to hit the filmmakers for their use of Roselyn Sanchez in the film. True, she is a beautiful woman who I don't mind seeing in sexy, slinky outfits that barely cover her. However, the misogynistic attention paid to her and other female cast members is the kind of ancient, Neanderthal behavior relegated to the worst of Russ Meyer. But to Meyer's credit, he never attempted to hide his misogyny inside a mainstream feature. 

Movie Review: Willard

Willard (2003) 

Directed by Glen Morgan 

Written by Glen Morgan 

Starring Crispin Glover, Laura Elena Herring R. Lee Ermey

Release Date March 14th, 2003 

Published March 14th, 2003 

Years ago, Dennis Miller joked that Arab-Israeli peace agreements are about as stable as Crispin Glover. I didn't get the reference at the time but a friend explained that it stemmed from a rather vivid crack up Glover performed in one of his films. After watching Glover's latest film, the rat-filled Willard, I really get the joke.

In Willard, Glover is the titular Willard Stiles. He’s a shy, to the point of aberration, bookish desk jockey at a company once owned by his late father. The company is now run by his father’s ex-partner Mr. Smith (R. Lee Ermey), an evil tyrant who makes a habit of humiliating Willard. Things aren't much better for Willard at home where his rattled mother (Jackie Burroughs) monitors his every move. Constantly nosy and critical, it's not hard to imagine why Willard is so self-hating. And to top it all off Willard has a serious rat infestation in his basement. At first Willard attempts to get rid of the rats but they are a little too clever for his traps. Then Willard captures a little white rat, but rather than get rid of it he forms a bond with the rodent and names him Socrates.

Socrates is Willard's only friend, though a new co-worker played by Mulholland Drive's Laura Elena Herring has, for some unknown reason, taken an interest in Willard. Unfortunately, Willard is too socially retarded to return her interest, preferring instead to bond with Socrates and his rat buddies who are beginning to fill the basement to capacity. One of the rats is a monster that Willard dubs Big Ben. Now of course Ben is just a rat, but because he is so freakishly large the rat communicates a menace that is well played for comedy and horror.

Though things are getting crowded and the rats are coming out of the basement, especially Big Ben, Willard puts up with it and begins training the rats to do his bidding. The rat’s first order of business is to help Willard get revenge on his boss by eating the tires on the boss’s car. From there however, Willard begins to lose control of his little friends and after they start killing, Willard must figure a way to get rid of the rats without becoming dinner himself.

Willard is as you may already know a remake of a 1971 horror cult classic starring Bruce Davison, referenced in this film as Willard's dad. Whether that classifies this film as a sequel or not, I'm not sure. There are reasons to believe it may have been merely an homage to the original by Director Glenn Morgan and partner James Wong. This version of Willard retains the lead character’s name and the names of the originals “lead rats.”

The special effects in Willard are not bad, a mixture of CGI and animatronics makes for effectively creepy looking rodents. Director Glen Morgan seems to have gone to painstaking lengths to make the rats as realistic-looking as possible, including covering the floors with rat droppings for yet another realistic touch.

Ultimately, I didn't get what I was looking for from Willard. I knew going in that it wasn't necessarily a horror film, with many reviews calling it a horror comedy. However the film delivers only a few laughs and fewer scares. I was hoping for a sort of campy cult classic along the lines of the original Willard and it's oddball sequel Ben. Sadly, only a couple of scenes effectively capture that camp mood. One scene with an unfortunate cat that gets dumped in Willard's house is made over-the-top-hilarious by the soundtrack’s employment of Michael Jackson's unbelievably weird tune “Ben.” That scene provides the film’s only solid laughs, unless of course you’re a big fan of cats.

The filmmakers were smart to cast Glover who's skittishness and creepy Goth look plays perfectly against the film’s dark backgrounds. Glover has the look of porcelain in a kiln on the verge of exploding. Unfortunately, the film never establishes a tone or a direction. It's not scary or funny and it's not much of a thriller either. Props to the creators for actually garnering my sympathy for a rat. Willard's favorite, Socrates, is cute and I was surprised to care when he was in danger.

Morgan and Wong, former X-Files producers, and the twisted minds behind the original and far superior Final Destination, never seem to find the tone they were searching for which leaves the film aimless and unfulfilled. It's a shame because I wanted to like this film.

Movie Review: Bend it Like Beckham

Bend it Like Beckham (2003) 

Directed by Gurinder Chadha 

Written by Paul Mayeda Berges

Starring Parminder Nagra, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Juliet Stevenson, Archie Panjabi 

Release Date March 12th, 2003 

Published March 12th, 2003 

In the recent British release 28 Days Later, a virus spreads across Britain turning people into mindless zombies. We here in a America have known that virus for years, it emanates from Hollywood in the form of banal crowd-pleasing comedies that are all things to all demographics. Family friendly without a trace of irony, these films exist solely as cash machines and appeal to moviegoing zombies who can't take the time to think about why they are laughing as long as they are not offended. 

Sadly, the British import Bend It Like Beckham, shows this virus is spreading globally from Britain where the film is set, to India, where the film’s director Gurinder Chadha is from.

Bend It Like Beckham is a reference to worldwide Soccer superstar David Beckham and his impressive ability to make a soccer ball twist in midair and sail around a goalie. Beckham is the hero of the film’s star Jesminda Bhamra, a soccer player in her own right who hopes to play professionally someday. Unfortunately, Jesminda's traditional Indian family has already mapped out her future. She is to attend a university close to home, get a degree, learn to cook Indian food, and marry an Indian boy, just as her mother did and just as her sister is about to do. Jesminda however, has a dream that is much stronger than any familial tradition. 

The call of the soccer field however is unavoidable and after meeting a new friend, Juliet played by Keira Knightley, Jesminda finds her way onto a competitive soccer team with a chance to play for college scouts. This opportunity then opens the door to go to America and perhaps, a chance to play soccer professionally.

Of course, this plot is loaded with contrived roadblocks from Jesminda's numerous lies to her parents about her playing to the soccer team coach (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) who both Jesminda and Juliet are attracted to. The film throws up so many roadblocks that it stops and starts like rush hour traffic. The one funny subplot in the film involves Juliet's mother played by Juliet Stevenson and her mistaken belief that her daughter and Jesminda are more than friends. The subplot is sitcom level but well executed by Stevenson, a veteran of British comedy.

The rest of the film is a lifeless set of clichés that never amount to much more than plot contrivance. There are no stakes in the film. One never senses that Jesminda's goal is in jeopardy. Obviously there will be happy ending, it is after all a comedy, but the film still has to have something interesting happen to get to that happy ending, but it never does. Nothing more than recycled cliches from better and worse films.

The comparison to My Big Fat Greek Wedding is obvious, the setup is almost identical and both films are generic, inoffensive crowd pleasers. However, some have also compared it with the Indian film Monsoon Wedding, a comparison that Bend It Like Beckham does not hold up to. Films like Monsoon Wedding and another woman on the verge movie, Real Women Have Curves, are exactly the movies that expose Beckham's worst qualities. Both of those films are daring and emotional and have humor that comes not from contrivance but from real life experience.

The most disappointing element of Bend It Like Beckham is that it was directed by the very talented Gurinder Chadha. Chadha's previous effort, the extended family drama What's Cooking, was a lovely, intelligent film with real characters with real problems. The characters in Bend It Like Beckham are pleasing archetypes that are easy to like because they have no sharp edges. They are inoffensive, easy on the eyes and completely unchallenging. In other words, they're exactly what Hollywood is looking for.

Movie Review: Bringing Down the House

Bringing Down the House (2003) 

Directed by Adam Shankman 

Written by Jason Filardi 

Starring Steve Martin, Queen Latifah, Eugene Levy, Jean Smart, Joan Plowright, Missi Pyle 

Release Date March 7th, 2003 

Published March 6th, 2003 

Racial humor these days is more difficult than peace in the Middle East. Sensitivities are high and watchdogs are everywhere seizing on any hint of political incorrectness. Into this climate wanders the mismatched buddy comedy Bringing Down The House starring Steve Martin and Queen Latifah. A film that is desperate to be edgy with it's racial humor but paints too broadly to make anything close to a point.

Martin is Peter Sanderson, a workaholic LA lawyer who has recently divorced his wife Kate (Jean Smart) leaving her custody of their two kids, Sarah (Kimberly J. Brown) and Georgy (Angus T. Jones).

Peter isn't an absentee father, he still sees his kids but because of his job, he breaks a lot of promises. Constantly attached to his cellphone, Peter has little time for anything other than work though he has found time to strike up an Internet connection with a fellow lawyer named Charlene. Or so he thinks. Peter believes Charlene is a lawyer because her screen-name is lawyergirl. 

In reality however, Charlene is actually an ex con looking for someone to help get her out of jail. What Peter also doesn't know, until they meet on a blind date at his home, is that Charlene isn't the petite waspish blonde he had imagined but rather a sassy busty black woman in the form of Queen Latifah. If this sounds like the setup to a bad sitcom then you're onto something.

Peter is, not surprisingly, unhappy with Charlene's deception and wants her to leave immediately, until Charlene makes a scene and he is forced to let her stay. In a series of implausibility's, she stays in his house bonds with his kids and eventually the two come to an understanding. She helps him try and get his wife back while he works to clear her name. Eugene Levy is thrown into the plot as Charlene's love interest and The Practice's Steven Harris slums as Charlene's gangbanger ex-boyfriend.

Despite it's bad sitcom level plotting Bringing Down the House has it's share of laughs, most of them coming from Martin and Latifah who at times seem to be in an entirely different and far funnier film. The chemistry between the two is excellent in scenes where they seem to be flying off the script. However, when they are in the forced confines of the film’s plot, they seem bored.

The supporting cast is made up of caricatures and plot points and Eugene Levy is both. Thrown in to give the script a reason for Latifah and Martin not to get together, he also provides the screenwriter with the lame white guy he needs to foolishly send up stereotypical black speech as you have seen in the film‘s inescapable ad campaign. Also forced into the film as a caricature is Joan Plowright as Martin's bigoted client. Plowright's character exists for the purpose of one scene in which she smokes marijuana at a nightclub. It's funny because she's white, old, and smoking a joint..... hahahahaha.

The films racial humor is clumsy to the point of offensive and if it weren't for Latifah, you might not be able to tolerate a lot of it. The script seems determined to either make you laugh or make you extremely uncomfortable, which could be a commendable trait if the film weren't tied to such a mundane plot and bound to it's genre.

Director Adam Shankman needs to learn to control his camera. Early in the film he falls in love with these nauseating tracking shots that will have you wishing for Dramamine. His technique gets better as the film goes on but sadly, he is in place merely to transfer the mundane script to the screen.

Anything interesting in Bringing Down The House is provided by Martin and Latifah who through comedic force of will make this lame predictable material occasionally funny. The most surprisingly funny moment comes toward the end when Martin dresses up in the stereotypical “young black guy” costume and enters a black club. The scene has the potential to be extremely unfunny but Martin plays it so well you laugh, whether you wanted to or not. 

Movie Review: Cradle 2 the Grave

Cradle 2 the Grave (2003) 

Directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak 

Written by John O'Brien 

Starring DMX, Jet Li, Anthony Anderson, Kelly Hu, Tom Arnold, Marc Dacascos, Gabrielle Union 

Release Date February 28th, 2003 

Published February 27th, 2003 

DMX has made it clear with the opening of his production company that the movie business isn't a hobby or a bandwagon-jumping fad. DMX the actor is dead serious about making a go of it in Hollywood. Unfortunately for DMX, Hollywood is not yet taking him seriously, sticking him with bad B-movie action scripts like the one he's saddled with in Cradle 2 the Grave, which, much like his last film Exit Wounds, casts him as the anti-hero with a heart of gold. It is a tiresome formula from which he will have a hard time.

In Cradle 2 the Grave, DMX is a diamond thief named Tony Fait who, along with his crew (including Anthony Anderson and Gabrielle Union) knock over a huge diamond vault in broad daylight. Unfortunately, they are being watched and followed by a shady Taiwanese law enforcement agent named Su (Jet Li). Just when it seems that the crew has pulled a successful heist, Su sends in the cops and Tony and company escape with only a fraction of their loot.

What they did get away with is a very valuable and mysterious bag of black diamonds. Having never seen anything like them before, Fait takes the diamond to a expert fence played by comedian Tom Arnold. Before the fence can find anything out about the diamonds, they are stolen by a rival gang headed up by Boston Public's Chi McBride. It gets worse. The original owners of the black diamonds, headed up by straight-to-video legend Mark Dacascos, want their diamonds back and take Fait's eight-year-old daughter in order to get Fait to give them what they want. (The child in danger plot is the hallmark of hack screenwriting.) Now, with nowhere to turn, Fait must team with Su to get his daughter and the diamonds, which are actually a powerful new terrorist weapon created by the Taiwanese government.

Director Adrzej Bartkowiak, who also helmed Exit Wounds, gives Cradle 2 the Gravea strong music video slickness that work well during the fight scenes, which are choreographed to the film's strong point, its soundtrack. If only the film were as entertaining as it is music. Unfortunately, it's not.

Still struggling with English, Li is given little to do when he isn't fighting bad guys. This puts the dramatic onus on DMX, who has a strong presence but is still a little too raw to be a leading man. The supporting cast is not bad; Union gives an especially strong accounting of herself showing off some kick-ass moves that she's never shown before. Anderson manages to keep his most annoying traits in check, though he is still somewhat grating, especially in the obviously improvised moments.

Poor Mark Dacascos is laughable as the villain. With his vapidity oozing over every sentence, Dacascos is one of least intimidating baddies in a long time. This guy is supposed to be a criminal mastermind; I doubt this guy could mastermind a convenience store robbery let alone negotiate an international arms deal. He, of course, is stuck with the film's most unintentionally chuckle-inducing moments when he addresses the world's foremost arms dealers by saying, "You are the world's most foremost arms dealers." Thanks for the plot update, genius.

Cradle 2 the Grave is yet another chase-scene, explosion, special-effect, action movie on auto-pilot. A film that had a cast and a poster before it had a script, Cradle 2 the Grave is a marketer's dream and an intelligent moviegoer's nightmare.

Movie Review: Dark Blue

Dark Blue (2003) 

Directed by Ron Shelton

Written by David Ayer

Starring Kurt Russell, Ving Rhames, Scott Speedman, Michael Michele, Brendan Gleeson 

Release Date February 21st, 2003

Published February 20th, 2003

The corrupt cop movie has become a genre all it's own and a surprisingly compelling one. Two of the genres most recent entries are Joe Carnahan's Narc and Antoine Fuqua's Training Day, two well-acted and well-written films. However, the genre is also a convenient backdrop for straight to video exploitation films starring Baldwin brothers. So to which extreme does the Kurt Russell-Ron Shelton teaming Dark Blue lean? Sadly a little bit of both.

Set in Los Angeles in 1992, one year after the Rodney King beating and just four days before the acquittal of the four officers involved in the beating, Dark Blue stars Russell as LAPD detective Elden Perry. A member of LA's feared S.I.S unit, Perry and his young partner Bobby Keogh (Felicity's Scott Speedman) have a “play by their own rules” style that flies in the face of legality but does get things done.

As we join the story, Keough is in front of an investigative board to determine whether his use of deadly force in a recent bust was justified. The investigators seem to be willing to accept that the shooting was justified, all of them accept Deputy Chief Arthur Holland (Ving Rhames) who has been suspicious of S.I.S tactics for a very long time. As we soon find out the shooting wasn't clean and Keough wasn't the one who actually pulled the trigger. Indeed, it's questionable whether the guy they shot was even the right criminal.

The S.I.S is headed up by a corrupt lifetime cop Jack Van Meter (Brenden Gleeson), who served with Elden's father and taught Perry the tactics of planting evidence and closing cases regardless of the evidence.

The ambitious Arthur Holland sees the S.I.S for the criminals they are but also as an opportunity. Take down the S.I.S, clean up the department’s most corrupt cops and make a run at becoming LA's first black police chief. With the help of his assistant, SGT. Beth Williamson (Michael Michele), Holland begins an investigation into the S.I.S and Williamson discovers that the cop she has been dating anonymously is Bobby Keough.

The odd thing about Dark Blue is how little screentime Ving Rhames actually has. The films ad campaign plays up the rivalry between Rhames' and Russell's characters. However, most of that war is off screen and what we see more often is the interaction between Russell and Scott Speedman as they investigate a crime they have been instructed not to solve.

The film is based on a story by James Ellroy, best known for LA Confidential. Dark Blue was actually written with the Watts riots of the 1960's as the backdrop. The time shift from then to the 90's and the LA riots touched off by the Rodney King verdict doesn't hurt the story. In addition, the 1992 riots are a good touchstone for modern audiences who still haven't forgotten the riots themselves even if not much was learned from their brutality.

A lot has been made of Russell's performance, which some have said is the best of his career. I disagree. I found Russell's performance to be mostly on the surface. He is the anti-hero, at first he is a bad guy because he plants evidence and believes that cops who beat Rodney King were right to have done it. But he is also conflicted about his work and drinks heavily to cover his emotions. Whether he gets the right bad guy or not, he always busts criminals. Still, Russell never seems to believe the things he says or does. I'm sure the character is supposed to believe them but Russell's laid-back line delivery betrays that.

As for Scott Speedman, there is a reason why his character has little face-time in the film’s marketing. It’s because in every scene he communicates how over-matched he is by the material. Russell and Michael Michele do what they can to carry Speedman but his performance never comes together. Ving Rhames,  meanwhile, really gets abused in Dark Blue. He gets star billing and little screen time. The screen time he does get is mostly silent brooding and pious speechifying. This amazing powerful actor deserves far better than this underused and underwritten character.

Dark Blue isn't a bad film and indeed once it begins dramatizing the beginning of the LA riots, it takes on a visceral excitement that puts the film’s many problems in the background if only momentarily. It's only moments later that we get to Russell's big scene where he gives a rather long-winded speech as the city burns to the ground.

Director Ron Shelton is a technician who knows how to frame the film’s action. Problem is, the script spends too much time painting its characters motivations and not enough time dealing with it's politics about race and corruption in the LAPD. That is the story the film wants to tell but disregards in favor of a more action-centered plot involving a pair of criminals bankrolled by Gleeson's corrupt cop.

There is a film to be made about the racial politics of the LAPD leading from the Rodney King case to the LA riots but Dark Blue is not that film.

Movie Review Shanghai Knights

Shanghai Knights (2003) 

Directed by David Dobkin 

Written by Alfred Gough, Miles Milar 

Starring Jackie Chan, Owen Wilson, Fann Wong, Donnie Yen, Aidan Gillen 

Release Date February 7th, 2003 

Published February 7th, 2003 

I was not a fan of Shanghai Noon, the first teaming of Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson. That film was a dull amalgam of Western cliches and Chan's usual kung-fu histrionics leavened slightly by Wilson's surfer dude charm. So I must admit I wasn't looking forward to the sequel, Shanghai Knights, which transplants the Western duo from Nevada to Britain.

It's 1887 and Britain and China are attempting to avoid a war. The peace process is not helped however by the theft of China's Great Seal, which is the symbol of power in China. The man charged with the protection of the seal is killed and he happens to be the father of Chon Wang (Chan). The seal was stolen by a British aristocrat who was supposed to be heading the peace process. The bad guy is tracked to Britain by Lin Wang, Chon's sister (smokin hot Fan Wong).

After receiving word from his sister, Chon leaves his post as a Nevada Sheriff for New York City so that he can hook up with his old friend Roy O'Bannon (Wilson) to retrieve his portion of the treasure they collected in the first film. Not surprisingly, Roy has blown through the entire treasure printing a book about their first adventure that paints himself as the hero. With debtors and cops chasing him, Roy joins Chon on his trip to Britain.

Once in Britain our heroes join up with a Scotland Yard detective, whose full name is one of the film's many strained-in jokes, to find Chon's sister and track the man who stole the Great Seal. Standing in their way is not only the British villain Rathbone, but a Chinese villain Wu Yip, played by Donnie Yen. Another complication is Roy's attraction to Chon's sister, which Chon attempts to discourage but will no doubt be forced to accept.

The film of course features Chan's typical kung-fu stuff, but it seems fresher than usual here with a slightly more rehearsed feel that makes it more fluid and witty. There is a terrific sequence that takes place with Chan and some police officers in a revolving door that combines Keystone cops, Charlie Chaplin and Bruce Lee. Another sensational sequence honors silent screen superstar Harold Lloyd as Chan and Wilson hang precariously from a clock face.

Why does Shanghai Knights succeed where the first film failed? I'd say the change in location helped but also the chemistry between Wilson and Chan is the biggest improvement. In their first teaming, the two never seemed to be on the same page, with Wilson's laid back charm exposing Chan's weakness with the language. The stunts in Shanghai Knights seem fresher and better choreographed than most of Chan's recent work, especially in the dreadful Tuxedo.

Director David Dobkin infuses the film with a stronger wit and more consistent pace than the first film's helmer, who too often relied on Chan's fighting skills and forgot to make the film funny. Shanghai Knights has those typical buddy movie moments and can't help getting caught up in genre cliche but its wit and energy carries it over the rough spot and makes for an entertaining little fluff piece. A great popcorn film.

Movie Review How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days

How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days (2003) 

Directed by Donald Petrie 

Written by Kristen Buckley, Brian Regan, Burr Steers 

Starring Kate Hudson, Matthew McConaughey, Adam Goldberg, Michael Michele, Shalom Harlow 

Release Date February 7th, 2003 

Published February 6th, 2003 

In Almost Famous, Kate Hudson blew away audiences and critics with her beauty and talent. She had a charisma that melted the hearts of the audience and she and Billy Crudup had chemistry that melted the screen. Since that 1999 film, however, Hudson has struggled to recapture that star quality. Her latest attempt, the romantic comedy, How To Lose A Guy in 10 Days, is a step in the right direction, though she could have used a little better direction from director Donald Petrie.

Hudson is an advice columnist for a women's magazine, writing in-depth articles about how to get a date and how to shop for clothes. However, she longs to write about important things like politics and religion. When a friend loses another boyfriend, Andie gets the idea to write a column about all the things women do to screw up a relationship, an article that shares the title of the film. She and her friends descend upon a Manhattan bar to find the man who will provide the basis for her research.

At the bar is an advertising exec. Ben Barry, trying to save an account that his boss wants to give to another co-worker. The account is with a major diamond company, which his boss (Robert Klein) believes could be better served by two female execs (Michael Michele and Shalom Harlow). So Ben cuts a deal if he can prove he understands women he can keep the account. He can prove it by convincing a woman to fall in love with him in less than 10 days. Little does Ben know that his competitors know just the girl to choose, and Ben is introduced to Andie.

At first Andie is her cool sexy self, a package that a man who wasn't working on a bet couldn't resist. Their first date is all mind games with both Andie and Ben trying to gain the upper hand. After the first date hooks him, Andie sets her plan in motion. On the second date, she ruins Ben's time at a Knicks game. From there, she becomes the girlfriend from hell - clingy, and whiny and just generally abominable. Still, Ben is game; he refuses to give up. Not only because his professional life is riding on the relationship, but because there is still a little spark of the Andie he first met inside this frightening package.

The first half of the film is its strongest as these two likable, intelligent characters set the stage for their courtship, laying out the stakes and letting the games begin. On their first date as they jockey for position, I was reminded of a couple lines from an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is talking about her boyfriend who doesn't play games and Jerry's appalled response "No games? But how do you know who's winning".

As fun as the first half of the film seems, there was something wrong throughout it. Some scenes, like a fight outside of a movie theater or an embarrassing scene where Andie decides to name Ben's penis, play like extended takes where the actors continued ad-libbing while waiting for the director to call cut. Then there is the director's odd choice in some scenes, especially outdoor scenes, to cover the actors in this gauzy haze that reminded me of those lame Lifetime movies. It's the kind of haze Barbara Streisand uses to make herself look younger on camera. Why director Donald Petrie would think a woman as beautiful as Kate Hudson would need the help of this Vaseline lens is beyond me.

The film's biggest problem though is its inevitability. Falling into that same romantic comedy trap, the film throws up obstacles that are easy to overcome except that if they were overcome intelligently there wouldn't be a film. If Andie and Ben would be honest with each other after it was obvious that the relationship had grown past what they had intended, we wouldn't have to put up with the big reveal scene that you get in every romantic comedy. The scene that calls for each character to accidentally learn about the other's deception and get hurt and run away from each other only to get over it in the next scene, then cry, then kiss and live happily ever after. Been there and done that.

Director Donald Petrie is a master of this crowd pleasing, easily digestible, claptrap. His resume includes Miss Congeniality, My Favorite Martian and Grumpy Old Men. He is a pro director who knows how to point the camera but needs to pick scripts that are more entertaining. Too often Petrie's films skate on the charm of his actors. Though he is blessed with a pair of wonderfully charismatic actors in McConaughey and Hudson, he gives his actors so little to do that they at times look a little lost and forced to fend for themselves.

Movie Review: Deliver Us from Eva

Deliver Us from Eva (2003) 

Directed by Gary Hardwick 

Written by James Iver Mattson

Starring Essence Atkins, Robinne Lee, Meagan Goode, L.L Cool J, Duane Martin

Release Date February 7th, 2003 

Published February 6th, 2003 

The Dandridge sisters hit the genetic lottery; four unbelievably beautiful girls in just one family. Unfortunately, their parents passed away when they were young, leaving the oldest sister Eva (Gabrielle Union) to take care of her younger sisters Kareena (Essence Adkins), Bethany (Robinne Lee) and Jaqui (Meagan Goode).

Eva has spent so much time taking care of her sisters that she has never made much time for a personal life, and now that the sisters are older, she spends her time meddling in their personal lives. Both Kareena and Bethany are married--Kareena to Darrell, a businessman who would like to have a baby; however, Eva tells her sister that she doesn't think they are ready. Bethany is married to Tim, a postal worker who can't get any love because Bethany spends all her time studying at the behest of Eva. Meanwhile, Jaqui is dating a cop named Mike who would like nothing more than to spend the night after they make love but Eva says that good girls don't live with a man before they get married. (But apparently it's okay to sleep with him?)

With Eva in the way, the guys hatch a plan to get her off their backs. The plan involves a friend of Mike's who he claims is the ultimate player. LL Cool J is Ray who, for a fee of five grand, agrees to seduce Eva and convince her to leave town with him, then dump her and leave her wherever they leave to. It's a stupid plan of course with flaws that are quite evident to an intelligent moviegoer, but these guys aren't rocket scientists. So the guys introduce Ray and Eva and the two connect quickly.

Their first date is like a nightmare episode of the show Blind Date. Dinner at a fancy restaurant goes badly after Eva's job as a health inspector lands her in an uncomfortable situation with the restaurant manager.

After that horrible first date, Ray is ready to give up and give the guys their money back. Of course, if he did that there wouldn't be a movie. Of course, fate intervenes and Ray and Eva get another chance. Their next date goes very well and the relationship moves quickly but, because Eva likes Ray and Ray likes Eva the boys plans for getting rid of Eva go wrong. You see, before she met Ray, Eva was going to accept a job in another city, but now that she is with Ray she isn't going anywhere.

Well, as in most romantic comedies, it doesn't take much thought to figure this one out, though director Gary Hardwick does do some unusual and unexpected things. Unfortunately, what he does is so outlandish and over the top and the resolution of this over-the-top twist is so unsatisfying that it undermines the little the film has going for it.

What Deliver Us From Eva has going for it is a fiery romance between Union and Cool J that melts the screen. Their post-coital cuddle conversation is smart, fresh, and sweet and their attraction and chemistry is off the charts. Unfortunately, the supporting players and story is a letdown. The boys played by Duane Martin, Mel Jackson, and Dartanyan Williams are interchangeable parts that leave little impression. As for the younger sisters Meagan Goode, who was so hot in Biker Boyz, is again so very hot in this film though she has little time to make an impression. The same goes for Atkins and Lee who look great but are unmemorable.

Deliver Us From Eva is yet another formula romantic comedy. By the numbers, with a slight charm, it relies too heavily on its lead actors to make a bad script interesting, something very few actors can do and a challenge that is too overwhelming for even actors as talented as Union and LL.