Movie Review Shallow Hal

Shallow Hal (2001) 

Directed by The Farrelly Brothers

Written by The Farrelly Brothers 

Starring Jack Black, Gwyneth Paltrow, Tony Robbins, Jason Alexander

Release Date November 9th, 2001 

Published March 15th, 2002

The Farrelly Brothers have had an extremely hit and miss career, having created two of the best comedies of the last ten years, Kingpin and There's Something About Mary, and a couple of the worst, Dumb and Dumber, Say It Isn't So and Osmosis Jones. I'm glad to say that with their latest effort, Shallow Hal, starring Jack Black and Gwyneth Paltrow, the Farrelly's have a hit on their hands. The Hal of Shallow Hal is High Fidelity's wind up toy from hell Jack Black and he is back himself after the misfire of Saving Silverman.

Hal is an extremely self deluded jerk who believes that all that matters when it comes to women is physical beauty, neglecting the fact that he is no prize pig himself. Jason Alexander plays his best friend Mauricio who shares Hal's delusion to an even greater degree, Mauricio also has a few of those truly Farrelly Esqe physical features that payoff with big laughs. One day Hal gets locked in an elevator with self improvement guru Tony Robbins, in a surprisingly dexterous turn, who listens to Hal's life story and decides to help him by hypnotizing him into seeing people's inner beauty.

Then Hal meets Rosemary who he and we see as Gwyneth Paltrow but who is actually Gwyneth 300 hundred pounds heavier. This is where the film could have gone wrong. It could have gone very wrong with disgusting jokes at the expense of overweight people but the Farrelly's deftly turn it into an almost afterschool special like a lesson on not judging a book by its cover.

Don't get me wrong, the film is very funny and often raunchy, but the inner beauty message is laid on a little thick at times. Gwyneth Paltrow is amazingly sweet and beautiful even under 300 hundred pounds of makeup. She and Jack Black make a surprisingly fantastic pair with great chemistry and timing. Paltrow is a tad stiff with the Farrelly's brand of physical humor but she makes up for it with a go for the gusto laughter that is very endearing. 

The Farrelly Brothers, when they indulge in their sweet side as they did in both Kingpin and There's Something ABout Mary, and now in Shallow Hal, are quite good at introducing and taking care of sweet, vulnerable characters. It's the sweetness that rescues the often quite sour humor of The Farrelly Brothers whose raunchy jokes may not be for everybody but when they are delivered with earnest good nature, they can reach all audiences equally. 

Shallow Hal is the proof of concept that not all Farrelly Brothers characters have to be obnoxious or on all the time in order to draw out a laughter. The Farrelly's deploy romance like weapon and use it soften the blow from their more sophomoric style of humor. 

Movie Review Kate and Leopold

Kate & Leopold 

Directed by James Mangold 

Written by James Mangold, Steven Rogers

Starring Hugh Jackman, Meg Ryan, Liev Schreiber, Breckin Meyer, Natasha Lyonne, Bradley Whitford

Release Date December 25th, 2001 

Published January 24th, 2002 

There has been talk that romantic comedy is a dying genre. The plots and conventions of the genre have become too familiar and many filmgoers are growing more pessimistic about on-screen romance. Kate & Leopold may not be the film to breathe new life into this struggling genre but for what it is, a light little cookie of a film, it's not bad.

You know your watching a romantic comedy when Meg Ryan comes on screen wrinkling her cute button nose that screams, “Love me.” In this film she is the titular Kate, who is more concerned about getting ahead at her job in advertising than finding a meaningful relationship. Her last relationship was with a quirky scientist played by Liev Schreiber. Schreiber is trying to solve the puzzle of time travel so that he can travel through time to meet his great-great uncle Leopold (Hugh Jackman), an inventor who may hold the key to Liev's scientific writer’s block.

After accomplishing time travel he accidentally brings Leopold back to the future with him. From there Kate meets Leopold who she assumes is some method actor. Leopold is immediately drawn to Kate but she at first just thinks he's weird. There is something odd about him, he's chivalrous and well mannered and well spoken. Very unusual for the modern male, but then as we already know he's not modern at all.

The love story develops well and director James Mangold doesn't let the film’s gimmicky premise get in the way of Ryan and Jackman's wonderful chemistry. All great romantic comedies are based on the chemistry of the lead actors, as Ryan has shown with Tom Hanks and Billy Crystal previously.

In Kate & Leopold, Jackman shows himself a worthy replacement for Hanks. Jackman's best work is in his willingness to humiliate himself while holding on to his Victorian era dignity. Jackman becomes a star right in front of our eyes, breaking out of the action genre and proving he can do just about anything as an actor, as he would later demonstrate in a brilliant hosting gig on SNL.

Ryan is her natural cute self in Kate & Leopold, which isn't a bad thing. But there are moments where you can see she is beginning to tire of this kind of role. More than a couple times she looks outright bored by material that she has done more than a few times. Jackman and the very surprising comic turn by Schreiber save the film. He steals every scene he's in with a goofy energy we haven't seen from him before.

Kate & Leopold isn't anything you haven't seen before but as a Friday night rental to relax and watch with your girlfriend, it’s an enjoyable rent that will leave you smiling.

Movie Review The Majestic

The Majestic 

Directed by Frank Darabont 

Written by Michael Sloane

Starring Jim Carrey, Amanda Dettmer, Martin Landau, Hal Holbrook, Bob Balaban

Release Date December 25th, 2001

Published January 30th, 2002

The 50's are a decade easily evoked onscreen. Simply have kids with seriously greased hair, drab clothing, long dresses for women, business suits and fedoras for men, and the ubiquitous white picket fences. There you have the fifties, throw in a couple of cultural touchstones like the first decade of TV, I Like Ike buttons, and the Hollywood Communist witch-hunt and you've got a decade ready made for the movies. The decade is the easily evoked backdrop for Frank Darabont's The Majestic, the story of a Hollywood scriptwriter accused in the witch-hunts and asked to name names or be blacklisted.

The scriptwriter is Peter Appelton; played by Jim Carrey as a somewhat arrogant but affable guy who, to impress a girl, accidentally attends a communist rally and now faces the wrath of the House un-American Activities Committee. Peter is set to testify in two days but before that happens he has an accident that leaves him with amnesia and strands in the small town of Lawson, California where he is mistaken for the army hero son of the local theater owner Harry, played by Martin Landau.

Both Carrey and Landau are good but neither can overcome the screenplay, which aims at the heartstrings while ignoring the brain. Carrey does have an effective scene in front of the House un-American activities committee where he explains his attending the communist rally as simply a guy being horny.

Beyond that scene, which is smart and funny, the rest of the film is crammed with emotional set pieces so obvious that you know everything that's coming well before it comes and then are annoyed at how they are resolved. The ending is truly uninspired as if someone decided the film desperately needed a happy ending even if it was going to have to force it and compromise the little integrity the film had.

Jim Carrey is a good actor, he proved that in Man On the Moon and The Truman Show. In The Majestic he seems a little desperate as if he chose this film for the sole purpose of courting Oscar and that desperation comes through in a couple of forced scenes, one with a dying Landau and another later in a cemetery. Still, Carrey is the strongest part of The Majestic which suffers not only from its weak screenplay but also Darabont's 50's setting, chosen because of the Commie Hollywood witch-hunts. Other than that, Darabont relies on those tried and true 50's set pieces like crewcuts, fedora's and the like.

I prefer the "noirish" take on the decade as presented in films like LA Confidential with hipster lingo and the seedy underbelly. The type of setting where the witch-hunts were more meaningful because Hollywood stars would attend underground meetings in secret locations in places like the seedy smoke-filled halls of an Elmore Leonard novel. The Majestic prefers uplift to impact and that is its main failure.

Movie Review How High

How High (2001) 

Directed by Jesse Dylan 

Written by Dustin Abraham

Starring Method Man, Redman Mike Epps, Jeffrey Jones

Release Date December 21st, 2001 

Published August 1st, 2002 

I'm a total sucker for movies set in college. Maybe it's because I went to community college and never experienced real campus life, thus I enjoy the idealized versions on the big screen. I love movies like the small-time comedy PCU with Jeremy Piven or Reese Witherspoon's 2001 hit Legally Blonde, I even liked With Honors! So I had an immediate soft spot for How High, though it is more about pot than college. The classic college movie cliches are in place and their familiarity along with the stars' relaxed performances help make How High one of the funniest movies of the year.

The plot creates the quickest way to get two drug-addled goofs into Harvard where the typical culture clash cliches come up. Battles with white-bred jocks and overly officious school officials, and the obvious romantic angles. Yet I still found ways to like How High. The two lead rappers, Method Man and Redman, have such a relaxed manner onscreen they look like they've been doing it forever. For the record they both have acted before, Method Man showed the same relaxed manner and chops in Black & White, more than holding his own opposite people like Robert Downey JR and Ben Stiller.

Of course the title may suggest another origin for their laid back acting styles. Whatever it is, both Method Man and Redman are fun to watch and hysterically funny and the supporting players are even better, especially Mike Epps best known as Ice Cube's foil in Next Friday. Epps plays the funniest pimp since Antonio Fargas was Huggie Bear.

The film is directed by first-timer Jesse Dylan, and yes if you were wondering he is related to Jakob Dylan of the Wallflowers. He directed How High not as just a pot comedy but as a broad, over the top satire of college movies and it worked for me. I laughed almost from beginning to end.

How High is stupid, ridiculous and one of the funniest movies of the year. And more than likely, High Times movie of the year. 

Movie Review: The Royal Tenenbaums

Rushmore (2001) 

Directed by Wes Anderson

Written by Wes Anderson

Starring Gene Hackman, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, Gwyneth Paltrow, Anjelica Huston, Bill Murray, Danny Glover, Owen Wilson

Release Date December 14th, 2001 

Published December 24th, 2001 

In Rushmore, Wes Anderson took two very unique characters and used them to establish an unusual comic tone of irony and pathos that, for all it's quirks, seemed grounded in a weird sort of realty. In The Royal Tenenbaums, he applies that same unusual tone to an awesome ensemble cast to an even greater effect.

The Royal Tenenbaums is the story of a family of geniuses and the father who was the catalyst for their self destruction. Gene Hackman plays the father, the aptly named Royal Tenenbaum, a disgraced and disbarred lawyer whose luck and money have run out, and who now seeks to reconcile with the family he destroyed years earlier; not out of any emotional need for forgiveness, but rather because he just needs a place to crash.

Angelica Huston is Royal's soon-to-be-ex-wife, Etheline, a genius in her own right who is about to marry a man named Henry, played by Danny Glover. Luke Wilson is Richie Tenenbaum, a tennis prodigy washed up after a breakdown in the middle of a major match. Gwyneth Paltrow is Margot Tenenbaum (whom Royal makes a point of noting is adopted,) a genius playwright who wrote her first play at age 11 and has written nothing since. Ben Stiller is Chas, a widower who was a financial whiz at age 9, whose resentment of Royal is just one of the family's many dysfunctional aspects.

Bill Murray and Owen Wilson round out the cast in truly funny supporting roles. The whole cast is sensational, and though Stiller seems a little off key at times, everyone maintains this wondrous magical tone that makes the movie hum; never too loud, never too soft. Combine that brilliant tone with Mark Mothersbaugh's inspired score and the soundtrack of 60's tunes like the Beatles' "Hey Jude," and you have what amounts to a comedic symphony. The New York setting is as strange and wonderful as the rest of the film and when combined with the soundtrack give the film a feeling of timelessness. 

I don't know if there is a director I have higher hopes for than I do for Wes Anderson. I cannot wait to see what he does next. 

Movie Review Pinero

Pinero (2001) 

Directed by Leon Ichaso 

Written by Leon Ichaso

Starring Benjamin Bratt, Michael Wright 

Release Date December 14th, 2001 

Published March 1st, 2002 

On TV's “Law & Order,” Benjamin Bratt showed himself to be a capable dramatic actor. In 1999' Next Best Thing, co-starring with Madonna, he showed himself to be an actor who makes poor decisions. In his most recent work, Pinero, Bratt shows himself to be a future Oscar contender.

Pinero is the biography of the brilliant Puerto Rican writer and poet, Miguel Pinero. Born in Puerto Rico in 1941, Miguel and his family moved to New York City when he was 8 years old. Soon after arriving in New York Miguel's father walks out, leaving his mother to raise five children on her own. Without a father, Miguel quickly falls into a rough crowd and hooks up with his partner in crime, Tito Goya, played by Nelson Vasquez.

After a series of petty thefts and drug busts Miguel and Tito end up at Sing Sing prison where an inmate named Edgar, portrayed by Michael Wright, inspires Pinero to write a play called Short Eyes. After being released from prison, Pinero brings Short Eyes to Broadway and receives multiple Tony nominations. Pinero however is a volatile genius, who balances his good fortune with self-destructive behavior. Drugs and crime were the fuel of Pinero's creativity.

The film is not as linear as my description of it. Writer Director Leon Ichaso employs time shifts marked by changes from color in the present to black and white flashbacks to show what drove Miguel's genius and madness. The time shifts often make us in the audience a little off balance, and that’s appropriate in that Pinero himself is always off balance. The stylistic distorted narrative shifts help to bring the audience into Pinero's unapologetic perspective.

Of course the driving force behind Pinero is Benjamin Bratt whose performance singes the screen. The poetry sequences are mind blowing. With Pinero's words and Bratt's delivery every word has an impact. The use of metaphor and music is what made Pinero's poetry so distinctive and despite his addictions and behavior he still comes off as very intelligent, even brilliant.

Leon Ichaso's most well known piece before Pinero was 1992's Sugar Hill with Wesley Snipes, one the best gangster films of all time. In Sugar Hill, Ichaso showed his great ability to coax actors into great performances; he does so once again with Benjamin Bratt in Pinero.

Movie Review The Business of Strangers

The Business of Strangers (2001) 

Directed by Patrick Stettner

Written by Patrick Stettner

Starring Stockard Channing, Julia Stiles, Fred Weller

Release Date December 7th, 2001 

Published January 14th, 2002

I recently wrote of how there are so few good roles for women in Hollywood films. In the indie film The Business of Strangers, there are two excellent female characters. Two fantastic actresses brilliantly bring both to life and both are botched by a first time writer-director who really didn't know what he had.

The film stars Stockard Channing as Julie, vice president of a software company from which she may or may not be getting fired. As she is to make a presentation to potential clients, Julie's temporary assistant shows up late and the deal is blown. The temp is a 24-year old Dartmouth grad named Paula (Julia Stiles) who doesn't seem all that fazed by her screw up, that is until Julie fires her on the spot. Thus beginning an unusual confrontation between two strong willed people.

Julie, now even more concerned with losing her job, has dinner with a corporate job hunter named Nick (Fred Weller). Julie soon finds her job is more than safe and has no need for Nick. Circumstances bring the three characters back together in Julie's massive hotel suite with the women playing Nick and each other, testing limits of psychology and sexuality.

The film has the feel and tone of Richard Linklater's superior indie Tape, though this film is from the female perspective. A good idea but one that writer-director Patrick Stettner abandons in favor of a confusing and somewhat convoluted revenge plot. The Nick character is never allowed to develop and half way through the film you're left wondering why we are being treated to flashes of him waiting for a plane that never comes. The character exists solely to fill in as a plot focal point after Stettner ran out of barbed dialogue for his two leads.

The two leads, Channing and Stiles, are spectacular. They have excellent chemistry and if The Business Of Strangers had been allowed to focus on just the two of them then it might have been a more interesting story, albeit one better suited to the stage than the screen.

I'll say this for Stettner, his first full-length script is an ambitious one, filled with psychosexual head games on par with Neil Labute. What Stettner lacks is an interesting narrative, a story that lets the audience in on the characters motivations. You don't have to lead the audience like a dog on a leash, but the characters need to have some reason to be doing what it is they are doing. Channing and Stiles rock, but the story does their performances a disservice and keeps the film as a whole from meeting its potential.

Movie Review: Welcome to Mooseport

Welcome to Mooseport (2004) 

Directed by Donald Petrie 

Written by Tom Schulman 

Starring Gene Hackman, Ray Romano, Marcia Gay Harden, Christine Baranski, Maura Tierney 

Release Date February 20th, 2004

Published February 19th, 2004 

The transition from TV to the big screen is never without its growing pains. Jennifer Aniston endured films like The Object of My Affection before finding success in The Good Girl. Helen Hunt endured Twister before her Oscar nominated role in As Good As It Gets. For comedian Ray Romano, his growing to big screen stardom begins by enduring the comedic misfire Welcome To Mooseport. On the bright side, at least he got to work with Gene Hackman.

In Mooseport, Romano plays a small-town handy man named Handy. Handy owns a hardware store where a group of local oddballs hang out. His girlfriend is a veterinarian named Sally (Maura Tierney), who he's romanced for six years without mentioning marriage. Handy has also just landed a very lucrative gig fixing the bathroom of the summer home of the now former President of the United States.

Gene Hackman is Monroe Eagle Cole, the most popular former President in history, having left office with an 80 percent approval rating. This is despite the fact that he was the first President to divorce while in office. The former first lady, played by Christine Baranski, took everything but his former title and his summer home in Mooseport.

At a party celebrating the President's arrival a group of town elders asks the President if he would like to run for mayor. The current mayor has passed on and there is apparently no one else running. The President was going to say no until he meets Sally who suggests it would be a good idea. In an attempt to impress her the President takes the gig. Unfortunately, there is one other person who has decided to run. Handy.

This sets up what should be an interesting comic idea. A small town guy running for mayor against the former leader of the free world is a rich comic idea. Throw in the President’s two aides Grace (Marcia Gay Harden) and Bullard (Fred Savage) and it gains even more potential. However, director Donald Petrie (How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days, Miss Congeniality) is more interested in the romantic triangle between Romano, Tierney and Hackman and misses the endless opportunity for political satire.

Ray Romano is attempting to break loose from his TV persona and forge a career on the big screen. This role sadly will not help his case. Romano is stiff and often lifeless opposite a pro like Hackman who blows him off the screen. Hackman shows once again how great and underappreciated he is as a comic actor. He was the best part of the con-woman comedy Heartbreakers and he is by far the best thing in Welcome To Mooseport. Of the actors who have played the President of the United States onscreen, Hackman may be the most credible. Hackman has the persona, the gravitas that makes it very easy to believe he's the President. Not that it really matters in a film as dull and lifeless as this one.

Director Donald Petrie is another of those directors that delivers mediocre test screened comedies that studios love because they are inoffensive and more often than not cheap to produce. Welcome To Mooseport reeks of a film that was greenlit with the hope that it might be good but if it isn't, the studio can toss it on to the February schedule and watch it die a slow death before selling it on DVD and TV to cover the expenses. I hope they got their money's worth because that is apparently all that matters.

Movie Review: 50 First Dates

50 First Dates (2004) 

Directed by Peter Segal 

Written by George Wing 

Starring Adam Sandler, Drew Barrymore, Blake Clark, Sean Astin, Dan Akroyd, Rob Schneider

Release Date February 13th, 2004

Published February 14th, 2004  

Adam Sandler has charted a strange career trajectory to becoming the highest paid actor in Hollywood. His films have run the gamut from awful to extraordinarily awful.  Then came Punch Drunk Love, Sandler's teaming with indie genius P. T Anderson, an unbelievable transformation into a real actor. Unfortunately, it didn't last. Sandler quickly regressed with the dreadful cartoon 8 Crazy Nights and a pair of mediocre live action comedies, Mr. Deeds and Anger Management. His latest film, 50 First Dates, continues Sandler's weird career twists and turns. A film that combines Sandler's best work since Punch Drunk Love and more of his most juvenile humor.

In 50 First Dates, Sandler is Henry Roth, a ladies man of mythic proportion. His legend is spread by the innumerable woman he meets while living in the vacation capital of Hawaii. Bedding vacationers and sending them off with some story of secret identities, or any other number of lies, Henry does all he can to avoid romantic entanglements. That is, until Henry meets Lucy Whitmore (Drew Barrymore), a flighty blonde teacher who eats at the same café every morning, reading the same Sunday newspaper, wearing the same outfit.

Odd? Indeed, and the explanation is even weirder. It seems Lucy was in an accident a year ago and as a result suffered a head injury that destroyed her short-term memory. Every night when she goes to bed her mind resets to the day of the accident. Her father Marlin (Blake Clark) and brother Doug (Sean Astin), not knowing how to deal with the situation, choose to relive the same day with her until they can find some other way to deal with it.

Despite the complicated nature of Lucy's condition, Henry can't resist her charm and begins finding different ways to introduce himself to her everyday. Eventually he even wins over her family and the romance grows as Henry sets about making Lucy remember him somehow and making her fall in love again everyday.

It's a concept that requires some suspension of disbelief but with Drew Barrymore's performance, that suspension is not hard at all. Barrymore delivers her best performance since she made Sandler somewhat less painful to watch in The Wedding Singer. It is her surprisingly complex, sweet performance that sells the far fetched memory loss concept and helps Sandler raise his game to the point where he actually assuages his usually cocky, doofus persona for a more laid back romantic sweetness that really works for him.

This is still an Adam Sandler film however, and his trademark juvenility is still in place. The difference in this film is that instead of Sandler wallowing in the film’s low humor, director Peter Seagal and writer George Wing smartly lay the film’s worst jokes on the supporting cast. That includes Sean Astin, lowering himself from the Oscar caliber Lord of The Rings to a subpar subplot as Barrymore's steroid abusing brother and Lusia Strus, an asexual security guard. Sandler's usual backup guys like Rob Schneider and Allen Covert are also along for the ride.

These subplots don't work but written with some distance from the main romantic plot, they do allow Sandler some separation from his usual antics allowing him to focus on being a likable, believable romantic lead. He pulls it off with romantic flourish, and an acceptable amount of sappy sentimental romance.

This Valentine's treat is one of the better romantic comedies of the last few years. In a genre that has suffered from formulaic plots and tired clichés it's not hard for a film like 50 First Dates to stand out. Still, I must give Sandler credit, when he wants to he can surprise you.

Movie Review: Barbershop 2

Barbershop 2 Back in Business

Directed by Kevin Rodney Sullivan

Written by Don D. Scott 

Starring Ice Cube, Cedric the Entertainer, Sean Patrick Thomas, Eve, Troy Garity, Michael Ealy 

Release Date February 6th, 2004 

Published February 5th, 2004 

There is an insidious disease raging through Hollywood. It's a disease that can afflict any number of good films and seemingly good ideas. It happened to Men In Black, it happened to Jaws, it happened to Jurassic Park and countless other franchises. The disease is sequelitis, and it strikes when Hollywood executives try to take advantage of a successful product by forcing a mediocre money grabbing follow up. 

The latest casualty of sequelitis is the 2002 surprise hit Barbershop starring Ice Cube. The film’s surprise success, nearly 100 million in domestic box office for a film that only cost around 25 million to make, threw execs into a feeding frenzy leading to the creation of an inferior sequel made solely for the purpose of printing money.

Calvin and his charismatic crew of barbers are all back in the shop for another round of loud talking and head cuttin'. The crew, Eddie (Cedric The Entertainer), Ricky (Michael Ealy), Terri (Eve), Dinka (Leonard Earl Howze) and Isaac (Troy Garrity) are still hard at work. Eddie is still stirring things up with controversial topics ranging from Bill Clinton to the DC Sniper. Ricky is moonlighting at school getting his GED while romancing Terri. Dinka has a burgeoning romance with a girl from the neighboring hair salon and Isaac has become a star cutter even signing his work. The crew’s former teammate Jimmy has left the shop to work for a corrupt local alderman played by Robert Wisdom.

The story is a lethargic take on some of the same themes from the first film. In this case, it's the encroachment of big business chain stores in the shop’s southside Chicago neighborhood. A developer played by Harry Lennix is attempting to buy up the neighborhood and replace the tiny mom & pop stores with chains like Starbucks and a new hair salon called Nappy Cutz which he plans to open right across the street from Calvin's. Nappy Cutz offers food, massages, basketball and various other amenities to go with your hair cut.

Calvin tries to be competitive but in doing so, he nearly forgets why his shop became a neighborhood institution in the first place. The film is rounded out by an odd subplot involving Eddie's history in getting work in the barbershop and the woman he nearly married reappearing. The subplot is cute and well played by Cedric The Entertainer but it never feels like anything more than filler. Also on the filler side is a subplot that introduces Queen Latifah as Gina, one of the stylists at the beauty shop next door to Calvin's. The subplot is only in place to setup a spin-off series starring Latifah that will launch later this year.

The Beauty Shop spin-off looks kind of funny but also feels like another very cynical cash grab, another attempt to squeeze this Barbershop cash cow for more and more money.

Barbershop 2 has bright moments, it's just as smart and quick witted as the original film. However, it lacks that first film’s energy and coherence. Especially in its ending which wraps thing's up a little too easily and unsatisfyingly abrupt. Director Kevin Rodney Sullivan, picking up the reigns from Director Tim Story's original, can't seem to find a consistent theme. He has the set pieces, the likable characters and enough smart funny dialogue but not enough of a story to give it all proper context.

Barbershop 2 is not a bad film but it is obviously inferior to the original Barbershop. Another casualty of sequelitis.

Movie Review: The Big Bounce

The Big Bounce (2004) 

Directed by George Armitage 

Written by Sebastian Guttierez 

Starring Owen Wilson, Sara Foster, Charlie Sheen, Gary Sinise, Vinnie Jones, Morgan Freeman 

Release Date January 30th, 2004

Published February 3rd, 2004 

The books of Elmore Leonard have been adapted for the screen more than John Grisham’s have and almost as often as Stephen King’s have. And like Grisham and King’s adaptations, they are extremely hit and miss. When they're good, like Out Of Sight, Jackie Brown, or Get Shorty, they are very good. When they are bad they are very bad like 1997's Touch starring Skeet Ulrich. Or bad like the first time Leonard's novel The Big Bounce was brought to the screen in 1969--a humorless, dull caper flick with Ryan O'Neal and Leigh Taylor Young. The latest adaptation of The Big Bounce at least brings a little light humor to its throwaway caper plot, but it is just as inconsequential as the original and yet another letdown of it's source material.

The Big Bounce stars Owen Wilson as small time criminal Jack Ryan, a con man looking to lay low on the big island of Hawaii. Unfortunately, Jack is the type who can't avoid trouble and while working a construction gig, he can't help but draw the ire of his bosses, evil land developers played by Gary Sinise, Charlie Sheen and Vinnie Jones. Jack's one friend, Frank (Gregory Sporleder), isn't much help either, encouraging Jack to get back into the breaking and entering racket to help Frank pay off his numerous debts.

Then Jack meets real trouble in the form of his former boss's mistress Nancy (Sara Foster), a sun-baked surf goddess with a penchant for those unfortunate criminal types like Jack. Nancy is working an angle to steal money from Sinise's evil land developer and enlists Jack to help her pull it off. This begins a fun little romance plot with the very sexy Foster getting Wilson's surfer dude con-man into all sorts of trouble. All of which leads to a major twist involving a local judge played by Morgan Freeman and Sinise's drunkard wife played by Bebe Neuwirth.

In the Elmore Leonard universe of hip lingo and languid humor, The Big Bounce is a fun, if forgettable little story, sexy and surprising and always cool. In the film however every bit of humor is strained for and the coolness that Leonard has always injected through dialogue and setting is replaced by Wilson's charming surfer attitude. Wilson is charming and funny but out of place. His character is so laid back and care free that there never seems to be anything at stake.

For his part Sinise would seem to be pivotal in the plot but he is merely a cameo in the film. Instead, the bad guy slack is picked up by Sheen in a role that is badly miscalculated and mind blowingly out of place. Sheen's dunderheaded character is never a threat to anyone and thus has no weight in scenes where he is seemingly the heavy. His character's relationship with Wilson's character is confusing; are they friends? He did bail jack out of jail. They fight, but why they are fighting and why does nothing of consequence happen after the fight? It all just adds to the confounding dynamic between Wilson and Sheen.

For his part, Owen Wilson is the film’s best asset. His laid back charm is fun and enjoyable but it has little context. The romance with Foster is fun and sexy, Foster is unbelievably gorgeous, but the plot is Byzantine in explaining whether they have feelings for one another or not and is noncommittal about those feelings all the way to the films unsatisfying conclusion.

On the bright side, when it's freezing cold and there is a foot of snow on the ground it is nice to escape for ninety or so minutes of fun in the sun on the beaches of Hawaii. But that is not nearly enough for me to recommend The Big Bounce. 

Movie Review: Win a Date with Tad Hamilton

Win a Date with Tad Hamilton (2004) 

Directed by Robert Luketic 

Written by Victor Levin 

Starring Topher Grace, Kate Bosworth, Josh Duhamel, Sean Hayes, Nathan Lane, Ginnifer Goodwin

Release Date January 23rd, 2004

January 22nd, 2004

There have been a number of films made about big stars coming to small towns and stirring up a frenzy. My favorites are State and Main, David Mamet's caustic, witty satire of Hollywood and Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael, a sadly underrated eighties movies lost in the crush of John Hughes clones. The latest entry into this small sub-genre is Win A Date With Tad Hamilton! starring Kate Bosworth and Topher Grace, a film in the spirit of Roxy but desperately in the need of Mamet's wit.

The Tad Hamilton of the title is Josh Duhamel from TV's “Las Vegas.” Duhamel's Tad is your typical Hollywood bad boy with a serious image problem. His managers, two of them both named Richard Levy (Sean Hayes and Nathan Lane), have to rehab his bad boy image in order to land a plum film role. The idea they come up with is straight out of some ultra-wholesome fifties teen beat style magazine, "Win A Date With Tad Hamilton".

The winner of the dream date is 22 year old Rosalee Futch (Kate Bosworth), a grocery store clerk from a small town in West Virginia. Rosalee is flown out to LA, put up in a great hotel suite and finally has her date with the man of her dreams, Tad. The date is perfectly chaste, especially by Tad's usually debauched standards, but Tad ends up feeling a real connection with the small town girl who has all the good qualities that he lacks.

Once Rosalee returns to West Virginia and to the welcoming arms of her two best friends, Cathy (Ginnifer Goodwin) and Pete (Topher Grace), it seems that Tad Hamilton was a one time adventure. That is certainly what Pete was thinking when he decided to reveal to Rosalee that he's been in love with her for years. Of course, wouldn't you know it, before Pete can reveal his feelings in walks Tad Hamilton.

This sets up a very conventional romantic triangle plot. A plot that has been done a thousand times and isn't much improved on here. What makes it slightly more tolerable in this film is the terrific comic performance of “That 70's Show” star Topher Grace. With his quick wit, neurotic shyness and lack of movie star handsomeness, he evokes a sort of Midwestern Woody Allen. His Peter gets the best one-liners of the film and it's most poignant moments and makes a rather mediocre story better just for having him.

That is not to say the film doesn't have other good qualities but most of the good in Win A Date With Tad Hamilton! must be embellished by the audience. The film introduces some interesting story ideas but only glosses over them without ever exploring them. A scene in a bar between Grace and a bartender character played by Kathryn Hahn introduces an idea about everyone’s romantic ideal and how the Tad character is a representation of a romantic ideal that isn't real. The idea that everyone ideallizes the person they are in love with but that ideal is only in our mind.

The film also has a knowing sense of pop culture and uses it to good effect in it's ending. The idea of pop culture's growing role in the daily lives of younger generations and the way it shapes our memories in celluloid is an interesting idea but an unexplored idea in this film. Had director Robert Luketic, also the director of another piece of pop candy Legally Blonde, decided to further explore either of the interesting ideas the film introduces, this could have been a great movie. As it is, it’s merely another exercise in the teen-friendly romance genre.

Win A Date With Tad Hamilton! is not a bad film but not a great film. What it really is, is an announcement of the arrival of Topher Grace as a leading man. In his biggest film role to date, Grace makes a terrific impression and I really look forward to seeing him on the big screen more.

Movie Review The Butterfly Effect

The Butterfly Effect (2004) 

Directed by Eric Bress, J Mackye Gruber 

Written by Eric Bress, J Mackye Gruber 

Starring Ashton Kutcher, Amy Smart, Ethan Suplee, Logan Lerman, Melora Waters 

Release Date January 23rd, 2004 

Published January 22nd, 2004 

There is a classic Simpsons Halloween Special in which Homer attempts to fix the toaster and ends up turning it into a time machine. Every time Homer travels through time, he does something stupid that changes the future. I kept flashing back to this work of comic genius all throughout the new Ashton Kutcher sci-fi drama, The Butterfly Effect. The stories are similar but also, I had nothing better to do while the film kept repeating itself into oblivion.

Ashton Kutcher stars as Evan Treborn, a psych major at some nameless college. Evan has had an odd path to college involving a memory loaded with potholes he longs to fill. Evan gets his chance to restore his memories when he rediscovers his childhood journals. After a fainting spell brings back one of his lost memories, Evan is led back to his hometown and the girl he left behind, Kayleigh, played by Amy Smart.

Kayleigh and Evan were childhood sweethearts before Evan's mother (Melora Waters) moved the family away. Now Kayleigh is a waitress trapped in her hometown that has become a prison. When Evan shows up wanting to reminisce and Kayleigh is less than thrilled and the encounter unlocks a load of  bad memories for her. These memories are so bad in fact that Kayleigh takes her own life.

Shocked and saddened by Kayleigh’s death, Evan begins experimenting with his memories, eventually discovering that if he concentrates hard enough he can travel back in time and change his traumatic past. Using his childhood journals as his guide, Evan goes back and changes the past to save Kayleigh's life. When he awakens, things have indeed changed. Evan is now a popular frat guy and Kayleigh has joined him at college. The two are planning to be married. The odd thing is, Evan can remember everything that he changed.

As any number of Star Trek episodes can tell you, when you change the past you affect not just your future but everyone's future. So while Evan may have saved Kayleigh's life and seems to have set them both on an idyllic path, he neglected the futures of the other people in his past. They include Kayleigh's nutball brother Tommy and their friend Lenny (Elden Henson). Tommy tragically ends the perfect future Evan thought he wanted, forcing Evan to go back and change something else which also ends tragically and again and again and again until the audience wishes we could go back in time and get our money back.

There is no doubt that this is an interesting concept. Who doesn't have a small portion of their past they would like an opportunity to change? This is certainly not the first time this material has been attempted either. There’s the aforementioned Simpsons' episode, each of the Star Trek series, and most recently on the big screen in the latest adaptation of H.G Wells' The Time Machine. The problem with the device in The Butterfly Effect is that the film never establishes either likable characters or a scientific basis for Evan's abilities.

The character of Evan is essentially a selfish, amoral, whiner. His only concern is for himself and manipulating the past for his benefit until the end and that includes saving Kayleigh for himself. Evan's motivation was supposed to be his love for Kayleigh. Unfortunately, Kutcher and Smart have little to no chemistry.

The film’s themes don't make the film any easier to enjoy. The things that Evan, Kayleigh and their friends go through include, physical and emotional abuse, child porn, animal cruelty, and manslaughter. Not to mention the time that Evan's mentally deranged father tried to kill him. The film is meant to be dark, I get that, but this is really dark.

The saddest thing about The Butterfly Effect is the fact that the trailer was so terrific. Watching the trailer as it debuted back in December, I was ready to give the goofy Ashton Kutcher the benefit of the doubt in his first dramatic performance. Kutcher was not up to the challenge and The Butterfly Effect does not live up to the promise of the trailer. This is a sad, depressing, dark film.

Movie Review: Bread and Tulips

Bread and Tulips (2001) 

Directed by Silvio Soldini

Written by Silvio Soldini 

Starring Licia Maglietta 

Release Date July 27th, 2001 

Published December 14th, 2001 

Is there any city in the world more beautifully filmed than Venice? Whereas New York is charismatic and vibrant and Paris remains unique and colorful, Venice is breathtakingly beautiful on screen. I have never been there but someday I hope to go there and if I'm lucky I'll meet people like the characters in Silvio Soldini's lovely film Bread & Tulips.

The film that swept Italy's equivalent of the Oscars, known as the David's, stars Licia Maglietta as Rosalba, a 40-ish neglected mother of three. And when I say neglected I mean it. While on a family vacation, the family accidentally forgets Licia at a rest stop and her insensitive husband Mimmo (Antonio Catania) blames her the mix up. Feeling rebellious, Licia decides not to wait for her family to come get her and she hitches a ride home. Once there she begins to feel restless and decides that she needs a vacation of her own and takes off for Venice.

Once in Venice she has dinner at a little restaurant where she meets a waiter named Fernando (Bruno Ganz). After her meal, Licia asks Fernando if he knows a place where she can stay and he offers to let her stay with him for a night.

One night turns into two and before long Licia takes a job and begins renting a room in Fernando's apartment. Licia's husband meanwhile can't get his mistress to do the housework and decides he needs to bring his wife back. Mimmo hires Constantino, a plumber who was merely applying for a position as a plumber when Mimmo noticed he listed detective novels as a hobby. Instead of hiring Constantino as a plumber he hires him as a detective to go to Venice and find is wife.

Guisseppe Battiston plays Constantino and he brings a wonderful comedic element to the film with his bumbling attempts to ape his detective novel heroes. Constantino also has a love interest in Licia's new neighbor Grazia (Maria Massironi) who describes herself as holistic beautician and masseuse.

The film, directed by Silvio Soldini, is charming and fun the characters are sweet and sensitive. Extra credit to Ganz for his heartfelt performance as Fernando who, when we first meet him, is considering suicide. Licia unknowingly restores Fernando and he does the same for her, though not with your typical romantic comedy stops and starts. The courtship is slow and steady and never forced. The audience feels for these characters beginning to end. 

Of course the real star of Bread & Tulips is the city. It's small shops and cobbled streets have unending charm. 

Bread & Tulips is at times a little too cute but still a charming film populated by sweet characters and worth seeing as long as you don't mind reading a movie. Yes, Jethro, this one has subtitles so put it down and go grab Joe Dirt. 

For you intelligent filmgoers, sit down and lose yourself in this gem of a film.

Movie Review: Blow Out

Blow Out (1981) 

Directed by Brian De Palma

Written by Brian De Palma 

Starring John Travolta, Nancy Allen, John Lithgow, Dennis Franz 

Release Date July 21st 1981 

Published July 20th, 2001 

Style over substance, technique over plot. Just some of the many things said of Brian De Palma's directorial style. In Blow Out we are treated to a rare De Palma effort that combines style and brains for an entertaining suspense filled ride. If only De Palma weren't so enamored of Nancy Allen.

In Blow Out, John Travolta is a movie sound man who, while standing on a bridge recording ambient outdoor noise, witnesses a car go off the road and into the river below him. After saving the car’s female passenger played by Nancy Allen, and taking her the hospital he finds that the man killed in the accident was a popular presidential candidate. After being told that the events of the evening were to be covered up he then discovers the accident wasn't really an accident and Travolta becomes obsessed with finding the truth.

De Palma's long languid tracking shots and unique camera work is once again on display and added to it is a love of sound appropriate for a movie about a movie sound man. The film makes great use of surrounding noise and microphones. Travolta's character is a former police expert in surveillance, which is put to excellent use in the film’s tragic crescendo. The films main flaw is lead actress Nancy Allen whose tiresome whine makes you want to root for John Lithgow's nut-job serial killer to cut her heart out. 

Thankfully De Palma's direction and Travolta's cool obsessiveness save this first rate thriller that is one of De Palma's best. 

Movie Review: Ali

Ali (2001) 

Directed by Michael Mann 

Written by Eric Roth, Michael Mann, Christopher Wilkinson 

Starring Will Smith, Jamie Foxx, Jon Voight, Mario Van Peebles, Ron Silver, Jeffrey Wright 

Release Date December 25th, 2001 

Published April 15th, 2002 

The life of Mohammed Ali is one of the most fascinating ever lived, a life that should be dramatized for the big screen and make for a great film. 

Unfortunately, this is not that film. 

The film covers a ten-year span of Ali's life from his victory over Sonny Liston in 1964 to his dramatic victory over George Foreman in Zaire in 1974. Michael Mann gives us a feel of Ali's personal life, his battle with his father over his conversion to Islam, his relationships with his wives and his relationship with Malcolm X. However all of these scenes feel disjointed. Director Michael Mann seems to keep the audience at a distance instead of allowing us into the mind of Ali. With dialogue, Mann uses the film's soundtrack of 60's R & B tunes to deliver the emotion and at times even replace actual dialogue. 

It's likely that Mann knows many of us are already quite familiar with Ali's many public challenges and doesn't feel the need to go into much detail. But why then does he muddle the timeline of the champ's career? If Mann believed the audience to be overly familiar with Ali's story, why does he leave out important moments of the champ's career such as the infamous phantom punch in the second Liston fight and his two rematches with Joe Frazier? 

The boxing scenes in Ali are quite good with Mann getting in the ring with a handheld camera and putting the audience right in the match. The camerawork in the boxing scenes is phenomenal and star Will Smith is surprisingly credible, trading punches with real boxers including former middleweight champion James Toney who plays Smokin' Joe.

As for Will Smith he's very good, not quite Oscar good in my opinion but good. Smith evokes many of Ali's most recognizable attributes such as his brashness and vocal cadence. He also handles the emotional elements very well, especially the difficulties in Ali's personal life. Unfortunately, Smith is let down by director Mann who forgoes Smith's dialogue in favor the film's soundtrack as I described earlier. 

Movie Review: The Accidental Spy

The Accidental Spy (2001) 

Directed by Teddy Chan 

Written by Ivy Ho

Starring Jackie Chan, Scott Adkins 

Release Date January 18th, 2001 

Published September 4th, 2001 

Never having been a fan of Jackie Chan, I'm not sure why I rented The Accidental Spy. I respect Chan for his work ethic and impressive stunt coordination. However, his acting leaves much to be desired. That is probably because he doesn't speak English very well. Therefore, it may be an unfair judgment on my part. I'm told his early work in Hong Kong is far more spectacular than his recent Hollywood fare. 

I'm sure that's true because his Hollywood stuff, no matter how good the stunts are, are still typical brainless crowd-pleasers with no real point of view; just strung together action scenes and a couple of humorous one liners. So now, I'm still wondering what made me rent The Accidental Spy, and still don't have a clue.

As we join the story we meet Buck (Chan) an affable fitness store clerk. After a tough day at work, Buck foils a bank robbery. The robbery leads to his receiving a letter from a lawyer informing him of his dying father and a possible multimillion-dollar inheritance.

An intrigued Buck meets his father, who was thought to have died in the Korean War. In reality, Dad was a secret agent. Now on his deathbed he offers his son the chance to win a large inheritance. To do so, he must trek to Turkey and uncover a safety deposit box, which contains more than just cash. All the while, Buck is being chased by drug dealers whom his father was secretly doing business with. 

The Accidental Spy is an odd film. At times it's typical Chan slapstick and chop-socky, but it also wants to be taken seriously as it introduces one of two love interests--a young girl hooked on drugs and enslaved by Buck's pursuers. The odd switch in tone never comes together and Chan's tomfoolery deflates any drama the film might have had, making The Accidental Spy a very uneven, and at times dull, movie. 

As time goes by it's no surprise that Chan's action stunts slow down a little, and you can see it in this film, which has as much exposition and dialogue as it does fight scenes. As you can imagine, exposition isn't Jackie's strong suit and the awful overdubbing of American voices over Chinese faces makes the dialogue almost unbearable. That said, I will not judge Jackie Chan's Hong Kong oeuvre by this one film. In fact, I am going to make a point of seeing more Hong Kong movies as a way of broadening my horizons. 

Maybe that is why I rented The Accidental Spy. 

Movie Review: Amelie

Amelie (2001) 

Directed by Jean Pierre Jeunet

Written by Jean Pierre Jeunet 

Starring Audrey Tautou, Matthieu Kassovitz 

Release Date September 1st, 2001 

Published December 26th, 2001 

Working at a video store I've developed more than a few video pet peeves. One that sticks out is when a foreign film is released and some Jethro with a mullet asks me (direct quote) "Do I have to read this video". After resisting the urge to beat them senseless with the video in question I explained that the film is subtitled. Jethro then returns the film to the shelf and retrieves, I swear this is true, a copy of Joe Dirt. I bring this up because it won't be long until the brilliant French subtitled film Amelie will be out on video.

Indeed, Jethro will not be seeing Amelie and it's his loss because it's one of the best films of the last 12 months. Audrey Tautou stars as the title character who after discovering a box of childhood toys belonging to a previous tenant in her apartment sets out to return the memories to this man, and if it makes a difference to him she will do the same for others. Indeed the man is touched and Amelie, witnessing the man's joy from afar, begins her journey to spread joy to others. 

Along the way she meets and inspires an invalid artist, gives a blind man a tour of the world and encounters a young man named Nino who may be able to change her life. Nino, played by Daniel Kassovitz, and the courtship between his character and Amelie is one of the most unique dances of fate we've ever witnessed. Tautou and Kassovitz barely speak to each other but their courtship is very believable as it leads its obvious conclusion.

Director Jean Pierre Jeunet (Alien Resurrection) shows a flair for beautiful visuals that make France look like the most beautiful place on Earth. Jeunet's camera clearly loves Tautou whose expressive eyes, often seen in tight mischievous close-ups, may become a calling card on par with Angelina Jolie's lips and Julia Roberts' teeth.

Amelie is not a perfect film. At times it's flights of fancy are like a French version of Ally McBeal. Nevertheless it is a wonderfully romantic and lovely movie that should make Audrey Tautou a huge international star.

Movie Review: 40 Days and 40 Nights

40 Days and 40 Nights (2002) 

Directed by Michael Lehmann 

Written by Robert Perez

Starring Josh Hartnett, Shannyn Sossomon, Paulo Costanzo, Vinessa Shaw, Griffin Dunne, Monet Mazur

Release Date March 1st 2002 

Published February 27th 2002 

In the 1980's, guys attempting to get laid became a genre all it's own. In the 90's however, political correctness threatened to destroy the horny guy movie. Now in 2002, things have become so inverted that we have a film featuring a guy doing all he can to not get laid. What is this world coming to? 40 Days & 40 Nights stars Josh Hartnett as Matt, a web designer recovering from a bad breakup by having a lot of meaningless sex. After finding sex not to be the answer, Matt decides to go in the opposite direction, no sex at all. 

Of course it is then that he meets the girl of his dreams, Erica (Shannyn Sossamon). Matt decides to try to just be friends with Erica but mistakenly does not explain his current no-sex crusade. Matt's friend and Roommate Ryan (Road Trip's Paulo Costanzo) finds out what he's up to and seize the opportunity to start a website to take bets as to whether Ryan can hold out the full 40 days. 

From there we are treated to the usual romantic comedy situations that desperately throw up lame roadblocks to keep the lovebirds apart. Of course all of the complications could be avoided if the characters were honest with one another, but if they did that there wouldn't be any movie. Director Michael Lehman obviously knew his story was weak so he also throws in a little gross-out humor to fill out the film’s just-over-90 minute runtime.

40 Days & 40 Nights is a well-crafted film. It is well shot, the performances are good. Hartnett occasionally looks like he is straining for the joke, but for the most part comes off as the likeable doofus the character is supposed to be.

In the end the film isn't bad but it is far from memorable. It is the definition of average.

Movie Review: Torque

Torque (2004) 

Directed by Joseph Kahn 

Written by Matt Johnson

Starring Martin Henderson, Ice Cube, Monet Mazur, Adam Scott, Jay Hernandez

Release Date January 16th, 2004

Published January 16th, 2004

The trailer for Torque is so eye-rollingly derivative as to bring about a physically painful reaction. The trailer inspired in me a groan of such depth it's almost indescribable. The trailer is as big, dumb and loud as any full-length action movie of the last ten years. Ear splitting metal music, dopey, mock tough guy dialogue and stunts so hokey they are beyond laughable. But it would be unfair to review the film based solely on the trailer so I actually went to see Torque and found exactly what the trailer promised it would be and worse.

Martin Henderson stars as motorcycle tough guy/ underwear model (okay not really an underwear model but you know what I mean), Cary Ford. Cary has just returned from Thailand where he was hiding from the Feds after being sought on drug charges. Cary has returned to California to set things right with the cops and get back the girl he left behind, Shane played by Monet Mazur.

With a pair of his old motorcycle buddies, Dalton (Jay Hernandez) and Val (Will Yun Lee), Cary makes his way back to LA but not without starting trouble with the motorcycle gang The Reapers, headed up by Trey (Ice Cube). Cary is able to reconnect with Shane though she fights it for a few minutes. Cary also reconnects with the guy who set him up on the drug charge, a fellow biker named Henry James (Matt Schulze). Cary still has Henry's drugs stashed somewhere and Henry wants them back. Rather than just kick Cary's ass and get the drugs back that way, Henry sets up Cary for the murder of Trey's brother (Rapper Fredro Starr). Henry will help Cary get away from Trey if Cary gives him his drugs back.

Why Henry can't just directly intimidate Cary into giving him his drugs back instead of setting up this byzantine murder plot that also involves a pair of FBI agents played by Dane Cook and Justina Machado, is one of the film’s innumerable plot issues. Then again, why do you need a plot when you have cool looking motorcycles?

Herein lies the problem with Torque. I was willing to give 2 Fast 2 Furious a pass because that film was laughably bad but had the coolest cars. Paul Walker is a terrifically bad actor, so bad that it's enjoyable to have him onscreen just to make fun of him. Torque on the other hand wants to be a better film than 2 Fast 2 Furious and it wants you to know it with lame little jokes about motorcycles being cooler and faster than cars. Unfortunately the motorcycles aren't cooler than the cars and the superior attitude of the film is badly misplaced.

Martin Henderson is a better actor than Paul Walker, which presents a different problem because there isn't much to make fun of. None of the material in the script for Torque is very good yet as delivered by Henderson it's not so terrifically bad that we can make fun of it. It's all just sort of there…it's not good, it's not bad, it's just a dull and derivative.

The action in Torque isn't all that shabby. First-time director Joseph Kahn is a pretty good technician behind the camera and he shoots some okay action stuff. None of it however rises to the memorably ridiculous levels of the worst of Bruckheimer and Bay or even it's cousins, The Fast and The Furious, and it's sequel. Sure Torque is big, it's dumb and it's loud, but in a more mediocre and far less interesting way than in a memorably good or awful way.

It's odd, I'm almost disappointed at how good Torque is. Let me correct that, I meant to say how bad it is but not as bad as it should have been to be good. It's a bad movie, but it's not bad in the way that 2 Fast 2 Furious or The Rock or Gone In 60 Seconds is bad. Torque isn't bad in that campy, fun unintentional way. It's just a bad movie and that's it.