Movie Review Mr Woodcock

Mr. Woodcock (2007) 

Directed by Craig Gillespie 

Written by Michael Carnes, Josh Gilbert 

Starring Billy Bob Thornton, Seann William Scott, Susan Sarandon, Ethan Suplee, Amy Poehler, Melissa Sagemiller 

Release Date September 14th, 2007 

Published September 13th, 2007 

Billy Bob Thornton has managed the art of being a curmudgeon like no actor since the late George C. Scott. Thornton's every expression is a pained movement he is forced into by having to interact with others. This expertise in being a curmudgeon served him well as the drunken Santa Claus in Bad Santa. However, that same curmudgeon act was a bore in the 2005 remake of The Bad News Bears.

Now, Thornton brings his curmudgeon act to a new comedy called Mr. Woodcock and like Bad News Bears, the context fails to make the act funny. Rather, what we get in Mr. Woodcock is Thornton as a truly thorny character whom we never enjoy watching and who offers few moments of levity. Kind of an odd character for a comedy, don't you think?

John Farley (Seann William Scott) was traumatized as a kid by a sadistic gym teacher. That teacher was Mr. Woodcock (Billy Bob Thornton) and just over a decade since he delighted in tormenting chubby young John Farley, he's entering his life again. John, now a successful self help guru; with a popular book about letting go of painful memories, returns to his Nebraska home town to visit his mother (Susan) and to his horror, finds mom is dating Mr. Woodcock.

This sets up a confrontation between John and Mr. Woodcock that should be a hilarious battle of wills? Or, maybe a comedy of misunderstandings? No. Maybe? Hmm. How about a slapstick comedy or a gross out comedy? No. In fact, Mr. Woodcock isn't really much of a comedy at all. Don't get me wrong, I sensed an intent on the part of director Craig Gillespie for Mr. Woodcock to be a comedy, it's just not funny.

Billy Bob Thornton is believably cruel and sadistic as the evil old gym teacher. However, he is in fact so convincing and so dispiriting that he sucks the comic life right out of the movie. Woodcock is such a jerk that there is simply no joy to be taken from watching him. This leaves Seann William Scott's John to carry all of the film's humor and in this character he just can't do it, not many actors could.

Where, in the American Pie movies, and the underrated actioner The Rundown, Seann William Scott showed an energetic comic presence, in Mr. Woodcock, Scott is a wishy washy presence who we never have any respect for. Set up as some kind of Dr. Phil wannabe, Scott's John Farley is no match, at any point, for Billy Bob Thornton's Woodcock.

The only humor in Mr. Woodcock comes in the supporting performances of Ethan Suplee, as one of John Farley's former classmates, and Amy Poehler as John's alcoholic press agent. Yes, Suplee is basically doing  a small variation on his My Name Is Earl sidekick but he is nevertheless a humorous oasis in the comic desert that is Mr. Woodcock.

Ms. Poehler too is only doing a variation of characters we have seen before. What she brings to the role is a sharp energy that though not original, is at the very least funnier than anything else we have to deal with in Mr. Woodcock.

The biggest disappointment in Mr. Woodcock is also in the supporting cast. Susan Surandon plays John's mom and I was left wondering, why? This role holds nothing for Ms. Surandon to do other than be Susan Surandon. Her character has nothing funny to offer, aside from looking rather ridiculous in an oversized dress proclaiming her the Corn Queen of 1970, which admittedly made me smile, briefly.

However, this role could have been played by any number of different actresses without affecting the role in any way. Susan Surandon is far too big a star for such a throwaway role.

Mr. Woodcock is a mean-spirited, unfunny take on the same character Billy Bob Thornton has been playing since he escaped the world of the character actor. The character, to my estimation, is getting less and less funny with every outing and Mr. Thornton would do well to find himself a character who smiles once in a while or is, at the very least, not such a buzzkill.

If he must play a buzzkill there must be some way to make that funny. Mr. Woodcock never finds a way to make this buzzkill funny, he's just a jerk.

Movie Review Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2008) 

Directed by Bharat Nalluri 

Written by David Magee, Simon Beaufoy 

Starring Frances McDormand, Amy Adams, Lee Pace, Ciaran Hinds, Mark Strong 

Release Date March 7th, 2008 

Publoshed March 8th, 2008 

From the awkward title to the pre-world war two England setting there is nothing all that hip about Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day. However, with a cast that includes Oscar winner Frances McDormand and Oscar nominee Amy Adams there is more than just potential. A terrific trailer with the palette, now the movie is in theaters and this seemingly un-hip period piece proves to be a smart, funny, romantic and sexy romp. Directed by first-time feature helmer Bharat Nalluri, Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day offers surprises at every turn and top notch performances from two of the best actresses working today.

London in the late 1930's lived under the cloud of potential war. With Germany on the march on the continent, the British Isles were in a war stance that left many residents out in the cold. Jobs were as scarce as most resources and among the affected as our story begins is Miss Pettigrew (Frances McDormand). Having been fired from her third stint as a governess, Miss Pettigrew finds herself on the streets. When told by the employment agency that she is no longer desired as a child care worker, Miss Pettigrew takes a chance and steals a job off her ex-boss's desk.

She assumes the lead is for another governess position. However, when she arrives at the flat of Delyssia Lafosse (Amy Adams) she has a few unexpected moments. Miss Lafosse has no children. Her need is for someone to keep an eye on her. She is balancing romances with three different men who offer three very different but important choices for her. There is Tom (Phil Goldman) a playwright and producer who has the power to give Delyssia her big break in his next West End offering. Then there is Nick (Mark Strong) the owner of the nightclub where Delyssia performs and the man who bankrolls her flat and her lifestyle.

And finally there is Michael (Lee Pace) , a piano player fresh from a prison stint. He has been her loyal piano man for a long time as well as her best friend and likely her true love. Michael wants Delyssia to run away to America with him and she with him but it would mean giving up her comforts and her shot at fame and fortune. Each of these relationships comes to a head in one day with the arrival of Miss Pettigrew who accepts the job of social secretary, her real job is more well described as boyfriend wrangler. As Delyssia romances one man, Miss Pettigrew distracts and disposes of the others.

My description makes Delyssia sound like a bad person but as played by the high energy, super-cute Amy Adams she is a fresh and spirited young woman doing anything she can to survive in hardscrabble times. Adams and McDormand are perfect foils as Adams is high spirited and sexy, McDormand is level headed with a quick, observant wit. Both women bring dignity and strong willed self respect to these two desperate characters but it is their spirit in front increasingly desperate moments that is truly winning. There is nothing like watching talented actresses in roles that are their equal. It is so rare and such a treat.

The supporting cast of boyfriends and even a love interest for Miss Pettigrew, is top notch lead by the especially winning Lee Pace. Fans of the show Pushing Daisies know that Pace can play deadpan as well as loving puppy dogs. He plays both exceptionally well in Miss Pettigrew, providing the rooting interest among Delyssia's many suitors. Ciaran Hinds gets a rare good guy role as a rich, lingerie designer who decides to give up his life of models and socialites for a woman who is his equal in every way including age.

Bharat Nalluri's last effort was the massive TV movie Tsunami: Aftermath a true life tale of the survivors of the devastating wave that ravaged the coast of Thailand in 2005. That film showed he could handle large scale effects and grand emotional arcs as well as smaller human moments. Here Nalluri shows an unexpected talent for old school farce with a touch of the British Upstairs/Downstairs comedy. It's a deft, quick witted effort that also manages to be romantic and even sexy. Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day is a terrific little movie and one of the few must sees of early 2008.

Movie Review The Man from Elysian Fields

The Man from Elysian Fields (2001) 

Directed by George Hickenlooper 

Written by Phillip Jason Lasker

Starring Andy Garcia, James Coburn, Julianna Margulies, Mick Jagger, Olivia Williams 

Release Date September 27th, 2002 

Published May 24th, 2003 

Woman: Are you the man from Elysian Fields?

Man: Is it that obvious?

Just what is this Man From Elysian Fields? Well it's a rare breed of well written, charming, intelligent filmmaking that respects the intelligence and wit of its audience. A film of great wit, that is not afraid to be adult and doesn't compromise itself to the marketplace. Essentially, it's the kind of film I wish there were more of.

The film stars Andy Garcia as Byron Tiller, a down on his luck novelist who spends his free time in bookstores enticing people to buy his novel, a lame thriller called Hitler's Son. Saddened by the fact that after less than a year his book is in the bargain bin, Byron is finally finishing up his second novel. His wife Dena (Julianna Marguilies) is supportive but money is getting tight while she waits for him to finish.

Unfortunately, Byron's publisher doesn't like the new book, which Byron says is about migrant workers. Without a publishing deal, Byron begins searching for a job but finds no one is hiring out-of-work writers.

With no real prospects, Byron finds himself approached in a bar by a stranger named Luther Fox (Mick Jagger. Yes, that Mick Jagger. Is there any other?). Luther claims to have the solution to Byron's problem and gives him a business card for something called Elysian Fields.

Elysian Fields is the cover name for an escort service that pairs men with lonely women to escort them to events when their husbands aren't available and on some occasions sleep with them. Of course, this isn't anything Byron would ever do because he's happily married but when Luther tells him he doesn't have to sleep with the women, he agrees.

After lying to his wife, saying he was spending late nights with hi editor, Byron escorts a gorgeous woman named Andrea Alcott (Olivia Williams) to the opera. Why does a woman as beautiful as Andrea need an escort? Because her husband is dying of diabetes and has agreed to allow her to date. Andrea's husband Tobias (James Coburn) also happens to be an award-winning writer whom Byron has idolized. He doesn't find this out until he is caught sleeping with Andrea and is introduced to the couple’s arrangement.

The set up sounds forced and convenient, only in my feeble explanation. The real joy of The Man From Elysian Fields is in its dialogue and characters, all of whom are well inhabited by one of the best ensemble casts I've seen in a long time. Forget what you think of Mick Jagger as an actor, he gives a stellar performance here as the narrator and devil on Byron's shoulder that slowly becomes his conscience.

Andy Garcia is becoming one of the most reliable actors in Hollywood, consistently seeking out and finding great roles and great scripts. Garcia is aided greatly by a wonderfully sympathetic performance by Julianna Marguilies.

In his final performance before his death in 2002, Oscar winner James Coburn is magnificently witty and gruff. His love story with Williams is tender and believable as written by screenwriter Philip Jayson Lasker. Though some of Coburn's dialogue borders on being too well written Coburn reigns it in with the glint in his eye. It is a little strange to watch the late Coburn portray a character that is dying but the performance is so good that it feels like the perfect coda for his career.

There really is little to complain about in The Man From Elysian Fields. Director George Hickenlooper so elegantly crafts this film that even when it’s at times breezy, it’s acceptable. It's just so well written. It's not laugh out loud funny but intelligently witty. It reminded me of the kind of film Hollywood made during its glory days of the 1950's, though with a story that likely couldn't have been made in the days of the Hays code.

Movie Review Love Object

Love Object (2004) 

Directed by Robert Parigi 

Written by Robert Parigi 

Starring Desmond Harrington, Melissa Sagemiller, Rip Torn 

Release Date February 14th, 2004 

Published July 18th, 2004 

I like movies with a twisted sense of humor or morality. Often the best films with that twisted sense of right and wrong, or moral and immoral, break with conventional Hollywood standards of filmmaking and that is always a welcome sight.

However, being different and having that twisted sense is not entirely enough. A film must still be well made and entertaining. The new video Love Object has that twisted quality but is lacking a number of essential elements in great filmmaking.

Desmond Harrington, best known as Eliza Dushku's love interest in Wrong Turn, stars as Kenneth, an office drone who writes instruction manuals and little else. Kenneth is quiet and unassuming with that creepy quality people always describe after they find their quiet neighbor was hiding severed heads in his fridge. Regardless of Kenneth's lacking social skills, his boss Mr. Novak (Rip Torn) respects his ability to get the job done fast and for his next assignment gives Kenneth his first assistant.

The assistant is a beautiful blonde temp typist named Lisa (Melissa Sagemiller, Soul Survivor). She is also quiet and unassuming but far less creepy than Kenneth. Lisa has that librarian quality, dowdy with the potential to be a hotty. That is certainly the quality that Kenneth sees in Lisa as he begins fantasizing about her.

Kenneth's fantasies are stoked by another new friend, an inanimate sex doll. After overhearing some guys at work describe this love doll, Kenneth orders one, customized to resemble Lisa. From there things only get weirder. Lisa is honestly attracted to Kenneth and he seems to resemble a normal human being for a time until he stops customizing the doll and begins customizing Lisa, buying her clothes and making her resemble the doll.

For a time the film, written and directed by Robert Parigi, reminds us a lot of last year’s best film, the horror film May. However this script is not as clever as Lucky McKee's and Desmond Harrington lacks the sympathetic sadness of Angela Bettis. Harrington never develops that unique quality to make you feel for him while he does things that go against anything you should ever have sympathy for. The film is also far more predictable than May, until its ending where Love Object takes a twist that is entirely off the wall but not in a good way.

For her part Melissa Sagemiller is admirable in a very underwritten role. The focus of the film is unquestionably on Harrington and that leaves little room for Sagemiller to make an impression aside from being very attractive.

Behind the camera for the first time, Robert Parigi does create a terrifically subversive atmosphere but he just can't maintain it. There is some good stuff in there but in the end Love Object is an occasionally creepy, weird funny movie but also derivative and by the end completely over the top and off-putting.

Movie Review Live from Baghdad

Live from Baghdad (2002) 

Directed by Mick Jackson 

Written by John Patrick Shanley 

Starring Michael Keaton, Helena Bonham Carter, Lili Taylor, Bruce McGill, Kurt Fuller 

Release Date December 7th, 2002 

Published January 12th, 2003

Hollywood has a knack for timing. Right as the meltdown at Three Mile Island was happening, Jane Fonda and Michael Douglas were topping the box office in The China Syndrome. Just as controversy brewed about President Clinton's questionable bombings in Afghanistan, Hollywood released the hysterical political comedy Wag The Dog about a presidential administration that waged a fake war. Now, as we once again sit on the brink of war in Iraq, HBO releases Live From Baghdad, a smart, quickly-paced, entertaining movie that takes us behind the scenes of our first war in Iraq.

The film is based on the writing of CNN producer Robert Wiener, who, with correspondents Bernard Shaw, Peter Arnett, and John Holliman, broadcast live as bombs dropped on Iraq's capital. In the film, Wiener is played by Michael Keaton as a resourceful, quick witted journalist with a great ear for a story and the nerve to go and get it. Wiener, producer Ingrid Formanek (Helena Bonham Carter), and a skeleton crew--including the always-excellent Lily Taylor and Blair Witch victim Joshua Leonard--go to the heart of Iraq to get the story from inside the country.

The crew from CNN put their network on the map with its all-access war coverage. Their first big story is video of Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein posing with "guests" (or hostages, depending upon your perspective.) CNN came under fire for airing the unedited footage, which some viewed as Iraqi propaganda. The next story for the crew is gaining an interview with an American hostage, a story which leads to the interviewee being taken into custody and Wiener's first major crisis of conscience. As we would uncover later, Hussein used American oil workers in Iraq as hostages held in strategic places where the US was likely to drop bombs.

The hostages were released before the bombs began dropping. The big coup was too land an interview with Saddam Hussein, however the things the producer has to promise to get the interview makes you wonder if it's worth it. CBS and Dan Rather land the first interview with Hussein despite Wiener's close relationship with the Iraqi Minister of Information, Naji Al Hadithi, here played by veteran character actor David Suchet. (You don't know the name but, trust me, you would know his face.)

Eventually, CNN would get an interview with Hussein, leading to a surreal photo op of Hussein posing with Wiener, his crew, and correspondent Shaw(Robert Wisdom). But it's not until the bombs begin to drop and CNN becomes America's eyes in Baghdad that the little network that could moves into the big time.

My favorite thing about Live From Baghdad are the performances, especially the group of character actors taking on the difficult roles of CNN reporters. Bruce Mcgill is Arnett and John Carrol Lynch portrays Holliman. (As mentioned above Wisdom is Shaw.) These roles are difficult because these reporters became quite memorable during and after the Gulf War and both Shaw and Arnett remain in front of the cameras to this day. John Holliman passed away in 1999 and Live From Baghdad is dedicated to him.

Mcgill really makes an impression, capturing the modern-day-cowboy attitude of Arnett, who has always loved being in the middle of the action, broadcasting live during the evacuation of Vietnam and other hotspots. Mcgill seems to make an impression in everything he's in. His Robert Hagan was the best part of The Legend Of Bagger Vance in 2000.

With all the media coverage about the Gulf War, one may think there isn't a story left to tell, Live From Baghdad has a story and it's a compelling, exciting story very well told by Keaton, Carter, and Director Mick Jackson. The film was based on the book written by Wiener who also wrote the teleplay, which gives the dialogue a fresh, realistic feel.

Though I found it hard to believe Wiener told Saddam Hussein he loved his tie as he was putting a microphone on the Iraqi dictator, the film teases the reality of it. In the end, it is just really nice to see Keaton back in a lead role, something we haven't seen since the god-awful Christmas movie Jack Frost in 1998. After a movie that bad it was probably a good idea to take some time off. Now he can be welcomed back and I, for one, hope to see more of him. Just no more Christmas movies.

Movie Review The Lion King

The Lion King (1994)

Directed by Roger Allers, Rob Minkoff

Written by Irene Mecchi, Jonathan Roberts, Linda Woolverton 

Starring Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Matthew Broderick, James Earl Jones, Jeremy Irons 

Release Date June 15th 1994

Published August 11th, 2003 

It is a quirk of timing that the same week our poll question asked whether traditional animation was dead, the animated classic The Lion King would open in the IMAX theater in my hometown of Davenport Iowa.

I am of the belief that traditional hand drawn animation is finished as far as its box office appeal. As an artform, however, it is as strong as ever. While my evidence for that is nearly 10 years old, it's not as if it's gotten worse since The Lion King debuted in the summer of 1994. Traditional animation was merely surpassed in both quality and entertainment value by computer animation that allows for more visual flourish, picture clarity and surprise.

It is an interesting question to ask, just how appealing would The Lion King be if it had competed against the likes of Shrek, Toy Story or Finding Nemo? Would it have become the highest grossing animated feature of all time? (A title that now belongs to Finding Nemo) Would opening after the computer animated films I named previously diminish Lion King's legacy as an animated classic?

That question can never be answered, and regardless of whether The Lion King is the all time animated box office champion, it's legacy is in place. The reformatting of the film for the IMAX screen is a reassurance of Lion King's classic status.

In the wilds of Africa, the king of the jungle is a Lion named Mufasa (the resonant voice of James Earl Jones) who has had a son. The heir to Mufasa's throne is Simba (voiced by Jonathan Taylor Thomas), a playful adventurous kid eager to learn the family business. Standing in his way is his evil uncle Scar (Jeremy Irons) and his army of hyenas. The only way Scar can become the king is if both Mufasa and Simba are dead, so using his hyena army he orchestrates a stampede that forces Mufasa to trade his own life for Simba's. Scar then convinces Simba that it was his fault that his father died, leading Simba to flee the kingdom and allow Scar to become king.

Simba wanders off into the wild where he meets a strange tiny little animal, a meerkat named Timon and his buddy, a warthog named Pumba. Together Timon and Pumba help Simba grow into a man and soon Simba, with some inspiration by a lioness named Nala (Moira Kelly), is ready to reclaim his father’s throne.

The film’s story is about death, family, and facing your fears. It's about growing up and realizing who you are. All wonderful elements that are never overplayed. One of the marks of a good animated film or any film aimed at a younger audience is its ability to deliver a message without sacrificing entertainment value.

The animation in The Lion King was the height of Disney's animation renaissance of the late 80's- early 90's. Blown up to the IMAX six-story screen, it becomes even more impressive. The visuals in The Lion King are as impressive as anything made specifically for the IMAX. Though there is an odd shadow that pops up occasionally, it doesn't detract from the beauty of this animated classic.

When you combine the film’s visuals blown up to six stories with it's memorable soundtrack blasted through the mind-blowing IMAX sound system and you get a true masterpiece. Indeed traditional theater sound is very impressive, but it can't compare with the IMAX sound. The Lion King’s African drum score and it's numerous catchy pop tunes are absolutely mind-blowing in IMAX.

Whether traditional animation has a future is debatable but whether The Lion King on IMAX is a masterpiece is unquestionable. 

Movie Review Love Liza

Love Liza (2002) 

Directed by Todd Louiso 

Written by Gordy Hoffman

Starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Kathy Bates, Stephen Tobolowsky 

Release Date January 14th, 2002 

Published June 2nd, 2003 

In this age of Prozac and less well-known antidepressants, it is becoming odd to see people express real sadness. In Love Liza, Phillip Seymour Hoffman takes sadness to profound depths. Portraying a man whose wife has taken her own life, Hoffman is a revelation in sadness in an award-worthy performance.

Directed by Todd Louiso, Love Liza stars Hoffman as Wilson Joel, a software designer living somewhere in the mid-south. When we meet him, Wilson is returning to his home with an obviously distraught air about him. As he falls asleep on the floor outside of his bedroom, we are certain that something very traumatic has happened. The film slowly reveals Wilson's wife has killed herself. Liza Joel had gone into their garage, locked herself in the car with the engine running.

What we, Wilson, and Liza's mother Mary Ann (Kathy Bates), don't know is why she did. Wilson has a clue, a suicide note that he can't bring himself to open. Mary Ann is pressuring him to open it and bring some small bit of closure to her daughter's death. Mary Ann's prodding and Wilson's attempts at returning to a normal life at work finally get the better of him as he becomes fascinated with Liza's last moments on earth. Having killed herself suffocating on gas fumes, Wilson begins to huff gasoline to get a sense of her final moments. The gas also provides a distraction from real life, and a temporary escape from the sadness.

The role fits Hoffman like it does no other actor; not only because Hoffman is a brilliant actor, but also because his brother Gordy wrote the script. Director Todd Louiso is also a close friend of the Hoffman brothers, which likely helped bring together a chemistry necessary to carry off this film which was shot in a mere 25 days.

As great as Hoffman and his supporting cast--Bates, Stephen Toboloski, and Jack Kehler--are, the rushed production did take its toll on the finished product. With script changes coming at the last minute, it's Bates's character who is hurt the most. Her character's motivations that lead to the film's third act are a contrivance that likely came only as a way of giving her character more screen time. As the filmmakers explain in the DVD commentary track, the character of Liza's mother was beefed up to get Bates in the movie.

Many critics called Love Liza oppressively sad and they were right. But that's the point. Of course it's sad. It is about grief to an extreme degree. This is not meant as an examination of grief on a grand scale. Love Liza is an examination of this character's grief and as played by Hoffman it is a powerhouse.

Movie Review Shrek 2

Shrek 2 (2004) 

Directed by Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury, Conrad Vernon

Written by Andrew Adamson, Joe Stillman, David N. Weiss

Starring Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, Julie Andrews, Antonio Banderas, Rupert Everett

Release Date May 19th, 2004 

Published May 18th, 2004 

In 2000, Shrek came out of nowhere and became a box office phenomena. While only spending one weekend at the top of the box office, the film’s buzz sustained it at the box office to the tune of $267 million domestically.

More important than the film’s box office was its quality. One of the rare and wonderful examples of what is possible when animation technology meets talented voice actors, producers and writers. An animated film with as much appeal to adults as to children. The sequel cannot be asked to meet that same lofty standard. That it doesn't spoil our memory of the first film is good enough.

As we rejoin our friends shortly after their wedding, Shrek (Mike Myers) and Fiona (Cameron Diaz) are on their honeymoon. The opening of the film is a terrific sendup of those romantic comedy montages set to some silly pop song with Shrek and Fiona cavorting in a meadow, running toward each other both being chased by pitch fork toting mobs.

Once back in the swamp, they are reunited with Donkey (Eddie Murphy). They are informed that they have been invited to the kingdom of Far Far Away where Fiona's parents King Harold (John Cleese) and Queen Lillian (Julie Andrews) wish to throw them a royal ball to celebrate their marriage. Shrek is convinced it's a bad idea but Fiona insists they go, even allowing Donkey to join them for the long journey that is best described "Are we there yet?”

No surprise to Shrek, when they arrive and are not greeted with open arms by the King and Queen. There is more to this story than the King's objecting to his daughter marrying an Ogre. It seems the King had cut a deal with the Fairy Godmother (Jennifer Saunders) that promised Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) would save Fiona from her castle and marry her, thus becoming heir to the throne. The King owes Fairy Godmother for some yet to be revealed reason and so he must get rid of Shrek and allow Charming to take his place.

For this, the King buys the services of a legendary Ogre killer named Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) whose efforts are less than successful. From there, Shrek and Fiona are separated and various miscommunications and mistaken identities serve to keep them apart. Shrek, Donkey and their new friend Puss in Boots must find a way to get Fiona back.

It's not a complicated story, it's a simple setup for the scatological humor that drips from every scene. Each computer-generated frame of Shrek 2 has some kind of satirical jab, even more than the original film. It almost reeks of desperation as if the producers and writers of Shrek 2 felt something was missing from the first film and were going to cover it up with excess jokes.

There is something missing from the sequel though I can't quite explain what it is. Part of the problem is that Shrek's look and animation isn't as special as it was back in 2000. Since then we have seen Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo and Ice Age and even live action films like Van Helsing and Spider-man that have made us comfortable with computer animation. It's not that special anymore, it's still impressive but not as mind blowing as the original.

Shrek 2 is not as funny as the first film but it is still funnier than most. Credit the terrific voice cast who project every line of dialogue all the way to the back wall of the theater. Especially good is Antonio Banderas who really tears into the role of Puss In Boots with tremendous comic fervor. Banderas sends up his Mask Of Zorro titular role and the script hints at something that other Zorro movies have used as subtext, something that the kids in the audience won't get but parents will likely pick up.

The other new voices are also well cast. John Cleese picks up the pompous, overblown King role where his good friend John Lithgow left it in the original. Jennifer Saunders makes a terrific villain and even knocks out a rousing showstopper tune near the end. Sadly, Julie Andrews is underused with little to do in the underwritten role of the Queen.

The film’s best assets are still Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz and Eddie Murphy. These terrific comics know how to deliver a punchline and the way the animators incorporate the actors' physical traits into the animated characters adds to the feeling that they are really inhabiting these characters. Listen closely however and you might hear Myers dropping out of his Scottish accent, but that is a minor quibble.

To ask Shrek 2 to recreate the magic of the first film is asking way too much. The best it could do was not taint our memory and that it does it justice with funny references to everything from Spider-man to The Wizard Of Oz to Raiders of The Lost Ark. That it does not fall to sequels and exist merely to capitalize off the original’s success is a testament to the creative team behind it. They put forth an effort to tell a story rather than slapping together a money machine meant to print money off our fondness for the first film.

Movie Review The Lion in Winter

The Lion in Winter (2004) 

Directed by James Goldman 

Written by Andrei Konchalovsky 

Starring Sir Patrick Stewart, Glenn Close, Rafe Spall 

Release Date May 23rd, 2004 

Published May 23rd, 2004 

When it comes to remakes, I am on the record as disliking them on principle. Why? Because they only attempt to remake films that were already good. No one ever attempts to take a bad movie and improve on its mistakes to make it a good film. That would seem to be a more worthy cause than the “karaoke-version” of a classic film.

There is, however, the very rare exception and Showtime's remake of the Peter O'Toole-Katherine Hepburn classic The Lion In Winter is a worthy take on this Oscar winning work.

Patrick Stewart stars as King Henry the second (Patrick Stewart), father to four sons, none of whom are worthy heirs to his crown. Son Henry may have been worthy but he died in battle some years ago. The next in line would have been Richard (Andrew Howard) but he and his younger brother Geoffrey (John Light) led a rebellion against the King at the behest of their mother Queen Eleanor of Aquitaine (Glenn Close). When the rebellion is put down, the Queen is imprisoned while the sons were given property and notice from the King that neither would inherit the throne.

10 years after the rebellion, the King is feeling his years and is now ready to name the heir to his throne. He must do it soon because King Philip of France (John Rhys Myers) is calling upon King Henry to fulfill a contract made years ago to marry Princess Alais of France (Julia Vysotskaya) to the future King of England. Alais also happens to be the King's mistress. King Henry plans to name his youngest son John (Rafe Spall) his heir, despite the fact that the doltish John is entirely unworthy of being King.

Though the Queen is in exile, she still has some power. As the former Queen of France, married to King Louis before being stolen by Henry, her voice and appearance has power and she would like her chosen son Richard to be the next King. This battle of wills culminates over Christmas in a French castle where the King will officially name his heir and attempt to placate his other power-hungry sons and maneuver around his malicious wife whose only pleasure comes from making the King suffer.

This is a film that is all about dialogue, verbal jousting matches that manipulate deep emotion. Watching the King and Queen twist and turn their sons with promises, lies and other deceptions is a sport. Shifting alliances and other behind the scenes maneuverings, sons Richard and Geoffrey show they clearly learned a lot from their parents. At times, the verbiage is so confusing, you lose track of who is scheming with whom but it all sounds so smart and witty you can forgive the occasional confusion.

The actors have a very high standard to live up to. Peter O'Toole was nominated for an Oscar for his Henry and Katherine Hepburn won her third of four Oscars for her harridan Queen. The remake’s director, Andrei Konchalovsky, is blessed with a terrific cast but it is too much to expect any actor to live up to the O'Toole-Hepburn standard. That said, Patrick Stewart's stage training makes him an ideal choice for the role of King Henry. Stewart may not escape Peter O'Toole's shadow but he bellows and blusters his way to a terrifically entertaining performance.

Glenn Close is the film’s true star. Her Queen Eleanor must be the top contender for the Emmy's in 2005. What is most amazing is how Close so reminds us of Hepburn. She evokes the cold hard spirit that infused Hepburn's iconic performance. The remaining cast is less memorable than the two leads but none are so overmatched by their roles to be criticized.

It's interesting to note that the actors and director were working from the very same script from the original film. The script was written originally as a play in 1967 by James Goldman who also adapted this screenplay. This is a blessing in that it's a brilliant Oscar winning script but it also makes it difficult for the actors to give their own spin to the material. Regardless of the problems though it's always a delight to hear such wonderful dialogue delivered by great actors, even if you have heard it all before.

Movie Review Lean on Me

Lean on Me (1989) 

Directed by John G. Avildsen 

Written by Michael Schiffer 

Starring Morgan Freeman, Beverly Todd, Robert Guillaume, Tony Todd 

Release Date March 3rd, 1989 

Published August 7th, 2002 

Morgan Freeman is one of the most commanding screen presences in film history. In great movies like Glory and Seven and even bad movies like Along Came A Spider and Deep Impact, Freeman's sharp intense stare gave his characters the respect and dignity that most characters have to earn.

In 1989's Lean On Me, Freeman took on the role of another commanding presence, that of the principle of New Jersey's ugliest High School, Eastside High. Crazy Joe Clark made national headlines with his promise too carry a baseball bat in the halls of the school and chain the schools exits to keep out the drug-dealers.

For over 10 years, Joe Clark was an elementary school principal chafing at his ineffectual position when school superintendent Dr. Napier (Robert "Benson" Guilliaume)offers Joe his dream job as principal at the school where he got his start, Paterson New Jersey's Eastside High School. Oh but things have changed a lot in the near 20 years since Joe had been at Eastside. Drug dealers now run the halls selling their product locker to locker. Gang members fought in class and teachers hid in the teacher’s lounge, too afraid to go to class.

While Eastside's staff is terrified by the students around them, there is no intimidating Joe Clark whose first act as principal is to expel the students who caused the most trouble. The expulsions touch off a firestorm of criticisms lead by Leona Barrett (Lynn Thigpen), the mother of one of the expelled students.

Clark's unusual tactics using bullhorns, baseball bats, and chains on the doors made national headlines in the mid 1980's. Those headlines are what inspired this film and may be the reason why the film feels disjointed at times. The editing of the film jumps the timelines ahead so quick that entire subplots are introduced and quickly discarded.

That criticism aside, Lean On Me is all about Freeman and his perfectly pitched performance. Using his unique vocal cadence, constantly annoyed and always near screaming, his voice and soul crushing gaze create an intimidating but charismatic character that makes you wonder what the real Joe Clark is like.

Joe Clark left Eastside in the early 1990's to accept a position at New Jersey's Essex County Youth Facility where once again his disciplinary style made national headlines. We will have to wait and see if that will be good enough for a sequel.

Movie Review Kill Me Later

Kill Me Later (2001) 

Directed by Dana Lustig

Written by Dana Lustig

Starring Selma Blair, Max Beesley, Brendan Fehr

Release Date September 14th, 2001 

Published June 3rd, 2002 

Actor Max Beesley is a very well respected dramatic actor and sex symbol in his home country of England. Sadly, here in the U.S., Beesley is best known as Mariah Carey's love interest in the horrendous flop Glitter. Beesley may never live that one down, in America anyway, but he is doing what he can to put it behind him and the straight-to-video feature Kill Me Later, co-starring Selma Blair, is a good start on his redemption tour.

Beesley is Charlie, a drummer who turns to bank robbery as a way of providing a future for a young daughter he has never known. Selma Blair is Shawn, a bank teller in a bad relationship with her married boss played by D.W Moffett. After her boss spends the night and explains that he has no intention of leaving his wife or having children, Shawn contemplates suicide. 

Shawn isn't considering suicide because of her jerk boss, but rather her personal embarrassment over getting involved with him at all. Charlie and Shawn's paths cross when Charlie and his crew rob the bank where Shawn works as a loan officer. The robbery may have come off without a hitch if Shawn hadn't been on the roof thinking of jumping, thus causing a neighbor to call the police who accidentally interrupt the robbery.

Charlie keeps Shawn from jumping and takes her hostage. Of course it's not that simple. Being suicidal, Shawn doesn't make for a very good hostage. Charlie cuts her a deal; if she cooperates he promises he will kill her later. It doesn't take a genius to figure where the story is going from here, of course they fall in love and are chased by cops and various other contrived drama about the money and the cops.

What sets Kill Me Later apart from other similar films is director Dana Lustig, who employ's stylish camera movements, music video style editing and lighting to make for a visually interesting film. My favorite technical innovation was the editing. While not groundbreaking, Lustig and her team employ a quick cutting style of shots that last no more than 10 to 15 seconds. Especially effective are the tight close-ups of Blair, backed by bright lighting against her pale skin accentuating her beautiful eyes and jet-black locks.

Selma Blair truly shines as a misanthrope whose hatred of the people around her is only surpassed by her own self-hatred. Blair is wonderful, communicating an innate intelligence and deep sadness with her gorgeous brown eyes. Beesley, for his part, is charming and magnetic. The camera loves him. In Glitter he was flat as a board. Here he shows that if the material is good he can be great.

Movie Review Ju-On The Grudge

Ju-On The Grudge (2002) 

Directed by Takashi Shimizu 

Written by Takashi Shimizu

Starring Megumi Okina 

Release Date October 18th, 2002 

Published July 24th, 2004 

Hollywood loves a good trend, so when Dreamworks invested and got a big return on the Japanese horror remake The Ring, it was not hard to guess that the flood gates were about to open. There are a few more Japanese imports about to get the American touch and one of them is Ju-On: The Grudge -- a haunted house horror movie with a unique story structure that may be it's biggest asset and least translatable element.

The Grudge centers on a home where an old woman is living with her son and his wife. The couple has not checked in with social workers who have been monitoring the old woman's care and so a social worker, Rika (Megumi Okina), is dispatched to the home to check up. What Rika finds is the old woman dying and a strange, gray-skinned boy named Toshio (Yuya Ozeki) locked in a closet. There is a strange presence in the house that eventually reveals itself and leaves Rika traumatized.

The film is broken into chapters ala Pulp Fiction, including title cards. Rika is the film’s only consistent character, popping up in different chapters at different times, before and after her encounter in the haunted house. After introducing Rika, the film goes back in time to show us the husband and wife leading up to their disappearance. The cops investigating their disappearance get a few scenes and another cop who investigated a brutal murder that may be the key to the film’s mystery

The film also veers away from the home to the couple's sister and another social worker who were followed to their homes by the strange specter haunting the couple's home. There is also the teenage daughter of one of the cops who once visited the haunted house with friends, intrigued by the house’s mystery; she left, but her friends stayed and disappeared.

Writer-director Takashi Shimizu does a terrific job of setting his tone. The film is very quiet and then very violent in quick strokes. The violence is quick yet surprisingly, almost disappointingly bloodless. The young boy Toshio is used to maximum creepiness as his gray pallor and large eyes are seen peering at characters from various unusual vantage points. Using a child as a villain is an effective way of lulling an audience into a sense of safety and then destroying our preconceived notions of child innocence. Toshio is not the only villain there is also a smoky black specter that is less effective, even at times a little cheesy.

Ju-On: The Grudge is actually the third film in the Ju-On series, the first two films were direct-to-video hits in Japan and the original has now spawned two sequels and an American adaptation. Each of the films (including the adaptation) has been written and directed by Shimizu, who has built a quite successful career off of creepy haunted house aesthetics. Like Hideo Nakata, the writer-director of Ringu, Shimizu is making Ju-On his career. This will not be easy. Where Ringu had an easily-accessible hook, Ju-On is slightly more esoteric and will likely look very different when translated to American audiences.

Ju-On: The Grudge evokes the creepy haunted house ideas of Amityville, with a touch of The Exorcist and a tone and structure that is unique for a horror film. I’m not entirely sold on Ju-On: The Grudge. As an import desperately crying out for an adaptation, it’s creepier than it is scary and far more atmospheric than gory, thus it lacks much of what American audiences crave from a horror film.

Movie Review Intacto

Intacto (2001) 

Directed by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo 

Written by Juan Carlos Fresnadillo 

Starring Leonardo Sbaraglia, Max Von Sydow 

Release Date January 3rd, 2003 

Published June 2nd, 2003 

Luck is a funny thing. It's defined as a force that brings good fortune or adversity. But what kind of force? Does not the word force imply something can be controlled? Luck is something seemingly intangible that it can't be controlled. Or can it? The characters in Juan Carlos Fresnadillo's first full length feature believe not only that luck can be controlled but that the luck of others can be controlled as well, alternately taken away and given to others. It's this unique premise that plays out in Intacto.

In a casino seemingly in the middle of nowhere, high rollers drop big amounts of cash. But underneath the casino, far bigger wagers are being played against the casino's oddball owner known to many as The Jew (Max Von Sydow). With his top advisor Federico (Eucebio Poncela), The Jew manipulates the luck of the players in the casino. If by chance someone gets on a hot streak, Federico is dispatched to simply touch the player. The touch takes the player’s luck and gives it to Federico.

However, when Federico decides he wants to go out on his own, using his abilities for his own gain, The Jew takes his luck away. Some years later Federico is working for an insurance company, or at least, that’s his cover. In reality, the insurance industry is a way for Federico to find people who have the gift he once had. He finds what he is looking for in a plane crash survivor named Tomas.

Tomas happens to be a thief who was on the plane escaping from the pursuit of a police detective named Sara (Monica Lopez). She too has a gift for luck, having survived a car crash that killed her husband and child. As Federico helps Tomas escape from the police, they enter a strange world of gamblers who trade in luck rather than just money. With the help of another of these gamblers, a bullfighter (Antonio Dechent), Sara follows them into the games.

The games are dreamlike in their strangeness. In one scene, regular everyday folks are chosen by the gamblers. They take photographs of these people and then touch them, taking their luck. The photographs of these people are then used as cache for the bigger bets. The goal of it all is to get to The Jew for the biggest chance game of all.

All of this is shot by Fresnadillo with a sharpness that belies the film’s small budget. The crispness and clarity of the DVD is remarkable. The desert landscape that surrounds the casino, shot in the opening from a mini helicopter equipped with a camera at night is striking and attention grabbing.

The story does have its minor contrivances, such as what happens when you beat The Jew? Then what, wait until someone beats you? The Jew's life isn't exactly exciting. As played by the magnificent Max Von Sydow, he is a paranoid old man who spends his days locked in a small, poorly lit room wearing a mask in fear that someone might see his face or take his photo.

That minor quibble aside Intacto is a fascinating and unique picture that combines the cool of modern Hollywood storytelling with the beauty of an art film. For a director working on his first feature, Fresnadillo has an amazing confident style that comes from a kid who doesn't know what can't be done. 

Movie Review In the Time of the Butterflies

In the Time of the Butterflies (2001) 

Directed by Mariano Barroso

Written by Julia Alvarez, David Klass 

Starring Salma Hayek, Edward James Olmos, Mia Maestro, Demian Bechir, Marc Anthony 

Release Date October 21st, 2001 

Published May 5th, 2002 

I had never heard of author Julia Alvarez before I rented In the Time of the Butterflies, a film adaptation of her book of the same title. After seeing the film I'm interested in reading her book which has to be far more and enlightening and textured than the sappy, melodramatic film version of the lives of three martyred sisters.

The story begins in the late 1930's on the island of the Dominican Republic where the Marabel sisters, Minerva (Salma Hayek), Patria (Lumi Cadazos) and Maria (Mia Maestro) have finally been allowed by their parents to attend school. One day during a visit to the school by Dominican dictator Trujillo (Edward James Olmos), Minerva prevents a classmate from attempting to assassinate the dictator. Trujillo promises Minerva he will never forget her and Minerva sets out to make sure he won't.

Flash forward a few years; Minerva and her family are invited to Trujillo's mansion for a party. Trujillo asks Minerva to dance but when he gets a little too fresh with her, Minerva slaps him. Soon after, Minerva's father is arrested and Minerva must once again see the dictator to beg for her father’s freedom.

If you think this plot description is long, wait ‘til you see the film itself that is quite leisurely in pace.

Minerva goes to college and while there meets and falls in love with a revolutionary named Manolo (Demien Bechir). The two begin to try to overthrow Trujillo, fighting mostly on the information front, attempting to educate the Dominican people as to what Trujillo is doing to maintain his power. It's a good idea in theory but as the film later shows everyone is quite aware of what Trujillo was up to they were just to afraid to say anything.

It is informational gaffes like this and odd fast forwards in the timeframe that muddle the film’s narrative and keeps it's characters distant. The movie only gives us the opportunity to get to know Hayek's character while only glimpsing the other characters. From what I've read, the book is focused on all three sisters whereas the film has just one fully fleshed out character - Minerva. This semi-restricted narrative leaves the other sister’s motivations unclear. We the audience are left wondering why they joined the revolution.

Butterflies is surprisingly short at a mere 90 minutes and it's shocking violent conclusion comes almost out of nowhere. If your hoping for some insight into Dominican history and it's most infamous dictator, you won't find it here. The film buries its politics under heaping helpings of melodrama and leaden dialogue. See it for Salma Hayek whose performance is strong, but if your not a fan you can skip this one.

Movie Review: In the Bedroom

In the Bedroom (2001) 

Directed by Todd Field

Written by Todd Field

Starring Sissy Spacek, Tom Wilkinson, Marisa Tomei, Nick Stahl, 

Release Date November 23rd, 2001 

Published January 15th, 2002 

Sissy Spacek reminds me of someone I know, I can't quite place it but I feel like I know her. That is an excellent quality for an actor or actress to have, it becomes less like acting and feels real. When I watch her, it feels for me like I'm watching a real life in progress, and it's that quality that she brings to In The Bedroom and makes the films actions that much more tragic.

Bedroom is the story of a family in Camden, Maine. Mother (Spacek) is a teacher, Father (Tom Wilkinson) a doctor and their son (Nick Stahl), who is preparing for college. Of course nothing is ever what it seems, the parents are happy but argue greatly over their son's choice to date an older woman (Marisa Tomei) who is divorced with two kids to go with a violent ex-husband. The setup is combustible but director Todd Field never creates an air of inevitability, instead he allows the story to flow to conclusions that are shocking but not all that surprising. 

I'm struggling to avoid giving away too much, though the plot twists are not shocking surprises, they're not surprising if you actually watch the movie. The film is very realistic. How many times in your life has something happened that is shocking and tragic but you said to yourself that you could kind of see it coming? That is how this movie feels.

Director Todd Field is best known as an actor for his role as Tom Cruise piano player friend in Eyes Wide Shut, where Field says he spent a great deal of time studying at the feet of the master Stanley Kubrick. Although stylistically you don't see much influence I think In The Bedroom is a film Kubrick would have appreciated with it's slow studied pacing and desperate protagonists expertly played by Spacek and British character actor Tom Wilkinson.

Of the film's few flaws I would say the lack of chemistry between Nick Stahl and Marisa Tomei is the most obvious. The films glacial pacing works for the most part but drags in the middle. These criticisms are overcome though by the brilliant performance of Sissy Spacek that is the heart of this very good film. 

Movie Review Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (2009) 

Directed by David Yates 

Written by Steve Kloves 

Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Helena Bonham Carter, Alan Rickman

Release Date July 15th, 2009 

Published July 14th, 2009 

The last decade has been dominated by franchise films from the return of Lucas's Star Wars to the supposedly unfilmable Lord of the Rings to Sam Raimi's greatest of all superhero series Spiderman and the wholly original Matrix films of the Wachowski Brothers. It is arguable however that the franchise with the greatest staying power in the minds of fans and even film aficionados may be that of J.K Rowling's Harry Potter. It helps that it is the longest of all of the franchises but there are also the wonderful characters, the extraordinary set design and fabulous effects.

Also there is the way Harry sort of encompasses elements of those other great franchises within itself. The parallels between Potter and Star Wars, LOTR and The Matrix become clearer in the latest installment in this ever increasingly epic film franchise.

In Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince we are merely weeks removed from when Harry watched his beloved uncle Sirius Black (Gary Oldman) murdered by Belatrix LeStrange (Helena Bonham Carter) and then watched Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) battle the Dark Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) to what can only be described as a tie.

The Dark Lord is weakened but not defeated as Harry is confronted by Dumbledore in a muggle train station where he is hiding out. Dumbledore wants Harry for a special mission, they are to attract a former Hogwarts professor, Slughorn (Jim Broadbent) to come back to the school. Professor Slughorn has a particular piece of information that he is not wanting to give up. It's urgent that someone get it out of him because it is the key to stopping the Dark Lord whose evil intentions have begun to extend out of the magical world and into the muggle world.

Back at Hogwarts Harry is reunited with his friends Ron (Rupert Grint) and Hermione Emma Watson). Teenage hormones are beginning to run wild at Hogwarts. Sometime in the recent past Hermione has developed a crush on Ron while the thick headed Weasley misses all of the signals and goes out with a wacky little thing named Lavender (Jessie Cave).

Harry meanwhile has developed a crush of his own on Ron's little sister Ginny Bonnie Wright). The young romance is handled with delicacy and great care by director David Yates who does a masterful job of allowing the characters moments of childish fun while the ever deepening darkness continues to rise around them.

The stunning supporting cast continues to turn in stellar work as has been the case throughout the series. Especially good this time around are Alan Rickman's ominous Professor Snape and Tom Felton's Draco Malfoy. Felton's work prior to Half Blood Prince hasn't gone much beyond malevolent sniveling but in 

Half Blood Prince his surprisingly conflicted nature is among the most compelling elements of the film.

Director David Yates has become the unlikely auteur of the Potter series. Having never directed a feature before, Yates was an unlikely and controversial choice to direct Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. That film quickly quieted fears of millions of fans and now with Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, Yates has come to own the franchise.

Yates and his exceptionally talented ensemble leave you wanting more and really that is what the film is supposed to do given that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 1 and 2 are still to come in 2010 and 2011. Yet, despite being a table setter, Half Blood Prince offers so many wonders it really stands as a triumph of its own.

Where other franchises have lost steam after just three outings the Potter series looks stronger than ever headed to sequels seven and eight. It's quite a testament to the remarkable storytelling of JK Rowling who has taken elements of some of the greatest stories ever told and fashioned them into something wholly original and all her own. What a remarkable piece of work.

Movie Review One Missed Call

One Missed Call (2008) 

Directed by Eric Valette 

Written by Andrew Klavan

Starring Shannyn Sossamon, Ed Burns, Ray Wise, Azura Skye

Release Date January 4th, 2008 

Published January 4th, 2008

The movie One Missed Call starring Shannyn Sossamon and Ed Burns is brought to you by the good folks at Boost Mobile. Ok, admittedly, I can't prove that the tiny offshoot of Sprint and Nextel actually sponsored the making of this pale imitation of Japanese horror cliches but they are no doubt tacit endorsers. Boost is mentioned and their logo shown so often the company could apply for a SAG card. Of course, bitching about the soulless schilling behind this little horror movie is really just my way of dodging the ennui that this movie brought about within me. Indeed, I care so little about this film I can barely bring the strength to dislike it.

Shannyn Sossamon, so cute in 40 Days and 40 Nights and so tragic in Rules of Engagement, stars here as a listless college student whose friends keep dying. You may be quick to blame her, but no. In reality, the deaths are related to their cellphones. Each of Shannyn's college pals have received a phone call with a message depicting their mode of death and the exact time that death will take place. By the way, Boost Mobile, if you are considering this as a feature, please stop. Naturally, when Shannyn takes her concerns to the police only the most handsome and single of the cops is willing to take her seriously.

Ed Burns plays the cop in typically Ed Burns fashion, disinterested handsomeness. Burns was once a flavor of the month writer-director boy genius. His natural rhythms as a writer served to cover up his ineptitude as an actor. Burns is a sieve as an actor with lines that roll off his tongue with the thud of a 2 by 4 to the head. That said, with material less than the sum of his acting, you barely notice his usual oafishness. As it turns out, the fetching cop's sister died after receiving one the death messages on her phone. There's also a bit about red hard candy and child abuse but by the time the film got around to them I was busy doing my taxes, difficult in the dark of a theater but I had nothing better to do.

I was going to delve into the film's ill logic and discuss universe theory, the thing where I say if a movie can establish a universe for its own goofy logic then even the most outlandish plot can be logical in its own way. I was going to go into those things but One Missed Call is simply too forgettable for such conversation. It was adapted from a Japanese horror film by the same title, in Japanese, by French director Eric Valette. Working in America for the first time, Valette shows an obvious talent for pointing his camera AT his actors. It's getting those actors to do something worth filming that is the problem here.

I had once thought that former model Shannyn Sossamon was going to be quite a star. She was terrific as Heath Ledger's inspiration in A Knight's Tale and cute as a button opposite Josh Hartnett in 40 Days and 40 Nights. Unfortunately, like so many pretty faces before her, she just never found the right roles and has now been relegated to the B-movie squad. At the very least, I don't think the failure of One Missed Call is entirely her fault. I'm guessing no one told her that they were using her audition takes, before she actually knew her lines. Wait.... what? Those were real takes? My bad.

I know it sounds like I hated this movie but believe me, hating this movie would take far more effort than I am willing to offer here. So, I will say, One Missed Call is a movie to watch while you do other things. Get a haircut, read a book, play video games, smoke weed. Trust me, you'll barely even notice the movie is there.

Movie Review: Monsters, Inc.

Monsters, Inc. (2001

Directed by Pete Docter

Written by Andrew Stanton, Daniel Gerson

Starring John Goodman, Billy Crystal, Steve Buscemi, James Coburn 

Release Date November 2nd, 2001 

Published November 2nd, 2001 

What is the future of the animated film?

Many thought we would find out in Final Fantasy, but if beautiful computer graphics over the top of lame spiritual platitude and sci-fi conventions as old as time then animation is in trouble. My hope is the future of animation lies with the brilliant artists at Pixar who with Toy Story and Toy Story 2 and their latest Monsters Inc. are revolutionizing animation the way Disney did with Snow White. 

Monsters Inc. is the story of Sully and Mike a pair of workaday monsters whose job it is to scare children into screaming and thus providing electricity to the city of Monstropolis. Mike and Sully are voiced by Billy Crystal and John Goodman who are so brilliantly matched you would never guessed they have never worked together before. Steve Buscemi provides the voice of Randall the chameleon-like bad guy and Oscar winner James Coburn is there multi-legged boss. All the voicework is flawless with each actor finding exactly the right pitch for there character.

Monsters Inc. is hampered a little by a tendency toward sickening sweetness but the story is so wonderful that the sugar-shock is worth it. 

If you didn't like Toy Story 1 and 2 you don't have a soul, the same could be said if you didn't like Monsters Inc. Forget about that whole animation is for kids stigma and go see this movie and be a kid again. Monsters Inc. is one of the best movies of the year.

Movie Review: Domestic Disturbance

Domestic Disturbance (2001) 

Directed by Harold Becker 

Written by Lewis Colick 

Starring John Travolta, Vince Vaughn, Teri Polo, Steve Buscemi 

Release Date November 2nd, 2001 

Published November 2nd, 2001 

John Travolta has a history of redeeming bad movies. Look at movies like Broken Arrow, The General's Daughter and Swordfish all bad movies made better by having Travolta as the star. Through the sheer force of charisma and charm, Travolta takes bad material and makes it fun and entertaining. However, not even Travolta can save Domestic Disturbance, one of the worst films of 2001.

Domestic Disturbance is the story of a young boy who witnesses his stepfather, played by Vince Vaughn, committing a murder. Is the kid crying wolf? Only his father played by Travolta believes he's telling the truth. Of course none of this matters to the audience who are always 20 minutes ahead of the characters.

The film's marketing campaign pretty well gives away the story by touting Travolta as the good guy. If he's the good guy obviously there is a bad guy, and make no mistake you already know who that is too. 

Of course, a good movie could possibly overcome such a bad marketing campaign. Unfortunately, Domestic Disturbance is a terrible film. There are stock characters and situations seen many times before and numerous other lame thriller shortcuts. The most egregious of the cliched cheats in Domestic Disturbance is the use of the child in danger trope. 

The oldest and arguably worst trick in the suspense genre, placing a child in danger is a cheap way to involve the audience. We may not care about the adult idiot characters, but a good person may worry about a child, even in the least convincing thriller.  That's not to say that Domestic Disturbance is effective in any way. Rather, it's a baseline of involvement akin to, hey, don't hurt that small child you idiotic film director. 

Domestic Disturbance also features the classic dumb thriller cop. A movie like Domestic Disturbance couldn't live without the dumb cop who, despite all the evidence, remains completely ignorant. A competent cop would require the screenwriters to do a little more work to make their plot believable and that would be way way more work than anyone involved in Domestic Disturbance wanted to do. 

Ignorant, brain-dead, and insulting, Domestic Disturbance will be on my list of the 10 worst films of the year.

Movie Review: Thirteen Ghosts

Thirteen Ghost (2001) 

Directed by Steve Beck

Written by Neal Marshall Stevens, Richard D'Ovidio, 7 other writers 

Starring Tony Shalhoub, Embeth Davidtz, Matthew Lillard, Shannon Elizabeth

Release Date October 26th, 2001 

Published October 26th, 2001 

When was the last time you saw a scary movie that actually scared you? For me it would be 'Friday the 13th Part 2,' but what did I know I was nine years old when I saw that. For me horror films are like America's funniest home videos, some are painful to watch and some are truly hysterical. The 'Nightmare on Elm Street' series has provided me with some huge laughs some intentional, most not.

Sadly the newest addition to the horror genre 'Thirteen Ghosts' only has a few laughs one unintentional, a grisly murder meant for shock value that is made hilarious in execution; and one intentional laugh, a very funny line wondering what happened to the character whose murder provided the previous big laugh. That's all the joy one will take from Thirteen Ghosts. 

The film is otherwise populated with been there done that attempts at scares. One of the selling points for the movie is the much talked about house in the film. The house is impressive in design but we've seen it more lavishly done, quite recently, in 'The Haunting' and more interestingly done in the very funny 'House On Haunted Hill.' 

Meanwhile, the performances by Tony Shalhoub, Shannon Elisabeth and Embeth Davidtz are perfunctory, typical scenes of running and screaming. Elisabeth, who in commercials is played as a lead but only actually only appears in maybe a third of the film. I can say this about the acting; for the first time since 'Scream' I liked Matthew Lillard, his character provides a couple of good chuckles and his manic energy occasionally brings the film to life.

Of course I couldn't have expected 'Thirteen Ghosts' to be any good knowing, as I did, beforehand that it has been written by NINE different writers, yes, nine. I always thought four writers were the absolute kiss of death but NINE?