Movie Review Surf's Up

Surf's Up (2007) 

Directed by Ash Brannon, Chris Buck

Written by Ash Brannon, Chris Buck, Don Rhymer, Chris Jenkins

Starring Shia Le Beouf, Jeff Bridges, Zooey Deschanel, Jon Heder, Brian Posehn

Release Date June 15th, 2007 

Published June 15th, 2007

In its brief history Sony Pictures Animation has turned out a pleasant slate of kids pics that, while they aren't the rival of Pixar, are wonderfully imaginative and lovingly crafted. Monster House and Open Season were two of 2006's most pleasant surprises and showed an aesthetic that is becoming a Sony Animation staple. It's a watercolor, computer animation combination that occasionally looks quite breathtaking.

The latest Sony Pictures Animation project, the Penguin comedy Surf's Up, is not as accomplished as Monster House or as fun as Open Season, but it does show the potential of the talented group at Sony Animation and the likelihood that, with a little more care and attention, there is a chance for a real masterpiece from this rising animation company.

Ever since he was a small penguin Cody (Shia Le Beouf) has wanted to surf. When he was very young Cody met the legendary surfer Big Z who gave him a souvenir medallion that he has worn for the rest of his life. Shaping a piece of ice into a board, Cody surfs the relatively small Antarctic swells in hopes of one day traveling to Penghu Island for the Big Z memorial tournament.

Cody gets his chance when a talent scout arrives, riding on whale-back. Cody impresses him with his persistence, if not his surfing and soon Cody is on his way to the big show. There he meets Roger the chicken (Jon Heder) who quickly becomes his new best friend. He also meets Lena (Zooey Deschanel) who catches his romantic fancy.

Then there is Geek (Jeff Bridges) , a mysterious hermit who takes Cody in after he has an accident while surfing. The two bond and soon Geek is Cody's mentor; preparing him for the tournament and a showdown with the jerky defending champion Tank (Diedrich Bader).

Surf's Up plays out in a cartoon documentary style that works to set it apart from other similar animated films. The format allows humorous digressions like a look back at Big Z's classic surfing movies, reminiscent of the legendary Endless Summer documentaries. Another strength of the documentary structure is the straight to the camera interview moments, especially those featuring the cute young penguins with their wonderfully humorous greek chorus commentaries.

Comedian Brian Posehn also shines in these brief interview segments with pitch perfect sibling rivalry banter with Shia Le Beouf.

The terrifically talented voice cast of Surf's Up is a real joy to behold. Shia Le Beouf brings to life Cody's childlike wonderment with an edge of youthful arrogance. Jeff Bridges meanwhile will no doubt remind many adult viewers of his most iconic character, the dude from The Big Lebowski, sans the white russians and the bathrobe.

Zooey Deschanel's distinctive voice has an edgy sarcastic quality that she can turn sympathetic but only when absolutely necessary. Jon Heder delivers a slightly controversial turn as Roger the chicken. The character is supposed to be sweetly naive but he comes off more like a classic stoner character, not exactly kid friendly.

The animation of Surf's Up is pretty terrific. Sony Pictures Animation has followed the Pixar model and is developing a signature style. Combining computer animated aesthetics with a sort of water color look, Sony's animators bring an element of classic hand drawn animation to their CG work. The closing scene of Surf's Up, set inside the curl of a wave, is a breathtaking sight, one of the finest animated moments of any cartoon you've ever seen.

Surf's Up could stand to be a little funnier, with a quicker pace but overall it's pleasant, non-threatening and energetic enough that the kids will be engaged and mom and dad won't be bored. Most importantly, Surf's Up is a signpost of great things to come from the rising Sony Animation brand. A strong, if not as impressive, follow up to the terrific Monster House and the entertaining Open Season, Surf's Up is worth the price of a matinee admission.

Movie Review Hostel 2

Hostel 2 (2007) 

Directed by Eli Roth 

Written by Eli Roth

Starring Lauren German, Roger Bart, Heather Matarazzo, Bijou Phillips, Richard Burgi, Jay Hernandez

Release Date June 8th, 2007 

Published June 8th 2007

In the last three weeks I have seen the movie Waitress 3 times. In that time, I have been reading a terrific book about the movie The Big Lebowski that is soon to hit store shelves. I mention these activities on my part as examples of good things you could be doing rather than watching Hostel Part 2 a sad perverts fantasy of a horror film.

From the twisted mysoginist mind of Eli Roth comes another woman hating fantasy about torture and death. Was Mr. Roth simply was not hugged enough by his mother as a child? Did some woman break his heart in some unimaginably cruel way? Whatever the reasons for his misogyny, these are issues that would be better dealt with in therapy and not on the movie screen.

Poor misguided Lauren German is the alleged star of Hostel Part 2. I would call her a victim of Hostel 2 but I should save my criticisms for later in this review. German plays Beth, a rich American tourist traveling Europe with her friends, sexpot Whitney (Bijou Phillips) and introvert Lorna (Heather Mattarazzo, a long way from The Princess Diaries).

Together the three seek drinks and companionship and when the opportunity for some pretty scenery and cute guys on the cheap comes their way they can't resist. Enticed by their new friend Axelle (Vera Jordanova), they travel to an exclusive little European getaway that happens to be the site where tourists are captured and sold over the internet to rich guys for the purpose of torture and death.

What a bummer.

I am being flippant because writer Director Roth makes clear with his dull dialogue and sloppy takes that he doesn't care about these characters, he is merely setting them up for slaughter. Surprisingly, it takes a little while before the gore sets in but once it does, Roth's ugly misogynist side comes out in every way you would imagine.

I can't say I was surprised by any of the awful things that Eli Roth puts his actresses through in Hostel Part 2. The first film made quite clear his feelings about women, why would having females lead the cast of Part 2 change anything. If anything, as evidenced by Heather Mattarazzo's brutal death scene, hanging upside down nude and having her throat cut as a naked woman basks in the viscera, his hatred of women has only deepened since the last film.

I told a friend after the first Hostel, and left it out of the initial review, that I honestly felt that Eli Roth makes movies in order to keep himself from piling the bodies of real women in his basement. Again, I'm being flippant, I don't wish to be. I honestly believe Eli Roth is a very troubled soul. What other impressions are we to take away from Hostel Part 2. The awful things he does to his female characters, the callous treatment of life and death, the casual context free nudity. These seem to be the actions of a sociopath rather than a filmmaker.

Aside from the Hostel films, look at his work on Quentin Tarentino and Robert Rodriguez's Grindhouse. Roth contributed a fake trailer to Grindhouse called Thanksgiving which features a scene in which a half naked female teen is jumping on a trampoline and is impaled through her vagina with a giant knife. Some might call that humorous since it is admittedly such a ludicrous death scene. But to have even conceived such a scene is a sign of a desperately twisted and perverted soul.

Roth does, I must admit, provide a few rather big laughs. Oh, not in his abysmal film. Rather, in the film's promotional tour during which he has claimed some sort of political perspective. Interestingly, I chastised Roth in my review of the original for skirting the edge of a political perspective before retreating to more nudity and gore.

Now, as he has further strayed from any point beyond his gore and shock, he claims that he has a humorous political point about how the rest of the world see Americans. Roth now claims that Hostel Part 2 is a metaphor for the attitude Europe has taken toward Americans in the wake of the war in Iraq. I would buy that argument if the point were made in a more satisfying way in the film itself, but to have Mr. Roth merely tell us this was his point, I'm not buying it. I watched the movie, I didn't find any point, political, metaphoric or otherwise.

Hostel Part 2 exists solely as Mr. Roth's masturbatory fantasy of torture. He has a twisted grudge against women and chooses to display that on film. I wish he would simply seek therapy, and save the rest of us from being subjected to the dark corners of his perversion.

Like the recent 28 Weeks Later, another mindless example of bloodlust for profit, Hostel Part 2 deadens the soul and steals a little of your humanity as you watch it. The excesses of the horror genre are reaching a critical mass and with filmmakers like Eli Roth being feted as innovators by true artists like Quentin Tarentino and being indulged for profit by movie studios like Lionsgate, there seems to be no end to this.

The MPAA is supposed to be the arbiter of such things but bestowing a mere R-rating on something so clearly in need of the NC-17 rebuke, they have tacitly endorsed the increasingly shallow depths of character left in this genre. Hostel Part 2 is sadly not the last but merely the latest in this increasingly degrading form of filmmaking so perfectly dubbed 'horror porn'.

Movie Review Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End

Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End (2007) 

Directed by Gore Verbinski 

Written by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio 

Starring Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush, Naomie Harris, Chow Yun Fat, Bill Nighy

Release Date May 25th, 2007 

Published May 24th, 2007 

The first Pirates of the Caribbean looked at first blush like some Disney, corporate synergy deal. After all, we are talking about a real life theme park ride made into a movie. Thankfully, however, thanks to the brilliant, Oscar nominated performance of Johnny Depp and the lighthearted direction of Gore Verbinski, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl was a breath of fresh air in a sea of stale blockbusters.

The second Pirates movie, Dead Man's Chest, sadly suffered from sequelitis. Bloated to over 2 and a half hours, the film spun it\'s wheels far too often before its twist ending arrived to turn things around.

Now comes Pirates 3, At World's End which gives the series the kind of coda it deserves. Yes, it is nearly as bloated as the second film, but it is also has equal to, or even more thrills than the original and even more plot twists.

When last we saw Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) he was staring down the gullet of the Kraken, looking death in the eye and cackling like a mad man. Soon after his death his 'friends' Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), Will (Orlando Bloom) and the remaining crew of the Black Pearl realize they need Jack Sparrow back if they are going to fight the new alliance of Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) and the East India Trading Co. headed up by Lord Beckett.

With the aid of the sorceress Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), who raises Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) from the dead for extra help, they must sail to the world's end, to Davy Jones' locker to retrieve Jack. Once they have him they must convene the nine pirate lords and decide whether to run or to fight as one for the pirate way.

There are a dozen other minor subplots in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World\ 's End, not counting the number of twists and turns and shifting character allegiances that boggle the mind. If you have recently seen the second Pirates sequel, Dead Man\'s Chest, you might want to bring some cliff\'s notes on that film so you can follow some of the twists of At World\'s End.

On one hand, the script by Terry Rossio and  Ted Elliott, the writers of all three Pirates movies, has a great deal of depth and complexity. On the other hand the long bits of expository dialogue that attempt to explain the shifting sands of this plot can tend to bog down the movie, as they did to almost deathly effect in Dead Man's Chest.

Thankfully, Director Gore Verbinski rescues At World\'s End from ponderousness by delivering a quicker, funnier film with a strong visual sense and better, more spectacular special effects than anything in either of the first two films.

The centerpiece of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is a spectacular final battle scene set inside a swirling watery vortex. This scene features not merely a massive battle but also the tying of a few major plot strands, a couple of character twists and more than one major... well I\'ll leave you to see it for yourself. All spectacular stuff.

Even with the improved effects, more sure handed direction and all of those plot complications, Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow is once again the major draw of Pirates of the Caribbean. If you, like me, felt his Captain Jack was a little hemmed in by the plot in Dead Man's Chest, there is no such worry in At World's End. Captain Jack is now even crazier and more paranoid, even schizophrenic at times and it all works to grand comic effect.

Wait till you see Captain Jack's return to the screen in ATW. What a hoot. Trapped in purgatory aboard the Black Pearl in some desert oasis, Captain Jack goes all multiple personality and starts imagining hundreds of himself. Imagine a ship's crew worthy of Jack Sparrow's, full on Being John Malkovich, Charlie Kaufman style bizarre. Absolutely wonderful moment.

And I haven\'t even mentioned the crabs.

Not all is well in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I am sad to report, for you Chow Yun Fat fans, the great master of Asian rock'em sock'em cinema is underutilized in what really amounts to a cameo appearance, not what were promised from trailers and commercials which seemed to give him equal billing with the other supporting characters.

The only really great moments for Chow come in his introductory scene in a steam filled underground lair in Singapore. Facing off with Elizabeth and Captain Barbossa, with Will Turner trapped in a Han Solo moment, water tortured in a barrel, this is Pirates Return of the Jedi moment and Chow Yun Fat makes for an exceptional Jabba the Hut.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is a terrific coda for a series that began life as an ugly exercise in corporate synergy and morphed into a truly rollicking adventure series worthy of our exultation's, our huzzahs. Yo ho ho, indeed, this final Pirates film, until someone can convince Disney to spend the 200+ million necessary for another sequel, is a wonderful adventure, a high spirited comedy and most importantly, a grand stage for the great Johnny Depp.

As his Captain Jack slips into icon status, here\ 's hoping Mr. Depp is once again considered by the good people at Oscar. His At World\'s End performance is the most entertaining thing you\'ve seen on screen thus far in 2007 and likely will see all year.

Movie Review: Bug

Bug (2007) 

Directed by William Friedkin

Written by Tracy Letts

Starring Ashley Judd, Michael Shannon, Harry Connick Jr. 

Release Date May 25th, 2007 

Published August 10th, 2023 

Legendary director William Friedkin died on Monday, August 7th, 2023. On the next episode of the Everyone is a Critic Movie Review Podcast, we will be talking about the remarkable career of William Friedkin including his well known classics, The Exorcist, The French Connection, Sorcerer, and Cruising, as well as his underrated gems, The Hunted and the movie I am writing about today, Bug, starring Ashley Judd and Michael Shannon. Bug is a brilliantly paranoid thriller that takes advantage of Ashley Judd's innate sympathetic qualities and Michael Shannon's talent for skin-crawling creepiness that you can't look away from. 

At one time, in the late 1990's Ashley Judd seemed on the verge of becoming one of the top stars in the industry. After the twin successes of Kiss The Girls and Double Jeopardy, Judd was the in demand female star of the moment. Sadly, those pot-boiler mysteries that made her a star also lead to her type casting as the heroine of ever more ludicrous mystery thrillers which reached their nadir with the unwatchable, alleged thriller Twisted in 2003. Of course, what really happened to Ashley Judd's career was less about type casting and more about Harvey Weinstein's blacklist of actresses who refused to sleep with him. 

Nevertheless, after taking nearly two years away from the movies, Judd returned in a remarkably different role in the small scale, buzzy thriller Bug. Helmed by maverick director William Friedkin, Bug offered Ashley Judd a career remaking performance as a drug addicted woman sucked into the insanity of the first man to offer her positive attention in years. This is a brave and bold, full bodied performance that should have brought Judd back to big time stardom. She did keep working after Bug, but not nearly in the kind of challenging roles that a performance like this one should have earned for her. 

In Bug, Ashley Judd stars as Agnes White a waitress at what is likely the only honky-tonk lesbian bar in all of Oklahoma, though Agnes is not a lesbian herself. She has in fact survived a horribly abusive marriage to Jerry (Harry Connick Jr) and the loss of their son who was kidnapped. Jerry is recently out of jail which may explain a series of hang up phone calls to Agnes's room at a flea pit motel, appropriately named the Rustic Motel. Into Agnes's lonely desperation comes an odd, somewhat creepy, but gentle stranger named Peter Evans (Michael Shannon). Peter is a gulf war vet who attached himself to Agnes's friend R.C (Lynn Collins) and was invited to Agnes' hotel room for a night of drinking and drugs, though he does not partake.

The encounter leads to Peter spending the night, he sleeps on the floor, Agnes on the bed. Soon the two are getting close and things do eventually get physical but soon afterward bad things start happening. A seemingly inconsequential bug bite begins a paranoid delusional breakdown that quickly leads the schizophrenic Peter and the lonely desperate Agnes to a heart stopping denouement. Friedkin's talent for nasty visuals, honed on The Exorcist, is on full display in Bug. As Shannon and Judd begin to feed each other's madness, Friedkin fearlessly plumbs the depths of that madness with skin crawling, stomach turning visual touches that make Bug a visceral fright. 

Movie Review Shrek the 3rd

Shrek the 3rd (2007) 

Directed by Chris Miller

Written by Jeffrey Price, Peter S. Seaman, Aron Warner

Starring Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, Justin Timberlake, Eric Idle

Release Date May 18th, 2007

Published May 17th, 2007 

Shrek may have began its film life as a veiled slap at Disney’s fairy tale past, courtesy of Dreamworks honcho Jeffrey Katzenberg, but the film's success and the subsequent success of its sequel have shown that the big green ogre has a life and identity of its own. Sure, the shots at Disney\ 's classic fairy tales remain as Shrek offers its third installment, but the success of Shrek the 3rd comes entirely from these wonderfully familiar and lovable characters.

Shrek the 3rd finds our heroic green friend in line for the throne of Far Far Away. The king (John Cleese), turned into a frog in Shrek 2, is near death and proclaims Shrek as the next king. That is, unless Shrek can find another more worthy heir. The only thing Shrek fears more than becoming king is becoming a father. Unfortunately, he has no control over that one, Fiona (Cameron Diaz) is pregnant.

Facing fatherhood and royalty, Shrek takes up the task of locating the next in line for the throne, if he is going to be a dad, at least he can do it from his slime covered hovel in the swamp. For that to happen he has to find Fiona\'s cousin Arthur (Justin Timberlake), Artie to the kids who pick on him. Artie is the resident punching bag at his private school when Shrek shows up to tell him he could be king.

Meanwhile, with Shrek away from the kingdom, the evil Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) has raised an army of fairy tale villains to assault the kingdom and proclaim him the new king and set a trap for Shrek, Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas).

The first Shrek without the guiding hand of writer-director Andrew Adamson, moved on to the Chronicles of Narnia series, Shrek the 3rd suffers from typical sequel atrophy. This is not necessarily the fault of new directors Chris Miller and Raman Hui, rather it\'s more likely the problem of some 7 different writers who took a swipe at this screenplay.

The problems with Shrek The 3rd aren\'t deathly. The first 20 minutes or so are an awkward hodgepodge of humor that is a little adult for child audiences. It\'s not so inappropriate that parents should be wary, but it could lead to some awkward questions. After that however, the film settles in and allows these familiar characters and what we love about them to lead the way and deliver the laughs.

Credit Directors Miller and Hui and their platoon of writers for dialing back on the product placement jokes that made Shrek 2 look like a non-stop billboard. Shrek the 3rd dispenses with the product placement jokes, with storefronts like \"Versarchery\", in the first few minutes. Shrek the 3rd is still heavy on pop culture but is far less precious about it than Shrek 2.

Shrek The 3rd also has a better brain than Shrek 2. The relationship between Shrek and Artie has more depth than you expect and the characters are allowed to explore their issues in ways that deepen the characters and their bond without bogging down the plot. The pace clips along quick enough to put audiences back on the streets in under 90 minutes.

Shrek 2 delivered louder and more consistent laughs than Shrek the 3rd.  The second sequel could use an infusion of bigger laughs and more laughs that rise from the plot as opposed to the stand up comedy one liners that provide many of the giggles in Shrek the 3rd.

Neither Shrek sequel has risen to the magical level of the first film which remains fresh and funny in a brilliantly subversive fashion. Each of the sequels has been a step down in quality, a function of simple sequel fatigue. Thankfully, the first film set such a high standard that a step down in quality here and there still places the Shrek sequels above most other animated films.

Shrek the 3rd is not as great as the original or as funny as the second film but your kids will still love it and you definitely will not be bored by Shrek the 3rd.

Movie Review The Ex

The Ex (2007) 

Directed by Jesse Peretz

Written by Michael Handelman 

Starring Zach Braff, Jason Bateman, Amanda Peet, Mia Farrow, Charles Grodin, Donal Logue, Amy Adams, Paul Rudd 

Release Date May 11th, 2007 

Published May 11th, 2007

The tortured history of the movie The Ex is almost too much to explain in this space. The film began life as a workplace comedy about four guys trying to get ahead in business. That film was called Fast Track. Somewhere along the line that film disappeared and in its ashes rose The Ex, a romantic comedy with just a touch of workplace stuff from the original script.

Gone from the movie, aside from cameos, were stars Paul Rudd and Josh Charles. In are supporting performances from Charles Grodin, acting for the first time in over a decade and former Oscar nominee Amy Adams in an absurdly small and underwritten cameo. The film was purchased by the Weinstein company and released as Fast Track back in January.

For whatever reason the film was pulled from that platform release and pushed into theaters with little fanfare five months later.

Tom (Zach Braff) is about to become a father for the first time. Unfortunately, he just lost his job. With his wife Sofia (Amanda Peet) having already given up her law practice to take care of the baby, Tom is forced to accept something he never wanted to accept. Tom must move his family back to his wife\'s hometown in Ohio where he will take a job working for her father (Charles Grodin).

The job, at a new agey marketing agency, has Tom working alongside his wife\'s ex-boyfriend Chip Sanders (Jason Bateman), a parapelegic who really has it out for Tom, likely because he still carries a torch for Sofia. Chip makes Tom\ 's work life difficult, sabotaging his presentations, stealing his ideas; and he gets away with it because of everyone\'s sympathy for his handicap. Chip hopes his devious plan will drive a wedge between Tom and Sofia.

Directed by Jesse Peretz, The Ex is an occasionally funny mess. Stars Zach Braff and Jason Bateman have a natural chemistry that makes for a few really big laughs. Those laughs however, are random and not necessarily organic to this plot. The film falls back on physical humor often to cover lapses in the plot. Thankfully, both Braff and Bateman are game physical comics, they manage to sell the silly slapstick regardless of the plot constructs.

The Ex wants to be a black comedy about an evil parapalegic. It also wants elements of lighthearted romantic comedy, and there are still elements of the workplace comedy that the film used to be. It\'s a complicated mix that is likely why the film, though often laugh out loud funny, is so disjointed and confoundingly edited.

Jason Bateman would have made a terrific villain for a Farrelly Brothers comedy about a Machiavellian paraplegic. That is sort of the character he plays in The Ex, or it would be if the film had a more consistent tone. As it is, Bateman does what he can with a one note villain role that just happens to be a guy in a wheelchair.

Zach Braff is one of the most likable comic actors working today. Those of you missing his work on TV 's Scrubs are missing the biggest laughs on any sitcom on television. In The Ex, Braff uses that likability to sell a difficult and confused plot and helps to smooth over many of the bumps created by the films tortured rewrites and reshoots.

The behind the scenes story on The Ex may likely make for a funnier dark comedy than anything that is left on the screen in The Ex. Still, this is not a terrible film. A terrific cast delivers a few pretty solid laughs and works hard to help you overlook the many odd shifts in tone and focus. Zach Braff has bigger, better and funnier movies ahead of him, while Jason Bateman is assured a future as the go to supporting actor in a comedy. Together in The Ex they turn a potential disaster into a minor, forgettable trifle.

Movie Review: Vacancy

Vacancy (2007) 

Directed by Nimrod Atol

Written by Mark L. Smith

Starring Luke Wilson, Kate Beckinsale, Frank Whaley, Ethan Embry

Release Date April 20th, 2007

Published April 19th, 2007 

Who doesn't love a good chase movie? Whether it's a car chase or foot chase, there is a natural visceral reaction to watching a chase. It's automatically involving and if really dangerous, invigorating. Film fans reminisce often about the great car chase in The French Connection and, while many would be loath to admit it, the foot chase of Keanu Reeves chasing Patrick Swayze in Point Break is one hell of a stunt sequence.

The new thriller Vacancy starring Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale is one extended chase scene in a limited area with a great pace that leaves little time to catch your breath. Vacancy is a little shallow, not much beyond the chase scenes, but these are some really fun chases.

They should not have gotten off the highway. David Fox (Luke Wilson) and his wife Amy are driving back to L.A after an uncomfortable visit to her parents home. Uncomfortable because they didn't have the heart to tell mom and dad that their marriage is coming to an end. Once they arrive back in Los Angeles they will officially end things.

Getting back to L.A however won't be as easy as they thought. Wanting to get back quickly, David tried to beat heavy highway traffic with a shortcut on some backwoods road. Unfortunately, he can't read a map and soon they are lost. Worse yet, their car is making funny noises. Soon the car is crapped out on the side of the road. The closest service station is closed till the next morning so the couple takes up for the night at the Pinewood Motel, a skeevy little joint that doesn't look like it's had a guest in weeks.

The rooms are infested with cockroaches, the sheets are dirty and TV is broken. That is; except for the VCR which is stacked with tapes. On the tapes are videos that look as if they were shot in the very motel room the couple is occupying but these are no honeymoon night videos, these are snuff films and with cameras in the walls and creeps banging on the doors; David and Amy quickly realize they may be starring in a sequel if they can't find a way out.

Directed by Nimrod Atol, in his first American directorial effort, Vacancy is a chase movie on foot. David and Amy spend much of the film on the run through these little tunnels built beneath the hotel, running from one room to the next and knowing that no matter where they are, they can be seen by the cameras and the bad guys can come in whenever they want. Director Atol takes great advantage of his limited space milking it for tight, claustrophobic close ups that really amp up the tension.

The structure of Vacancy is smart and solid, a great foundation. Act one establishes the characters, act two, the chase begins and act three is even more chasing. Somehow, despite all the running in circles, the film never begins to chase its own tale. The logic is simple, survive or die, the plot needs no more development beyond that simple rationale.

When directors are looking for an actress who can be vulnerable and invulnerable within minutes they look for Kate Beckinsale. The steely star of the Underworld series is underrated as, arguably, the female action star of this decade. She kicks some serious ass in the Underworld movies and in Vacancy she twists from helpless to heedless in a quick emotional burst.

Luke Wilson is the modern day everyman slacker. The everyman of the past was the type of guy you could share a beer with. The new everyman is the kind of guy you could play videogames with before going for some beer and red bull. Wilson. like his protege Vince Vaughn, typifies the modern day everyman with his slacker charm and tousle haired handsomeness.

In Vacancy, Wilson slips his slacker charm in favor of sweat soaked determination. The key to Wilson's performance is that he never slips into action hero mode. There are no sudden bursts of violence, he is not suddenly imbued with the strengths and skills of a navy seal, Wilson's David is just an average guy in a not so average, dangerous situation. His average guy performance gives Vacancy a real, honest suspense. 

Shallow but with a fast pace and two terrific lead performances, Vacancy tells a typical thriller story just a little better than most similar films. Director Nimrod Atol is a little light on the logic but he makes up for it with his style and his quick pacing. Vacancy is not a movie that holds up to much scrutiny and won't stick in the back of your head long after you see it. While it's onscreen however; Vacancy is an exciting, sometimes edge of your seat thriller.

For fans of Wilson and Beckinsale and fans of a good chase thriller, Vacancy is a must see.

Movie Review Slow Burn

Slow Burn (2007) 

Directed by Wayne Beach 

Written by Wayne Beach 

Starring Ray Liotta, LL Cool J, Mekhi Phifer, Taye Diggs, Chiwetel Ejiofor 

Release Date April 13th, 2007

Published April 15th, 2007 

I have long been a believer in the auteur theory. The theory goes that the director is the author of the film and it is the director's vision above all others that makes a great film. This has bred within me a love of the writer-director, that rare breed of filmmaker who controls each of the most important aspects of the storytelling process.

Writer-directors, in my experience, make better films because the vision of the film belongs to them and them alone. But of course, just being a writer director does not make you a great storyteller. Case in point writer-director Wayne Beach the auteur behind the thriller Slow Burn. This convoluted mystery is the perfect example of a case where a director could have used a trained screenwriter to clean up some of the more goof ball aspects of an otherwise well directed movie.

Cole Ford (Ray Liotta) has risen through the ranks of the District Attorney's office at record pace. Not long ago he was a homicide detective taking night classes to become a lawyer. Now as DA he has his eye on the Mayor's office and his rags to riches political story has him profiled by a Vanity Fair reporter, Ty Trippin (Chiwetel Ejiofor).

However, Ford's rise to the top looks to come to a crashing end when his top gang crimes prosecutor, Nora Timmer (Jolene Blalock), murders a man in her home. She claims the man, Isaac (Mekhi Pfifer) was stalking her and had attempted to rape her when she shot him. Her story however, is full of holes, mostly poked by an informant, Luther Pinks (LL Cool J), who knows far more than he should.

Turning from the prosecutor to the informant, Cole finds two different stories of murder emerging. Each of the stories links back to a major drug dealer and some kind of event that will take place at 5 Am, some 5 hours from the moment of the murder.

Written and Directed by Wayne Beach, Slow Burn is a stylishly rendered attempt at modern noir. Unfortunately, the script is far too convoluted and utterly ludicrous to be taken seriously. Beach sets up a story of race and politics that has some potential, if he were Spike Lee. Wayne Beach is no Spike Lee and thus his racial material doesn't get much deeper than one allegedly interracial romance.

The racial aspect of Slow Burn is strange because it is so shallow and yet so intricately woven into the story. Jolene Blalock's Nora character passes for black but may in fact be white. The psychology of why she felt the need to pass for black, or vice versa, should have been worth exploring. However, Beach doesn't have any insight into this character.

It doesn't help that Blalock, though strikingly beautiful, is a cypher. Not believable as a strong black woman or as a woman trying to be black, Blalock's performance is wooden and predictable. Her performance is in fact so weak it is fair to wonder if Beach was forced to skim her character in order to avoid her performance. That would explain the lack of depth and how the story is hamstrung by lack of insight.

Of course, it could just be that Beach didn't have much beyond his neo-noir pretension to begin with.

You have to respect the commitment of Ray Liotta. He has made a number of pretty bad movies over the years but each performance is committed and even believable. Liotta has no second gear; he goes at each role for boredom and believes in each character he plays no matter how bizarre everything around him may be. As Slow Burn clumsily ambles to its predictable conclusion, Liotta is often affecting and believable. Sadly, the story, and his co-stars are far too inferior for Liotta to rescue.

LL Cool J certainly seems to be having fun playing a character who may as well have been called Red Herring. His character evolves to fit whatever odd shift in logic the story takes as if his character were being rewritten on the spot so he could deliver whatever necessary expository dialogue needed to make sense of this convoluted mystery. At Least he's having fun; just listen to him deliver such goofball lines as "She smelled like potatoes and every man wanted to be the gravy".

LL has a number of lines like that, "She smelled like an orange, ready to be peeled", and he delivers each with a voice that seems just about to burst into laughter.

There is a large kitsch factor on Slow Burn. Both LL Cool J and Jolene Blalock deliver performances that are laughable to the point of turning the film into a campy unintentional comedy. The script is bad enough with its half baked plot strands and predictable ending. Throw in LL Cool J and Jolene Blalock's performances and the kitsch factor nearly makes Slow Burn so bad it's good.

Okay, maybe not so good; but entertaining in ways that I'm sure writer-director Wayne Beach never intended.

Movie Review Perfect Stranger

Perfect Stranger (2007)

Directed by James Foley 

Written by Todd Komarnicki

Starring Halle Berry, Bruce Willis, Giovanni Ribisi, Gary Dourdan

Release Date April 13th, 2007 

Published April 12th, 2007 

The film is called Perfect Stranger but, sadly, Bronson Pinchot and Mark Linn Baker are nowhere to be found. Without question, after watching this basic cable reject thriller starring Halle Berry and Bruce Willis; I would have much preferred a big screen update of the small screen fish out of water comedy Perfect Strangers than the seemy, lurid, sleazy melodrama Perfect Stranger.

If you weren't buying the idea of an Oscar curse after last week's Hillary Swank debacle The Reaping it should become an undeniable fact after you see Halle Berry in Perfect Stranger.

When her childhood friend Grace (Nicki Aycox) is found to be the murderer, investigative journalist Roweena Price (Halle Berry) decides to go undercover and get the man she believes is responsible. His name is Harrison Hill (Bruce Willis) a high powered ad executive with a penchant for women who are not his wife and a kinky fascination with online chatting.

With the help of her newspaper researcher and computer wiz, Miles (Giovonni Ribisi), Roweena creates two different false identities, one is Catherine Pogue who takes a temp job in Hill's ad agency. The other is the online persona of Veronica who engages Hill online and uses his love on dirty talk against him. Can she get him to admit to murder or at least divulge incriminating details? That would be what a logical story arc might require, but that is not what you can expect from Perfect Stranger.

Directed by James Foley, Perfect Stranger is an unending sleazefest. A movie so icky you will need a shower afterward. Foley's idea of building a contentious, titillating thriller is to craft the worst possible set of characters and awkwardly aim them at one another. Then, when that gets dull, he simply trains his camera, uneasily, on the near naked form of Halle Berry in scenes so creepy that even the attractive Ms. Berry comes off sleazy.

What Bruce Willis was doing in Perfect Stranger is anyone's guess. This is the most ineffectual and forgettable performance of Willis' career, a career that includes both Hudson Hawk and Color of Night. The charismatic Diehard star here is wooden and lost in a sea of tawdry, basic cable cliches. His high powered ad man is basically a plot placeholder whose actions barely give context to this goofball thriller plot.

Giovonni Ribisi is the most effortlessly creepy actor working today. Whether it's his rat- like features or those serial killer eyes, he has that creep quality that makes him perfect for creepy roles in movies like Perfect Stranger. So, why then does director James Foley feel it's necessary to try and make him even creepier than he already is? In Perfect Stranger, Ribisi is allegedly a good guy and yet he may be the sleaziest of the sleazy characters in the film.

On top of a goofball thriller plot that employs one of the least believable, or logical, twists you've ever seen, director James Foley and writer Todd Komarnicki also toss in political scandal and a war protest. The film opens with a ludicrous exchange between Berry's undercover 'reporter' and a Republican Senator from New York whom she's got the goods on in an intern scandal ala the Mark Foley. Representative Foley from Florida is not related to director James Foley; as far as I know.

What is the point of Perfect Stranger? It's not entertaining, the characters are too sleezy for this to be conventionally entertaining. Is it supposed to be titillating? I assume so but with all of the sleeze poured onto the screen any and all attempts at being sexy or alluring are undone. Even the unbelievably beautiful Halle Berry is hard to admire in Perfect Stranger because of the way the camera doesn't capture her but rather leers at her in the way a dirty old man might watch a stripper.

Perfect Stranger is a sleezed out; late night cable movie dressed in big budget Hollywood clothes. Any movie that could make a man uncomfortable while ogling Halle Berry is clearly one big creepy mess. Admittedly, there is a twisted part of my psyche that wants you dear reader to see this movie just so you too can experience one of most outlandish, ludicrous twist endings ever put to film.

Rumor has it that director James Foley filmed three different endings for Perfect Stranger with three different twists. If this is the one he thought was the best; one can only imagine the laugh out-loniness of the endings he rejected. Maybe those endings will be on the DVD, in which case a camp classic of awfulness could be in the making.

Movie Review Pathfinder

Pathfinder (2007)

Directed by Marcus Nispel 

Written by Laeta Kalogridis

Starring Karl Urban, Moon Bloodgood, Russell Means, Clancy Brown

Release Date April 13th, 2007

Published April 14th, 2007 

The movie Pathfinder exists as an example of director Marcus Nispel's love of ultra-violence. Nispel, who last directed 2003's Texas Chainsaw Massacre re-imagining, has an affinity for violence that is quite curious considering his career prior to making feature films. Nispel is a former music video director who did fine work for artists like George Michael, Janet Jackson, Amy Grant and Billy Joel.

From that resume one could deduce that Marcus was desperate for a shot of manly ultra-violence. Thus we get Pathfinder, an exceptionally well shot bit of blood and guts action that forgets that there is more to filmmaking than just how cool you can make a severed head look as it floats through the air or how red the arterial splash is coming from a victims jugular.

Karl Urban stars in Pathfinder as 'the ghost'. Born a Viking, he rejected his plundering parents and was later discovered by a kindly Indian woman who took him in and raised him as her own. Now a man, Ghost, as his people call him must defend his new family against his old family. The vikings have returned to the new world to finish what they started. They wish to conquer this land and kill anyone who gets in the way.

That is the set up for Pathfinder, the payoff is some serious, hardcore violence and cruelty weighed down by some seriously bad acting and boring exposition. Director Marcus Nispel, working from a script by Laeta Kalogridis, sets up boring characters as placeholders for good and evil. The Indians are a kind, happy, sharing community. The vikings are savage, destructive meanies. And never shall nuance be introduced.

The film threatens, only momentarily, a social commentary on how America was founded on the blood of Indians who were robbed of their land and killed mercilessly if they refused to give it up. However, director Nispel doesn't have the patience for subtext and instead crafts a series of dull expository scenes as buffers between the astonishing bits of violence.

I must say that as bad as most of Pathfinder is, the violence as directed by Nispel and captured by cinematographer Daniel C. Pearl is exceptional. Though I could do without the hamfisted slow-mo's and mind numbing score, the violence of the sword play, the ax cuts and arrow blasts is eye catching and in a better film could have been really amazing. As it is, it's only a technical marvel.

Where Nispel fails in Pathfinder is the same place he failed with his take on Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's a failure to realize that the most compelling violence comes when we care about the outcome. The cardboard cutouts of good and evil that Nispel delivers in Texas Chainsaw Massacre and now in Pathfinder are incapable of involving an audience emotionally in whether they live or die.

Mystery Science Theater fans and lovers of bad movies everywhere will likely find much to enjoy about Pathfinder. With its Indian homilies and stereotypical noble savage portrayals the film is a vaguely racist hoot. Vaguely racist only because the Indians here are the good guys. Nevertheless, their onscreen portrayal in Pathfinder is only a politically correct step above the Wackowi tribe from TV's F-Troop.

Oh, if only the Indians in the movie were the only unintentional humor of Pathfinder. But no, wait till you see the first ever fight scene on sleds. Yes, sleds. Not real plastic and rope sleds like you had when you were a kid but rather a prehistoric sort of sled made from a Viking shield by our hero and used to blast down the side of a mountain like an X-Games athlete in a Mountain Dew commercial.

Then there is star Karl Urban who I swear is not this bad an actor. I know I have seen better, more compelling work from Mr. Urban, I just can't think of it right now. In Pathfinder Urban exists only to show off six pack abs and a tight backside covered only in a loincloth. Why would this be important to a movie that no woman in her right mind would ever watch intentionally? I have no idea, but there he is in all his oiled up glory.

Urban mumbles his every line of dialogue as if it were incidental to his performance. Who knows, maybe it was only incidental. There really isn't much for Urban or any of the characters to say in Pathfinder. As I said earlier, the film is merely a vehicle for director Marcus Nispel to display his love of spraying blood, flying heads and dismembered guts.

In that sense, Pathfinder is a modest success. The violence is extraordinary and eye popping, literally in the case of one ugly viking. It's the stuff in between the violence, the long, interminable interludes of Indian stereotypes and viking growling that makes a mess of the film.

For fans of hardcore violence and rock hard abs; Pathfinder is like a low grade 300. Not as compelling or well made as that Zak Snyder's blockbuster, but similar in its aims. The violence is extraordinary and honestly very well rendered by director Marcus Nispel. And star Karl Urban would be right at home on that Spartan battlefield with his shaved chest oiled up and ready for battle.

Pathfinder is a bad movie with great violence which leaves me at a loss. I can't recommend the film and yet I'm modestly impressed with some of it.

Movie Review: Disturbia

Disturbia (2007) 

Directed by D.J Caruso 

Written by Christopher Landon, Carl Ellsworth 

Starring Shia LeBeouf, Aaron Yoo, Sarah Roemer, Carrie Ann Moss, David Morse

Release Date April 13th, 2007

Published April 13th, 2007

We all have movies we love that no one else even vaguely remembers. For me, one of those movies was director D.J Caruso's independent debut feature The Salton Sea. A dour but very clever modern nor starring Val Kilmer, The Salton Sea is a triumph of smart scripting and clever direction. Caruso's work since that debut, Taking Lives, Two For The Money, have been slipshod big star vehicles that are as slick as they are forgettable.

For his latest film, Disturbia, however; Caruso looks to be back in form. A modern, teenage take on Hitchcock's Rear Window, Disturbia uses the tools and techniques of classic cinema to craft a tricky, if somewhat predictable, little thriller; much more entertaining than you might expect.

Kale (Shia LeBeouf) lost his dad in a horrific car accident. Since then he has become a problem child whose troubles come to a head one day when he punched out his Spanish teacher. A sympathetic judge keeps Kale out of juvenile hall. The compromise however is no picnic. Kale will spend his summer trapped in his house under the ever watchful electronic watchdog, an ankle bracelet.

At first it's all videogames and cable TV but when mom (Carrie Ann Moss) cuts off both of his sources of entertainment, Kale finds his attention drawn to his neighbors windows. Using his high powered video camera and his dad's old binoculars, Kale begins capturing his neighbors routines. On one side he finds the new girl next door Ashley (Sarah Roemer). On the other side is Robert Turner, a creepy loner who fits the profile of a serial killer that Kale and his pal Ronny (Aaron Yoo) have been following on the news.

Soon the girl next door has joined the boys in their stakeout of the creepy neighbor who may or may not be a serial killer.

Disturbia takes the classic conceit of Hitchcock's Rear Window and updates it for the Ipod generation. Using plenty of modern gadgetry, director D.J Caruso uses technique to create tension and strong characters to create rooting interest and Disturbia becomes surprisingly involving. When it's quiet and watching Kale unfold his relationship with Ashley it has a John Hughes feel. When the tension is ratcheted up, Disturbia becomes old school Hitchcock by way of radio shack.

Shia Le Beouf is a young actor whose appeal is difficult to isolate. He isn't handsome, he doesn't cut a tough guy figure by any stretch. What he does have though is that classically Tom Hanks kind of goofy everyman thing. It is that quality that allows him to play the unique duality of Kale in Disturbia. On the one hand, he is an unlikely romantic interest for the beautiful girl next door. On the other hand he is the unlikely action hero running to the rescue.

David Morse is so effortlessly creepy he could be Giovonni Ribisi. With his imposing height and disquieting calm, Morse plays the creepy part of a serial with the zeal of a great method actor taking on Shakespeare's Hamlet. The script undercuts Morse's character by giving away too much too soon but that doesn't stop Morse from projecting menace well enough to keep you glued to the screen.

If there is one thing that irritates me about Disturbia it is that faux hip title. Disturbia as a title is too clever by half. It's just so market tested, as if an ad executive were trying to invent some hip teenage slang. Of course, if the one issue I can find with a movie is its title, that must be a pretty good movie. And, Disturbia is a pretty good movie, not great but really good.

Disturbia is a quick on its feet modern thriller, slightly predictable but endlessly watchable. Director D.J Caruso is old school in his approach to crafting and creating tension. He's also quite modern in the way he sews together two different genre aspects, the thriller and the coming of age romance. It helps to have a talented young cast to deliver on your vision and Caruso is blessed.

Shia Le Beouf may be a star in the making, watch for him in Transformers this summer, see him in Disturbia soon.

Movie Review: Aqua Teen Hunger Force The Movie

Aqua Teen Hunger Force The Movie (2007)

Directed by Matt Maiellaro, Dave Willis

Written by Dave Willis, Matt Maiellaro

Starring Dana Snyder, Dave Willis, Carey Means, Andy Merrill

Release Date April 13th, 2007

Published April 14th, 2007

In my early 20's I had a brief bout of depression. I was placed on a drug called Wellbutrin which took the blues away but left me completely numb. After about a day I realized I would rather be miserable than feel nothing. Watching the new movie adaptation of the Cartoon Network cult fave Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters, I was reminded of my Wellbutrin experience. Walking out of the movie, I felt nothing. I didn't hate the film, I didn't like the film. I was actively indifferent to it. It's the most unique reaction I've ever had to a movie and, somehow, the most forgettable.

A group of crime fighting foodstuffs, Frylock -a flying box of talking French fries-, Master Shake -a shuffling, talking milk shake- and Meatwad - a rolling, talking, childlike piece of meat- have been cult faves among stoners and late night drinkers since its cartoon network debut 4 years ago. The show, only 15 minutes in length or less, was arguably the single most scatological and scattershot pop culture satire since Andy Warhol trained his camera on a blank wall for several hours.

In the first feature length Aqua Teen adventure, our heroes are attempting to assemble a piece of exercise equipment that may in fact destroy the world. The guys are aware of some of the danger but plow ahead anyway. Standing in their way is a pair of stoned. lazy aliens from the future and a mohawk and duck bill wearing robot that humps everything. Along for the ride is AQHF's poor put upon, loudmouth neighbor Carl who is often the victim of their shenanigans, and is especially this time their victim.

That is what I could make of the narrative. For the most part, ATHFT is a meditative experience that never rises above the level of a dull not unpleasant hum. A droning bore with sometimes eye catching visuals and minor jokes, Aqua Teen is mostly just bizarre. A character called Dr. Weird dresses as a chicken, a robot humps everything in sight. Exercise equipment comes to life and becomes a killing machine. Wildly scatological ideas that have zero context and no obvious humor beyond the mere creation of them as thoughts turned into images.

My reaction to the Aqua Teen Hunger Force the movie was something I would describe as active indifference. I know that I watched the movie. I know that I didn't hate the movie but I certainly did not like it either. I was entirely apathetic toward it. The movie stirred no emotion in me whatsoever. I was completely numbed by it, hypnotized by some of the exceptionally bizarre scenery but still, by the end, completely dispassionate.

I can't tell you how many times people have told me that I just don't get it. However, when I press them on why I don't get it; they have no answer. Could the joke be so meta that it's actually a prank on the people who think they get a joke that doesn't really exist? That would go a long way toward explaining the bizarre experience that is Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie For Theaters.

Movie Review The Hoax

The Hoax (2007) 

Directed by Lasse Hallstrom 

Written by William Wheeler

Starring Richard Gere, Alfred Molina, Marcia Gay Harden, Hope Davis, Julie Delpy, Stanley Tucci 

Release Date April 6th, 2007

Published April 8th, 2007 

A biography of a man famous for a fake biography, what an inspired idea. No doubt the great Clifford Irving chuckles at the thought. The man who made his name by inventing, from public record and his fabulously tricky mind, a biography of Howard Hughes, must chuckle endlessly at how his famed hoax has made him a real celebrity.

This multi-million dollar hoax that engulfed his closest friend and his wife, landing all of them in jail, is now the security blanket of his fame and fortune. It could not have turned out more fortuitous unless he had managed to skip the 14 months he spent in federal prison. This grand illusion he spun into a million dollar book deal has, since sending him to prison, allowed him to become an honest bestseller.

The scam has now led Irving to have his life's greatest and most fantastic achievement portrayed in a film, The Hoax, in which he is played with gumption and a touch of crazy by Richard Gere. Directed by Lasse Hallstrom, the film takes a few minor liberties with the true story; but I'm sure Clifford Irving won't mind.

In the spring of 1970 Clifford Irving, a bestselling novelist and biographer, found himself with a book no one would publish. His latest novel, though praised as a work of angry humor, has just been declined by his long time publisher McGraw Hill and even his friend and editor Andrea Tate (Hope Davis) seems ready to write him.

The desperate moment leads to the invention of a story so fantastic that only master storytellers and con-man like Clifford Irving could come up with it. Bursting into Tate's office he declares that he has the story of the century and he is putting it up to the highest bidder. That story becomes the auto-biography of Howard Hughes, and the highest bidder is McGraw Hill, because there were no other bidders. There really was no book.

Teaming with his best friend and fellow author Richard Suskind (Alfred Molina), Clifford plans to take advantage of the eccentric millionaires current status as a reclusive nutjob, alleged to be hiding out in empty hotels, terrified of germs and slowly deteriorating, on the theory that the crazed Hughes won't come after them for fear of having reveal himself in public.

Together, and with the help of Clifford's wife Edith (Marcia Gay Harden), Clifford and Richard will craft the Hughes story from public records, interviews with friends and associates and fantasy tales of Hughes interviews conducted by Clifford himself to create this unusual and unlikely narrative. They will get the publisher to advance them hundreds of thousands of dollars and take advantage of Swiss banks to launder the money. The plan is foolproof... to Clifford anyway.

Little did the flim flam man and his partners realize just how big this story was. How this story would not only affect the frail but feisty Mr. Hughes but also the President of the United States Richard M. Nixon and, allegedly, change the face of history.

Directed by Lasse Hallstrom, The Hoax is a welcome departure from the directors usual brand of cloying uplift. Hallstrom's films, The Cider House Rules, Chocalat and The Shipping News are brutal exercises in sickly sweet life lessons. Overly precious with a complete lack of self awareness, these films show a director whose mind is on tugging heartstrings, not making a truly heartfelt film.

The Hoax is a completely different film. Gone is any attempt at uplift. Where there was no self awareness, there is now a light hearted wink and a nod. There is sincere humor in the storytelling and direction of The Hoax which delights in conspiring with Irving to pull off his hoax while presenting an unvarnished look at who this guy was. Clifford Irving was a man incapable of the truth, a literally physical aversion to telling a true story. The Hoax, through the playful, heartfelt performance of Richard Gere nails just who Clifford Irving had to be to attempt; and nearly pulls off; one of the greatest cons in history.

Casting a movie is an art form that is highly underappreciated. The wrong actor in a role can destroy any script; no matter how good that script really is. The Hoax could not be anymore perfectly cast. Richard Gere delivers the single most satisfying performance of his long and illustrious career. In recent years the man once called 'the sexiest man alive' has made a living with sullen, wooden characters in cut rate mainstream program pictures.

There have been good performances, I really liked his wronged husband in Unfaithful, but it seemed the charm was waning and that Gere was restless and bored. The Hoax finds Richard Gere rejuvenated, full of life and bursting with the kind of charisma that made him a star decades ago. His Clifford Irving is an astonishing work of guts and wit and the kind of charm that only the best actors can communicate. This is a first rate performance worthy of Gere's first serious consideration for an Oscar.

The supporting cast is equally sensational. Alfred Molina, as Clifford's best friend, crafts a schlubby, lovable lost soul who would be easily enthralled by someone like Clifford Irving. A talented writer in his own right, Suskind was drawn into this web of lies of his own will but Molina conveys beautifully the longing for glory, even the reflected kind, that likely drew Suskind to Irving.

Hope Davis is tough as nails with just the right touch of naiveté as Irving's editor while Oscar winner Marcia Gay Harden provides the emotional center of Irving's life as his ex-wife. Stanley Tucci, Zeljko Ivanek and Eli Wallach each deliver spot on supporting work in cameos that serve to deepen what is an already strong cast.

2007 has been a strong year already with movies like Zodiac, Smokin' Aces and Breach setting a very strong tone. Now comes The Hoax and it is the best of the bunch. Smart, funny, and brilliantly constructed, The Hoax delivers on the best work of director Lasse Hallstrom and actor Richard Gere, really, in their entire careers.

A truly engaging and sensational piece of work, The Hoax is a movie that you absolutely must see.

Movie Review: Blades of Glory

Blades of Glory (2007) 

Directed by Josh Gordon, Will Speck

Written by John Altschuler

Starring Will Ferrell, Jon Heder, Will Arnett, Amy Poehler, Jenna Fischer

Release Date March 30th, 2007

Published March 29th, 2007

How does a film critic approach something like the new Will Ferrell comedy Blades of Glory. It's not so much a movie as it is a series of skits featuring the same characters. Yes, there is the vague sense of a narrative and a sense of filmmaking skill involved in the capturing of the various skits, but is it really a movie in the classic sense of the term? Not really. Blades Of Glory may not be a real 'movie' but as a series of skits; cut together; and presented on the big screen; it is rather hilarious.

Will Ferrell stars in Blades Of Glory as Chazz Michael Michaels. We are told that he is a world championship figure skater whose showmanship has earned him the nickname "Sex on Ice". His main rival is a sweet natured, orphan turned prodigy; Jimmy McElroy (Jon Heder). When we meet them for the first time, in dueling TV highlight packages, they are competing for the world championship in men's figure skating.

Michaels with his trademark fireballs and McElroy with his own trademark bird-like moves, manage a tie for the gold medal but neither is satisfied. On the medal stand the two rivals argue and push and shove and finally break down into the kind of catfight one might not stereotypically expect from figure skaters. Soon both skaters are bloodied and the mascot is on fire.

The fight gets both skaters stripped of their medals and banned from skating. Oh, but there is a loophole. They were banned from men's singles skating, not pairs. Eventually, Jimmy's coach (Craig T. Nelson) gets the brilliant idea to pair the rivals as the first male figure skating pair in history, much to the dismay of the top pairs couple in the world Stranz and Fairchild Van Waldenberg (Will Arnett and Amy Poehler). The brother sister pair make it their mission to destroy their new rival with the help of their mousy little sister Katie (Jenna Fischer) who caught Jimmy's eye.

OK, there is a semblance of a plot here. However, watching it unfold and describing it are two very different things. Watching Blades of Glory I was left waiting for the movie to begin. Every scene is the set-up of a bit, closed with a punchline ending. There is little story progression, almost no character development and what little there is, is undone quickly by another gag/punchline ending. That said, most of the gags and punchlines in Blades of Glory are pretty funny and that goes a long way in excusing the film's faults.

I promise not to give away any of the great jokes in Blades of Glory except to say keep an eye on the hot dog guy. This one line day player has the best joke in the movie. Also stealing the show is costume designer Julie Weiss whose Flash Gordon meets Tron designs are absolutely priceless. The costumes in the final performance may in fact get the loudest laugh of anything in the film.

Will Ferrell is... Will Ferrell. He's everything you expect him to be in Blades of Glory, obnoxious, clueless, occasionally drunk and it works for him. What is odd is watching Ferrell try and share the screen with Heder who, though likable, is not on Will's plain in terms of starpower. In fact, Ferrell's role is really a glorified supporting role. Heder is the one with the more pronounced arc and he gets the girl. Ferrell merely sweeps in for punchlines. Pretty well, all of them.

For those who stick around for the credits and want to know who that is singing that oddly earnest sounding "Blades of Glory" theme song, it's not Survivor or the remaining members of Boston. It's former American Idol contestant Bo Bice.

I don't think Blades of Glory is very good as a movie but as a series of laughs strung together; I must admit, I laughed alot. Will Ferrell as a figure skater is enough to produce a chuckle. When decked out in spandex skating to Foreigner tunes, he is just a scream. There may not be a plot but when the jokes are this funny it's hard to complain to much. I guess; you could call this a recommendation for Blades of Glory.

Movie Review Shooter

Shooter (2007) 

Directed by Antoine Fuqua 

Written by Jonathan Lemkin 

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Michael Pena, Danny Glover, Kate Mara, Rhona Mitra

Release Date March 23rd, 2007 

Published March 23rd, 2007 

Mark Wahlberg is on the verge of major superstardom. Coming off his Oscar nominated performance in The Departed, Wahlberg is one major starring role away from that rarefied air of a 20 million dollar man. Unfortunately, his latest starring role, Shooter, is not the career transforming movie he was looking for. An abysmal mess of action movie cliches, Shooter is a step backward, in fact, for Wahlberg who delivers one of the least appealing performances of his career.

Bob Lee Swagger (Mark Wahlberg) is one of the best snipers in the world. As demonstrated early in the movie, he can take out a can of beef stew from a mile away. That is why security contractors led by Colonel Johnson (Danny Glover) turn to him to find out how an assassin might kill the President with a near impossible shot from more than a mile away.

Though not exactly keen on helping a President he has deep philosophical differences with, Bob casually reads the 9/11 report and talks of disdain for wars over oil; just to give you an idea of his political bent, Swagger agrees to help out. It turns out to be a fateful decision. The asassination happens despite Bob's help and in fact because of it, the men he is working for are the actual assassins and Bob it seems is their patsy.

Now he must team up with a rookie FBI agent, babyfaced Michael Pena, to take down the shady conspiracy. To do so, they will have to kill a whole heck of alot of people.

Directed by Antoine Fuqua, a master of style over substance filmmaking, Shooter has no real plot but rather plot hangers on which scenes of extreme violence are hung. On the bright side, much of that extreme violence is pretty cool looking. A siege on a farmhouse where Wahlberg and Pena kill some 20 or more nameless henchmen brings back fond goofball memories of Schwarzeneger's Commando and Stallone's Rambo.

Naturally, this being a throwback to action movies past there is eye candy in Shooter. Hot redhead Kate Mara, last seen in the underappreciated We Are Marshall, plays Wahlberg's love interest who by chance happens to spend much time in bondage wearing only a bra and jeans. And then there is smokin' babe Rhona Mitra, best known from TV's Nip/Tuck, who plays Pena's FBI partner who, though she keeps her clothes, models some lovely short skirts that I doubt are standard issue for an FBI agent.

Allegedly, when it comes to the action/thriller genre, we are supposed to accept plot holes and dumb luck that allow the lead character to escape certain capture or death. Shooter abuses the dumb luck in scenes so appallingly contrived that Jean Claude Van Damme would scoff. What luck that Swagger manages to steal a car that happens to have medical supplies in the truck right after he had been shot twice.

What luck that the one guy in the world without a television happens to be an expert in weapons who can help Swagger figure out who set him up. To ask for suspension of disbelief once or twice is cool, to keep asking over and over until all logic is abandoned in favor of utter contrivance is just too much.

Shooter compounds its goofball plot with a political perspective as ludicrous as any of the outsized action scenes in the film. Wahlberg's Bob Lee Swagger presents a pseudo-liberal political perspective that he defends with a gun. In a more self aware movie that could be played for ironic laughs, but Shooter is not a satire. The film wears a simplistic anti-war, anti-conservative perspective on its sleeve right down to showing Swagger casually reading the 9/11 report and chiding his enemies for their wars for oil.

Kudos to Mark Wahlberg and director Antoine Fuqua for wanting their film to be relevant but if they really want to get their point across; they need to do it in a smarter, more self aware movie. Shooter is a blood and guts, old school action picture. Attempting to shoehorn political commentary into the film only serves to make the politics seem as irrelevant as the film itself.

The most disappointing thing about Shooter is the thing that should have been its biggest strength. Star Mark Wahlberg. In one of the most unappealing performances of his career, Wahlberg mumbles his way through a charisma free performance. Handicapped by a script that gives him little more to do than shoot and grunt, Wahlberg brings very little life to this performance.

Mark Wahlberg is far too good an actor for such dopey material as Shooter. Brainless action crossed with mindless political cliche, Shooter feigns depth by appealing to a left wing mindset but insults that same left wing with its goofball liberalism defended with a big gun. It's true that Shooter has its heart in the right place; but when its purpose is so poorly expressed, the point is desperately missed.

Wahlberg will bounce back from this. Shooter may not launch him into the star territory of Tom Cruise, Will Smith or even Mel Gibson, but he's too talented not to make it there eventually. That is, if he can bypass idiot movies like Shooter.

Movie Review Premonition

Premonition (2007) 

Directed by Mennon Yapo 

Written by Bill Kelly 

Starring Sandra Bullock, Julian McMahon, Nia Long, Kate Nelligan, Amber Valletta, Peter Stormare

Release Date March 16th, 2007

Published March 16th, 2007

Sandra Bullock's star has dimmed a great deal since the days when she was touted as replacing Julia Roberts as the queen of romantic comedy 12 years ago thanks to 1995's While You Were Sleeping. In this decade she has had only one legitimate hit movie, Miss Congeniality, that was sold on her star power. On the surface that would seem to reflect badly on Ms. Bullock.

In fact, however, there is a more complicated and interesting reason for her seeming decline. Sandra Bullock made the conscious choice not to be pigeonholed by her rom-com persona. Thus why she has made such eclectic and low key choices as  28 Days, Murder By Numbers and her small ensemble turn in the Oscar winner Crash. None of these movies has done anything for her box office reputation but they are, at the very least, risky and interesting choices.

For her latest film, the thriller Premonition, Bullock returns to big budget, mainstream, starring roles and chooses a most unlikely and uneven film choice. Premonition is a shallow, time shifting weepy about a woman who loses her husband over and over again until we in the audience aren't sure if we are cheering for Bullock to save her man or for the husband to finally disappear for good.

In Premonition, Sandra Bullock stars as Linda Hanson, a suburban mom of two lovely pre-teen girls (Shyann McLure and Courtney Taylor Burress). Her home is well tended, she runs everyday and keeps in great shape and yet there is something tearing at the fabric of her perfect suburban sprawl. Linda's husband Jim (Julian McMahon) has grown distant since the birth of their daughters and Linda doesn't know what to do about it.

All of that however, goes out the window when Jim is killed in a car accident. On his way to what he said was a job interview, though there is fair suspicion that Jim was meeting with another woman. Linda and her family are devastated, that is, till the next morning when Linda wakes up to find Jim in the kitchen making breakfast for his daughters.

Was it just a nightmare or a premonition? That becomes the point of the film as day after day Linda awakens to different days of the week and different realities before and after Jim's death.

Directed by German auteur Mennan Yapo, in his American debut, Premonition rolls out a time space continuum crossed with Groundhog Day plot and proceeds to beat it into the ground with repeated ridiculousness, lost and found plot lines and inconsistencies you could drive a semi truck through, oh sorry Jim.

The script by Bill Kelly, who has written nothing since the 1999 comedy Blast From the Past, is a mess of unfinished ideas and pointless existentialism. This is a film that is desperate to be deep but is far too lazy to figure out just what is deep or compelling about this plot. The story cannot even adhere to its own basic logic by connecting the various plot strands that either hang unfinished or simply peter out due to lack of interest.

Sandra Bullock has always had the ability to earn and keep an audience's sympathy and that is still the case; even in trash like Premonition. Even playing this ditzy, overwhelmed character who is blessed with all of the same knowledge that we in the audience are but refuses to make much use of it in her ever increasingly dire situation, Bullock somehow retains our sympathy.

The problem isn't Sandra Bullock, it's a bad script and a director more interested in camera histrionics and moody, gray skied atmosphere than in telling a smart compelling story. I must admit, director Mennan Yapo is a talented scenarist. With his best friend and cinematographer Torsten Lippstock, Yapo delivers some very interesting and unique visuals. His liberal use of handheld cameras gives the story a chaotic urgency that would have served well in a more coherent story. Unfortunately coherence is the last word I would use to describe the abysmal mess that is Premonition.

Sandra Bullock's best days at the box office are behind her but at least she still makes interesting and risky choices. Unfortunately, starring in Premonition isn't a choice that pays off well. Incoherent, ludicrous and outright irritating, this time twisting flick lacks the chills, thrills or even the modest entertainment value necessary for a successful film.

Sandra Bullock will walk away from Premonition still a sweetheart, still a presence who can win and hold your sympathy. It's the movie around her that suffers from its many plot holes and structural flaws.

Movie Review I Think I Love My Wife

I Think I Love My Wife (2007) 

Directed by Chris Rock 

Written by Louis C.K 

Starring Chris Rock, Kerry Washington, Gina Torres, Steve Buscemi, Orlando Jones, Wendell Pierce 

Release Date March 16th, 2007

Published March 16th, 2007

President Bill Clinton redefined infidelity in the 90's with his 'the definition of the word is' bit, but it was the great auteur Eric Rohmer who began the most thoughtful and incisive conversation about infidelity with his 1973 film Chloe In The Afternoon. That film wondered if infidelity of the mind was on par with actual infidelity and left audiences to answer that question for themselves.

Chris Rock is a big Eric Rohmer fan and has taken Rohmer's conversation about infidelity and added his own sensibilities to create the new film I Think I Love My Wife. The title is a daring, questioning, plea that I'm sure will make many married couples a little uncomfortable. This story about boring married life versus the constant excitement of what Rock has called in his stand-up routines "new pussy", is at times daring, at times touching and at times maddeningly cute.

Chris Rock is maturing as a filmmaker and this is a step forward but there is a way to go.

Richard Cooper is happily married with two kids but that doesn't mean he isn't bored out of his fucking mind. Richard and his wife Brenda (Gina Torres) have become roommates as much as they are husband and wife. They have stopped having sex and Richard is growing frustrated. It is at this crossroads that Richard gets a visit from an old friend who throws some excitement into his life.

Nikki (Kerry Washington) knew Richard before he got married, she dated a friend of his who had a nervous breakdown after she dumped him. Nikki comes to Richard for a job reference and becomes a fixture at his office, going out to lunch with him everyday so she can enlist his help in getting out of a bad relationship. Nikki can't believe Richard is married and she takes great pleasure in tweaking him about just how happy he is.

Nikki is exciting, sexy and flirtatious and Richard is very intrigued. As Nikki keeps showing up at his office Richard finds himself risking his marriage and his job for the excitement of spending time with Nikki. Will he take the chance for an exciting affair with Nikki or will he return to his comfortable but boring life as a suburban husband and father.

Written and directed by Chris Rock, I Think I Love My Wife wants to be taken seriously while still being funny. Rock nearly pulls that off. However, broad jokes involving viagra and fantasy sequences about women in their underwear on the streets of New York undercut the film's more serious purposes. Similar problems permeated Rock's last directorial effort; the political comedy Head Of State.

In Head Of State Rock played the first African American President of the United states. While much of his satire of race and politics was dead on, Rock could not resist his innate comedian's sense that the audience must laugh every ten to twenty seconds or something isn't right. As he did in Head of State and does again in I Think I Love My Wife. Rock cannot simply stand by and allow the story to be told. He forces in jokes and sight gags and an odd bit of singing that get in the way of an otherwise thoughtful and serious minded examination of marriage and infidelity.

I found an interesting correlation between this film and Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut. Both films examine betrayal, apathy and fidelity and though I Think I Love My Wife is more straightforward in terms of storytelling; Eyes Wide Shut is more true emotionally. Where Rock pulls punches Kubrick's metaphors are like body blows landing with impact, especially the ending which has just the kick needed to send audiences home reeling. Rock goes for a very similar ending in his film however, an ill-timed musical number, yes I said musical number, cuts into the truth of the moment and sells it out in favor of a bit.

Gina Torres as Rock's wife Brenda in I Think I Love My Wife delivers the film's truest dramatic performance. Her measured, practical observations of Richard's behavior, belying a naivete of his actions with Nikki, are some of the most compelling moments in the film. Torres takes a character written as something of a cold fish and infuses her with a hidden passion and fire that comes out in quiet, desperate moments that are some of the films best.

Chris Rock's stand up comedy act has always been edgy and insightful. Most people remember his controversial rants on politics and race. However, it is on the topic of relationships where his most insightful work comes from. In his Bigger and Blacker special from 2000, Rock masterfully demonstrated the benefits of marriage over being single with brutal honesty.

Rock talked openly about how marriage is boring. Why don't men want to be married? How easy it is for a man to cheat. But the overarching point was still strongly made by weighing his options. You can be married and bored or single and lonely. Rock chose marriage and boredom and now he's written a movie about this very topic.

I Think I Love My Wife attacks this same topic with similar honesty and openness and though some of his more broad gags get in the way of the film's very real drama, the humor still carries the day in this loving tribute to bored married couples.

Chris Rock remaking Eric Rohmer? It's not as far-fetched as it might seem. Both are fascinated with the same topics, morality, politics, infidelity, women. One just happens to be from the French New Wave and the other is a brilliant stage comedian. I Think I Love My Wife is much more heavy handed than Rohmer's more thoughtful take, but it's also much funnier than Rohmer's Chloe In The Afternoon.

Though there really is no need to compare these two films in terms of quality. Rohmer was a far more experienced filmmaker in 1973 than Rock is today. It's unfair to expect Rock to match Rohmer in his command of the medium. Where the two cross paths well is in insightful examinations of the subject. Both are equally fascinated with the mechanics of marriage and relationships and both have something unique and interesting to say about them.

I Think I Love My Wife adds a good deal of humor to the equation and that is mostly welcome, except when it becomes a crutch. Chris Rock needs to learn to let his storytelling breath and that there is no need to shoehorn in the jokes. The humor can come from the characters and the situation. After watching I Think I Love My Wife I can see that Rock is learning these lessons and I can't wait to see him mature further.

Movie Review: The Ultimate Gift

The Ultimate Gift (2007) 

Directed by Michael Sajbel

Written by Cheryl McKay 

Starring Abigail Breslin, Drew Fuller, Bill Cobbs, James Garner

Release Date March 9th, 2007 

Published March 10th, 2007 

Cynically trading on the Oscar nomination of young Abigail Breslin is the religious themed drama The Ultimate Gift. This film from the newly minted Fox Faith distribution company is Fox's even more cynical attempt to turn a profit on religion. In the wake of Passion of the Christ we have seen more and more of these religious dramas and with their low budgets and relative returns; they aren't likely to improve in quality anytime soon.

Jason (Drew Fuller) has drifted through life on his mom's money for many years. Naturally, with privilege paying for his high class New York apartment and expensive car, Drew values nothing above vanity. However, his life is changed forever by the death of his grandfather Red (James Garner). It's not that Jason was close with his grandfather, indeed grandpa wasn't close to anyone in his family. No, it's just that grandpa decided on his death to use his money to teach his wayward grandson a lesson.

With the help of his lawyer (Bill Cobbs) Red has set up a series of challenges for Jason. First, he forces Jason's mom to cut off his money. This costs Jason his apartment and his beloved car. Jason must prove that without his money he still has friends. This is much harder than he would have imagined. This is when Jason meets Emily (Abigail Breslin). Sleeping on a park bench, Jason is thought to be a homeless man.

Emily offers him food and soon Jason is scheming to have the girl and her mother Alexia (Ali Hillis) pretend to be his friends. Unfortunately, that still isn't enough for Jason to get his money. There are more challenges, including working on the ranch owned by Gus (Brian Dennehy) one of Red's best friends, to teach him hard work. Of course all of these valuable less are meant to make Jason a better person and wouldn't you it, the little girl and her mom have a secret that will also influence Jason's becoming a better person.

Directed by Michael O'Sajbel, The Ultimate Gift is like an unfunny version of the Richard Pryor comedy Brewster's Millions. Both films are about learning the value of a dollar and how money, having it and not having, teaches a valuable lesson. Brewster's Millions thankfully, isn't weighed down by biblical piety and dull melodrama as The Ultimate Gift is.

Director Michael O'Sajbel has been rather indignant about his film being treated as or marketed as a faith movie. He might want to look at the distributor shingle hanging on the front of the film. It's a new division of the Fox movie company called Fox Faith. A reaction what marketers had hoped was a new niche in the wake of The Passion Of the Christ.

Unfortunately, that niche has proven unreliable and movies like The Ultimate Gift, Amazing Grace and September Dawn have been made for an audience that may not even exist. Certainly, there was a vocal group of people who went to see the Passion and talked openly of how they rarely go to the movies because of their negative impression of Hollywood filmmakers.

In reality, most churchgoers are just average moviegoers who would rather watch swashbuckling pirates, spider based heroes and big green ogres rather than some self serving pseudo religious drama. Churchgoers, even the evangelicals, are as starstruck as any other audience and would rather watch Johnny Depp in a bad movie than some guy named Drew Fuller in a movie that allegedly appeals to their values.

The failure of The Ultimate Gift is simply a question of quality. The film isn't very good. The acting is subpar, the aesthetic is amateur and the underlying ideals are a cynical attempt at niche marketing. There really is nothing good about this movie and that is why audiences rejected it in droves when it was released in theaters and continue to reject it on DVD.

This will no doubt be the fate of most if not all films that follow the same path. Assuming that churchgoers are not savvy movie fans or that they are somehow entirely different from average moviegoers is a failed premise.