Movie Review: Transformers

Transformers (2007)

Directed by Michael Bay

Written by Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman

Starring Shia Le Beouf, Megan Fox, Tyrese Gibson, Josh Duhamel, Anthony Anderson 

Release Date July 3rd, 2007 

Published July 2nd, 2007

The leaps forward for CGI technology in movies have had a few obvious leaps in innovation. Terminator 2 signaled the arrival. The Matrix and Lord Of The Rings are certainly high water marks. And, of course, George Lucas' mindblowing effects work in the modern trilogy cannot be forgotten, even if the movies weren't as well remembered.

Now comes Transformers from director Michael Bay. Though Bay never met a story he could tell well, he is a master of special effects and his work with George Lucas' effects company ILM has provided a new benchmark in the evolution of CGI. The robot aliens of Transformers are an extraordinary sight, a sight so impressive you almost forget there is no real story, plot or characters bringing proper context to these amazing effects.

In some distant universe a pair of alien robot races have fought and destroyed their planet. The impetus for this destructive war is an all powerful cube that has now been lost somewhere in the universe. It has in fact landed on earth and now the evil Decepticons and the caring Autobots are arriving on earth with differing methods but similar goals. The Decepticons, lead by Megatron, will destroy the earth to retrieve the cube, the Autobots, lead by Optimus Prime, will protect humanity, even if it means destroying the cube.

On earth a teenager named Sam (Shia Le Beouf) may be the key to finding the cube. Seems his great grand father actually located the cube some years ago and after an encounter with Megatron, came to know where the cube was located. Now, under the protection of Bumblebee, a rusty yellow camaro that also happens to be an autobot warrior, Sam is about to have the experience of a lifetime, trapped in the middle of an alien robot war; and he gets the girl, Mikaela (Megan Fox).

The cast ofTransformers also makes room for Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson as military heroes who encounter the Decepticons in the Iraqi desert. Jon Voight as the heroic defense secretary. John Turturro tuns up as an X-Files-esque secret agent and Anthony Anderson in the unlikely role of a computer hacker whose technical expertise cracks important Decepticon codes.

The goofball plot of Transformers is pretty much brain or in other words, typical Michael Bay. Director Bay simply does not care a lick for plot, or characters or dialogue. His expertise lies in special effects and everything else be damned. Thus, we get scenes where allegedly smart military types pass up miles of empty desert for their last stand against the Decepticons in favor of a cityscape filled with innocent bystanders.

Never mind a proper motivation that could have been written into the story, fight scenes set in the fictional city of Mission Hills just look cooler than anything that could have been done in the desert. Just one example of Michael Bay's usual logic be damned approach to storytelling.

Transformers is a truly brainless exercise by typical standards of movie criticism. However, from a more coldly technical perspective, Transformers is one of the more impressive feats of Computer Generated Imagery ever committed to film. The CGI of Transformers is leaps and bounds ahead of CGI that we have seen previously.

As Terminator 2 was landmark moment in the development of CGI technology in the early 1990's, Transformers is a landmark of how far we have come with this technology and what may be possible in the future. Working with George Lucas's team at Industrial Light & Magic, Michael Bay has pushed this technology beyond what many thought was possible.

The CGI of Transformers fully integrates these giant alien robots with human characters in ways that simply were not possible less than a decade ago. Building on the foundation that George Lucas built in the modern Star Wars trilogy and what Peter Jackson crafted in Lord of the Rings and King Kong, Bay surpasses them both with the creation of Optimus Prime, Bumblebee and Jazz, giant robots who function as characters as well or better than their human counterparts.

From a technical standpoint, in terms of special effects and CGI, Transformers is a landmark moment in movie history. Never before have CGI characters been so well integrated with human characters. Bay's control of the action and effects of Transformers shows the potential he has as a director. If he paid the same attention and gave the same care to his story and characters as he gives his special effects, he could make a real masterpiece.

As it stands, Transformers is a truly brainless enterprise. An exercise of awesome technical mastery in service of one of the dumber stories told in this decade. See Transformers on the big screen because DVD will only minimize the technique and play up this idiotic story.

Movie Review License to Wed

License to Wed (2007)

Directed by Ken Kwapis

Written by Vince Dimeglio 

Starring Robin Williams, John Kracinski, Mandy Moore 

Release Date July 3rd, 2007 

Published July 3rd, 2007 

Robin Williams is one of the quickest, funniest wits in the business. His whirling comic dervish is a perpetual motion device of comic invention. His mind leaps from one wild reference point to the next, selling even the worst one liner with high energy histrionics that themselves often earn a laugh. If he has one major weakness, it's a taste for the maudlin and simple minded.

Williams' worst films aim for the heart instead of the funny bone with eye rolling results. His latest comedy License To Wed falls somewhere in between Williams at his best and worst. His wildman preacher, Reverend Frank, is perfectly suited to his fast paced style. However, License To Wed being a romantic comedy also opens up the opportunity for the overly sentimental and sappy, an opportunity Williams cannot resist.

When Ben (John Kracinski) met Sadie (Mandy Moore) it was love at first sight. Both of them knew right away that they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together and six months after that first meeting; Ben asked her to marry him and she said yes. Of course, it could never be that simple. Though Ben wants to fly down to Jamaica for the wedding, Sadie wants to marry in the church she grew up in and planned her dream wedding around.

To give Sadie the wedding of her dreams Ben has to survive meeting Reverend Frank (Robin Williams) who is not just the church pastor but also a pre-marriage counselor who will refuse to allow a couple to wed if they cannot survive his rigorous pre-marriage course. The couple has three weeks until their wedding day and during that time Reverend Frank will drive them completely nuts to make absolutely certain they are ready to be wed.

License To Wed, directed by Ken Kwapis (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants), plays like a one line Hollywood pitch meeting "Robin Williams as a wacky priest/wedding counselor". It's an idea more than it is a movie and it plays much like an unformed idea that never coalesced into a full length feature. Director Ken Kwapis does manage to capture a few of those typically Robin Williams moments, the kind of fast paced, improv jokes that only Williams can pull off, but most of License To Wed just lays there waiting for another Williams improv to give it life.

The Office star John Kracinski is an appealing comic presence whose deadpan expression and mischievous nature have been terrifically funny on TV turns bland in this banal pseudo-romance. Struggling to connect with the wooden Mandy Moore, Kracinski is pushed into some forced slapstick in order to drag laughs out of scenes that Robin Williams can't save with a quick improv.

Kracinski comes off bland and boring in License To Wed and co-star Moore is little help. Once, I had thought that Moore had potential. She delivered a terrifically bitchy performance in the indie comedy Saved and did a similar number in the daring disaster American Dreamz. And she was terrifically funny in a brief stint on TV's Scrubs. Since then however, she has regressed as she tries desperately for romantic comedy stardom in the dreadful Because I Said So and now License To Wed.

What little that works in License To Wed comes from Robin Williams. Allowed to run amok by what is only a semblance of a plot, Williams can't help but find a few solid one liners and a few big gags. However, he also can't help whiffing on a few stale jokes and in his inevitable soft and cuddly turn. There is no denying though that when Williams is on his game he's as funny as anyone in the business and he rescues more than a few scenes in License To Wed with his talent for improvisation.

As hit and miss a's Willams can be and often is in License To Wed, scenes without him long for his spontaneity and energy. The fact is that this movie got made on the pitch of Robin Williams as a wacky preacher which puts stars John Kracinski and Mandy Moore at a big disadvantage. Their roles are bigger than Williams' and yet as the film is set up, they are in service to him and without him they flounder.

License To Wed has a number of laugh out loud moments, all of them thanks to Robin Williams. Sadly, however, those laughs are random and often don't serve to move the story forward. Some gags, bits and jokes even pause the story to complete themselves, as if the movie itself were acknowledging its own story bankruptcy.

Looking on the bright side, as long as John Kracinski is picking such poor film roles he will have plenty of time for his TV show The Office. That bright side has nothing to do with License To Wed but as an Office fan it made me smile.

Movie Review: Evening

Evening (2007) 

Directed by Lajos Koltai

Written by Susan Minot, Michael Cunningham 

Starring Toni Collette, Claire Danes, Meryl Streep, Vanessa Redgrave, Patrick Wilson, Hugh Dancy, Mamie Gummer, Glenn Close 

Release Date June 29th, 2007

Published June 30th, 2007

Some films just look like Oscar movies. They carry a certain weight of subject matter and location that gives the film the pretense of quality. That pretense accompanies the movie Evening which features an all star cast, including Claire Danes, Vanessa Redgrave, Meryl Streep and Toni Collette, a gorgeous seaside location that films like a travelogue, and the subject of life, death and regret, the ingredients of a deep dramatic story.

With all of that quality in place all that is needed is a story to tie it together. Sadly, a good story is exactly what is missing from Evening. What is in place of a good story is a melodrama ranking somewhere between Lifetime movie and WB network teen drama.

Lying in her deathbed, Ann (Vanessa Redgrave) is flashing in and out of conscousness and flashing back to the night that changed her life forever. Fifty years earlier Ann (Claire Danes) was a bright eyed bohemian with dreams of becoming a famous singer. For now she is visiting the Newport home of her best friend Lila (Mamie Gummer) who is about to be married.

Whether Lila really wants to marry Carl (Timothy Kiefer) is in question, but she will marry him. This will happen despite the drunken protest of her brother Buddy (Hugh Dancy) who implores Ann to try and stop his sister from marrying without love. Buddy himself is holding on to a love that can never be, a confused attraction to both Ann and a handsome man from his and Lila's past named Harris (Patrick Wilson).

Harris arrives at the wedding as the guest everyone is watching. Lila and he had a brief flirtation when she was just a girl and then there are Buddy's complicated feelings. Things get even murkier when Harris falls for Ann and the two spend a torrid night together that ends in tragedy when one of the other main characters suffers a major injury.

In the modern story, Toni Collette and Natasha Richardson play Ann's daughters. As they hover at their mother's bedside they represent the dual tracks of Ann's life. Collette's Nina is a boho chick with a rocker boyfriend and an ambivalence about marriage and commitment. Richardson's Connie is a typical soccer mom with the minivan and the 2.3 kids. Both are the lives that Ann lived and regretted in her time.

Director Lajos Koltai spent years as a Cinematographer on such well photographed films as Being Julia, The Emporer's Club and Sunshine and he brings that same painterly eye to the look of Evening. How unfortunate that he didn't bring the same attention to detail to the films confused plot and confusing characters.

Evening has the air, the pretension of a prestige picture. It has an all star cast and a well appointed location. It has a grand, sweeping timeline and the hint of depth given to any movie that deals so directly with death. This depth however, is never earned by the story but expected by it. We are just supposed to assume because the pieces are in place for great drama, that great drama is unfolding before us. That is simply not the case.

What unfolds before us is the kind of movie the Lifetime network might make if they had the budget for this kind of starpower. It's a film that is not without its charm and even a few moments of honest drama, most courtesy of the wonderful Toni Collette who overcomes an underwritten character and delivers the only moments close to true drama.

The rest of the film is a confusing melange of mixed motivations, confusing character twists and even more confused timelines. Then there is poor Vanessa Redgrave whose unassailable dignity is put to the test as she is subjected to a number of humiliating fever dream fantasies. These scenes are so embarrassing that you stop feeling for the character and start feeling for poor Ms. Redgrave as she shuffles about in her nightgown.

It's interesting to note that Mamie Gummer who plays the young Lila is the daughter of Meryl Streep who plays the older Lila in cameo late in the film. Similarly, Natasha Richardson plays one of Vanessa Redgrave's daughters in the film and of course happens to be Ms. Redgrave's real life daughter. I mention these tidbits because there is so little else of interest here.

The biggest obstacle to this film working, aside from the first time director with the mixed up script, is the wooden, sullen performance of Patrick Wilson as Harris. After a near Oscar level performance as Kate Winslet's eye candy in Little Children, Wilson returns to the form that made him a hammy punchline in Phantom of the Opera.

His Harris is supposed to be the man who inspires to different women's fantasies for the rest of their lives. However, I can't imagine any woman remembering this Harris long after he's walked out of a room, let alone for their rest of their life. Stuffy, stuck up and just a tad bit creepy, Harris couldn't inspire bad poetry, forget inspiring a lifetime of fantasy and regret.

Then there is Hugh Dancy as Buddy who goes the opposite way from Patrick Wilson. Buddy is the typical movie drunk always ready to make everyone uncomfortable with a few fumbling words or a tumble in the middle of the room. His love for both Harris and Ann is played as a side effect of his drunken stupor and does nothing to make him sympathetic, rather just simply pathetic.

Meanwhile Claire Danes, Mamie Gummer, Toni Collette and Natasha Richardson deliver performances that in a better movie would radiate great warmth, humor and charm. Each of these lovely actresses aquit themselves as well as they possibly can within the messy narrative of Evening with only Collette emerging as the punky younger, or was she older? One of the many miscues of the movie, I couldn't figure out if she was the younger or older sister of Ann's two daughters. Scenes point to two different conclusions.

Nevertheless, Collette's punky, spirited, sad performance is the one consistent source of honest drama in Evening.

The payoff of Evening is a scene that puts two of our greatest actresses together for one scene. As Vanessa Redgrave's Ann lay dying, in walks Meryl Streep as her former best friend Lila. The film has been building to this scene, the director has kept Streep offscreen to this moment so we could have this scene.

As we wait and watch as Lila arrives to relieve her friend of so many of the burdens she has been dreaming of throughout her convalescence we find that nothing really gets resolved. The scene devolves into a mutual fantasy of Harris, the man who could not inspire a bird to fly if he threw it off a cliff. Then the film simply ends. Ending with the abruptness of sudden death.

I'm not giving anything away here, the point of the film is a frank discussion of dying. There was not going to be any last minute reprieve for Ann who is old and frail and ready to die. However, we really aren't ready for her to go. We long for a little resolution, a mention of what the film was really about. Certainly we did not just waste two hours of our life watching this woman remember a wet blanket like Harris?

There must have been something richer and deeper than that. Sadly there isn't and that is the disaster of Evening.

Movie Review Live Free or Die Hard

Live Free or Die Hard (2007) 

Directed by Len Wiseman

Written by Mark Bomback

Starring Bruce Willis, Justin Long, Timothy Olyphant, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Maggie Q, Kevin Smith

Release Date June 27th, 2007

Published June 26th, 2007 

It's official, the Die Hard series has jumped the shark, to appropriate a TV term. Or maybe it's a literal term, there may have been an actual shark jumped in Live Free Or Die Hard. Lord knows director Len Wiseman has every other type of mayhem imaginable crammed into this over the top Tom and Jerry meets Wile E. Coyote concoction of cartoon action hero histrionics.

And yet, how cool is Bruce Willis that no matter how brainless the action, he never fails to entertain.

If there is one character in our cultural stew who can relate to 24's Jack Bauer; it's John McClane. This New York City cop has seen dangerous situations that only Kiefer Sutherland's CTU agent could relate to. In his latest entanglement, detective McClane finds himself smack dab in the middle of a cyber terrorism attack by a group formed inside our own government.

Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant) was once the go to guy in Washington when it came to cyber terrorism. However, when the government refused to listen to all of his warnings, he went rogue and decided to demostrate the possibilities of a cyber terror attack on America's infrastructure, and if he can get paid big bucks along the way, so be it.

Employing some of the greatest hackers in the country to help him carry off his attack, Gabriel sets in motion a plan that eventually leads to detective McClane getting stuck with a young hacker named Matthew Farrell (Justin Long) who unwittingly contributed some important info to the bad guys. McClane is tasked with getting the kid to Homeland Security in Washington but along the way the bad guys try to kill him. Let's just say, John McClane does not take kindly to being targeted for death.

Bruce Willis has an endless supply of cool and charisma that he can tap with a curl of his lip and a snarling curse word and he makes a good solid living off those characteristics in Live Free Or Die Hard. The rare working parts of this otherwise execrable piece of action trash is Willis' charm and his comic chemistry with the talented comic Long.

Live Free Or Die Hard plays like Michael Bay by way of Ed Wood. Director Len Wiseman, he of the Underworld movies, you know those vampire flicks about Kate Beckinsale's butt in tight black spandex; those Underworld movies, Len Wiseman directs Live Free Or Die Hard with a callous disregard for the brains of his audience. And, by the way, there is yet another hot babe in tight spandex, martial arts master Maggie Q, for good measure.

Like the old Dave Thomas-John Candy characters on SCTV, Wiseman's only joy comes from watching stuff blow up, blow up good. Early on it's Willis shooting a fire extinguisher with the precision of a military marksman; leading to the kind of explosion only McGyver could recreate. Later the film abandons even a television level of reality as John McClane drives up an embankment in a tunnel and dives out as the car flies directly into a helicopter.

Later, John drives a semi-truck that is attacked and destroyed by rockets and bullets from a harrier jet. McClane survives, as does some portion of the driving part of the semi which drives up a crumbling portion of overpass, also destroyed by the jet. Eventually John must abandon the truck and when does, he ends up landing on top of the soon to crash jet and then out running the jet as a giant fireball.

It's all so ludicrous that indeed it does take on a camp quality that makes it all goofily entertaining.

Live Free or Die Hard is high camp. With mind numbing explosions and mind blowing mindlessness, the film surpasses some of the greats of the high action, low brain power genre. A most recent comparison, Mr. and Mrs Smith starring Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, a film that fired more bullets than your average war and featured more evil henchmen than a James Bond villain convention, is really the only film in the last decade that can match Live Free or Die Hard explosion for explosion.

Both films are equally entertaining and that is because of pure starpower. Bruce Willis is such a force of personality that no matter how ludicrous the film becomes we in the audience are still emotionally involved and even compelled because we love this guy and this character so much. Whether it's years of earned loyalty from four movies in the series or simply the force of Willis' charisma, there is no denying the awesome star wattage of Bruce Willis.

Even as the film is a sieve in the brain department, the screenplay by committee does manage a few good chuckles at the expense of other film franchises. References to Spiderman and Transformers are just a couple of the meta moments from this otherwise brain free movie. Other inside moments include numerous references to the original Diehard.

Final Destination star Mary Elizabeth Winstead appears in Live Free or Die Hard as Lucy McClane, John's now grown daughter. Her inclusion here is really only as plot addendum to be used to refer to the first film. Yes, she does become involved in the climax of the film but that really is the lesser part of her purpose here.

And the final joke of Live Free or Die Hard is the use of director Kevin Smith in the role of Warlock, a hacker who lives in his mom's basement. Smith is legendary online for his love of all things movies, including the Die Hard series. His inclusion is one of many nods to and knocks on the internet community that has been a Live Free or Die Hard constituency since the film was rumored years ago with Bruce starring alongside Britney Spears as Lucy McClane. Sadly, screenwriters couldn't find a meta way to work a Britney joke into the script.

Live Free or Die Hard would be unforgivably dimwitted if it were not for Bruce Willis whose star persona is so powerful you can almost forgive all of the deplorable excess of his latest film. The Diehard franchise has likely run its course and there is certainly no need nor want for more of the tortured life of John McClane. So, if Live Free or Die Hard is in fact the final installment, let us remember John McClane as the most charismatic of our action heroes, an everyman superhero in street clothes who goes above and beyond the call of duty and the bounds of logic for our entertainment.

Bless you John McClane, and here's to what we hope will be a long and fruitful retirement.

Movie Review: A Mighty Heart

A Mighty Heart (2007)

Directed by Michael Winterbottom 

Written by John Orloff

Starring Angelina Jolie, Dan Futterman, Irfan Khan

Release Date June 22nd, 2007

Published June 21st, 2007 

The death of journalist Daniel Pearl is one of the seminal moments in the history of middle east terrorism; post 9/11. In the post 9/11 world few deaths were as shocking, brutal and senseless as that of the Wall Street Journal's middle east bureau chief. Pearl was chasing a story when he was killed and whether he was set up as a suspected CIA spy or randomly taken because he was an American and Jewish; only deepens the intrigue and the tragedy of his death.

The movie A Mighty Heart tells the story behind the death of Daniel Pearl from the perspective of his wife Mariane and the police officers who searched high and low trying to save his life. It's a gut-wrenching story and one that is instructive of the bravery it takes to live in and report in the age of terror.

In January of 2002 Daniel Pearl (Dan Futterman) left his temporary home in Karachi Pakistan for a meeting he hoped would give him an important insight into the story of Richard Reed, aka the shoe bomber. Daniel has been warned that the man he is meeting with is quite dangerous and that the meeting should take place in public, something Daniel assures colleagues will be the case.

Unfortunately, Daniel Pearl would not return home that night. While friends gathered at his home with his pregnant wife Mariane (Angelina Jolie), Daniel was taken hostage and disappeared into the black hole of Karachi's terrorist underground. It will be days before photos emerge of Daniel being held by terrorists we will later learn are affiliated with Al Qaeda.

The film A Mighty Heart from director Michael Winterbottom, unfolds with a documentary style, handheld camera, look that makes every scene burn with immediacy. We are thrust immediately from Daniel Pearl's disappearance into the frantic search lead by Mariane and her friend and fellow journalist Nasirin (Sairah Khan) who jump right into the investigation of who Daniel met with that day and when.

Their research is very useful to the Pakistani police lead by the Captain (Irfan Khan) who allows Daniel's wife and friends and fellow journalists to play an active role in the investigation. The American government is quick to pitch in as well as US envoy Randall Bennett (Will Patton) pledges as much US government support possible.

As A Mighty Heart unfolds Michael Winterbottom's approach gains the momentum of a large rock rolling down a hill. It is at once a fast moving ride and a droning, numbing procession toward a known conclusion. The fact that we know Daniel Pearl is going to die does not take away from the excitement of the chase, which is rather reminiscent of a very good episode of Law & Order.

The problem is that the pace of the investigation and the fast paced tone of the storytelling causes the films heart to recede into the background. Though Mariane Pearl is at the center of most of the action, her husband Daniel seems to disappear inside this narrative and never emerges. Then there are times when even Mariane fades into the background as the search for the terrorists moves front and center.

While I wish we could know Daniel Pearl better we do get a good sense of his heart from the portrayal of his wife Mariane by Angelina Jolie. This is a wrenching, heart breaking performance. One of, if not the, best performance of Ms. Jolie's career. Her Mariane Pearl is fierce and defensive but also quite vulnerable and romantic. Her spirited defense of her husband's pursuit of a story, even in risking his own life to get it, is one of the films most powerful moments.

Another compelling performance is that of Indian actor Irfan Khan in his American movie debut. Khan plays the captain, the lead Pakistani investigator in the search for Daniel Pearl. The performance is strong and determined however, as the investigation takes center stage in the films second act, the film becomes more remote and distant. The chase scenes and interrogations are tense and well shot in Winterbottom's documentary style but what is lost are the characters whose stories are being told, Daniel and Mariane Pearl.

A Mighty Heart is a consistently compelling but remote drama that suffers a documentary style approach that places to much distance between us in the audience and the tragedy that unfolds before us. Director Michael Winterbottom is a pre-eminent auteur who crafts a number of very effective scenes in A Mighty Heart. Unfortunately his cold hard facts approach to telling this story keeps the drama and emotion at a distance.

A Mighty Heart leaves you wanting some sort of catharsis, some kind of emotional resolution. Instead we are left with is merely a cold appreciation of the films technique and an admiration for the real life bravery of Mariane Pearl. That might be satisfying enough for some but will leave most wanting more

Movie Review: 1408

1408 (2007) 

Directed by Mikael Hafstrom

Written by Matt Greenberg, Scott Alexander, Larry Karaszewski 

Starring John Cusack, Samuel L. Jackson, Tony Shalhoub

Release Date June 15th, 2007 

Published June 14th, 2007 

Adaptations of horror master Stephen King's many novels and short stories can't be called hit and miss because there are far more misses than hits. Hollywood has failed on numerous occasions to capture the nuances and intricacies of King's psychological approach to horror. Whether it's timidity, Hollywood producers unwilling to go the extremes of King's writing or if it were simply that King's work is unadaptable to the film medium, we really have yet to see one filmmaker find the right take on King's unbelievably popular work.

The latest attempt to bring King's work to the screen is arguably the most successful yet. 1408 is a short story about a disillusioned writer searching for ghosts in corporeal form and in his own psyche.

Mike Enslin (John Cusack) is a hack who writes fake creepy stuff about tourist trap hotels that purport to have ghosts. Mike is nearly burnt out on searching for the supernatural and never finding it when he stumbles across the legend of room 1408 at the Dolphin Hotel in New York City. It's a room where numerous murders and suicides are alleged to have taken place.

Unlike most of the tourist trap fleapits that claim a paranormal connection,  Mike discovers that the management at the Dolphin Hotel, lead by Mr. Olin (Samuel L. Jackson) aren't interested in promoting their haunted history. Olin does all he can to try and discourage Steve from staying in 1408. Explaining that murders and suicides weren't the only occurrances of death in 1408, Olin goes as far as to give Steve the entire gory history of 1408 if he will just not stay there.

Unfortunately, Steve comes to believe this is merely part of the spiel to sell the creepiness of the room. He insists on getting the keys and despite Olin's ominous warnings, he's prepared to spend the night in 1408 come hell or high water. Little did he know hell and high water are literal features of this room.

Mikael Hafstrom, whose last film was the overwrought thriller Derailed, directs 1408 with an eye for dream like detail. Watch the way the room is filmed, how things are always slightly off. Doorways, hallways, paintings all seem to shift uncontrollably and yet ever so subtely that you only notice if you  begin to really look for it.

That said, there is fair debate as to whether what happens in 1408 is meant as a sort of fever dream of depressed writer on the edge of sanity or if this is in fact the evil of the room working its mojo. It's that compelling mix that keeps you guessing throughout this endlessly clever, scary, entertaining film.

John Cusack's complicated performance in 1408 is one of the most fascinating of his underappreciated career. Considering that much of the film takes place with Cusack alone in a hotel room, acting by himself, you must be impressed with his technique and endless charisma. Using the device of a tape recorder to allow Cusack's writer to talk to us aloud, director Mikael Hafstrom trains his camera tightly on Cusack's upper body and head giving us that tight claustrophobic feel.

We are trapped with Cusack in this room and Hafstrom uses his camera to shrink the room around us. It's a remarkable piece of direction that will chill the spine and push you to the edge of your seat. Hafstrom is the rare director who gets the spirit of King's very internalized form of horror. Many other King adaptations have picked up on the more twisted or gory aspects, 1408 is the first to tap the mind of King and follow his disturbing psychic instructions.

A taut psychological horror flick, 1408 far surpasses the product that passes for horror in this day and age. 1408 proves that you don't need idiot teenage characters in tight clothes (or no clothes at all), sadistic directors, or pseudo porn to make a horror film. This is a movie that thrives and scares with smarts and technique.

1408 is also the very rare example of a Stephen King adaptation that actually looks and feels like a King work. Terrifyingly cerebral, 1408 is Stephen King brought to the big screen for the first time in his finest form.

Movie Review Nancy Drew

Nancy Drew (2007) 

Directed by Andrew Fleming 

Written by Tiffany Paulsen 

Starring Emma Roberts, Josh Fitter, Max Thieriot, Rachel Leigh Cook, Laura Herring, Bruce Willis

Release Date June 15th, 2007 

Published June 16th, 2007 

In 1930 a prolific author by the name of Carolyn Keene launched a new character, a young female detective named Nancy Drew. What's interesting about that is that Carolyn Keene was just as fictional as her now famous creation. The mysterious Ms. Keene was the moniker created by the Stratemeyer syndicate, a low budget bookseller responsible for dozens of young adult titles of the 1930's all under the same fictional authors name.

Regardless of her creation by committee origins, the character of Nancy Drew resonated with young girls and has maintained a unique place in popular culture for more than 75 years. Now as she gets her big budget Hollywood treatment Nancy suffers from a lack of any particular vision, let alone one by committee.

Emma Roberts takes on the legend of the teenage trouble seeking sleuth Nancy Drew. Dressed in fifties finest, plaid dress, knee socks and penny loafers, Nancy is the picture of nerdy sweetness. Underneath that nerdy exterior is an endless curiosity that has led her on numerous adventures. The latest had her smack dab in the middle of a hostage situation that she manages to diffuse with her charm and good humor.

Though her latest adventure is a success, her dad Carter (Tate Donovan) is none too happy about the dangerous situation. Thus why he has imposed a no sleuthing rule for their upcoming, temporary move to California. This puts Nancy in a tough spot, she has a new mystery waiting for her at their new California mansion, a home once owned by a movie star who may have been murdered.

Can Nancy sleuth behind dad's back and figure out who killed the dead starlet, played in flashback by Laura Elena Herring, or will she find herself in even more trouble. Meanwhile Nancy must also adjust to a new school and new friends including a lecherous 13 year old named Corky (Josh Flitter) whose crush on Nancy leads him to becoming her sidekick. Then there is Nancy's hometown crush Ned (Max Thierot) who makes an appearance in California just in time to help solve the case.

Nancy Drew is a quaint throwback with modern ambitions. The film has the feel of a live action Disney flick from the sixties, a lighthearted, kid safe sort of goofiness that pervades those films is featured all throughout Nancy Drew with just a touch of Scooby Doo thrown in for good measure. The problems come when director Andrew Fleming, who co-wrote the script with Tiffany Paulsen, tries to hip up the story for modern audiences.

Nancy Drew kind of works when they are working the old school charms of the sleuthing teen. When the movie tries to be modern however, we get painful examples of how out of touch director Fleming is. Examples like the performance of Daniella Monet. Saddled with the role of Nancy's bully, Monet is a painful to watch caricature of a modern teenage girl.

Seemingly cobbled together from episodes of MTV's prurient My Super Sweet 16, Monet's Inga puts the brakes on the film's charm with unnecessary nastiness and unfunny attempts at what I assume is a parody of the kind of teen who would adopt Paris Hilton as a role model. Nothing against Ms. Monet who is a lovely young actress, I'm sure no one could pull off a role this ill-conceived.

When the film isn't failing with its modernisms it gets simply sloppy. A scene where Nancy takes her visiting boyfriend to a Chinese restaurant is an insulting embarrassment to Asian Americans and the midwesterner for whom the boyfriend is a stand in.

Other scenes where Nancy attempts to show her resourcefulness are bizarrely illogical. Two scenes where characters are choking to death feature Nancy first attempting mouth to mouth on the victim and then performing an emergency tracheotomy. Has she never learned the heimlich maneuver?

Despite the bizarre and the illogical elements of Nancy Drew, star Emma Roberts flies above the problem, nearly overcoming them, with easy charm and boundless energy. The offspring of Eric Roberts and niece of Julia, Emma has inherited her aunt's gift of a winning smile and the ability to win over an audience on spunk alone.

If only the rest of the film could match her delightfulness. Unfortunately, the film surrounding her is simply a mess. Predictable to an irritating point, Nancy Drew unfolds with a quick pace but unravels even quicker as the central mystery is solved about half way through the film's 90 minute runtime. Poor Emma Roberts then must pretend that Nancy doesn't know what we in the audience have long figured out.

Nancy Drew is not a great movie but for the target audience it's inoffensive and cheery with a good heart. Emma Roberts isn't exactly a revelation but there are many indications that she will have a very bright future. With her bright smile and seemingly boundless energy you can see the leading lady qualities that won her this role and why her presence was so reassuring to producers that they were planning sequels well in advance of this film's release.

Those sequels are unlikely after the film failed to open well, but that should not prevent young Ms Roberts from becoming a very big star in the future.

Movie Review Surf's Up

Surf's Up (2007) 

Directed by Ash Brannon, Chris Buck

Written by Ash Brannon, Chris Buck, Don Rhymer, Chris Jenkins

Starring Shia Le Beouf, Jeff Bridges, Zooey Deschanel, Jon Heder, Brian Posehn

Release Date June 15th, 2007 

Published June 15th, 2007

In its brief history Sony Pictures Animation has turned out a pleasant slate of kids pics that, while they aren't the rival of Pixar, are wonderfully imaginative and lovingly crafted. Monster House and Open Season were two of 2006's most pleasant surprises and showed an aesthetic that is becoming a Sony Animation staple. It's a watercolor, computer animation combination that occasionally looks quite breathtaking.

The latest Sony Pictures Animation project, the Penguin comedy Surf's Up, is not as accomplished as Monster House or as fun as Open Season, but it does show the potential of the talented group at Sony Animation and the likelihood that, with a little more care and attention, there is a chance for a real masterpiece from this rising animation company.

Ever since he was a small penguin Cody (Shia Le Beouf) has wanted to surf. When he was very young Cody met the legendary surfer Big Z who gave him a souvenir medallion that he has worn for the rest of his life. Shaping a piece of ice into a board, Cody surfs the relatively small Antarctic swells in hopes of one day traveling to Penghu Island for the Big Z memorial tournament.

Cody gets his chance when a talent scout arrives, riding on whale-back. Cody impresses him with his persistence, if not his surfing and soon Cody is on his way to the big show. There he meets Roger the chicken (Jon Heder) who quickly becomes his new best friend. He also meets Lena (Zooey Deschanel) who catches his romantic fancy.

Then there is Geek (Jeff Bridges) , a mysterious hermit who takes Cody in after he has an accident while surfing. The two bond and soon Geek is Cody's mentor; preparing him for the tournament and a showdown with the jerky defending champion Tank (Diedrich Bader).

Surf's Up plays out in a cartoon documentary style that works to set it apart from other similar animated films. The format allows humorous digressions like a look back at Big Z's classic surfing movies, reminiscent of the legendary Endless Summer documentaries. Another strength of the documentary structure is the straight to the camera interview moments, especially those featuring the cute young penguins with their wonderfully humorous greek chorus commentaries.

Comedian Brian Posehn also shines in these brief interview segments with pitch perfect sibling rivalry banter with Shia Le Beouf.

The terrifically talented voice cast of Surf's Up is a real joy to behold. Shia Le Beouf brings to life Cody's childlike wonderment with an edge of youthful arrogance. Jeff Bridges meanwhile will no doubt remind many adult viewers of his most iconic character, the dude from The Big Lebowski, sans the white russians and the bathrobe.

Zooey Deschanel's distinctive voice has an edgy sarcastic quality that she can turn sympathetic but only when absolutely necessary. Jon Heder delivers a slightly controversial turn as Roger the chicken. The character is supposed to be sweetly naive but he comes off more like a classic stoner character, not exactly kid friendly.

The animation of Surf's Up is pretty terrific. Sony Pictures Animation has followed the Pixar model and is developing a signature style. Combining computer animated aesthetics with a sort of water color look, Sony's animators bring an element of classic hand drawn animation to their CG work. The closing scene of Surf's Up, set inside the curl of a wave, is a breathtaking sight, one of the finest animated moments of any cartoon you've ever seen.

Surf's Up could stand to be a little funnier, with a quicker pace but overall it's pleasant, non-threatening and energetic enough that the kids will be engaged and mom and dad won't be bored. Most importantly, Surf's Up is a signpost of great things to come from the rising Sony Animation brand. A strong, if not as impressive, follow up to the terrific Monster House and the entertaining Open Season, Surf's Up is worth the price of a matinee admission.

Movie Review Hostel 2

Hostel 2 (2007) 

Directed by Eli Roth 

Written by Eli Roth

Starring Lauren German, Roger Bart, Heather Matarazzo, Bijou Phillips, Richard Burgi, Jay Hernandez

Release Date June 8th, 2007 

Published June 8th 2007

In the last three weeks I have seen the movie Waitress 3 times. In that time, I have been reading a terrific book about the movie The Big Lebowski that is soon to hit store shelves. I mention these activities on my part as examples of good things you could be doing rather than watching Hostel Part 2 a sad perverts fantasy of a horror film.

From the twisted mysoginist mind of Eli Roth comes another woman hating fantasy about torture and death. Was Mr. Roth simply was not hugged enough by his mother as a child? Did some woman break his heart in some unimaginably cruel way? Whatever the reasons for his misogyny, these are issues that would be better dealt with in therapy and not on the movie screen.

Poor misguided Lauren German is the alleged star of Hostel Part 2. I would call her a victim of Hostel 2 but I should save my criticisms for later in this review. German plays Beth, a rich American tourist traveling Europe with her friends, sexpot Whitney (Bijou Phillips) and introvert Lorna (Heather Mattarazzo, a long way from The Princess Diaries).

Together the three seek drinks and companionship and when the opportunity for some pretty scenery and cute guys on the cheap comes their way they can't resist. Enticed by their new friend Axelle (Vera Jordanova), they travel to an exclusive little European getaway that happens to be the site where tourists are captured and sold over the internet to rich guys for the purpose of torture and death.

What a bummer.

I am being flippant because writer Director Roth makes clear with his dull dialogue and sloppy takes that he doesn't care about these characters, he is merely setting them up for slaughter. Surprisingly, it takes a little while before the gore sets in but once it does, Roth's ugly misogynist side comes out in every way you would imagine.

I can't say I was surprised by any of the awful things that Eli Roth puts his actresses through in Hostel Part 2. The first film made quite clear his feelings about women, why would having females lead the cast of Part 2 change anything. If anything, as evidenced by Heather Mattarazzo's brutal death scene, hanging upside down nude and having her throat cut as a naked woman basks in the viscera, his hatred of women has only deepened since the last film.

I told a friend after the first Hostel, and left it out of the initial review, that I honestly felt that Eli Roth makes movies in order to keep himself from piling the bodies of real women in his basement. Again, I'm being flippant, I don't wish to be. I honestly believe Eli Roth is a very troubled soul. What other impressions are we to take away from Hostel Part 2. The awful things he does to his female characters, the callous treatment of life and death, the casual context free nudity. These seem to be the actions of a sociopath rather than a filmmaker.

Aside from the Hostel films, look at his work on Quentin Tarentino and Robert Rodriguez's Grindhouse. Roth contributed a fake trailer to Grindhouse called Thanksgiving which features a scene in which a half naked female teen is jumping on a trampoline and is impaled through her vagina with a giant knife. Some might call that humorous since it is admittedly such a ludicrous death scene. But to have even conceived such a scene is a sign of a desperately twisted and perverted soul.

Roth does, I must admit, provide a few rather big laughs. Oh, not in his abysmal film. Rather, in the film's promotional tour during which he has claimed some sort of political perspective. Interestingly, I chastised Roth in my review of the original for skirting the edge of a political perspective before retreating to more nudity and gore.

Now, as he has further strayed from any point beyond his gore and shock, he claims that he has a humorous political point about how the rest of the world see Americans. Roth now claims that Hostel Part 2 is a metaphor for the attitude Europe has taken toward Americans in the wake of the war in Iraq. I would buy that argument if the point were made in a more satisfying way in the film itself, but to have Mr. Roth merely tell us this was his point, I'm not buying it. I watched the movie, I didn't find any point, political, metaphoric or otherwise.

Hostel Part 2 exists solely as Mr. Roth's masturbatory fantasy of torture. He has a twisted grudge against women and chooses to display that on film. I wish he would simply seek therapy, and save the rest of us from being subjected to the dark corners of his perversion.

Like the recent 28 Weeks Later, another mindless example of bloodlust for profit, Hostel Part 2 deadens the soul and steals a little of your humanity as you watch it. The excesses of the horror genre are reaching a critical mass and with filmmakers like Eli Roth being feted as innovators by true artists like Quentin Tarentino and being indulged for profit by movie studios like Lionsgate, there seems to be no end to this.

The MPAA is supposed to be the arbiter of such things but bestowing a mere R-rating on something so clearly in need of the NC-17 rebuke, they have tacitly endorsed the increasingly shallow depths of character left in this genre. Hostel Part 2 is sadly not the last but merely the latest in this increasingly degrading form of filmmaking so perfectly dubbed 'horror porn'.

Movie Review Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End

Pirates of the Caribbean At World's End (2007) 

Directed by Gore Verbinski 

Written by Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio 

Starring Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush, Naomie Harris, Chow Yun Fat, Bill Nighy

Release Date May 25th, 2007 

Published May 24th, 2007 

The first Pirates of the Caribbean looked at first blush like some Disney, corporate synergy deal. After all, we are talking about a real life theme park ride made into a movie. Thankfully, however, thanks to the brilliant, Oscar nominated performance of Johnny Depp and the lighthearted direction of Gore Verbinski, Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl was a breath of fresh air in a sea of stale blockbusters.

The second Pirates movie, Dead Man's Chest, sadly suffered from sequelitis. Bloated to over 2 and a half hours, the film spun it\'s wheels far too often before its twist ending arrived to turn things around.

Now comes Pirates 3, At World's End which gives the series the kind of coda it deserves. Yes, it is nearly as bloated as the second film, but it is also has equal to, or even more thrills than the original and even more plot twists.

When last we saw Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) he was staring down the gullet of the Kraken, looking death in the eye and cackling like a mad man. Soon after his death his 'friends' Elizabeth (Keira Knightley), Will (Orlando Bloom) and the remaining crew of the Black Pearl realize they need Jack Sparrow back if they are going to fight the new alliance of Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) and the East India Trading Co. headed up by Lord Beckett.

With the aid of the sorceress Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), who raises Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) from the dead for extra help, they must sail to the world's end, to Davy Jones' locker to retrieve Jack. Once they have him they must convene the nine pirate lords and decide whether to run or to fight as one for the pirate way.

There are a dozen other minor subplots in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World\ 's End, not counting the number of twists and turns and shifting character allegiances that boggle the mind. If you have recently seen the second Pirates sequel, Dead Man\'s Chest, you might want to bring some cliff\'s notes on that film so you can follow some of the twists of At World\'s End.

On one hand, the script by Terry Rossio and  Ted Elliott, the writers of all three Pirates movies, has a great deal of depth and complexity. On the other hand the long bits of expository dialogue that attempt to explain the shifting sands of this plot can tend to bog down the movie, as they did to almost deathly effect in Dead Man's Chest.

Thankfully, Director Gore Verbinski rescues At World\'s End from ponderousness by delivering a quicker, funnier film with a strong visual sense and better, more spectacular special effects than anything in either of the first two films.

The centerpiece of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is a spectacular final battle scene set inside a swirling watery vortex. This scene features not merely a massive battle but also the tying of a few major plot strands, a couple of character twists and more than one major... well I\'ll leave you to see it for yourself. All spectacular stuff.

Even with the improved effects, more sure handed direction and all of those plot complications, Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow is once again the major draw of Pirates of the Caribbean. If you, like me, felt his Captain Jack was a little hemmed in by the plot in Dead Man's Chest, there is no such worry in At World's End. Captain Jack is now even crazier and more paranoid, even schizophrenic at times and it all works to grand comic effect.

Wait till you see Captain Jack's return to the screen in ATW. What a hoot. Trapped in purgatory aboard the Black Pearl in some desert oasis, Captain Jack goes all multiple personality and starts imagining hundreds of himself. Imagine a ship's crew worthy of Jack Sparrow's, full on Being John Malkovich, Charlie Kaufman style bizarre. Absolutely wonderful moment.

And I haven\'t even mentioned the crabs.

Not all is well in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I am sad to report, for you Chow Yun Fat fans, the great master of Asian rock'em sock'em cinema is underutilized in what really amounts to a cameo appearance, not what were promised from trailers and commercials which seemed to give him equal billing with the other supporting characters.

The only really great moments for Chow come in his introductory scene in a steam filled underground lair in Singapore. Facing off with Elizabeth and Captain Barbossa, with Will Turner trapped in a Han Solo moment, water tortured in a barrel, this is Pirates Return of the Jedi moment and Chow Yun Fat makes for an exceptional Jabba the Hut.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End is a terrific coda for a series that began life as an ugly exercise in corporate synergy and morphed into a truly rollicking adventure series worthy of our exultation's, our huzzahs. Yo ho ho, indeed, this final Pirates film, until someone can convince Disney to spend the 200+ million necessary for another sequel, is a wonderful adventure, a high spirited comedy and most importantly, a grand stage for the great Johnny Depp.

As his Captain Jack slips into icon status, here\ 's hoping Mr. Depp is once again considered by the good people at Oscar. His At World\'s End performance is the most entertaining thing you\'ve seen on screen thus far in 2007 and likely will see all year.

Movie Review: Bug

Bug (2007) 

Directed by William Friedkin

Written by Tracy Letts

Starring Ashley Judd, Michael Shannon, Harry Connick Jr. 

Release Date May 25th, 2007 

Published August 10th, 2023 

Legendary director William Friedkin died on Monday, August 7th, 2023. On the next episode of the Everyone is a Critic Movie Review Podcast, we will be talking about the remarkable career of William Friedkin including his well known classics, The Exorcist, The French Connection, Sorcerer, and Cruising, as well as his underrated gems, The Hunted and the movie I am writing about today, Bug, starring Ashley Judd and Michael Shannon. Bug is a brilliantly paranoid thriller that takes advantage of Ashley Judd's innate sympathetic qualities and Michael Shannon's talent for skin-crawling creepiness that you can't look away from. 

At one time, in the late 1990's Ashley Judd seemed on the verge of becoming one of the top stars in the industry. After the twin successes of Kiss The Girls and Double Jeopardy, Judd was the in demand female star of the moment. Sadly, those pot-boiler mysteries that made her a star also lead to her type casting as the heroine of ever more ludicrous mystery thrillers which reached their nadir with the unwatchable, alleged thriller Twisted in 2003. Of course, what really happened to Ashley Judd's career was less about type casting and more about Harvey Weinstein's blacklist of actresses who refused to sleep with him. 

Nevertheless, after taking nearly two years away from the movies, Judd returned in a remarkably different role in the small scale, buzzy thriller Bug. Helmed by maverick director William Friedkin, Bug offered Ashley Judd a career remaking performance as a drug addicted woman sucked into the insanity of the first man to offer her positive attention in years. This is a brave and bold, full bodied performance that should have brought Judd back to big time stardom. She did keep working after Bug, but not nearly in the kind of challenging roles that a performance like this one should have earned for her. 

In Bug, Ashley Judd stars as Agnes White a waitress at what is likely the only honky-tonk lesbian bar in all of Oklahoma, though Agnes is not a lesbian herself. She has in fact survived a horribly abusive marriage to Jerry (Harry Connick Jr) and the loss of their son who was kidnapped. Jerry is recently out of jail which may explain a series of hang up phone calls to Agnes's room at a flea pit motel, appropriately named the Rustic Motel. Into Agnes's lonely desperation comes an odd, somewhat creepy, but gentle stranger named Peter Evans (Michael Shannon). Peter is a gulf war vet who attached himself to Agnes's friend R.C (Lynn Collins) and was invited to Agnes' hotel room for a night of drinking and drugs, though he does not partake.

The encounter leads to Peter spending the night, he sleeps on the floor, Agnes on the bed. Soon the two are getting close and things do eventually get physical but soon afterward bad things start happening. A seemingly inconsequential bug bite begins a paranoid delusional breakdown that quickly leads the schizophrenic Peter and the lonely desperate Agnes to a heart stopping denouement. Friedkin's talent for nasty visuals, honed on The Exorcist, is on full display in Bug. As Shannon and Judd begin to feed each other's madness, Friedkin fearlessly plumbs the depths of that madness with skin crawling, stomach turning visual touches that make Bug a visceral fright. 

Movie Review Shrek the 3rd

Shrek the 3rd (2007) 

Directed by Chris Miller

Written by Jeffrey Price, Peter S. Seaman, Aron Warner

Starring Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Antonio Banderas, Justin Timberlake, Eric Idle

Release Date May 18th, 2007

Published May 17th, 2007 

Shrek may have began its film life as a veiled slap at Disney’s fairy tale past, courtesy of Dreamworks honcho Jeffrey Katzenberg, but the film's success and the subsequent success of its sequel have shown that the big green ogre has a life and identity of its own. Sure, the shots at Disney\ 's classic fairy tales remain as Shrek offers its third installment, but the success of Shrek the 3rd comes entirely from these wonderfully familiar and lovable characters.

Shrek the 3rd finds our heroic green friend in line for the throne of Far Far Away. The king (John Cleese), turned into a frog in Shrek 2, is near death and proclaims Shrek as the next king. That is, unless Shrek can find another more worthy heir. The only thing Shrek fears more than becoming king is becoming a father. Unfortunately, he has no control over that one, Fiona (Cameron Diaz) is pregnant.

Facing fatherhood and royalty, Shrek takes up the task of locating the next in line for the throne, if he is going to be a dad, at least he can do it from his slime covered hovel in the swamp. For that to happen he has to find Fiona\'s cousin Arthur (Justin Timberlake), Artie to the kids who pick on him. Artie is the resident punching bag at his private school when Shrek shows up to tell him he could be king.

Meanwhile, with Shrek away from the kingdom, the evil Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) has raised an army of fairy tale villains to assault the kingdom and proclaim him the new king and set a trap for Shrek, Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas).

The first Shrek without the guiding hand of writer-director Andrew Adamson, moved on to the Chronicles of Narnia series, Shrek the 3rd suffers from typical sequel atrophy. This is not necessarily the fault of new directors Chris Miller and Raman Hui, rather it\'s more likely the problem of some 7 different writers who took a swipe at this screenplay.

The problems with Shrek The 3rd aren\'t deathly. The first 20 minutes or so are an awkward hodgepodge of humor that is a little adult for child audiences. It\'s not so inappropriate that parents should be wary, but it could lead to some awkward questions. After that however, the film settles in and allows these familiar characters and what we love about them to lead the way and deliver the laughs.

Credit Directors Miller and Hui and their platoon of writers for dialing back on the product placement jokes that made Shrek 2 look like a non-stop billboard. Shrek the 3rd dispenses with the product placement jokes, with storefronts like \"Versarchery\", in the first few minutes. Shrek the 3rd is still heavy on pop culture but is far less precious about it than Shrek 2.

Shrek The 3rd also has a better brain than Shrek 2. The relationship between Shrek and Artie has more depth than you expect and the characters are allowed to explore their issues in ways that deepen the characters and their bond without bogging down the plot. The pace clips along quick enough to put audiences back on the streets in under 90 minutes.

Shrek 2 delivered louder and more consistent laughs than Shrek the 3rd.  The second sequel could use an infusion of bigger laughs and more laughs that rise from the plot as opposed to the stand up comedy one liners that provide many of the giggles in Shrek the 3rd.

Neither Shrek sequel has risen to the magical level of the first film which remains fresh and funny in a brilliantly subversive fashion. Each of the sequels has been a step down in quality, a function of simple sequel fatigue. Thankfully, the first film set such a high standard that a step down in quality here and there still places the Shrek sequels above most other animated films.

Shrek the 3rd is not as great as the original or as funny as the second film but your kids will still love it and you definitely will not be bored by Shrek the 3rd.

Movie Review The Ex

The Ex (2007) 

Directed by Jesse Peretz

Written by Michael Handelman 

Starring Zach Braff, Jason Bateman, Amanda Peet, Mia Farrow, Charles Grodin, Donal Logue, Amy Adams, Paul Rudd 

Release Date May 11th, 2007 

Published May 11th, 2007

The tortured history of the movie The Ex is almost too much to explain in this space. The film began life as a workplace comedy about four guys trying to get ahead in business. That film was called Fast Track. Somewhere along the line that film disappeared and in its ashes rose The Ex, a romantic comedy with just a touch of workplace stuff from the original script.

Gone from the movie, aside from cameos, were stars Paul Rudd and Josh Charles. In are supporting performances from Charles Grodin, acting for the first time in over a decade and former Oscar nominee Amy Adams in an absurdly small and underwritten cameo. The film was purchased by the Weinstein company and released as Fast Track back in January.

For whatever reason the film was pulled from that platform release and pushed into theaters with little fanfare five months later.

Tom (Zach Braff) is about to become a father for the first time. Unfortunately, he just lost his job. With his wife Sofia (Amanda Peet) having already given up her law practice to take care of the baby, Tom is forced to accept something he never wanted to accept. Tom must move his family back to his wife\'s hometown in Ohio where he will take a job working for her father (Charles Grodin).

The job, at a new agey marketing agency, has Tom working alongside his wife\'s ex-boyfriend Chip Sanders (Jason Bateman), a parapelegic who really has it out for Tom, likely because he still carries a torch for Sofia. Chip makes Tom\ 's work life difficult, sabotaging his presentations, stealing his ideas; and he gets away with it because of everyone\'s sympathy for his handicap. Chip hopes his devious plan will drive a wedge between Tom and Sofia.

Directed by Jesse Peretz, The Ex is an occasionally funny mess. Stars Zach Braff and Jason Bateman have a natural chemistry that makes for a few really big laughs. Those laughs however, are random and not necessarily organic to this plot. The film falls back on physical humor often to cover lapses in the plot. Thankfully, both Braff and Bateman are game physical comics, they manage to sell the silly slapstick regardless of the plot constructs.

The Ex wants to be a black comedy about an evil parapalegic. It also wants elements of lighthearted romantic comedy, and there are still elements of the workplace comedy that the film used to be. It\'s a complicated mix that is likely why the film, though often laugh out loud funny, is so disjointed and confoundingly edited.

Jason Bateman would have made a terrific villain for a Farrelly Brothers comedy about a Machiavellian paraplegic. That is sort of the character he plays in The Ex, or it would be if the film had a more consistent tone. As it is, Bateman does what he can with a one note villain role that just happens to be a guy in a wheelchair.

Zach Braff is one of the most likable comic actors working today. Those of you missing his work on TV 's Scrubs are missing the biggest laughs on any sitcom on television. In The Ex, Braff uses that likability to sell a difficult and confused plot and helps to smooth over many of the bumps created by the films tortured rewrites and reshoots.

The behind the scenes story on The Ex may likely make for a funnier dark comedy than anything that is left on the screen in The Ex. Still, this is not a terrible film. A terrific cast delivers a few pretty solid laughs and works hard to help you overlook the many odd shifts in tone and focus. Zach Braff has bigger, better and funnier movies ahead of him, while Jason Bateman is assured a future as the go to supporting actor in a comedy. Together in The Ex they turn a potential disaster into a minor, forgettable trifle.

Movie Review: Vacancy

Vacancy (2007) 

Directed by Nimrod Atol

Written by Mark L. Smith

Starring Luke Wilson, Kate Beckinsale, Frank Whaley, Ethan Embry

Release Date April 20th, 2007

Published April 19th, 2007 

Who doesn't love a good chase movie? Whether it's a car chase or foot chase, there is a natural visceral reaction to watching a chase. It's automatically involving and if really dangerous, invigorating. Film fans reminisce often about the great car chase in The French Connection and, while many would be loath to admit it, the foot chase of Keanu Reeves chasing Patrick Swayze in Point Break is one hell of a stunt sequence.

The new thriller Vacancy starring Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale is one extended chase scene in a limited area with a great pace that leaves little time to catch your breath. Vacancy is a little shallow, not much beyond the chase scenes, but these are some really fun chases.

They should not have gotten off the highway. David Fox (Luke Wilson) and his wife Amy are driving back to L.A after an uncomfortable visit to her parents home. Uncomfortable because they didn't have the heart to tell mom and dad that their marriage is coming to an end. Once they arrive back in Los Angeles they will officially end things.

Getting back to L.A however won't be as easy as they thought. Wanting to get back quickly, David tried to beat heavy highway traffic with a shortcut on some backwoods road. Unfortunately, he can't read a map and soon they are lost. Worse yet, their car is making funny noises. Soon the car is crapped out on the side of the road. The closest service station is closed till the next morning so the couple takes up for the night at the Pinewood Motel, a skeevy little joint that doesn't look like it's had a guest in weeks.

The rooms are infested with cockroaches, the sheets are dirty and TV is broken. That is; except for the VCR which is stacked with tapes. On the tapes are videos that look as if they were shot in the very motel room the couple is occupying but these are no honeymoon night videos, these are snuff films and with cameras in the walls and creeps banging on the doors; David and Amy quickly realize they may be starring in a sequel if they can't find a way out.

Directed by Nimrod Atol, in his first American directorial effort, Vacancy is a chase movie on foot. David and Amy spend much of the film on the run through these little tunnels built beneath the hotel, running from one room to the next and knowing that no matter where they are, they can be seen by the cameras and the bad guys can come in whenever they want. Director Atol takes great advantage of his limited space milking it for tight, claustrophobic close ups that really amp up the tension.

The structure of Vacancy is smart and solid, a great foundation. Act one establishes the characters, act two, the chase begins and act three is even more chasing. Somehow, despite all the running in circles, the film never begins to chase its own tale. The logic is simple, survive or die, the plot needs no more development beyond that simple rationale.

When directors are looking for an actress who can be vulnerable and invulnerable within minutes they look for Kate Beckinsale. The steely star of the Underworld series is underrated as, arguably, the female action star of this decade. She kicks some serious ass in the Underworld movies and in Vacancy she twists from helpless to heedless in a quick emotional burst.

Luke Wilson is the modern day everyman slacker. The everyman of the past was the type of guy you could share a beer with. The new everyman is the kind of guy you could play videogames with before going for some beer and red bull. Wilson. like his protege Vince Vaughn, typifies the modern day everyman with his slacker charm and tousle haired handsomeness.

In Vacancy, Wilson slips his slacker charm in favor of sweat soaked determination. The key to Wilson's performance is that he never slips into action hero mode. There are no sudden bursts of violence, he is not suddenly imbued with the strengths and skills of a navy seal, Wilson's David is just an average guy in a not so average, dangerous situation. His average guy performance gives Vacancy a real, honest suspense. 

Shallow but with a fast pace and two terrific lead performances, Vacancy tells a typical thriller story just a little better than most similar films. Director Nimrod Atol is a little light on the logic but he makes up for it with his style and his quick pacing. Vacancy is not a movie that holds up to much scrutiny and won't stick in the back of your head long after you see it. While it's onscreen however; Vacancy is an exciting, sometimes edge of your seat thriller.

For fans of Wilson and Beckinsale and fans of a good chase thriller, Vacancy is a must see.

Movie Review Slow Burn

Slow Burn (2007) 

Directed by Wayne Beach 

Written by Wayne Beach 

Starring Ray Liotta, LL Cool J, Mekhi Phifer, Taye Diggs, Chiwetel Ejiofor 

Release Date April 13th, 2007

Published April 15th, 2007 

I have long been a believer in the auteur theory. The theory goes that the director is the author of the film and it is the director's vision above all others that makes a great film. This has bred within me a love of the writer-director, that rare breed of filmmaker who controls each of the most important aspects of the storytelling process.

Writer-directors, in my experience, make better films because the vision of the film belongs to them and them alone. But of course, just being a writer director does not make you a great storyteller. Case in point writer-director Wayne Beach the auteur behind the thriller Slow Burn. This convoluted mystery is the perfect example of a case where a director could have used a trained screenwriter to clean up some of the more goof ball aspects of an otherwise well directed movie.

Cole Ford (Ray Liotta) has risen through the ranks of the District Attorney's office at record pace. Not long ago he was a homicide detective taking night classes to become a lawyer. Now as DA he has his eye on the Mayor's office and his rags to riches political story has him profiled by a Vanity Fair reporter, Ty Trippin (Chiwetel Ejiofor).

However, Ford's rise to the top looks to come to a crashing end when his top gang crimes prosecutor, Nora Timmer (Jolene Blalock), murders a man in her home. She claims the man, Isaac (Mekhi Pfifer) was stalking her and had attempted to rape her when she shot him. Her story however, is full of holes, mostly poked by an informant, Luther Pinks (LL Cool J), who knows far more than he should.

Turning from the prosecutor to the informant, Cole finds two different stories of murder emerging. Each of the stories links back to a major drug dealer and some kind of event that will take place at 5 Am, some 5 hours from the moment of the murder.

Written and Directed by Wayne Beach, Slow Burn is a stylishly rendered attempt at modern noir. Unfortunately, the script is far too convoluted and utterly ludicrous to be taken seriously. Beach sets up a story of race and politics that has some potential, if he were Spike Lee. Wayne Beach is no Spike Lee and thus his racial material doesn't get much deeper than one allegedly interracial romance.

The racial aspect of Slow Burn is strange because it is so shallow and yet so intricately woven into the story. Jolene Blalock's Nora character passes for black but may in fact be white. The psychology of why she felt the need to pass for black, or vice versa, should have been worth exploring. However, Beach doesn't have any insight into this character.

It doesn't help that Blalock, though strikingly beautiful, is a cypher. Not believable as a strong black woman or as a woman trying to be black, Blalock's performance is wooden and predictable. Her performance is in fact so weak it is fair to wonder if Beach was forced to skim her character in order to avoid her performance. That would explain the lack of depth and how the story is hamstrung by lack of insight.

Of course, it could just be that Beach didn't have much beyond his neo-noir pretension to begin with.

You have to respect the commitment of Ray Liotta. He has made a number of pretty bad movies over the years but each performance is committed and even believable. Liotta has no second gear; he goes at each role for boredom and believes in each character he plays no matter how bizarre everything around him may be. As Slow Burn clumsily ambles to its predictable conclusion, Liotta is often affecting and believable. Sadly, the story, and his co-stars are far too inferior for Liotta to rescue.

LL Cool J certainly seems to be having fun playing a character who may as well have been called Red Herring. His character evolves to fit whatever odd shift in logic the story takes as if his character were being rewritten on the spot so he could deliver whatever necessary expository dialogue needed to make sense of this convoluted mystery. At Least he's having fun; just listen to him deliver such goofball lines as "She smelled like potatoes and every man wanted to be the gravy".

LL has a number of lines like that, "She smelled like an orange, ready to be peeled", and he delivers each with a voice that seems just about to burst into laughter.

There is a large kitsch factor on Slow Burn. Both LL Cool J and Jolene Blalock deliver performances that are laughable to the point of turning the film into a campy unintentional comedy. The script is bad enough with its half baked plot strands and predictable ending. Throw in LL Cool J and Jolene Blalock's performances and the kitsch factor nearly makes Slow Burn so bad it's good.

Okay, maybe not so good; but entertaining in ways that I'm sure writer-director Wayne Beach never intended.

Movie Review Perfect Stranger

Perfect Stranger (2007)

Directed by James Foley 

Written by Todd Komarnicki

Starring Halle Berry, Bruce Willis, Giovanni Ribisi, Gary Dourdan

Release Date April 13th, 2007 

Published April 12th, 2007 

The film is called Perfect Stranger but, sadly, Bronson Pinchot and Mark Linn Baker are nowhere to be found. Without question, after watching this basic cable reject thriller starring Halle Berry and Bruce Willis; I would have much preferred a big screen update of the small screen fish out of water comedy Perfect Strangers than the seemy, lurid, sleazy melodrama Perfect Stranger.

If you weren't buying the idea of an Oscar curse after last week's Hillary Swank debacle The Reaping it should become an undeniable fact after you see Halle Berry in Perfect Stranger.

When her childhood friend Grace (Nicki Aycox) is found to be the murderer, investigative journalist Roweena Price (Halle Berry) decides to go undercover and get the man she believes is responsible. His name is Harrison Hill (Bruce Willis) a high powered ad executive with a penchant for women who are not his wife and a kinky fascination with online chatting.

With the help of her newspaper researcher and computer wiz, Miles (Giovonni Ribisi), Roweena creates two different false identities, one is Catherine Pogue who takes a temp job in Hill's ad agency. The other is the online persona of Veronica who engages Hill online and uses his love on dirty talk against him. Can she get him to admit to murder or at least divulge incriminating details? That would be what a logical story arc might require, but that is not what you can expect from Perfect Stranger.

Directed by James Foley, Perfect Stranger is an unending sleazefest. A movie so icky you will need a shower afterward. Foley's idea of building a contentious, titillating thriller is to craft the worst possible set of characters and awkwardly aim them at one another. Then, when that gets dull, he simply trains his camera, uneasily, on the near naked form of Halle Berry in scenes so creepy that even the attractive Ms. Berry comes off sleazy.

What Bruce Willis was doing in Perfect Stranger is anyone's guess. This is the most ineffectual and forgettable performance of Willis' career, a career that includes both Hudson Hawk and Color of Night. The charismatic Diehard star here is wooden and lost in a sea of tawdry, basic cable cliches. His high powered ad man is basically a plot placeholder whose actions barely give context to this goofball thriller plot.

Giovonni Ribisi is the most effortlessly creepy actor working today. Whether it's his rat- like features or those serial killer eyes, he has that creep quality that makes him perfect for creepy roles in movies like Perfect Stranger. So, why then does director James Foley feel it's necessary to try and make him even creepier than he already is? In Perfect Stranger, Ribisi is allegedly a good guy and yet he may be the sleaziest of the sleazy characters in the film.

On top of a goofball thriller plot that employs one of the least believable, or logical, twists you've ever seen, director James Foley and writer Todd Komarnicki also toss in political scandal and a war protest. The film opens with a ludicrous exchange between Berry's undercover 'reporter' and a Republican Senator from New York whom she's got the goods on in an intern scandal ala the Mark Foley. Representative Foley from Florida is not related to director James Foley; as far as I know.

What is the point of Perfect Stranger? It's not entertaining, the characters are too sleezy for this to be conventionally entertaining. Is it supposed to be titillating? I assume so but with all of the sleeze poured onto the screen any and all attempts at being sexy or alluring are undone. Even the unbelievably beautiful Halle Berry is hard to admire in Perfect Stranger because of the way the camera doesn't capture her but rather leers at her in the way a dirty old man might watch a stripper.

Perfect Stranger is a sleezed out; late night cable movie dressed in big budget Hollywood clothes. Any movie that could make a man uncomfortable while ogling Halle Berry is clearly one big creepy mess. Admittedly, there is a twisted part of my psyche that wants you dear reader to see this movie just so you too can experience one of most outlandish, ludicrous twist endings ever put to film.

Rumor has it that director James Foley filmed three different endings for Perfect Stranger with three different twists. If this is the one he thought was the best; one can only imagine the laugh out-loniness of the endings he rejected. Maybe those endings will be on the DVD, in which case a camp classic of awfulness could be in the making.

Movie Review Pathfinder

Pathfinder (2007)

Directed by Marcus Nispel 

Written by Laeta Kalogridis

Starring Karl Urban, Moon Bloodgood, Russell Means, Clancy Brown

Release Date April 13th, 2007

Published April 14th, 2007 

The movie Pathfinder exists as an example of director Marcus Nispel's love of ultra-violence. Nispel, who last directed 2003's Texas Chainsaw Massacre re-imagining, has an affinity for violence that is quite curious considering his career prior to making feature films. Nispel is a former music video director who did fine work for artists like George Michael, Janet Jackson, Amy Grant and Billy Joel.

From that resume one could deduce that Marcus was desperate for a shot of manly ultra-violence. Thus we get Pathfinder, an exceptionally well shot bit of blood and guts action that forgets that there is more to filmmaking than just how cool you can make a severed head look as it floats through the air or how red the arterial splash is coming from a victims jugular.

Karl Urban stars in Pathfinder as 'the ghost'. Born a Viking, he rejected his plundering parents and was later discovered by a kindly Indian woman who took him in and raised him as her own. Now a man, Ghost, as his people call him must defend his new family against his old family. The vikings have returned to the new world to finish what they started. They wish to conquer this land and kill anyone who gets in the way.

That is the set up for Pathfinder, the payoff is some serious, hardcore violence and cruelty weighed down by some seriously bad acting and boring exposition. Director Marcus Nispel, working from a script by Laeta Kalogridis, sets up boring characters as placeholders for good and evil. The Indians are a kind, happy, sharing community. The vikings are savage, destructive meanies. And never shall nuance be introduced.

The film threatens, only momentarily, a social commentary on how America was founded on the blood of Indians who were robbed of their land and killed mercilessly if they refused to give it up. However, director Nispel doesn't have the patience for subtext and instead crafts a series of dull expository scenes as buffers between the astonishing bits of violence.

I must say that as bad as most of Pathfinder is, the violence as directed by Nispel and captured by cinematographer Daniel C. Pearl is exceptional. Though I could do without the hamfisted slow-mo's and mind numbing score, the violence of the sword play, the ax cuts and arrow blasts is eye catching and in a better film could have been really amazing. As it is, it's only a technical marvel.

Where Nispel fails in Pathfinder is the same place he failed with his take on Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's a failure to realize that the most compelling violence comes when we care about the outcome. The cardboard cutouts of good and evil that Nispel delivers in Texas Chainsaw Massacre and now in Pathfinder are incapable of involving an audience emotionally in whether they live or die.

Mystery Science Theater fans and lovers of bad movies everywhere will likely find much to enjoy about Pathfinder. With its Indian homilies and stereotypical noble savage portrayals the film is a vaguely racist hoot. Vaguely racist only because the Indians here are the good guys. Nevertheless, their onscreen portrayal in Pathfinder is only a politically correct step above the Wackowi tribe from TV's F-Troop.

Oh, if only the Indians in the movie were the only unintentional humor of Pathfinder. But no, wait till you see the first ever fight scene on sleds. Yes, sleds. Not real plastic and rope sleds like you had when you were a kid but rather a prehistoric sort of sled made from a Viking shield by our hero and used to blast down the side of a mountain like an X-Games athlete in a Mountain Dew commercial.

Then there is star Karl Urban who I swear is not this bad an actor. I know I have seen better, more compelling work from Mr. Urban, I just can't think of it right now. In Pathfinder Urban exists only to show off six pack abs and a tight backside covered only in a loincloth. Why would this be important to a movie that no woman in her right mind would ever watch intentionally? I have no idea, but there he is in all his oiled up glory.

Urban mumbles his every line of dialogue as if it were incidental to his performance. Who knows, maybe it was only incidental. There really isn't much for Urban or any of the characters to say in Pathfinder. As I said earlier, the film is merely a vehicle for director Marcus Nispel to display his love of spraying blood, flying heads and dismembered guts.

In that sense, Pathfinder is a modest success. The violence is extraordinary and eye popping, literally in the case of one ugly viking. It's the stuff in between the violence, the long, interminable interludes of Indian stereotypes and viking growling that makes a mess of the film.

For fans of hardcore violence and rock hard abs; Pathfinder is like a low grade 300. Not as compelling or well made as that Zak Snyder's blockbuster, but similar in its aims. The violence is extraordinary and honestly very well rendered by director Marcus Nispel. And star Karl Urban would be right at home on that Spartan battlefield with his shaved chest oiled up and ready for battle.

Pathfinder is a bad movie with great violence which leaves me at a loss. I can't recommend the film and yet I'm modestly impressed with some of it.