Moview Review Monsters

Monsters (2010) 

Directed by Gareth Edwards

Written by Gareth Edwards

Starring Scoot McNairy, Whitney Able 

Release Date December 3rd, 2010 

Published March 11th 2011 

To the list of the great overlooked movies of 2010 add “Monsters” a clever sci fi affected romance come road movie; a first feature from British director Gareth Edwards. With elements of “District ..9,”.. “Cloverfield” and “Jaws,” “Monsters” is the kind of first feature that ensures a long and fruitful career for its creator.

Set in the future, in Mexico, “Monsters” tells us that a NASA probe seeking proof alien life forms on a planet called Europa, crash landed on its return to earth and spread debris over Northern Mexico. Amongst the debris apparently was the alien life form which spread over a wide area that has become the infected zone.

In Mexico, Caulder (Scoot McNairy) is an American photographer on assignment from a major news organization. His goal is to capture on film one of these amazing, allegedly destructive alien creatures. However, Caulder's assignment is interrupted when his boss forces him to accompany his daughter Sam (Whitney Able) to the coastline where a boat will take her back to America.

Naturally, these two will bond but as played by newcomers McNairy and Able the romance evolves in subtle and natural ways. Director Edwards, who wrote the script and handled the special effects, takes great care to give equal weight to the burgeoning romance and the sci-fi plotting and each serves to give weight to the other.

Shot on a budget of around 500 grand, “Monsters” has surprisingly strong special effects. The creatures glimpsed mostly at night, glimmering like the floating creatures in Cameron's “Avatar” and walking with a realistic feel of the Prawns in “District ..9.”.. It's a remarkable achievement and one that deserves more acclaim than the film has thus far received.

At heart, “Monsters” is an exceptionally human story. Caulder and Sam are archetypes of characters we've seen before but director-writer Edwards gives his unknown actors enough room to move within these characters that they become real and highly sympathetic. The love story is underplayed yet quite compelling as the obstacles that emerge between the two are overcome by circumstance and real emotional bonding.

”Monsters” has an ease to it that other similar films fail to create. By forgoing the need for gratuitous carnage, a temptation most other films cannot escape, “Monsters” feels more genuine and the little carnage there is has meaning and sorrow attached to it.

It's a shame that “Monsters,” along with another film arriving on DVD the same day, also with a very different approach to a sci-fi plot, “Never Let Me Go,” was so badly overlooked. These are the kinds of daring approaches to genre movies that need our encouragement and reward our investment of time and money.

Movie Review Monsoon Wedding

Monsoon Wedding (2001) 

Directed by Mira Nair 

Written by Sabrian Dhawan 

Starring Naseeruddin Shah, Lilete Dubey 

Release Date November 30th, 2001 

Published November 30th, 2002 

For those who don’t know what Bollywood is, you're not alone. Until last year's Oscars when the film Lagaan received a Best Foreign Film nomination and news organizations began running news stories about India’s filmmaking machine, I thought Bollywood was a misprint. In reality, Bollywood is the name of India’s film industry which turns out more films every year than even Hollywood. Most Bollywood movies are musicals, in which characters and dialogue are secondary to lavish production design and bring-down-the-house broadway style musical numbers.

Indian director Mira Nair bucks the musical trend of her Indian brethren with American style narrative-based films that allow Indian actors to carry the day. Her most recent film, Monsoon Wedding is a joyous tribute to her family and heritage that combines classical Bollywood elements with her Americanized narrative style.

Monsoon is the story of an arranged marriage between Aditi (Vasundhara Das) and Hemant (Parvin Dubas) and the chaos that surrounds it. Aditi’s father Lalit (Naseeruddin Shah) is attempting to plan the wedding in the midst of running out of money and dealing with an incompetent wedding planner named Dubey (Vijay Raaz), who has no idea what anything actually costs until he finishes doing it. 

Dubey is also involved in a romance with Lalit’s maid Alice (Tilotama Shome), a romance that must be kept quiet out of fear of being fired. Aditi has even more problems having only agreed to the arranged marriage because her current lover won’t leave his wife. Aditi still has feelings for him even as her wedding is only two days away. Drama also surrounds Aditi’s cousin Ria (Shefali Shetty) and a family friend who, it is inferred, may have done something to Ria when she was a child.

As the film goes on music is weaved throughout, but not Broadway style sing and dance numbers, rather a heavy dose of Indian pop tunes which are surprisingly good even if you don’t understand the language. The songs are as much a part of the film as the actors, and while they don’t tell the story, the songs give the film its light airy tone.

While Nair focuses on storytelling, she does indulge in classic Bollywood production design. Bright lavish colors and even a dance number. These things are not out of character, they are a traditional part of an Indian marriage.

I am curious about how much of Monsoon Wedding is an insight into the real lives of Indian people. As I previously mentioned, Nair has an Americanized way of telling a story, which some Indian critics say doesn’t reflect real Indians. Rather odd criticism from critics who most often enjoy lavish musicals where characters break out in song for no reason. Somehow I doubt Lagaan or any other traditional Indian film is a real reflection on Indian life.

The same criticism was leveled by French critics towards the French romance Amelie. French critics felt that Amelie was too American to be a real French film. Accurate or not, Monsoon Wedding does at times feel a little Hollywood, or as Indian critics politely put it, too westernized.

Monsoon Wedding is very reminiscent of another wedding-based movie, Nia Vardalos My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Both films share the themes of marriage and family, though in Greek wedding the bride and groom choose each other, in Monsoon Wedding the marriage is arranged. Surprisingly though, the arrangement of the marriage isn’t much of an issue. Both Aditi and Hemant accept that this is part of their heritage and while the lives they have lived to this point have been entirely separate they see a future together. Arranged marriage or not you can see through pride and cooperation that this marriage has as much a chance at lasting as any. It may not be sexy, but what tradition is.

Movie Review Kingdom of Heaven

Kingdom of Heaven (2005) 

Directed by Ridley Scott

Written by William Monahan

Starring Orlando Bloom, Eva Green, Jeremy Irons, Edward Norton, David Thewlis, Liam Neeson

Release Date May 6th, 2005

Published May 5th, 2005 

When Ridley Scott announced he was taking on a crusades era epic, red flags went up all over the world. Given the current sensitivities in the middle east and the constantly inflamed situation on the border of Israel and Palestine specifically, a film about the crusades made by westerners seemed like a bad idea. That film, Kingdom Of Heaven, is now complete and it is indeed controversial, but not in the way we thought it would be. Instead of offending believers in Islam, the film goes out of its way to be fair to all sides which actually worked to offend many christians. You just can't win.

Orlando Bloom is the star of Kingdom Of Heaven as Balian, a blacksmith who we meet at the lowest point in his life. His son died shortly after birth, which led his wife to take her own life. His own priest is quick to remind him that because his wife committed suicide she will not go to heaven. It is at this lowest point that Balian's father Godfrey of Ibelin (Liam Neeson) returns with an offer of salvation, comes to the holy land, inherits his kingdom and helps King Baldwin maintain the tentative peace that has followed the third Crusade.

Balian is reluctant but eventually circumstances conspire to send Balian to the holy land. Along the way Balian's father is mortally wounded leaving Balian his title, Lord of Ibelin, and the charge to defend the people of the kingdom at all cost. Balian soon arrives in the holy land after surviving a nasty shipwreck, and is taken to meet King Baldwin (Edward Norton, hidden behind a metal mask) who immediately recognizes the good in Balian and entrusts him with defending the kingdom alongside his chief military officer Tiberius (Jeremy Irons).

The biggest threat to peace in the holy land is not the Muslim leader Saladin (Ghassan Massoud), who is portrayed as a reasonable and peaceful leader. The threat comes from inside King Baldwin's court, his sister Sybilla (Eva Green)'s huband Guy De Lusignan (Martin Csokas) commander of the Knights Templar, the Vatican's own order of Knights, intent on forcing all non-christians out of the holy city of Jerusalem. King Baldwin has managed a shaky peace but he is dying, the king has leprosy, when he is gone Sybilla will be queen and De Lusignan king.

This is the point in which the plot takes a disastrous turn. Balian is given an opportunity to kill Guy De Lusignan and marry Sybilla. The two have, by this time, fallen in love but Balian chooses not to and thus dooms the kingdom to a war with Saladin and his army of more than 200,000 soldiers. Though Balian, Tiberius and the soldiers in their charge refuse to fight, De Lusignan goes ahead with the attack and it is left to Balian to defend the innocent people left behind when the new king's army is destroyed.

One of my biggest pet peeves about movies is when the entire film rests on one obvious decision that if made correctly would negate the rest of the film. Balian's decision not to let Guy De Lusignan be hanged as a traitor, which he is, is the single dumbest decision he could possibly make. He knows that by deciding to spare him he is making him the new king and that thousands will die because of it. Balian's decision only offers the film the opportunity to continue, if he makes the right decision, the movie is over.

Is this linked to historical accuracy? No! In reality Balian never fell in love with or had an affair with Sybilla. The romance is a construct of director Ridley Scott and screenwriter William Monahan and they nearly try to pin the entire plot of the film onto one. The romance crumbles under the weight of the plot that hangs on it. Neither Orlando Bloom or Eva Green sparks in the subplot.

What is worse is that the romance is clearly a marketing decision and not a creative decision. The only reason Sybilla and Balian get together is because all ancient epic movie hero's have doomed romances. Brad Pitt's Achilles in Troy had Polydora, Russell Crowe's Maximus had Connie Nielsen's Lucilla and most recently Colin Ferrell's Alexander had Jared Leto's Hephaistion.

As for the action, I was one of the rare detractors of Ridley Scott's Oscar winning epic Gladiator, and the same problems that plagued that film plague Kingdom Of Heaven. CGI Hordes clashing on the battlefield gets real old real fast without a compelling story and dialogue as a backup. Gladiator, however, did have one thing going for it and that was the magnetism of star Russell Crowe, Kingdom Of Heaven is not as fortunate.

Surrounded by an extraordinary supporting cast, Orlando Bloom fades into the background never emerging as a believable action hero. When called upon to deliver a rousing speech near the end of the film, he sounds more like the petulant child he played in Troy than the inspiring hero that Russell Crowe brought to Gladiator. Bloom may have packed on 25 pounds of muscle for this role but nothing can make this guy look tough.

Liam Neeson in particular makes Bloom look bad. Neeson blows the kid off the screen with his stature, gravitas and poise. When Neeson leaves the movie you are sad to see him go. Jeremy Irons and the voice of Edward Norton are equally more compelling than Mr. Bloom. Finally putting his blustery scene chewing to rest, Irons delivers a weary but knowing performance and Mr. Norton though hidden behind a horrible metal mask cannot mask his natural actorly charisma.

With its plot construction problems and desperately inept lead, the least Ridley Scott could do is deliver on the controversy we were promised when the New York Times began floating the script around to religious experts and historians. Instead the film is even handed to a fault. There is the minor matter of the Vatican's own army portrayed as thuggish glory hounds fighting for riches instead of god, that is a little controversial but it's too weakly played to really resonate in the kind of controversy you remember and talk about after the movie.

No, in fact there is little to remember or discuss about Kingdom Of Heaven, another mundane exercise in Hollywood spending and marketing.

Movie Review: Crash

Crash (2005) 

Directed by Paul Haggis

Written by Paul Haggis

Starring Ludacris, Lorenz Tate, Brendan Fraser, Sandra Bullock, Shaun Toub, Matt Dillon, Thandie Newton, Terrence Howard 

Release Date May 6th, 2005

Published May 5th, 2005

Paul Haggis showed the depth of his talents as a writer with his Oscar nominated script for Clint Eastwood's Million Dollar Baby. The natural progression of any filmmaking career has lead Mr. Haggis out from behind the computer keys to behind the camera directing his first feature. Working from his own script, Mr. Haggis has crafted Crash, an intricately plotted and engrossing drama about the futility of violence, the helplessness of anger and the politics of race.

As two well dressed young African American men, Anthony (Rapper, Ludacris) and Peter (Lorenz Tate), walk down an affluently appointed street in Los Angeles discussing race, they are the only black faces to be seen. Even as they dress and act like they belong here, Anthony can't help but note the most minor of slights from the lack of good service in the restaurant they just left to a rich white woman (Sandra Bullock) who crosses the street with her husband (Brendan Fraser) when she see's them.

Anthony asks Peter what makes them so different from all these white people aside from race? They provide an answer to his question by summarily bringing out guns and stealing the couple's SUV. This act touches off a series of events that envelopes a pair of cops played by Matt Dillon and Ryan Phillippe, a detective and his partner played by Don Cheadle and Jennifer Espisito, a locksmith and his family (Michael Pena) an Arab family headed up by Farhad (Shaun Toub) and a black married couple played by Terrence Howard and Thandie Newton.

When Sgt. Ryan (Dillon) and his rookie partner Hanson (Phillippe) get a call that a car jacking has taken place nearby, Ryan pulls over the next similar looking car he sees. Despite the fact that the SUV is clearly not the one they are looking for (Hanson points out that the license plate is different) Ryan stops it anyway after seeing the driver, Cameron (Howard), black. The stop is marked by Ryan harassing Cameron's wife Christine (Newton) over the weak protest of Hanson. The incident is devastating to Cameron and Christine's marriage.

Peter happens to be the brother of police detective Graham Waters (Cheadle) who, as a result of the carjacking, is brought to the attention of the L.A District Attorney Rick Cabot, the victim of the crime along with his wife, Jean (Again, Brendan Fraser and Sandra Bullock). Cabot wants a black detective on the case to avoid accusations of racism and he wants Detective Waters specifically.

Meanwhile Jean at home alone is absolutely freaked out by the incident and has had the locks changed. Unfortunately when her husband sent for a locksmith (Michael Pena) he did not know he was a tattooed inner city Latino, something his wife notes immediately in accusing the man of wanting to change the locks in order to return later and rob her. For his part the locksmith is good hearted family man who has struggled to get out from under this sort of cultural bias all his life.

When the locksmith accepts one more late night job at the grocery store before heading home we get a very tense scene between he and the shop owner Farhad (Shaun Taub) an Iranian immigrant who speaks very little English. What was a simple misunderstanding due to the language barrier very nearly turns violent and leads into yet another scene at the locksmith's home that may be the strongest moment in the film when you yourself see it.

The links between all of the various characters in Crash are tenuous in terms of actual interaction. However in terms of themes, race and racism, they could not be more strongly connected. So bold are the themes and the characters that you can forgive the often forced attempts to connect them physically in the same scene or plot strand.  

Crash is akin to Paul Thomas Anderson's extraordinary 1999 ensemble drama Magnolia. Both films share a reliance on chance and fate and sprawling casts of well known and respected actors. Crash Director Paul Haggis eschews Anderson's esoteric flights of fancy-- there are no frogs in Crash-- but both films pack an emotional punch that will leave the theater with you. Crash is hampered slightly by not having Magnolia's extravagant run time of three plus hours, for at a mere 93 minutes the film has far less time to establish its characters.

Haggis makes up for this by creating dramatic scenarios that are harrowingly tense and emotional. The scenes involving Michael Pena's locksmith and Shaun Toub's Iranian shop keeper are an extraordinary example of Mr. Haggis's ability to craft confrontations that provoke fate without entirely crossing that thin line between dramatic realism and fantasy.

Crash is ostensibly about racism but it goes much deeper than that into an examination of the psyche of a broad expanse of people displaced emotionally by tragedy, by violence, by hatred and more importantly by chance. Chance is the strangest of all, the way people are sometimes thrown together in situations they never could have imagined. Chance breeds fear but it can also breed love. You can meet your end by chance or meet your destiny. Crash is all about chance encounters, people crashing into one another and the way their lives unfold afterwards.

A brilliant announcement of a new talent arriving, Crash brings Paul Haggis from behind the writer's desk and into the director's chair in the way that Paul Schrader broke from his roots of writing for Martin Scorsese to direct his first great film American Gigolo. Like Schrader, Haggis will continue writing for others (he and Eastwood are collaborating once more on the upcoming Flags of Our Fathers), but with Crash, Mr. Haggis shows where his future really lies.

Movie Review Sahara

Sahara (2005) 

Directed by Breck Eisner 

Written by James V. Hart, Thomas Dean Donnelly, Joshua Oppenheimer

Starring Matthew McConaughey, Steve Zahn, Penelope Cruz, Lambert Wilson, Rainn Wilson, William H. Macy 

Release Date April 8th, 2005

Published April 8th, 2005

Author Clive Cussler had vowed never to work with Hollywood again after what they did to his 1982 novel Raise The Titanic. That film was a massive commercial and artistic failure and Cussler was devastated. 23 Years later Cussler has finally returned to Hollywood and once again he has been disappointed. Sahara, based on Cussler's 1994 best seller that continues the adventures of Cussler's signature action hero Dirk Pitt, once again has Cussler fighting Hollywood in court while a movie based on his work stinks up theaters.

Matthew McConaughey stars in Sahara as Dirk Pitt, oceanographer and adventurer. Part Indiana Jones and well... part Indiana Jones, Dirk Pitt seeks buried treasure and occasionally prevents a global ecological disaster. His latest adventure has him and his sidekick Al (Steve Zahn) chasing the legend of a civil war ship stocked with gold that somehow floated from the Carolinas to the Sahara desert.

Parallel to Dirk and Al's adventure is that of a World Health Organization doctor Eva Rojas (Penelope Cruz). The doc is following a virus across Africa and crosses paths with Dirk when she is attacked on the beach by thugs trying to keep her from the source of the outbreak. Dirk saves her life and flirts up a storm and the adventure begins again.

The remaining plot revolves around the virus which is linked to a wealthy industrialist in the middle of the desert, Massard played by Lambert Wilson. The industrialist is dumping nuclear waste with the help of a warlord, General Kazim (Jude Akuwidike) who is involved in a civil war with a group of peasants apparently named after an American car, Tuareg. Dirk and co. must stop the nuclear waste, punish the industrialist and fight Kazim and maybe find the civil war ship that was nearly forgotten amid the goofy environmental plot.

Matthew McConaughey is the ideal actor for this material. With his movie star looks, oozing charisma and quick wit, he is a classic heroic leading man. Teamed with Steve Zahn as his comic sidekick and Penelope Cruz as his eye candy love interest, you have the pieces in place for a solid B-movie adventure. Unfortunately something is lost in the translation of this terrific team of actors into a coherent and entertaining action picture.

That missing element that would turn Sahara into a good movie from a mediocre rehash of action cliches is Director Breck Eisner. Directing as if he were stuck in neutral, Breck Eisner stifles the good things about Sahara, the amazing cast, with bad editing, bad pacing and a bad script penned by old friends of his rather than trained screenwriters.

Given Breck Eisner's industry credentials, you know who his father is, the adaptation of the script by his good buddies T.D Donnelly and Josh Oppenheimer seems like the whim of a charlatan. Who is going to stop the son of one of the film industry's top executives from making a movie, even if he wants to chuck the script in favor of a rewrite by his friends. Clive Cussler's worst nightmares come true in yet another adaptation that makes his already over the top brand of action novel look ridiculous.

The one truly enjoyable aspect of Sahara is the camaraderie of the cast who seem to really be having a good time. So what if the film makes absolutely no sense, the actors are all good looking, funny, charming and they are clearly having a blast. It's like watching a group of friends on the most unique vacation video in history.

Not everyone is in on the fun. Poor Lambert Wilson, The Merovingian from The Matrix sequels, is left with the worst part in the film. As the bad guy he is required to act with the least amount of motivation, logic and most of all the least amount of fun. Where Wilson clearly relished his badness in Matrix Reloaded, he seems in pain in Sahara delivering his haughty threats through gritted teeth, his French accent barely concealing his contempt for the words in the script.

The term Deus Ex Machina is latin and means a contrived plot device in a play or novel or in the case of Sahara, the entire plot of a film. Deus Ex Machina is how all of the lead characters in Sahara are able to adapt the exact knowledge needed at exactly the moment it is needed. Or how characters previously unavailable arrive just in time to make dramatic rescues or add a suspenseful twist. Whether Clive Cussler's novel rested so much on contrivance I don't know, I never read the book, but the film Sahara relies on contrivance in nearly every scene.

Deus Ex Machina is forgivable in small doses, but not when it makes up the entire film!

How acrimonious is the relationship between the makers of Sahara and writer Clive Cussler? There is still litigation pending over the changes made from Cussler's book to the movie. Cussler was given assurances by the producers that he would be able to veto any changes he did not agree with. That agreement was made before Breck Eisner came aboard as Director.

Having never read the book Sahara I don't know how extensive the changes were, but given the flaws littered throughout the film version, I would tend to side with Clive Cussler. Sahara it seems did not turn out the way anyone could have reasonably wanted it to, but for Clive Cussler it is now twice that he has felt such extensive disappointment.

Movie Review: Fever Pitch

Fever Pitch (2005) 

Directed by Peter Farrelly, Bobby Farrelly 

Written by Lowell Ganz, Babaloo Mandel 

Starring Jimmy Fallon, Drew Barrymore, JoBeth Williams

Release Date April 8th, 2005 

Published April 7th, 2005 

Peter Farrelly is a huge Boston Red Sox fan and has been since he was a kid growing up in the tiny state of Rhode Island. When he and his brother, and producing partner, Bobby moved to Los Angeles Bobby became a Dodger fan and Peter remained loyal to the Sox. Through Bucky Dent in '78, Buckner in '86 and Bret 'freakin' Boone in 2002 Peter lived and died by the Red Sox.

So it must have been an extraordinary experience for Peter when while shooting his latest film Fever Pitch ,a romantic comedy about an obsessed Red Sox fan's first real relationship, that he was allowed to shoot the movie in and around Boston and in the cathedral of Fenway park and all while the real Red Sox were making their historic run to break Babe Ruth's curse. Call it fate or serendipity or just dumb luck, not only was Peter Farrelly on the field when the Sox won the series, he shot a terrific movie while he was there.

Fever Pitch stars Jimmy Fallon as a lifetime Red Sox fan named Ben. His uncle took him to Fenway as a 7 year-old kid and he's never left. Inheriting his Uncle's season tickets right on the first base line Ben has developed a second family with the other lifetime Sox fans and been there through the hard times. Ben's apartment is a shrine to his obsession filled to overflow with memorabilia, jerseys and posters.

Naturally, women have tended to find Ben's Red Sox passion a bit of a turn-off.  He's never had a serious relationship that lasted past Spring training. That changes however when he meets Lindsey (Drew Barrymore) a just reached thirty workaholic who thinks she can take Ben's Red Sox fandom in stride if he can accept how much she works. Lindsey, however, greatly underestimates just how obsessive being a Red Sox fan can be, especially when the Sox are in the playoffs.

Drew Barrymore could do this material in her sleep. While Reese Witherspoon and Meg Ryan openly campaigned to be the new Julia Roberts, Drew has crafted the most Julia-esque career. A career filled with solid light hearted romantic comedies that make big money. The Wedding Singer, 50 First Dates, and Never Been Kissed are not ground breaking cinema but they are solid mainstream entertainments that showcase her unique brand of sweet, slapstick goofiness and innocent sexuality.

As for Jimmy Fallon, he has not exactly set the world on fire in his few attempts at big screen stardom. In fact, after last years atrocious action comedy Taxi I wanted to set him on fire. In Fever Pitch Fallon greatly improves over that performance (how could he not?) thanks mostly to the believability and heartfelt acting of Drew Barrymore and the pitch perfect script by the Farrelly Brothers.

Fever Pitch is superbly crafted to grab both male and female audiences with its perfect mixture of light romance and sports fanaticism. To even the appeal of the film between men and women, the Farrelly Brothers have even toned down their usual brand of gross out humor for a more traditional form of romantic comedy. This is a more mainstream, less abrasive comedy than anything the Farrelly's have done before. Don't worry though, the brothers have not forgotten the hardcore fans.

In Fever Pitch the Farrelly Brothers have replaced their usual brand of gross out humor with Three Stooges style light violence; no one really gets hurt but it looks like it. Lindsey gets beaned in the head by a foul ball, one of Lindsey's friends is slightly hurt when Lindsey drops her while she is climbing a rock wall in a gym and, in the films, climax Lindsey plays cat and mouse with Fenway security after dropping off the centerfield wall. These moments of cartoon paroxysm are sprinkled throughout Fever Pitch just to remind you that this is still a Farrelly Brothers film.

The script is based on a novel written by Nick Hornby about an obsessive soccer fan. All the Farrelly's had to do was take out some of the drinking and all of the riots, change sports and move it to Boston, the one place in America where Baseball obsession could come close to the kind of loyalty shown by British soccer hooligans. Then they added some of their trademark over-the-top humor and a nearly perfect mainstream comedy is born.

Movie Review Mission Impossible Fallout

Mission Impossible Fallout (2018) 

Directed by Christopher McQuarrie

Written by Christopher McQuarrie 

Staring Tom Cruise, Henry Cavill, Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, Rebecca Ferguson, Michelle Monaghan 

Release Date July 27th, 2018 

Published July 25th, 2018 

The Mission Impossible series has been a rollercoaster of quality since its inception 22 years ago. The first film wasn’t great but it did begin the slow, upward crawl of the series. Then, the series picked up speed by embracing the slick, shallow style of director John Woo for Mission Impossible 2. Finally, in Mission Impossible 3, the series peaked with the J.J Abrams directed thriller that was brimming with suspense and bursting with action while telling the best story the series has told thus far.

It was back down the quality coaster after that with Ghost Protocol but Rogue Nation began the climb back upwards and now Mission Impossible Fallout has arrived to provide another, somewhat smaller peak for the franchise. Filled with smart twists and turns and a strong payoff, Mission Impossible Fallout is perhaps the best blend yet of Fast and Furious style goofy fun with the stylish grit of the Bourne franchise, the true sweet spot of the Mission Impossible franchise.

Mission Impossible Fallout finds Ethan Hunt on the trail of nuclear warheads that are on the black market. The spy ring known as The Syndicate, is without its leader, Solomon Lane (Sean Harris), whom Ethan and his team captured in Rogue Nation, and they’ve been making up for his absence with even more terror attacks around the globe. The nukes however, are their final big play and Ethan needs to get to them before The Syndicate does.

Unfortunately, after missing out on the nukes in Berlin, Ethan is forced to take along a C.I.A Agent to watch over him and his team. Agent Walker (Henry Cavill) is a hard-headed, cold-hearted, efficient spy who specializes in killing whoever needs to be killed to accomplish his mission. Naturally, Walker’s approach clashes with Ethan’s more nuanced take on spycraft, the kind that doesn’t get a whole lot of other people killed.

Fallout brings the return of Rebecca Ferguson in the role of Ilsa Faust. When last we saw Ilsa she was getting out of the spy business, leaving behind her career at London’s MI6. Sadly, the spy game is not so easy to walk away from. This time, Ilsa’s aims are in direct conflict with Ethan’s and the two will come close to killing each other on more than one occasion during Mission Impossible Fallout.

Fallout was written and directed by Christopher McQuarrie, the screenwriter who tried to save Ghost Protocol with some script doctoring before taking the full reins of the series for Rogue Nation.

McQuarrie may be just the right creative force for the series. His style combines the slick and stylish visuals that are a hallmark of the series but he’s also not blind to the details of good storytelling and doesn’t let the stunts get in the way of telling a good story. Stunts are, of course, the bread and butter of the Mission Impossible franchise but, throughout the series, the necessity of Tom Cruise to put his life on the line for some adrenaline rush and a good public relations have come at the expense of the story. Ghost Protocol for instance had a pair of big action set pieces set in stone before the film even had a script. The writers had to write the stunt rather than coming up with stunts to go with the story.

Any screenwriter would likely admit that having to write to the action rather than forming an organic storyline is less than an ideal way to write a script. That problem plagued Ghost Protocol and to a lesser extent, Rogue Nation where McQuarrie merely had to write in Cruise hanging from the side of a plane as it took off. Fallout has some big action but none of it feels sewn on to the story, it all feels as if it proceeds from the story.

Perhaps the biggest stunt in the movie, if not the most talked about, is a helicopter battle where Cruise has to nearly fall off of the helicopter and save himself by the skin of his teeth. It’s a spectacular sequence and part of a kinetic closing act that is intense and rarely lets up on the excitement and suspense all the way to the end. The most talked about stunt in Fallout is a foot chase in which Cruise parkours his way across London rooftops in pursuit of the enemy.

Cruise was injured in the chase, breaking his ankle attempting to jump from one building to the next in a gnarly jump that rumor has it, is in the final cut of Fallout, though the scene proceeds at a pace where you may not notice it. Cruise’s injury shutdown production for eight weeks and ballooned the film’s budget to reportedly more than $250 million dollars. It probably was not worth it for this particular stunt but studios aren’t inclined to tell a star like Cruise not to do his own stunts.

Mission Impossible Fallout has the best traits of the lesser parts of the Mission Impossible franchise. Slick, stylish and occasionally shallow, the film could have been just another stunt-fest. Thankfully, the story picks up with a couple of great twists, especially a rare call back to the first film in the franchise, and by the end the story and the pace are feeding each other and the thrills coming at you at a frenetic pace.

I really enjoyed how Fallout combines the goofy thrills of a Fast and Furious movie with the gritty seriousness of the Bourne franchise. That’s right where this franchise should be, serious but not too serious, outlandish but not over the top. The first Mission Impossible showed what would happen if you took this material too seriously, the second film showed what happened if you didn’t take things seriously enough. MI3 nailed the formula with great story and great action and Ghost Protocol, Rogue Nation and now Fallout have tried with varying success to match what Abrams did in MI3 to little avail.

Fallout is the closest the series has come to its creative peak and for that it is definitely worth checking out in theaters this weekend.

Movie Review Mission Impossible 2

Mission Impossible 2 (2000) 

Directed by John Woo

Written by Robert Towne

Starring Tom Cruise, Dougray Scott, Thandie Newton, Ving Rhames

Release Date May 24th, 2000 

Published May 20th, 2020 

The second installment of the Mission Impossible franchise is really where the series found its feet. After the first film, though financially successful, failed by forcing director Brian DePalma to make a standard, mainstream action movie, the makers of MI2 picked the right director to deliver a slick, stylish, fast paced action movie that didn’t have to do anything other than just be cool looking to succeed.

Director John Woo, the inventor of the cool style of action adventure cinema, was the perfect choice to direct Mission Impossible 2. Woo favors visual dynamism over story and that style over substance approach works for the mindless sort of fun that was missing from the first film which ached to be both taken seriously as a movie and be enjoyed as an action adventure movie, and nearly failed on both accounts.

We picked up the action of Mission Impossible 2 by introducing our ‘MacGuffin.’ For those that aren’t aware of classic movie tropes, the macguffin is a term coined by the legendary filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock to describe a plot device that all the characters in the movie are seeking. It can be any kind of nebulous concept as long as everyone is chasing it, that’s what propels the story along. The Maltese Falcon is arguably the most famous example of a MacGuffin, a thing everyone in the movie wanted for whatever reason the plot decided.

The Macguffin in MI2 is a virus and a cure known as Chimera and Bellerophon. A doctor friend of our hero, IMF Agent Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) has created both the worst virus in history and its cure and is attempting to escape with them both as the movie opens. Unfortunately, the doctor falls into the hands of a turncoat IMF Agent, Sean Ambrose (Dougray Scott), impersonating Ethan. Ambrose murders the doctor and absconds with the MacGuffin and the chase is on.

To find Ambrose, Ethan must enlist Ambrose’s former flame, a thief named Nyah (Thandie Newton). It will be her job to get back into Ambrose’s life and get Ethan and his team, including his old buddy Luther (Ving Rhames) and a newcomer Aussie pilot named Billy (Jon Polson), close enough to retrieve the virus and cure before Ambrose can sell them to the highest bidder or unleash them on the world out of spite for the IMF.

The plot of Mission Impossible 2 isn’t important, we’re here for the cinema of cool, the cinema of John Woo and the style over substance master does not disappoint. Slow-motion cameras capture spectacular chases and stylish cinematography brings out the sexy fight over the affections of Newton’s Nyah between Ethan and Ambrose. Sure, saving the world and all is important or whatever, but looking good is the point of MI2 and everyone and everything looks incredible.

Every Mission Impossible is known for the stunt that nearly got Tom Cruise crippled or killed and MI2 is no different. Our first glimpse of Ethan Hunt in MI2 is him free-climbing a craggy rock in the middle of the Utah desert with no one around for miles. Naturally, Cruise insisted on doing the stunt himself and watching him narrowly cling to the side of a nearly flat cliff face is honestly still as breathtaking today as it was in 2000 when the film was released.

Screenwriter Robert Towne, back from having over-written the first Mission Impossible film crafted the screenplay with a much leaner and clearer narrative. Towne claims that he had to fit a pair of stunts into the movie even before the plot of the film had been devised and had to write the scenes into the movie as he created the screenplay. This, naturally, includes Ethan’s introductory scene and a scene near the end involving a motorcycle fight.

The motorcycle ballet at the end of Mission Impossible 2 is wildly silly and implausible but wonderfully so. Director Woo delivers the scene in his classic, slick-slo-mo style and it works for the slick, empty spectacle of MI2. Also great is the closing fight scene between Cruise and Scott where Cruise’s lithe physicality is framed beautifully within Woo’s perfectly seamless and crisp scene-setting that, of course, includes his trademark fight-scene doves.

Tom Cruise appears a great deal more comfortable in this empty-headed sequel. The first film featured him being cocky yet calculated and when you could see Ethan’s wheels turning it often slowed the film to a halt with overwrought flashbacks and other such nonsense. Thankfully, MI2 does not burden the actor or character with too much to think about and just gets on with the business at hand, super cool fight and chase scenes.

Mission Impossible 2 is as shallow as a drying puddle but it looks and feels spectacular. It’s like a great looking car that gets no gas mileage, completely impractical for use, but it looks amazing. Every frame of Mission Impossible 2 is a gorgeous fantasy of the action spy genre. The awesome locations, the world travelogue cinematography and the spectacular action makes the movie insanely watchable if not all that rewarding for your attention-span.

Movie Review Mission Impossible

Mission Impossible (1996) 

Directed by Brian De Palma 

Written by David Koepp, Robert Towne

Starring Tom Cruise, Jon Voight, Emilio Estevez, Emmanuelle Beart, Kristen Scott Thomas

Release Date May 22nd, 1996

Published May 20th, 2016 

Mission Impossible doesn’t really hold up. I hate to say it because I really enjoy most of the franchise but the 1996 movie doesn’t hold up 22 years later. Watching Mission Impossible with modern eyes, the flaws stand out from Cruise’s desperate performance, Jon Voight’s lazy performance and the underwritten female characters stand apart from the lesser good things about the movie.

Ethan Hunt is an agent of the Impossible Mission Force, a branch of the CIA that specializes in the kind of espionage of the most impossible nature. Hunt works under veteran agent Jim Phelps (Jon Voight) alongside a team that includes Jack (Emilio Estevez), Sarah (Kristen Scott Thomas), and Claire (Emmanuelle Beart). Claire is Jim’s wife though quickly sees that she and Ethan appear to have eyes for each other.

A digression, the chemistry between Cruise and Beart has heat from time to time but the great disappointment of the movie is how little is done to exploit that chemistry. Brian DePalma is one of the great sleaze directors of all time and for him to allow the Ethan-Claire relationship to be so innocent to the point of being cookie-cutter, ala dozens of similar movie relationships, indicates how little this is really a Brian DePalma movie.

On a mission in Prague attempting to prevent a Russian spy from stealing a list of the real identities of IMF agents worldwide, everyone on Hunt’s team is murdered and he is framed for their deaths. On the run, Ethan is surprised and notably suspicious, to find Claire had survived despite having been in a car that later exploded. Nevertheless, he trusts her to be part of his mission to find the person who framed him. 

Mission Impossible was directed by Brian DePalma who appears to have been hired for his name value and not his style. Mission Impossible contains almost none of the classic DePalma style of sexy, weird, chaos. Sure, some of DePalma’s output is deeply problematic through the lens of history but you can’t argue that he was boring except when he directed Mission Impossible.

Compared to movies like Snake Eyes or Carrie, the action tropes of Mission Impossible are dull.

It’s hard not to assume that Mission Impossible is boring because of Tom Cruise. I say this as a fan of Tom Cruise. I am genuinely someone who believes Cruise is a fine actor. However, the deep, almost fetishistic control Cruise has over his onscreen persona can keep him from being fun. The actor assiduously avoids anything controversial, he plays it safe especially here in the wake of his first real failure, his much mocked performance in Interview with the Vampire.

Mission Impossible is such a rigidly paced action movie that even that classic Tom Cruise twinkle in the eye and million dollar smile are toned down and held back in favor of a stoic, dare I say, charisma dimmed performance. I get that Ethan Hunt is supposed to be a rigid, book hero but we go to the movies to see stars and big personalities and while his willingness to let the action do the talking is nice, I’d rather he have some personality while he’s action-ing.

It’s especially egregious because I expect so much more from both Cruise and Brian DePalma. DePalma has an eye for idiosyncrasy and had he been allowed to find the idiosyncrasies of Ethan Hunt and exploit them and had there been anything even remotely controversial about the character, perhaps the movie would hold up over time. Instead, looking back at the original, it’s a wonder this franchise is still around.

Thankfully, the franchise picks up the personality in the other movies, especially when they allow John Woo to make the film franchise his own. Here however, Brian DePalma is wasted and the film is shocking by the numbers. Cruise is sweaty and desperate throughout, rarely allowing Ethan to have a personality beyond his remarkable competence and impressive physicality. Kristen Scott Thomas and Emilio Estevez are killed off and Emmanuelle Beart is left with far too much of the dramatic heavy lifting.

The one thing that stands out as genuinely inspired in Mission Impossible ‘96 is the casting of Vanessa Redgrave as the big bad. The veteran actress is the one person in the film who is genuinely having fun. Redgrave sinks her teeth into the role and in her brief screen time the film is as fun as she is. The rest of the movie however, is just dour. Jon Voight especially is miscast as Jim Phelps.

Oddly the only even remotely controversial thing about Mission Impossible, and mind you I am not asking for the film to be outre in a violent or transgressive way, just have some personality. The only controversy the film courted was in the portrayal of Jim Phelps. Phelps was one of the main characters of the beloved TV series Mission Impossible and the twists and turns of his plot angered fans who held a love for Peter Graves’ stoic, reliable performance.

Even the famed train sequence that closes Mission Impossible appears less impressive though the frame of history. In wrestling terms, Mission Impossible is what is called a Spot Fest, a match centered on the biggest moves the competitors are capable of. The series focuses heavily on topping one big action spot after another and what’s happened in the more modern sequels has rendered the helicopter spot from the original film not unlike the Hulk Hogan leg-drop, a move that was once iconic and now seems rather silly next to a 5 Star Frog Splash.

If only Mission Impossible had half the personality of a wrestling match, perhaps it wouldn’t be so unremarkable.

Movie Review Never Back Down

Never Back Down (2008) 

Directed by Jeff Wadlow 

Written by Chris Hauty 

Starring Sean Faris, Cam Gigandet, Evan Peters, Djimon Hounsou 

Release Date March 14th, 2008

Published March 15th, 2008 

It is fair to wonder, as we watch the stream of PG-13 garbage like Never Back Down roll out, could someone like Ralph Macchio even have a chance of being a lead actor today? Looking over the last five years worth of movies even remotely similar to Macchio's teen fluff of the 80's you find nothing but buffed up, gap models.

Moreover, rarely do you see someone who might be, to adopt the vernacular of the casually racist, too ethnic. Ralph Macchio, with that hint of olive in his skin and slight northeast accent, would likely be left to fend for a best friend role. Daniel son in the 2008 version would likely be played by Sean Faris.

Jake Tyler (Sean Faris) was a hotshot football star at his little high school in Iowa. Now however, as his mother moves him and his little sister to Tampa Florida, he is ready to leave football behind and settle into high school anonymity. His hopes of becoming a wallflower disappear however when he falls for a hottie named Baja (Amber Heard) who happens to be the girlfriend of the school bully.

He is Ryan McCarthy (Cam Gigandet) and he runs the school by beating the crap out of people. He holds underground mixed martial arts contests and is the undisputed king of the school. For Jake to win Baja's heart and change the landscape of the school he must train and become the new, benevolent, king of the school. To do that he seeks out the help of an ex-MMA champ turned gym owner (Djimon Hounsou) who trains him and becomes something of a father figure.

I'm sure many critics made the connection between Never Back Down and The Karate Kid but it bears repeating. That film starred Ralph Macchio as the picture of innocence, a sweet youngster who, through the teachings of Mr. Miyagi, finds confidence and inner strength through beating people up. Never Back Down is the exact same formula, right down to stealing the bad guy's girl, but with better looking actors and the fad of mixed martial arts.

Djimon Hounsou is a much more female friendly version of Mr. Myagi with his chiseled physique and exotic accent. And Amber Head's lolita like Baja, dressed only in short skirts and tight bikinis, a stark contrast to Elizabeth Shue's charming innocence and love of fluffy sweaters tied at the shoulder. Finally, there is star Sean Faris who plays the Daniel character only with more muscles and less.... Ethnicity.

Mixed Martial Arts is having its moment in the cultural spotlight and seems likely to carve out a small place for itself. In that sense, Never Back Down is certainly timely if not in any way original. Of course, MMA is merely a cultural touchstone for Never Back Down not really a milieu. The fights are cut quickly to avoid any actual contact that might mess up the GQ ready faces of the stars.

Think I'm exaggerating? Check out one of the fight scenes in Never Back Down and the scene that follows. After repeatedly pounding one another, fighters arrive at school the next day with a bandaid over an eye minus any visible bruise, cuts or contusions. While you're at it, find yourself a real MMA fighter, you aren't likely to find one who looks much like Sean Faris or Cam Gigandot.

To ask for realism from any movie, let alone a lame little teen movie is admittedly, ludicrous. But equally as ludicrous is a fight movie starring guys who look as if they have never been in a fight before. Say what you will about the waifish innocence of Ralph Macchio, each time he fought in The Karate Kid he came out looking like he had been in a fight.

Karate Kid was a modest pop melodrama but everything about it is superior to Never Back Down. In fact Karate Kid puts the lie to Never Back Down in every way imaginable. Where one has characters we believe and come to care about, the other has cardboard cutouts borrowed from body spray commercials. 

Movie Review Obsessed

Obsessed (2009) 

Directed by Steve Shill

Written by David Loughery 

Starring Beyonce, Idris Elba, Ali Larter, Bruce McGill, Jerry O'Connell 

Release Date April 23rd, 2009 

Published April 22nd, 2009 

The thriller Obsessed wants to be, needs to be a trashtastic spectacle. Instead what we get is a timid, messy, goofball effort that fails to deliver on the promise of its guilty pleasure premise. The commercials sold Beyonce vs that chick from Heroes that isn't Hayden Pannetiere. We want the catfight, we get a minor kitten tangle.

Idris Elba, who may be best known for his work on HBO's little seen but much loved drama The Wire, stars in Obsessed as Derek, a happily married executive trying to put his womanizing ways in the past. You see, his wife Sharon (Beyonce Knowles) was his assistant when they met. Now, as a married man he has a rule: No female assistants.

That rule however, has to be waived when Derek is stuck with a comely temp named Lisa. They met and  briefly, modestly flirted before Derek knew she was going to temp for him. Derek didn't think much of the flirtation but Lisa is consumed with it. It's not long before she is making excuses to get him alone and eventually making a serious play on him at the office Christmas party.

Derek turns her down at every turn but unfortunately, he kept the whole thing from his wife. When Lisa makes a dramatic move that gets the cops involved Sharon finds out and Derek's picturesque life is in shambles. Meanwhile, looming from the movie's marketing campaign is that Sharon-Lisa confrontation that is the film's selling point.

Directed by television veteran Stephen Shill, Obsessed is a surprisingly dull slog for what should be a trashy little B-movie filled with cheap thrills. It's as if Shill and company were reluctant to accept their place in the movie world. It's not that they really aspire beyond cheap thrillers but rather that they lack the commitment to be as cheap and nasty as a movie like this needs to be to be successful.

Obsessed wants desperately to match the zeitgeist capturing heights of the similarly themed 80's classic Fatal Attraction. However, it lacks the raw, visceral sexuality of that film, not to mention the utterly fearless performance of Glenn Close. Ali Larter is certainly no Glenn Close. Though quite a beauty, Larter can't Close's commitment and strange, frightening charisma.

As for pop star Beyonce, her limitations as an actress continue to show. Her face, though lovely, is a blank slate in even the most stressful of scenes. Her soundtrack contributions are filled with passion but her acting leaves a great deal to be desired. In the head to head fight with Larter we get some hair pulling and an obvious, predictable end so badly shaded in the opening scenes that you might laugh if you haven't checked out already. Dull, dimwitted and inept, Obsessed fails at the minimal goal of being a cheap thrill.

Movie Review Paddington

Paddington (2014)

Directed by Paul King

Written by Paul King 

Starring Hugh Bonneville, Sally Hawkins, Julie Walters, Jim Broadbent, Peter Capaldi

Release Date November 24th, 2014

Published November 23rd, 2014 

The trailer for “Paddington” is among the worst I have seen in some time. Based on the trailer one would not be incorrect in the assumption that “Paddington” will be another in a series of insulting takes on beloved children’s properties such as “The Chipmunks,” or “The Smurfs.” The trailer features gross out humor, bad slapstick and, worst of all, not one, single, solitary laugh.

That was just the first trailer. The second trailer only seemed to pile the dirt higher on the film’s grave. The follow up trailer introduced Nicole Kidman as the film’s villain, a taxidermist determined to make Paddington the next prize in her museum collection. Ms. Kidman’s career has been on a steady decline for some time now and her status, plus the general awfulness of both trailers seemed to signal doom for “Paddington.”

So, imagine my surprise when upon seeing “Paddington” I did not find a steaming pile of Smurf like offal. Imagine, in fact, expectations so lowered by awful marketing that I found myself delighted by “Paddington.”  Yes, the lowered expectations helped, but truly “Paddington” is really quite unexpectedly good.

“Paddington” features the voice of Ben Whishaw as the titular bear, a rare breed from deepest, darkest Peru who learned to talk from his grandparents who were visited by an Englishman in some timeless realm. The Englishman invited the bears to come visit him in England any time and when poachers begin poking around the forest, Paddington is sent off to England for safe keeping.

During World War II as London was besieged by German bombers, children were evacuated from the city. Some of the children were orphaned by the bombings and to give them a new life in a new town they were often given only a cardboard sign around their neck asking that someone please take care of them. Knowing this story, Paddington is given a similar sign upon his arrival in London.

Found by the Brown family, including mother Mary Brown (Sally Hawkins), father Henry Brown (Downton Abbey’s Hugh Bonneville) and their two children, Judy (Madeline Harris) and Jonathan (Samuel Joslin), Paddington quickly finds a new home while also beginning his search for the Englishman who once invited his family to England.

A rather convoluted backstory introduces Nicole Kidman as Millicent, the film’s villainous Taxidermist. That the role is not a complete embarrassment to the one time box office star and Academy Award Winner is something of a triumph. You can sense from the beginning that this is a movie Kidman made so her children could see her and yet the compromise somehow doesn’t harm the performance. Kidman hams it up to surprisingly good effect in “Paddington.”

First time feature director Paul King makes “Paddington” work by creating a very simple, pleasant tone. The film is gentle and sweet and, aside from the abysmal bathroom sequence seen in the trailer, avoids being simpleminded and pandering. Smartly no effort is made to make Paddington hip or modern, the film exists in a time warp, it’s very own universe with familiar rules, save for the fact that bears can talk.

Aside from the bathroom scene from the trailer, the fact that no one in England finds a talking bear odd is the film’s biggest flaw. I hate it when a movie makes the fantastic seem common place. Aliens, superheroes, and talking bears are something to marvel at if they’ve never been seen before. Avoiding how unusual a talking bear is plays like a joke that only the filmmakers found funny.

I generally don’t care for movies that are described as ‘Gentle’ or ‘Pleasant’ but I didn’t mind it so much in “Paddington.” Something about the plushy “Paddington” invites ‘Gentle’ and welcomes ‘Pleasant.’ Had the marketing campaign played up the gentle and pleasant aspects of “Paddington” rather than the one, outlying scene of misguided antics, I might have even more appreciation for “Paddington.”

Movie Review Miss March

Miss March (2009) 

Directed by Trevor Moore, Zach Cregger

Written by Trevor Moore, Zach Cregger 

Starring Trevor Moore, Zach Cregger, Craig Robinson 

Release Date March 13th, 2009 

Published March 13th, 2009 

The guys behind IFC's The Whitest Kids You Know are a relatively funny troupe in the sketch comedy setting. Given a large scale film production and asked to deliver a cohesive coherent feature film, that funny becomes truly something relative.

Miss March stars Zach Cregger as Eugene, a High Schooler who advocates for abstinence. With his girlfriend Cindi (Raquel Alessi) he delivers disturbing talks to small children about sexually transmitted diseases. Eugene had hoped that he and Cindi could wait till they were married before they fell into bed but with prom approaching, Cindi wants to have sex.

Eugene eventually agrees but on the night in question, at a post-prom party, he is absolutely terrified. With Cindi waiting in a bedroom upstairs, Eugene attempts some liquid courage with the help of his long time horndog pal Tucker (Trevor Moore). In fact, Eugene imbibes so much liquid courage that he ends up dropping himself down some stairs and into a coma.

4 years later Eugene wakes up with a bat to the face. It's Tucker who had to try something to wake his best friend. This, especially important because Eugene's gal Cindi is all grown up and posing in Playboy. With this knowledge, Tucker busts Eugene out of the hospital and heads for the Playboy mansion.

Tucker also has an ulterior motive. A fight with his girlfriend Candace (Molly Stanton) has him the target of her angry brother and his brotherhood of crazy firefighters who end up chasing Tucker and Eugene all the way across the country. Also joining the chase is Tucker's pal, a rapper played by The Office star Craig Robinson.

Robinson's rapper has a name that is, I am quite sure, meant to be hilariously funny. I won't repeat it here. I will say that I don't get it. There are non-sequiturs and then there is outright absurdity, I am not sure where this rapper's name falls on that bizarre continuum.

Bizarre is a good way of describing Miss March. It has a plot with a simple propellant. A guy wakes from a 4 year coma to find his girl has posed for Playboy. Simple, straightforward, not unlike the J. Geils classic Centerfold, aside from the coma part.

What writer-directors Cregger and Moore do with this premise is overload it with lowbrow humor and non-starter absurdity that never seems to land within miles of a punchline. Did I laugh? Yes. Trevor Moore has one of those rubbery faces and odd vocal manners that make for easy laughs. Unfortunately, the laughs are too few and far between.

One funny sequence in the movie that I can recall has Cregger repeatedly slapped by a playboy security guard. The guard is played by Davon McDonald who excels in small roles such as this. He was lovable as Dwayne the bartender in Forgetting Sarah Marshall last year. His repeated reasoning for slapping Eugene is the one moment where Miss March earns a few significant laughs.

But, as I said, the laughs here are too few and far between. Miss March is basically a dull witted sex romp/road movie with little invention beyond the simple premise and its series of unfunny body function jokes. It's not terribly offensive really, more of a forgettable waste of time.

Movie Review American Sniper

American Sniper (2014) 

Directed by Clint Eastwood 

Written by Jason Hall 

Starring Sienna Miller, Bradley Cooper 

Release Date December 25th, 2014

Published December 21st, 2014

One scene in “American Sniper” wraps up who Chris Kyle truly is. Set atop a rooftop in Iraq, among a group of other snipers protecting a convoy, Chris Kyle spies a chance to kill a rival sniper. This rival sniper, a former Olympic shooting champion from Syria, has been picking off American soldiers from an incredible distance for some time now.

The rival sniper is about 1000 yards away and Chris can just barely make out his presence from a brief flash of light. The shot is nearly impossible but what makes the situation even more dangerous and compelling is that Kyle cannot make the shot without tipping off nearby insurgents to the presence of American soldiers on the rooftop.

Here is where Chris Kyle is truly revealed: will he take the shot and compromise his own safety and that of his fellow snipers for the chance to kill his ultimate rival? All at once we come to know Chris Kyle as competitive, dangerous, loyal to a fault, vengeful, protective, arrogant and devoted to a very particular cause: protecting the men on the ground.

Kyle takes the shot and remarkably, though 1000 meters away, he does take out his target. The shot then alerts the insurgents who quickly converge on the building. In this moment a new Chris Kyle is born, a vulnerable, frightened and remorseful man who in the midst of the coming chaos calls his wife to declare that he’s ready to come home. Bear in mind, in this moment, there is no guarantee that he will leave this rooftop.

Bradley Cooper infuses this scene with gut wrenching authenticity. Chris Kyle’s time as a soldier ends in this moment and the grief, relief, fear and catharsis arrive in waves. Director Clint Eastwood amps the scene with powerful, confident angles, quick cuts between Kyle, his wife back in Texas, an approaching sandstorm and the blur of faceless enemies rushing into the building.

The tension of this scene exhausting in the best possible way as we have been on a rollercoaster of emotion already and the scene plays like the last major climb and climactic drop. Many of us will never know the exhilarating fear brought about by actual life or death combat and this scene is likely as close as we will ever get.

Many critics have claimed that “American Sniper” is a jingoistic celebration of a warmonger. This dismissal of the film ignores the many conflicting emotions at play in the rooftop scenes. In the space of several minutes Chris Kyle is revealed as a man of great determination, skill and patriotism as well as a man who is quite vulnerable, dangerously competitive and arrogant and carrying enough guilt to have developed a death wish.

It’s not clear if Chris Kyle wants to die, the call to his wife seems like an indication of something to live for, but here he is initiating a situation that very likely will get him killed. That he is willing to die so that others may live is noble but the scene does not portray a noble sacrifice but rather a man in a fit of pique, defying orders with an agenda all his own. To this point, Chris Kyle has been a model soldier and yet he defies orders and likely got men killed in his single minded pursuit of his own goal.

Clint Eastwood and Bradley Cooper do not cower from the uglier side of Chris Kyle’s life in “American Sniper” and the rooftop sequence is a fine example of their complex and thoughtful take on his life. At every turn of “American Sniper” we in the audience are invited to see to Chris Kyle and make up our own mind whether we find him heroic or not. This is not hagiography, as the rooftop sequence indicates, this is one of the most raw and honest portrayals of the complexity of being a soldier ever put to screen.

Movie Review The Eye

The Eye (2003) 

Directed by David Moreau, Xavier Palud

Written by Sebastian Gutierrez

Starring Jessica Alba, Alessandro Nivola, Parker Posey

Release Date February 1st, 2008

Published February 3rd, 2008 

Growing slowly into her star power, Jessica Alba steps up to the solo lead role in the Japanese horror remake The Eye. Alba is hoping to find the same kind of mainstream success that Naomi Watts and Sarah Michele Geller found after each topped the box office in their respective remakes, The Ring and The Grudge. Alba has the advantage of having the best source material of the three, the original The Eye was a creeptastic freakout. The dumbed down American version, clipped for mass PG 13 consumption, fails to do justice to the source material but doesn't stink nearly as bad as The Ring or The Grudge, financial success never an indicator of artistic success.

Sydney Wells (Jessica Alba) has been blind since a childhood accident at the age of five. Now, more than 20 years later, her sight is going to be restored. A donar retina has been found and the surgery perfected to apply it and give her sight for the first time in decades. Unfortunately, with her new sight comes the visions and memories of the former owner of the eyes. According to scientific studies, there are documented cases of transplant patients who take on the personal habits of the people who donated to them. The case most cited is of a marathoner who received a donated liver from a smoker. After the surgery she started smoking.

Nevertheless, her sister Helen (Parker Posey) and her new doctor Paul Faulkner (Alessandro Nivola) both believe she is cracking up. Maybe she is but we believe her because we see everything she sees.

David Moreaux and Xavier Palud co-directed The Eye from Sebastian Gutierrez' watered down, PG 13 script. In typically sub-genre fashion Moreaux and Palud are pigs at the Hollywood trough, willingly dumbing down their work for the benefit of their bank accounts. Gee guys, why not just make another The Ring movie, or another The Grudge. We don't confuse audiences by challenging them too much. The Eye is close enough that the audience you think is rather pea brained anyway will get the close association with those other The.... horror flicks, but you don't want to confuse the children.

Kids 13 to 17 I understand that you are desperate for entertainment but the more you are willing to watch movies like The Grudge, The Ring and The Eye, the more Hollywood will make them. These producers really think you are stupid. And you aren't helping change that. You've seen the same movie, counting the Ring and Grudge sequels, 6 times now. Hollywood has given you PG-13 photocopies 6 times and you keep going back. It's the same with those awful spoof movies. When you throw away money on Meet The Epic Date Scary Movie, you give Hollywood the idea to make more of them.

Kids, you must stop this yourselves! Demand something different or they will continue to think you are stupid.

The Eye is not the worst of this genre, merely the latest. Jessica Alba continues to be an engaging presence but she needs to fire her agent for putting her in a series of bad movies meant solely to pad her bank account. Then again, that may be the only reason she got into the biz. Maybe she's just after the fat cash. She took that role in Fantastic Four despite obvious issues with those two awful scripts. She took the lead in Awake, a unique but flawed thriller from late last year. Now she stars in a Japanese horror remake and picks up a fat paycheck and little else.

If it's just about the money it makes sense. If however Ms. Alba is serious about her craft or about entertaining people, I hope she begins finding better roles. It's not that she lacks the talent to play better roles. Rather, she has simply chosen badly thus far in her career.

Movie Review Hairspray

Hairspray (2007)

Directed by Adam Shankman

Written by Leslie Dixon 

Starring Nikki Blonsky, John Travolta, Christopher Walken, James Marsden 

Release Date July 13th, 2007 

Published July 12th, 2007

John Waters Hairspray was an independent movie that made only 6 million dollars during its theatrical run in 1988. Nevertheless, the film struck a chord with someone, because over a decade later the film was plucked from obscurity and turned into a Broadway musical that went on to gross far more than the film ever did and garnered a few awards along the way.

Now Hairspray is back on the big screen and in a most astonishing turn of events, Hairspray gets even more successful in its return to the big screen. This jaunty good natured, upbeat satirical musical is the most consistently smile-inducing film this side of Ratatouille and nearly as much of a must see.

First time actress Nikki Blonsky, who won a nationwide talent search to get this role, stars as Tracey Turnblad an optimistic young teenager in early 1960

Of course, what people really want to know about Hairspray is, how does John Travolta pull off the crossdressing, the fat suit and the song and dance all at once. He's absolutely terrific. Though saddled with a Baltimore accent that limits his ability to belt out the songs in full voice, Travolta really throws all of his talent and charisma into this performance and his joy is fun and infectious.

The star of Hairspray is not John Travolta however, it's the music. These are some terrific songs; performed with style, humor and panache. My personal favorite is "Run and Tell That" a fast paced dance tune performed by Elijah Kelley who I believe is a star waiting to happen. Watch this performance and the chemistry he has with Amanda Bynes during this song and throughout their scenes. Bynes herself is a real joy to watch, together with Elijah Kelly, they are great fun.

The showstopper is an all-cast blast called "You Can't Stop The Beat" a rousing announcement of the arrival of the 1960's and modern times and values. Hairspray captures our move to a more permissive time, an experimental and unique time in our history. In this moment the film is both of its time, the 60's, and beyond it.

Hairspray is a guaranteed great time at the movies. A non-stop toe-tapping, smile inducing musical that will leave you humming, if not dancing, out of the theater. Young star Nikki Blonsky is a revelation as Tracey Turnblad, not bad for a contest winner, and John Travolta is a scene stealer as her mom Edna, just wait till you see Edna dance with Christopher Walken as Wilbur Turnblad, this scene alone is worth the price of a ticket.

Rat up your hair, call your best girl and go see Hairspray. If you can't have fun watching this movie, you simply don't know how.

Movie Review: Captivity

Captivity (2007)

Directed by Roland Joffe 

Written by Larry Cohen 

Starring Elisha Cuthbert, Daniel Gillies, Laz Alonzo 

Release Date July 13th, 2007

Published July 13th, 2007

Director Roland Joffe made a splashy Hollywood debut with back to back Best Director Oscar nominations for 1984's The Killing Fields and 1986's The Mission. From there his career has been a precipitous freefall. He followed up The Mission with 1989's bloated cold war drama Fat Man and Little Boy and 1992's dull Patrick Swayze drama City of Joy.

Then Joffe really hit the skids. In 1996 Joffe teamed with then hot star Demi Moore for a remake of The Scarlett Letter that is now a legendary debacle. Joffe has worked only one other time in the past decade, a forgettable period piece called Vatel, and he returns to the big screen with yet another disastrous turn. His latest, Captivity , is an ugly little enterprise in brainless brutality.

Elisha Cuthbert stars in Captivity as Jenifer, a supermodel/actress who, as luck would have it for our central serial killer, travels the streets of New York with no bodyguard or boyfriend. Luckier still, she goes to a hot nightclub where she has no friends, acquaintances or hangers on of any kind, leaving her wide open to be drugged and carried off by some skeevy loser.

When Jenifer awakens, she finds herself locked in a cell where she will be repeatedly drugged and tortured. Thankfully, there is another captive next door, Gary (Daniel Gillies), who helps keep Jenifer sane and plan a way out of this situation. Along the way Jenifer and Gary fall for each other and more than just a little captive romance gets going, even as the two are tortured in tandem.

Rumor has it that director Roland Joffe crafted a more cerebral take on this material, less gore, more psychology. It is alleged that After Dark Films honcho Courtney Solomon rejected that cut and ordered re-shoots that eventually churned out this mind numbingly brutal exercise in torture porn ugliness. Whether that story is true or not, it's hard not to notice how some of the more disturbing, violent or just plain disgusting scenes in Captivity feel tacked on.

As this dopey plot unfolds, with one confoudingly ludicrous scene after another, it nearly becomes Ed Wood-ian in its overall ineptitude with director Roland Joffe not in the Ed Wood role but more like the sad, tragic, aged Bela Lugosi. Blissfully unaware of how awful the project is, Joffe plunges ahead with all the professionalism he can muster and does manage to keep the film looking as if it were directed with some talent.

However, the blundering storyline and ridiculous turns of plot undermine any attempt by Mr. Joffe to make Captivity anything more than an exercise in numbing sub-genre histrionics.

So what is the entertainment value of Captivity? Are we frightened? Not really, the flaws in the films logic remove much of any suspense. Are we disgusted? Yeah sure, but do you find that bubbling in your stomach as a character is force fed a human remains smoothie, entertaining? I don't. And so we are left with ogling star Elisha Cuthbert, something one could do in the privacy of their own home with an FHM Magazine and a far more satisfying result.

A quick disclaimer for you PETA members out there. There is a scene with a dog in Captivity that will have you rushing to the door to get a ticket refund. Save yourself the trouble of watching the scene, take my word for it, just start protesting now.

Captivity is really faux torture porn horror pic. The film is padded with extra gore and some disturbing images in the marketing to glom off the supposed cool of films like Hostel or Wolf Creek. In reality, Captivity is a bad movie tagged with extra violence and viscera as a marketing technique. Maybe that story about the reshoots is true but the logic was likely that Captivity is so bad as a psychological horror film that gory was the only way to give the film a pulse.

Whatever the reasoning, it didn't help. Gore or no gore, Captivity is simply a bad movie.

Movie Review Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix 

Directed by David Yates

Written by Michael Goldenberg 

Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane

Release Date July 11th, 2007

Published July 10th, 2007 

With any series of movies fatigue is inevitable. That is one of the things that has made the four previous Harry Potter films so impressive, each was seemingly better than the last. Well, the law of averages has finally caught up to J.K Rowling's creation. The fifth Potter film, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, is a step down in quality from the first four.

Don't get me wrong, by the standard of your average Hollywood production, Order of the Phoenix is very good. However, by the high standards of its franchise predecessors, it's a slight disappointment. Confusing plot holes, skips in the timeline, and lapses in logic give Order of the Phoenix the messy feel of an aging franchise.

Another summer has come to an end and young wizard Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe) is ready for his return to Hogwarts School of Magic. However, his arrival is not without trouble, terrifying dreams of his encounter with the evil Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) are plaguing him. Worse yet, few if anyone in the magical realm believe him when he says he faced off with the dark lord

The Ministry of Magic, led by Lord Fudge (Robert Hardy), for one is highly skeptical and even suspicious that Harry's story is a scare tactic being used by Professor Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) to take over the ministry. Fudge's staunchest ally, Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton) is even more paranoid and suspicious of Dumbledore and Harry. When she becomes Hogwarts new Defense of the Dark Arts teacher, at the behest of the Ministry, she begins making life difficult for Harry and getting under Dumbledore's skin.

All of these strands of plot coalesce naturally toward a head to head fight with the dark lord that is one of the film's more impressive visual moments, but something of a let down in terms of grandiosity and emotional impact. First time director David Yates renders the action of Harry Potter exceptionally well. The encounter with Voldemort and the battle that precedes are terrifically compelling set pieces, visually dazzling and edge of your seat exciting.

Sadly, where director Yates and first time Potter scribe Michael Goldenberg is in giving the action an emotional impact. Plot holes doom these major action scenes to simply looking impressive while logically faltering. In the case of a dramatic death at the height of the action, the moment is so chaotically rushed that the impact is blunted.

As for the logic problems, a description would require heavy spoilers. Let's just say that there are mindless moments in Order of the Phoenix that are quite surprising for this series which has rarely been simplistic or predictable. The hand of god seems to reach in more than ever before in the Potter series offering rescues and trapdoors when the plot requires them.

The Harry Potter franchise features a who's who of the best British actors in the business and this time around Oscar nominee Imelda Staunton is the scene stealer as the prim and proper villainess Dolores Umbridge. Hers is a performance of marvelous malevolence. From the moment her lacquered hair-do and horrifying pink ensemble appear on the screen, with her shrill drill sergeant's tone of voice, Staunton steals the show as the villain you love to hate.

Staunton isn't the only new scene stealer in the Potter universe, Irish youngster Ivanna Lynch is a real treat as the odd duck Luna Lovegood. Revelling in J.K Rowling's wondrously detailed character, Lynch brings loony life to this oddball while also managing to make her sympathetic and a favored ally of Harry and company. Lynch performs this role with her whole being, a lilting yet determined voice, a relaxed funky manner and a style all her own, her Luna Lovegood is a welcome addition to the sprawling Potter ensemble.

As for our returning stars; Daniel Radcliffe continues to be the perfect embodiment of Harry Potter's angst ridden youth. Though never the picture of an action hero, it is Radcliffe's average qualities that make him so perfectly suited to the role and able to consistently surprise us with his strength and vulnerability. In Order of the Phoenix we begin to get inklings of what a Harry Potter might be should he survive his ever imminent encounter with Lord Voldemort and Radcliffe imbues these scenes with hope and optimism even as Harry evinces fear and uncertainty.

His young co-stars are having a harder time finding the right balance in their performances. Rupert Grint's Ron Weasley continues to be Harry's loyal sidekick but sadly he recedes deep into the background of Order of the Phoenix rarely offering even his usual comic relief. As for Emma Watson her struggles are the most obvious in Order of the Phoenix. Her Hermione Granger is becoming somewhat shrill with her emotions running to extremes at all times. Watson needs to find some balance between constant fright and tight lipped ascension before she burns out from bounding from one extreme to the other.

For J.K Rowling loyalists, the scene many will be waiting for with bated breath is Harry's first kiss with the comely Cho Chang played by Katie Leung. Indeed the scene is in the movie but sadly it falls flat compared to Harry and Cho's chaste tower encounter in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Unfortunately, Director David Yates blunts the emotional impact of the scene by rushing it along.

Book fans however can take heart in Yates' wonderful foreshadowing of another character who is set to become Harry's love interest in future sequels.

Yes, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is a lesser effort compared to the previous Potter films but considering that this is a truly transitory entry in the series; that is to be expected. Keep in mind that David Yates is a first time director taking the helm of one of the greatest franchises in film history and working with a screenwriter who delivered his first Potter script after Steve Kloves adapted each of the first four films and you have to marvel at the fact that the film wasn't a complete disaster.

If Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix demonstrates anything it is that the main creative force here remains Potter creator J.K Rowling. Directors come and go and even screenwriters come and go but the vision for these characters and this story remains with Rowling's stunning creativity. Whether you come to love Order of the Phoenix as much as the previous films, or not you will still walk out with the same anticipation for the next chapter that you had waiting for this one.

Movie Review Rescue Dawn

Rescue Dawn (2007) 

Directed by Werner Herzog

Written by Werner Herzog 

Starring Christian Bale, Steve Zahn, Jeremy Davies 

Release Date July 4th, 2007

Published July 5th, 2007 

Werner Herzog is one of our filmmaking treasures. As both a director of fiction and a documentarian he has shined a human light through art that few directors can match. A close friend of Herzog was a man named Dieter Dengler. Herzog chronicled Dieter's extraordinary life in the documentary Little Dieter Needs To Fly. Now Herzog has fictionalized Dieter's story in the drama Rescue Dawn.

Going from the strict realist perspective of the documentary to the more free form of fiction; one would assume Herzog might take liberties with Dengler's story of his extraordinary escape from Vietcong sympathizers in Laos in 1966. Instead, Herzog is actually more strictly realistic in Rescue Dawn than he was in Little Dieter Needs To Fly and the result is a rather dry and distant recollection of events that should have a more cathartic and human focus.

Dieter Dengler never wanted to hurt anyone, he just wanted to fly. After seeing American pilots nearly kill him in his world war 2 era home in Germany, Dieter moved to America and pursued his dream to fly in the only place he knew he could get his wings, the Air Force. It was 1966, Vietnam was becoming a hot zone and pilots were in demand to straif the countryside and make way for ground forces bogged down by the unique and challenging jungle battlefield.

For his first mission Dieter was given top secret clearance for a dangerous and controversial mission. Hos squadron is authorized to fly over Laos and take out North Vietnamese supply lines coming from that country. Dengler is shot down and is soon captured by Vietnamese sympathizers. Taken to a POW camp, Dengler finds a hopeless group of fellow POW's whose emaciated bodies made for an atmosphere of desperation.

Dengler would have none of it and his attitude began a brave rebellion that would eventually save his life.

Based on the story told to writer-director Werner Herzog by his friend Dieter Dengler in the documentary Little Dieter Needs To Fly, Rescue Dawn is no action movie take on Dengler's struggle to escape. Rather Rescue is a dry retelling of an extraordinary story. Herzog, maybe because he told this story before, doesn't seem to see much that amazes him about this story, he observes Dieter's actions with a detached, just facts approach.

I'm not saying the story needs embellishment or some invented action, just observing that Herzog's approach here is so irreverent that the real life danger Dieter Dengler faced is reduced to a detached recreation of Dengler's memory of the events.

Christian Bale does what he can to bring life to Herzog's sparse dialogue in Rescue Dawn. Bale infiuses Dieter Dengler with a playful arrogance and serious determination that he would have needed to survive this horrific situation. It is a very real performance by Bale, one of his most fascinating if not his most successful.

Rescue Dawn is simply too far away from this material for it to be really involving. Not until the end, after Dengler has made his escape, is the audience allowed a little catharsis but soon after the film is over, as if Herzog sensed the audience identifying with the material and sought to end that as soon as possible. This arms length approach defines Rescue Dawn and handicaps it.

Rescue Dawn is well made and professional but refuses to let audiences get involved in it. Like the just the facts approach of a classic documentarian, Werner Herzog strives for truth in Rescue Dawn at the expense of the kind of audience identification people expect in a movie. Oddly enough, as Roger Ebert observes in his Rescue Dawn review, Herzog approached his documentary version of this story with some magic realism that softened the story and made it more audience friendly.

Taking Rescue Dawn as it is I can recommend it for fans of Herzog and for you History channel lovers but for those looking for a classic war movie or action flick, Rescue Dawn is not the movie for you.