Movie Review: Bruno

Bruno (2009)

Directed by Larry Charles 

Written by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Mazer, Jeff Schaffer

Starring Sacha Baron Cohen, Bono, Harrison Ford, Paula Abdul

Release Date July 10th, 2009

Published July 9th, 2009

If ever  a movie deserved the NC-17 rating it's Bruno, the latest prank comedy from British provocateur Sacha Baron Cohen. Best known for his character Borat, also a boundary stretching R-rated comedy, Baron Cohen's latest makes Borat look tame by comparison. 

Bruno is, according to voiceover, Austria's number one fashion guru. He sits front row at the best fashion shows and designers live for his opinion. Unfortunately, when he shows up for a fashion show dressed in a velcro suit he brings down the entire house and is blacklisted from the fashion world.

Looking for a new start Bruno moves to Los Angeles where he hopes to become a worldwide celebrity. This plot is merely a jumping off point for a lot of humor at the expense of homosexuals and really anyone unfortunate enough to wonder into Bruno's line of sight.

In targeting everyone Baron Cohen misses just about everyone. From easy targets like the homophobic Westboro Baptist Church and a Los Angeles based Psychic to one time Presidential candidate Representative Ron Paul and American Idol judge Paula Abdul, no one is safe from Bruno/Baron Cohen's onslaught of homophobic and racial humor.

It's odd but I laughed a great deal at Bruno. The sheer audacity of some of the things Baron Cohen does on screen earns your respect for his bravery and more than a few laughs. However, on reflection you realize how empty those laughs really are. Psychics and homophobes? Not exactly groundbreaking targets.

In one highly derivative moment Baron Cohen and director Larry Charles visit a church in Alabama where they claim they can turn gay people straight. The idea is that gay Bruno wishes to become straight to become a celebrity. One must wonder however if he borrowed the idea from director Charles' previous effort, the documentary Religulous where star Bill Maher took on another church with the same claim head on and in much funnier fashion.

The most awkward and seemingly unfair series of scenes involve Bruno learning to become macho by going hunting with a group of Alabama hunters. The hunters are assumed to be homophobic, mostly because they are southern not because they have gone out of their way to demonstrate it, but it is not their discomfort with gays that comes out in these scenes but rather Baron Cohen's overall creepy approach.

Baron Cohen is begging for a homophobic response from these four hunters, even going as far as stripping nude and asking to share one man's tent. I don't care how tolerant someone is, there is no proper way to respond to that. The scene is awkward, creepy and uncomfortable and if it draws a laugh it is for the audacity of Cohen and not at the expense of the unfortunate hunter.

Much has been made of Representative Ron Paul's appearance in the film. The scene set up is shocking but again it is Bruno and not Representative Paul who looks like a creep as he drops his pants in front of Mr. Paul after going desperately out of his way to make Mr. Paul uncomfortable. Would I prefer that Mr. Paul not use a homophobic slur as he does while fleeing Bruno? Yes. But I understand his frustration.

The film is by some machination is Rated-R. I must say that what I saw in the first 10 minutes of Bruno more than warranted an NC-17. Again, it doesn't matter whether you are homophobic or not, I don't think you want to witness simulated gay sex. You get just that within the first 10 to 20 minutes of Bruno.

Just because the naughty bits are censored doesn't mean what you are seeing is not pornographic. This is really pornography dressed up as a comedy. Moreover, it's Baron Cohen playing a prank on us in the audience, daring you to walk out. Trust me if you decide to see the movie and walk out after 10 minutes, you are not homophobic, you just have good taste.

I will admit, I didn't walk out. The outrageousness, the sheer audacity of what I was seeing, and often turning away from until it was off screen, was so stunning that I succumbed to the idea of what will he do next. Bruno never fails to create one scene more shocking than the next.

Is Bruno daring and provocative? Yes. It's even funny in the sense of how incredulity can often turn into laughter. But, on further review, Bruno/Baron Cohen is really just a cheap shot artist throwing random shots in all directions and missing nearly every target simply for the fact that he has no real perspective to defend.

Bruno is gay but he is an ugly stereotype of homosexuality. He confronts homophobes in a fashion that some will find admirable but doing so while essentially displaying his own homophobia defeats the satire. Trying to force people, not surprisingly southerners, into displays of homophobia is just cheap.

There is no agenda, gay or otherwise in Bruno and without a perspective to defend or put forward the result is nihilism and what's funny about that? Bruno is not pro-gay or homophobic. He is not in favor of pompous celebrity but he fails to lampoon it. Bruno is vaguely racist but shys away from exhibiting racism or satirizing it well.

I laughed at Bruno. A lot. But, upon reflection, the laughs are empty and meaningless. The comedy of discomfort often leads to this feeling of emptiness afterward. There are no ideas in Bruno, only awkwardness, discomfort and the feeling of being cheated by a prankster who pretends to be on your side, pretends you too are in on the joke when he is really just punching everyone, including the audience.

If that sounds like fun for you, so be it. It was fun for me in the moment. Not so much fun now that I think of defending what I laughed at. I laughed out of shock, incredulous at how else to react. I have never seen anything so daring onscreen before and I was hooked by it. Now, I wish I had done something better with my time and you may feel the same. That is, if you can even make it through the movie as I did.

Movie Review: Blindness

Blindness (2009) 

Directed by Fernando Meierelles

Written by Don McKellar

Starring Mark Ruffalo, Julianne Moore, Alice Braga, Danny Glover, Gael Garcia Bernal

Release Date October 3rd, 2009 

Published October 10th, 2009 

Fernando Meierelles is an infinitely talented director whose features City of God and The Constant Gardener are breathtaking exercises in visual dynamism and urgent storytelling. It leaves one utterly baffled then to find Meirelles the director of Blindness; a dreary, sluggish horror story that features a plague nearly as curious as M. Night Shyamalan's evil oxygenating trees in The Happening.

Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo lead a diverse cast as a husband and wife. The husband is an opthamologist who is suddenly stricken blind. The previous day he had seen a patient who suffered the same affliction. Now the doctor is blind and so is his secretary and each of his patients. His wife however keeps her sight even as she joins her husband in a mass quarantine of people suddenly having been struck blind.

In the quarantine building, the blind are herded like cattle and kept like prisoners. The internal society starts off as expected, frightened but peaceful. Then chaos sets in. A despotic young man played by Diego Luna gets a hold of a weapon and takes the food hostage. He doles out rations in exchange for first jewelry and then sexual favors.

Meirelles observes these events with a bizarre distance, as if the chaos onscreen were an expression of his chaotic mindset. Even the director seems uncomfortable with the actions of his characters. This impression comes in the way Meirelles films the action through either too much darkness or too much light. If the director himself doesn't have the stomach for his action, how can he expect that of the audience?

This is the part of the review where I talk about the elements of the movie you might find most appealing beyond the premise and the technical creation that is the film. Unfortunately, Blindness is one of those rare movies where there really isn't anything appealing. Fernando Meirelles has crafted a thriller without thrills, a parable without underlying meaning. A sloppy, slow moving, dreary slog to a meaningless meandering ending.

What could I possibly recommend about that?

Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo are exceptionally talented people who no doubt were excited to work with a director of Meierelles' resume. That resume likely blinded them to the quality of Blindness, a mind numbing bore of a movie with less hope and exhilaration than even Eli Roth's lowest work. Rapes to murders to people defecating in the halls in service of a go nowhere plot, Blindness is a singularly horrific movie.

Movie Review: Flash of Genius

Flash of Genius (2009) 

Directed by Marc Abraham

Written by Phillip Railsback

Starring Greg Kinnear, Lauren Graham, Dermot Mulroney

Release Date October 3rd, 2009 

Published October 4th, 2009 

The story of Robert Kearns battle with Ford and the rest of the Detroit automakers is a classic David Vs Goliath story. Kearns invented the intermittent windshield wiper and then, as he was pitching his invention to the car companies, it was stolen. The specs for his invention were simply ripped off by execs at Ford who used them as a feature on their new line of Mustangs.

That was back in the mid 1960's. It wasn't until the early 80's that Kearns finally won a verdict against the auto companies. Turning Kearns' struggle into a movie director Marc Abraham and writer John Railsback have unfortunately cut more corners than the Ford company.

Greg Kinnear stars in Flash of Genius as Dr. Robert Kearns a professor of engineering. One day as he was driving his family home during a rain storm he had an epiphany. Why couldn't the car companies include a feature that would allow the windshield wipers to adjust to changing rain conditions. When he returned home he set to work on his wife's car.

Several months later Kearns cracked the secret and with the help of his best friend Gil Previck (Dermot Mulroney), a car dealer with connections in Detroit, he got a meeting at Ford. The engineers were impressed as was management. The hitch, Kearns wanted to manufacture the wipers himself. Ford agreed in principle but after Kearns submitted his specs to Washington for government safety tests, Ford pulled the plug.

Years later, as Kearns waits for another company to take an interest, he see's Ford's new Mustang and on a rainy night see's the wipers moving intermittently. Despite he and Gil holding the patents, Ford denies having met them and a years long battle for the credit and recognition of Robert Kearns invention begins.

Director Marc Abraham has a good story and a pitch perfect performance from Greg Kinnear to work with. Unfortunately, the script from John Railsback features more sappy cliches than there are features on a Ford car. Heavy on the melodrama, Kearns' home life with six kids and a beautiful wife played by Lauren Graham is where Flash of Genius finds it's biggest problems.

The home life plot clicks along hitting every cliche like clockwork. Graham moves slowly from supportive to nervous to ill to out the door. Kearns' oldest son moves in the same clockwork motion as mom until he is needed for an emotional boost in the third act.

Greg Kinnear commits himself fully to the role of Robert Kearns and infuses the role with a quiet, dignified passion. He gets the crazy eyes from time to time but always keeps it within reason. Kearns' own commitment is certainly questionable, especially after everyone in his life drops him, but Kinnear helps you over the most questionable moments by helping you believe why Kearns did what he did.

Dramatically, there are issues not just in the family story but in the legal one. A good deal of the case rides on a decision by Gil Previck not to testify on his friends behalf. I don't know how Gil Previck's story played out but here, the whole movie turns on him being selfish bastard and Robert Kearns remaining his friend. Huh? Then again, even as Ford was stealing from him, Kearns kept driving Fords.

I liked the fact that Flash of Genius is earnest in a very old Hollywood sort of way. There is no irony or distance from the material. The old Hollywood; one man against the world set up is a good one. However, the filmmakers commitment to old Hollywood cliches undermines much of the good in Flash of Genius. I really enjoyed Greg Kinnear's performance. Modest and understated in ways he never has been before, Kinnear nearly makes the whole thing work.

Sadly, the cliches and an overlong edit make Flash of Genius something of a slog.

Movie Review: Body of Lies

Body of Lies (2009) 

Directed by Ridley Scott 

Written by William Monahan 

Starring Russell Crowe, Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Strong, Oscar Isaac

Release Date October 10th, 2009 

Published October 9th, 2009

Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio. Two of the biggest stars in the world starring together in a movie. That's a big deal. So why doesn't it feel as big as it should be? Body of Lies is the movie, a CIA spook movie about middle eastern politics from director Ridley Scott. Is it as simple as Body of Lies being less than a great movie? Maybe. Or it could be that Crowe's heart isn't in and thus his star power shines less bright.

Roger Ferris is the CIA asset on the ground in the middle east. The intelligence he gathers is the most valuable of anything the CIA can gather. Ferris gets closer than any military on the ground ever could by blending into the background, speaking fluent arabic and finding just the right person to get him what he needs.

Back in Langley Virginia, Roger's handler is the head of Middle Eastern affairs Ed Hoffman (Russell Crowe). Ed uses high tech gadgets and insanely expensive satellite technology to track not just the world's leading terrorist but to pinpoint Roger himself from space. This technology is put to especially good use early on when Roger and a middle eastern co-hort investigate an Iraqi terrorist hideout and end up in a fire fight. The satellite image sends exact coordinates to attack helicopters that arrive just in time to save Roger and his latest intel.

This latest discovery is big and a plan is hatched using it to suss out the location of the world's most wanted terrorist other than Osama Bin Laden. The plan is ingenious and dangerous with a moral complication that will draw an important distinction between Roger and Ed and what they are willing to do to fight the war on terror.

Ridley Scott is a pro behind the camera. His work on the gritty, sun drenched streets and vast deserts of Iraq and the crowded dusty streets of Amman Jordan is impecable. Scott's action scenes are crisp and exciting, filled with energy and suspense. The trouble for Body of Lies comes from a script without an underlying idea.

There is a plot with a sound engine in DiCaprio's very active hero. However, one is at a loss to delineate the message of Body of Lies. What are the underlying politics. What other than some kick ass action scenes made Scott want to make this movie. The story cries out for a deeper meaning beyond the pale love story between DiCaprio and a Jordanian nurse and the father/prodigal son relationship between Crowe and DiCaprio.

The major hole in Body of Lies is Russell Crowe. The Oscar winner cuts an original, somewhat quirky character, an arrogant almost bumbling bureacrat. Unfortunately, there isn't really much behind the quirks. There is no real arc to the character. Crowe's Ed Hoffman begins as an arrogant jerk and ends an arrogant jerk. He learns no lesson, gets no comeuppance, not even a sharp sock to the jaw that the character so richly deserves.

That is unlike DiCaprio's Ferris who begins as a cold blooded terrorist killer and humanizes throughout. When the dangerous game begins to unfold Ferris is careful, cautious and thoughtful where Hoffman is impetuous and self aggrandizing. My comparison here is not without reason as late in the film Scott reveals what may be his missing thesis. These two men represent the two poles of American foreign policy.

The stretch is exceedingly thin as Crowe is portrayed as a bumbler who acts without thought while DiCaprio is heroic because he is deliberative and patient. The point is as heavy handed in Scott's one scene to lay it out as it is unseen throughout most of the movie. The one scene seems a last minute desperate attempt to give the action of Body of Lies a purpose beyond its series of action. It plays simply as hamhanded and desperate.

There is great work in this movie from Mark Strong as the head of Jordan security apparatus. He and DiCaprio go head to head and the battle of wills, the melding of egos and mutual respect gives their scenes weight. Strong is a heavy presence but he like Crowe and DiCaprio suffers for not having something deeper driving him, something beyond plot requirements.

There is too much good about Body of Lies to dismiss it. Scott is still a talented scenarist even with a thin story to tell. DiCaprio is an engaging hero and Crowe at the very least is charismatic, even on auto-pilot. Body of Lies has some tremendous action and spycraft and that is enough for me to recommend it for fans of big time action.

However, Body of Lies is a good movie that could have been, should have been great.

Movie Review: W

W. (2008) 

Directed by Oliver Stone 

Written by Stanley Weiser

Starring Josh Brolin, James Cromwell, Elizabeth Banks, Ellen Burstyn, Scott Glenn, Thandie Newton

Release Date October 17th, 2008

Published October 18th, 2008

The best satire that Oliver Stone could bring to his latest controversial effort, W., was to quote his subject accurately. President George W. Bush is as well known for his verbal gaffes as he is for his Bush doctine of pre-emptive war. Quoting the President accurately Stone gets unintentional humor from a situation that isn't really funny in context.

The first ever film biography of a sitting President, W. stars Josh Brolin as both the young brash alcoholic George Bush and the faithful man who fought to get out of his father's shadow and become first Governor of Texas and then President of the United States.

It's a performance of great humor, warmth and humanity that, though it will not change perceptions of the President, it will give even his most ardent critics a look at a man they might not have expected. Directed by Oliver Stone, W. cuts back and forth in time from a young George Bush at Harvard to a confident chief executive who makes gut decisions he believes in without second guessing himself.

If you are someone who believed that Dick Cheney pulled the strings behind the scenes you will be surprised how the President kept the man he refers to simply as Vice in line. Richard Dreyfuss captures the Vice President with a perfect Cheney sneer and without any hint of the mustache twirling villain that so many perceive him to be.

Jeffrey Wright has the most dramatic turn in the film. Playing General Colin Powell, Wright is the voice of reason on the war in Iraq. A good soldier who does his President's work at the UN but privately argued vigorously over the propriety of a pre-emptive war including a dramatic rendering of his "You break it, you bought" analogy to the Iraq war.

Thandie Newton earns some of the films biggest laughs as Condoleeza Rice without ever actually saying anything funny. Her exceptional impression of Rice's voice is both an impressive piece of mimickry and a very funny unintentional send up. Scott Glenn, Bruce McGill and Toby Jones round out the main cast with spot on takes on Donald Rumsfeld, George Tenet and Karl Rove respectively.

For those who presume W. is an attack on the President you likely can't be swayed. All I can tell you is what I believe and I believe that W. is relatively fair to the President even at its most satiric and biting. The best satire of President Bush is to quote him accurately and many of his most famous quotes are in the movie and get the biggest laughs. "Misunderestimate", "Strategery", "Fool me once shame on you Fool me twice.. you shouldn't fool people".

The best example of of Oliver Stone's fair appraisal of George W. Bush comes in the demonstration of the President's faith which is dealt with head on, without commentary. Stacey Keach is tremendous in the role of President Bush's spiritual advisor Earl Hudd.

The President turned his life around after being born again and it created in him the drive and determination to rise from a troubled youth to commander in chief. Oliver Stone observes the change without mocking, without commentary but with the same clear eyed take on faith that the President himself likely carries.

The most controversial aspect and the one with the most artistic licence is Stone's psychoanalytic approach to George W's relationship with his father, the man he calls Poppy. Stone portrays much of George W. Bush's life being driven by being in and trying to escape from George H.W Bush's shadow.

Whether the President has daddy issues is debatable but James Cromwell and Josh Brolin strike extraordinary chemistry in their father and son exchanges. The relationship is realistic if not historically accurate. It's also undeniably compelling and dramatic.

W. will not change anyone's position on President Bush, whose legacy is likely sealed with most of us. What it does is take the history of the Bush administration from insider accounts and public records and condense them into a believable ordering of history and in that is valuable,

That it is also quite humorous without trying is a byproduct of that history. President Bush's foibles are as much apart of the man as his faith and his father and Oliver Stone brings it all together with great artistry and craftsmanship.

Movie Review High School Musical 3

High School Musical 3 (2009) 

Directed by Kenny Ortega

Written by Peter Barsocchini 

Starring Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale, Lucas Grabeel

Release Date October 24th, 2009

Published October 25th, 2009

To criticize High School Musical 3 is not unlike disciplining a puppy. Sure he knocked over plants and a table, but he's so darn cute. You can't stay mad. High School Musical 3 didn't exactly knock over plants but it is exceptionally mediocre for such a nationwide phenomena.

Allow me to beat you to the punch. I am fully aware that this movie was not made with me in mind. High School Musical 3 exists specifically to entertain pre-teen girls. I get that. But, just because it may hit that target perfectly doesn't make it any less mediocre. Aww, puppy, I'm sorry.

Zac Efron from Hairspray stars in HSM3 as basketball star Troy Bolton. As we meet him, his team is losing the big game. However, there's no deficit that a big song and dance number cannot overcome. Thanks to a cameo from Troy's ethereal girlfriend Gabriela Vanessa Hudgens), angelic in flowing white and spotlight, Troy makes the big shot to tie the game and his team wins.

From there the focus shifts to the final big musical of the drama season for east high school seniors. Troy, Gabriela, Troy's buddy Chad (Corbin Bleu) and his girlfriend Taylor (Monique Coleman) are forced into the show by friendly, sweet drama nerd Kelsi (Oleysa Rulin). She needs her friends to avoid yet another all Sharpay show.

Sharpay Evans (Ashley Tisdale) along with her twin brother/choreographer Ryan (Lucas Grabeel) is the diva of the drama department. A clueless wannabe star, out only for her own glory, Sharpay provides what amounts to a plot as she schemes to get the big musical number away from Gabriela and get a kiss from Troy, even if it is just acting.

Don't worry, HSM3 was never going to let her get away with it. There is barely an ounce of plot in HSM3. This is a movie about kids singing their hearts out, with no room to build a believable storyline or provide characters with honest to goodness arcs. That might distract from soundtrack sales.

The fact is, the only reason we have HSM3 in theaters is because execs at Disney are still kicking themselves over giving away HSM2 on the Disney channel where 17 million tweens and teens tuned in to sing along. They weren't about to blow it this time and thus, with a little kick up the budget ladder, HSM3 arrives in all of its harmless, G-rated glory.

Here is my conundrum. On the one hand, it's nice that there is something so simple and sweet for kids to watch. Why there is nary even an advertisement in HSM3, kids actually use cellphones for their intended purpose, as phones. The movie exists in a wonderful tween/teen fantasyland where you wouldn't mind your kids residing for a little while.

On the other hand, as a movie, High School Musical 3 is supremely mediocre. The music has a higher sugar content than anything in the theater lobby while the non-musical scenes clunk about with lines like "My heart doesn't know it's in high school".

Look, I feel that any movie intended for my kids should aim a little higher. Aspire to be something more. Like Wall-E or The Incredibles or anything Pixar, aspire to more than just to stimulate the part of the brain that responds to cute people singing catchy tunes.

I don't want HSM3 to get all angst ridden and tortured over some major issue but how about at the very least jettisoning the disturbing stereotypes. The character of Chad played by Corbin Bleu is an african american who is never seen without a basketball under his arm.

Last summer's Hairspray broke barriers by being a bubbly musical and a lovely parable out race. The film had depth and still kept its high energy dance routines. At the very least, High School Musical could give us a storyline to invest in. But it doesn't. Instead, much like a puppy, it's all cuteness.

And who can really criticize a puppy. High School Musical is too harmless for me to trash it too much, or even not to recommend it. Parents are desperate for safe entertainment for their tween and teen kids and this is exactly what they are looking for. Why should I rain on the parade?

Take the kids and sing along to High School Musical 3.

Movie Review: Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2009) 

Directed by Kevin Smith

Written by Kevin Smith 

Starring Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Craig Robinson, Tracy Lords

Release Date October 31st, 2009

Published October 30th, 2009

The loquacious Kevin Smith is back with Zack and Miri Make Miri Make a Porno. For his first feature since 2006's Clerks sequel, Smith has ripped a page from the current king of comedy Judd Apatow. Stealing two of the Apatow repertory company, Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks, Smith goes for the same mix of foul mouthed maturity that Apatow has turned into a cash machine.

Zack (Seth Rogan) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks) have been friends since the first grade. Now nearing 30 they find themselves stranded together in go nowhere lives, living in an apartment they can barely afford in a sex free friend zone. When the power and water get shut off and it looks like they may be booted from their apartment, they need a cash money idea and they need it now.

Over a few beers and following a bizarre encounter with a gay porn star (Justin Long) at their high school reunion, Zack hits on an idea. Make a porn movie. Miri is dubious of the idea but with no idea of her own she allows Zack to convince her if he can find the cash to fund the production. Enter Zack's co-worker Delaney (Craig Robinson).

Delaney has money he saved up for a flat screen TV. When Zack tells him that producing a porno movie could double that amount, and that a producer has to handle auditions involving nudity, he jumps at the chance. Zack writes the script and a ragtag bunch including the impressively tumescent Lester (Jason Mewes), the aptly named Bubbles (Tracey Lords) and bubble headed stripper Stacey round out the cast for what will be a star wars themed porno movie.

Issues arise and force things in a different direction but the biggest surprise of the shoot for Zack and Miri is their reaction to their own love scene which uncovers feelings both have ignored for many, many years.

Kevin Smith directs Zack and Miri with his usual ear for tight, funny, foul mouthed dialogue. Zack and Miri may in fact be even more foul than usual for the master of the f-word laced invective. The curse per line average on Zack and Miri is enough to make the great Sam Peckinpah cringe. It works however because stars Steth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks treat the dialogue as completely second nature. An old hat sort of patter that only old friends could share. Best of all, it's not just foul, it's funny.

That said, Zack and Miri isn't without excess. The casting of Brandon 'Superman' Routh and Justin Long as a gay couple and a scene so filthy that some may have to leave the theater in disgust aren't funny and are really unnecessary. In the case of that truly disgusting scene, Smith is even clumsy in his dialogue, setting the scene twice and tipping his hand repeatedly. I appreciate the warning Kev but the scene was still unnecessary.

Seth Rogan has grown quickly into one of the most likable actors working today. Whether it's his foul mouthed teddy bear veneer or his real talent for dramatic moments, Rogan earns every inch of your sympathy and care even as he can repel some viewers, not me but some, with his overly energetic cursing. Rogan may be an unlikely romantic leading man in the classical sense but in the post irony era Rogan's obscenity laced sincerity is the picture of the modern romantic icon.

Working with a maestro dirty word, Kevin Smith who has made a career of mixing troubled romance with manchild curse-laden coming of age, Rogan is right at home. His ease puts the rest of the cast at ease as seen in Elizabeth Banks' awkward but sweet performance and Craig Robinson's cantankerously loving turn as Zack's other best friend.

Robinson's briefly glimpsed relationship with his wife (Tisha Campbell) reminds me of a quote I heard recently, a well known woman was asked about divorce and said "Have I thought of divorce? No. Murder yes, but not divorce.

Zach and Miri make a Porno is not Kevin Smith's strongest effort. The casting invokes way too much of Judd Apatow's oeuvre and the disturbing sex scenes often cross that barrier between hilarious and creepy. Nevertheless, few writers have Smith's ear for the way characters speak, the way they interact. The dialogue is so natural and so naturally funny that you can't help but get caught up in the fun.

Yes, you will likely walk out of Zack and Miri Make A Porno cursing up a storm, in a good way. Just wait till you  get back to the car to start dropping those F-bombs.

Movie Review The Boy in the Striped Pajamas

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (2009) 

Directed by Mark Herman

Written by Mark Herman 

Starring Asa Butterfield, David Thewlis

Release Date November 7th, 2009 

Published November 24th, 2009 

Is there a more heartbreaking idea for a movie than little children in concentration camps? No doubt, you are tearing up just thinking of it. The movie is called, get this, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. Try and keep it together till you actually see the movie you blubbery mess.

John Boyne wrote the book which quickly became a bestseller. Writer-director Mark Herman brings the story to the screen with the efficiency of any good mimic. His Boy in the Striped Pajamas benefits from the use of music and set design to leave the dreary dread that words can only hope to rise above when telling such a story.

Indeed, the early portions of The Boy In the Striped Pajamas are anything but dreary. 8 year old Bruno (Asa Butterfield) is a playful little guy with a great big imagination. He dreams of being an explorer as he flies about pretending to be a German spitfire plane, the war defining much of the play of children when your side is winning.

Bruno is hurt badly when his father (David Thewlis) announces that the family is moving to the country. Bruno will have to leave his friends behind. In the country there is little to do but hope that those people over in that strange, fenced-in farm, have kids to play with.

Though forbidden by his mother (Vera Farmiga) to go to that farm just through the forest behind their country home, the explorer in little Bruno won't let him miss out on the adventure. And, indeed there is one child there, Leon (Zac Mattoon O'Brien), who strangely wears striped pajamas all day and is dirty all the time.

Bruno begins escaping everyday to that 'farm' with its electrified fence and razor wire tops. Leon quickly becomes a good friend, though the fact that he is hungry all the time means Bruno has to sneak food out of the house everyday, not an easy task. It seems almost everyday that Leon cannot find another family member.

These scenes are treated with the innocent curiosity of an 8 year old and only your adult sense of impending doom keeps your soul from soaring with little Bruno as he makes a new friend and enjoys the pleasures that only someone so young and of such great imagination can enjoy.

That sense of impending doom however, begins as a pull in your throat. Soon it drops to your stomach like a rock and as the film sails inexorably to its devastating finish, it becomes full of nausea pushing that bilous rock back up your throat. All of the childlike innocence in little Bruno soon becomes a brickbat to the audience's collective gut.

Mark Herman's direction is not outstanding really. More, cruelly efficient, in a good way. He uses light hearted music cues and set design that set us at young Bruno's forced perspective. As he looks up at his Nazi uniformed father so do we. As he scuffles at the hem of his mother's dresses, so do we.

When we occasionally get away from Bruno's perspective on things it is only for important information such as Bruno's grandmother's reticent acceptance of her son's politics. To help us understand Bruno's confusion about the camps we are witness to a propaganda film that paints the camp as a pleasant little temporary getaway.

These scenes are like the clever asides of a sadist setting the stage for the beating to come. Indeed, the ending is a gut punch like you would not believe. It's not so much moving as revolting in the most necessary fashion. You should be revolted from time to time.

On the subject of the holocaust, what other reaction can there be but revulsion. Some will argue that Herman's use of children in his holocaust drama stinks of  manipulation. They're right. But in this case, the manipulation is poignant, purposeful and effective.

You are manipulated into remembering how, well... words fail to describe the horrors of the holocaust. And yes, you must be reminded. We all must be reminded. This is one case where history cannot be allowed to repeat itself. If getting emotionally punched in the gut is the most effective reminder, then put on a big boot and get to it.

The Boy In the Striped Pajamas is devastatingly effective filmmaking and a must see among an oncoming avalanche of high profile world war 2 movies this holiday season.

Movie Review JCVD

JCVD (2009) 

Directed by Mabrouk El Mechri 

Written by Frederic Benudis 

Starring Jean Claude Van Damme, Francois Damiens, Zinedine Soualem

Release Date November 7th, 2009

Published February 10th, 2010

Here's an idea. Take an international action hero movie star and drop him into a hostage situation. It could be the set up to one really dopey action comedy. Instead, this idea is turned on its ear and comes out a brilliant meta dark comedy in which Jean Claude Van Damme clears the deck of his entire career and unveils a ballsy, thoughtful, theatrical side that no one could have expected.

JCVD stars Van Damme as Van Damme. Having returned from Los Angeles after a losing custody battle over his daughter, Van Damme finds himself penniless in Brussels and needing quick cash. He has money waiting in a money transfer at the post office. Unfortunately for JCVD he walks in on a hostage situation.

Circumstances break so that Van Damme comes to be the suspect and not one of the victims. Meanwhile, we in the audience wait patiently for the Van Damme ass kicking that never comes. What we get instead is an introspective monologue of such tortured soul truthfulness it's impossible to tell where JCVD ends and the real Jean Claude begins.

JCVD is a stunner of ballsy self parody, of honest to god suspense and terrific indie filmmaking. The film comes from Belgian writer-director Mabrouk El Mechri who allegedly inherited the action comedy I mentioned earlier and rewrote the thing as a black comedy with some serious drama and suspense.

Not knowing much about Van Damme aside from tabloid stories about his divorces and drug habit it's difficult to say what about his real life he brought to JCVD but you can tell some of the stuff he talks about is pretty real and Van Damme feels every inch of it.

The naked desperation of Van Damme's performance married to the exceptional tone, strong plot logic turns JCVD from a meta inside joke into a rollicking good movie that happens to include some serious self-flagellation from a star who has seen better days in Hollywood.

I cannot praise Jean Claude Van Damme enough for this supremely brave and compelling performance. I'm sure having some real life motivation may have helped him plumb the depths a little easier but it still takes guts for an action hero to be so nakedly desperate and vulnerable.

The DVD cover quotes Time Magazine's review which said "He deserves not a black belt, but an Oscar". Hyperbole? Maybe. But that assessment is much more true than you imagine. Snicker all you want my hipster friends, Van Damme kicks ass in this movie. Give JCVD a chance and he will kick your ass too.

Movie Review: Four Christmases

Four Christmases (2008) 

Directed by Seth Gordon 

Written by Jon Lucas, Scott Moore, Matt R. Allen, Caleb Wilson, 

Starring Vince Vaughn, Reese Witherspoon, Mary Steenburgen, Jon Favreau, Tim McGraw, Sissy Spacek

Release Date November 26th, 2008 

Published November 27th, 2008

It's just not that funny. I watch and I want to laugh. I feel for that tickle at the back my throat. I try and force it a few times. It just doesn't come. You know why? Because, Four Christmases starring Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon just isn't funny. The trailer was funny. I laughed a few times during the two and a half minute teaser.

I watched the movie, nothing. No laugh. Not even a chuckle. I sighed deeply once and it could have been mistaken as a laugh. But no. The movie isn't funny.

Brad (Vaughn) and Kate (Witherspoon) have been together for three years with no want for marriage or children. They really aren't keen on family at all. Thus why every Christmas they lie to their families and escape to some exotic isle. This year, they are off to Fiji until weather grounds their plane and they are captured on TV being forced to stay in country.

Plot forces require that each of four parents, now all separated, see the same news report and press the guilt button. Each parent will be visited and each will bring about a new kind of torture.

Robert Duvall and Sissy Spacek are Vaughn's parents while Mary Steenburgen and Jon Voight act as Witherspoon's sires. Each offers opportunities for laughs and yet none provide. Director Seth Gordon assigns each of these legendary performers a personality but forgets to offer any plot assistance.

Duvall is a bully, as are the assigned brothers Jon Favreau and Tim McGraw, randomly assigned as cage fighters. Are you laughing yet? Spacek is a space cadet who has married again to one of Brad's friends (Patrick Van Horn in a 'hey that guy was in Swingers' cameo'). Are you laughing now? How about if mom and new boyfriend repeatedly mention their sex life? Nothing?

Steenburgen, as Witherspoon's Kate warns us, is a cougar. She immediately is welcoming to Brad, willing to humiliate her daughter to make Brad ever more uncomfortable. Ha! No. Yeah, me neither. What if I throw in the fact the cougar mom is also a jesus freak and is dating a pastor played by Dwight Yoakam? What if the pastor forces Brad and Katie to play Mary and Joseph in a church pageant? Still nothing?

Finally there is Jon Voight who apparently said no to his assigned persona. Instead Voight plays benign presence to play against the craziness of everyone else. It works only to highlight the irritating, over the top absurdity of the other characters. But atleast Voight doesn't embarrass himself, which is I'm guessing, his goal for this role.

Seth Gordon is a comedically tone deaf director who pays off would be jokes two minutes before they actually happen. Truly, if you cannot see these 'jokes before they actually happen you may be having a stroke, seek medical help. Predictability is a sin that few can be forgiven for. I expect it from say, The Transporter where I would be disappointed if Jason Statham didn't drive fast and blow stuff up good.

I doubt the makers of Four Christmases put even that much thought into making this movie. They merely manufactured an idea. Cut characters out of a book of personality traits, filmed them and assembled them in number order. Whether the result was funny or even modestly amusing not so much a concern as getting the Christmas set film into theaters by the holidays to capitalize on tired, turkey and shopping attled masses seeking mindless distraction.

Say, I can recommend this movie. If you are in a tryptophan coma or blinded by the blue light special, Four Christmases is playing in a theater where you can sit in peace and quiet and not be bothered for 90 minutes.

Movie Review: Australia

Australia (2008) 

Directed by Baz Luhrmann

Written by Baz Luhrmann 

Starring Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman, David Wenham, Bryan Brown 

Release Date November 26th, 2008

Published November 25th, 2008 

The modern audience is often accused of having a short attention span. It's undeniable of course that with half hour television and now bite size internet videos, the modern audience has shown a taste for constant stimulation. But that fact does not mean that a movie of a good length cannot succeed. I point you to Paul Thomas Anderson's Magnolia which floats through 3 hours without ever loosing its grip on the audience.

If you have seen a double feature of Tarentino's Kill Bill, which clocks in at nearly 4 hours you know the power a great movie has to glue you to your seat. The modern attention span isn't the issue, it's the modern epic. The fact is, too often, these 'epics' are not lengthy with a purpose but lengthy due to directorial indulgence. That is most certainly the case with Baz Luhrmann's 'epic' Australia. An at times exceptional display of visual craftsmanship. Australia overstays its welcome with 3 different endings and dangling subplots.

Australia stars Nicole Kidman as Lady Sarah Ashley, a British aristocrat who comes to Australia to retrieve her husband who moved down under months earlier to make money in the cattle business. Convinced he has taken up with another woman, Lady Ashley plans on selling the cattle interest and taking her husband back to England.

Sadly, upon arriving at the ranch, called Faraway Downs, she finds her husband murdered, allegedly by an aboriginal mystic named King George. On the other hand she finds that the cattle biz is for real and with an evil land Barron named King Karney looking to steal her land for a quarter of what its worth, Lady Ashley decides to stay on and garner the profit herself.

To do so she will have to drive the cattle to the coastal town of Darwin. Thus she hires the rough and tumble Drover (Hugh Jackman) to lead the way. He needs help and doesn't have it. Aside from two aboriginal friends, there is a drunk accountant, two maids and Lady Ashley herself whose experience riding show horses is her only qualification.

Then there is Nullah. Half white, half black, 11 year old Nullah (Brandon Walters) lives in constant danger. The state has a policy of rounding up mixed race children so that they can 'breed the black out of them' and train them to be servants. Nullah has lived at Faraway Downs in secret for years after being born to a maid and a ranch hand named Fletcher (David Wenham).

Fletcher works for King Carney and cannot afford to have anyone know he fathered a mixed race child. All of this melodrama unfolds in the foreground as World War 2 emerges in the background. In newsreels and conversations we overhear Germany's march, Hitler's call for Japan to join the war and the attack on Pearl Harbor that will soon lead to attacks on the Australian mainland where Americans begin arriving for an assault on Japan.

It's a sprawling, ambitious story that director Baz Luhrmann no doubt loves. It's also a flabby, unkempt mess of competing plots that amount to three different movies forced together. The first movie, playing out as act 1, is a tribute to old Hollywood, just after the introduction of color. Luhrmann uses CGI to give Australia the coloring of a movie made in the 1930's. The effort may dazzle lovers of classic film. But, modern audiences are likely to mistake the look for bad CGI.

At the death of Lady Ashley's husband Australia becomes a gripping western. The cattle drive scenes are the movies best moments with Jackman looking quite the hero, Brandon Walters delivering the compelling drama and Kidman holding her own in the saddle. Had Australia stuck with the western aspect, with a tighter narrative focus, we could be talking about a pretty good movie.

Unfortunately, the western is merely the second act. The third act brings World War 2 and Australia's disturbing racial politics into to the forefront and begins to drift. Trained moviegoers know that the 3rd act requires the lovers to separate and for good to turn to bad so that it can be righted in the end and Australia delivers it all in rote, mind numbing fashion.

Oh, did I mention that the film ends THREE TIMES! There are two false endings. Two spots where director Luhrmann could have ended the movie with a minimum of consternation. But no. Two endings stall and start and stall again only to drive one to the point of walking out by starting up one more time. I get what the director was going for but by the second ending I was almost to the door of the theater.

Australia is likely a case of too many cooks in the kitchen. Four screenwriters contribute to a movie that feels like three movies in both length and structure. It is rumored that Luhrmann only completed the final edit of Australia 2 weeks prior to worldwide release. That might explain the rushed necessity of a 2 hour 45 minute cut of a story that can only sustain maybe 2 hours, at most.

Tedious, overlong, flabby, Australia has the look of an epic and the feeling of a butt numbing disaster.

Movie Review: Transporter 3

Transporter 3 (2008) 

Directed by Olivier Megaton

Written by Luc Besson, Robert Mark Kamen 

Starring Jason Statham, Natalya Rudakova 

Release Date November 26th, 2008

Published November 27th, 2008

Memo to the producers of the upcoming Cannonball Run remake (I know you're out there): if you haven't already made Jason Statham an exorbitant offer to appear in your movie, don't bother making it. No, The Transporter is not exactly an iconic character on which makes such great demands. But, the Transporter movies having made a few hundred million combined at the worldwide box office, the character has earned enough cultural cache to deserve to be a one off punchline in a throwaway remake. It's the least you could do.

Yes Transporter fans (I know your out there, put down the Grand Theft Auto for a moment) Frank Martin is back. Who the hell is Frank Martin? He's the Transporter. Nevermind. He's Jason Statham in the Transporter movies. Nevermind. He's the bullet headed guy who beats people up and drives fast. You're really making this too difficult.

Back behind the wheel of his newest edition Audi, Frank Martin has a new 'package' to deliver. Her name is Valentina (Natalya Rudakova) and she is the daughter of the head of the Russian equivalent of the EPA. The russkie dad doesn't want to let some American industrialist park nuclear waste in his back yard so the industrialist has thugs kidnap the russkies' daughter and give her to Frank.

Why Frank? Who knows. She is a hostage? Yes. Why don't they just hold on to her until they get what they want? Because then we couldn't have cool car chases and scenes where Jason Statham beats people up for asking such questions about this ludicrous plot.

Anyway, before I so rudely interrupted myself with unwelcome logic, Frank will drive the girl across Europe to Asia. If he doesn't do as he is told he will blow up. He was drugged and had a bracelet attached that will go boom if he gets 75 feet away from his car. No points for guessing that that whole 75 feet from the car thing will come back in the final face off with the bad guys.

The Transporter 1,2 and now 3 are not about logic. If they were then Frank wouldn't have been so surprised to find his package is a beautiful woman, as has been the case in each of the other Transporter movies. Logically? Pattern recognition might kick in and Frank would consider moving somewhere where people don't know where he lives and thus can't drug him and place exploding bracelets on him.

Logically.

But this isn't about logic, coherence or even a movie. It's about stunts and lots of them. Frank jumps a car off of a bridge and uses James Bond's classic underwater tire breathing trick. Later, Frank drives that water logged car off an over pass and on to the top of a moving train. Later, still on the train, he jumps the car from one car through the roof of another one.

Who needs logic when you don't give a rats ass for even the basics of physics.

It reads as if I hated Transporter 3. I didn't. It's not bad as far as cheap thrills go. I'm generally not a 'turn off your brain' kind of guy. However, catch me in the right mood and I can be forgiving of even the most illogic of leaps. Transporter caught me in just one of those moods and I found myself smiling my way through much of the blasted ludicrousness.

I particularly enjoyed the work of French actor Francois Berleand as Frank's French cop pal. As the only character who seems to remember having been through this before his nonchalant attitude toward Frank's astonishing acts is charming. He is either bored or simply unimpressed with his old friend's antics and his manner is quite amusing in the brief glimpses of him we get in between the driving and the beatings.

Transporter 3 was directed by someone  named Olivier Megaton. The explosive name is a fake, for those you with zero cognitive activity. He bestowed the moniker on himself to describe his audacious style. He may well have only got this gig based on that name. That he delivered big explosions is only him living up to the promise of his name. His next film should just be called 'Explosion'. As demonstrated in Transporter 3, he needs not a plot, just pyrotechnics and he can dazzle the willing masses.

Again, I implore you Cannonball Run producers, a cameo or even a starring role. Either works. Just make sure he drives an Audi A1 and gets to beat on someone. It's comic gold. You'll thank me later.

Movie Review: Cadillac Records

Cadillac Records (2008)

Directed by by Darnell Martin

Written by Darnell Martin

Starring Adrien Brody, Jerffrey Wright, Gabrielle Union, Columbus Short 

Release Date December 5th, 2008 

Published December 12th, 2008

Without Muddy Waters there is no Mick Jagger, there are no Rolling Stones. The hardest working band in Rock N' Roll heard Muddy Waters when they were just passing puberty and were so effected by it that their whole lives have been shaped by the experience.

Thus the extraordinary influence of a man and a genre of music that has too long gone unnoticed. Cadillac Records is a far from perfect tribute that comes up short of truly honoring the history the history of Chess Records and the Blues but as a reminder of it does an effective job of getting your attention and making you at least hear the music.

Leonard Chess (Oscar winner Adrian Brody) was a Chicago nightclub owner whose club mysteriously burned to the ground leaving him just enough insurance money to build a recording studio and found a record label. Having just met and heard Muddy Waters (Geoffrey Wright) and his protege Little Walter (Columbus Short) for the first time, I'm sure the fire was just a coincidence.

Chess got Muddy and Walter in the studio and with a little grease for the local DJ's, Chess Records started making big money. The nickname Cadillac Records because instead of paying his artists royalties, early on, he gave them Caddies paid for with their royalty money.

From there Chess went on to discover Howlin Wolf (Eammon Walker), Willie Dixon (Cedric The Entertainer), Etta James (Beyonce) and his most famous find Chuck Berry (Mos Def). After introducing the actors and the artists they portray we are treated to a song or two some manufactured melodrama and then it's over. Say this for Cadillac Records, it's efficient and to point.

The pre-packaged drama is as weak as I imply but director Darnell Martin smartly doesn't dwell on it to much, Martin knows where the bread of Cadillac Records is buttered, it's all about the tunes. Geoffrey Wright, Beyonce and Mos Def sing these indelible classics themselves and the performances capture the passion of live performance like few music movies have.

This is powerful stuff and though many will be distracted by Beyonce's celebrity, all reservations about her taking on the role of Etta James will be alleviated when her performance of "I'd Rather Go Blind" is belted out through tears and deep, deep subtext.

Mos Def gives the film a jolt of joy as the ebulliant Chuck Berry. The irreverent, duck walking Berry is the perfect role for Mos Def an actor who does childlike joy and mischief like few other actors working today. Even portraying the darkest moments of Berry's life, Mos Def captures the roll with the punches style that has sustained Berry to this day.

Cadillac Records is not the tribute that people like Muddy Water, Etta James or Leonard Chess deserves, not to mention Chess' brother who was shamefully left out of the movie over life rights issues, he's still alive, but it is a solid reminder of these legends collective greatness and it gives us a chance to hear these songs again.

That alone is worth the price of admission.

Movie Review: Doubt

Doubt (2008) 

Directed by John Patrick Shanley 

Written by John Patrick Shanley 

Starring Meryl Streep,, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams

Release Date December 12h, 2008

Published January 5th, 2008 

I did not attend Catholic School but some of my favorite people have and the experience shaped their lives. The most famous example is George Carlin whose catholic school experience fostered the rebellious spirit that would lead comic explications of the churches and indeed religions many failings.

Doubt, the film version of John Patrick Shanley's stage play, displays catholic school as it was just after Carlin left. Set in 1963 we witness the clash of 50's parochialism and the mind expanding 60's and the result is surprisingly fair to both sides. If you believe completely in the discipline of the 50's or subscribe entirely to the freedom of the 60's you will leave this movie with doubts.

Meryl Streep stars in Doubt as Sister Aloysius the principle of a New York catholic school in flux. The school has its first african american student, Donald Miller (Joseph Foster), and the parish home of the school has a priest. He is father Flynn (Philip Seymour Hoffman) and his approach to catholicism and to the school is open minded and compassionate.

The approach rankles Sister Aloysisus who believes in fear as the best teacher and motivator. The interesting thing is that both approaches really have merits. In fact both are demonstrated by Sister James (Amy Adams). Caught in the middle of the changing times, Sister James is an example of the balance that could be struck if both sides weren't so intransigent.

The plot of Doubt centers on Father Flynn's relationship with Donald Miller. He immediately takes the boy under his wing. Donald is an alter boy and I know your mind has already jumped to a particular conclusion. Sister James and Sister Aloysius jump to the same conclusion only Sister Aloysius is certain of her suspicions, Sister James is conflicted.

When Father Flynn is confronted about these suspicions the scenes are explosive and Doubt becomes a fiery, passionate battle of wills. Streep and Hoffman are perfectly cast as two willful personalities incapable of conceding. In Father Flynn's case conceding is inconceivable not just because he is willful but because of what conceding means.

For Sister Aloysius self doubt is a sin. Her life is lived in service of a belief. When she comes to believe her suspicions about Father Flynn she cannot allow herself to be proven wrong. To be wrong would be as if to prove God himself were wrong.

Streep is cast as the villanous in much of the press about Doubt. In reality her Sister Aloysius is just a fervent defender of what she believes and if you concede that she has something to be worried about in Father Flynn's relationship with her students then you must sympathize with her even if her severity is off putting.

Shanley doesn't aim to make Doubt a mystery. There are no gotcha moments. You will likely leave the theater debating Father Flynn's guilt as much as you talk about whether you liked the movie. I will keep my thoughts to myself on the matter. If you want to talk about it off the blog where spoilers can be shared, please email.

Doubt is one of the best movies of 2008. A powerful, thought provoking and moving drama that has numerous levels to its drama and passion. Meryl Streep will win and deserve to win Best Actress for her role. The greatest actress of her time has once again shown why she is worth such hyperbolic praise.

Movie Review: The Tale of Despereaux

The Tale of Despereaux (2009) 

Directed by Sam Fell, Rob Stevenhagen

Written by Gary Ross

Starring Matthew Broderick, Emma Watson, Dustin Hoffman, Robbie Coltrane

Release Date December 19th, 2008

Published December 22nd, 2008

The Tale of Despereuax is a Newberry award winning children's book now transported to the big screen. You know how they say the book is always better than the movie? I've never read The Tale of Despereaux but I am willing to bet it's better than the snoozefest movie version.

Matthew Broderick gives voice to Despereaux a mouse who is very different than the rest. Mice are supposed to cower in fear and run from... everything. Not Despereaux. His days are spent reading books about knights and bravery and being a gentleman and saving princesses and this has given him the courage to be more than just another mouse.

Searching the castle where his family and friends live under the stairs, Despereaux meets Princess Pea (Emma Watson). The sad young princess takes a shine to the brave little mouse who makes it his quest to turn things around in the sad kingdom.

A dark cloud has hung over the country since the Queen died. She died during the annual soup festival when a rat dropped into her soup and scared her to death. That rat was Roscuro (Dustin Hoffman) who now lives in the sub basement with a group of disgusting scavenging rats lead by  Botticelli (Ciaran Hinds). Roscuro lives everyday hoping he could someday apologize to the princess.

If that sounds like a pretty big downer well, it plays like one. Despereaux the character is fun but the sadness around him and the gloom topped off with some serious weirdness; that includes a character made entirely of vegetables, makes The Tale of Despereaux depressing and off putting.

This is one exceptional voice cast from Broderick to Hoffman to Sigourney Weaver as the soft toned narrator. But the best voicework in the world cannot rescue a story that is as unpleasant as the vermin who make up the cartoon cast.

Movie Review: Yes Man

Yes Man (2008) 

Directed by Peyton Reed 

Written by Nicholas Stoller, Jarrad Paul, Andrew Mogel 

Starring Jim Carrey, Zooey Deschanel, Bradley Cooper, John Michael Higgins

Release Date December 19th, 2008 

Published December 18th, 2008 

In Liar Liar Jim Carrey played a lawyer who could not tell a lie. This, naturally, lead to a number of awkward situations that allowed Carrey to whip himself into a comic frenzy. Now in his latest feature Jim Carrey plays a loan officer who must say yes to everything. If you think this premise allows Carrey to once again whip himself into a wild comic frenzy, you may as well skip the rest of this review. I'm kidding, please keep reading.

Carl has been a sadsack since his wife left him 3 years ago. He rarely leaves his apartment and when he does it is just to rent videos. His best friend Peter (Bradley Cooper) is getting married and expects him to be there for him but even his best pal can't drag him out his funk.

It is not until he attends a self help seminar, at the urging of a strange former acquaintance, Nick (John Michael Higgins), that Carl finally comes out of his shell. The seminar is hosted by Terrence Bundley (Terrence Stamp) whose schtick is getting people to say yes to every opportunity.

With some further prodding from Nick, Carl says yes to giving a homeless man a ride miles out the way. The homeless guy uses up Carl's cell battery and the drive runs him out of gas. However, while filling a gas can Carl meets Allison (Zooey Deschanel). They have instant chemistry and Carl finds the yes to everything strategy could have some real perks.

From there we get a series of scenes that allow Jim Carrey to act more and more goofy and have more and more good things happen to him. That is until, the predictable scene where saying yes finally gets Carl in trouble. A valuable lesson in moderation will be learned while Carrey all the while flips and flops about in search of laughs.

To be fair, Carrey finds plenty of laughs in Yes Man. The guy is a natural comic talent who can't help but stumble into laughs and Yes Man is a movie designed specifically to play into Carrey's strengths. Each scene gives Carrey reason to launch into some kind of comic riff. Some of them are laugh out loud, some, like a Harry Potter themed costume party, lay there in search of a punchline.

The structure of Yes Man may play to Carrey's strengths but the choppy, predictable narrative is in the end terribly unsatisfying. A series of set ups and punchlines fail to serve as a character arc or really a story. There is romantic chemistry between Carrey and Zooey Deschanel but that too is undercut by the lack of a compelling narrative.

Funny in bursts but short one compelling story, Yes Man is a movie for hardcore Carrey fans and no one else.

Movie Review: Did You Hear About the Morgan's?

Did You Hear About The Morgans? (2009) 

Directed by Marc Lawrence 

Written by Marc Lawrence

Starring Hugh Grant, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sam Elliott, Mary Steenburgen, Elisabeth Moss

Release Date December 18th, 2009

Published December 18th, 2009

Hugh Grant's usual charm combines with Sarah Jessica Parker doing a variation on her Sex and the City persona to craft an overly familiar romantic comedy in the uninspired “Did You Hear About the Morgans?” Directed by Marc Lawrence, this witless fish out of water story invites more scorn than it deserves as it limps to its conclusion.

The Morgans, Meryl (Parker) and Paul (Hugh Grant), split up several months ago. Paul cheated while on a business trip and Meryl rightly gave him the boot. Paul, despite his one time indiscretion, wants desperately to get his wife back or, at the very least, have dinner with her. When Meryl finally relents the two have an exceptionally awkward dinner followed by a walk in the rain that seems only to divide them further.

Unfortunately for both Morgans the walk ends with them witnessing a murder and, having got an up close look at the killer, they are now prime witnesses in a major murder case. How major? The feds want the Morgans in witness relocation. Over their repeated objections the Morgans are soon on a plane for Ray Wyoming a town that would comprise about two blocks of New York City.

The Morgans are welcomed by their new protectors, the town Sheriff Clay (Sam Elliott) and his deputy and wife Emma (Mary Steenburgen). Let the fish out of water fun commence! If by fun you mean listening to Meryl complain about everything that is not New York and watching Paul attempt to charm a grizzly bear into not eating him.

”Did You Hear About the Morgans?” was a bad movie from the moment that writer-director Marc Lawrence chose the hoary conceit that is witness protection. The ‘been there-done that’ factor of witness protection comedies is off the chart. Only the least inventive of filmmakers would attempt to plumb these depths. Then again, Marc Lawrence did write the script for both Miss Congeniality movies.

I could sit here and take potshots at “Did You Hear About the Morgans?” all day, that would be easy. The fact is, however, that even with the ancient plot device the film is somewhat pleasant in tone and Hugh Grant can still bring it even in the weakest, most familiar of roles. Yes, he could play Paul in his sleep and launch the same self-deprecating jibes but you will laugh at them.

You won't laugh loud, long or all that much but you will laugh and smile a few times during “Did You Hear About the Morgans?” Grant is a star whose ability to poke fun at himself seems an endless well of material. That said, the whole of “Did You Hear About the Morgans?” remains stale, predictable and not worth the price of a theater ticket.

Movie Review: Alvin and The Chipmunks Squeakquel

Alvin and The Chipmunks Squeakquel (2009) 

Directed by Betty Thomas 

Written by Jon Vitti, Jonathan Aibel, Glenn Berger 

Starring David Cross, Jason Lee, Justin Long, Zachary Levi

Release Date December 23rd, 2009

Published December 22nd, 2009

2007's Alvin and the Chipmunks was an ugly exercise in low humor that had no business appealing to our children but succeeded thanks to the laziness of American parents, those unyielding masses who refuse to check what they expose their children to. That inability to nip the Chipmunks in the bud after one movie has lead to a second film, not so cleverly dubbed 'The Squeakquel.'

So, now the Chipmunks are back and somehow I am not clawing my eyes out. Don't misunderstand, I still am not willing to recommend the experience of these CGI rodents latest adventure but under the middling talents of director Betty Thomas The Squeakquel is far superior to the execrable original.

As we rejoin the Chipmunks they are still huge international stars performing sold out shows in front of screaming teenagers. Naturally, Alvin (voice of Justin Long) remains his mischievous self, vamping for the crowd and generally calling attention to himself ahead of all else. Alvin's antics at a benefit concert in Paris get really out of control and lead to his adoptive dad Dave (poor, poor Jason Lee) nearly being crippled by an Alvin sign. 

With Dave laid up in Paris for a while the boys are sent home to the care of their Aunt Jackie (Kathryn Joosten) until she too is laid up by accident, this one involving her layabout nephew Toby (Zachary Levi). This leaves Toby to care for Alvin, Simon (voice of Matthew Gray Gubler) and Theodore (Jesse McCartney) as they go off to school for the first time.

Yes, the Chipmunks are going to High School where they will encounter bullies, sports and most importantly girls and not just any girls, oh no dear reader, the Chipettes. Brittany (Christina Applegate), Jeanette (Anna Faris) and Eleanor (Amy Poehler) are talking female Chipmunks who also happen to be talented singers. Unfortunately, the girls are under the control of the nefarious record exec Ian (David Cross) who plots to use the girls to gain revenge on the Chipmunks (Ian was the villain of the first film, for those who were not aware).

All things come to a head, naturally, at a singing competition and charity performance that pits the Chipmunks vs. the Chipettes. Meanwhile, Alvin's ego after joining a popular click puts the boys performance in jeopardy. Can the Chipmunks overcome the odds to win the contest? Will Alvin learn a valuable lesson about family, loyalty and respect? Do you really give a damn?

There is only one question an adult should be asking themselves about a movie like Alvin and the Chipmunks and that is : Will it somehow corrupt my children? The simple answer is no, it will not. Though I find the film to be another dreary example of the decline of children's entertainment, Alvin is mostly inoffensive.

The very typical, simpleminded value reinforcement that is Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel is just the kind of mild, forgettable distraction that works to anesthetize children for 80 minutes without turning them into murderers or thieves, a condition I honestly do believe involves exposure to lesser forms of entertainment like the previous Alvin and the Chipmunks movie.

Director Betty Thomas has never been a great director but she is a professional and far more caring than the director of the first film who shall remain unnamed by me (It's not really a protest, I just don't feel any inclination to actually seek the name of the director of Alvin and the Chipmunks, really if you care to know, why are you reading this.) Thomas, at the very least makes this Alvin and the Chipmunks one that doesn't make me want to vomit, that's something.

Ms. Thomas even made this film a charitable event. Making cameos in Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel are a version of the wonderful Save the Music Foundation, a group dedicated to keeping the arts in school, and Toys for Tots, a tremendous organization that gives free toys to poor children.

Exposing these two groups in a major studio blockbuster damn near makes the mess of Alvin and the Chipmunks worth it. I still cannot recommend the film, especially while it competes with far superior family entertainment like Princess and the Frog and The Blind Side. However, for those so inclined to see Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel you won't be offended and your kids will likely have forgotten about it by next week. That's really the best anyone can ask of this budding franchise.

Movie Review It's Complicated

It's Complicated (2009) 

Directed by Nancy Meyers 

Written by Nancy Meyers 

Starring Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, Steve Martin, John Krasinski 

Release Date December 25th, 2009

Published December 25th, 2009

Director Nancy Meyers has cornered the market in romantic comedies exploring the love lives of older women and the flawed men who love them. She created the template with her “Something’s Gotta Give.” Now with “It’s Complicated” starring the radiant Meryl Streep, Meyers has perfected her easy going formula romance.

Streep stars as Jane, a 50-something divorcee preparing for her last child to leave the nest. Meanwhile, she is still dealing with her divorce some ten years later. Her ex-husband Jerry (Alec Baldwin) left her for a much younger woman (Lake Bell in a thankless, under-written villain role) but remains a part of her life.

On a trip to New York for the graduation of her son, Jane finds herself alone in a bar with Jerry when some of the old sparks flare up. The two end up in bed together and at the beginning of, no kidding, an affair. Jane is cheered on in the affair by her circle of girlfriends, including Rita Wilson, Mary Kay Place and Alexandra Wentworth, who love the idea of her getting a little revenge on the younger woman.

As the affair heats up Jane finds another opportunity for romance in Allan (Steve Martin). He is her architect, planning a new kitchen for her already fabulous home. The way he seems to know everything she wants sparks first a friendship and then a romance that is threatened by her dalliance with Jerry and Jerry’s growing new love for his old flame.

The title offers the idea that these two romances will offer something ‘complicated’ but there is nothing much complicated at all in Nancy Meyers’ very simple, straight-forward narrative that sets characters on very particular paths and leads them to easy conclusions and warm, easygoing laughs.

“It’s Complicated” is formula romance in the best possible fashion. It does not reinvent the genre but it does deliver the formula in such a charming fashion that you eagerly forgive the familiarity. The goodwill stems from a cast filled with charmers and led by the legendary Meryl Streep.

It is one of the more remarkable stories of the decade; how Meryl Streep has evolved from respected actress to respected box office superstar. At an age where other actresses are searching for work, Streep has become a bigger star than she was when she was repeatedly being nominated for the industry’s highest awards.

“It’s Complicated” will likely join “Mamma Mia” and “The Devil Wears Prada” as massive hits and it is due to Streep’s wonderfully relaxed star power. Her ease with every role allows audiences to settle in with her, their sympathies won over by Streep’s mere presence. While the appeal is fairly limited to women in her age range, it is quite a thing that she has brought so many of them to the box office.

Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin provide ideal foils for Ms. Streep’s radiance. Baldwin hasn’t been this winning on the big screen since his role as a fallen star in David Mamet’s “State and Main.” As for Martin, he continues to cultivate the sensitive good guy persona he copped in the otherwise execrable “Shopgirl.”

“It’s Complicated” is formula romance done right. Played out with style and professionalism by a terrific set of leads, “It’s Complicated” is the perfect balance of romance and comedy for empty nesters searching for a movie just for them.

Movie Review: The Soloist

The Soloist (2009) 

Directed by Joe Wright 

Written by Susannah Grant 

Starring Robert Downey Jr, Jamie Foxx, Catherine Keener, Tom Hollander

Release Date April 24th, 2009 

Published April 23rd, 2009 

The sound of Beethoven played oddly but beautifully on a violin with just two strings echoed through the stone and steel canyons of Los Angeles and altered the life of journalist Steve Lopez forever. That is the very simply, very basic premise of The Soloist which accumulates the sum of Lopez's real life experiences on the big screen.

In The Soloist Robert Downey Jr plays Steve Lopez as a wounded soul. Literally wounded, when we meet him his is soon flat on his back with an ugly road rash following a bike accident. Subsequently, writing a column about his accident earns Steve the requisite sympathy of his readers and a day of peace from his editor/ex-wife playewd Catherine Keener.

The sympathy lasts about a day before he needs a new story to keep the wolves at bay, The Soloist is set in 2005 but reflects the modern newspaper business. Lopez finds his next big story in Nathaniel Anthony Ayers Jr (Jamie Foxx) a street musician battling schizophrenia. Encountering Nathaniel playing a two string violin and hearing him mention something about Julliard, Lopez's reporter instints are awakened.

Indeed, Nathaniel did attend Julliard in 1970 but dropped out when mental illness began to take hold. The story Lopez writes inspires people wanting to help Nathaniel. One older woman sends along her old Cello for Lopez to give to Nathaniel. This keeps Steve returning to Nathaniel's life and slowly finding himself compelled to take responsibility for him even as he himself is not one who has been successful with relationships of any kind.

Directed by Joe Wright, Oscar nominated for Atonement, The Soloist tends to underline points a little too much. With Steve's bike accident one can infer the hand of the director placing Steve's scarred emotional state on Steve's face to make sure we get a visual of how Steve feels inside, scarred.

Much of Jamie Foxx's Nathaniel act is pitched to the classic magic negro stereotype. That is the type where a salt of the earth black man helps a well off white man learn a valuable lesson. That may be a little simple and slightly unfair given the non-fiction nature of The Soloist but it is no less there.

Jamie Foxx does his best to fight off the typicalities of the stereotype role and I did love his commitment to showing Nathaniel's tortured psyche and how music briefly chased away the voices but, as I said, Director Joe Wright cannot resist underlining even the most well communicated point or unceasing cliche and Foxx is undercut by that approach.

The Soloist is for the most part about Robert Downey Jr. and his continuing to grow as a star. Downey has always been talented but as he showed in Iron Man, Downey has that kind of 'what will he do next' charisma that makes you want to follow his next move.

The Steve Lopez played by Downey doesn't need road rash to communicate his wounded soul. Downey conveys psychic wound with effortless ease. Watch Downey resist Foxx's Nathaniel. Watch him sense a good story but have to force himself to remain only an observer and how that approach has hampered each and every relationship in his life.

So much of what Downey does is not in the screenplay but rather in his manner, in his eyes. One is left to wonder if Joe Wright saw what I saw or not. Judging from the way Wright underlines even the quiet, subtle moments of Downey's performance, I guess not.

The Soloist is in many ways exceptional, especially in the performance of Robert Downey Jr, but the proceedings are too often bogged down by Joe Wright's need to make sure the audience gets it. It in this case is how uplifting the idea of Steve Lopez helping Nathaniel Ayers is and how brave Nathaniel is in attempting to make a life for himself through music and despite his illness. We get it Joe. We get it.

See it for Downey Jr, if you're a fan.