Movie Review: Exodus Gods and Kings

Exodus Gods and Kings (2014) 

Directed by Ridley Scott 

Written by Adam Cooper, Bill Collage, Jeffrey Caine, Steven Zaillian

Starring Christian Bale, Joel Edgerton, John Turturro, Aaron Paul, Ben Mendelsohn

Release Date December 12th, 2014 

Published December 11th, 2014 

Ridley Scott's "Exodus: Gods and Kings" is a dull slog through a Bible story too familiar to be of much interest. Putting aside, for a moment, the awful casual racism involved in the film's casting, "Exodus" just simply isn't a very good film. Despite the special effects that render the seven plagues of Egypt in spectacular fashion, the grim story and wooden characters make "Exodus" a dreadful movie-going experience. 

Christian Bale stars as Moses and Joel Edgerton is Ramses, the Egyptian pharaoh, soon to be king. When we first meet them, Moses is Ramses' right-hand man. The two were raised as brothers by the Egyptian King Seti (John Turturro). Moses' origin story, however, is a lingering mystery that will become a definitive part of his life. He is an Israelite, and not an Egyptian. 

In fact, Moses isn't merely Jewish. He may be the Jewish savior who leads his people to freedom in Canaan, which will later become Israel. But first he and Ramses have to go to war. Moses has to prove that he is the greater warrior and more worthy heir to the throne of Egypt than the sniveling Ramses, who will poison his father to make sure his ascension to the throne happens without interruption. 

Ramses' paranoia eventually extends to his feelings for his brother Moses, whom he suspects will usurp his throne. When Ramses is informed by spies that Moses is, in fact, Jewish, he banishes Moses from the kingdom. Nine years pass, and Moses has begun to raise a family. Then he has a vision: A child, a stand-in for God, orders Moses to return to Egypt and lead his people out of slavery. 

If you don't already know this story then you have likely lived under a rock since birth. It's among the most familiar Bible stories in history, thanks to the violence and death unleashed by God in seven plagues. The plagues are the main reason why "Exodus: Gods and Kings" exists. Special effects have advanced so much in the past two decades that making the Nile River run red with blood, the arrival of millions of frogs, and an attack of locusts now can be rendered realistically in CGI.  

There is no denying that the special effects are impressive, especially late in the film, when God parts the Red Sea and then un-parts the Red Sea in even more spectacular and deadly fashion. But special effects alone are not enough to overcome the grim story, dour performances and general tedium of sitting through nearly three hours of this. 

And then there is the racism at the heart of the film. Both director Ridley Scott and 20th Century Fox owner Rupert Murdoch have weighed in on the casting of Scottish actor Joel Edgerton, saying that it was a business decision to cast a white actor as an Egyptian king. Scott claims that an actor with a name like Muhammad would not sell tickets, as if the name of Joel Edgerton ever has sold a ticket anywhere outside his Scottish home town. 

Bale, at the very least, has the powerful presence and charisma to render a Moses we can appreciate. Edgerton's sneering, sniveling Ramses is an over-the-top bore who is completely overmatched opposite Bale's imposing performance. Of course, even if Edgerton had delivered an Oscar-worthy turn, it still would not justify his casting over that of an actual Egyptian actor in the role. 

Scott's attempt to mask this racism as a business decision only makes it more insidious and cynical. It's impossible to watch "Exodus: Gods and Kings" and not see the casting of Edgerton – and, to an extent, Bale and Turturro -- as the latest example of Hollywood's historic offhand bigotry that dates back to Al Jolson and D.W Griffith. Nearly 100 years after Griffith, one might think we've evolved, especially with Hollywood's well known leftist politics. Yet here we are with white actors imitating Arabs and Israelites while wearing brown-face. 

In the end, even if "Exodus: Gods and Kings" hadn't been an overly familiar slog made solely to exploit modern special effects, the film still would have stunk because of its blasé’ attitude toward its own bigotry. 

Movie Review King of Kong A Fistful of Quarters

King of Kong A Fistful of Quarters 

Directed by Seth Gordon

Written by Documentary 

Starring Billy Mitchell, Steve Wiebe 

Release Date August 17th, 2007

Published November 17th, 2007 

What kid, alive and aware in the 80's doesn't remember Donkey Kong. Arcades all over the country teemed with kids lining up to run Mario over those barrels, up those ladders and finally all the way to his girl on that platform where inevitably Kong would snatch her up again and the game would start again. The next rounds would feature killer springs, tiny fireballs, elevators, pulley systems and more ladders. When the game was made available for the original Nintendo system my friends and I would spend several frustrating hours playing that stupid game, my frustration should tell you how well I ever did at it.

That said, I do recall a friend of mine who made it all the way to the 21st screen, scored over a million points and the game stopped because there was no further to go. According to the documentary The King of Kong A Fistful of Quarters what my buddy did was set a world record. Of course, when we played it rarely seemed like anything more than a diversion, not something you took the time to document or even remember accurately. The stars of this documentary however, consider my words blasphemy. They have spent their lives keeping track of scores on video games, documenting them on videotapes shown to men who call themselves judges or video game referees.

One sad soul spends days at a time watching videotapes of people playing videogames in order to authenticate what he believes is an important world's record. As condescending as I'm sure I sound toward these men, and indeed they are all men, what is stunning about this documentary from director Seth Gordon is how compelling and even fascinating these characters become.

Billy Mitchell has long been the all time Donkey Kong champion. His high score has sat at the top of the rankings for more than a decade. Yes, there are video game championship rankings, documented by an Ottumwa Iowa arcade owner named Walter Day. Mitchell has lived this accomplishment for most of his life. Kong along with his perfect score on Pac Man in the mid-nineties, are the defining moments of his life. The undeservedly arrogant, mullet wearing Mitchell is also a successful businessman in Florida who still plays Donkey Kong, longing to break the million point barrier.

Steve Wiebe, on the other hand, didn't pick up his Donkey Kong obsession until he was laid off from his job as a high school science teacher. Long a man with an obsessive personality, Steve's family has long suspected he may have obsessive compulsive disorder or may even be slightly autistic. Whatever Steve's issue it drives him to do things like play Donkey Kong for days on end in hopes of breaking Billy Mitchell's record score. As Seth Gordon documents in King of Kong Steve does break the record but it's not nearly as simple as one might imagine.

Controversy erupts, was his machine that he plays in his garage, street legal or modified. Was the videotape of his game used to authenticate his score tampered with? If these questions sound inconsequential, director Gordon does an amazing job demonstrating how much they matter to this oddball collection of humans spread literally across the country from Steve in Redmond Washington to Walter in Ottumwa, Iowa to Billy Mitchell in Hollywood Florida. As goofy as it sounds I guarantee you will be riveted by Steve's reaction and what happens next.

Seth Gordon adopts just the right level of skeptical distance and non-judgemental humor. You sense that Gordon is on our side in thinking how goofy this competition is. However, as he indulges these strange personalities, you must admit that a compelling story of rivalry and obsession emerges that for 84 minutes keeps you fascinated and wanting to see what happens next. Mock if you must but I recommend you take a look at King of Kong A Fistful of Quarters and try not to be sucked into the war between Steve and Billy and Donkey Kong.

Funny and fascinating, King Of Kong A Fistful of Quarters is one of the most unique and compelling documentaries I've ever seen. A must see.

Movie Review Knowing

Knowing (2009)

Directed by Alex Proyas 

Written by Ryne Douglas Pearson, Juliet Snowden, Stiles White 

Starring Nicolas Cage, Rose Byrne, Liam Hemsworth, Ben Mendelsohn

Release Date March 20th, 2009

Published March 20th, 2009 

I feel I may owe Nicholas Cage a modest apology. In rereading a few past reviews of his films I find that I have spent an inordinate amount of time commenting on his hair. In my defense, Cage's hair has seemed like a separate entity all its own in many of Cage's films. That receding, patchy fro from in Adaptation, the wild out of control hairline from Bangkok Dangerous, and the utterly criminal use of extensions and plugs in various Cage efforts. The man's hair is often as memorable as the movie he's in.

That said, Cage's personal appearance is a matter for his stylist not a review of the quality of the film he is in. Of course, makeup and hair are departments on a film set. Awards are given for great designs in both fields. When you think about it; actresses are constantly judged by their looks in movies whether consciously or otherwise.

Why should Nic Cage be excused? Why should he have a separate standard? Just because he has chosen to look so utterly bizarre on screen I as a critic of film am supposed to pretend I don't notice? How is that at all fair? You know what? Modest apology rescinded. In Knowing, Nicholas Cage's unyieldingly bizarre hairline comes second to the bizarre plotting of director Alex Proyas in a biblio-scientific melodrama about the end of existence.

Knowing stars Nicholas Cage as an MIT professor whose son brings home a piece of paper that had been buried underground for 50 years. The long ago students at his son's primary school buried the time capsules filled with their visions of the future some 50 years ago. When it was opened and his son was given a particular drawing from the capsule, all it had on it was a series of numbers.

Bored and slightly drunk, Cage begins examining the numbers and thinks he sees a pattern. The number 091101 2388 happens to correspond to the date of the World Trade Center attack and the number of people who died that day. Further investigation finds that most of the numbers are also dated and the number dead in every tragedy for the past 50 years.

Worse yet are numbers that correspond to future dates including several in the near future. The idea of determinism vs randomness has been the professor's field for a very long time and his conflict is well founded until he begins trying to alter the future and finds nothing but futility. Rose Byrne plays the daughter of the woman who wrote the numbers 50 years earlier. She now has a daughter who, like her grandmother, is hearing strange voices and numbered warnings. Strangely, Cage's son is also hearing these warnings and eventually unconsciously scribbling numbered warnings.

Director Alex Proyas is a master of this kind of supernatural oddity. His Dark City and The Crow are underrated epics of the macabre and dangerous. Head trips into the souls of people whose souls are questionable at best. Unfortunately, with Knowing he has found his M. Night Shyamalan-The Happening moment.

Ok, Knowing isn't nearly the abomination that The Happening was, but in the context of the two filmmakers, the parallel of the visionary artist finding his absolute nadir, the comparison is apt. Proyas's commitment to the absolute oddity of tone and utter lack of interest in crafting a competent narrative perfectly mirrors Shyamalan's unbelievable commitment to his bizarre meta-environmental parable.

Knowing's milieu is the kind of end of the world prophecy that the religious right oriented Left Behind movies have cultivated for years. Except, replace god with aliens. Yes, ET is somehow woven into this plot along with theology, numerology, Cosmology and even cosmetology as once again Cage's follicles cry out for attention as they hold on for dear life at that place he wishes were his real hairline.

As goofball plots go, Knowing is a doozy of goofball elements from aliens to car chases to the end of the world to moments of family reunion hokum. Director Proyas throws a whole hell of a lot of stuff at the screen. Not much sticks. There is an almost joy in the film's heedlessness of convention and willingness to be so earnestly cheeseball. The appreciation fades however in the final hockey moments.

Knowing is a disaster for director Proyas and yet another bizarre signpost in the career of Nicholas Cage. Add Knowing to Bangkok Dangerous to Next to The Wicker Man and you actually begin to see a pattern of complete disregard for convention that makes Knowing seem perfectly logical for Cage, even as it is a disaster for director, co-stars, producers and subsequent audience.

Movie Review Land of the Lost

Land of the Lost (2009) 

Directed by Brad Silberling

Written by Chris Henchy, Dennis McNicholas 

Starring Will Ferrell, Danny McBride, Anna Friel, Jorma Taccone

Release Date June 5th, 2009 

Published June 4th, 2009 

Land of the Lost was and is a bad idea for a movie. It's based on a Saturday morning kids show from the early 1970's with only a modicum of cultural cache from a group of hipster doofus types who love the cheesetastic sets, the wooden characters and slow moving rubber suited alien reptiles. There are those who have nostalgia for this but it is not a genuine appreciation, it's ironic. People loved how cheesy it looked. Cardboard sets and rubber costumes. Making a big budget Land of the Lost COMPLETELY misses the point. 

The core of Land of the Lost's existing fanbase was never going to go for anything involving the over the top antics of a mainstream pratfaller like Will Ferrell? In the mind of the hipster LOTL fan the only remake that could come close to capturing this cultural landmark is directed by Tarsem or Michel Gondry, whichever director would make the whole thing as some cardboard and cloth acid trip. The Land of the Lost movie we have in front of us is a confused hybrid of family movie adventure and adult targeted humor aimed just below the waistline. Not quite family friendly enough for the kids and not quite edgy enough for adults, Land of the Lost could not be more indicative of its title.

Will Ferrell stars in Land Of The Lost as Dr. Rick Marshall. As a scientist he has staked his career on a theory that wormholes to other dimensions could discover renewable sources of energy. Unfortunately, an ill-advised visit to the Today Show to tout his theory ends in a viral YouTube moment and Dr. Rick is labeled a buffoon.

Four years later, Dr. Rick Marshall is a lowly tour guide at the La Brea Tar Pits. There, he is visited by Holly (Anna Friel) a grad student from Cambridge who is the one person ever to take his theories seriously. Holly claims that she has crunched a few numbers and found some striking evidence that Marshall's theories aren't as crackpot as they seem.

Together, Rick and Holly visit a cheesy tourist trap cave ride where a tour guide named Will (Danny McBride) joins them in what turns out to be a successful test of Dr. Marshall's multi-dimensional device. In Marshall's words 'Matt Lauer can suck it'. Telling people to 'suck it' is about par for the course of the humor in Land of the Lost. 

That's the set up. The payoff includes non-sequiturs about time travel, dinosaurs, exceptionally large poop, a man pouring urine on himself and a giant blood sucking insect. Oh and the music of A Chorus Line. Why? Random! Land of the Lost wants to be all things to all audiences and tries just about every avenue in search of a punchline and while there are undeniable laughs in the movie, mostly it's just people throwing jokes at the screen and hoping one or two stick. 

On the bright side, Anna Friel brings a unique and endearing feminine energy to the boy-centric adventure. She is a fantasy figure who strips her jeans down to short shorts and doesn't seem all that bothered by all the groping, far too much groping. Yet, she is also portrayed as a strong, centered character who manages to leaven out the crazy energy of Ferrell and the Larry the Cable Guy-esque riffing of Danny McBride.

Scattershot is an understatement in describing the humor of Land of the Lost. The movie is all over the place with Ferrell and McBride each flailing for a punchline while Friel desperately clings to her dignity amid the bathroom humor and randomness. There are laughs in the movie but certainly not enough to justify a nearly 2 hour big budget comedy. Mostly, the result of Land of the Lost ranges from indifference to mild annoyance. 

Movie Review Summer Hours

Summer Hours (2008) 

Directed by Olivier Assayas 

Written by Olivier Assayas 

Starring Juliette Binoche, Charles Berling, Kyle Eastwood

Release Date March 5th, 2008

Published November 2nd, 2008

What French director Olivier Assayas accomplishes in 1 hour and 42 minutes of his simple, heartfelt Summer Hours, is something most American directors will never be capable of. With little incident and not one forced moment, Assayas rivets the audience. Here is a sparse yet warm family drama that never resorts to neurosis or pandering though it so easily could.

It's a remarkable thing to behold. It's not that nothing happens in Summer Hours but rather that Mr. Assayas sees no need to underline things, no need for punctuation and absolutely no need for the devices most American writers and directors use to shove an audience from one scene to the next.

The story unfolds at a glorious French manse where three adult children of Helene have come to celebrate her 75th birthday, though she has no patience for the counting of the years. Helene is foremost concerned with her death and with the legacy she has been building and maintaining for decades.

The home had belonged to Helene's uncle, a famed painter. He passed decades ago and Helene has made it her life's work to give him a life after death. Now with her passing she is painfully aware of all that will happen, her life's work will be carved up and sold away. That sounds dramatic but Helene treats it as a simple fact and the sadness lingers until indeed she does pass.

Her children are not unkind or insensitive; they've merely moved on and begun building their own legacy. Jeremie is a successful shoe company exec living in China, Adrienne lives in New York City and is successful in the fashion biz. Frederic, the oldest, is the only one of Helene's children still living in Paris. He's an economist and author with two kids of his own.

Perhaps because of proximity or perhaps because he has all the paperwork to do, Frederic is the most attached to the home and his mother's belongings. Jeremie and Adrienne are not indifferent but far more practical. Neither will be able to make use of the house, they could all use the money and the art has a home waiting at the Musee D'Orsay. 

You can see the potential for great melodrama. You can assume Frederic to cause trouble and drama. You can expect these things but they never come. Instead, in a true rarity, all the characters act as adults and treat the situation as real adults do. There are hurt feelings and some tears, but for the most part, Summer Hours is a movie about how a functioning family deals with loss. 

A quietly brilliant movie, Summer Hours is likely too gentle for audiences raised on modern American drama. For fans of a more refined taste, Summer Hours is a hypnotic, peaceful joy of a movie.

Movie Review Summer of 84

Summer of 84 (2018)

Directed by Francois Simard, Anouk Whissell, Yoann Karl Whissell

Written by Matt Leslie, Stephen J. Smith 

Starring Graham Verschere, Judah Lewis, Rich Sommer 

Release Date August 10th, 2018

Published October 24th, 2018

Summer of 84 comes depressingly close to greatness. As I watched it, I thought perhaps I was seeing the next The Goonies or Stand by Me. What a shame it was then to watch the filmmakers trade greatness for shock value. The final act of Summer of 84 is such a bleak and bummer of an ending that what I thought was going to become a cult phenomenon became just another mediocre schlockfest.

Summer of 84 stars Graham Verschere as Davey, a not so average teenager in a relatively average small town. Along with his friends, Eats (Judah Lewis), Farraday (Corey Gruter Andrew) and Woody (Caleb Embry), Davey runs around town thinking and talking about girls he’s never touched and just generally being a kid. Things change however, when one of the newspapers on Davey’s paper route informs him that kids are missing from surrounding towns.

Davey’s passion happens to be conspiracy theories and his active imagination eventually lead him to suspect that his neighbor, Mr Mackey (Rich Sommer), may be the killer everyone is looking for. His friends are skeptical but eventually they come around and begin helping Davey snoop around Mr. Mackey’s house, rooting through his trash and digging up his garden, all in pursuit Davey’s wild theory.

But is his theory really so far-fetched? Davey did see a kid in Mackey’s house who looked a lot like a missing kid on a milk carton but he says it was his nephew. Mackey does buy a lot of dirt but he also has a sizable garden. Being a cop gives him the perfect cover, he knows how to evade suspicion. But, he’s been a cop in town for years and is a friend of Davey’s parents. Then again, where does Mackey go every night if he works during the day?

This is a solid idea that combines elements of Rear Window and Stand by Me with a touch of The Goonies. Early on, everything in Summer of 84 felt like it was going to provide some comic scares, those jumpy laughs where you’re a little frightened but the jump scares are intentionally funny. I adored that aspect of Summer of 84, the film had me laughing from the beginning and I had hoped that it would stick with that tone.

It’s a solid, professionally crafted movie with a terrific core cast. The stand out for me was Woody. Woody is a sweetheart, a loyal, lovable buddy that I think we all had when we were a kid. That kind of loyal to a fault type kid. You know the one, when you get in trouble, he gets in trouble because he was there to. That’s Woody for Davey, a loyalist, a partisan, a best friend who, when things get dangerous, overcomes his fear to be at his friend’s side.

Graham Verschere is also quite good as Davey, our eyes and ears. The camera is rarely away from Davey, he is the lead character and our surrogate into the world of Summer of 84. Verschere has a wonderfully curious quality, I loved his dogged inquisitiveness. As for Eats and Farraday, the characters of the bad boy and the nerdy kid limit them in terms of interest and aside from a couple of scenes, they become rather superfluous by the end of the movie.

I want so much to explain my objection to the ending of Summer of 84 but I won’t. I don’t do spoilers in my reviews. It’s a rule and it’s not one I am going to break here. Just know that the ending of Summer of 84 is a cheap shot, an unnecessary attempt at shock and it has no place in this otherwise good-hearted movie. Be prepared for disappointment and perhaps you can get over it in a way that I simply can’t. I am angry over the end of this movie.

Summer of 84 is available via on-demand services and is playing in a few movie theaters around the country as well.

Movie Review: Zookeeper

Zookeeper (2011) 

Directed by Frank Coraci

Written by Nick Bakay, Rock Reuben, Kevin James, Jay Sherick, David Ronn

Starring Kevin James, Sylvester Stallone, Rosario Dawson, Leslie Bibb, Nick Nolte, Cher

Release Date July 8th, 2011

Published July 7th, 2011

Kevin James is a big, lovable teddy bear of a guy who is hard not to root for. That appeal comes in handy in a movie like Zookeeper which indicates from its premise that critics should really hate it. The premise has James talking with zoo animals who give him advice about his love life. So... yeah, that's actually the premise. 

To be fair to my profession, the most recent examples of humans talking with animals include such dreadful films as Dr. Doolittle 1 & 2 with Eddie Murphy, a pair of Alvin & the Chipmunk debacles and Hop. History would seem to dictate that Zookeeper should be brutal. That it is far from brutal, indeed it's modestly enjoyable is quite something.

Hilarious Heartbreak

Griffin (James) is in love with Stephanie (Leslie Bibb) but unfortunately she can't love a modest zookeeper. Too bad she tells him this after he pops the question in an elaborate romantic gesture, a terrifically funny scene exceptionally well played by Kevin James who earns our sympathy right off the bat.

Cut to five years later and Griffin is thinking of leaving the zoo to work at his brother Dave's (Nat Faxon) exotic car shop. When the zoo animals get wind of their favorite zookeeper thinking of leaving the finally reveal that they can talk. The reveal on the animals talking is another great scene from James who reacts as someone likely should react when animals begin speaking to them only funnier.

Animals Can Talk

In order to convince Griffin to stay the zoo animals come up with a plan to teach him how to win Stephanie back. Again, you will be surprised how often you laugh during these scenes as James goes all out throwing himself into all sorts of physical gags as he works to make us laugh.

The animal voice cast includes Sylvester Stallone and Cher as Lions, Adam Sandler, doing one of his irritating voices as a monkey, Maya Rudolf as a giraffe and most surprisingly, Nick Nolte as TGIFriday's loving gorilla. Nolte is a wonderfully strange choice who infuses even the goofiest scene with unnecessary vocal gravitas.

If You Liked Paul Blart...

Zookeeper has no right to be as funny as it is but then again neither did Kevin James's last lead comic performance in Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Both films look dreadful on the surface but watching them, I was caught off guard by the number of times Kevin James made me laugh.

No other actor in Hollywood works harder to make an audience laugh. Most of the time when an actor desperately tries to make you laugh they fail, it's all too obvious and desperate. James however, brings sweetness to his desperation that makes him sympathetic.

Of course, Zookeeper is not going to win any Oscars and likely won't remember any of it in a couple days but while watching it I laughed a great deal more than I expected to. Kevin James is a funny, sweet and hard working guy that you just can't help but root for even as you wish he weren't in a talking animal movie.

Movie Review Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer

Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer (2011) 

Directed by John Schultz

Written by Megan McDonald, Kathy Waugh

Starring Heather Graham, Paris Mosteller, Preston Bailey, Jaleel White

Release Date June 10th, 2011 

Published June 11th, 2011

"Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer" arrives in theaters on Friday, June 10th and while author Megan McDonald, who originated the character Judy Moody in a series of Kid-Lit books in 2000, has a book out now of the same title, in a rare break with convention, the story of Not Bummer Summer was created specifically for the Judy's big screen debut.

Judy Moody The Movie

"Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer" stars newcomer Jordana Beatty as Judy Moody, a quirky pre-teen with big plans for a thrilling summer. Judy has devised a game for her friends that involves earning thrill points. But, when Judy's best pals each have to leave for the summer and Judy is suddenly left with her little brother Stink in the care of their unusual Aunt Opal (Heather Graham), Judy's summer looks like a bummer.

In 2009 producers with Smokewood Entertainment approached author Megan McDonald about bringing Judy Moody to the big screen. Many of the biggest movie studios in Hollywood chased the project but it was Smokewood that offered the most unique and daring opportunity for the author.

A Break from Convention

In an effort to stay true to the spirit of Judy Moody, Megan McDonald was offered the chance to author the screenplay herself with the aid of her longtime friend, and professional screenwriter, Kathy Waugh. Together, McDonald and Waugh launched a story that, in a break with Hollywood convention, was not a direct adaptation of an existing Judy Moody book but a new story that launched from the existing characters.

Producer Sarah Siegel Magness, who was producing the Oscar Nominated drama "Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire" when she obtained the rights to Judy Moody, says "We drew inspiration from the existing books without repeating actual storylines." That means that fans of the Judy Moody books are in for an entirely new Judy adventure on the big screen.

Heather Graham is Aunt Opal

Heather Graham co-stars in "Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer '' as Aunt Opal, a character that Judy Moody fans will get to know for the first time in Judy's first big screen adventure. Says author Megan McDonald of Aunt Opal, "We spent a good deal of time developing (Aunt Opal) and writing a whole backstory for Aunt Opal." "She's very artistic and a little bit outside the box but not wacky, she sparkles with energy."

Your Judy Moody Favorites

Aside from Aunt Opal, each of your favorite Judy Moody characters are back in '˜Not Bummer Summer' including Amy Namey (Taylar Hendar), Rocky (Garrett Ryan), Frank (Preston Bailey), Stink (Paris Mosteller) and Judy's favorite teacher, Mr. Todd (Jaleel White.)

Characters new and well known will enjoy a '˜Not Bummer Summer' in theaters nationwide Friday, June 10th.

Movie Review: Transformers Dark of the Moon

Transformers Dark of the Moon (2011) 

Directed by Michael Bay 

Written by Ehren Kruger 

Starring Shia LeBeouf, Rosie Huntington Whitley, Tyrese, Josh Duhamel, Patrick Dempsey, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich

Release Date June 29th, 2011

Published June 28th, 2011

To say that "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" is the best of the "Transformers" movies is indeed damning with faint praise. The first two "Transformers" films were brutal exercises in filmic excess. Michael Bay banged his metal toys together inches from our ears and eyes and somehow expected us to enjoy it.

For "Dark of the Moon" however, the slamming and banging is rather welcome; especially when it interrupts Bay's abysmal attempts at comedy. The special effects of "Dark of the Moon" have greatly improved from the first two films. The effects editing of "Dark of the Moon" is better, this time we can actually see some of the robot action that before was a blur of whizbang, MTV style, quick cuts.

Sure, the story of "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" remains an incomprehensible bunch of hooey but at least I can make out which robot is Optimus Prime.

Man on the Moon

"Dark of the Moon" picks up with a trip back in time to the original space race. An alien ship has crashed and landed on the moon and President Kennedy authorizes NASA to go find out what it can about this alien vessel. Eight years later, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin arrive on the moon and discover the very first Autobot.

Cut to modern day and to our human hero, Sam Witwicky (Shia LeBeouf). Despite having helped save the world twice Sam can't find a job. He longs to work with his pals Bumblebee and Optimus Prime but for now has to settle for a job in the mail room of a defense contractor; John Malkovich plays the company's wacky CEO.

Meet Carly

Not all is bad for Sam however; he does have a new hot girlfriend, Carly (Rosie Huntington Whitely), who happens to have a great job that keeps them in luxury. Carly works for a venture capitalist named Dylan (Patrick Dempsey) who happens to have a posh car collection. That he also happens to be an evil consort of the Decepticons will only come clear later.

The plot, such as it is, has the evil Decepticons, led by Megatron, looking to use technology stolen from the crashed autobot ship on the moon to import what's left of Cybertron to earth, essentially turning earth into the new Cybertron and turning the humans into slaves.

Which Robot is Which? Do You Care?

You need not know any more than that as what is left is the aforementioned whooey. "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" is not about plot complications or characters; it's about giant robots pummeling each other. Quick question: Can you tell the Autobots from the Decepticons? Sub-question: Do you know the names of the individual Transformers?

I watched the cartoon as a child but for the life of me, I cannot tell any of the robots apart aside from Optimus Prime. There is a new robot added to the mix in Dark of the Moon, Sentinel Prime, and I could tell him apart from the others but only because of the commanding voice of Spock aka Leonard Nimoy.

Regardless of what robot is what, I could not stop myself from enjoying watching them rip each other apart. There is a moment when one robot rips another robots head off and the robot spine was still attached to the robot head; I couldn't hold back my giddiness. It sounds gruesome but they're robots so I don't feel bad for enjoying this glorious carnage.

Michael Bay, YOU'RE NOT FUNNY!

Sadly, Michael Bay keeps up his childish sense of humor in "Transformers: Dark of the Moon." While we settle in to enjoy robot on robot violence, Michael Bay cannot resist childish jokes about sex and sitcom level banter from Shia Le Beouf about his girlfriend troubles, job troubles and car troubles.

As mentioned earlier, John Malkovich shows up in Transformers: Dark of the Moon and when he shares screen time with John Turturro there is fear that the movie could turn into a classic vaudeville routine in which the performers trip and toss each other out of the way in order to take over center stage. This scenario sounds a great deal more fun than it is.

I'm a fan of Ken Jeong but what was he doing in this movie. Jeong plays a scientist with ties to the Decepticons but his real function is to be Ken Jeong and act all crazy. That was fun in the context of the "Hangover" movies, it's less fun in "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" because it feels forced and out place.

Opposing Ideas

Michael Bay has two opposing forces going at all times in Transformers: Dark of the Moon. At once he wants us to take somewhat seriously the notion of an alien battle that may end in the enslavement of all mankind. On the other hand, Bay wants us to laugh at his sophomoric, sitcom jokes. The tone simply never works and the two sides run together like an ugly, head on collision.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon could have been a pretty good movie without the human characters. I get why they are there, our emotional connection to the giant robots is relatively non-existent, but Bay and writer Ehren Kruger have made the human characters so outlandishly goofball that we don't have much emotional connection to them either.

Bottom Line

In the end, all I really wanted was some robot carnage that I could actually see. On that very basic level you could call Transformers: Dark of the Moon a success. Do I recommend the film for a general audience? Not really, you have to really like robots to enjoy Transformers: Dark of the Moon. This is not like Spiderman or Batman where the characters have an appeal beyond their actions.

Movie Review: Dylan Dog Dead of Night

Dylan Dog Dead of Night (2011) 

Directed by Kevin Munroe 

Written by Thomas Dean Donnelly, Joshua Oppenheimer

Starring Brandon Routh, Sam Huntington, Anita Briem, Peter Stormare, Taye Diggs 

Release Date April 29th, 2011

Published April 30th, 2011

Detective Dylan Dog (Brandon Routh) has a dark and disturbing past. Yet, as we listen to his bemused voiceover narration, ala classic detective movies of the 40's and 50's, he's remarkably well adjusted. Dylan used to be a paranormal investigator and more importantly, the one human being standing between humans and the undead.

Vampires, Werewolves and Zombies

In the universe of Dylan Dog, settled perfectly in the haunted streets of New Orleans, vampires, zombies and werewolves are real and living mostly peacefully among humans. When one of the undead got out of line it was Dylan who stepped in to investigate and correct matters. However, when things got personal and someone Dylan cared about was murdered he walked away.

Now, Dylan is being called back to action after the murder of a smuggler who has brought to New Orleans a deadly device that could mean the end of human and undead kind. With his trusty sidekick Marcus (Sam Huntington), a zombie after being attacked early on by one of the film's big bad guys, Dylan must re-enter his former life and stop a possible apocalypse.

Noir Mystery meets Horror movie monsters

The premise of "Dylan Dog," which is based on a wildly popular (in Europe) Italian comic book by Tiziano Sclavi, is a tribute to classic noir murder mysteries. Brandon Routh doesn't exactly embody hard boiled detective ala Humphrey Bogart but Routh's off-hand voiceover and quirky approach to the role give the film flavor if not the most accurate homage to classic noir mystery.

The notion that vampires, werewolves and zombies live among us is not new, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," which gets an almost subliminal shout out in "Dylan Dog," carried a similar premise on television to great success. That "Dylan Dog" came along first, the comic book began in the mid-eighties, matters little, the movie is clearly influenced by Buffy and pales in comparison.

Superman Returns wasn't Brandon Routh's fault

So, the noir homage is weak and the premise isn't new, what's left to like about "Dylan Dog: Dead of Night?" The only thing I can recommend is star Brandon Routh. Unfairly maligned for the failure of "Superman Returns" Routh is a clever and handsome actor with a great sense of humor, a strong instinct for deadpan line delivery and the physical presence to dominate a scene.

My affection for Brandon Routh is limited to liking his performance but not the movie in which it's trapped. The premise about one person standing between the world of the undead and the rest of everyday society is derivative and the homage to noir mystery is weak at best. The direction is at times sloppy, as is the script which attempts to honor the comic book but doesn't have enough detail to make any of the references meaningful to anyone but a very small cult.

Maybe catch "Dylan Dog: Dead of Night" on cable someday, late on a Saturday night when there is absolutely nothing else on worth watching.

Movie Review Hoodwinked 2 Hood Vs. Evil

Hoodwinked 2 Hood vs. Evil (2011) 

Directed by Mike Disa 

Written by Cory Edwards, Todd Edwards, Tony Leech, Mike Disa 

Starring Hayden Panattiere, Patrick Warburton, Glenn Close, Cory Edwards 

Release Date April 29th, 2011

Published April 29th, 2011

It's rare when a sequel is better than the original. Then again, few movies as bad as 2005's "Hoodwinked" actually get sequels. We're not exactly talking about "Godfather 2" surpassing the original "Godfather" here. "Shrek" vs. "Shrek 2" is barely a fair comparison. "Hoodwinked 2: Hood vs. Evil" had a low bar to exceed to improve on the first film and in that way it succeeded.

Hansel & Gretel

Red (voice of Hayden Panettiere subbing for Ann Hathaway) has gone off to train with a mysterious sisterhood of bakers who hold the key to an ancient truffle recipe that could give the one who eats the truffle unending power if they can guess the secret ingredient. Meanwhile, Red's Granny (Glenn Close) and her partner the Wolf (Patrick Warburton) with his sidekick Twitchy (Cory Edwards, writer and co-director of the first "Hoodwinked") are on the case of two children kidnapped by a witch living in a Gingerbread house.

Yes, Hansel & Gretel (Bill Hader and Amy Poehler) have been kidnapped by an evil witch (Joan Cusack) and she won't release them until Granny gives up the secret truffle recipe secret ingredient. Eventually, Granny is taken hostage and Red must break off her training to team with the Wolf and Twitchy to rescue her.

James Bond, Kill Bill and Granny

"Hoodwinked 2" shares with the first film the idea of 'Happily Ever After' as a secret law enforcement agency, led by Freddy Flippers (David Ogden Stiers), which assures happy endings to all fairy tale creatures. Where the first film took the "Rashomon" multiple stories from different perspectives, "Hoodwinked 2" goes for straight forward action with nods to Kill Bill and James Bond.

You have to admire the high minded film references of both "Hoodwinked" films but "Hoodwinked 2" gains something from not convoluting the references and instead telling a straightforward action comedy story with mere nods toward what influenced them. It's a cleaner, clearer and funnier approach than in the original which was far too proud of how clever the filmmakers thought they were.

Better than the original

The animation of "Hoodwinked 2," which is playing in both 3D and 2D, is a nice counterpoint to the slick CG animation that has become the standard. It's not nearly as beautiful but it's not as distractingly arty or disturbingly uncanny either. The characters are reminiscent of computer generated Rankin and Bass characters with their chubby faces and limbs.

"Hoodwinked 2: Hood vs. Evil" is far from brilliant. In fact, it is exceptionally minor entertainment. You could do better if there were a Pixar movie out there or if your kids have yet to see "Rio" or "Rango" but if they have seen those movies, "Hoodwinked 2" is a fine third choice, a modest and mildly funny kid's movie that surpasses the original.

Movie Review: Tyler Perry's Madea's Happy Family

Tyler Perry's Madea's Happy Family (2011) 

Directed Tyler Perry

Written by Tyler Perry

Starring Tyler Perry, Loretta Devine, Bow Wow, Tamala Mann, Isaiah Mustafa, Natalie Desselle 

Release Date April 22nd, 2011

Published April 23rd, 2011

Tyler Perry is the singularly most puzzling filmmaker on the planet. In the same film he can deliver a searing message about social ills and dress as a woman who carries a gun, talks like a gangsta and doesn't mind a little weed smoke. That jarring combination made Perry's debut feature, "Diary of A Mad Black Woman," arguably the most schizophrenic moviegoing experience of my life.

In 'Diary' Kimberly Elise delivers a powerhouse performance as an abused wife who finally takes control of her life. The film takes a disturbingly up close view of this abuse and Elise humanizes the suffering in an Oscar worthy performance. And then Perry, dressed in drag as Madea, enters the scene with a chainsaw and like some meta demon begins to almost literally cut the movie to pieces.

Like a Circus interrupting a funeral procession

The same other-worldly shifts in tone plagued Perry's well-meaning "Madea's Family Reunion," "I Can Do Bad All By Myself" and "Madea Goes to Jail." Each film features moments of raw, honest social commentary and each are then blown apart by Perry's insistence on donning a dress and providing clown-like comic relief. Madea enters each of these movies like a circus interrupting a funeral procession.

The Madea issue is slightly less pronounced in Perry's latest feature, "Madea's Big Happy Family." Madea and fellow clown-like, broad stroke characters Uncle Joe (Also played by Perry) and Mr. Brown (David Mann), who even dresses the part of a clown, enter the fray early and often in "Big Happy Family" and never allow the drama of the A story, that of a family falling apart as the matriarch prepares to pass away, to take hold.

Strength in faith

Loretta Devine is Shirley, a long suffering niece of Perry's Madea Simmons, who has just been informed that her cancer has recurred and their is little that can be done. Finding strength in her faith; Shirley has just one wish left before she's ready to join Jesus. Shirley wants one last dinner with her family so that she can tell them all at once that she doesn't have much time left.

This wish is much more complicated than it sounds as each member of the family is consumed with their own baggage. Shirley's youngest, Byron (Rapper Bow Wow) is struggling with a past arrest and an unplanned pregnancy with a nightmare baby mama (Lauren London) and a new girlfriend (Teyana Taylor) who is pushing him to get back into drug dealing.

Henpecked husbands

Shirley's daughter Kimberly (Shannon Kane) has nearly cut all ties with her family in order to establish a suburban, buppy (Black Urban Professional) lifestyle with her henpecked husband Calvin (Isaiah Mustafa) and their son. Kimberly and Calvin have the best dramatic arc of any of the characters in "Big Happy Family" but like all drama in the film, the arc gets truncated by Perry's big top act of Madea, Brown and their daughter Cora (Tamela J. Mann).

Madea's not all bad

Natalie Desselle and comedian Rodney Perry round out the cast of "Big Happy Family" as Shirley's oldest daughter and her henpecked hubby. One must wonder what Shirley had done to the girls' father in order for both women to turn out so horrible to their husbands but that is a subject for a more thorough and thoughtful movie than "Big Happy Family" which is more at home with Madea kicking butt than it is with Shirley's harrowing family life.

There is no denying that Madea can be funny and even, on rare occasions, insightful. There are moments in "Big Happy Family" when Madea's force of nature feels necessary to the plot and even helpful as she/he provides comic relief and a needed swat on the backside of these often troubling characters.

Special guest Maury Povich

Those moments, sadly, are all too rare as the film is padded out to feature length with fat jokes, choke-a-ho jokes and an odd extended public service announcement about the plague of diabetes in African Americans and the need for colonoscopies. There is also an entirely unnecessary arch comic cameo by Maury Povich and his dark comic DNA testing episodes.

In the end, despite honest moments of moving drama from Loretta Devine, Shannon Kane and Isaiah Mustafa, "Madea's Big Happy Family" is mostly a bad movie. It's not funny enough to be a good comedy and their is too much (literal) clowning around going on to allow the drama to resonate. Perry's direction is stilted and, as with each of his previous films, lacks style. In essence, "Madea's Big Happy Family" is typical Tyler Perry.

Movie Review: Water for Elephants

Water for Elephants (2011) 

Directed by Francis Lawrence

Written by Richard LaGravanese

Starring Reese Witherspoon, Robert Pattinson, Christoph Waltz, Hal Holbrook

Release Date April 22nd, 2011

Published April 21st, 2011

It would be easy to write off "Water for Elephants" as a soppy, sappy chick flick on sight of its romantically lit poster and based on the female following of star Robert Pattinson. Easy, but a real shame to do so. Though "Water for Elephants" does have elements traditionally assigned to a chick flick it happens to also be an exceptionally entertaining, at times thrilling drama about circus life in the 1930's and three arresting characters; four if you count the elephant.

Riding the rails

In an old man's flashback to 1931 we meet Jacob played by "Twilight" star Robert Pattinson. On his final day at Cornell University's veterinary school Jacob is informed that his beloved parents have been killed in a car accident. Jacob's father had mortgaged everything to pay Jacob's tuition so, with his father's death went the house Jacob grew up in. With no family and no home Jacob hits the road and seeing a train in the middle of the night he hops a ride.

As older Jacob (Hal Holbrooke) tells it he's not sure if 'he chose the train or the train chose him' either way, Jacob seems to have been destined to come aboard the Benzini Brother Circus train where he gets work as a roustabout until his veterinary skills are discovered by the circus owner, August (Christoph Walz) who hires Jacob to tend to the animals, especially the horses used by August's wife Marlena (Reese Witherspoon).

Forbidden love

You know from trailers and commercials that Jacob and Marlena are destined to fall in love and that August does not take well to being cuckolded. What you don't know until you see "Water for Elephants" is what an elegant and often thrilling journey it is getting to Jacob and Marlena's love affair and its tragic and romantic aftermath.

"Water for Elephants" was adapted and crafted by screenwriter Richard Lagravanese, Oscar nominee for "The Fisher King," and unlikely director Francis Lawrence whose previous credits include the post-apocalyptic blockbuster "I Am Legend" and the comic book adaptation "Constantine." This unlikely team is somehow just right for the detailed period love story of "Water for Elephants" as Lagravanese found the humanity of the characters and Lawrence mined the period detail of Sarah Gruen's novel for a surprising visual feast.

Aiding Lawrence was the team of cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto (Brokeback Mountain) and longtime Terence Malick partner, production designer Jack Fisk. Together this trio transports us back to the 1930's with astonishing period detail. The visual splendor of "Water for Elephants" is the kind of unexpected pleasure usually reserved for late in the year, Oscar contending releases.

Pattinson and Witherspoon have spark

The three main cast members of "Water for Elephants" each brings a unique magic to their performance. Robert Pattinson, though not the most emotive actor working today, has a presence that is both leading man handsome and yet character actor unique. His Jacob is a great deal like his Edward from Twilight or his romantic hero from Remember Me, a rebellious with a tendency for finding trouble as a way of defending the people he cares about.

Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon have a strong romantic chemistry that is well communicated in looks and a meaningful caress. Both actors also have great chemistry with the film's fourth lead, Rosie the elephant played by Tai the elephant. Witherspoon spent three months prior to filming "Water for Elephants" working with Tai and attending circus camp so that she and Tai could deliver a believable team performance.

Ringmaster Christoph Walz

Christoph Walz is the scene stealer of "Water for Elephants" in a role that is every bit as compelling as his Oscar winning turn in Quentin Tarentino's "Inglorious Basterds." Walz's August is unquestionably the bad guy but the layers that Walz brings to the character beyond his abusiveness are fascinating examples of show and don't tell. In the way August speaks we find a man desperate for acceptance in a world harsh to immigrants. In his bold style of dress you find a man struggling to be seen as successful even while his circus is failing and his wife is beginning to stray.

These subtle character touches are part of the joy of "Water for Elephants" which also has compelling suspense, romance and grandeur. While a period romance based on a literary source starring a teen idol definitely screams chick flick, those who write off "Water for Elephants" as such will miss out on a highly compelling and well acted drama that is more than worthy of the modern movie ticket price.

Movie Review: Your Highness

Your Highness (2011) 

Directed by David Gordon Green 

Written by Danny McBride, Ben Best 

Starring Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman, Zooey Deschanel, Justin Theroux, Damian Lewis

Release Date April 8th, 2011

Published April 8th, 2011

In "Your Highness" Danny McBride stars as Thaddeus, the loathsome younger brother of Fabious (James Franco), a heroic Knight and heir to the throne of Mourn. Thaddeus spends his days getting high and bedding chambermaids and is content to continue this lifestyle until Fabious returns from his latest quest with a new bride to be, Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel).

Dragons, Knights and Minotaur's oh my

Thaddeus is supposed to be his brother's best man at the wedding but he fails to show up, choosing to get high instead. While Thaddeus is M.I.A the wedding is attacked by the evil sorcerer Leezar (Justin Theroux) who takes Belladonna hostage with the intent of impregnating her as part an ancient ritual.

Now, Thaddeus will be forced by his father the King (Charles Dance) to join Fabious and his Knights on a quest to retrieve Belladonna or lose his part of the family fortune. Along the way there will be betrayals and dangerous detours into unfriendly kingdoms and a maiden, Isabel (Natalie Portman) who will join the quest and prove herself more than equal to Fabious and his Knights and of course very superior to Thaddeus.

Satire Fail

The plot of "Your Highness" is a derivative satire cum appreciation of cheesy period action movies like "Dragonslayer" and "Krull." "Your Highness" is pitched to a level of poking fun at these movies but in reality, "Your Highness" plays far less sarcastically than was, I believe, the original intent. It's not that "Your Highness" ever takes its adventure plot seriously but rather that the satire is less pointed than it should be.

That could also be a function of the complete lack of invention in all of the humor of "Your Highness." Random four letter words, penis jokes, bare breasts and marijuana are all alluded to and shown in "Your Highness" and yet none of it earned a laugh. Star Danny McBride, who also co-wrote the script for "Your Highness" with Ben Best, falls for the classic trap of thinking the mere presentation of the outrageous is funny.

Franco and Portman

James Franco is engagingly game as the heroic Fabious. The "127 Hours" Academy Award nominee is at times the only actor in "Your Highness" who understands the high satiric tone the film should be striving for; hitting his hero lines with the perfect mix of self awareness and pomposity. Unfortunately, the friendly chemistry Franco and McBride demonstrated in "Pineapple Express" is greatly lacking in "Your Highness."

Natalie Portman is the greatest victim of "Your Highness." Portman's Isabel fails as satire of comic book warrior chicks or as a send up of any recognizable movie character. Her comic delivery is stiff and her action heroine moments are so competent and believable that it fails as a satire of anything other than an idiot's notion of what women can or cannot do.

In the post-Ripley/Sarah Connor world it's simply not surprising or funny to see a woman kick ass and in the wake of overkill like "Sucker Punch" it's barely even titillating. So, one is left to wonder what function does Portman's character serve? If you have a good idea, I wouldn't mind hearing it.

Danny McBride has shown that he can be very funny in supporting roles in movies like "Pineapple Express" and "Tropic Thunder," among other films. Unfortunately, called upon to be a leading man he falls desperately flat. Worse yet, the satire of medieval adventure movies are just as flat and unfunny as McBride's lead performance.

"Your Highness" simply fails in every fashion.

Movie Review Insidious

Insidious (2011) 

Directed by James Wan 

Written by Leigh Whannell

Starring Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Barbara Hershey, Lin Shaye 

Release Date April 1st, 2011

Published April 1st, 2011

The creators of "Saw" and "Paranormal Activity" have come together to create a PG-13 creep-fest that doesn't lose anything for its lack of gore and swear words. "Insidious" stars Rose Byrne as Renai and Patrick Wilson as her husband Josh. Together they have three kids and a brand new dream home.

Dream home becomes a nightmare

Unfortunately, that dream home quickly turns into a nightmare when Renai and Josh's son Dalton (Ty Simpkins) explores the house he ends up falling off a ladder. Soon after, Dalton falls into a coma and that's when things get weird. Dalton's doctor informs mom and dad that their son has no physical trauma from his fall and there is no medical reasoning for his coma.

Dalton is taken home and for a few months he simply seems to sleep. That's when the haunting begins. First, the whole family is taunted by some entity that sets off their security system. Then Renai begins seeing figures walking around the house. Finally the family is forced out of the house, assuming that it is the house that is haunted. I will stop the direct plot description there.

There's something about Elise

The fun of "Insidious" really begins after the family moves into their new home and the ghosts move with them and Lin Shaye, best remembered as the overly suntanned neighbor of Cameron Diaz in "There's Something About Mary" joins the cast as Elise, a psychic, paranormalist and expert in something called 'Astral Projection.' Shaye's performance is arguably the most entertaining in the film as she is both oddly sunny and believably strange.

Elise with her team, including "Insidious" screenwriter Lee Whannell, informs the family that Dalton is not in a coma. What's wrong with Dalton is one of the many fun secrets of "Insidious" that I will not spoil. Director James Wan and writer Leigh Whannell prove with "Insidious" that they don't need the torture implements of the "Saw" films to earn screams from the audience.

If you thought Tiny Tim was creepy before...

In "Insidious" Wan and Whannell use clever imagery to get the big scares. Watch the windows; in nearly every window frame in "Insidious" there is a frightening glimpse of something creepy. Wan and Whannell don't stop at pictures however and when the spooks and demons begin coming into the room things get really creepy. Wan and Whannell even turn Tiny Tim's ukulele anthem "Tiptoe through the Tulips" into an eerie set piece.

"Insidious" is a smart combination of Wan and Whannell's talent for fright imagery with the concept of the "Paranormal Activity" movies with their endless numbers of cameras, doors that shut by themselves and ghastly ghostly possessions. It's a surprisingly good mix that somehow works even with the restrictive PG-13 rating.

Movie Review Hop

Hop (2011) 

Directed by Tim Hill

Written by Cinco Paul, Ken Daurio, Brian Lynch 

Starring Russell Brand, James Marsden, Hugh Laurie, Gary Cole, Kaley Cuoco, Elizabeth Perkins

Release Date April 1st, 2011

Published April 1st, 2011

"Hop" is yet another example of a movie that is more ideal than it is a story. The idea: What if the Easter Bunny ran away to Hollywood and met a struggling schlub who always wanted to be the Easter Bunny himself? Now, while that is a potentially funny and strange idea, the makers of "Hop" seem to have stopped at coming up with the premise.

Russell Brand as the Easter Bunny

"Hop" stars the voice of Russell Brand as E.B, a young rabbit destined to become the Easter Bunny. But, E.B he doesn't want to be the Easter Bunny. E.B's dad (voice of House star Hugh Laurie) is passing the job to him after years of being the Easter Bunny himself. E.B however, dreams of being a drummer in a band and with his dream in mind, he runs away to Hollywood.

Running parallel to E.B's story is that of Fred O'Hare (James Marsden) who is living with his parents (Gary Cole and Elizabeth Perkins) after being fired from his job. Fred has no direction or ambition until his sister (Big Bang Theory's Kaley Kuoco) gives him an opportunity to house sit at a glorious Hollywood mansion.

David Hasselhoff is not funny

That's when Fred meets E.B and, to no one's surprise, E.B begins shaking up Fred's life, causing trouble wherever the two of them go. Fred is a good sport however, and he does take E.B to an audition for a TV talent show hosted by the egregiously unfunny David Hasselhoff.

I will stop there with the 'plot' description as the rest is relatively predictable nonsense. "Hop" was directed by Tim Hill who brought the same eccentric chaos to the first "Alvin and the Chipmunks" movie and the second 'Garfield' movie. To Mr. Hill's credit he has become very competent at incorporating animated characters and human characters.

Set ups, gags and no story

If only Mr. Hill had the same attention to story detail as he does to animated ones. Sadly, Mr. Hill, along with the several screenwriters on "Hop," neglected the story in favor of setting up and paying off gags that could be described as hit and miss if I wanted to be generous. There are far more misses than hits in the gags of "Hop."

The biggest problem with "Hop" is that it is a premise and not a movie. The creators of "Hop" invented an idea about the Easter Bunny in the real world and then invented some gags to play against that premise but nothing that ever coheres into a well told and meaningful story.

Why see Hop when you could see Rango

Kids might enjoy the colorful animation and I know a few adults who just like the sounds of Russell Brand and Hugh Laurie's accents, but these are not the kinds of pleasures that a critic can recommend you spend your hard earned money on. I especially cannot recommend a movie like "Hop" when "Rango" is in theaters. "Rango" is a movie that does more to earn the price of a ticket in the opening credits than "Hop" does in its entire 90 plus minute run time.

Movie Review Sucker Punch

Sucker Punch (2011) 

Directed by Zack Snyder

Written by Zack Snyder

Starring Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens, Jon Hamm, Carla Gugino

Release Date March 25th, 2011

Published March 24th, 2011

"Sucker Punch" is ostensibly a story about an abused teenage girl who is sent to an insane asylum by her evil step father who hopes she will be lobotomized before she can tell anyone about his crimes. Babydoll, as the girl comes to be called for her affinity for pigtails and short skirts, has five days before a doctor will come to deliver her lobotomy.

In those five days the hospital transforms from an asylum to a brothel where Babydoll and fellow inmates, Sweet Pea (Abbie Cornish), Rocket (Jena Malone), Blondie (Vanessa Hudgens) and Amber (Jamie Chung) are featured performers in a burlesque show. Babydoll quickly becomes the main attraction with her mesmerizing dances.

We, however, never actually see Babydoll dance. For Babydoll, dancing becomes a fantasy world where she retreats into a chimerical world filled with dangers that she and her friends must defeat in order to gather the materials they will need for an elaborate and fiery escape.

Babydoll's dance fantasies are fanboy dreams realized with monster robot ninjas, dragons and Nazi machines right out of a bizarre sci fi comic book. The images that Zack Snyder crafts in "Sucker Punch" are extravagant geek fantasies where gorgeous girls in fetish wear wield swords and machine guns against the kinds of villains only Frank Miller or Neil Gaiman might imagine.

If that sounds cool to you then you are likely in the target audience for "Sucker Punch." For me however, "Sucker Punch" is a confounding exercise in Zack Snyder's typical style over substance filmmaking. As with his "Dawn of the Dead" remake, his interpretation of "300" and his take on "Watchman," Snyder's "Sucker Punch" is yet another impersonal homage to what he thinks the audience wants to see.

Zack Snyder as an artist is a cipher; he has no style of his own. "300" was the vision of Frank Miller taken almost frame by frame from his graphic novel. "Watchman," though disowned by creator Alan Moore, was as faithful to the graphic novel's imagery as Snyder could be while adapting the story to cinema standards.

"Dawn of the Dead" too has little life of its own beyond the 1979 George Romero original. The film has the same beat and energy as the original and while the characters and settings have been updated to modern times, there is little that Zack Snyder brought to "Dawn of the Dead" in terms of subtext that George Romero hadn't brought to the original.

Now comes "Sucker Punch" , a seemingly original effort. Yet, despite not having a literary source, "Sucker Punch" still plays homage, like a movie made for others and not by one visionary artist. The geek fantasies at play in "Sucker Punch" are so market tested to particular fanboy tastes that one could assign "Sucker Punch" as an adaptation of Comic Con, the annual comics and entertainment gathering in San Diego, California.

Comic Con invites fans from across the globe to San Diego where costumed characters celebrate their favorite geek fetish properties from "Star Wars," to the latest comic book movie adaptation to little known Asian import comics and movies. Fans of sci fi, swords and girls in schoolgirl uniforms carrying swords cannot get enough of comic con.

Zack Snyder even announced the planned production of "Sucker Punch" at Comic Con 2009 while promoting his "Watchman" adaptation. Now, there is certainly nothing wrong with knowing your audience but "Sucker Punch" has nothing of substance beyond the demonstration of geek fetish imagery.

Zack Snyder's highly stylized CGI worlds are impressive technical creations but his characters are cardboard cutouts placed inside a computer image and dressed to please the drooling masses. Fans of a well told story will be out of luck watching "Sucker Punch" which can barely be considered coherent at times.

The switch from the insane asylum to a brothel to the fantasy fight landscapes are so bizarre that many will be too confused to bother trying to figure out why person A is shooting robot B while blowing up robot C. There is zero logic in "Sucker Punch" and that leaves only the titillating aspects which, as I mentioned before, will only satisfy the faithful.

Movie Review: Big Momma's House Like Father Like Son

Big Momma's House Like Father Like Son (2011) 

Directed by John Whitesell

Written by Matthew Fogel, Don Rhymer

Starring Martin Lawrence, Brandon T. Jackson, Jessica Lewis 

Release Date February 18th, 2011 

Published February 19th, 2011

Aside from innumerable insults to director John Whitesell, star Martin Lawrence, screenwriters Matthew Fogel and Don Rhymer and a sympathetic shake of the head for young comic Brandon T. Jackson, what is their left to offer to the movie “Big Momma's Like Father, Like Son?” This is a movie of ungodly awfulness and yet pointing that out seems unnecessary because everyone, the creators included, knew that would be the case going in.

The futility of reviewing this travesty of good intentions and PG rated oddity is off the charts. Critics have been rendered irrelevant by movies before (I am looking at you Sandler) but rarely have so many of us been left with so little to say about a movie than what we have left to say about “Big Momma's Like Father, Like Son:” Everyone knew this movie was going to stink out loud.

Now, I can already hear the catcalls about 'critical objectivity' and 'not forming an opinion before you see a movie' so let me put that to bed; in the day and age of mass marketing and the internet, it is nearly impossible, even for the most professional of professional critics, not to make certain judgments about a movie before seeing it. To not be exposed to certain aspects of a film before seeing it the critic would have to live under a rock and even then, as Geico pointed out in rather brilliant recent commercial, some information is simply unavoidable.

Do you really want a plot description? Really? Okay; FBI Agent Malcolm Turner is back in his Big Momma get up after his idiot stepson Trent (Brandon T. Jackson) ambushes him while on a stake out and ends up witnessing a murder. Now, not only will Malcolm be hiding out in drag, so will Trent, in the guise of Charmaine.

Malcolm and Trent, as Big Momma and her grand-niece Charmaine, hide out at an All Girls Arts College in Atlanta. There, the recent murder victim has hidden a key piece of evidence against his murderer. Naturally, the setting will invite all sorts of awkward comic situations and for Trent a love interest, a singer named Haley (Jessica Lucas).

What? No love interest for Malcolm? Nope, he remains married according to the storyline began in the first Big Momma movie but in a move that can only be described as a great act of charity to actress Nia Long, Mrs. Turner is conveniently dispatched to some place where she can't even be reached by phone.

No such luck for comedian Faizon Love who gets the unfortunate task of being Big Momma's love interest, a College security guard that Malcolm/Big Momma must keep interested if he is going to get close to that key piece of evidence he needs. Also sacrificed to this awful story; rising star Portia Doubleday (Youth in Revolt) as the school bitch and Michelle Ang as the school basket case.

If the murder plot weren't convoluted and tired enough “Big Momma's Like Father, Like Son” also pauses repeatedly for some seriously awful musical interludes. Trent is a wannabe rapper, calling himself the Prodigee(?), and he offers up some of the lamest PG raps since Will Smith gave up the moniker Fresh Prince. 

Jessica Lucas has a pleasant but unspectacular voice, think Norah Jones minus a soul, which gets far too much screen-time in “Big Momma's Like Father, Like Son.” Why? Because, director John Whitesell has a bizarre notion that this comic, lowbrow murder mystery should also be a PG rated tract defending the arts. No, I'm not making that up. 

”Big Momma's Like Father, Like Son” morphs Martin Lawrence's Big Momma franchise into a quasi-Disney Channel movie where education and the arts are given equal weight against a goofabout murder mystery plot. Good intentions run alongside a surprisingly puritanical vibe interrupted only by Love's disturbing lust for Big Momma and Trent's occasionally lascivious longings for his fellow students. 

The goody goody-ness of “Big Momma's Like Father, Like Son” serves as some sort of attempt at earnestness as a defense against critics like me. I am apparently supposed to reward the film for having moral fiber rather than simply trashing it for being a wholly awful exercise in filmmaking. Well, tough break kids. 

No, mere good intentions cannot justify such a slothful effort. “Big Momma's Like Father, Like Son” is far too slapdash and insignificant to get a pass because it has high ideals. I appreciate that the filmmakers wanted to make a nice point about education and the arts but they needed to do it while making a good movie and they simply did not.

Movie Review: Unknown

Unknown (2011) 

Directed by Jaume Collet Serra 

Written by Oliver Butcher, Mandy Richardson, Stephen Cornwell

Starring Liam Neeson, January Jones, Diane Kruger, Aidan Quinn, Frank Langella

Release Date February 18th, 2011

Published February 17th, 2011

The transition from respected 'Actor' to action hero has been stunningly seamless for Liam Neeson. All it took in fact was one role, that of a man with a special set of skills and a kidnapped daughter in some Euro slum. “Taken” became an action phenomenon because Neeson the actor gave the over the top action gravitas; his acting as a badass became a whole new iconic identity as an actor.

With his new thriller “Unknown” essentially a pseudo sequel to “Taken” Neeson is set to fully monetize his new icon status.

Dr. Martin Harris and his wife Elizabeth (Mad Men's January Jones) arrive in Berlin looking like any other tourist of means. But when Martin leaves his briefcase behind at the airport and is nearly killed in an accident on his way to retrieve it the happy couple takes a shocking and disturbing turn.

Waking four days later from a coma in a Berlin hospital Martin can't remember how he got there and cannot understand why his wife never came looking for him. Returning to their hotel where he is supposed to be attending a scientific conference Martin makes a horrific discovery, Elizabeth doesn't know who he is and another, very similar looking man (Aiden Quinn) is posing as Dr. Martin Harris.

Is Martin crazy? Did the blow to his head completely scramble his brain? Why can't he get anyone he knows on the phone? All will be answered and while those answers will eventually become unsatisfying and even blindingly ludicrous, the journey toward those answers is a rollicking thriller ride that fans of “Taken” will find impossible to resist.

All I wanted from “Unknown” is for Liam Neeson to punch a bad guy in the throat and on this meager request Mr. Neeson delivers in spectacular fashion; “Unknown” may not be an official “Taken” sequel but Neeson delivers the kind of action badassery audiences crave from his newly minted action hero persona.

Yes, “Unknown” goes completely looney tunes in the last reel as Frank Langella arrives in the role of God of Exposition and ruins everything with explanatory dialogue that may as well have been delivered directly to the audience, but again, it's about the getting there.

Bruno Gans damn near steals “Unknown” right from under Liam Neeson. Playing a former member of the East German secret police who Martin turns to in order to find himself, literally find out who he himself is, Gans delivers a performance of measure and precision that would be Oscar worthy in a movie that academy members would actually watch.

Bottom line, fans of “Taken” will not be able to resist the nasty, violent charm of “Unknown.” Liam Neeson's astonishing talent for elevating B-movie material with his professionalism and imposing physicality is one of the great revelations of this short filmic decade. Neeson has changed the way we look at him as an actor as well as the action genre in general with the quality he brings to lowbrow material.

Movie Review The Eagle

The Eagle (2011) 

Directed by Kevin MacDonald 

Written by Jeremy Brock 

Starring Channing Tatum, Jamie Bell, Donald Sutherland, Mark Strong

Release Date February 11th, 2011 

Published February 11th, 2011

Could the wholly un-ironic hero be making a comeback? If the new action movie “The Eagle” is any indication the answer is a solid maybe. The box office is the real deciding factor on such a trend but “The Eagle” is a notable movie for bringing back the story of the unabashed hero, a flawless, stalwart do-gooder who does what he feels is right without pausing for reflection or most importantly without the armor of ironic distance from his quest.

Channing Tatum is the earnest star of “The Eagle” as Marcus Aquila the new commander of a decrepit English outpost of the Roman Empire. Marcus's father was the leader of the legendary 9th Legion, 5000 men who simply vanished in Northern England (Scotland) leading to the establishment of Hadrian's Wall, the edge of the earth for Romans.

Lost in the battle with the 9th Legion was their legendary symbol, a golden eagle that stands for Rome. Marcus aches to recover the Eagle to restore honor to his family name. After suffering an injury in battle Marcus's military career looks to have ended abruptly but after a painful recovery he is ready for a return and he has one quest in particular in mind.

With only the aid of his slave Esca (Jamie Bell), Marcus intends to cross into the unconquered territories and rescue the Eagle of the 9th.

”The Eagle” is a movie that doesn't mess around; director Kevin McDonald jumps into the fray and tells a well paced, well motivated story with an economy of dialogue and free of the kind of sardonic asides that modern action movies use as a buttress against seeming to care about the action around them.

The modern action movie began employing humor as a way of barricading itself from the criticism of the oftentimes goofy action, a way of saying 'we know how goofy this looks.' However, in becoming self aware, the action hero became self conscious and the act of heroism became a burden. “The Eagle” rejects the distance between hero and heroism and in doing so feels kind of fresh in comparison.

Channing Tatum is really the perfect star for this kind of movie. Tatum's stony visage seems incapable of winking at the audience, or of really knowing why he would be winking. Instead, Tatum bowls forward head first into the action with earnest relish and while you can make fun of his lack of depth his sturdy toughness fits the role and gives “The Eagle” some real juice.

While Tatum brings the toughness, Jamie Bell brings the acting chops. Bell steals scene after scene in “The Eagle” with his angry, determined performance. Bell gives life to Esca's back story, a slave captured from the North who may just as soon slit Marcus's throat as save his life, with his forceful words and a deathly stare.

The action in “The Eagle” is a little too much of the quick cut style that has plagued far too many modern action epics but director Kevin McDonald saves it with solid pacing and well motivated characters. His heroes have purpose and desire and while honor in battle is something that the modern action hero turns his nose up at, it's refreshing to see that type of hero make a comeback here.

”The Eagle” is a rugged, earnest action movie for audiences that have tired of the modern action hero and his ironic aside. I'm not saying that ironic self awareness is dead but occasionally it's nice to see a hero who says what he means and does what he says he's going to do without the armor of the one liner to keep anyone from taking him too seriously. There is something at stake in “The Eagle” and the hero doesn't hide from it behind a jokey insistence that nothing really matters.