Movie Review: The Time Traveler's Wife

The Time Traveler's Wife (2009) 

Directed by Robert Schwentke 

Written by Bruce Joel Rubin 

Starring Eric Bana, Rachel McAdams, Arliss Howard, Ron Livingston

Release Date August 14th, 2009 

Published August 14th, 2009 

A movie involving time travel is, quite obviously, held to its own logical standard. The film will have every opportunity to establish its own universe and create logic that makes sense to its characters and gives those of us watching something we can invest in without spending all of our time questioning logistics.

The Time Traveler's Wife starring Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams blows up its own logic and loses much of the audience within its first 5 minutes. This dopey romance that wants to combine sci-fi conventions with The Notebook style melodrama fails miserably at every turn stranding a pair of terrific actors in the wake of one supremely dumb story.

As a little boy Henry DeTamble was in the backseat of his mother's car when suddenly they were in a spin and headed to wicked accident. Then just as suddenly Henry was standing on the side of the road naked. The truck that was to kill he and his mother roars past and then a man emerges from nowhere to wrap him in a blanket. The man is future Henry and he has repeated this scene numerous times.

Henry is a time traveler though he doesn't want to be. He has a condition that causes him to simply disappear and then appear, completely nude, somewhere in time. One place where Henry seems to arrive regularly is a field near the home of wealthy family. What draws him to this spot is a little girl named Claire who, in the future, will become Henry's wife.

Claire and Henry met repeatedly when she was little and up through her teens but when she finally meets Henry when she is in college, he has no idea who she is. This version of Henry has yet to meet Claire and the two share a very confused dinner encounter and some very unexpected, for Henry, intimacy.

Thus begins a very complicated romance and marriage. She wants a normal life and a family and he wants to give it to her but his many trips through time continue to interrupt their life. Can Claire and Henry make a life together despite his time traveling? Will you care by the end?

My description of the plot is far less ludicrous than the way things play out on screen. Director Robert Schwentke and writer Bruce Joel Rubin craft the story in a way that is a little like series television. Henry time travels. He has an encounter where he steals clothes confronts someone and then time travels again. The scenes are ike really dopey episodes of Quantum Leap limited to 2 minute lengths.

What the makers of The Time Traveler's Wife want is for us in the audience to fall for the romance and not notice the many, many logical compromises and outright creepy weirdness that are part of the whole time travel conceit. Henry's encounters in the past and future set up questions about the timeline of his life and Claire's that the movie has no intention, or is it ability, to answer.

When it comes to the subject of Henry and Claire's trouble having children, more unwanted questions arise. And still more questions when Henry and Claire finally have a child and she (Tatum and Hailey McCann play the daughter at different ages) has Henry's talent for time travel.

The logistical questions go from awkward to bizarre to just plain creepy by the end of the movie and then the film manages to find an ending that is even more outlandish and will send audiences home shaking their head. All I will say is, pay attention to Claire's father who is shoehorned into a subtextual role in the movie that really makes very little sense.

Foolishness abounds in The Time Traveler's Wife. Some of it is of the so bad it's funny variety. Most of it is just plain dumb.

Movie Review: The Ugly Truth

The Ugly Truth (2009) 

Directed by Robert Luketic

Written by Nicole Eastman, Kristen McCullah Lutz, Kristen Smith

Starring Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler, Eric Winter, John Michael Higgins

Release Date July 24th, 2009 

Published July 25th, 2009 

I am a big fan of Katherine Heigl. She was pitch perfect as the hot girl romancing regular guy Seth Rogan in Knocked Up. And in last January's 27 Dresses Heigl brought energy, warmth and life to stale romantic comedy conventions. I'm sure she had similar intent when she decided to make The Ugly Truth.

Sadly, we all know about the path of good intentions. Katherine Heigl and co-star Gerard Bulter and director Robert Luketic certainly didn't set out to make a movie as blazingly awful as The Ugly Truth but at some point their good intentions were no match for dimwitted plotting and bizarrely misogynistic B.S that passes for character development.

In The Ugly Truth Katherine Heigl is a control freak Morning TV Producer whose show is in the tank. It is, for no good reason at all, hosted by a married couple (the wasted comic talents John Michael Higgins and Cheryl Hines) who bicker on an off the air, on the air somewhat more pleasantly.

The show is on the verge of being cancelled for Jerry Springer reruns when the station boss hires the boorish host of a misogynist cable access show. He is Gerard Butler and while he burps and cusses and calls women names we know he's a good guy deep down because he loves his conveniently placed, toe-headed nephew.

You don't need a map or even a pair of glasses to see where this plot is headed. She needs a good roll in the hay to get loosened up and he needs a good woman to reform his bad boy tendencies. Knowing this, the movie needs to invent believable and funny reasons to keep them apart. Unfortunately, believable and funny are both well out of this dimwitted movie's grasp.

The creaky, leaky plot of The Ugly Truth has Butler's bad boy playing Cyrano for Heigl's clutzy control freak so that she can land the man of her dreams, the supremely bland soap star Eric Winters. His method for getting the guy is advising Heigl to laugh at all of her man's jokes, wear tighter fitting clothes and fellate a hot dog.

Basically, she should indulge the ugly tendencies that all men have toward women but most try to hide behind manners and civility, two more qualities this movie could have used along side being funny and believable. Oh, that bit with the hot dog? That is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the low humor and generally foul behavior that passes for humor in The Ugly Truth.

Struggling through the morass of romantic comedy cliche and ugly low brow humor, The Ugly Truth lives up to half of its title, this is one ugly movie. The truth is that Katherine Heigl is far too talented to waste her time with this kind of trash. Kath? Fire your agent, or whoever advised you to even listen to The Ugly Truth.

Movie Review: Warrior

Warrior (2011) 

Directed by Gavin O'Connor

Written by Gavin O'Connor, Anthony Tambakis, Cliff Dorfman

Starring Tom Hardy, Joel Edgerton, Nick Nolte 

Release Date September 9th, 2011

Published September 9th, 2011

I can imagine the pitch meeting for "Warrior;" it was likely the easiest sell in a long time. Producers likely walked up to a studio executive and promised two "Rocky" movies in one and walked away with a green light. Yes, "Warrior" is two "Rocky" movies in one as Tom Hardy's war hero and Joel Edgerton's physics teacher are both underdogs who overcome the odds for the chance to fight the big fight.

Tommy Riordon (Tom Hardy) is a former war hero attempting to stay out of the lime light. In returning home to Pittsburgh, Tommy seeks out his formerly alcoholic father, Nick Nolte, for a favor. Tommy wants a trainer for a major Mixed Martial Arts tournament and while his father was an abusive drunk who drove Tommy and his mother to run away, he was a great trainer.

Unknowingly on the same track is Tommy's brother Brendon (Joel Edgerton). A popular High School physics teacher, Brendon is facing the loss of his house if he can't come up with some extra cash. Against the wishes of his worried wife (Jennifer Morrison), Brendon returns to the world of Mixed Martial Arts to make some quick cash.

Lingering in the near future is a major Mixed Martial Arts tournament with a multi-million dollar prize. The trailer for "Warrior" has spoiled what happens in the tournament but trust me, you will still be compelled by the action captured by director Gavin O'Connor who makes the action of MMA both brutal and yet safe for all audiences; the film is rated PG-13.

There is a surprisingly soft middle to "Warrior." The family drama involving the brothers and their dad and Brendon and his wife is an easy, pushy kind of drama that states quite clearly how the audience is supposed to react to what is being presented. For me, this type of drama is irksome, others don't mind having movie think for them.

The difference between a good movie and a great movie often lies in the attention to detail. Great movies take care to avoid even the tiniest logical inconsistencies. Good movies allow a few things to slide in the hope that the big dramatic moments will make audiences forget about the flawed moments.

The flaws in "Warrior" prevent it from becoming a great movie. The problems are in the details such as the fate of Brendon's job and Tommy's leaving the military. There are others as well and each of the issues detracts from what could be a very good sports drama.

"Warrior" could have been a contender. A little more care to sure up the minor cracks in the film's logic and we could be talking about a serious Oscar contender.Tom Hardy is so phenomenal and his performance is so authentic that he nearly wills "Warrior" toward greatness. It's a shame that he is undercut by drama that doesn't trust his ability to compel us without needing to signal the audience how to feel.

Movie Review I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With

I want Someone to Eat Cheese (2007) 

Directed by Jeff Garlin

Written by Jeff Garlin

Starring Jeff Garlin, Sarah Silverman, Bonnie Hunt, Mina Kolb

Release Date September 5th, 2007 

Published September 25th, 2007 

If Hollywood won't cast you as the lead in a movie, make your own. That is what comedian and Curb Your Enthusiasm cast Jeff Garlin has done. I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With is Garlin gathering his friends, mostly from Chicago's Second City Comedy troupe, and making a movie that he can star in. Garlin produced, wrote the screenplay and directed I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With and it has the breezy, good natured tone of friends getting together to chat and make each other laugh. If the film occasionally strains for the laughs or goes just slightly over the top, it's okay because we like these characters and we especially like Garlin.

James (Garlin) has 3 very distinct problems. First is his weight, when we meet him he is outside a convenience store gorging on junk food and milk. Later he sneaks out of an overeaters anonymous meeting to go for ice cream. Next is the fact that at 39 he still lives with his mother (Mina Kolb). And lastly is his career where opportunities are beginning to dry up. Refusing to leave Chicago for Los Angeles, where there are far more jobs for a working actor, James is biding his time with the Second City Improv troupe as he awaits another opportunity.

James feels however that these problems would mean a whole lot less if he just had someone to eat cheese with, a cute metaphor invented by Beth (Sarah Silverman) as she and James observe a couple in the park sharing wine and cheese. James thinks that maybe he could share some cheese with Beth but she's a little crazy. When they meet she immediately frightens him with blunt sex talk. Later she invites him along as she shops for underwear. Is she toying with him or does she have real interest in him? We really can't tell. Then there is Stella (Bonnie Hunt) a school teacher who James runs into repeatedly and despite obvious chemistry, James fails to recognize the real possibilities with her.

The film sets up two distinct options for James and though one seems obviously right and the other obviously wrong, we are ok with James' mistake. It's a natural, human mistake and we have faith it will be corrected by the end of the film's very brief 80 minute runtime. Garlin's skill is not great romantic comedy but rather finding comedy in the everyday, mundane actions of the lives of these characters. The conversations, the rhythms of the everyday are organic and familiar in a friendly way. Especially funny are the conversations between James and his best friend Luca, played by David Pasquesi. Garlin and Pasquesi have been friends for years, from their time in Second City, and the natural rhythm of their conversations definitely shows.

There are awkward moments. Amy Sedaris has a cameo as a school guidance counselor that feels a little under-rehearsed. Also Sarah Silverman at times pushes past just being a little shocking and into off-putting territory. Again, a little bit too much improv likely leads to a little too much freedom and Silverman goes over the top. I still believed the character, because I know a number of shocking and slightly nuts gals, Silverman just takes it a little too far in one or two scenes. On the other hand, I did love Garlin's reaction to these awkward moments. His discomfort with her open sexuality is very sweet. Rarely do we get characters who don't just resist being a lech but really try to avoid the impression of a lecherous thought.

Charming, easygoing, with some really big laughs and a number of minor chuckles, I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With is a real delight.

Movie Review: The Whole Ten Yards

The Whole Ten Yards (2004) 

Directed by Howard Deutch 

Written by George Gallo 

Starring Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Amanda Peet, Natasha Henstridge 

Release Date April 7th, 2004

Published April 7th, 2004 

The Whole Ten Yards is the perfect example of why we hate most sequels. Whereas sequels such as the Star Wars episodes, Matrix or Kill Bill Volume 2 are natural extensions of their originators, most sequels are greedy attempts to capitalize on a previous success. The Whole Ten Yards would not exist without the success of the first film, it exists solely because of the greed of the producers and has no artistic aspiration whatsoever.

Rejoining the story of dentist Oz Oseransky (Matthew Perry) and his wife Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge), we find the happy couple in Los Angeles where Oz has fortified there home. He skittishly awaits mob reprisal for the death of Yanni Gogolak (Kevin Pollak). Cynthia is terribly annoyed of Oz’s constant fear and longs for the adventurousness of her ex-husband Jimmy “The Tulip” Tudeski (Bruce Willis).

Unknown to Oz, Cynthia has been in contact with Jimmy who is hiding out in Mexico with his new wife Jill (Amanda Peet). The two have settled into domesticity with Jill doing the contract killing and Jimmy becoming Martha Stewart. However it might be that Jimmy’s new attitude is all a ruse as he and Cynthia concoct a plan centered on the prison release of mob boss Lazlo Gogloak (Yanni’s brother, also played by Kevin Pollak). There’s something about Lazlo having $280 million dollars and Jimmy and Cynthia inventing a way to steal it, but the plot and the film as a whole are horribly convoluted.

Director Howard Deutch knows bad retreads having directed unnecessary sequels to Grumpy Old Men and The Odd Couple. Deutch brings nothing new or interesting to his work in The Whole Ten Yards except a relaxed attitude toward improvisation by his cast. The cast must have needed the improv if only to entertain themselves.

The cast is the film’s one strength. Perry, Willis, Henstridge and Peet have great chemistry and obviously enjoy working together. The obviously improvised moments are far funnier than anything in the script is. Amanda Peet is especially wonderful as Jill who is desperate for her first real contract killing after a number of spectacular failures. Peet was the best thing about the first film as well, which many people will only remember for her spectacular breasts.

Thanks to the cast, The Whole Ten Yards is not a complete disaster. Sadly, even as talented as the cast is, they can’t save this threadbare comic premise. They especially can’t overcome the obvious cynicism behind the film’s creation. I’m giving the film a four, one star for each of the principle cast members.

Movie Review Juno

Juno (2007) 

Directed by Jason Reitman

Written by Diablo Cody

Starring Elliott Page, Jason Bateman, J.K Simmons, Allison Janney, Jennifer Garner, Michael Cera

Release Date December 5th, 2007

Published December 4th 2007

We've seen movies with smart ass motormouths and quick to quip teens. What separates Juno from characters of our recent, acerbic past is a performance by Ellen Page that simply rings truer than other similar performances. Page's Juno plays like a real teenage who happens to be savvier than most of the people she meets.  

Juno (Elliot Page) is just 16 but she has that typically movie worldliness that seems so rare in real life. Quick with a quip, Juno's wit belies a vulnerability that comes out when forced to confront her real feelings for her good friend Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera). Juno and Paulie had danced around their feelings for each other in typical teenage gamesmanship until one night when each took things further than expected.

The sex was the kind that teenagers often experience, fumbling yet transformative on an emotional level. There is no real sex scene in Juno but visual and verbal allusions tell us all we need to know about the encounter. More important to the movie is the result of the brief encounter, Juno is pregnant.

Now she must tell her parents, Dad Mac (J.K Simmons) and stepmother Bren (Allison Janney) are both relieved and disappointed. The relief is that Juno hasn't been arrested or expelled from school, their initial suspicions when Juno when Juno sat them down for a talk. Their disappointment, typically parental, are concerns about her future and that of the unexpected grandchild.

After a brief flirtation with the big A, Juno is put off by a lone protester who tells her her baby already has fingernails, leads Juno to a more unique solution. The local Nickel Saver flyer has real advertisements for couples seeking babies. There Juno finds Mark (Jason Bateman) and Vanessa (Jennifer Garner) a well to do yuppie suburban couple who seem like the perfect fit.

Looks are deceiving however as Juno bonds with Mark, a frustrated musician turned jingle writer, who longs for the days when it was just him and his band and his music. Meanwhile baby fevered Vanessa puts off all around her with her baby preparations and constant nervousness over whether Juno will actually give up the child.

Writer Diablo Cody and director Jason Reitman wring some real surprises out of these characters whose lives unfold in a most unique and engaging manner. Holding it all together is Page's Juno whose vulnerability behind the quick witted bravado is the heart of the picture.

Page more than deserves the Oscar nomination she was recently rewarded with. The layers she brings to what could have been an overly familiar, too smart for her own good, teenage adult are quite surprising. The acerbic teen in movies more often than not sounds like a mini-adult with the writers of Seinfeld whispering in their ears. Juno too is quick with the quip but somehow Elliott Page makes it feel real.

She is aided greatly by a skilled supporting cast; that seem just the type of people who could bring about a personality like Juno. J.K Simmons as Juno's dad may not be hip and his wit is not as cutting as his daughters but his befuddled skepticism and earnest curiosity give a definite idea of where Juno came from. Especially when it's combined with the no nonsense toughness and good heartedness of Juno's stepmom played brilliantly by Allison Janney.

And then there is the exceptional Michael Cera who captures the awkwardness of youth like few actors we've ever seen. His Paulie is quirky and weird and clumsy but true hearted and in love with Juno whether she is willing to see it or not. The relationship is a near perfect depiction of teenage love, unlike anything we've seen before.

Juno and Paulie are not Dawson's Creek characters who say all the right things all the time or seem understanding beyond their years. This is how real teenagers express their love with metaphoric hair pulling and subtext filled bickering because they can't express or understand their true feelings. The love is clumsy and faltering and so very true.

It is at once astonishing and not all that surprising that all involved are so very young. For director Jason Reitman Juno is only a second feature. This is writer Diablo Cody's screen debut and for star Elliot Page, they are  almost a veteran appearing in their third feature outing following the well reviewed indie Hard Candy and the big budget actioner X-Men: The Last Stand.

It is their youth that invigorates Juno and gives the film its truth. They know these characters and this situation because they are so very close to them in terms of experience and age. Youthful exuberance is what enlivens the whole of Juno and makes it such a pleasure to behold.

I would be remiss if I did not also praise the soundtrack of Juno, so sadly overlooked by Oscar. The music of Juno is integral to the drama without ever overshadowing it. Nor does the music act as Greek chorus, Reitman and music supervisor Peter Afterman make near perfect use of both classic pop/alternative and newer music from bands like Belle and Sebastian and The Moldy Peaches.

The Peaches song "Anyone Else But You" provides one of the years great music moments, a coda to the film perfect in it's subtlety.

Movie Review Knight and Day

Knight and Day (2010) 

Directed by James Mangold

Written by Patrick O'Neill 

Starring Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Peter Sarsgard, Viola Davis, Paul Dano 

Release Date June 23rd, 2010 

Published June 22nd, 2010

Despite repeated bashings in the media, Tom Cruise remains one of the biggest stars in the world. While his image took hits due to what some called bizarre behavior (couch jumping) his appeal to audiences hasn't seen much of an effect. It would be easy to point to his time as an United Artists movie executive and the modest flop Lions For Lambs as symbols of Cruise's slipping star power.

For that narrative to fit however you have to ignore his next film Valkyrie, a real dog of a movie that Cruised past 200 million dollars at the worldwide box office. The fact is, as much as so many in the media seem to want to write him off, Tom Cruise remains one of the last true movie stars and his new movie Knight and Day co-starring Cameron Diaz and directed by James Mangold is ready to prove it once again.

In Knight and Day Tom Cruise plays Ray Miller a super spy on the run with a much sought after item. What this item is doesn't really matter. What matters is that he has it and others want it. Ray needs to catch a flight for Boston and aware that he's being followed he takes advantage of a fellow Boston traveler, June Havens. Stashing this hidden item in her bags and then recollecting it after slipping through security, Ray had hoped he'd seen the last of this beautiful but innocent woman.

No such luck however. The bad guys assume she's with Roy and soon she too must go on the run with Ray and the McGuffin. For the uninitiated, the McGuffin is a Hitchcock creation; it's a plot device motivating characters from one scene to the next with their desire to capture the coveted McGuffin. In Knight and Day it's some all-powerful battery, in Casablanca it was letters of transit, in Pulp Fiction a suitcase filled with gold. You get the point the McGuffin doesn't really matter.

What does matter? Setting up two clever, charming, attractive characters and allowing them to be clever charming and attractive as stuff blows up real good all around them. Director James Mangold is well aware of the formula and sets about staging massive chase scenes and explosions while relying on Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz to charm the audience into not caring about the obvious lack of originality and invention.

Knight and Day is nothing more than a very typical summer action movie but it gets past the been there, done that factor thanks to a pair of leads who know how to push an audiences buttons. Cruise is all smiles and splendid, comical calm amidst the chaos of Knight and Day while Cameron Diaz is gorgeously goofy delivering her magical combination beauty and gangly slapstick.

Both Cruise and Diaz are all charm and Knight and Day succeeds as both an action movie and a comedy because of the clever ways each star holds the screen by reminding us how much we've always liked them. Who cares about how much of Knight and Day is derivative of other action comedies; those movies didn't have Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. Haters be damned, Tom Cruise remains one of the biggest stars in the world and Knight and Day is only the latest example.

Movie Review: Transformers Revenge of the Fallen

Transformers Revenge of the Fallen (2009) 

Directed by Michael Bay 

Written by Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman

Starring Shia LeBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro

Release Date June 24th, 2009

Published June 23rd, 2009

As a kid I was a big fan of Transformers. Looking back now as an adult I marvel at the idea: Wow, I was one weird kid. Transformers is one goofball concept. Talking, alien robots come to earth in search of ancient energy and disguise themselves as everyday cars, trucks and electronics.

This concept raises numerous logical questions, not the least of which is: Why would giant alien robots need to pretend to be everyday objects? You're a giant alien robot, why are you disguised as an Ice Cream Truck or a tape player? Identities taken on by a pair of alien robots.

The goofball premise becomes even goofier in the live action movie and sequel Transformers and Transformers Revenge of the Fallen. Adding Shia LeBeouf, Megan Fox and a couple of wacky parental figures for comic relief, director Michael Bay takes a bizarre concept and makes it even more bizarre.

When we last saw the Autobots, good guy alien robots lead by Optimus Prime, they had stopped the evil Decepticons, lead by the evilest of evil alien robots Megatron, from obtaining something called the All Spark. Now, the Autobots and their human friends are prepping for war with the Decepticons once again, this time over something called Energon. Riveted yet?

The key to finding or rather creating energon, maybe, I'm not sure, is inside the mind of college bound Sam Witwicky (shia LeBeouf). It was Sam's seemingly random purchase of a rundown yellow camaro that lead to mass warfare when it was revealed that his car was really the alien robot protector bot Bumblebee. Sam making this discovery automatically drafted him and the girl of his dreams Mikaela (Megan Fox) into the war between Alien robot races.

Now, Sam has a map imprinted in his brain that will lead to the discovery of energon, or something. The Decepticons want to open up Sam's brain and remove the information while Sam needs to lead the Autobots to the energon to stop them.

If that plot doesn't grab you then you should probably skip Transformers Revenge of the Fallen because at 2 hours and 45 minutes you will have to want to be invested in this plot. You will have to work very hard not to be bored or put off by this exceptionally over-complicated and lame plot.

Worse yet are the juvenile, amateur hour attempts at humor. Sam's parents played by Kevin Dunn and Judy White are used as comic filler, first doing a variation on the comic strip Bickersons and then a really odd stretch where mom is whacked out on drugs. None of this has anything to do with alien robots and yet it's in there.

Then there is the robot who speaks jive. The robot who speaks through classic songs on it's car radio and the robot with giant robot testicles. Yes, testicles. Are you laughing yet?

As much as I loathe most of Transformers Revenge of the Fallen even I cannot deny the technical mastery on display. Director Michael Bay cannot tell a good story to save his life  but his special effects work is some of the best in the industry. Optimus Prime is a mind blowing special effect that in a better more daring story would be the lead character.

Here is a sidekick to a group of forgettable human caricatures and one exceptionally beautiful woman. This relegation to the background makes him bland as a character but still extraordinarily rendered. When he is onscreen, especially in battle with the Decepticons, Prime is the kind of star you build movies around.

All of the alien robots are remarkably works of CGI effects. As characters they mostly stink. That however, they have in common with their human counterparts. Shia LeBeouf is a nice actor with a good deal of charisma but his only real character development comes in being in better physical shape than in the first film, the likely result of having to literally run from one special effect to the next, from one on set explosion to the next CGI green screen robot.

There is no denying Michael Bay is a master of effects. If that is appealing enough for you, then see the movie, you might be satisfied. If however, you require a well told story with your massive special effects forget Transformers. See Star Trek a special effects movie that actually bothers to tell a story in between CGI explosions.

Movie Review: The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (2006) 

Directed by Tommy Lee Jones

Written by Guillermo Arriaga 

Starring Tommy Lee Jones, Barry Pepper, Julio Cedillo, Dwight Yoakam, January Jones 

Release Date February 3rd, 2006 

Published February 21st, 2006

There are places we won't believe exist anymore. Modernization and technology we would assume has phased these places out of existence. Places like the old west. Those lawless dust bowls filled with characters ready to drink, fight and kill if they feel like it.

However, watch the headlines and take a look to the south. The old west is still out there in small pockets of the border between America and Mexico. These are places where cowboys still ride horses and carry shotguns. Places where border patrol guards ride like old school texas rangers delivering swift justice to potential border crossers.

As all await Washington's decision to modernize the border crossing with modern fence technology, the old west attitude thrives in lawlessness and old school justice. The new video The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada is a snapshot of this new 'old west' attitude. Directed by Tommy Lee Jones, Three Burials takes a cursory glance at border policy with a broader eye on how a modern society often doesn't evolve as a whole.

Melquiades Estrada (Juan Cedillo) was a kind soul simply out to make money for his family. Quiet, unassuming and hard working it is no surprise that he would earn the trust and friendship of a hard working roughneck rancher like Pete (Tommy Lee Jones). Bonding over heads of steer and women of ill repute, Mel and Pete became brothers.

When Melquiades is murdered Pete first seeks modern justice, an investigation by the local sheriff (Dwight Yoakam). However, unable to escape old west attitudes, it isn't long before Pete is ready for some old school biblical justice.

The man who killed Melquiades is a mystery to Pete but not those of us in the audience. He is Mike a newly arrived, wet behind the ears college dropout who has just accepted a job as a border patrol officer. Moving with his wife LouAnn (January Jones) to a nameless border is for both like a trip back in time some 100 years. Used to the creature comforts of the mall and cable television, the former High School sweethearts, voted most likely to succeed, find themselves failures even in this dust covered piece of nowhere.

Mike has grown quite bitter since his days as a king of high school. Spiritually defeated he takes occasion to let out his aggressions on border crossing mexicans. Warned more than once by his supervisor about his brutal assaults and arrests, it is no wonder that he is the in the killing of Melquiades.

The fates can be cruel. While you might believe that Mike in his typically brutish fashion murdered Melquiades  in cold blood, the facts are quite different. The facts however, matter not to Pete who simply and singleminded seeks justice and also seeks to keep a blood promise to Melquiades.

Pete must take Mel back to Mexico and bury him in his hometown and Pete plans to make certain Mike witnesses this funeral first hand.

Thus begins the true thrust of The Three Burials Of Melquiades Estrada. A death march across the barren desert as irony of ironies a pair gringos crosses the border into Mexico.

Written with hard bitten determination by Guillermo Arriaga, Three Burials has a soft spoken hypnotic pitch to it's dialogue. While Arriaga's words often ache to be screamed, the actors remain flat and emotionless. No one does stonefaced aggressiveness like Tommy Lee Jones and though his words ar never shouted, the harsh sadness and anger behind each is beyond resonant.

Barry Pepper as Mike is really the only character given to histrionics but like the rest of the cast, it's the croaky, whispered moments that make the most noise. As Mike makes his forced march across the desert at the barrel of Pete's old style six shooter the journey becomes as much Mike as Pete's or as the late Mel's. Is Mike redeemed by this forced journey? That is for you to discover by watching Barry Pepper's haunting, mesmerizing performance.

Though set in modern day America, The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada evokes the old west of Peckinpah and Leoni in it's burnt out desert browns and oranges. Picturesque scenery covered in layers of blood and dirt that only old west milieus can convey. This is as beautiful looking a film as it is well acted and moving.

There is another aspect of this story that few people want to comment on. An undercurrent of homoeroticism that is actually quite common in supposedly macho movies bubbles beneath the surface of this manly tale of revenge. Though Pete indulges in an affair with a local married waitress well played by Melissa Leo, it becomes clear that Melquiades is his one and only love. Now neither man would even admit or act upon it, but the bond between the two men, especially expressed after Mel's death, is deeper than Pete can deal with out loud.

There are many layers to peel away while experiencing this intense revenge fantasy. Layers of pain, heartbreak, denial and redemption. The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada is a treasure trove of subtext and of visual artistry. A truly must see picture for anyone who loves movies.

Movie Review The Hangover

The Hangover (2009) 

Directed by Todd Phillips

Written by Jon Lucas, Scott Moore 

Starring Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, Heather Graham, Justin Bartha 

Release Date June 5th, 2009 

Published June 5th, 2009 

The glitz and glamour of Las Vegas has long been a tempting target for the movies. But, rarely has the ever so carefully un-wholesome Vegas mantra "What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas" been better explored than in the brilliant new comedy The Hangover. Directed by Old School's Todd Phillips, The Hangover is male arrested development and Vegas debauchery at its finest.

Four pals travel to Sin city with plans to drink and gamble and be back home with a day to spare before one of them, Doug (Justin Bartha) gets married. Those plans go out the window fast as a night of PG-13 debauchery takes an X-rated turn and the groom ends up missing.

The story picks up the day after the debauchery when Doug's pals Phil (Bradley Cooper), Stu (Ed Helms) and Andy (Zach Galifianakis) awaken in their high roller suite to find a purloined tiger in the bathroom, a baby in the closet and one missing groom. They remember nothing of the night before and have to piece the night together from available evidence.

A medical bracelet tells them they took a trip to the hospital. A valet claim card delivers the police cruiser they evidently stole and a photo tells them that Stu married to a complete stranger. The trip to the hospital, the cop shop and the chapel lead to more bizarre revelations as we follow on a debaucherously amateur detective story.

The story is inventive in the way it continues to spin the boys' behavior out into new and ever more outrageous action but what really sets The Hangover apart are the three actors at its center. Bradley Cooper plays the handsome ladies man as a wannabe bachelor bitter about having given up his freedom for marriage. He is the traditional lead in a comedy of this sort but Cooper gives the role an edge by blending into the ensemble and truly being one of the boys.

The Office co-star Helms is the nebbish nerd with a harridan girlfriend (Rachel Harris) whose so henpecked he has to say he's in wine country instead of Vegas and has some real tap dancing to do when the trip is extended by another day. Helms gets the privilege of playing opposite the radiant Heather Graham as the proverbial hooker with a heart of gold who may be the key to him leaving his old life behind.

And then there is Zach Galifianakis. The enigmatic comic, known for making the great Steven Wright look cheery in comparison when on the stand up stage, is the breakout star of summer 2009.

Roger Ebert fairly compares Galifianakis to John Belushi in Animal House. It's that iconic. Zach's Andy is a wealth of comic non-sequiturs and manages to make a character generally played as a creep into a sweetheart of a man-child whose naïve observations and physical carriage are parts of the funniest performance of the summer.

The Hangover is arguably the funniest movie of 2009. Destined to break out the pack thanks to its absurd amount of laughs and slightly tweaked take on material that seems more familiar than it really is. It's essentially a road picture filled with human caricatures, recognizable types who should work through a mechanical plot to a rote end. Not the case here where the mechanics are twisted and turned in such surprising and hilarious ways.

This is one time where you will welcome a Hangover.

Movie Review: Dream House

Dream House (2011) 

Directed by Jim Sheridan

Written by David Loucka

Starring Daniel Craig, Naomi Watts, Rachel Weisz, Martin Csokas, Elias Koteas 

Release Date September 30th, 2011

Published September 30th, 2011

You cannot separate a movie from its marketing campaign. A movie marketing campaign defines what a movie is before audiences get a chance to see it. Dream House, starring Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz has been established as a haunted house thriller via marketing but the problem is, Dream House isn’t really a haunted house movie at all.

The film stars Daniel Craig as a man investigating a murder that he may have committed. The apparitions that Craig’s character sees aren’t ghosts but rather projections of his damaged psyche. The marketing campaign trades the twist about Craig’s character having been in a mental hospital and not being the man he thought he was, so that it can sell Dream House as a ghost movie. This leaves Dream House to limp through 45 minutes of runtime to a reveal that has already been revealed in commercials and trailers.

Daniel Craig is Will Atenton, a successful book editor who is quitting his job to become an author. Will is headed home to his beautiful wife Libby (Rachel Weisz) and their two adorable daughters who are now living in their new home in the Connecticut suburbs. Unfortunately, the realtor has failed to mention that a man named Peter Ward may have murdered his family in this house or that tourists and teenagers like to drop by and look in the windows.

This takes us to about 45 minutes into Dream House. The marketing campaign has spoiled the fact that Daniel Craig’s Will is really Peter Ward and that he may have killed his family. The movie however, treats this as a shocking twist, giving this plot turn a Hitchcockian reveal.

Why spoil the twist? Why ruin what the director clearly believed was important enough to frame as a shocking surprise? The choice to spoil Craig’s identity in the marketing campaign may explain why the cast of Dream House refused to promote the film. Then again, it could also have to do with how everything after the big twist is a clumsy mess.

The resolution of Dream House finds Will/Peter investigating the murder of his family even as he can see his wife and kids as if they were still alive. Will/Peter’s neighbor Ann (Naomi Watts) is among those with important details about the murders as is Ann’s angry ex-husband Jack (Martin Csokas) and a drifter named Boyce (Elias Koteas).

The ending of Dream House is stunningly inept given all of the talent on display. Daniel Craig is compellingly sad yet determined as Peter while Naomi Watts and Rachel Weisz do variations on attractive vulnerability. Director Jim Sheridan builds a few strong individual scenes but the ending is too convoluted to be believed or enjoyed.

Could Dream House have been a better movie had the twist not been spoiled by the marketing campaign? Probably not given the bad ending but then again, we’ll will never know. As it is though, Dream House dragged on for 45 minutes to a reveal that I was already aware of before ending in the inept fashion of your average B-movie.

Movie Review: Five Feet Apart

Five Feet Apart (2019) 

Directed by Justin Baldoni

Written by Mikki Daughtry, Tobias Iaconis

Starring Cole Sprouse, Haley Lu Richardson, Moises Arias 

Release Date March 15th, 2019 

Published March 15th 2019

Five Feet Apart stars the utterly brilliant Haley Lu Richardson in a story that is beneath her talent. Richardson stars as Stella Grant, a teenager coping with Cystic Fibrosis or CF. As we meet Stella, she is returning to the hospital with a new recurrence in her lifelong battle with CF. Stella is exceptionally familiar with this hospital, to the point that it appears as if they hold this room for her with her stuff already laid out. That could just be bad editing, but that’s how it plays. 

Also back in the hospital is Poe (Moises Arias), a fellow CF patient. The two of them have been going through CF treatments together for their whole lives and I did like some of their chemistry, even if Poe’s homosexuality is awkwardly jammed into the story via some truly terrible dialogue. The movie needs us to not worry about Poe being heartbroken when we are introduced to Stella’s actual love interest, the dreamy, Will Newman (Cole Sprouse). 

Will is a newcomer at this hospital having recently moved nearby with his single mother to take advantage of a drug trial that is Will’s last hope. While Stella can hope for new lungs that can buy her a few years of life, Will has a version of CF, called B-Cepacia, that is thus far incurable and means that he is not a candidate for new lungs. This has, quite reasonably, made Will an uncooperative patient who is simply waiting to die until he meets Stella. 

Yes, this is one of THOSE movies, where pretty teens die amid their quirky attempts at creating romance in the face of death. What makes 5 Feet Apart borderline irresponsible is the central gimmick which the film rather carelessly flogs for forced drama. You see, CF patients are kept at a strict, 6 feet apart distance. CF patients are so vulnerable to each others strains of virus that incidental contact could inflame brand new infections. 

This is especially dangerous because, as I mentioned, Will’s particular strain is even more deadly than those of Poe and Stella. Does this stop him from attempting to make contact and be around Stella? Of course not. Now, to be fair, the film does well to establish why Stella takes a particular interest in Will, beyond him being dreamy. The same sense that drives her to want to spend time in the NICU fawning over babies through a glass partition, draws her to the equally helpless hunk. 

There is also a well established trope of teenagers with no control over their lives via disease or abuse or something in that vein who take chances at whatever might make their life a little normal. It’s normal for pretty teenagers to want to be desired by other pretty teenagers. It’s normal for them to want things that they cannot really have and take a few risks in order to steal what little of the thing they can of what they can’t have. I am on board with that aspect, but it’s handled rather clumsily here. 

Five Feet Apart was directed by Justin Baldoni who counts on his resume a documentary in which he closely followed the life of a teenager with CF, among a group of patients with terminal disease. You can sense that he cares about getting the disease right, to a point. Baldoni appears to respect what goes into trying to survive CF for as long as one can. Sadly, the conventions of the modern medical drama crossed with the star-crossed teen romance doesn’t allow for the kind of care and nuance that Baldoni might want to bring to it. 

What we get instead is a series of cliched romantic bits that double as unintentional thriller setpieces as we watch in horror as the failed blocking of the characters fails to keep them at the safe distance that the disease plot requires. Sure, they keep saying that they are five feet apart but often it doesn’t look that way. Take the bit they do with a pool cue. Stella claims that the pool cue is five feet long and they use it in a way that allows them to mimic holding hands. However, in more than one scene they are clearly holding the cue wrong and drawing each other too close. 

This becomes a moot concern when they both leap into that swimming pool that all hospitals have. Why not just have them spit in each other's mouths for pete’s sake. Just because the pool is chlorinated doesn’t mean it’s safe. Then they start splashing each other with water. Are you kidding me? Perhaps my germaphobe tendencies are coming to the fore but this seems more than a little irresponsible. Never mind that these are two people who already struggle to breath now just jumping into a swimming pool and exerting themselves in a manner that would deeply stress their lungs. 

I’m probably just being overly picky, but details matter and Five Feet Apart gets far too many details wrong. That, combined with the fact of the film’s treacly and contrived set pieces, such as a late in the game escape from the hospital that coincides with an important turn of the plot, turns this serviceable teen weepie into something rather insufferable by the end. Five Feet Apart pushes the wrong buttons far too often for my taste, even as star Haley Lu Richardson does so many things right. 

Richardson is an exceptional young actress and proves herself to be far more interesting and intelligent than the movie she is stranded within. If you want to see Richardson at her best seek out 2017’s Columbus with her and John Cho. That film is exceptional in every way. I even wrote a loving tribute to the film’s remarkable use of the language of film that you can read if you click here. There is also her remarkably charming and hilarious performance in last year’s criminal under seen, Support the Girls, for even more great Haley Lu Richardson. My review of that movie is linked he

Movie Review: Captive State

Captive State (2019) 

Directed by Rupert Wyatt 

Written by Erica Beeney, Rupert Wyatt 

Starring John Goodman, Ashton Sanders, Jonathan Majors, Colson Baker, Vera Farmiga

Release Date March 15th, 2019 

Published March 15th, 2019 

Rupert Wyatt is a pretty terrific director. His Rise of the Planet of the Apes was an exceptional sequel in a series that was pretty heavy with greatness. Wyatt’s talent for colorful characters and kinetic action set-pieces served him well on Rise of the Planet of the Apes and he brings a similar talent to the new sci-fi action flick Captive State. Unfortunately, for all the good that Wyatt brings to Captive State, the film lacks an essential something, a star quality that could have raised it above the nature of television drama fare.

Captive State stars Ashton Sanders as Gabriel. As a child, Gabriel lost his father and sister to a group of attacking aliens that will come to be referred to as ‘Roaches’ for their bug-like appearance. Gabriel’s brother, Rafe (Jonathan Majors), grew up to be a freedom fighter. While most of the rest of the world gave up hope and began serving the roaches, Gabriel and a small cabal of activists began fighting back.

It’s been five years, as we join the story of Captive State, since Gabriel last saw his brother. He assumes the worst but holds a flicker of hope. In his own little way, Gabriel is rebelling against the system. He and a friend have a plan to get out of their Chicago neighborhood and hopefully out from under the ‘Legislators’ as some have come to call the roaches and the humans who work for them and benefit from their betrayal with wealth and privilege.

The plan involves playing courier to a message, a phone number that he must sneak out of his job where he searches and destroys cell phone memory cards. The phone number is a lovely little creative device as it is written inside a rolled cigarette and we watch it sit precariously behind Gabriel’s ear as he witnesses someone in a similar situation get nabbed and taken away by the police. This sequence is a testament to the talent of director Wyatt and his editor, Andrew Groves, who build a strong, gradual tension even as we know its too early for our hero to falter.

The phone number bit almost coincidentally leads Gabriel to his brother. Rafe has been hiding out in their former apartment in a part of Chicago that had been almost completely decimated years earlier when the roaches sent hunters in to level the place while searching for Rafe and his crew of terrorists. This only hardened Rafe’s desire to battle back and try to light the match that he hopes will spark a revolution.

You may be wondering where John Goodman figures into all of this. He does, of course, feature prominently in the marketing of Captive State as the only recognizable actor in the movie, aside from a bit part played by Vera Farmiga. Goodman plays a police detective who believes that Gabriel may be the key to preventing another attack by Rafe and his freedom fighters. Goodman’s Detective Mulligan is a super smart character whose motives are well shrouded. I especially loved his brief interactions with Farmiga which carry both a ruefulness and mistrust and a genuine tenderness that informs all that eventually happens in the third act.

Again, Rupert Wyatt is a smart director and because of his clever choices and solid artistry, I kind of enjoy Captive State. Unfortunately, the rest of the film’s cast is where the movie struggles to the point that I struggle to recommend it to you, dear reader. Let me preface this that I believe Ashton Sanders is a fine actor. He does the best that he can but as a relative newcomer he is limited and what he lacks is the heft of recognition. You don’t know who Ashton Sanders is and by extension, Gabriel remains something of an unknown.

This problem extends to Jonathan Majors as Rafe. For a time, we are taken from Gabriel who becomes trapped by some alien force for a time and sidelined from the plot. With Majors are four other actors whose names I struggle to even identify on IMDB. None of these people are bad actors but they are about as recognizable as strangers in a crowd. We are supposed to invest in these characters as they plot a major attack on the legislators but I struggled to keep an eye on them and remember who they were.

I know this won’t be popular to say, but these roles needed more than merely competent actors. If these characters are going to be this important to the plot, they need to be played by people who carry some form of recognition with the audience. They need to be played by, for lack of a better descriptor: stars. These actors are competent but not one of them has the charisma of a star. I don’t mean box office attractions, I mean that ineffable quality, that charisma that sets some actors apart from others.

Actor Ben Mendelsohn is a frequent topic of discussion between myself and my friends. I have made fun of the fact that he is not a household name. I’m not wrong about that. But, what Mendelsohn has in spades is that ineffable quality; he stands out in a crowd. The camera doesn’t search for him, it’s attracted to him. Mendelsohn, like great character actors before him such as J.T Walsh or the great Harry Dean Stanton or Ned Beatty, has a charisma that helps him stand apart from any crowd they are in.

Sadly, Jonathan Majors, Madeline Brewer, Marc Grapey, even the slightly more recognizable Kevin J. O’Connor, lack that charisma. This is not to say they won’t ever develop that recognition level, they are already quite capable performers. Unfortunately, a movie that relies so heavily on us being able to keep track of these characters needs actors who draw our eye and our sympathy based almost entirely on our innate attraction to them.

There are simply so many characters to track through Captive State that when things begin to happen at a breakneck pace it’s very easy to get lost in the crowd and our emotional connection to these faces we only barely remember is limited. If one of these characters were played by Walton Goggins or a Margo Martindale or a Kal Penn, we might find it easier to get and stay invested in them and their fate.

I know some are saying that either this should not matter or that the actors in this movie aren’t good enough but I don’t think that is the case. I think these actors are fine, and even the direction is quite good at trying to help us stay with these actors but we don’t have that deeper recognition that comes from an actor or actress we remember. This plot would resonate more if we had a deeper connection to these minor yet important characters. Movie stars matter when you are trying to connect your audience to your characters.

This isn’t the only thing that holds back Captive State but it is the most trying element for me. The film grows a tad convoluted in the final act and the ending has a particular predictability to it but I could have got behind it if I were more invested in the supporting cast. That extends to our ostensible star, Ashton Sanders. As handsome and capable as he is, he’s not yet a movie star. He’s not ready to carry the burden of being the central figure in a major movie.

Some movies do benefit from a less than showy cast. Steven Soderbergh loves working with amateur casts and has made amazing movies with first time actors in unusual roles. His film Bubble is a minor classic that has no movie stars. Captive State however, is basically a big budget sci-fi movie on a shoestring budget. With a plot this big and a story this expansive, we need the grounding of a recognizable face. In this way, Captive State comes up just a little short of something I can fully recommend. 

Movie Review Greta

Greta (2019) 

Directed by Neil Jordan 

Written by Ray Wright, Neil Jordan

Starring Chloe Grace Moretz, Isabelle Huppert, Maika Monroe, Colm Feore, Stephen Rea

Release Date March 1st, 2019

Published March 1st, 2019

Greta has the makings of a very good movie. The film was directed by Neil Jordan, the Irish auteur known for The Crying Game among a varied and daring nearly 30 year career. Greta stars 16 time Cesar nominee (Cesar=French Oscars) Isabelle Huppert and perennial rising star Chloe Grace Moretz, an actress seemingly always on the verge of a breakout role. So how did Greta go so very, very wrong? 

Greta is the name of the character played by Isabelle Huppert as a lonely, French widow living in New York City. One day, Greta leaves her purse on the subway and it is found by Frances (Moretz) who kindly returns the bag and its contents. Frances is treated as some small town hick in New York despite being from the small town of Boston which is like any homey backwater I guess. Is Neil Jordan so up on the New York-Boston rivalry that this portrayal is intentional satire? 

Anyway, my digression aside, Frances returns the bag and finds herself taken by Greta’s sadness and loneliness. She takes pity on the old woman and offers to go dog shopping with her. This turns into repeated dinners at Greta’s home and lengthy, intimate confessions about Greta’s failed relationship with her real life daughter and Frances’ pain over losing her mother and her strained relationship with her father, played by Colm Feore. 

One night, as Frances is helping set up for yet another dinner at Greta’s house, she finds a cabinet filled with purses, each with names and phone numbers attached and the same forms of identification inside. This is a quick indicator that Greta doesn’t just happen to meet people, she leaves these bags places with the intent of having a kind hearted person return them so that she makes a new friend. 

It’s really sad and pathetic but Frances, as if she has read the script ahead of time, reacts as if what Greta did was sinister. Of course, we know that it indeed was sinister but when you look at it just from the information Frances has, it’s merely a pathetic cry for help. Frances acts as if the bags are evidence that Greta is a serial killer. Instead of confronting Greta about what she found she sets about faking an illness and then sets about ghosting the old lady and not returning her calls. 

Greta doesn’t take this well and the thriller plot begins to kick in with Greta as the motherly version of Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction and that dog that she and Frances bought together playing the role of the rabbit. Greta begins showing up at Frances’ work and at her apartment and even after Frances calls the cop, Greta keeps upping the crazy by following Frances’s best friend Erica (Maika Monroe) while sending creeper photos to Frances. 

These scenes aren’t entirely ineffective but Isabelle Huppert isn’t exactly Max Cady from Cape Fear. Greta is strange and creepy but not menacing. You feel like she could be mollified with the promise of an occasional phone call and a casual lunch. Again, that’s as portrayed in the movie, only the marketing has given us any indication that Greta is crazier than what is portrayed in the movie. Only the film score attempts to push us toward genuinely fearing Greta but Isabelle Huppert doesn’t do much helping with that with her docile performance. 

Docile until she gets her big “I will not be ignored” moment late in the movie but even that moment isn’t notably energetic. The third act of Greta embraces the crazy a little but not in very convincing fashion. Greta goes predictably where you think it was going from the trailer and abuses the kinds of cliches that movies like this always abuse. There is even a dead meat private detective character played by Stephen Rea who may as well have been named Max Plot Device. 

My biggest issue however, with Greta and Neil Jordan is not so much the thriller cliches of good characters making bad decisions or even annoying plot conveniences. The biggest problem is tone. More than once Greta leans a little toward the high level camp that could make the movie work and then pulls back. If Isabelle Huppert is going to play evil in such a mundane fashion the movie needs to find another way to be entertaining and the movie never finds that. The only believable thing about Greta would be embracing just how silly this all is and leaning into it in a darkly comic fashion and it never quite gets there. 

I’ve made allusions to Fatal Attraction in this review and while I am not a fan of that movie either, that film at least appeared to drift into camp with some intent. Glenn Close was believably batty but she was also unconcerned about how people would take her. There is something close to John Waters’ Divine from Female Troubles in the high level, over the top, that Close plays in that movie. Isabelle Huppert lacks the energy or nerve to really go for the campy, sleazy, silly that Greta needs to be more than cliche riddled, base, thriller. 

Sadly, what we get in Greta is a regrettably straight forward series of overly familiar cliches from similar thrillers about obsessive psychopaths. The only seeming innovation is the lack of a sexual component to the main relationship. Greta is not sexually interested in Frances and the film goes a long way to make sure we get that this is about being a mom and not about a psycho-sexual obsession. The crazy lesbian is the one cliche Greta thankfully avoids. 

Strangely, rather than a movie like Fatal Attraction, Neil Jordan’s own Interview with the Vampire is the movie that best presages Greta in presenting something that should be high camp but is played dreadfully and regrettably straight. That film, quite oddly, also features a strangely bloodless and mannerly approach to a parental psycho-obsession as Tom Cruise, rather than being sexually obsessed with Brad Pitt’s effete and pretty fellow vamp, is more mad that Pitt won’t play along with being his scion. 

Mannerly is a good way to describe Greta. Yes, this is a movie about a psycho stalker but it is going to be decent and respectable about that plot in a way that deflates the movie. Bloodless, for the most part, and with a lead performance with the restraint of a Nun, Greta is a bizarre watch. The score appears to be the only part of the movie that embraces what this movie should be. The film score is filled with moody stabs and atmosphere that is lacking from the performances.  

Tyler Perry's Madea Family Funeral

Tyler Perry's Madea Family Funeral (2019) 

Directed by Tyler Perry

Written by Tyler Perry 

Starring Tyler Perry, Ciera Payton, Courtney Burrell

Release Date March 1st, 2019 

Published March 3rd, 2019

Tyler Perry’s Madea Family Funeral is yet another example of Tyler Perry’s bizarre approach to making movies. Evidence suggests that Tyler Perry acquires a script for a simple, dramatic movie and then, for reasons that only make sense to him, he inserts himself dressed as a woman and that woman’s brethren doing incredibly unfunny schtick that undermines the drama of the actual story taking place. 

With that in mind, I am going to review this movie in two pieces. I am going to review the movie that Family Funeral would be without Madea and the movie that Perry is making with Madea and her cast of wacky characters. This will demonstrate to you the tonal whiplash of attempting to follow a Tyler Perry movie. It’s honestly, exhausting for someone who watches movies for a living to watch what is essentially two movies playing at the same time. 

Family Funeral features an ensemble cast that includes Ciera Payton, Rome Flynn and Courtney Burrell, as siblings, Silivia, Jesse and AJ, who have returned home to Georgia to throw their parents, Viane and Anthony (Jen Harper and Derek Morgan) an anniversary party. Along with them are their spouses including David Otunga as Silvia’s husband, Will, Gia (Aeriel Miranda), Jesse’s fiancee, and Carol (KJ Davis), AJ’s wife. 

AJ however is sleeping with Gia behind his brother’s back and this is how AJ happens to be on hand when his dad is found dead in a hotel room having suffered a massive heart attack while cheating on Viane with a family friend, Renee (Quin Walters). Now, what was planned as a happy occasion is now going to a funeral at which family secrets will be exposed and lives will be altered forever. 

In the other movie inside Madea’s Family Funeral, Madea (Tyler Perry) has been invited to the Anniversary party for Viane and Anthony. What relationship does Madea have to this family? Who knows, but her brother Heathrow (Tyler Perry) has invited her and her other brother Joe (Tyler Perry) and Madea’s pals Hattie (Patrice Lovely) and Aunt Bam (Cassi Davis) to come to this party and they’ve tapped Joe’s son Brian (Tyler Perry) to drive them to Atlanta. 

It’s anyone’s guess how Madea is connected to this family in Atlanta. This family has not been mentioned before in previous movies, specifically Madea’s Family Reunion, but that only matters if you are likely me and demand that a movie proceed with some sort of internal logic. Tyler Perry is not like me. Tyler Perry has no need of internal logic, plot, even characters are really only a suggestion of a series of broad traits. 

The entirety of the Madea portion of Madea’s Family Reunion could be removed from this film and it would not affect the plot whatsoever. Sure, Madea and her gang are also on hand when Anthony’s body is found, in S & M gear, in a hotel. We assume he’s in S & M gear, based on what we see, that was likely an on-set improv that Perry liked and left in the movie despite the lack of visual evidence at hand. 

The discovery of the fact that a father and, allegedly, a family friend has been found to be cheating on his wife and has been found dead by his eldest son in a hotel room with a family friend, in S & M gear, is so jarring that neither the comedy nor the extremes of dramatic emotions are allowed to land in any way. A man has just died but that doesn’t mean that wacky characters can’t do awkward, unfunny schtick like attempt to perform oral sex on the corpse in place of CPR. That’s a pleasant gag that exists in this movie. 

Tyler Perry, by the way, does not care for CPR. CPR makes Tyler Perry profoundly uncomfortable as he equates blowing air into a dying person’s chest with kissing and when the dying person is a man then it becomes a gay panic situation. Yes, CPR on a man is an occasion for gay panic jokes because being gay needs just a little more unnecessary stigma attached. Performing CPR means your sexuality is questionable somehow. Are we sure that this movie was made in this century? 

I get that Madea’s ‘political incorrectness’ is supposedly part of her charm but that charm is lost on me. Once, this character was a bizarre moral center of a movie universe. Then, Perry decided to change her backstory from a scolding southern grandma/avenging angel to that of a former gangster, prostitute, drug addict stripper who is also a wise old sage dispensing moral judgments from an unearned high horse. 

Whiplash is the lasting effect of a Tyler Perry movie. On one side is a serious family drama about lies and infidelity and the other side is a broad burlesque of elderly former criminals and drug addicts doing unfunny schtick. I thought it was bad when Madea wielded a chainsaw in the midst of the super tense drama about spousal abuse in Diary of a Mad Black Woman but at least at that point Madea was just a weird side note. 

Now that Madea is the center of the universe in Perry’s movies she’s become a monster lording her unfunny references to gang life, pimps and ho’s over the top of otherwise half baked but serious dramas. It’s the worst kind of mash up, as if an elderly version of rapper Lil Kim were dropped into the middle of a reboot of Parenthood. These two things don’t go together. The drama is half baked at best and the comedy is so broad and schticky it’s like the worst episode of Def Comedy Jam in history. 

I can see where the Madea character worked on a stage where the improv might feel organic and the setting might encourage such broad swings of tone but in a movie where editing and camera work and acting are necessary to the medium, this brand is ill-fitting. Perry’s style doesn’t mesh with the movies the way it, I assume, meshed with live audiences in the early 2000s when Perry developed the character of Madea on stages in church basements. 

Tyler Perry has allegedly stated that this will be the final movie in the Madea franchise and if that is the case, good riddance. I genuinely have nothing nice to say about the character or the movies. I don't understand the appeal and I never will. That said, I don't buy that he's done with this character. Perry has proven to be a mercenary filmmaker throughout his career and while he has plenty of money, I will need some convincing to believe he is walking away from his cash cow. 

Movie Review: Alita Battle Angel

Alita Battle Angel (2019) 

Directed by Robert Rodriguez

Written by James Cameron, Laeta Kalogridis

Starring Christoph Waltz, Rosa Salazar, Jennifer Connelly, Mahershala Ali, Ed Skrein, Jackie Earl Haley

Release Date February 14th, 2019

Published February 14th, 2019

Alita Battle Angel has been the dream of director-producer James Cameron for a number of years. While he’d placed the project on the backburner to focus on his Avatar franchise, Cameron never stopped loving Yukito Kishiro’s unique comic universe. Though he eventually walked away from directing Alita Battle Angel, Cameron can be credited for keeping the idea alive as a film property and that life is now realized with director Robert Rodriguez bringing Alita to the big screen. 

Alita Battle Angel is a CGI part live action adventure starring unknown newcomer Rosa Salazar as the titular Alita. Alita is a cyborg warrior who was found mostly dead and forgotten in a junkyard by Dr Dyson Ido (Christoph Waltz). Dr Ido put Alita back together inside the cyborg body that he’d once intended to give to his daughter. In this body, Alita is essentially, in many ways just a teenage girl but because of her cyborg heart, she has a quickness and fighting acumen that rivals any man. 

Slowly, Alita begins to regain her memory. After a particularly dramatic and violent moment in which she realizes she has serious violent tendencies, Alita remembers that she was once a warrior and now she wants to put that side of herself to good use as a bounty hunter. This is something Dr Ido strongly opposes but he cannot stop here. At the same time, Alita has also begun entering a romantic relationship with a flesh and blood human named Hugo (Keean Johnson). 

Both Hugo and Dr Ido have secrets that they are keeping from Alita, secrets that will be revealed and shape the early plot of Alita Battle Angel. It’s these secrets that tie in the other supporting players in this adventure including Chiren (Jennifer Connelly) a fellow doctor who takes a keen interest in Alita and the dangerous Vector (Mahershala Ali) who acts as the eyes and ears and event the occasional avatar of the film’s true big bad, named Nova. I won’t spoil the cameo of the big name actor who plays Nova as the film spoils it in remarkable fashion. 

Not spoil in the sense of revealing something too soon. Rather, the way this big name cameo is revealed is akin to something spoiled and rotting. This cameo reeks to high heaven. It’s an absolute laugh out loud stinker of the lowest calibur. The cameo comes along in an already faltering third act of Alita and provides a yawp of unintended laughter before becoming a highly problematic plot point as the film comes to a close. 

I won’t spoil the ending as even my negative review of Alita Battle Angel likely won’t prevent many from seeing it. Plus, I actually don’t hate Alita Battle Angel, not completely. The first two acts of Alita Battle Angel were unexpectedly emotional and compelling. Rosa Salazar is a young actor to watch. What she lacks in experience and chops she makes up for with confidence and energy. Some may find her enthusiasm cloying but I found it winning, for 2 out of three acts of the movie. 

I even admired the attempts at romance in Alita Battle Angel. Yes, there are odd questions that the main character raises as a cyborg teenage girl, many of those questions being deeply unsettling or creepy but nevertheless. That said, Salazar sparks well with fellow newcomer Keean Johnson and I liked the plot complications that Hugo brings to this story. In pro wrestling terminology, Hugo is what we call a tweener, a character somewhere between good and evil and teetering one way or the other. 

There is perhaps almost too much Oscar gold in Alita Battle Angel. The pedigree is darn near distracting with three Oscar winners, four if you count Christoph Waltz twice, one Oscar nominee, an unrecognizable Jackie Earle Haley, and a cameo from an Oscar nominee. Robert Rodriguez has stacked the cast with Academy faves in order to balance out his romantic leads, both newcomers who benefit from the Awards savvy supporting players. 

Even that amount of talent however, can’t save Alita from a third act that flies laughably off the rails. As Alita is fighting her way toward the biggest of the big bads in Alita Battle Angel, she makes choices that make little sense. She suddenly buys into a plot point regarding a warrior code that was not well established before in the plot. This is done for the purpose of plot convenience in the most obvious fashion. 

Jennifer Connelly and Mahershala Ali are then stranded in a classically James Bond moment where the fate of one of their characters is so achingly obvious that you can’t help but roll your eyes at the doozy of a cliché. At the very least, that plot has an unexpected and stunning visual payoff but that doesn’t change the nature of the embarrassing obviousness of that scene. And then the film ends without a complete resolution. 

Alita Battle Angel clips along for two thirds of the movie with a tremendous plot building strong complications with genuine stakes. Then, out of the blue, one of the main characters nearly dies, Alita nearly allows them to die and then, and then… well. I would need to go into serious spoiler territory to disentangle the nonsense that leads to this wholly unsatisfying end. I will only say that this abysmal third act ruined for me what was an otherwise enthralling and thrilling action adventure sci-fi romp. 

I was genuinely bummed when the movie began to falter. I could feel my heart sinking as the music of the final scene began to swell and it dawned on me that the film and these terrific characters would not have the chance to redeem themselves with a final battle sequence. Instead, I was left dispirited by a truly lame and misguided sequel tease. Ugh! Alita Battle Angel is two thirds of a really ripping adventure and one third of a bad Wachowski movie. 

(Sidebar: The Wachowski’s were the makers of The Matrix whose careers have been marked by remarkable ups like The Matrix and stunning failures such as The Matrix sequels and Jupiter Ascending. The final act of Alita sadly compares well to the worst of the output by visionary filmmakers quite similar to Wachowski’s in clout, status and popularity, Robert Rodriguez and James Cameron.) 

(Sidebar Sidebar: Yes, I know if I have to explain the funny-sad comparison it’s less funny but so be it, this parenthesized tangent is entertaining me even more than my insulting comparison.) 

(Sidebar-Sidebar-Sidebar: Then again, is a reference to the Wachowski's really so obscure that people need these sidebars? Perhaps not, but there is a lack of universality as to whether the majority of readers find a comparison to what I see as the worst of the Wachowski's, all that insulting.) 

(Si--- Okay, even I have tired of this.)

Movie Review Cold Pursuit

Cold Pursuit (2019)

Directed by Hans Pettier Moland

Written by Frank Baldwin 

Starring Liam Neeson, Laura Dern, Tom Bateman, Emmy Rossum, Julia Jones

Release Date February 28th, 2019

Published February 27th, 2019

Cold Pursuit is the latest attempt to prop up the old guy action star genre. The film is an exercise in silly violence and black humor that is rarely exciting and rarely humorous. Director Hans Petter Moland had more success perhaps the first time he made this exact same movie in Sweden under the title In Order of Disappearance. That film was also an exercise in the old guy action movie genre with Stellan Skarsgard leading the way and doing about as much as Neeson does here. 

Cold Pursuit stars Liam Neeson as Nels Coxman, a snow plow driver in the Colorado Rockies whose job is to keep one road open between a small skiing town and the outside world. Nels is popular in his small town where he has recently been named citizen of the year. Things however take an unfortunate turn when Nels’ son is killed by drug dealers. That’s what he believes happened, cops tell him that his son overdosed.

Being Liam Neeson and thus better than a police detective, Nels sets out to find the drug dealers and begins killing his way up the drug chain of command from the low level dealers who did the killing all the way up to the Denver based kingpin, nicknamed Viking (Tom Bateman). Viking is a cold-hearted killer who, though he employs flunkies for most of his dirty work, isn’t afraid to do some of his own killing. 

While Nels is searching for Viking, Viking is unwittingly searching for him while accidentally blaming a rival gang of Native American drug dealers for the murders that Nels is committing. This only serves to amp up the danger and the bloodshed while Nels flies under the radar for a while creating chaos and unwittingly fomenting the showdown between Viking and his hated rivals in the drug trade. 

Cold Pursuit is efficiently crafted and has a stark and striking setting. Director Hans Petter Moland has a leg up on this material as he did make this movie before. Moland is no stranger to the cold climate as his earlier movie was set in the barren, snowy outlands of Sweden. Moland knows that red blood against white snow is a strong visual as is steamy breath against moonlit darkness. These motifs aren’t exactly new but they are more effective than the silly story of Cold Pursuit. 

Liam Neeson appears as tired of his action movie persona as we are. His Nels may be a tough guy but his age is showing in the bone weary exhaustion in his face and manner. Neeson has spoken of retiring his action movie character but with the terrible, The Commuter, having made more than $100 million dollars at the worldwide box office it appears that only Neeson and film critics, like me, are actually tired of movies like Cold Pursuit. 

Just how tired is Liam Neeson? He disappears from the movie as if he needed a nap before resuming the plot. Partway through the second act, Nels goes offscreen while we follow the bad guys and their machinations against each other while they are unaware of Nels and his one man war against them. Tom Bateman, a British stage actor, is not a bad actor but since we don’t know who he is, he isn’t particularly compelling. 

A role like Viking needed a character actor, perhaps a younger Christopher Walken type. A Walken like actor could have transformed this character with his innate weirdness and oddball tangents. Bateman is playing the role with a good deal of energy and gusto but he’s far too serious. He’s approaching the material with a straight up bad guy performance and there is nothing special about it. The bad guy role is as perfunctory as the plot which literally ticks off a list of kill after kill with names on the screen that get crossed out as the movie goes on. 

I’m aware that Cold Pursuit was intended to have some black humor to it but none of the humor lands all that well. One example of the film’s approach to dark humor happens when Nels goes to identify his son’s body. As Nels waits awkwardly to make the identification we watch while a morgue table rises slowly from the floor to eye level. The table takes forever to rise and we are supposed to, I assume, find it hilariously awkward as the body of Nels’ son rises into the frame. 

Did you know that the brilliant Laura Dern is in Cold Pursuit? Of all of the sins of this perfunctory, forgettable, predictable action movie, casting Laura Dern only to treat her like some unknown day player is perhaps the film’s greatest sin. Why bother paying to have someone of Laura Dern’s stature when you have absolutely no interest in using her talent. Dern plays Neeson’s wife and after their son is killed her role is reduced to sulky resentment toward her husband before she just disappears. 

Movie Review: The Upside

The Upside (2019) 

Directed by Neil Burger 

Written by John Hartmere 

Starring Kevin Hart, Bryan Cranston, Nicole Kidman 

Release Date January 11th, 2019

Published January 10th, 2019

The Upside stars Bryan Cranston as Phillip, a billionaire who suffered a tragic accident that left him paralyzed below the neck. The bigger tragedy for Phillip though, was the loss of his wife who died from cancer not long after Phillip’s accident. Phillip’s top executive, Yvonne (Nicole Kidman) has just retrieved him from the hospital after he nearly died from what was implied as an attempt to end his life. 

Coming home, Phillip needs a ‘life auxillary,’ someone to feed him, bathe him, change his catheter, and drive him around. He doesn’t want the help but Yvonne insists. In the process of interviewing qualified candidates, Phillip meets Del (Kevin Hart) who has come to the interview just to get a signature on a form to show his parole officer that he’s been looking for a job. Del is the first applicant to treat Phillip like a human being, even if it just means that Del is rude to him. 

Over Yvonne’s stern objections, Phillip insists on hiring Del despite his complete lack of experience. This is a dark and grave decision as the implication is that Phillip hired him in hopes of Del’s incompetence and lack of care will end Phillip’s life. Del even goes as far as verbalizing this very point in a moment that actually really connected me with the movie. The honesty of this moment breaks the potential mawkishness of the film. 

The Upside could be an overwrought melodrama about overcoming the odds and a magical person who enters the life of someone in need and saves them. That’s still part of the narrative but it is rendered novel and entertaining by the dynamic between the characters and between the leads, Kevin Hart and Bryan Cranston. Hart and Cranston are terrific together as mismatched friends with Cranston seeming genuinely delighted by Hart and Hart dedicated to being Cranston’s friend. 

Director Neil Burger hasn’t had much luck in the feature film arena. His most well known movie, The Illusionist starring Edward Norton, was completely overshadowed the year it was released by Christopher Nolan’s The Prestige. Both were films about magicians. His other claim to big screen fame was part of the flailing and failing Divergent franchise. That said, he’s always shown glimmers of talent and The Upside indicates he has a talent for character pieces. 

The embattled Kevin Hart doesn’t do himself any favors with the level of gay panic he brings to The Upside. The gay panic gags that caused an uproar on twitter and caused him to leave the gig as Oscar host, gets a big set piece in the film when Del has to change Phillip’s catheter and can’t get over having to touch Phillip’s privates. It’s not a particularly funny gag and I’m not sure why it had to be in the film. That said, the audience I watched with found this set-piece hilarious. 

One unnecessary scene however, doesn’t dampen my enjoyment of the movie. Do I wish Kevin Hart would grow up a little? Yes, it would help this movie a little for him to improve himself and grow up but as for Del in The Upside, it’s a solid performance. The dynamic between Cranston and Hart is one I cannot deny. The film is quite funny at times even as the gags are very familiar. Smoking weed, hitting on women, prostitutes, cliches but Cranston and Hart’s genuine delight in each other is enough for me to put that stuff aside. 

I am most assuredly going easy on The Upside. The film likely doesn’t deserve my kindness but it gets it because I did have fun. The film has its heart in the right place. It has uplift and laughs and pathos. I may have been too familiar with the comic premises but I never stopped smiling because Hart and Cranston are so very good with each other. These two characters, based on a real life pair from France who were previously brought to the screen in the similarly feel-good, The Intouchables, are just really good characters. 

Hart and Cranston have a huge emotional and comedic field to play from dark humor to lighthearted fun. Director Burger then grounds the story with Kidman’s more serious performance and with Del’s redemption story from criminal deadbeat to a guy on the right path. Sure, he won the equivalent of a life lottery but I bought it. I bought Del and I bought Phillip and I cared about them. I laughed with them and that’s just enough for me to recommend The Upside. 

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