Movie Review I Am Number 4

I Am Number 4 (2011) 

Directed by D.J Caruso

Written by Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, Marti Noxon 

Starring Alex Pettyfer, Timothy Olyphant, Teresa Palmer, Dianna Agron, Kevin Durand

Release Date February 18th, 2011

Published February 18th, 2011

If the half baked Twilight novels can ride teenage Vampires and Chastity to box office bonanza why can't a half baked story about teenage aliens and chastity do the same. That is the unspoken origin story of “I Am Number 4” a supremely lame attempt to clone the success of “Twilight” by trading angsty vamps for angsty aliens.

Number 4 (Alex Pettyfer), alternately referred to as Daniel or John looks like any other handsome teenager but that Number 4 designation kind of tips off the fact that there is more to him than meets the eye. Number 4 is an alien being from the planet Lorian. He is hiding on earth with his warrior bodyguard, Henri (Timothy Olyphant), while he waits for his powers, known to his people as Legacies, to be revealed.

Meanwhile, his numbered brethren are being hunted down by the evil Mogadorians who destroyed Lorien. The Mogadorians have killed 1,2,3 and are now on the trail of Number 4. After nearly revealing himself as an alien living in Florida, Number 4 and Henri move to Paradise, Ohio where Henri hopes to find a human with important information.

In Paradise Number 4 becomes John and begins attending High School because the plot needs him to. At school John meets and falls in love with Sarah Hart (Dianna Agron, Glee). He also by chance befriends Sam (Callan McAullife), the son of the man Henri came to Paradise to find. What luck that Sam has what Henri needs, a rock containing a link between the remaining numbered Lorians.

You don't have to be a psychic to know that I Am Number 4 is building toward a showdown between Number 4 and Mogadorians and that he will likely win this showdown as many sequels ride on his 
winning. Director D.J Caruso brings a modest amount of skill to keeping us distracted from the inevitability of this plot but the material is too weak to keep all the seams from showing.

”I Am Number 4” is a naked cash grab; a supremely lame attempt to lure in “Twilight” fans for a new, easily sequelized, franchise built on iconic genre creatures, aliens instead of Vampires, and great looking actors who do little else than look good. Not to demean young star Alex Pettyfer too much. Pettyfer is a really handsome kid hamstrung by a part that doesn't offer him any challenge.

Pettyfer along with Glee star Dianna Agron and Teresa Palmer, who plays yet another numbered Lorian, Number 6 for those who care, are all great looking and if that were all it took to make a movie work they would have a real hit on their hands. Those of us however, who go to movies for more than just the ogling of pretty people will find “I Am Number 4” lacking.

”I Am Number 4” was the brainchild of legendary liar and literary fraud James Frey who has found another money making scam, young adult fiction. Under the odd pseudonym 'Pittacus Lore' he and co-writer Jobie Hughes have demonstrated just how easy Twilight has made it for hacks to crack the book biz these days. 

Take a legendary genre character, in this case aliens, throw them in a high school setting. Give them bullies and bad guys; teen angst and a little chaste romance and cook for 30 minutes. Bang! You've got a young adult bestseller just aching for a Hollywood adaptation. 

The cynicism pours from every scripted word of “I Am Number 4” and while I don't blame the young actors involved, everyone else in this production should be (but are not) ashamed of this movie. It's our fault for giving them such an easy in, it was our culture that allowed “Twilight” to thrive. As long as we don't ask for more than just pretty, stupid movies then “I Am Number 4” is what Hollywood is going to give us.

Movie Review: Zola

Zola (2021) 

Directed by Janicza Bravo 

Written by Janicza Bravo, Jeremy Harris

Starring Taylour Paige, Colman Domingo, Riley Keough, Nicholas Braun

Release Date June 30th, 2021 

Published August 21st, 2022 

Zola is a breath of fresh air in modern cinema. Based on a larger than life story from a Twitter thread, of all places, Zola tells a story of modern sexuality, female friendship, empowerment, and the American sexual marketplace in a suitably surreal fashion. The film was adapted and directed by Janicza Bravo, an exciting new filmmaker whose candy colored visuals are a lovely comment on the dark, almost neo-noir story she’s telling. 

Zola stars newcomer Taylour Paige as Zola, a waitress and part time exotic dancer, who meets and falls in lust with Stefani (Riley Keough), a customer at the Hooters style restaurant where Zola works. Whether or not the attraction between Zola and Stefani is sexual in nature is up to your imagination, however the film keeps the nature of that fluid in a manner that recognizes how so much of millennial culture is based on sexual fluidity. 

The surreally captured scene of Zola and Stefani vibing with each other crackles with tension and excitement and is a terrific set up for the story about to be told. Zola and Stefani exchange phone numbers and text messages and soon enough, Stefani invites Zola for a weekend of getting paid easy money, touring strip clubs in Florida. Stefani claims that she has a hook up who can get them stage time at a series of popular clubs for good money and Zola is eager for the money. 

Things, naturally, take a turn once the trip actually begins. Stefani has invited her boyfriend, a dupe named Derrek (Nicholas Braun), who is certainty in love with Stefani and blind to how Stefani truly feels about him. Also joining in on this journey is a man Stefani calls her ‘roommate,’ Zola has no idea what his name is. The roommate is played by Colman Domingo and he immediately gives off the impression that he is a bad dude. 

Zola is right to be suspicious as soon after they arrive at their cockroach infested Florida motel, the Roommate takes them to the club and leaves poor Derrek behind. He then books a separate room at a much nicer hotel and when the girls are done stripping, they are shown to this room where the real purpose of this so-called ‘ho trip’ is revealed. Zola must find a way to fend for herself while also looking out for Stefani, even if it is all Stefani’s fault that Zola is in this mess. 

The real A’ziah ‘Zola’ King was made to be a social media star. With her natural wit and charisma, it’s no surprise that her 2015 Twitter thread about this ‘ho trip’ to Florida became an immediate sensation. King captures the way young people talk in frank and uncompromising terms. She’s fully self-possessed and brilliantly detailed in her storytelling and that Janicza Bravo captures that unique, brash, and fresh voice so perfectly is what makes Zola the movie so remarkable. 

The movie makes sex work look borderline mundane and yet dangerous all at once. As Zola navigates this bizarre trip, taking mental Twitter notes the whole way, she is both a figure of motherly concern for Stefani and a very pissed off co-worker. Taylour Paige embodies the bizarre dynamic of Zola beautifully as her attitude tells us more than any dialogue ever could. Her suspicion of Stefani and her ‘roommate,’ her being completely over the whole sex work dynamic that Stefani has brought upon the trip, and her strong sense of self-protection and wit, are a refreshing way to experience a character. 

You might suspect a movie based on a Twitter feed would be thin and not particularly artful but you would be assuming wrong about Zola. Zola is brimming with wit and invention. It’s a frank and bitter dark comedy and simply a well told story from beginning to end. The characters are fascinating and the performances are uniformly brilliant, each bringing a different and electric energy to the movie. Taylour Paige is a revelation as Zola, a rare fully formed female character on the big screen. For such a young actress to be this assured and charismatic is a true wonder to watch. 

Then there is director Janicza Bravo whose work is the equal of her young star. Bravo has complete mastery of her aesthetic and a remarkably well placed confidence in her actors. Zola is an exceptional announcement of a new directorial talent. Based on this confident, smart, exciting movie you can't help but be excited about what Janicza Bravo will do next. 

Movie Review: Wallace and Gromit

Wallace and Gromit The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)

Directed by Nick Park, Steve Box

Written by Steve Box, Nick Park, Mark Burton, Bob Baker

Starring Peter Sallis, Ralph Fiennes, Helena Bonham Carter, Peter Kay

Release Date October 7th, 2005

Published October 8th, 2005 

Recently Aardman studios, home to the famous stop motion animation duo Wallace and Gromit and their plasticine cousins from the 1999 hit  Chicken Run, burned to the ground. The building and everything inside was lost. On the bright side however W & G creator Nick Park, while out on a worldwide promotional tour for the pair's first feature length film Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of The Were-Rabbit, had with him one of the many clay models of Wallace and Gromit used in the movie.

This guarantees that Wallace and Gromit, despite the tragic loss of their home, will be back again. This is wonderful news considering that their feature debut is a wildly entertaining kiddie flick with a great heart and a nice lesson wrapped up in a technological marvel of filmmaking technique.

The tiny English village home to the beloved duo of Wallace and Gromit is abuzz over the big vegetable festival. When I say big vegetable festival I mean BIG vegetable festival. All of the villagers are engaged in growing the largest veggies ever seen for Lady Tottington (voiceed by Helena Bonham Carter) and her family's 518th annual vegetable festival.

Unfortunately, the town has a bit of a rabbit problem. The cute and fuzzy bunnies of the world have converged on the town and only Wallace and Gromit and their pest control service, the cleverly monikered Anti-Pesto, can protect the town's giant veggies by employing Wallace's latest invention, the Bun-Vac, a vacuum powered device that allows W & G to collect all of the rabbits in a way that does not harm them.

Lady Tottington, hosting the festival at her massive estate also has a rabbit problem that requires Anti-Pesto's attention. Wallace and Gromit show up to take care of it and Wallace is immediately smitten. Lady Tottington has another suitor in the scheming jerk Victor Quartermaine (voiced by Ralph Fiennes), a hunting enthusiast with a mean dog.

The plot kicks in with yet another new invention of Wallace's, a mind control device that he hopes will change the minds of the rabbits from veggie-lovers to cheeseheads. Things naturally go awry and soon a very large rabbit, still very much a veggie lover, is terrorizing the countryside threatening to cancel the big festival. Can Wallace and Gromit track down this giant rabbit and save the festival or will Victor Quartermaine and his big game hunting get him first?

This lovingly crafted tale of friendship, vegetables and PETA friendly animal control is wonderfully realized with a fillmmaking technology that is truly astonishing. In a five year process the animators manipulated the characters movements frame by frame. On a good day three seconds of usable footage was a major accomplishment.

Augmenting the process with CGI effects Wallace and Gromit and their terrific supporting cast inhabit a magically realistic environment. So wonderfully crafted are the characters and sets in Curse of The Were-Rabbit that even the fingerprints occasionally found on the Plasticine characters are charming.

In his Oscar winning Wallace and Gromit short features, The Wrong Trousers and A Close Shave, director Nick Park developed a style of simple storytelling that is safe for kids without being condescending. Wallace and Gromit are lovable, fun characters that you want to watch and hope succeed in whatever adventure they take up.

The duo's feature debut is the perfect culmination of that simple style of storytelling combined with innovative technology and just plain hard work. Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of The Were-Rabbit is an extraordinary little film. The team at Aardman Studios is rivaled only by the computer magicians at Pixar in their combination of craftsmanship and storytelling.

For kids of all ages Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit ranks right up there with Finding Nemo, Shrek and Monsters Inc. as a modern animation classic. Not just for kids, however, because it is so well accomplished, so detailed and so wonderfully optimistic. When the Oscar for best animated feature is announced in March 2006, don't be surprised when Nick Park and co-director Steve Box make their way to the podium to collect yet another Oscar.

Movie Review 2 Days in Paris

2 Days in Paris (2007) 

Directed by Julie Delpy 

Written by Julie Delpy 

Starring Julie Delpy, Adam Goldberg, Daniel Bruhl 

Release Date May 17th, 2007 

Published May 17th, 2007 

Julie Delpy, so enchanting opposite Ethan Hawke in Richard Linklater's indelible double feature Before Sunrise and Before Sunset, brings that Linklater influence to her directorial debut 2 Days In Paris. No Sunrise/Sunset clone is this. 2 Days In Paris is similar in theme and content to her influences, but the characters she has created for herself and Adam Goldberg are wholly her own. Smart, funny, sexy and very French 2 Days In Paris unfolds the realistic twists and turns of a couple under the strain of a two year, where is this thing headed, relationship and a cross Europe vacation that concludes with a visit to Paris and a meet the parents situation unlike anything you've ever experienced, I would hope.

Marion (Julie Delpy) and Jack (Adam Goldberg) have been together two years and though they seem happy where they are, a couple can't be together two years without talk of the future looming overhead. They have spent the past two weeks all over Italy on what was supposed to be a romantic vacation. It has been romantic, occasionally, but Jack has been sick and Marion has been looking ahead to her visit home to Paris. They are laying over two days in Marion's old apartment, she keeps it though they live together in New York.

While there Jack will meet Marion's parents, Anna (Marie Pillet) and Jeannot (Albert Delpy, Julie's real father). Meeting the parents is always awkward but when you literally don't speak the language it can be interminable. Then there are Marion's friends, mostly men, some of them ex's. Naturally Jack is a little insecure and these being French men things get a little more uncomfortable, talk of sex is more open and every conversation is rich with flirtation and entirely in French. That language, so romantic sounding that even the most innocuous compliment sounds like poetry.

All of the strain of a foreign vacation, Marion's parents, Marion's past and Jack's insecurities finally comes to a head and we get scenes of exceptionally smart and wrenching dialogue between two people who communicate a depth and history to their relationship without having to explain it. The tiny jokes, the offhand insults, the little things that make a life between two people are the things that director Julie Delpy captures so beautifully. When we arrive at the more difficult conversations, the tough moments, we are not taking sides, rather we are invested in both characters and this relationship as if we had something at stake in them being together. That is exceptional work.

Adam Goldberg is an actor that can be difficult to take. His characters are all the same, neurotic, New Yorkers, constantly angst ridden and on the edge of an angry explosion. In 2 Days in Paris, as familiar as this character is, there is a little more nuance to it. Goldberg is more in control of his tics and mannerisms here than I've seen him before. He's a little more emotional and in touch with his feelings and though he still has that sarcastic armor that is his calling card, it's part of a richer character. As put off by his act as I'm sure some of you are, you will find it fits this character well.

As for the actress Julie Delpy, she is typically magnificent. I'm sure Ms. Delpy has made some bad movies but when she in her element, romance, France, she is ethereal. This character is more complicated and screwed up than the romantic heroine of Before Sunrise and Before Sunset so she must find different ways of getting us to root for her and somehow, even after some major meltdowns and questionable decisions we root for her and wish for her. It's a terrific performance made all the more impressive because she was directing herself.

Talky, provocative, smart and very funny, 2 Days In Paris is one of the movies I wish I would have seen before I listed my best movies of the year. It is that good. The influence of Richard Linklater has done well for Julie Delpy but 2 Days In Paris is her baby and it is quite beautiful. It is soon to be on DVD and you must check it out.

Movie Review I Don't Know How She Does It

I Don't Know How She Does It (2011) 

Directed by Douglas McGrath

Written by Aline Brosh McKenna 

Starring Sarah Jessica Parker, Pierce Brosnan, Greg Kinnear, Christina Hendricks, Kelsey Grammer, Olivia Munn, Seth Meyers 

Release Date September 16th, 2011 

Published September 17th, 2011

I Don’t Know How She Does It begins with the oddity of characters speaking directly to the camera about the main character, Kate, played by Sarah Jessica Parker. It’s done in a documentary style but the thing is, there is no documentary aspect to the movie. Essentially, this is a hoary device that the movie can rely on without having to explain.

I Don’t Know How She Does It is marked by this kind of sloppiness. This very typical romantic comedy flubs details repeatedly in order to reach the moments that it wants to reach; never mind the fact that the audience is not reaching those moments with the movie, but in spite of it.

Sarah Jessica Parker is Kate Reddy; super-mom. Kate works a big job as an investment banker yet still finds time for bake sales and birthday parties. Even though her job requires her to travel a lot, Kate’s kids and her husband Richard never want for her time and attention.

That changed a few months late last year–apparently the story is told in flashback though again, the structure is so sloppy–when Kate took on the biggest project of her career. Kate has landed a major meeting with Jack (Pierce Brosnan) from the New York office. When she nails the meeting, Kate finds herself busier than ever.

Screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna has long been fascinated by the ways in which women balance career and private life. Her script for The Devil Wears Prada turns on the question of work ambition versus life away from work. In 27 Dresses, Katherine Heigl’s character created a personal life at work only to find it was a fantasy.

In Morning Glory, Rachel McAdams’ TV producer was ready to dump her man because he refused to accept her dedication to her job. When I read that McKenna had written I Don’t Know How She Does It, I assumed this would be her thesis statement on the topic of balance between work and home.

Instead, I Don’t Know How She Does It is a sub-sitcom level comedy about a mess of a woman, her messy life and the boring complications foisted upon her by the conventions of a boring movie. The ideas that McKenna enjoys examining are there but they exist not as ideas worth discussing but as boring romantic comedy roadblocks.

The only interesting performance in I Don’t Know How She Does It, among a cast that includes Greg Kinnear, Busy Phillipps, Christina Hendricks, Seth Meyers, Olivia Munn and Kelsey Grammer, is from Pierce Brosnan. The former 007 is completely charming in I Don’t Know How She Does It and for a time, he elevates the plot from the cliched depths of lame romantic comedy.

I can’t say that I Don’t Know How She Does It is disappointing, as the trailers did little to instill confidence. However, I did hope that screenwriter Aline Brosh McKenna might sneak a few ideas into the film. Sadly, she failed and what we get is a mediocre sitcom pilot complete with storylines that could continue for endless banal weeks on any network or maybe Lifetime.

Documentary Review: Whitey The United States V James Bulger

Whitey The United States Vs. James Bulger (2014) 

Directed by Joe Berlinger

Written by Documentary 

Starring Whitey Bulger

Release Date January 18th, 2014

Published January 18th, 2014 

I sit here thoroughly depressed and deeply moved. Joe Berlinger's "Whitey: The United States of America V. James J. Bulger" has wrecked me. The case that Berlinger lays out against the FBI and aspects of the Justice Department is thorough, damning and terrifyingly true. That Whitey Bulger is a horrible murderous individual is not in question. How the government made use of Bulger during his time being a horrible murderous individual is as criminal as any crime Bulger committed. 

What are we to do when the people charged with enforcing our laws flaunt those laws. It's the question we've confronted since we first hired men to be police officers and prosecutors. That these, our most trusted individuals can be corrupted is not surprising. When these same men make criminals of us all through their actions however, it's not so much surprising as appalling and terrifying. That's what the FBI and the Justice Department did, they made criminals of us all under the guise of fighting a just fight. 

From the late 70's through the early 90's members of Boston's FBI and Justice Department aided and abetted the life of the murderer Whitey Bulger. Bulger, you see, was uniquely positioned to be of use to them as a supposed FBI informant. However, Bulger was not and never has been an FBI informant. Rather, Bulger's name as a criminal was used as a cover by lazy, venal FBI agents and Justice officials to gain access to members of La Cosa Nostra, the Italian mob. 

Placing Bulger's name on an informant list lent credibility to flimsy prosecution requests that indeed did lead to the capture and conviction of criminals equal to and greater than Whitey Bulger. Indeed, one could argue that while leaving Bulger free under the guise of being an informant to kill whom he pleased, may have saved more lives than Bulger's actions ever took. You could argue that if you were capable of the kind of evil calculus that made people like Whitey Bulger possible. 

Do the ends justify the means? That may be a question you ask. Lives were saved when evidence uncovered using Bulger's name put away members of the Anguilo crime family; the Anguilo's were killers just like Whitey. But ask yourself this: Who should decide who lived and who died? Who's to say that the lives saved by putting away the Anguilo's were worth more than the lives lost by those killed by Whitey Bulger and the members of his crime family. Members of Boston's law enforcement community, the FBI and the Justice Department made themselves into Gods and decided fates. What gave them the right? 

"Whitey" forces you to confront this question. "Whitey" demands that when you begin considering the math in who lived and who died by what murderous thug that you look into the eyes of the wife of Michael Donahue, a man killed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and explain why the life of her husband was mathematically convenient for American law enforcement. The facts are indisputable that if law enforcement had done its job Whitey Bulger would have been in prison long before Michael Donahue died. Whitey was allowed to take the life of Michael Donahue, husband and father, because Whitey's life made life easier for a group of lazy, fat, FBI criminals and Justice officials. 

It gets even more disgusting than the simple actions of a few corrupt FBI Agents and a few prosecutors however. Even after Whitey Bulger was captured and brought to trial last year, after nearly 15 years on the run, the Justice Department continued the deception and maintained their lie so as not to lose the tainted evidence they gained from his name. The supposedly heroic members of the Justice Department who put away one of "America's Most 10 Most Wanted Criminals," are perpetuating the crimes their predecessors committed because they don't want to confront the work that would be needed to clean up this mess. 

Prosecutor Michael Kelly who's been feted as much as anyone for his hard-nosed prosecutorial tactics in the Bulger case even goes as far as to attack the one heroic member of the FBI who tried to expose Bulger in the midst of worst criminal years and make him a target. Bob Fitzpatrick called Bulger's installation as an upper echelon informant into question in the early 80's and was shouted down before being drummed out of the FBI. When he tells this story in court, even as he is corroborating cases against Bulger, he is treated as a criminal for pointing out the corruption that allowed Bulger to be a murderous criminal for so long. Why? To maintain the convenient lie: That Whitey Bulger was an informant.

Documentary Review: American Meme

The American Meme (2018) 

Directed by Bert Marcus 

Written by Documentary 

Starring Paris Hilton, Josh Ostrovsky, Hailey Baldwin, D.J Khaled

Release Date December 7th, 2018 

Published December 7th, 2018

American Meme is a recent document on Netflix that tells the story of a group of people who are ‘internet famous.’ What that means essentially is that they have achieved a level of notoriety on Instagram that has reached a level that in some ways transcends our popular culture. The documentary was directed by Bert Marcus as a rather dim profile of these internet famous people other than an actual investigation of this truly bizarre phenomenon. 

The documentary opens on Paris Hilton. In case you perhaps thought that her pop culture profile had diminished since she hasn’t been on television in several years, Hilton is still out there and her medium of choice is Instagram where she has more than 50 million followers. The main takeaway from this short segment is how according to Hilton herself, her family is concerned about how much time she spends with her online fans, including allowing them to stay at her house. 

The film proceeds next, and briefly, into the life of Brittary Furlan who has made her life on social media. Furlan does characters, impressions and straight up goofy nonsense. The documentary captures her as she is first performing an impression of Paris Hilton and then sets herself up for a photo shoot in which she recreates a famous Beyonce pose while holding an oversized burrito. The scene ends sadly when she finds that a rival called The Fat Jewish has recreated the same pose. 

Josh Ostrovsky is better known as The Fat Jewish, don’t ask about the name. The film details mostly his pictures with his dogs and his love of Paris Hilton. The Fat Jewish was famous most recently for stealing bits from comedians and posting them on his Instagram as his own jokes but America Meme does nothing to cover Josh Ostrovsky’s controversial side. Instead they allowed him to play up how he managed to get invited to the Washington Correspondents Dinner and got a picture with President Obama. 

This vapid documentary is nearly nearly as vapid as the meme worthy people it portrays. Model Emily Ratajkowski shows up for a moment to talk about how she became famous in Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines video and then she’s gone. DJ Khaled is another celebrity featured talking about how he documents nearly every aspect of his life on Instagram. Everything from his breakfast, lunch and dinner to his successes as a rap music producer. 

The worst of those profiled is a photographer named Kirill whose fame is based basically on light pornography, not unlike Girls Gone Wild. Kirll’s interview is hard to watch as his obnoxiousness radiates through the screen. I don’t have a problem with nudity, I am not a prude, I just really don’t like this guy based off of the interviews in American Meme. Kirill has been repeatedly kicked off of Instagram until he finally changed his name to SlutWhisperer and suddenly the platform just let him be for whatever reason. At least the name indicates his obnoxiousness. 

Kathy Hilton is the only person who really comes off well in this movie. According to what is in this documentary, she never wanted this for her daughters. Based on this information, much of what became Paris Hilton’s infamy came without her mother’s influence. Kathy is portrayed not as some out of touch stage mom, but a reasonable and concerned parent who expresses genuine concern regarding the ways in which her daughter’s celebrity emerged. 

American Meme briefly flirts with something meaningful in both the relationship between Kathy and Paris and in dealing directly and honestly with Paris’s sex tape. Paris expresses genuine sadness  over how the tape came to be. When Paris talks about how the tape changed her life and prevented her from reaching her potential, it’s honestly moving. It’s hard to feel much sympathy for someone of such ludicrous privilege but I can say I did feel for her here. 

That’s about as close to depth as you are going to get in American Meme. The documentary is about the lowest form of modern celebrity. Instagram is this empty place full of self-involved, obnoxious people who have made ridiculous amounts of money for doing things that would have had them in detention in High School. Or there is Kirill who is basically a pornographer posing as a provocateur. 

If you are fascinated by the culture that your kids and grandkids are investing in, American Meme is kind of valuable in that way. It’s a cautionary warning to make sure that you are keeping a close eye on what your kids are doing on social media. Pay close attention to your kids and if they are following these people on social media, heed that and be afraid, be very, very afraid.

Documentary Review: Waiting for Superman

Waiting for Superman (2010) 

Directed by Davis Guggenheim 

Written by Documentary 

Starring Geoffrey Canada 

Release Date September 24th, 2010 

Published November 15th, 2010 

We should be ashamed of ourselves. The documentary “Waiting for Superman” from Oscar winning filmmaker Davis Guggenheim should make us all ashamed to look our children in the eyes. It’s our fault. We let this happen. Years and years of neglect and an inability to adjust to the times combined with an intractable group of teachers who we’ve allowed to slouch toward tenure have turned more than a third of the schools in the United States into what one expert calls ‘Failure factories.’

“Waiting for Superman” begins with an idealistic Davis Guggenheim looking back at the amazing, dedicated teachers he met while making his first documentary more than 10 years ago. A decade later Davis has kids and this fact has forced him to reassess his opinion of public schools. The fact is that with a little research Davis finds that the best place to assure his kids of a good education is a private school, even if this flies in the face of his liberal ideals.

Yes, Davis Guggenheim does not hide his political leanings, never has; he won an Oscar with Vice President Al Gore for “An Inconvenient Truth.” Politics aligns Guggenheim with the teacher’s union, a group whose funding of the national Democratic Party has lead to the party being called a ‘wholly owned subsidiary of the teacher’s union.’

Yet, it is also this union that is a big part of what is sinking our schools. A scourge of bad teachers shirking their duty to kids are leaving generations of our children unprepared for the road ahead of them. These teachers pass on kids who lack the skills needed to move forward only to get them out of their classroom. Then, this teacher is bounced from one school to another in the vain hope that the next bad teacher won’t be as bad as the one he/she replaced.

Not all teachers are bad and not all of our problems can be blamed on the teachers union but, Davis Guggenheim and “Waiting For Superman” make a persuasive case that teachers acting in their own self interest and union leaders who put bad teachers ahead of children, are driving schools into the ground to protect the jobs of teachers who deserve to be fired.

The best example of this in “Waiting for Superman” is found in Washington D.C, the single worst school district in the country. A reformer by the name of Michelle Rhee was named Superintendent in 2007. Her goal was to cut through the bureaucracy and move the millions of dollars that the district wasted on administration out to the schools. Once she began that shift; Ms. Rhee found that not only was bureaucracy dragging down D.C schools but an intractable union, braced by a tenure agreement was passing on generation after generation of unprepared and ill-educated children.

Michelle Rhee set about changing this as well and seemed to have a solution. She offered an exchange; teachers could get exorbitant pay increases, six figure salaries, if they gave up tenure.

Giving up tenure would allow the Superintendent to fire the failing teachers and reward the teachers who deserved it. The teachers union refused to even discuss the idea, giving up tenure would mean losing members and losing members equals losing power. D.C is the ultimate example of adults choosing their best interest over the interests of children. “Waiting for Superman” is not all criticism of the teacher union and the despair of lost children; there are heroes to be found here. Jeffrey Canada was an idealistic New York teacher who rose through the ranks to become an administrator in New York. Canada believed he could change the system that was creating so much poverty in Harlem, New York. Then he ran up against the teacher’s union.

Stymied by a union which wastes more than 100 million tax dollars per year on failing teachers, Jeffrey Canada moved to start a charter school, a non-union school that would select a small group of students and educate them in new and progressive ways. Jeffrey Canada’s Harlem Success Academy is changing the way kids are educated. Harlem Success Academy catches kids before they lose hope, before bad teachers rob them of their love of learning.

Jeffrey Canada is joined by other heroic educators who also have started charter schools and are showing astonishing results. In Texas and California; KIPP, Knowledge is Power Program, is delivering kids who are prepared to compete in the changing global economy.

In Los Angeles, Seed Academy is pulling kids out of impoverished homes and placing them in a boarding school that separates them from the violence, crime and apathy of the streets. Each of these schools has been around for nearly a decade and the results have been staggering. Unfortunately, thanks to the teacher’s unions, these charter schools can only take on a small number of kids.

Year after year these charter schools hold state mandated lotteries during which they choose 40 or 50 applications from hundreds of struggling parents desperate to rescue their child from the education system that, in most cases failed that parent in decades passed. Davis Guggenheim follows several families from Los Angeles to D.C to New York as they pray for a space in a charter school.

“Waiting for Superman” ends on a heart rending note as we watch several ordinary and sometimes extraordinary kids facing what could be the defining moment of their lives. If these kids do not get into Harlem Success, KIPP or Seed they will end up at failing middle schools and high schools. The most despairing example is an exceptionally bright, 6 year old Latina girl who if she loses out on the KIPP lottery in Los Angeles will be turned over to one of the worst schools in the country because that’s the district in which her struggling parents live.

These lotteries play like Sophie’s Choice on a massive scale. At one charter school we can save 60 students at another charter we can save 150 students and at still another charter we can save 10 or 20 students. Davis Guggenheim is very specific in choosing the families he chose to follow, kids who are in failing school districts who will end up at some of the worst schools in the country because of geography.

One might guess that only inner city schools are failing but that is not the case. Guggenheim travels to a posh suburban school in Silicon Valley that has nearly as many failing students as any inner city school. Even with a school that looks like a University parents are eager to get their children out and into a charter school that has shown an uncanny knack for sending kids to college and prepared to actually be in college.

This suburban palace school you see has a curriculum based on what is called tracking. Tracking is a system created during World War 2 and was meant to quickly identify traits in kids that could predict how their skills could be put to use in a very different workforce. The economic changes of the last 60 years have shifted the ground beneath us. We have evolved from a manufacturing economy to a thought economy that values a very different set of skills and yet schools continue tracking kids to jobs that are no longer relevant.

On the hopeful side, Guggenheim demonstrates quite clearly that kids are not failing in school, we are failing them. At Harlem Success Academy and KIPP and Seed, kids who in the past would have been written off as being incapable of learning or kids who would have been tracked into irrelevance and despair, are thriving and striving toward College and success.

“Waiting for Superman” is an act of bravery, a desperate cry for help and for change. It’s not about throwing more money at schools but about changing the way schools are set up. Teacher’s unions are protecting bad teachers for their own self interest and in doing so they are abandoning generations of kids to lives of despair, poverty and struggle.

We need to be embarrassed. We should be outraged. We tout the US as the greatest country in the world and yet we rank in the 20’s in terms of education worldwide. China, among others, is well ahead of us in math. When the companies in Silicon Valley go looking for Engineers they look to India because US schools are not turning out kids with the skill level to handle these exceptionally difficult and well paying jobs.

It is an embarrassment and an outrage. Republican or Democrat, you cannot watch “Waiting for Superman” and not come away outraged and ashamed. See “Waiting for Superman” and get involved in changing this abhorrent situation. There is still time to save several generations of kids but we must act now.

Documentary Review: Touching the Void

Touching the Void (2003) 

Directed by Kevin MacDonald 

Written by Documentary 

Starring Brendan Mackey, Nicholas Aaron, Ollie Ryall

Release Date December 12th, 2003

Published December 12th, 2003 

I am not much of an outdoorsman. I am especially not much of a climber, I once damn near killed myself on one of those plastic climbing walls, don't ask me how. So reading the book Touching The Void by Joe Simpson, detailing his unreal ascent from a mountain in Peru with a broken leg and a climbing party that assumed he was dead, was quite an experience. The book, however, is surpassed by this amazing docu-drama that combines the best of documentary filmmaking with re-enactments of what happened on that mountain in 1985, a story that was nearly never to be told.

In 1985, two friends from Britain were looking for a challenge. Having only been climbing for a little while Joe Simpson and his slightly more experienced partner Simon Yates felt they were ready for a real challenge and chose a large, snowy peak in the Andes mountain range in Peru. With a climbing party consisting of just them and another man, Richard Hawking, who remained at the base camp, the two made for the top of Siula Grande 21,000 feet high.

Climbing to the very top of the mountain was quite a challenge, especially with the constant snowstorms and freezing temperatures. However, Joe and Simon's real challenge would came on the way back down. Having made the peak in two days and looking down on the world, they were ready to go back to camp. There are no maps on the top of a mountain to tell you what is solid and what is just lightly packed snow. One false step and you could fall a long way. That is what happened to Joe Simpson.

Searching for the safest route to climb down, Simpson walked to the edge of a snow shelf to look over the side when the shelf broke and Joe fell. Thankfully he was tied at the waste with Simon but that was not enough to keep him from hitting the ground hard and breaking his leg. This is a serious injury at any altitude but on this high peak, in this weather, it's a veritable death sentence. Simon could leave Joe and go for help but by the time he could get to base camp (it's a three day walk back to the main road and still a few hours drive to get to civilization), it might be too late.

Simpson tells us that he would not have blamed Simon for leaving him and was in fact a little surprised that he didn't. Instead, they attempted a very complicated descent that put both their lives in great danger. Simon, using all of the rope they had, slowly lowered Joe as far as the rope would go. Then, he would climb down to where Joe was and lower him again. Having to cover some 20,000 feet of mountain with three hundred feet of rope, this took a while. They worked through the night, with no sleep and even colder temperatures.

Things get worse when another snow shelf causes Joe to fall, this time with Simon too far away to know what happened. Joe is dangling over the side of a snow shelf unable to reach the wall and brace himself. Simon is left to wonder if Joe has succumbed to the cold or blood loss from his injury and is forced to make a difficult decision that pits his life against that of Joe's. Should Simon assume Joe is dead and cut the rope, thus saving his own life? Or, hope that Joe is alive and can correct the problem and continue the climb? Simon's decision has been debated ever since among climbers and laymen alike.

What is most amazing about Touching The Void is the combination of documentary-style narration of Simon, Joe and Richard alongside actors Nicholas Aaron, Brenden Mackey and Ollie Ryall re-enacting the climb on the actual mountain in Peru and the slightly safer Alps. Yates and Simpson narrate the action, which shows that they survived this amazing ordeal and yet the action is so well-directed by filmmaker Kevin McDonald (Oscar winner for One Day In September), that the suspense is still palpable.

People have been trying to turn the book Touching The Void into a live-action feature since it was published in 1990. Sally Field had once been in line to direct the film with Tom Cruise as Simpson but something about this story escapes a traditional narrative. Invented dialogue and traditional movie structured storytelling just doesn't seem right for this.

Kevin McDonald's docu-drama approach is the clearly the perfect way to attack this material. The actors resemble Yates and Simpson so well and the situations described in the on camera interviews and voiceover so well rendered you can't escape the feeling of actually being there. You feel as if you are inside the memories of Yates and Simpson and that is a truly amazing feeling.

Documentary Review The Fabulous Alan Carr

The Fabulous Alan Carr (2017) 

Directed by Jeffrey Schwartz 

Written by Documentary 

Starring Alan Carr

Release Date May 19th, 2017

Published May 19th, 2017

Today, the name Allan Carr is not a name that rings many bells but in the 1970’s, he was one of the most famous Hollywood movie producers in the world. Known for his lavish movie premieres, Carr was a fixture on talk shows such as Merv Griffin where his flamboyant personality was as notable and entertaining as many of the movies he was supposedly on hand to promote.

The new documentary The Fabulous Allan Carr brings the famed producer back for another look at his unique legacy. Born in Chicago, Illinois in 1937, Allan Carr was always a little different from the other kids. From an early age he was fascinated by fashion and was friends with all of the girls and yes, these are the cliched traits of many gay men of Allan Carr’s time but nevertheless true as shown in the documentary.

With his lively personality Allan took to the High School theater crowd and found his first love in show business. With the help of his parents he rehabbed a Chicago Theater and booked shows with Hollywood legend Bette Davis, far from her heyday as an Academy Award winner but still a big name who, until Carr came along, was touring High School gymnasiums and small dinner theater outlets. Carr put Davis back on the stage and got his first hit.

From there, Carr parlayed a job booking talent for Hugh Hefner’s Chicago set television series, “Playboy Tonight” into a career in Hollywood. He began as an agent for big name clients like Ann Margaret who credits Carr saving her career by taking her to Las Vegas and helping create a lavish stage show that turned into one of the highest grossing acts in the history of sin city. Carr also produced Ann Margaret TV specials but it was on the big screen where Carr found his biggest success.

In 1978 Carr teamed with music mogul Robert Stigwood to create Grease. Based on a popular Broadway musical, Grease became a monster hit and propelled Allan Carr to the talk show circuit and fame well beyond that of many Hollywood producers. The Fabulous Allan Carr has wonderful interviews with Carr’s closest friends talking about the success of Grease and how it transformed Carr’s life.

If there is anything lacking from The Fabulous Allan Carr it is interviews with the stars that Carr worked with in his fabulous career. Despite his work on Grease we don’t hear from John Travolta or Olivia Newton John. There is an interview with one of The Village People who Carr worked with on the flop musical Can’t Stop the Music but no Steve Guttenberg or Katelyn Jenner, though Valerie Perrine does show up.

Then there is the most interesting flop of Carr’s career, the 61st Academy Awards. Carr was hired to produce the Academy Awards and wound up producing what is remembered as one of the biggest disasters in Oscars history. Carr was the man who came up with the idea of having Snow White sing Proud Mary with Rob Lowe in a disastrous opening musical number that cost millions of dollars and lasted more than 20 minutes to open the show.

The documentary hints that perhaps this number wasn’t all that bad and that Carr’s vision for the Oscars was something that had been maligned by history but the filmmakers do little to back up that assertion. Instead, the makers of The Fabulous Allan Carr dedicated several minutes to telling us that it was Carr who first had presenters use the phrase “And the Oscar Goes to…”, a notable anecdote but not exactly enough to make us forget Proud Mary.

Overall, The Fabulous Allan Carr is an interesting documentary for anyone who loves a slice of behind the scenes Hollywood. It’s worth checking out on-demand where it is available for rent from Amazon, YouTube, and Google Play services.

Documentary Review The Devil and Daniel Johnston

The Devil and Daniel Johnston (2005) 

Directed by Jeff Feuerzeig 

Written by Documentary

Starring Daniel Johnson 

Release Date March 31st, 2006 

Published August 20th, 2006 

There is a thin line between genius and madness. Daniel Johnston crossed that line with a combination of manic depression, fundamentalist Christianity, and bad acid trips. Somehow, despite his obvious mental deficiencies, Daniel Johnston became a cult legend as a musician and an artist and the line between genius and madness blurred to nothing.

In 1985 Daniel Johnston left his home in West Virginia to live with his brother in Texas. He soon disappeared and was later found to have joined up with a traveling carnival. The carnival led him to Austin, Texas, the iconoclastic home of one of the most eclectic music and art scenes in the country.

Johnston, carrying his self produced tapes and lyrics, made the rounds introducing himself, handing out his tapes, and blowing the minds of the Austin intelligentsia who saw something in him that most people did not. Johnston would go on to become one of Austin's most renowned characters and likely its most tragic.

His national profile is equally uncanny. Daniel Johnston once lucked his way onto MTV when the music channel's hip underground show, 120 Minutes, profiled Austin's music scene and Daniel simply showed up at the taping and soon found his way on to the stage. From there, in between trips to various mental facilities, Daniel Johnston's friends and acquaintances passed his legend on to anyone who would listen.

When Johnston’s manager set up a publishing label for him, bands like Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Sonic Youth lined up to cover his work. Curt Cobain brought Daniel his most consistent national exposure by wearing a T-shirt with a drawing created by Daniel Johnston on the MTV music video awards. Cobain subsequently wore the shirt in TV and magazine interviews for months on end.

Here is the odd thing I kept going back to as I watched the documentary, The Devil and Daniel Johnston, Daniel Johnston is clinically quite crazy. From a purely scientific standpoint the man's mind is out of his control. He has crazy visions of God and Satan, some of which he has copied down and sold as art. Daniel Johnston has the kind of grand delusions that would have most people lined up for lifetime commitment to a hospital. However, a random arrival in Austin and finding just the right oddball community of artists, finds Daniel Johnston a world renowned musician and artist.

I don't know whether I admire Daniel Johnston or pity him. Watching people like the members of Sonic Youth, who brought Daniel to New York to record with them, and people like Simpsons creator Matt Groening, talk about how much they love Daniel's music is very strange. If these same people saw Daniel Johnston singing on a street corner in New York or LA would they or anyone give him a moment's notice?

The music of Daniel Johnston is bizarre. At once unlistenable and strangely compelling. When Daniel Johnston is riffing at his best; his lyrical combinations are rather mind blowing. More often, however, listeners will find Daniel Johnston lost in his delusions and proselytizing about god and satan and the various voices in his head.

Daniel Johnston has a gift and absolutely no ability to master it. This makes him both fascinating and tragic. It makes the documentary about his life The Devil and Daniel Johnston one of the most compelling and thought provoking documentaries I have ever seen.

Documentary Review: Free Solo

Free Solo (2018)

Directed by Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

Written by Documentary

Starring Alex Honnold, Tomy Caldwell 

Release Date September 28th, 2018

Published September 26th, 2018 

Free Solo is one of the most strange and harrowing experiences I have had at the movies in 2018. This deification of free climber Alex Honnold which attempts to portray Honnold as a heroic figure and not a man with a death wish or a callous disregard for life, is also wildly, enthralling. Free Solo contains a full 20 minute sequence that is one of the most riveting of this or any year as we watch Honnold do something no one has ever done before and lived to tell. 

Free Solo introduces Alex Honnold as a legend already in progress. Among rock climbers, Alex is a God. Alex has made some of the most difficult climbs in history, all around the globe and all without the use of safety equipment. What Alex does is called Free Solo and it very simply means that he climbs mountains without the use of a rope, a harness or anything else that could keep him alive if he were to lose his grip and fall from hundreds of feet in the air. 

We meet a restless Alex as he is once again pondering an attempt at the most difficult Free Solo Climb on American soil. No one in history has completed a free solo climb of El Capitan in Yosemite National Park in California but Alex has had the idea to do it for some time. As Alex recounts in the documentary, he had been to ‘El Cap’ three years in a row with the intent of possibly making the attempt at a free solo, only to back out. 

Nerves are a rarity for Alex and we don’t really know what it was that drove him to abandon his previous attempts. Was he afraid? Did his research of the mountain, climbing with safety equipment, discourage him? Don’t expect to find out much about Alex’s thought process. A key scene in Free Solo has Alex undergo an MRI to see if his brain works any differently than normal people and indeed, his amygdala, the part of the brain that senses an emergency or fear, is less active than the average brain. So, we can rule out fear, for the most part. 

Were it not for Alex’s girlfriend, a non-climber named Sanni, we might not learn much of anything about Alex beyond his climbing exploits. He’s not a big personality, he’s not particularly charismatic, he’s friendly enough but if you were to ask about anything other than climbing rocks it’s easy to imagine his level of discomfort or disinterest in any other topic. Rock Climbing is everything for Alex Honnold and El Cap is the closest thing he has to a religious experience. 

Free Solo was directed by Honnold’s friends Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi and Jimmy Chin a married couple and fellow climbers who’ve been with Alex for a few years. They too have an obsession with climbing as their previous director effort was Meru which followed Chin’s ascent of the 4000 foot mountain climb in the Himalayas on a rock known as ‘the shark fin.’ Rock climbing, as portrayed in Meru and especially here in Free Solo is portrayed as pure obsession. 

There is a dark complexity to Free Solo that is inescapable for those of us in the audience. Free Solo at once is quite direct about the danger of free solo climbing and yet still manages to portray Alex Honnold as a hero. There is a sequence in Free Solo in which we hear about the number of people, some of whom are contemporaries of Alex, men he had admired and emulated who have died, falling from incredible heights during a free solo climb. 

Alex is almost indifferent to these facts. Alex is downright callous in his disregard of how these men died. The filmmakers are similarly unaffected by these scenes that they chose to include. They don’t so much as confront Alex with these men’s deaths as offer these men's’ lives as a plot point in order to demonstrate how incredible what Alex is doing truly is. It’s not hard to imagine that these scenes are in the movie simply to deflect the idea that they are simply making a hagiography of Alex that glories in his manly pursuit of his dangerous vocation. 

That would, at least, be a more honest movie. Instead, what we get is a movie that is rather dismissive of how dangerous free solo climbing is in favor of showing how cool free solo climbing is. Indeed, I cannot deny that free solo climbing is cool looking. I can’t sit here and pretend I wasn’t riveted with car wreck fascination over Alex’s climb, even as I knew he had survived it. Much like Nascar, we pretend that this is about the remarkable challenge but we secretly, darkly, are watching for something horrible that might happen. 

Do I recommend Free Solo? Yes, it’s undeniably compelling even as it is uncomfortably uncritical of how it glorifies an activity that will get more than a few people killed. Free Solo will inspire someone to want to try what Alex did. You could say this about a number of different movies but there is something more disquieting about Free Solo and how it appears to invite new daredevils to be the next Alex by making him a hero just for not falling to his death. 

The lengthy segment of Free Solo in which Alex Honnold is making his climb to the top of El Capitan is among the most exciting, unnerving and compelling scenes in any movie in 2018. There are very few words, just grunts and brief sounds updating the crew on where Alex is on the mountain. The crew is just as transfixed as we are and while the silence was certainly a dramatic choice, it was also because they are as absorbed in this sight as we are. These scenes are why I can’t dislike Free Solo even as I am uncomfortable with it. 

Movie Review: The Time Traveler's Wife

The Time Traveler's Wife (2009) 

Directed by Robert Schwentke 

Written by Bruce Joel Rubin 

Starring Eric Bana, Rachel McAdams, Arliss Howard, Ron Livingston

Release Date August 14th, 2009 

Published August 14th, 2009 

A movie involving time travel is, quite obviously, held to its own logical standard. The film will have every opportunity to establish its own universe and create logic that makes sense to its characters and gives those of us watching something we can invest in without spending all of our time questioning logistics.

The Time Traveler's Wife starring Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams blows up its own logic and loses much of the audience within its first 5 minutes. This dopey romance that wants to combine sci-fi conventions with The Notebook style melodrama fails miserably at every turn stranding a pair of terrific actors in the wake of one supremely dumb story.

As a little boy Henry DeTamble was in the backseat of his mother's car when suddenly they were in a spin and headed to wicked accident. Then just as suddenly Henry was standing on the side of the road naked. The truck that was to kill he and his mother roars past and then a man emerges from nowhere to wrap him in a blanket. The man is future Henry and he has repeated this scene numerous times.

Henry is a time traveler though he doesn't want to be. He has a condition that causes him to simply disappear and then appear, completely nude, somewhere in time. One place where Henry seems to arrive regularly is a field near the home of wealthy family. What draws him to this spot is a little girl named Claire who, in the future, will become Henry's wife.

Claire and Henry met repeatedly when she was little and up through her teens but when she finally meets Henry when she is in college, he has no idea who she is. This version of Henry has yet to meet Claire and the two share a very confused dinner encounter and some very unexpected, for Henry, intimacy.

Thus begins a very complicated romance and marriage. She wants a normal life and a family and he wants to give it to her but his many trips through time continue to interrupt their life. Can Claire and Henry make a life together despite his time traveling? Will you care by the end?

My description of the plot is far less ludicrous than the way things play out on screen. Director Robert Schwentke and writer Bruce Joel Rubin craft the story in a way that is a little like series television. Henry time travels. He has an encounter where he steals clothes confronts someone and then time travels again. The scenes are ike really dopey episodes of Quantum Leap limited to 2 minute lengths.

What the makers of The Time Traveler's Wife want is for us in the audience to fall for the romance and not notice the many, many logical compromises and outright creepy weirdness that are part of the whole time travel conceit. Henry's encounters in the past and future set up questions about the timeline of his life and Claire's that the movie has no intention, or is it ability, to answer.

When it comes to the subject of Henry and Claire's trouble having children, more unwanted questions arise. And still more questions when Henry and Claire finally have a child and she (Tatum and Hailey McCann play the daughter at different ages) has Henry's talent for time travel.

The logistical questions go from awkward to bizarre to just plain creepy by the end of the movie and then the film manages to find an ending that is even more outlandish and will send audiences home shaking their head. All I will say is, pay attention to Claire's father who is shoehorned into a subtextual role in the movie that really makes very little sense.

Foolishness abounds in The Time Traveler's Wife. Some of it is of the so bad it's funny variety. Most of it is just plain dumb.

Movie Review: The Ugly Truth

The Ugly Truth (2009) 

Directed by Robert Luketic

Written by Nicole Eastman, Kristen McCullah Lutz, Kristen Smith

Starring Katherine Heigl, Gerard Butler, Eric Winter, John Michael Higgins

Release Date July 24th, 2009 

Published July 25th, 2009 

I am a big fan of Katherine Heigl. She was pitch perfect as the hot girl romancing regular guy Seth Rogan in Knocked Up. And in last January's 27 Dresses Heigl brought energy, warmth and life to stale romantic comedy conventions. I'm sure she had similar intent when she decided to make The Ugly Truth.

Sadly, we all know about the path of good intentions. Katherine Heigl and co-star Gerard Bulter and director Robert Luketic certainly didn't set out to make a movie as blazingly awful as The Ugly Truth but at some point their good intentions were no match for dimwitted plotting and bizarrely misogynistic B.S that passes for character development.

In The Ugly Truth Katherine Heigl is a control freak Morning TV Producer whose show is in the tank. It is, for no good reason at all, hosted by a married couple (the wasted comic talents John Michael Higgins and Cheryl Hines) who bicker on an off the air, on the air somewhat more pleasantly.

The show is on the verge of being cancelled for Jerry Springer reruns when the station boss hires the boorish host of a misogynist cable access show. He is Gerard Butler and while he burps and cusses and calls women names we know he's a good guy deep down because he loves his conveniently placed, toe-headed nephew.

You don't need a map or even a pair of glasses to see where this plot is headed. She needs a good roll in the hay to get loosened up and he needs a good woman to reform his bad boy tendencies. Knowing this, the movie needs to invent believable and funny reasons to keep them apart. Unfortunately, believable and funny are both well out of this dimwitted movie's grasp.

The creaky, leaky plot of The Ugly Truth has Butler's bad boy playing Cyrano for Heigl's clutzy control freak so that she can land the man of her dreams, the supremely bland soap star Eric Winters. His method for getting the guy is advising Heigl to laugh at all of her man's jokes, wear tighter fitting clothes and fellate a hot dog.

Basically, she should indulge the ugly tendencies that all men have toward women but most try to hide behind manners and civility, two more qualities this movie could have used along side being funny and believable. Oh, that bit with the hot dog? That is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the low humor and generally foul behavior that passes for humor in The Ugly Truth.

Struggling through the morass of romantic comedy cliche and ugly low brow humor, The Ugly Truth lives up to half of its title, this is one ugly movie. The truth is that Katherine Heigl is far too talented to waste her time with this kind of trash. Kath? Fire your agent, or whoever advised you to even listen to The Ugly Truth.

Movie Review: Warrior

Warrior (2011) 

Directed by Gavin O'Connor

Written by Gavin O'Connor, Anthony Tambakis, Cliff Dorfman

Starring Tom Hardy, Joel Edgerton, Nick Nolte 

Release Date September 9th, 2011

Published September 9th, 2011

I can imagine the pitch meeting for "Warrior;" it was likely the easiest sell in a long time. Producers likely walked up to a studio executive and promised two "Rocky" movies in one and walked away with a green light. Yes, "Warrior" is two "Rocky" movies in one as Tom Hardy's war hero and Joel Edgerton's physics teacher are both underdogs who overcome the odds for the chance to fight the big fight.

Tommy Riordon (Tom Hardy) is a former war hero attempting to stay out of the lime light. In returning home to Pittsburgh, Tommy seeks out his formerly alcoholic father, Nick Nolte, for a favor. Tommy wants a trainer for a major Mixed Martial Arts tournament and while his father was an abusive drunk who drove Tommy and his mother to run away, he was a great trainer.

Unknowingly on the same track is Tommy's brother Brendon (Joel Edgerton). A popular High School physics teacher, Brendon is facing the loss of his house if he can't come up with some extra cash. Against the wishes of his worried wife (Jennifer Morrison), Brendon returns to the world of Mixed Martial Arts to make some quick cash.

Lingering in the near future is a major Mixed Martial Arts tournament with a multi-million dollar prize. The trailer for "Warrior" has spoiled what happens in the tournament but trust me, you will still be compelled by the action captured by director Gavin O'Connor who makes the action of MMA both brutal and yet safe for all audiences; the film is rated PG-13.

There is a surprisingly soft middle to "Warrior." The family drama involving the brothers and their dad and Brendon and his wife is an easy, pushy kind of drama that states quite clearly how the audience is supposed to react to what is being presented. For me, this type of drama is irksome, others don't mind having movie think for them.

The difference between a good movie and a great movie often lies in the attention to detail. Great movies take care to avoid even the tiniest logical inconsistencies. Good movies allow a few things to slide in the hope that the big dramatic moments will make audiences forget about the flawed moments.

The flaws in "Warrior" prevent it from becoming a great movie. The problems are in the details such as the fate of Brendon's job and Tommy's leaving the military. There are others as well and each of the issues detracts from what could be a very good sports drama.

"Warrior" could have been a contender. A little more care to sure up the minor cracks in the film's logic and we could be talking about a serious Oscar contender.Tom Hardy is so phenomenal and his performance is so authentic that he nearly wills "Warrior" toward greatness. It's a shame that he is undercut by drama that doesn't trust his ability to compel us without needing to signal the audience how to feel.

Movie Review I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With

I want Someone to Eat Cheese (2007) 

Directed by Jeff Garlin

Written by Jeff Garlin

Starring Jeff Garlin, Sarah Silverman, Bonnie Hunt, Mina Kolb

Release Date September 5th, 2007 

Published September 25th, 2007 

If Hollywood won't cast you as the lead in a movie, make your own. That is what comedian and Curb Your Enthusiasm cast Jeff Garlin has done. I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With is Garlin gathering his friends, mostly from Chicago's Second City Comedy troupe, and making a movie that he can star in. Garlin produced, wrote the screenplay and directed I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With and it has the breezy, good natured tone of friends getting together to chat and make each other laugh. If the film occasionally strains for the laughs or goes just slightly over the top, it's okay because we like these characters and we especially like Garlin.

James (Garlin) has 3 very distinct problems. First is his weight, when we meet him he is outside a convenience store gorging on junk food and milk. Later he sneaks out of an overeaters anonymous meeting to go for ice cream. Next is the fact that at 39 he still lives with his mother (Mina Kolb). And lastly is his career where opportunities are beginning to dry up. Refusing to leave Chicago for Los Angeles, where there are far more jobs for a working actor, James is biding his time with the Second City Improv troupe as he awaits another opportunity.

James feels however that these problems would mean a whole lot less if he just had someone to eat cheese with, a cute metaphor invented by Beth (Sarah Silverman) as she and James observe a couple in the park sharing wine and cheese. James thinks that maybe he could share some cheese with Beth but she's a little crazy. When they meet she immediately frightens him with blunt sex talk. Later she invites him along as she shops for underwear. Is she toying with him or does she have real interest in him? We really can't tell. Then there is Stella (Bonnie Hunt) a school teacher who James runs into repeatedly and despite obvious chemistry, James fails to recognize the real possibilities with her.

The film sets up two distinct options for James and though one seems obviously right and the other obviously wrong, we are ok with James' mistake. It's a natural, human mistake and we have faith it will be corrected by the end of the film's very brief 80 minute runtime. Garlin's skill is not great romantic comedy but rather finding comedy in the everyday, mundane actions of the lives of these characters. The conversations, the rhythms of the everyday are organic and familiar in a friendly way. Especially funny are the conversations between James and his best friend Luca, played by David Pasquesi. Garlin and Pasquesi have been friends for years, from their time in Second City, and the natural rhythm of their conversations definitely shows.

There are awkward moments. Amy Sedaris has a cameo as a school guidance counselor that feels a little under-rehearsed. Also Sarah Silverman at times pushes past just being a little shocking and into off-putting territory. Again, a little bit too much improv likely leads to a little too much freedom and Silverman goes over the top. I still believed the character, because I know a number of shocking and slightly nuts gals, Silverman just takes it a little too far in one or two scenes. On the other hand, I did love Garlin's reaction to these awkward moments. His discomfort with her open sexuality is very sweet. Rarely do we get characters who don't just resist being a lech but really try to avoid the impression of a lecherous thought.

Charming, easygoing, with some really big laughs and a number of minor chuckles, I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With is a real delight.

Movie Review: The Whole Ten Yards

The Whole Ten Yards (2004) 

Directed by Howard Deutch 

Written by George Gallo 

Starring Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Amanda Peet, Natasha Henstridge 

Release Date April 7th, 2004

Published April 7th, 2004 

The Whole Ten Yards is the perfect example of why we hate most sequels. Whereas sequels such as the Star Wars episodes, Matrix or Kill Bill Volume 2 are natural extensions of their originators, most sequels are greedy attempts to capitalize on a previous success. The Whole Ten Yards would not exist without the success of the first film, it exists solely because of the greed of the producers and has no artistic aspiration whatsoever.

Rejoining the story of dentist Oz Oseransky (Matthew Perry) and his wife Cynthia (Natasha Henstridge), we find the happy couple in Los Angeles where Oz has fortified there home. He skittishly awaits mob reprisal for the death of Yanni Gogolak (Kevin Pollak). Cynthia is terribly annoyed of Oz’s constant fear and longs for the adventurousness of her ex-husband Jimmy “The Tulip” Tudeski (Bruce Willis).

Unknown to Oz, Cynthia has been in contact with Jimmy who is hiding out in Mexico with his new wife Jill (Amanda Peet). The two have settled into domesticity with Jill doing the contract killing and Jimmy becoming Martha Stewart. However it might be that Jimmy’s new attitude is all a ruse as he and Cynthia concoct a plan centered on the prison release of mob boss Lazlo Gogloak (Yanni’s brother, also played by Kevin Pollak). There’s something about Lazlo having $280 million dollars and Jimmy and Cynthia inventing a way to steal it, but the plot and the film as a whole are horribly convoluted.

Director Howard Deutch knows bad retreads having directed unnecessary sequels to Grumpy Old Men and The Odd Couple. Deutch brings nothing new or interesting to his work in The Whole Ten Yards except a relaxed attitude toward improvisation by his cast. The cast must have needed the improv if only to entertain themselves.

The cast is the film’s one strength. Perry, Willis, Henstridge and Peet have great chemistry and obviously enjoy working together. The obviously improvised moments are far funnier than anything in the script is. Amanda Peet is especially wonderful as Jill who is desperate for her first real contract killing after a number of spectacular failures. Peet was the best thing about the first film as well, which many people will only remember for her spectacular breasts.

Thanks to the cast, The Whole Ten Yards is not a complete disaster. Sadly, even as talented as the cast is, they can’t save this threadbare comic premise. They especially can’t overcome the obvious cynicism behind the film’s creation. I’m giving the film a four, one star for each of the principle cast members.

Movie Review Juno

Juno (2007) 

Directed by Jason Reitman

Written by Diablo Cody

Starring Elliott Page, Jason Bateman, J.K Simmons, Allison Janney, Jennifer Garner, Michael Cera

Release Date December 5th, 2007

Published December 4th 2007

We've seen movies with smart ass motormouths and quick to quip teens. What separates Juno from characters of our recent, acerbic past is a performance by Ellen Page that simply rings truer than other similar performances. Page's Juno plays like a real teenage who happens to be savvier than most of the people she meets.  

Juno (Elliot Page) is just 16 but she has that typically movie worldliness that seems so rare in real life. Quick with a quip, Juno's wit belies a vulnerability that comes out when forced to confront her real feelings for her good friend Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera). Juno and Paulie had danced around their feelings for each other in typical teenage gamesmanship until one night when each took things further than expected.

The sex was the kind that teenagers often experience, fumbling yet transformative on an emotional level. There is no real sex scene in Juno but visual and verbal allusions tell us all we need to know about the encounter. More important to the movie is the result of the brief encounter, Juno is pregnant.

Now she must tell her parents, Dad Mac (J.K Simmons) and stepmother Bren (Allison Janney) are both relieved and disappointed. The relief is that Juno hasn't been arrested or expelled from school, their initial suspicions when Juno when Juno sat them down for a talk. Their disappointment, typically parental, are concerns about her future and that of the unexpected grandchild.

After a brief flirtation with the big A, Juno is put off by a lone protester who tells her her baby already has fingernails, leads Juno to a more unique solution. The local Nickel Saver flyer has real advertisements for couples seeking babies. There Juno finds Mark (Jason Bateman) and Vanessa (Jennifer Garner) a well to do yuppie suburban couple who seem like the perfect fit.

Looks are deceiving however as Juno bonds with Mark, a frustrated musician turned jingle writer, who longs for the days when it was just him and his band and his music. Meanwhile baby fevered Vanessa puts off all around her with her baby preparations and constant nervousness over whether Juno will actually give up the child.

Writer Diablo Cody and director Jason Reitman wring some real surprises out of these characters whose lives unfold in a most unique and engaging manner. Holding it all together is Page's Juno whose vulnerability behind the quick witted bravado is the heart of the picture.

Page more than deserves the Oscar nomination she was recently rewarded with. The layers she brings to what could have been an overly familiar, too smart for her own good, teenage adult are quite surprising. The acerbic teen in movies more often than not sounds like a mini-adult with the writers of Seinfeld whispering in their ears. Juno too is quick with the quip but somehow Elliott Page makes it feel real.

She is aided greatly by a skilled supporting cast; that seem just the type of people who could bring about a personality like Juno. J.K Simmons as Juno's dad may not be hip and his wit is not as cutting as his daughters but his befuddled skepticism and earnest curiosity give a definite idea of where Juno came from. Especially when it's combined with the no nonsense toughness and good heartedness of Juno's stepmom played brilliantly by Allison Janney.

And then there is the exceptional Michael Cera who captures the awkwardness of youth like few actors we've ever seen. His Paulie is quirky and weird and clumsy but true hearted and in love with Juno whether she is willing to see it or not. The relationship is a near perfect depiction of teenage love, unlike anything we've seen before.

Juno and Paulie are not Dawson's Creek characters who say all the right things all the time or seem understanding beyond their years. This is how real teenagers express their love with metaphoric hair pulling and subtext filled bickering because they can't express or understand their true feelings. The love is clumsy and faltering and so very true.

It is at once astonishing and not all that surprising that all involved are so very young. For director Jason Reitman Juno is only a second feature. This is writer Diablo Cody's screen debut and for star Elliot Page, they are  almost a veteran appearing in their third feature outing following the well reviewed indie Hard Candy and the big budget actioner X-Men: The Last Stand.

It is their youth that invigorates Juno and gives the film its truth. They know these characters and this situation because they are so very close to them in terms of experience and age. Youthful exuberance is what enlivens the whole of Juno and makes it such a pleasure to behold.

I would be remiss if I did not also praise the soundtrack of Juno, so sadly overlooked by Oscar. The music of Juno is integral to the drama without ever overshadowing it. Nor does the music act as Greek chorus, Reitman and music supervisor Peter Afterman make near perfect use of both classic pop/alternative and newer music from bands like Belle and Sebastian and The Moldy Peaches.

The Peaches song "Anyone Else But You" provides one of the years great music moments, a coda to the film perfect in it's subtlety.

Movie Review Knight and Day

Knight and Day (2010) 

Directed by James Mangold

Written by Patrick O'Neill 

Starring Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Peter Sarsgard, Viola Davis, Paul Dano 

Release Date June 23rd, 2010 

Published June 22nd, 2010

Despite repeated bashings in the media, Tom Cruise remains one of the biggest stars in the world. While his image took hits due to what some called bizarre behavior (couch jumping) his appeal to audiences hasn't seen much of an effect. It would be easy to point to his time as an United Artists movie executive and the modest flop Lions For Lambs as symbols of Cruise's slipping star power.

For that narrative to fit however you have to ignore his next film Valkyrie, a real dog of a movie that Cruised past 200 million dollars at the worldwide box office. The fact is, as much as so many in the media seem to want to write him off, Tom Cruise remains one of the last true movie stars and his new movie Knight and Day co-starring Cameron Diaz and directed by James Mangold is ready to prove it once again.

In Knight and Day Tom Cruise plays Ray Miller a super spy on the run with a much sought after item. What this item is doesn't really matter. What matters is that he has it and others want it. Ray needs to catch a flight for Boston and aware that he's being followed he takes advantage of a fellow Boston traveler, June Havens. Stashing this hidden item in her bags and then recollecting it after slipping through security, Ray had hoped he'd seen the last of this beautiful but innocent woman.

No such luck however. The bad guys assume she's with Roy and soon she too must go on the run with Ray and the McGuffin. For the uninitiated, the McGuffin is a Hitchcock creation; it's a plot device motivating characters from one scene to the next with their desire to capture the coveted McGuffin. In Knight and Day it's some all-powerful battery, in Casablanca it was letters of transit, in Pulp Fiction a suitcase filled with gold. You get the point the McGuffin doesn't really matter.

What does matter? Setting up two clever, charming, attractive characters and allowing them to be clever charming and attractive as stuff blows up real good all around them. Director James Mangold is well aware of the formula and sets about staging massive chase scenes and explosions while relying on Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz to charm the audience into not caring about the obvious lack of originality and invention.

Knight and Day is nothing more than a very typical summer action movie but it gets past the been there, done that factor thanks to a pair of leads who know how to push an audiences buttons. Cruise is all smiles and splendid, comical calm amidst the chaos of Knight and Day while Cameron Diaz is gorgeously goofy delivering her magical combination beauty and gangly slapstick.

Both Cruise and Diaz are all charm and Knight and Day succeeds as both an action movie and a comedy because of the clever ways each star holds the screen by reminding us how much we've always liked them. Who cares about how much of Knight and Day is derivative of other action comedies; those movies didn't have Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. Haters be damned, Tom Cruise remains one of the biggest stars in the world and Knight and Day is only the latest example.

Movie Review: Transformers Revenge of the Fallen

Transformers Revenge of the Fallen (2009) 

Directed by Michael Bay 

Written by Ehren Kruger, Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman

Starring Shia LeBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson, John Turturro

Release Date June 24th, 2009

Published June 23rd, 2009

As a kid I was a big fan of Transformers. Looking back now as an adult I marvel at the idea: Wow, I was one weird kid. Transformers is one goofball concept. Talking, alien robots come to earth in search of ancient energy and disguise themselves as everyday cars, trucks and electronics.

This concept raises numerous logical questions, not the least of which is: Why would giant alien robots need to pretend to be everyday objects? You're a giant alien robot, why are you disguised as an Ice Cream Truck or a tape player? Identities taken on by a pair of alien robots.

The goofball premise becomes even goofier in the live action movie and sequel Transformers and Transformers Revenge of the Fallen. Adding Shia LeBeouf, Megan Fox and a couple of wacky parental figures for comic relief, director Michael Bay takes a bizarre concept and makes it even more bizarre.

When we last saw the Autobots, good guy alien robots lead by Optimus Prime, they had stopped the evil Decepticons, lead by the evilest of evil alien robots Megatron, from obtaining something called the All Spark. Now, the Autobots and their human friends are prepping for war with the Decepticons once again, this time over something called Energon. Riveted yet?

The key to finding or rather creating energon, maybe, I'm not sure, is inside the mind of college bound Sam Witwicky (shia LeBeouf). It was Sam's seemingly random purchase of a rundown yellow camaro that lead to mass warfare when it was revealed that his car was really the alien robot protector bot Bumblebee. Sam making this discovery automatically drafted him and the girl of his dreams Mikaela (Megan Fox) into the war between Alien robot races.

Now, Sam has a map imprinted in his brain that will lead to the discovery of energon, or something. The Decepticons want to open up Sam's brain and remove the information while Sam needs to lead the Autobots to the energon to stop them.

If that plot doesn't grab you then you should probably skip Transformers Revenge of the Fallen because at 2 hours and 45 minutes you will have to want to be invested in this plot. You will have to work very hard not to be bored or put off by this exceptionally over-complicated and lame plot.

Worse yet are the juvenile, amateur hour attempts at humor. Sam's parents played by Kevin Dunn and Judy White are used as comic filler, first doing a variation on the comic strip Bickersons and then a really odd stretch where mom is whacked out on drugs. None of this has anything to do with alien robots and yet it's in there.

Then there is the robot who speaks jive. The robot who speaks through classic songs on it's car radio and the robot with giant robot testicles. Yes, testicles. Are you laughing yet?

As much as I loathe most of Transformers Revenge of the Fallen even I cannot deny the technical mastery on display. Director Michael Bay cannot tell a good story to save his life  but his special effects work is some of the best in the industry. Optimus Prime is a mind blowing special effect that in a better more daring story would be the lead character.

Here is a sidekick to a group of forgettable human caricatures and one exceptionally beautiful woman. This relegation to the background makes him bland as a character but still extraordinarily rendered. When he is onscreen, especially in battle with the Decepticons, Prime is the kind of star you build movies around.

All of the alien robots are remarkably works of CGI effects. As characters they mostly stink. That however, they have in common with their human counterparts. Shia LeBeouf is a nice actor with a good deal of charisma but his only real character development comes in being in better physical shape than in the first film, the likely result of having to literally run from one special effect to the next, from one on set explosion to the next CGI green screen robot.

There is no denying Michael Bay is a master of effects. If that is appealing enough for you, then see the movie, you might be satisfied. If however, you require a well told story with your massive special effects forget Transformers. See Star Trek a special effects movie that actually bothers to tell a story in between CGI explosions.

Relay (2025) Review: Riz Ahmed and Lily James Can’t Save This Thriller Snoozefest

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