Movie Review Body of Evidence

Body of Evidence (1993) 

Directed by Uli Edel 

Written by Brad Mirman 

Starring Madonna, Willem Dafoe, Ann Archer, Joe Mantegna 

Release Date January 15th, 1993

Published January 16th, 1993

Body of Evidence is a movie so lurid and sleazy it has a scent. I imagined while watching this 'erotic' thriller that Body of Evidence carried the scent of unwashed bedsheets, body odor, and bad cologne. And maybe a hint of Scotch. Body of Evidence would make a make a poor advertisement for Smell-O-Vision, that's for sure. Watching Madonna and Willem Dafoe in various states of extraordinary nakedness, at the height of their beauty and uniqueness respectively, may not seem so bad until you watch the way director Uli Edel captures this image and makes you feel guilty for even considering enjoying it. 

That Body of Evidence was released to the popcorn munching masses in 1993 is indicative of where we were as a society. In 1993 it was somehow acceptable for filmmakers, almost exclusively male, to spend millions of dollars bringing their very specific masturbatory fantasies to the big screen. Today, we somehow have come around on the idea of good taste. At the very least, we now discourage men from having hard-ons in public places. But first, we had to hit bottom and the 90s was certainly a bottom. With Basic Instinct and Body of Evidence, the 90s were a horny, sweaty, free for all that's not nearly as much fun as it sounds. 

Now, before anyone assumes I am some kind of scold or prude or whatever, I assure you that's not the case. I'm sex positive. I think sex can be a natural, zesty enterprise. My point is not to shame anyone, be confident in what you enjoy as long as you aren't hurting anyone. My point is only that there is a place for horniness and it is not a mainstream movie theater. Pornography is just fine with me, but it belongs in private. I don't think society is asking too much by asking that we don't look at pornography in public. 

And make no mistake, Body of Evidence is and was pornography. Willem Dafoe has stated that the sexual activity in the film is real. Specifically, a scene of oral sex on top of a parked vehicle in a parking garage simply could not be faked for the camera. And that's fine, if you are watching at home, alone or with a willing partner. In public, it's weird and creepy. I told my co-host M.J, from the podcast that inspired this review, the all new Everyone's a Critic 1993 podcast, that this film was released in theaters, and they were floored. M.J is 18 years old. 

Ostensibly, Body of Evidence is the story of a woman named Rebecca who is arrested for murder. Willem Dafoe is her crusading lawyer, Frank. Together they fight to prove Rebecca's innocence and in the process they fall in love. It's a truly inspiring story overcoming the odds, finding a true partner, and allowing love to win the day. Okay, yeah, no, Body of Evidence is actually just a porno movie that is occasionally interrupted by the dumbest episode of Law & Order. 

Rebecca is accused of sexing her boyfriend to death. The prosecuting attorney, Robert (Joe Mantegna) actually says in court "She is a beautiful woman. But when this trial is over, you will see her no differently than a gun, or a knife, or any other instrument used as a weapon." The man Rebecca was sexing at the time was in his 60s and suffered from a heart problem. He'd also just changed his will to leave everything to Rebecca. There is also the fact that his nasal spray was spiked with cocaine. That might also have caused a problem. 

Despite this being a courtroom drama, no one seems to know how a court case works. There is a lot shouting objection and lots of shaming Rebecca for enjoying having sex. And that's pretty much it. The prosecutor tries to make the case that she tried to sex other men to an early grave but what the movie fails to understand is that having consensual sex is not illegal and having a heart problem while having very athletic sex, is still not murder. The courtroom nonsense relies greatly on the idea that men aren't capable of saying no to sex therefore she killed them with sex. You know what no one does? Dust for fingerprints on the nasal spray bottle to see who other than the dead man might have touched it. But there I go bringing logic to where it is certainly not welcome. 

Click here for my full length review at Filthy.Media.

Movie Review The Old Way

The Old Way (2023) 

Directed by Brett Donawho 

Written by Carl W. Lucas 

Starring Nicolas Cage, Ryan Kiera Armstrong, Shiloh Fernandez, Noah Le Gros 

Release Date January 6th, 2023

Published January 10th, 2023 

The Old Way stars Nicolas Cage as former gunfighter Colton Briggs. A well known and much feared outlaw in his day, Colton is now domesticated. He has a wife, Ruth (Kerry Knuppe), and a daughter, Brooke (Ryan Kiera Armstrong), and a dry good store in town. He's become an upstanding citizen so naturally, his past is coming back to haunt him. Enter a group of bandits led by James McCallister (Noah Le Gros). McCallister and his gang are on the run from the law when they happen upon the Briggs' home while Colton is away at work. 

Through a fluke of fate, the home that the bad guys want to hole up in for a night is that of the man that killeed McCallister's father and uncle right in front of him more than a decade ago. Though he's well aware of Briggs' reputation as the coldest of cold blooded killers, McCallister and his goons, Boots (Shiloh Fernandez), Big Mike (Abraham Benrubi), and Eustice (Clint Howard), set about torturing and murdering Ruth with McCallister hoping that her murder will bring Briggs out of outlaw retirement. 

Indeed, this does provide motivation for Colton to dust off his long black coat and revolvers but there is a potential impediment to Colton's roaring rampage of revenge. Colton's daughter is still alive. She was with Colton at his story when her mother died. Thus Colton must decide what to do with his little girl while pursuing his outlaw revenge. Lucky for him, Brooke has a lot more of her father in her than he might imagine. Brooke doesn't cry over her mom's death, she picks up a shotgun. 

That's a good set up for a western story. Sadly, as that story plays out in The Old Way, it never gains much life. What's lacking in The Old Way is something to really set the story apart from other similar stories. You might reasonably assume that casting the wildly charismatic and unpredictable Nicolas Cage might provide that unique quality but you'd be mistaken. Unfortunately, Nicolas Cage delivers one of the most by the numbers performances of his career in The Old Way. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media. 

Movie Review A Man Called Otto

A Man Called Otto (2023) 

Directed by Marc Forster 

Written by David Magee 

Starring Tom Hanks, Mariana Trevino, Rachel Keller, Truman Hanks, Manuel Garcia Rulfo 

Release Date January 6th, 2023 

Published January 6th, 2023 

A Man Called Otto hits an emotional sweet spot for me. It made me cry in both sadness and in joy. This is a movie I was incredibly skeptical about. The trailer was an irritation, it made Tom Hanks into some kind of Archie Bunker character in a modern sitcom. Thankfully, that's not what A Man Called Otto really is. Instead, the film, directed by the brilliant Marc Forster, is a study of grief, aging and loss tinged with romance, sentimentality and a sense of humor. That sense of humor starts with casting purportedly the nicest man in Hollywood, Tom Hanks, as a grouchy curmudgeon who treats others with a deep and abiding contempt. 

Tom Hanks is Otto Anderson and six months ago, his beloved wife, Sonya, passed away. His grief has turned Otto into a depressive hermit who lives only by the routine of punishing minor offenses committed by his neighbors in a tiny gated community. Outside of that, he's simply waiting to die. Well, actually, he's not waiting. One of the first things we see Otto doing is gathering the materials needed to hang himself. That's when fate intervenes in the form of new neighbors, one of whom, Marisol (Mariana Trevino), seems intent on making Otto her friend. 

There is a strangely magical quality to A Man Called Otto in how fate constantly conspires to interrupt Otto's attempts at killing himself. It's comical how many times Otto comes close to ending his life only to have someone intervene at the last moment, unwittingly causing Otto stick around. And that's the arc, Otto battling with a universe that seems intent on keeping him alive regardless of his desire to go to the afterlife to be with his wife. One of those intervening to keep Otto around is a homeless cat who takes to Otto and may or may not be magical manifestation of his late wife. 

That's purely my interpretation of A Man Called Otto. Most other critics seem to be treating the film as a straightforward story about a jerk who hates everyone and is trying to kill himself. Me, I see a magical story about fate and a man eager to defy the forces of good around him. I found that to be a very sweet and funny story, dark, yes, but only in the sense that the character is in a dark place emotionally and the light seems to actively try to find him. Your mileage will vary on whether you buy into my take on the movie or decide to take it merely at face value. 

Mariana Trevino is a complete delight. Her Marisol is a ball of joy bounding into Otto's life unaware of his troubles and yet determined to save him all the same. She's Magic Pixie Dream Best Friend, a sweetheart bursting with empathy and cheer. Even in the moments where Otto inflicts some genuine hurt on her via his bad attitude, she always bounces back and her resilience is inspired. In the hands of a lesser performer, the character of Marisol could just be a function to move the plot but in the hands of Mariana Trevino, the character takes on wonderful dimensions as she draws Otto toward revealing his pain and beginning to heal. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Megan

Megan (2023) 

Directed by Gerald Johnstone 

Written by Akela Cooper 

Starring Allison Williams, Violet McGraw, Amie Donald. Ronny Chieng 

Release Date January 6th, 2023 

Published January 6th, 2023 

Megan stars Allison Williams as Jenna, a roboticist with a knack for creating robots. Jenna's first creation is a Furbie style toy that can learn and carry on unique conversations, far beyond the canned responses of other similar toys. However, Jenna's big goal is to create a fully autonomous, learning, thinking and talking robot. In fact, we even see her misappropriating funds from her employer in a failed attempt to create Megan, a fully autonomous robot. 

Meanwhile, as Jenna is recovering from an 'explosive' failure, her life is being upended on the other side of the country. In Oregon, Jenna's sister, brother in-law, and niece, have been in a car accident. The parents of Cady (Violet McGraw) have died in the accident leaving the care of their daughter to Jenna. Never mind that Jenna is ill-equipped for being a parent, she's stuck with the kid and a failed robot and a deadline to try and make a new product in less than a day. 

In order to facilitate the plot of Megan, having Cady around inspires Jenna to revisit her failed Megan experiment. This time, it doesn't explode and when Jenna shows off the new Megan to her boss, David (Ronny Chieng), he compares Megan to the creation of the automobile. In order to get Megan working and demonstrate her capabilities, Jenna pairs Megan with Cady and the creepy robot becomes Cady's new best friend and primary caretaker. You can probably imagine why that's not a good thing. 

This is, of course, a horror movie. Thus, Megan is a horror movie villain whose particular villainy is explored in the second act followed by a third act showdown. The makers of Megan are not trying to reinvent the wheel. Thus, you can likely predict the nasty twists and turns of the second act as Megan destroys those who pose a threat to her new best friend Cady. Victims line up to be victims and are dispatched thusly. I will say, at least one of the murders, involving a power washer of all things, is unique, but there is nothing surprising happening and not much in the way of tension either. 

Click here for my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Leprechaun

Leprechaun (1993) 

Directed by Mark Jones

Written by Mark Jones 

Starring Warwick Davis, Jennifer Aniston, Ken Olandt, Mark Holton 

Release Date January 8th 1993 

Published January 9th, 2023 

Reflecting the movie Leprechaun 30 years later, it's a movie that should not exist. To steal phrase from a popular podcast, 'How did this Get Made?' How did a filmmaker look at a box of Lucky Charms and think to himself: Leprechaun horror movie. The existence of Leprechaun is perplexing enough but then, when you actually watch the movie, the questions only grow. This bizarre amalgamation of horror tropes, looney tunes gags, and endless continuity errors is undeniably entertaining but not for many of the reasons the filmmakers intended. 

Leprechaun begins on the sight of our titular anti-hero, the Leprechaun (Warwick Davis), savoring his pot of gold. Then, smash cut to a limousine somewhere in North Dakota. Inside the limo is Dan O'Grady (Shay Duffin), fresh from a trip to Ireland and flush with new found money. It seems that Mr. O'Grady, at some point unseen by us, captured and robbed the Leprechaun of his precious gold. Unfortunately for Dan and his beloved wife, Mrs. O'Grady (Pamela Mant), the Leprechaun wasn't keen on this idea and has followed Dan back to America for revenge. 

Cut to 10 years later. Dan O'Grady is gone after having trapped the Leprechaun in a crate in his basement with the aid of a four leaf clover, the kryptonite of the Leprechaun world. A father and daughter, J.D and Tory Redding, John Sanderford and Jennifer Aniston, are moving into the former home of the O'Grady's. Through a series of coincidences involving the unusual trio of young men hired to paint their new home, the titular Leprechaun escapes and goes on a rampage in search of his lost gold. 

Leprechaun began life as a straight ahead horror movie. Writer-Director Mark Jones admits that he looked at a box of Lucky Charms and that's where the idea came from. What with Halloween and Christmas having successfully launched horror franchises, why not St. Patrick's Day? That kind of mercenary logic is how you get something as strange and memorable as Leprechaun. This was 100% not a passion project for anyone, it was strictly a means to creating a cheap, repeatable holiday horror franchise. 

The only element that no one could have predicted was how much actor Warwick Davis would take to his Leprechaun character. The beloved star of Willow appears to delight in the role of a murderous Leprechaun. Davis is having a blast in this big broad character and it's hard not to enjoy just how much he is enjoying the nonsense he's involved in. Little of what he does or that the character is capable of makes any lick of sense, but Davis performs all the nonsense with such relish you can't help but have a little fun. 

Click here for my full length review at Horror.Media 

Classic Movie Review Giant

Giant (1956) 

Directed by George Stevens 

Written by Fred Guiol, Ivan Moffat

Starring Elizabeth Taylor, Rock Hudson, James Dean, Carroll Baker 

Release Date November 24th. 1956 

Published January 8th, 2023 

The latest presentation of The Film Foundation is the 1956 epic, Giant, starring Elizabeth Taylor, Rock Hudson, and James Dean. It's the story of money and privilege on the growing Texas prairie of 1956, a time when cattle and oil battled for land and financial supremacy. And a rare moment where a woman confronted the sexism of the time to demand her place in the world. It's also a 3 hour plus movie that takes a while to get to a place where something genuinely interesting takes place. 

The story kicks in when Jordan 'Bick' Benedict, travels to Maryland to purchase an expensive horse. The rich man selling the horse happens to have a beautiful daughter, Leslie (Elizabeth Taylor), who challenges him and within days of his arrival, becomes his wife. The two return to Texas where Bick's sister, Luz (Carroll Baker) is less than welcoming of her new sister in-law. Their conflict plays out quickly with Luz's death bringing an end to the brief chapter. 

Luz's death precipitates a rivalry between Bick and Luz's favorite ranch hand, Jett Rink (James Dean), who refuses to take Bick's money. Instead, he takes a piece of Bick's land that is believed to be relatively worthless. This being Texas however, the property is soon found to be valuable, bursting with oil. This furthers the rivalry between Jet and Bick, though that really takes a while to develop. Just as soon as Jet is pumping oil, the film jumps more than a decade into the future. 

I am embarrassed to say this, but it is true, I was bored throughout Giant. I recognize the large story being told and the skillful way in which George Stevens captures it all, but the story failed to grab me. I just couldn't stay interested in the sexless, chemistry free relationship of Elizabeth Taylor and Rock Hudson. They have three kids, but they have the romantic chemistry of acquaintances who happen to be married. The separate beds they sleep in are a sign of the times in 1956 but they are also, unintentionally symbolic of Hudson and Taylor's lack of bedroom compatibility. 

Then, there is James Dean, a legend who died young and left a blazing legacy. The James Dean of Giant is a creepy weirdo, a wiry, weird little troll of a man. He's supposedly the villain of the picture but he's so rarely on screen in the first two hours of Giant that he hardly registers beyond his deeply mannered and strange performance. The intention appears to be to make Jett Rink the big bad guy of the movie, but he doesn't really do much aside from some of the hammiest drunk acting I've ever seen in a movie. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media. 

Movie Review Firenado

Firenado (2022) 

Directed by Rhys Frake Waterfield, Scott Jeffrey 

Written by Tom Joliffe 

Starring Sian Altman, Nicola Wright, Stephen Staley

Release Date January 3rd, 2023 

Published December 29th, 2022 

Firenado is as dopey and low rent as that title indicates. It's also kind of fun, as that title implies. The story goes that a group of weather scientists figured out a new way to study tornados with the ultimate goal of controlling a tornado. Finding a tornado in a remote area, the group lets loose their technology only to accidentally grow the tornado beyond their control. Naturally, because the movie is called Firenardo, the out of control and over-powered tornado passes over the top of a gas station. 

While pressing the boundaries of credibility, the gas pumps light the tornado on fire and the tornado grows further out of control. Our group of scientists, including Anna (Sian Altman), a student learning about meteorology, Helena (Nicola Wright) an assistant to the professor in charge of the experiment, Professor Devlin (Toby Wynn Davies). There is another guy there too, but he doesn't matter much. He's a brief comic relief character who is offed quickly amid the early destruction of the tornado. 

There is a secondary plot in Firenado because apparently stopping a tornado that is on fire is not enough for one movie. Thus, we get a heist plot. A group of criminal's plans to enact a heist in the midst of the storm. Unaware that the tornado they are planning to use for cover has become a firenado, the criminals attack a safe house where an accountant, Pierce Moore (Daniel Godfrey), is hiding out with millions of dollars. 

Somehow, the scientists are also on their way to this safe house. The scientists are working their way across the countryside warning people to run from the Firenado with minimal success. They happen to arrive at the safe house just as the criminals do and a shootout ensues, somehow, until the firenado catches up. Then we get a chase scene and another multi-million dollar safe house and a burgeoning romance between Pierce and Anna and it's... a lot. It's a lot. 

You might be surprised to know that a fire tornado, or Firenado, is a real thing. Not the way it happens in this movie, obviously, but they do happen. It's rare but, most often they occur related to atmospheric conditions surrounding forest fires. There is little, really no chance that a tornado hitting a gas station will lead to a 'Firenado,' as happens in this movie. That said, of course, this movie is not based on any real danger. Instead, Firenado is a very silly B-movie looking to capitalize on the already dated trend of placing odd things inside of Tornados like Sharks, Ghosts, Dinosaurs, and Cars. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Armageddon Time

Armageddon Time (2002) 

Directed by James Gray 

Written by James Gray 

Starring Anthony Hopkins, Anne Hathaway, Jeremy Strong 

Release Date November 4th, 2022 

Published November 10th, 2022 

Armageddon Time  stars Michael Banks Repeta as Paul, a young man in 1980 New York City attending public school. Paul comes from a Jewish background but his family has hidden that behind the name Graf. At school, Paul is unremarkable, a minor rebel who mocks his teacher. He finds a friend in Johnny (Jaylin Webb), a fellow outcast, a young black kid whose been held back at least once. Johnny is in trouble a lot, mostly because his teacher just assumes Johnny is the one causing trouble. 

At home, Paul has a loving, if somewhat angry family. Paul has somehow convinced himself that his family is rich though we can clearly see that there are middle class at best. Regardless, Paul takes liberties with his parents, especially by ordering take out even after his mother, Anne Hathaway, has cooked an expansive dinner for their entire family. His father, played by Jeremy Strong, is loving but can be overbearing and outright abusive. 

That abusive side comes out when Paul finds trouble at school. With Johnny, Paul is caught smoking marijuana in the school bathroom. Paul's father finds out and give his son a frightening beating with a belt in a scene that director James Gray is smart not to romanticize. Many of Gray's generation, my generation, as well, tend to act as if a father who beat their kids was a 'disciplinarian' and not an abuser. Gray and Jeremy Strong give the father character in Armageddon Time a more complex rendering as a man who loves his kids but also feels at a loss at how to care for them. It's clear he was also beaten as a child and he sees it as the only way forward as a parent. 

Paul gets pulled out of his public school and placed in a rich private school with the help of his benevolent and loving grandfather, played by Anthony Hopkins. At this rich private school Paul runs in the same circle as the sons of the Trump family. When they see Paul talking with Johnny at the gates of the school, their sneering racism causes Paul to pull away from his friend. At the urging of his grandfather, Paul tries to repair his friendship but his plan to do so only causes more problems. 

At his new school, the line between white and black, the privileged and the less than privileged, is brought into stark contrast when Maryanne Trump (Jessica Chastain in cameo), visits the school and delivers a speech. The speech is like a message directly to Paul, and thus to us, about where you stand and who you stand for. Will you be part of the future she proposes led by the rich elite, or stand with those in need of help. 

I think... honestly, I am not entirely sure what James Gray is going for overall. There are elements of class warfare, and something being said about white-privilege and the racial divide. That said, what point James Grey is trying to make is undermined by his storytelling choices. The lasting memory of Armageddon Time is that of a young black kid acting as a functionary in the coming of age of a young white kid. The young black kid has no life, no dimension, he exists to teach a lesson to our main character. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media. 

Classic Movie Review The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1989)

Directed by Terry Gilliam 

Written by Charles McKeown, Terry Gilliam 

Starring John Neville, Sarah Polley, Eric Idle, Robin Williams 

Release Date March 10th, 1989 

Published January 3rd, 2023 

Terry Gilliam's delirious, chaotic, and fantastic, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, is now part of the Criterion Collection. Released in 1989, this wildly over the top, sensory overload inducing film remains, 34 years after release, as alive and full of imagination as ever. Even as special effects and cinematography have evolved past the somewhat aged looking Munchausen, Gilliam's dedication to practical effects gives his masterpiece a timeless look. 

The story of The Adventures of Baron Munchausen begins on the stage where an acting troupe is acting out the supposedly fictitious adventures of Baron Munchausen. The story kicks into gear when the real Baron Munchausen (John Neville), charges the stage and demands to be allowed to tell the story of his adventures correctly. Thus, the Baron launches into a fantastical story about his conflict with the Grand Turk, one that began with a reasonable wager and ended with the Baron and his men leaving with all of the wealth of the empire. 

The Baron's remarkable and vivid tale is interrupted when that same Grand Turk and his army begin to bombard the English city where this tale had been told. Caught off guard, it appears that the English are to be overrun by the Turks until the Baron makes a big movie, creates for himself an airship on which he will fly across the galaxy to gather his servants to help fight the Turks. Stowing away on the Baron's airship is Sally Salt (Sarah Polley), a plucky youngster who is one of the few who believes that the Baron's fantasies are real. 

And boy are they real as, indeed, the Baron takes Sally to the Moon where The King of the Moon (Robin Williams), imprisons them. There they are able to recover The Baron's top assistant, played by Eric Idle. Naturally, there is an amazing escape that leads to another remarkable adventure that includes a brief bit of romance wherein The Baron is smitten with the wife of a dangerous bandit king. Uma Thurman is luminous as the Queen while the inimitable Oliver Reed chews the very large and practically crafted sets. 

The Adventures of Baron Munchausen is a wildly imaginative masterwork. It's pure chaos but in the best possible way. The flights of fantasy and the visual delights never rest while the extraordinary cast provides even more color with big, broad, and hilarious performances. Star John Neville grounds the story with elegant dignity and roguish charm, while Sarah Polley never succumbs to the cliches of a plucky child sidekick. Her Sally is an urgent part of the plot as she plays the part of the Baron's conscience. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media. 

Movie Review Human Resources

Human Resources (2022) 

Directed by Braden Swope 

Written by Braden Swope, Evan Swope 

Starring Hugh McCrae Jr, Anthony Candell, Sara Jose, Tim Masuradze 

Release Date January 10th, 2023 

Published January 3rd, 2023 

Human Resources opens on a terrific piece of visual filmmaking. With a very low budget, director Evan Swope knows that he needs to set the tone for his movie without the bells and whistles of a big production. So, he relies on the most basic components of good filmmaking: sound design and camera work. We open inside Brooke's Hardware Store. An eerie breeze blows through the store creating an innate sense of dread. A worried yet determined employee walks into a room that is marked with signs telling him not to enter. 

Keith, the employee, goes ahead and enters. Inside, he begins to call out for someone or something. He's here to confront whatever entity has created this sense of dread at his place of work. Through a terrific sequence of camera movements, strong and fast editing choices, and tremendous sound design, we watch Keith search for, and, unfortunately, find something that ends up getting him killed. Barely a word of dialogue is spoken and yet, in less than four minutes, the premise of Human Resources is established. This business harbors a dark secret that will be uncovered as the movie plays out. 

Cut to daytime, a new employee is needed at Brooke's Hardware. The General Manager, Brian (Tim Masurdze, tells his store manager, Gene (Anthony Candell), to hire Sam Coleman (Hugh McCrae Jr). Though Sam has little work experience, and a less than impressive resume, Gene agrees, and Sam is brought on board. Once at his new place of work, Sam is trained by Sarah (Sarah Jose), a cynical, long-time employee of Brooke's Hardware who advises Sam not to let working this dead end job become his whole life. 

Together, Sam and Sarah stumble over the mystery of Keith, our opening kill victim. Keith had begun to document the creepy, odd and frightening goings on at Brooke's Hardware. Employees prior to Keith had been going missing. The store was always strangely empty, except on Black Friday when the story would be overrun with customers. Brian and Gene are very serious about Black Friday and how it keeps the entire store afloat for the whole year. If that sounds suspicious, it's intended to be. In the clever script by director Braden Swope and his brother, Ethan Swope, the suspicious elements are all cleverly employed. 

Bubbling under the surface of Human Resources is how our modern economy calls on low wage employees to dedicate themselves to work. Gene talks about culture and teamwork and builds up working a Brooke's Hardware as a calling as much as it is a job. Meanwhile, employees are paid a pittance for their time while being expected to work hard and over-deliver on their effort. Work hard for nothing in return because work itself is somehow a reward. Ugh! Human Resources takes this idea and rightly turns it into a premise for a horror movie. 

I really adored the direction of Human Resources. The smart choices, the limited exposition, it's a welcome breath of fresh air. Little dialogue is wasted in telling us the plot. Instead, the basics of filmmaking deliver important details visually. The characters interact as human beings who know and work together would, not as movie characters who must also explain to the audience what the plot is and what we should be aware of. The direction tells us far more than the script and that's the mark of good filmmaking and smart writing. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Last Resort

Last Resort (2023) 

Directed by Jean Marc Mineo 

Written by Jean Marc Mineo 

Starring Jonathan Patrick Foo, Clayton Norcross, Alex Santi 

Release Date January 6th, 2023 

Published January 2nd, 2023 

Last Resort is not going to be mistaken for a good movie. That said, as a throwback to the kind of terrible movie that was prominent in the 1980s, a bloody, B-movie action flick, Last Resort has a particular charm to it. Jonathan Patrick Foo as Michael, a mercenary living in Thailand and on the brink of divorce from his put-upon wife. We don't know he's a mercenary when we first meet him, only that he lays on the couch watching cartoons all day. 

We will learn that Michael was a particularly vicious mercenary when his wife and daughter end up part of a hostage situation inside of a bank. Michael's mercenary mentor, Cooper (Clayton Norcross), happens to be the leader of this particular group of bank robbers/terrorists. He's after some kind of deadly MacGuffin that is held inside the bank for reasons that are left unclear. Of course, it doesn't matter why the thing the bad guy's need is in this bank, the point is to get Michael to the bank to kill the bad guys. 

Michael arrives and after briefly being detained by the dumbest cops, he gets himself inside the bank and starts to the killing of faceless minions. These scenes are brutally violent with bloody, bone-cracking, battles that play exactly like an 80s B-movie. The budget is low, but the sound design and fight choreography are superb in giving the fight scenes a great deal of energy and fun. The physicality and staging even manages to become suspenseful at times, not that the fate of the main character is ever in question. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

 

Movie Review The Pale Blue Eye

The Pale Blue Eye (2022) 

Directed by Scott Cooper

Written by Scott Cooper 

Starring Christian Bale, Harry Melling, Gillian Anderson, Lucy Boynton, Robert Duvall 

Release Date December 23rd, 2022 

Netflix Release Date January 6th, 2022 

Pale Blue Eye stars Christian Bale as Detective Augustus Landor. Detective Landor lives in upstate New York, not far from the famed campus of the West Point Military Academy. It's 1830 and as we join the story, Detective Landor has received guests at his cottage. The visitor is Captain Hitchcock (Simon McBurney) and he has distressing news. There has been a murder on the campus and the leadership at West Point, headed up by Superintendent Player (Tim Spall) wishes to hire Landor to investigate. 

At the scene of the crime a West Point cadet is hanging from a tree. One might assume a suicide but one important detail removes that possibility. The young victims heart has been cut from his chest. Stranger still, a young cadet who found the body claimed that the body had been hanging there when he arrived but the victim's heart hadn't yet been removed. Landor accepts the job of investigating the death and sets to work with minor aid from a West Point physician, Dr. Daniel Marquis (Toby Jones) who performs a perfunctory autopsy. 

The case takes a strange detour when Landor meets an odd young cadet named E.A Poe, Edgar Allan Poe (Harry Melling). The awkward and melancholy Poe has a theory that the murderer must be a poet as the cutting out of the heart could only be symbolic. Landor is dubious about Poe's theory but keeps the young man around, hiring him as a junior investigator. It will be Poe's task to do the investigating that Landor cannot do himself, get close to the cadets who knew the victim, and report back to Landor. 

This leads to a surprising supernatural connection to the death that brings Landor in contact with an old friend. An almost unrecognizable Robert Duvall plays Jean-Pepe, a Professor with a taste for the supernatural and the macabre. He theorizes that the taking of the heart and an occult symbol found in a barn near the murder may indicate a ritual killing, an attempt by someone to communicate with the dead via a sacrifice and a human heart. 

Meanwhile, Poe begins to fall in love. Lucy Boynton stars as Lea, the daughter of Dr. Marquis, and Dr Marquis's imperious wife, Julia (Gillian Anderson). Lea has a disease that is slowly killing her but that doesn't stop Poe from falling deeply in love with her. This came as he investigated Dr. Marquis' son, Artemus (Harry Lawley) who appears to have connections to the supernatural. The Marquis Family, Poe and Detective Landor are all at the center of the mystery at the heart of Pale Blue Eye. 

Pale Blue Eye is not based on a real story. Rather, it's based on a legend that Edgar Allen Poe helped to spread around the time he began his famed writing career. It's a story that Writer-Director Scott Cooper has been eager to tell since he broke through with his debut feature, Crazy Heart. You can sense the care Cooper is taking to tell this story and he is a skilled storyteller. That said, Pale Blue Eye doesn't quite live up to Cooper's passionate presentation. 

The film is absorbing and the mystery is quite intriguing. That said, the final act of Pale Blue Eye goes just a step too far. A bizarre twist unfolds that makes you look back at the rest of the movie with confusion. Character decisions that seemed logical earlier in the story become weirdly questionable after the twist is revealed and since the twist isn't satisfying enough on its own  to justify all that it corrupts in the rest of the telling of the story. 

Christian Bale cuts a strong figure as Detective Landor. His chemistry with Harry Melling's Poe is the strongest aspect of Pale Blue Eye. The amused way Landor takes in the oddball Poe is quite entertaining and Melling's broad theatrical performance bounces wonderfully off of Bale's more naturalistic performance. Melling might be overly broad if not for the way Bale's Landor grounds him and makes him appear more human, drawing him out from his theatricality toward more genuine, honest moments. t's a good dynamic. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Candy land

Candy Land (2023) 

Directed by John Swab 

Written by John Swab

Starring Olivia Luccardi, William Baldwin, Sam Quartin, Owen Campbell, Eden Brolin

Release date January 6th, 2023 

Published January 2nd, 2023 

Candy Land is a nasty, gritty, sexy horror movie about sex workers at a southern truck stop who meet a young woman named Remy (Olivia Luccardi), after she has either escaped from or been turned away from the religious cult she was with. Taking her in, they become her friends and, eventually, they initiate her into sex work. Little do they know that Remy is more dangerous than she looks. The mousy former cult member carries with her a cross with a deep dark secret related to her past and the cult from which she's supposedly escaped. 

Among our characters is Sadie (Sam Quartin), Sadies' girlfriend, Liv (Virginia Rand), Riley (Eden Brolin) and Levi (Owen Campbell), a gay for pay sex worker. Helping the younger women with a place to stay and frequent customers is Nora (Guinivere Turner), a relatively kindhearted version of a pimp. Rounding out the cast is Sheriff Rex (William Baldwin) who looks the other way as the sex workers ply their trade. In exchange, he spends time with Levi whom he has become deeply enamored. 

Once Remy becomes part of their crew people start dying. First is a random John who is found in the men's room with an eye cut out and his arms posed over his chest. Soon after, another customer, a trucker is killed. And then we get to the main cast, one of whom finds Remy cleaning her knife in the ladies room. Remy kills them to keep her murders quiet and then kills another random woman who comes in and that murder provides her with a cover story, this rando killed our friend, by Remy's estimation

Read my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Scare Package 2: Rad Chad's Revenge

Scare Package 2: Rad Chad's Revenge 

Directed by Aaron B. Koontz

Written by Anthology 

Starring Zoe Graham, Jeremy King, Rich Sommer, Shakira Ja'nai Paye

Release Date December 22nd, 2022

Scare Package 2: Rad Chad's Revenge is an anthology horror comedy that takes the framing device of a Saw movie and uses it as a hanger for a series of short films deconstructing horror tropes. Overseen by director Aaron B. Koontz, it's a chaotic package of hits and misses, good ideas and bad ideas, and, most importantly, wildly inventive strangeness. There is a particular charm to the low budget aesthetic, one that painstakingly recalls 80s horror movies, and Saw, of course, and that charm worked on me, for the most part. 

A group of friends has gathered for the funeral of the late, great Rad Chad (Jeremy Buckley), horror movie lover and video store owner. Chad died from having a demon nearly explode his face with a punch. His funeral is attended by the 'Final Girl' of the original Scare Package, Jessie (Zoe Graham), her new girlfriend, Kimmie (Shakira Ja'Nai Paye), and Jessie's mother (Kelly Maroney), and several other faces familiar from the previous Scare Package film. 

In the midst of the mourning of Rad Chad, the guests find themselves incapacitated by gas and kidnapped. Trapped in some eerie basement, the group finds out via exposition video tape that they are to be part of Rad Chad's game of death. Much like a Saw movie trap, they've all been poisoned and must look for clues, escape room style to find the cure. But first, the must watch a short horror movie which may or may not contain clues for their survival. 

Click here for my review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Women Talking

Women Talking (2022) 

Directed by Sarah Polley 

Written by Sarah Polley 

Starring Jessie Buckley, Claire Foy, Frances McDormand, Rooney Mara, Ben Whishaw 

Release Date December 23rd, 2022 

Published December 22nd, 2022

Women Talking is directed by Sarah Polley with a script Polley adapted from a book by Marion Toews. The story is set inside a cloistered Mennonite community in 2010. After having endured sexual and physical abuse from the men in their colony for years, the newest assault has the women of the community questioning what to do to stop this from happening again. 8 women are assigned the task of determining what must be done, either staying and fighting the men or leaving and never returning, risking what they've been raised to believe would be God's wrath, eternal damnation. 

Regardless of the risks involved, a decision must be made and over the course of Women Talking we here the reasoning behind what must be done, staying and fighting or leaving. Each comes with its own peril. Fighting the men is going to be violent and result in grave harm or perhaps death. Leaving meanwhile, risks losing a place in the kingdom of heaven plus the fact that the women have no idea where they will go if they leave. 

That last bit is critical but you have to think about it for yourself. A less talked about aspect of abuse is economic or circumstantial abuse. This is abuse that occurs when one partner renders another partner helpless via their circumstances, physical, financial, et cetera. Essentially, because these women are cut off from the outside world, cut off from resources, they are left with no choice but to rely on their male partners. Leaving is a possibility but it comes with a grave uncertainty as to where to go and what will happen next. 

Add to that fact that these are women with small children or elderly women who've spent their whole lives in this community and it dawns on you just how massive this decision these women are making truly is. The competing emotions of anger, resentment, fear, uncertainty, the desire to be free of abuse and the years of indoctrinated servitude, these women are doing far more than just talking, they are facing a monolithic challenge. 

Among the eight women chosen to make this impossible decision are Ona (Rooney Mara), a rape survivor who became pregnant from her assault. Salome (Claire Foy), also a recent survivor who is eager to stay and fight. Mariche, a mother of several children who has suffered repeated abuse from her husband. Mariche wants to stay and cope with the problems though her coping seems to involve changing absolutely nothing about their circumstances. 

Click here for my full length review at Viva.Media 

Movie Review The Old Town Girls

The Old Town Girls (2022) 

Directed by Shen Yu 

Written by Yujie Qiu, Shen Yu 

Starring Regina Wan, Li Gengxi, Jue Hwang

Release Date December 23rd, 2022 

Published December 22nd, 2022 

The Old Town Girls begins in a disjointed note. Co-writer and Director Shen Yu throws you immediately into chaos. Three adults are searching for two missing teenage daughters. One insists that they need to find the supposed kidnappers of their daughters to deliver a large ransom. One of the father's decides that waiting around isn't worth it and decides they should go to the police. At the police station with the intent of filing a missing persons report. That's when everything breaks down and suddenly we are thrown back in time. 

With little in the way of context clues we must determine that we are now a few weeks in the past, prior to the events of the opening scene. The two young women who are missing in the opening scene, presumed kidnapped, are High Schoolers and loosely they are friends. Shu Qing (Li Gengxi) is a desperately shy young woman, an outcast both at school and at home. In a heartbreaking scene, we watch as she arrives to her modest home only to be told by her step-mother that she needs to stay out while grandparents are there. Shu Qing is not there granddaughter and they don't want to dine with a stranger. Ouch. 

Click here for my full length review at Geeks.media 

Movie Review All the Beauty and the Bloodshed

All the Beauty and the Bloodshed (2022) 

Directed by Laura Poitras 

Written by Documentary 

Starring Nan Goldin 

Release Date November 23rd, 2022 

Published December 21st, 2022 

All the Beauty and the Bloodshed is a powerful and haunting exploration of the work and life of a remarkable artist. The bold and brilliant Nan Goldin made her first impact on art culture in the 1980s with her sensational art piece, A Ballad of Sexual Dependency. That multimedia experience included explicit and deeply personal photographs depicting the many relationships in Goldin's circle, including brutally honest explorations of her own relationship. Though some told Nan Goldin that photographers don't photograph themselves or their own lives, she defied them and became a cult legend. 

Defiance is a strong quality in Nan Goldin. Defying conventional, suburban expectations of her life was a hallmark of Goldin's childhood. Following the all too early death of her older sister, Nan Goldin defied her parents by continuing to ask questions about why her sister died so young. And, later in Goldin's life, she became defiant of the corporate art world by leading a protest against one of the corporations that funded many of the biggest and most well-known museums around the world. 

The owners of Purdue Pharma, the Sackler Family, donated millions to museums around the world, including ones that were home to the work of Nan Goldin. Goldin however, never afraid to bite the hand that supposedly fed her, started a protest movement aimed specifically at getting the Sackler family name off of the walls of world of art. Why? Because Nan Goldin was a rare survivor of the opioid crisis, one who came out the other side of her addiction with her voice intact. 

Thousands of people have died from overdose and illness related to the Sackler family's pharmaceutical products, Oxycontin and Fentanyl. Over the years, the callous and cold-hearted statements made by the Sackler family regarding their deadly products have come to light and Nan Goldin uses those statements as part of her art and protest movement called "PAIN." PAIN targeted what they call 'Toxic Philanthropy,' essentially the uber-rich who use philanthropy to cover up for their unethical, immoral and or illegal business practices. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Stars at Noon

Stars at Noon (2022) 

Directed by Claire Denis

Written by Claire Denis, Lea Mysius, Andrew Litvack 

Starring Margaret Qualley, Joe Alwyn, Benny Safdie 

Release Date October 14th, 2022 

Published ? 

In the hands of any other director, Stars at Noon would be a taught, fraught, political-spy thriller filled with car chases, action, and excitement. In the hands of Claire Denis however, Stars at Noon is languid, sexy, dripping with sweat, and far from anything you would expect from  spy thriller. The film stars Margaret Qualley as a wannabe journalist caught up in the political unrest of Central America. Joe Alwyn co-stars as the ostensible spy in this spy story, an Englishman caught between American and Central American interests. 

The film begins with our protagonist referred to only as Journalist. We eventually hear her called Ms. Johnson but that's merely an indication of Denis' disinterest such mundane matters as peoples names. Identity is less important than getting to what is more interesting to Claire Denis, the politics of sex, the sexual marketplace, and the place her female characters occupy in that odd marketplace. In this case, Qualley's journalist has been placed in a unique position. 

After having written an article critical of the regime in charge, the Journalist has had her passport taken away and her journalistic credentials revoked. This places her at the whim of men who might be able to help her in exchange for her body. That's the case with a local official who took her passport and broke her phone and still demands sex from her. That would be the case for another high ranking official were he not impotent, though his willingness to help her is now waning. 

The journalist's relationship to the English spy also begins in a transactional fashion. The pair meet at a hotel bar. The spy mistakes the journalist for a sex worker and, being desperate for American currency, she doesn't disabuse him of this notion. She needs money to try and get back to the United States, a task that gets ever more difficult as the story progresses. The hook up with the spy initially seems like a one off but when she finds herself in even deeper trouble she seeks him out again only to find that he may be in even more trouble than she is. 

My telling of the plot is actually more concise than Denis' presentation. For Denis, the book on which this script is based is a hanger from which she can explore other ideas, visual and sexual ideas, power dynamics, and other things that capture her fleeting interests. Yes, there is ostensibly a thriller plot unfolding with our protagonists attempting to flee from the corrupt elements of government attempting to arrest the spy. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Corsage

Corsage (2022) 

Directed by Marie Kreutzer 

Written by Marie Kreutzer 

Starring Vicky Krieps, Florian Teichtmeister, Katharina Lorenz 

Release Date December 23rd, 2022 

Published December 20th, 2022 

Corsage stars Vicky Krieps as Empress Elisabeth of Austria. Obsessed with her looks and dismissive of royal duties, Empress Elisabeth cuts a strangely bad ass figure in Corsage. She's not quite punk rock but she's in the rebellious metaphorical realm. She was a Queen but, according to this movie, one who chafed hard against the crown her entire life. She was a devoted mother whose motherhood was taken from her by royal decree as she became disengaged from her children who were essentially brainwashed by royal formality with only a little of their mother's true spirit mixed in. 

We meet Empress Elisabeth as she is doing her royal duty. This means being trussed up in the tightest corset possible in order to meet a public obsessed with her weight, her looks, and her outfits. We watch with mouths agape as catty fellow royals and richies snarkily comment on her appearance in the most passive aggressive fashion before she steals back a modicum of self worth by faking her way out of the needless, thankless task of glad-handing. 

 Faking a fainting spell, Empress Elisabeth returns home to the comfort of her gaggle of servants, stylists and sycophantic family members. Most prominent in her circle are Elisabeth's closest friend, Countess Marie Festetics (Katharina Lorenz), Lady in Waiting Ida Ferenczy (Jeanne Werner) and her hairdresser, Fanny (Alma Hasun). With these women and her private servants, Elisabeth expresses her loathing of her royal duties and the various ways she subverts her station. 

Corsage unfolds as series of set pieces that give us a glimpse of Elisabeth's agonizing chafing against her station and the few desires she is able to indulge. One specific indulgence is a male friend whom she desires but is more than likely... not her type. Then there is another potential lover, George "Bay" Middleton, the Queen's favorite horse trainer. The two have remarkable chemistry but Bay seems to recognize how dangerous an affair with Elisabeth may be while she obliviously flirts and pouts. 

Drama surrounding Elisabeth's children involves the shifting allegiances of her son Rudolf. At once Rudolf warns his mother about indulging her flirtation with Middleton and then he turns around and becomes her biggest supporter, as he also launches a bit of a scandal with his rumored affair. Elisabeth's youngest daughter repeatedly antagonizes her mother over her improprieties in a subplot that doesn't really go anywhere but going nowhere is kind of the heart of Corsage. 

Writer-Director Marie Kreutzer is a skilled storyteller with a knack for knowing where to linger and where to surprise the audience. A good example are the highly charged scenes between Elisabeth and her husband, Emperor Franz Joseph (Florian Teichtmeister). The marriage is fraught with various dramas from Elisabeth's desire to be involved in state affairs, to her unwillingness to participate in the boring rituals of royal life. Naturally, both struggle with fidelity even as Elisabeth does make attempts to connect with her husband. 

As mentioned earlier, vultures surrounding the royal family consistently made Elisabeth's looks into a topic for scandal and speculation. Corsage examines those issues by not examining them at all. Rather, Kreutzer's script and Vicky Krieps' performance bring these issues forward in how Elisabeth dressed and her remarkably extreme approach to weight loss. The title, Corsage refers to the original use of that word, which described what we came to call a corset, the bodice of a woman's dress. Elisabeth was obsessed with the corsage she wore, wearing it as tightly as possible, painfully tight. 

It was an expression of her anxiety over her weight and a message to those in her court who thought to criticize her appearance. By showing off her extremely small waist, she hoped to head off criticism of her appearance. Sadly, then many began to speculate that she was sickly and pale, or even dying due to her extreme vanity. She truly could not win. Elisabeth's diet is another extreme demonstrated in Corsage in a scene where her dinner consists of a thin slice of an orange. Not the whole orange sliced, one thin slice from an orange. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media. 

Horror of 2022

Let's rank the Horror Movies of 2022!

Rank	Item
1	Pearl
2	Nocturna Side A and Side B
3	We're All Going to the World's Fair
4	Godforsaken
5	Hatching
6	The Yellow Wallpaper
7	X
8	Men
9	Nope
10	Barbarian
11	Resurrection
12	Terrifier 2
13	Hellraiser
14	Orphan First Kill
15	Christmas Bloody Christmas
16	The Fireplace Adult Swim Yule Log Secret Movie
17	Studio 666
18	Kicking Blood
19	Fall
20	The Black Phone
21	All Jacked Up and Full of Worms
22	The Mean One
23	Violent Night
24	The Scary of 61st
25	Bodies Bodies Bodies
26	Children of Sin
27	Halloween Ends
28	The Invitation
29	Surrogate
30	Room 203
31	The Long Night
32	The Free Fall
33	The Legend of La Llorona
34	Rucker
35	The Curse of La Patasola
36	Texas Chainsaw Massacre