Movie Review Joyride

Joy Ride (2023) 

Directed by Adele Lim 

Written by Cherry Chevapravataldumrong, Terese Hsiao, Adel Lim

Starring Ashley Park, Sherry Cola, Stephanie Hsu, Sabrina Wu

Release Date July 7th, 2023 

Published July 11th, 2023 

There is a visual gag in Joy Ride that is one of the biggest laughs of 2023. It involves one of the most elaborate and unexpected tattoos ever brought to a film screen. I will not spoil it, but truly, any attempt to describe this gag does not do justice the visual designer who crafted this. I don't know if that was makeup or a CGI design of some sort, whatever it was, it's so funny that I laughed embarrassingly loudly. I laughed so hard that it hurt. My eyes popped open to such a degree that I was concerned. It's just that great of a visual gag. 

It's also a very raunchy, incredibly R-Rated gag and thus why you will have to see it for yourself when you see Joy Ride, a terrifically funny and very R-Rated road trip comedy. The film stars Ashley Park as Audrey, one of the boys, despite being very much a woman, at her boy's club of a law office. With her shot at a partnership on the line, Ashley agrees to travel to China to meet with a client and secure a deal. Not speaking Chinses however, Audrey is forced to bring along her childhood friend Lolo (Sherry Cola). 

Lolo is a loving and devoted friend but also a bit of a chaos demon. The two met as the only two Asian girls at their local park. Shy and reserved Audrey was there with her adopted, white parents who could not be more excited to welcome an Asian couple with an Asian daughter to their neighborhood. Lolo secures their friendship when she punches out a boy who uses a racial slur against Audrey. They've been best friends ever since, even as Audrey has gone on to professional success in the law and Lolo has lived in a guest house nearby while working on being an artist. 

Because of Lolo's inability to say no to her family, the two are being joined on the trip to China by Lolo's deeply odd and ambiguous Cousin, Deadeye (Sabrina Wu). Deadeye is the Zach Galifianakis of this Hangover style comedy, a breakout weirdo with her own movie happening in her head that we only catch glimpses of. The final member of the Joy Ride foursome is Audrey's friend from college, Kat (Stephanie Hsu), now a famous Chinese television actress known for her radiant innocence. Once you know that, you know how that joke is likely to payoff but you won't believe how it pays off. 

Click here for my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review Insidious Chapter 3

Insidious Chapter 3 (2015) 

Directed by Leigh Whannell 

Written by Leigh Whannell 

Starring Lin Shaye, Leigh Whannell, Angus Sampson, Dermot Mulroney, Stefanie Scott 

Release Date June 15th, 2015 

Published July 10th, 2023 

Insidious Chapter 3 is a vastly underrated entry in this terrific horror franchise. All of the Insidious movies have been pretty good but Chapter 3, with Leigh Whannell writing and directing is a low key brilliant horror movie. Whannell is a thoughtful, thorough, and detailed director and he brings that fully to bear on the trim, ingenious scares of Insidious Chapter 3. Stepping out of the shadow of his friend and partner James Wan, Whannell had a lot to live up and Insidious Chapter 3 was proof that he could hang with the best in the genre. 

Insidious Chapter 3 is set several years prior the first Insidious film. The story finds our hero, Elise Rainer (Lin Shaye), a shell of the woman she was when we met her. It's the story of Elise finding herself again following the death of her husband and the threats made against her life by a demonic entity we will eventually come to know as 'The Black Bride." For now, however, Elise pads about in a housecoat and sleeps with her husband's cardigan in a scene so sad I can't stand thinking about it. Elise's stupor is interrupted by the arrival of young woman at her door. 

Quinn Brenner (Stefanie Scott) is desperate to speak with her late mother and she's been referred to Elise as someone who can communicate with the dead. Elise, at first, tries to turn the young woman away but soon relents. What she finds is that Quinn's forays into the world of the dead have communicated with someone, but it is most certainly not her mother. She warns Quinn not to continue contacting her mother but deep down, Elise knows that this vile entity is now attached to Quinn and she's in great danger. 

Insidious Chapter 3 also gives us the origin of Elise's connection to Specks (Leigh Whannell) and Tucker (Angus Sampson). The duo is a pair of ghost hunters who have yet to encounter any actual ghosts. They do however, have advanced equipment that could, potentially, help them find one. Specks and Tucker are called by Quinn's father, Sean Brenner (Dermot Mulroney), at the behest of his son, who saw them on YouTube. Quinn, at this point, has undergone several inexplicable events that have endangered her life so even her skeptical father has to admit, something is going on. 

That's when Elise returns, partners with Specks and Tucker, and the fight to save Quinn from The Further is on. Whannell's talent for pacing, clever ideas for scares, and atmosphere are on full display in Insidious Chapter 3. Whannell has a sense of wonder about his work that I really enjoy. He has a sort of awe for what his characters are doing which feels appropriate. Eventually, this will be a routine for them, but this is there first adventure together and their chemistry is immediately apparent. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Son in Law (1993)

Son in Law (1993) 

Directed by Steve Rash 

Written by Fax Bahr, Adam Small, Shawn Schepps 

Starring Pauly Shore, Carla Gugino, Lane Smith, Tiffani Amber Thiessen 

Release Date July 2nd 1993 

Published July 11th, 2003 

I feel as if I need to apologize to my Everyone's a Critic 1993 co-host M.J. Being a member of Gen-Z, M.J once lived in a world where they were blissfully unaware of the existence of Pauly Shore. Our podcast has ruined that for them. M.J is now fully aware of the existence of the man once known as 'The Weezil,' and they are forever changed by this knowledge. I'm reminded of how I managed to go for over a year of the Baby Shark phenomenon without ever hearing the viral tune, only to have a co-worker destroy minus innocence and torment my mind via a shared office Alexa. 

For M.J, the Everyone's a Critic 1993 Podcast has included learning about a movie star with a confusingly large penis, they've seen not one but two terrible films starring the eminently forgettable actor, Arye Gross, and now, they know of the existence of Pauly Shore thanks to a screening of the movie Son in Law. If they weren't of legal, adult age, honestly, I might be risking arrest for having shown my young friend such horrors in just a mere six months of reflecting on the movies of 1993. 

Son in Law is a blisteringly terrible comedy in which the blindingly obnoxious Pauly Shore inflicts himself on everyone around him. Shore is a whirling dervish of a comic void that sucks in all of the good around him and then returns it all less beautiful, and entirely unfunny. With his irksome comic accent and bizarre language, Shore is what Adam Sandler would be if all of Sandler's characters were variations on Billy Madison. That's a hellscape I don't even want to imagine but there it is. 

The threadbare premise of Son in Law finds Becca Warner (Carla Gugino), a small-town gal from South Dakota, moving to Los Angeles to attend college. Finding herself a small fish in a big pond, Becca becomes completely overwhelmed and plans to give up everything and go home. That's when her new Resident Advisor, Crawl (Pauly Shore), yes, his name is Crawl, you try and figure out why, Crawl steps in to keep her from giving up everything. 

Crawl takes Becca under his obnoxious, oblivious wing, gets her new clothes and a new haircut, and generally treats her like the newest member of a cult. Truly, this is how Nxivm started. The end game of Son in Law is Shore and Gugino being arrested alongside one of the stars of Smallville. Okay, it's just a makeover and a tattoo, but it's still kind of weird how she changes every aspect of her life based on the advice on one weird guy. 

Click here for my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review The Killers (1946)

The Killers (1946) 

Directed by Robert Siodmak 

Written by Anthony Veiller 

Starring Burt Lancaster, Ava Gardner, Edmond O'Brien, Albert Decker 

Release Date August 30th 1946 

Published July 10th, 2023 

The Killers is both an apt and somewhat abstract title for this movie. On the one hand, the film is about two men who go to a small town to kill an ex-boxer over a debt he may or may not owe. On the other hand, the killers of the title are not central to the plot of The Killers. They put the plot in motion by murdering a seemingly random guy, but then they are mostly absent in the story until they are reintroduced late in the 3rd act. The title centers you on The Killers but the movie is more interested in the victim and how he came to be the victim. 

The movie is based on a short story by Ernest Hemingway, a short story that unfolds over the first 10 minutes of The Killers. Two men, Max (William Conrad) and Al (Charles McGraw), enter a small town diner and have a tense back and forth with the diner owner. Over the course of their terse exchange, the two men reveal why they are here. They've come to the diner on this night to kill a man known by most as 'The Swede,' also known as Ole Anderson. The Swede eats at this diner every night at this time and they intend to kill him when he arrives. 

When The Swede (Burt Lancaster) doesn't show up, the killers leave to search for him. Nick, a patron of the diner and a co-worker of The Swede rushes to warn his friend that the killers are coming. In a moment of breathtaking despair, The Swede tells Nick that there is nothing that can be done to stop this and that Nick needs to leave and never look back. Soon after, the killers arrive at The Swede's door and he accepts their arrival with a heartbreaking resolve. 

Hemingway's story ended with Nick returning to tell the diner owner what happened and when the diner owner simply nods in a cynical acceptance of what has happened, the young, idealistic Nick leaves town in disgust. The conflict is between Nick and the diner owner and their dueling perspectives. The diner owner represents an old school mindset that would prefer to ignore the encroachment of the outside world into the insular world of a small town. Nick represents the future, an idealistic notion of right and wrong, justice versus injustice.            

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Insidious The Red Door

Insidious The Red Door (2023) 

Directed by Patrick Wilson

Written by Scott Teems 

Starring Patrick Wilson, Ty Simpkins, Sinclair Daniel, Rose Byne, Lin Shaye 

Release Date July 7th, 2023 

Published July 7th, 2023 

The key to the Insidious franchise is the wildly brilliant mind of writer-director Leigh Whannell. His consistently terrifying and inventive work on each of the Insidious films, co-writing and directing the first two and providing the screenplay for Insidious The Last Key, are proof that he's one of the modern auteurs of the horror genre. Thus when I saw that he'd neither directed nor provided the screenplay for the latest Insidious movie, Insidious The Red Door, I was immediately skeptical. My skepticism peaked further when it was announced that star Patrick Wilson would be making his directorial debut with Insidious The Red Door. 

That's not intended as a negative judgment of Wilson's work before I had seen it, rather just a manifestation of my overall skepticism of an Insidious sequel without the direct influence of the franchises creator and steward. Whannell does make a cameo in Insidious The Red Door, but his presence behind the camera and the keyboard becomes notable as the film goes on. Insidious The Red Door is lacking the essential ingredients of an Insidious movie, those that Whannell's fertile, creative, and slightly disturbing mind had always provided. 

In his directorial debut, Patrick Wilson also stars in Insidious The Red Door, reprising his role as Joshua Lambert. As a child, Joshua discovered that he could travel into a nether-realm called The Further. There he would be menaced by demons who would attempt to steal his body to return themselves to the real world. Joshua's mother, played by Barbara Hershey, was able to rescue her son with the help of a psychic medium named Elise Rainer (Lin Shaye). Through Elise, Joshua was made to forget his ability to travel into The Further. 

Cut to many years later, Josh is married to Renai (Rose Byrne), and they have three kids including their oldest, Dalton (Ty Simpkins), who has been exhibiting some odd behavior. When Dalton ends up in a coma, his grandmother recognizes what is happening and is forced to confront Joshua's past. She once again calls on Elise to save her family. The solution to the problems was supposed to be once again hypnotizing Josh and also Dalton, so that they forget about The Further. Naturally, this won't be enough to keep their memories at bay for long and that's where the story of Insidious The Red Door kicks in. 

We are nearly a decade in the future from when Dalton and Joshua were hypnotized into forgetting The Further and both, father and son, are having strange dreams and fuzzy memories. For Josh, the decade since the hypnosis he's struggled with daily tasks and has become a shell of his former self. Things are so bad that he and Renai have separated and Joshua has become distant from his three kids, including Dalton who is now getting ready to leave for college. Since Joshua and Dalton rarely talk, Joshua volunteers to drive Dalton to his new college. This only serves to further the rift between father and son. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Insidious Chapter 2

Insidious Chapter 2 (2013) 

Directed by James Wan 

Written by Leigh Whannell 

Starring Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Lin Shaye, Leigh Whannell, Ty Simpkins 

Release Date September 13th, 2023 

Published July 8th, 2023 

The first Insidious Chapter was an impressively creepy movie for a PG-13 rated horror movie. The film achieved a solid atmosphere and via tremendous production design, makeup and practical effects, the film became a smash hit. And it deserved to be a hit, James Wan and Leigh Whannell had managed to create a wholly original horror movie at a time when franchises and familiar I.P remakes were the norm in Hollywood. It was a no-brainer that there would be an Insidious sequel but what no one could expect is how much of an improvement the sequel would be over the terrific original. 

Insidious Chapter 2 picks up in the wake of the shock death of Lin Shaye's iconic and immediately beloved, Elise Rainer. The Lamber family is now living with Lorraine Lambert (Barbara Hershey), Josh's mom, in the wake of the horrors that led to their son, Dalton (Ty Simpkins), spending a year trapped in another realm called The Further. Josh (Patrick Wilson) had managed to save his son from this other realm but, as observed by Renai (Rose Byrne), Josh did not come back the same man he was. Instead, an unsteady, often volatile Josh stalks their home, only occasionally showing off the qualities that she loves about him. 

The plot of Insidious Chapter 2 kicks into gear quickly with Lorraine realizing that her son is not the man she knows. Knowing something is very wrong, Lorraine seeks out Elise's team, Specks (Leigh Whannell) and Tucker (Angus Sampson), who are now at Elise's home. They've found a key piece of evidence that shows Josh may be trapped in The Further. With Elise gone, they need a new medium and Lorraine calls on another old friend, Carl (Steve Coulter), the man who initially connected Lorraine with Elise when Josh was a child and traveling dangerously into the further. 

Via Carl we get the backstory of the person who has been stalking Josh all his life, The Black Bride, a vicious and very dangerous serial murderer. Is the Black Bride the entity who has possessed Josh? How will they find their way into The Further to find out? And how will Elise come back to help? These questions have solid answers that build brilliantly on what you already know from Insidious Chapter 1. Watching Insidious Chapter 2 it appears quite clear that James Wan and Leigh Whannell had a plan for a sequel all along as moments from the first film provide a perfect foundation for what we get in Chapter 2. 

It's almost like a fun little game, recalling things that happened in Insidious Chapter 1 and seeing how they happened via Insidious Chapter 2. The seamless integration of the two films gives a little kick to the proceedings of Chapter 2. For me, auteurs are filmmakers for whom details matter. Meticulousness is a strong trait among our best film storytellers and James Wan, along with Leigh Whannell, are an auteurist team who care deeply about the minutia of their storytelling. They recognize the joy that can from having lore and how discovering lore can bond and audience with a story. 

The Insidious movies are thick with lore but not so dense that they become incomprehensible to new audiences. It's a delicate balance, but one that Wan and Whannell achieve via studious attention to details that audiences can choose to follow closely or simply experience on a per thrill basis. You can either actively involve yourself in Insidious or simply enjoy the horror movie ride of the Insidious films without taking note of the layered and extensive lore. For me, I love the lore, I adore the attention to detail and the care with which the filmmakers take to build a community around the Insidious films. 

I also love, love, love the work of Lin Shaye. It was clear in the original Insidious that she was the star of the movie and perhaps the biggest failure of Insidious Chapter 1 was not pivoting away from her ending in that movie. Shaye was the breakout character and the filmmakers recognized that going foward when they bring her back here in Chapter 2 and go back to her in subsequent features, minus Wan but with Whannell firmly shaping the lore. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review Past Lives

Past Lives (2023) 

Directed by Celine Song 

Written by Celine Song 

Starring Greta Lee, Teo Yoo, John Magaro 

Release Date June 30th, 2023 

Published July 3rd, 2023 

The opening scene of Past Lives catches you immediately off-guard. Our main characters are in a bar together but we are not with them. We are watching them from across the bar as we listen to characters we will never meet, talking about our main characters. These strangers speculate about who our main characters are, whose the husband, who is the lover or ex-lover, are they family members? What is their dynamic? It's the kind of conversation many of use nosy people have had about strangers in public for years. It might break with formal film construction to begin the movie from a perspective other than that of your main character but this breaking of formality is rather brilliant once you come to understand the story being told in Past Lives. 

Past Lives is the kind of movies that spark your imagination in unique ways. It leads you to conversations about it and its many, many ideas about life, love, relationships, friendships, and the dynamics of the heart and mind. It invites you to consider the role you play in the lives of others and how any meaningful interaction you've had with another person has changed you in some way, for good or for ill. It's about how the impressions you make on others matter in ways we most often overlook. It's about a gentle, thoughtful exploration of these ideas via three wonderfully complicated and warm characters. 

24 years ago in South Korea, Nora (Greta Lee) became friends with Hae Sung (Teo Yoo). They may have had more than friendly feelings for each other, but they were too young for that kind of thing. They did go on what their mother's called a 'date' but, again, too young for them to actually know what that means. In school they competed and encouraged each other. When Hae Sung finally beat Nora on a test, she cried and he offered her comfort, in the sort of rudimentary way a teenage boy might offer comfort. Their friendship is rather lovely until Nora bluntly informs her class that her family is moving to America, and she fails to prepare her best friend for this bombshell. 

He's clearly hurt by this and the two part ways almost silently, their last word being a simple and blunt 'Bye.' It takes a decade, but they do eventually reconnect. While chatting with her mother, Nora decides to search for her childhood friend on Facebook. She finds that he's been searching for her as well. This leads to a brief flirtation via Skype, hey it was a decade ago, okay? The relationship gets emotional and involved and discussions are had about seeing each other but life gets in the way. He can't travel to America because of his work, and she can't visit Korea because she's earned a chance to travel to a prestigious writer's commune. She suggests they take a break and he agrees. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom

Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (1984)

Directed by Steven Spielberg 

Written by Willard Huyck, Gloria Katz 

Starring Harrison Ford, Kate Capshaw, Ke Huy Quan, Amrish Puri 

Release Date May 23rd, 1984 

Published July 3rd, 2023 

Controversial opinion alert: I think Temple of Doom is the best Indiana Jones movie. Before you click away in disgust, allow me to make my case. I don't expect to convince you to agree with me. I understand this is a personal preference thing, my opinion is not more important than yours. But I want the chance to talk about the unending pleasures I find in Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom. From the opening scene to the final moments of Indiana Jones triumphing over evil, Temple of Doom is the most fun Indiana Jones adventure of them all. 

The opening set piece of Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom is incredible. It opens with a terrific musical number by Kate Capshaw, a lavish, gaudy, opening number that really sets the tone for who she is in this story, a classic screwball heroine. Our hero, Indiana Jones, is here to meet with gangsters with whom he has made a deal. Indy has secured a relic they want and in exchange, Indy is supposed to get a rare and quite large diamond. Naturally, betrayal is afoot, Indy gets poisoned and the bad guys withhold the antidote as a way of getting Indy to give back his treasure. 

The scene devolves into screwball chaos from there as the gangsters start shooting, Indy starts punching, he's chasing the vial full of cure, Willie (Capshaw), is chasing the diamond, and they both must run to get away from the many, many bullets being fired. This leads to one of my favorite action moments ever as Indy cuts loose a giant steel gong hanging from the ceiling of the nightclub. It lands and rolls off the stage and as it does, Indy hides behind it, using it as a shield from the tommy gun being endlessly fired in his direction. When Willie grabs the cure, Indy grabs her, and they both go flying through a window. 

The scene leads to a comic set piece with the two falling through numerous awnings before landing perfectly as Short Round (Ke Huy Quan) shows up with the getaway car. A chase scene ensues until Indy makes it to a plane only to reveal a terrific gag that yes, doesn't entirely make sense, but is still quite funny in presentation, especially Indy's comic grin as he thinks he's showed up the gangsters only to reveal to us the trouble he's just bought for himself. Spielberg's direction is pitch perfect, the adventure here feels like a direct lift from an Errol Flynn adventure from the 30s or 40s, and the screwball comedies of that era get wonderful homage as well. 

Much like Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark thrives on Spielberg and George Lucas's love of action serial movies from the era of Saturday afternoon matinees, Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom ages up for homage to Errol Flynn crossed with a classic screwball comedy with just the right touch of Hope and Crosby travel picture. All of it elevated to a level of originality by Spielberg at the height of his cinematic powers. Spielberg's talent for tone and invention is on best display in Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom as he deftly crosses comic touches with scares involving hearts being ripped out of bodies and child slaves living under the whip of a dangerous cult. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Raiders of the Lost Ark

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) 

Directed by Steven Spielberg 

Written by Lawrence Kasden 

Starring Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, John Rhys Davies, Denholm Elliott 

Release Date July 12th 1981 

Published July 2nd 1981 

It's the spirit of Indiana Jones that gets me every time I watch Raiders of the Lost Ark. The sense of wonder and excitement that Steven Spielberg brings to his direction, the choices he makes in staging acting, and the way he and Harrison Ford clearly know the vibe they are going for, it's glorious to watch. I may not have grown up on the kind of serialized adventures that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg did, but watching Raiders of the Lost Ark, I feel like I was there with them, when they were little boys, delighting in adventures that they would watch over and over again at the movie theaters of their youth. 

It's a spirit of adventure as much as it is an actual adventure that you enjoy when you watch Raiders of the Lost Ark. It's old school movie magic, a sense of wonder that permeates the screen. In trying to recreate their youth, Spielberg and Lucas invited us along, welcomed us like fellow kids into their exuberant childhood obsessions, they invited us to play with them. It's invitation to be a little kid again and watch as a charismatic hero takes center stage to perform daring stunts because it needs to be done, it' the right and just thing. 

The simple pleasures of Raiders of the Lost Ark are amplified but the wonderful intention of Raiders of the Lost Ark. It's intended to thrill you in a way that Spielberg and Lucas understand the thrill of their own childhoods. It's the purest expression of childlike wonder and nostalgia, rendered fresh and new via remarkable artistry, effects, and a movie star that feels perfectly at home amid the wonder and excitement. Harrison Ford is different from Spielberg and Lucas in a way that carries the spirit of Indiana Jones but also stands aside from it. 

Where Spielberg and Lucas are in earnest admiration of this kind of adventure, Ford's performance doesn't hold the same kind of preciousness. He's living the adventure, he's living Indiana Jones as if the character existed wholly within a real world. This is an essential part of his appeal. Had he attempted to deliver the same kind of enthusiasm and wonder that Lucas and Spielberg were bringing to the creation of Raiders of the Lost Ark, the whole thing could tip into a childish parody. Ford is very much the adult in the room, grounding the action from the perspective of someone taking all of this very seriously. 

That's because, for Indiana Jones, this is all very serious For him, it's an adventure but it is a genuinely life or death adventure. For him, there must be a sense of gravity, a sense of weight, he's providing the stakes of this story. He doesn't have time to indulge in the wonder or step back and think about being in the midst of an incredible adventure, this is life or death, and Ford brings that sense of gravity to Indiana Jones in a wonderfully tricky fashion. He must balance being the embodiment of a wondrous adventure and communicate the grave circumstances that he faces in this story all at once. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny

Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny (2023) 

Directed by James Mangold 

Written by Jez Butterworth, John Henry Butterworth, David Koepp, James Mangold 

Starring Harrison Ford, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Mads Mikkelsen, Boyd Holbrook 

Release Date June 30th, 2023 

Published June 29th, 2023 

The thing that bugs me about our microwaved nostalgia culture is how often I fall for that nostalgia. Take my reaction to The Flash. I did like that movie, I stand by my positive review, problematic star aside, but the reality is that my judgment was clouded by nostalgia for my childhood. Seeing Michael Keaton in the Batsuit again, playing the role that was so important to my childhood, made me very emotional. Was I emotional because the presentation was artful and meaningful? Sort of, but I can't deny how much nostalgia for my own childhood colored that reaction. 

Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny is that moment in The Flash as an entire movie and the effect didn't last nearly as long. In the first few minutes, the legendary John Williams score played and my breath caught for a moment as I was transported back in time to being a very little kid seeing Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time. I was transported back to the even more significant impact, for me, of seeing Temple of Doom in a movie theater with my mother. That John Williams score is an emotional trigger for me and for millions of other Gen-X movie nerds. 

Then a ragged and grumpy Harrison Ford came on screen and the adventure began and my mind began trying to rationalize what I was seeing. Instead of actually enjoying the action of Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny, most of my mental energy was dedicated to convincing myself that I was enjoying this rehash of greatest hits from an aging action star and a character well past his relevance. Even as I was falling in love with Phoebe Waller Bridge, who joins the franchises as Dr. Jones' heretofore unknown Goddaughter, Helena, I could not escape the mental gymnastics I was having to perform to will myself to enjoy something familiar and formerly beloved. 

Is Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny bad? No, not really. The film is directed by James Mangold who is a perfectly solid, professional director. Jez and John Henry Butterworth are solid screenwriters with a solid track record and David Koepp, co-credited on this screenplay, is among the most successful screenwriters in Hollywood. The pieces are there to make a perfectly satisfying action movie. So why don't I like this movie? Why am I having to convince myself that this is good? It starts with a half-baked and convoluted plot that lacks the energy and invention of the first two Indiana Jones movies. 

Aside from Phoebe Waller Bridge, Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny appears tired and lurching toward adventure as opposed to the excitement and vigor of its youthful beginnings 42 years ago. The original adventures weren't bullet proof in terms of plotting but they made up for plot holes with energy, excitement and adventure. Indiana Jones and The Dial of Destiny however, feels obligatory and that feeling works reveal more about the poorly thought out, too many cooks in the kitchen, plot holes. Three screenwriters and director James Mangold have clearly cobbled together pieces into the whole of Dial of Destiny and the patchwork is all too clear. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Horror in the 90s Soultaker

Soultaker (1990) 

Directed by Michael Rissi 

Written by Vivian Schilling 

Starring Vivian Schilling, Joe Estevez, Robert Z'Dar, Gregg Thomsen

Release Date October 26th, 1990 

Box Office $43,000 

When I went looking for Soultaker in order to watch it for this project, it wasn't available. I couldn't find it for rent or purchase in terms of streaming services. I mentioned to a friend of mine that I was having trouble finding it and they surprised me with a DVD copy. That sounds fortuitous right? That sounds like good luck for me doesn't it? The DVD I was given by my friend was not an official DVD of Soultaker. Rather, it was an official dub of an episode of the comedy series, Mystery Science Theater 3000. 

I was not aware of the full reputation of Soultaker when I decided to include it in Horror in the 90s. When I made the list, I saw the title Soultaker and that it was in the horror genre. I wanted to see what a movie called Soultaker was like. Had I known that its reputation was that of one of the worst horror movies ever made, I would have thought twice about including it in this book. What possible lessors or ideas could be gleaned from watching a truly terrible horror movie? 

There are certainly plenty of bad horror movies that I have watched for this book, without knowing for sure ahead of time that they were terrible. Thus, having already been told how bad Soultaker was, I had a choice to make as to whether or not it was worth seeing. That choice was complicated also by the fact that I cannot watch it in its original form. The only access to Soultaker currently is this Mystery Science Theater 3000 riffed version. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

Classic Movie Review One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)

Directed by Milos Forman

Written by Lawrence Hauben, Bo Goldman 

Starring Jack Nicholson, Louise Fletcher, William Redfield, Danny Devito, Christopher Lloyd 

Release Date November 19th, 1975 

This week’s classic, (August 13th, 2017) on the I Hate Critics Movie Review podcast was One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, Milos Forman’s remarkable Best Picture winning triumph. It’s been years since I had sat down to watch this remarkable film and I was surprised at just how powerful the film remains. The story of patients in a mental ward whose lives are upended when they meet Jack Nicholson’s firebrand, criminally insane, R.P McMurphy, is truly unlike any film of its era.

R.P McMurphy is a dangerous man, a volatile personality. McMurphy’s reputation as a stirrer of the proverbial pot seems ill-suited from the very beginning for Nurse Ratched’s (Louise Fletcher) orderly, scheduled, and heavily medicated psych ward. In fact, on McMurphy’s very first day we get signs of things to come as he mugs his way about stirring up his fellow patients with his antics. It seems certain from our perspective in the audience that McMurphy is going to be trouble, the only question is how much trouble.

In a typical movie, the story would be McMurphy’s antics but director Milos Forman establishes throughout One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest that as entertaining as McMurphy is in the performance of the glorious Jack Nicholson, at the height of his charismatic powers, this isn’t a typical movie. We may delight at times in McMurphy’s antics, his escape attempts, his pot stirring, et cetera, but the movie is only here to observe a day to day progression of McMurphy, the patients around him and the staff of the hospital.

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Horror in the 90s Night of the Living Dead

Night of the Living Dead (1990) 

Directed by Tom Savini 

Written by John A. Russo, George A. Romero 

Starring Tony Todd, Patricia Tallman, McKee Anderson, Tom Towles 

Release Date October 19th, 1990 

Box Office Gross $5.8 million 

The 1968 classic Night of the Living Dead is one of the greatest horror movies ever made. There was really no need for a remake. Any movie that tried to recapture the iconic qualities of the original was always doomed to failure. Naturally, the motivation to remake the George A. Romero classic was a shyster producer looking for a popular title that they could ring some cast out of. Enter Menaham Golan, half of the schlockmeister team of Golan and Globus, famous for awful sequels from Chuck Norris to Superman. It's doubtful that Golan ever even saw Romero's 1968 classic. All he wanted was the title and concept. 

That Golan hired special effects master Tom Savini to direct the remake makes sense, Golan figured he could save on salaries for both director and special effects by hiring one guy. I know that sounds cynical, but that is the exact type of corner cutting that Golan made his fortune on in the 1980s. Night of the Living Dead was Savini's first effort as a director and thus he could be brought in cheap with the added bonus of providing special effects and makeup prowess to the proceedings. 

The remake of Night of the Living Dead stars Patricia Tallman as Barbara. As she visits the grave or her late mother, along with her brother Johnny (Bill Mosely), Barbara is accosted by a strange lumbering man carrying the stench of death and a fearsome emptiness behind his. In the ensuing scuffle, Johnny is killed and Barbara goes on the run as another strange, lumbering, being emerges and reveals himself to having been recently autopsied. 

Running away, a hysterical Barbara arrives at a farm house looking for shelter. Unfortunately, what she finds inside are more of the undead lumbering and lurching after her. Barbara is rescued by the arrival of Ben (Tony Todd), who has, at the very least, learned that taking these beings out with a head shot is the only way to stop them from trying to eat their victim. Together, Ben and Barbara dispatch a pair of the monstrous undead before finding out they aren't the only ones alive in this farm house. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

Movie Review God is a Bullet

God is a Bullet (2023)

Directed by Nick Cassavetes 

Written by Nick Cassavetes

Starring Maika Monroe, Nikolaj Coster Waldau, January Jones, Jamie Foxx 

Release Date June 23rd, 2023

Published June 22nd, 2023

God is a Bullet is an unrelentingly grim, gross, exercise in ugliness. Written and directed by Nick Cassavetes, directing with all of the artful subtlety of a sledgehammer, God is a Bullet pretends toward being a serious investigation of the horrors of human trafficking. In reality, God is a Bullet is an idiots notion of what a serious movie about a serious topic should look like. Imagine an Adam Sandler style director trying to make their version of Soderbergh's Traffic and you can get a sense of how ungodly stupid God is a Bullet truly is. 

God is a Bullet stars Nikolaj Coster Waldau as Bob Hightower, a Police Officer somewhere in the United States. Though we are told by other characters that Bob is a desk jockey, and not a particularly good cop, Bob doesn't look like a guy who eats donuts all day. Indeed, one scene in the movie shows badass Bob gluing himself back together after a severe stab wound, showing off not only how stupid he is for not going to a hospital, but also washboard abs that your average gym rat would envy. Kind of defeats the purpose of saying he's an everyman when he's got the abs of your average professional wrestler. 

Anyway, that's not an important point. God is a Bullet finds Bob having to track down a Satanic cult that has kidnapped his teenage daughter and murdered his ex-wife and her new husband. Bob is aided in his search by a former member of this Satanic Cult, Case Hardin (Maika Monroe), who narrowly escaped with her life before winding up at a rehab facility. Case agrees to help Bob find his daughter out of the guilt she feels for having helped kidnap other young girls like Bob's daughter. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review The Man from Rome

The Man from Rome (2023) 

Directed by Sergio Dow 

Written by Adrian Bol, Beth Bollinger, Gretchen Cowan 

Starring Richard Armitage, Amaia Salamanca, Paul Guilfoyle 

Release Date June 29th, 2023 

Published June 26th, 2023 

I knew I was in for an unintentional laugh riot in The Man from Rome when the first scene featured a hacking of the Vatican. Now, I am sure the Vatican probably does have a modern infrastructure with a secure network and so on. They may even have a database that they would prefer not to have being hacked. That said, the scene is framed like every movie hacking scene ever. It's as if The Vatican morphs into FBI headquarters and Ethan Hunt's computer guy in Mission Impossible were tip tapping away to get into the FBI database. As staged, it's just so silly to see Vatican security trying to battle a hacker. 

The hacker succeeds in getting through Vatican security via the power of movie level typing. What was the hacker doing? They were hacking the Pope's personal laptop. I love the idea of the Pope lying in bed late at night watching Netflix and he gets hacked. The film does show the Pope on his laptop in bed and the sight is wonderfully incongruous. Again, I'm sure The Pope is as modern as any other Boomer, but it doesn't stop the sight of him in bed with a laptop from breaking out into giggles at how it looks. 

The hacker has some information about a business deal and a haunted church in Seville, Spain that is killing people. The hacker believes that someone in the Vatican is helping the business deal to destroy the church go through and they don't trust that anyone would get this information to The Pope so they have to hack the Vatican. For his part, The Pope, played by Franco Nero, is easily convinced that something strange is afoot. He immediately assigns a top Vatican investigator to the case, Father Quart (Richard Armitage). 

In another example of how delightfully, unintentionally silly The Man from Rome is, Father Quart arrives in Seville and has a deeply awkward and stilted conversation with a local detective. The detective, in explaining to us just how good Father Quart is as an investigator, says "If you ever decide to turn in that collar for a badge and a gun, you know where to find me." In this universe, Vatican higher ups are just like cops. The cop movie tropes don't stop there as the rest of the movie plays out like a modern cop movie investigation with guns and murder attempts and duplicitous, corrupt businessmen. 

The Vatican being portrayed like a Police Precinct in an 80s cop movie is perhaps the most unexpected trend of 2023. The thriller, The Pope's Exorcist, starring Russell Crowe, had the same vibe, right down to Crowe's priest nearly being asked to turn in his holy water and collar over his above the law approach to exorcism. And, in a strange coincidence that could mean these movies exist in the same weird universe, The Pope in The Pope' Exorcist and in The Man from Rome are played by the same actor, Italian legend Franco Nero. 

Nero is the seen it all, I'm too old for this s### Pope of your cop movie dreams. He never gets the chance to demand that Richard Armitage turn in his badge and gun, but in The Pope's Exorcist, he does act as Russell Crowe's man in the chair, sending him vital information for his case exactly when he needs it. The Pope in The Man from Rome is mostly just there to kick things into gear and then take a back seat for the rest of the less than thrilling action. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Horror in the 90s Tremors

Tremors (1990) 

Directed by Ron Underwood

Written by Ron Underwood, S.S Wilson 

Starring Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Michael Gross, Reba McEntire, Finn Carter

Release Date January 19th, 1990 

Box Office Gross $16.9 million 

Somehow, I had managed to convince myself that I didn't like the movie Tremors. I don't know where this opinion came from as I am not sure I had actually watched the movie until now. I have little memory of seeing it before seeing it for this project and quite enjoying it. Indeed, I really had a great time watching Tremors. Why I thought I had disliked it is a mystery to me. It's my own personal Mandela Effect, my mind was convinced that I had disliked the movie when reality was that I had not seen Tremors before. 

That's about as deep as I can be in a review of a movie with such shallow pleasures as Tremors. That might sound insulting, but it's not intended that way. Tremors is quite shallow but that's not a bad thing. Instead of going for anything of substance, Tremors is about shocks and thrills, a gross monster and plenty of gross jokes as well. The movie is intentionally dumb with dopey characters getting by on their wits and dumb luck as they battle one of the most inventive movie monsters in quite many years. 

Tremors stars Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward as Val and Earl, Nevada rednecks working every part time job in their tiny, tiny community. Indeed, Perfection, Nevada has all of 14 residents. That is until residents start to get sucked into the ground and eaten by giant, poop brown slugs with snakes for tongues. It takes a little while to get going but once Val and Earl find out about the giant monsters, the movie takes on a much faster pace and cleverly pays homage to drive-in monsters of the past. 

That's the true heart of Tremors, an old school monster movie. Elements of The Blob, The Killer Shrews, Night of the Lepus, Shriek of the Mutilated and so on. Tremors isn't as much of a blood and guts horror movie as those films, the kills are relatively tame by the standards of some of the great 60s drive-in movies, but the homage is still quite clear. In the heart of Tremors, this is a movie you half watch while making out in a car, in a field, with a tinny speaker in the window and a sea of fellow cars stuffed with friends. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

 

Movie Review No Hard Feelings

No Hard Feelings (2023) 

Directed by Gene Stupnitsky

Written by Gene Stupnitsky 

Starring Jennifer Lawrence, Andrew Barth Feldman, Natalie Morales, Matthew Broderick 

Release Date June 23rd, 2023 

Published June 23rd, 2023 

No Hard Feelings is absolutely hysterical. Starring Jennifer Lawrence as a struggling Uber driver trying to save her home after losing her car to an asset seizure, the film takes raunchy comedy on a ride that never stops being hilariously funny. As Maddie Barker, Lawrence finds herself in danger of losing her home unless she can find a way to get a new car fast. That's when serendipity strikes. A bizarre post online offers hope in a very unexpected way. A rich family is offering an older but still good looking mid-sized Sedan for a strange but reasonable price. 

What makes it strange? The price is dating the family's teenage son, Percy (Andrew Barth Feldman). And by date, Percy's parents, Laird (Matthew Broderick) and Allison (Laura Benanti), mean having sex with him. Helicopter parents to the extreme. As Laird explains, he had an experience when he was Percy's age that changed his life, brought him out of his shell, and led him to become rich, successful, and now happily married. He hopes that his son having a similar experience, even if it is paid for, will have the same effect on him. 

If this premise is a problem for you, then this movie is not for you. No Hard Feelings is uncompromising in the opinion that there is absolutely nothing wrong with Maddie trading sex for a vehicle. She's a grown woman who is in charge of her body and her decisions and she has no problem doing what she needs to do to save her childhood home. We live in a deeply screwed up version of capitalism that leads to this type of situation, one in which the poor have to fight for the scraps of the very, very rich by any means necessary, but this movie isn't about that, at least not directly. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Sleepless in Seattle

Sleepless in Seattle (2023) 

Directed by Nora Ephron 

Written by Nora Ephron, David S. Ward, Jeff Arch 

Starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Rita Wilson, Victor Garber, Rosie O'Donnell, Bill Pullman 

Release Date June 25th, 1993

Published June 26th, 2023 

Losing my mother in 2013 was the hardest thing that I have ever endured. My mom was awesome. She worked three retail jobs, 80 to 90 hours per week, when I was a kid, just to make sure that myself and my sister had food and a good home. All that time, she remained unsinkable in her spirit and love. She was a human teddy bear, soft and comforting. Her worst quality was that when someone she loved was suffering, she would make that suffering her own, as if she could take our pain away by making it her pain. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have had a mom who was so loving and empathetic. 

My mom fostered my love of movies. I have a distinct memory from my childhood of my mother swooning over Cary Grant. I'd make fun of her for her reaction to Cary Grant movies and she would lean into it by talking about how handsome and charming he was in effusive terms. I can recall the first time I saw my mom cry was the day she was supposed to go see Cary Grant's one man show in Davenport, Iowa. That show never happened as Grant died the night before the show was to take place. My mom showed me that para-social relationships with celebrity weren't a bad thing, they were a human thing. 

The movie Sleepless in Seattle, which features prominent references to Cary Grant, became a favorite movie for my mom. She would watch it any chance she got. She didn't love Tom Hanks as she did Cary Grant, but her heart leapt seeing him fall for Meg Ryan at the last minute. She felt the same rush of emotion every time she watched the movie, even as she'd seen it a dozen times and was fully aware that the happy ending was coming. She always got teary when Meg Ryan took Tom Hanks' hand at the end of the movie. It showed me that being emotional about movies was not just okay, but something that just happens when you witness something beautiful. 

Sleepless in Seattle is a beautiful film. It's a celebration of magical romance and believing in something beyond yourself, the notion of fate. The characters of Sam Baldwin and Annie Reed were fated to be together. The universe conspires to unite them. Through the audacity and resolute stubbornness of Sam's son, Jonah, and the good luck that he has a best friend, played by Gaby Hoffman, whose parents are travel agents, Sam and Annie are brought dramatically together on the most romantic day of the year in one of the most romantic spots on the planet. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Asteroid City

Asteroid City (2023) 

Directed by Wes Anderson 

Written by Wes Anderson 

Starring Jason Schwartzman, Edward Norton, Scarlett Johansson, Tom Hanks, Steve Carell, Tilda Swinton, Willem Dafoe, Jeffrey Wright

Release Date June 23rd, 2023 

Published June 23rd, 2023 

I adore the work of writer-director Wes Anderson. As a film critic with more than 20 years of experience writing about movies, Anderson's work has an unusual appeal for me. I see so many movies that look the same, go for the same goals, demonstrate the same filmmaking technique, and though they can be quite good or not good, the sameness of most of what I see becomes monotonous. Then, along comes a Wes Anderson movie like an alien from another planet. Instead of striving to place his characters in a place we can recognize and identify with them in a typical fashion, Anderson's style creates a surreal reality all its own. 

In his first feature film, Bottle Rocket, the characters were colorful and odd amid a realistic landscape. Since then, The Royal Tenenbaums began a turn for Anderson that led to more and more of a surrealist perspective. Anderson is a fan of artifice, and he brings artifice forward in his cinematography and production design. In his newest, remarkably ingenious work, called Asteroid, the surrealist production design is intended to logically marry the stage and film. It's as if Wes Anderson wanted to adapt a play into a movie but wanted to bring both the play and the movie forward at once. It's an exceptionally silly, funny, brilliant move. 

Trying to describe the plot of Asteroid City is rather pointless. Wes Anderson isn't so much interested in his plot. Rather, it's a Wes Anderson style of comedy, a series of odd, awkward, and often various funny scenes that may or may not be moving forward a plot. On the surface, we are following photographer and family man, Augie Steenbeck (Jason Schwartzman), as he takes his kids across the country and their car breaks down in the oddball small town of Asteroid City. Luckily, they were on their way here anyway as Augie's oldest son, Woodrow (Jake Ryan), is to compete for a science scholarship. 

Asteroid City is the real star of Asteroid City. At the center of the town, which is made up of, perhaps four locations, is a giant crater where an asteroid landed in 3200 B.C. The town grew up around the asteroid as scientists and military men seek to understand the asteroid. Tilda Swinton is the top scientist and Jeffrey Wright is the military man. Things get crazy when an alien comes to Earth and takes the asteroid. The arrival of an alien causes the town, and all of its visitors, including Augie and his four kids, celebrity actress, Midge Campbell (Scarlett Johannson) and her genius daughter, Dina (Grace Edwards). 

Augie begins a tentative flirtation with Midge, their tiny cabins are right next door to each other, and Woodrow starts a budding relationship with Dinah as they work with their fellow genius kids, played by Sophia Lillis and Ethan Josh Lee to study the alien while also making sure the rest of the world knows that the alien exists, much to the chagrin of the military and their parents. The genius kids also work with Tilda Swinton's scientist to try and determine where the alien went and whether or not the alien is dangerous or not. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review The Nut Job 2 Nutty By Nature

The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature (2017)

Directed by Cal Brunker

Written by Cal Brunker, Scott Bindley, Bob Barlen

Starring Will Arnett, Maya Rudolf, Jackie Chan, Katherine Heigl 

Release Date August 11th, 2017 

To call out The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature for creative bankruptcy would be as futile as calling out Congress for its corruption. Sure, both of those assessments are of equal accuracy but they are also empty facts of life that aren’t going to change simply because we point them out. So, what then do we make of The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature? Now that we’ve accepted the creative bankruptcy what is left for us to ponder?

The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature, picks up where 2014’s The Nut Job left off with Surly Squirrel (Will Arnett) and his woodland pals living the high life in their adopted home inside a nut shop. The gravy train of free nuts seems endless but Surly’s gal-pal Andie (Katherine Heigl) remains worried. Andie wants everyone to get out of the nut shop and go forage in the park just in case something ever happens to their gravy train. Her concerns are laughed off until something does happen and the nut shop explodes, thankfully with our characters on the outside.

Left homeless and without a food source, Surly leads his crew back into the park only to find that the town’s corrupt Mayor (Bobby Moynihan), who literally has the phrase EmBzzler as his license plate, is demolishing the park in favor of an amusement park filled with garish, overpriced and highly unsafe rides; because apparently demolishing the park isn’t enough, kids need to know that the Mayor is getting kickbacks for his unsafe choices. Hey, what kid doesn’t love plots about corrupt politicians?

Naturally, the animal pals look to Surly for a plan and he’s got a whopper, a literal war with the machines that are tearing up the park. This leads to an action scene in which the animals battle bulldozers and earth-movers and cause as much damage to the park as the bulldozers and earth-movers were doing without the aid of the animals attempting to destroy them. When our furry friends are thwarted in their efforts they must find a new home or find another way to fight back that doesn’t get them all killed.

In case the plot description didn’t grab you don’t worry because The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature has a brand-new character that is guaranteed to go right for your wallet. Jackie Chan provides the voice of Mr. Feng, a cute little mouse who was once a forest dweller but was driven to the city by the same corrupt Mayor now taking away Surly’s home. Mr. Feng’s schtick is that though he and his fellow mice are adorable they cannot stand being called cute and when they are called cute they react with violence.

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media