Movie Review Priscilla

Priscilla (2023) 

Directed by Sofia Coppola 

Written by Sofia Coppola 

Starring Cailee Spaeny, Jacob Elordi

Release Date 11-03-2023 

Published 11-04-2023 

Sofia Coppola is one of the best directors on the planet. She has a distinctive style, a mastery of tone, and the patience required to tell stories in a way only she can. A Sofia Coppola movie will not be mistaken for another director. Coppola's style is hypnotic and gorgeous. Her patient approach to allowing her characters to reveal themselves via action rather than clumsy dialogue is almost unmatched. There is no bombast, no major theatrics, and a distinct lack of commerciality. It's a kind of direction that simply speaks to me and how I enjoy experiencing a movie. 

Priscilla is a unique challenge for Sofia Coppola. She's used to being the complete master of her narrative. Here however, she has a template, a kind of history that requires a fealty to the memory of generations. The life of Elvis Presley is among the most well-known and documented in human history, matched only perhaps, by the life of Marilyn Monroe. People have particular expectations of a movie that is going to depict even a fraction of that life. Priscilla, obviously, isn't about Elvis but by his design, her life is defined in many ways by him. 

We are entirely in Priscilla's space in Priscilla but because Elvis was a controlling man, a man unaware that he is an abuser, few abusers see themselves as they are, Priscilla has no life that isn't defined by his wants, his desires, and his schedule. And that's the hallmark of this story. As much as Priscilla Presley doesn't want to demonize her ex-husband and the father of her child, his actions speak for themselves in how he isolated a young woman from her support system and used emotional and financial abuse tactics to keep Priscilla under control. 

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Movie Review What Happens Later

What Happens Later (2023) 

Directed by Meg Ryan 

Written by Meg Ryan, Steven Dietz, Kirk Lynn

Starring Meg Ryan, David Duchovny 

Release Date November 3rd, 2023 

Published November 6th, 2023 

What Happens Later stars Meg Ryan as Willa and David Duchovny as William or Bill, depending on how well you know him. Some of the time he's known as W. Davis and, by coincidence, Willa's last name is also Davis. Hence they are both W. Davis. This is something that the movie finds adorable though it didn't mean much to me. Regardless, both W. Davis' are in a Midwest airport in the midst of a massive weather event and they are going to be stuck here overnight as the airport shuts down and somehow leaves only them behind. 

That both W. Davis and W. Davis happen to be ex-lovers with a lengthy and notable romantic history from their early 20s in Madison, Wisconsin, is another thing all together. When we meet these adorable travelers each is trying to avoid seeing the other. They recognize each other at different points and each tries to hide from the other without success. When they do connect they will spend the rest of the day connected, bickering back and forth about their past, their present and their future destinations. They will spend the next 24 hours going over their past and revealing things about themselves and how two people can share the same experience and still see what happened entirely different. 

Willa is on her way to Boston from her home in Austin, Texas. On the other hand, Bill is on his way to Austin from his home in Boston. Weird and cute right? Willa claims that she's going to Boston to visit an old friend and perform a cleansing ceremony for her but that's a lie that will be revealed later. Bill is heading to Austin for a meeting with his millennial boss who he cannot understand because the millennial speaks about safe spaces and doesn't like saying no. It's the kind of boomer reductive idea of millennials that has been tired for quite a long time. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Fearless

Fearless (1993) 

Directed by Peter Weir 

Written by Raphael Yglesias 

Starring Jeff Bridges, Rosie Perez, Isabella Rossellini, Benicio Del Toro 

Release Date October 15th, 1993 

Published November 6th, 2023 

Fearless stars Jeff Bridges as Max Kline, an architect who survives a deadly plane crash. We meet Max just as he's emerging from the smoking hull of the plane, several passengers trailing behind him. He appears stunned but also serenely calm as holds the hand of a child and is carrying a baby. After handing off the child to a first responder, Max goes in search of the mother of the child. After reuniting mother and baby, Max simply wanders off. He doesn't merely leave the side of the mother, he leaves the sight of the crash. 

Fast forward to a hotel for a quick shower and Max is off. We next see him arrive at a home where the woman inside, a married homemaker recognizes him and welcomes him inside briefly. The two are ex-lovers and they share a few memories over lunch. And then, Max is back at his hotel where he's located by authorities who've been trying to account for him since the crash. The airline wants to give Max a free train ride back to his home in San Francisco but Max, unexpectedly insists on flying back, first class. This is despite his having had serious fear of flying prior to having survived this crash. 

Back home we will learn that Max has a wife and son that he no longer appears to care for. Nearly dying has made Max a creature of the moment, a man with no time for anything that isn't his immediate desire. Much to the dismay of his otherwise loving and caring wife, Laura (Isabella Rosselini), Max has no interest in being home. Instead, Max seeks out one of his fellow survivors, Carla (Rosie Perez), with whom he pursues a relationship, mostly friendly, though he does eventually talk about running away with her. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review Quiz Lady

Quiz Lady (2023) 

Directed by Jessica Yu

Written by Jen D'Angelo 

Starring Awkwafina, Sandra Oh, Will Ferrell, Jason Schwartzman, Holland Taylor

Release Date November 3rd, 2023 

Published November 7th, 2023 

Quiz Lady is a curiously boring movie. Despite having a spitfire star in comedian and actor Awkwafina, Quiz Lady sputters and drags its way through a dimwitted plot on the way to an unearned happy ending. As someone who is a huge fan of Awkwafina's work, Quiz Lady is uniquely disappointing. Playing against type as a grumpy, frumpy, afraid of the world shut-in, the typically appealing qualities of Awkwafina are dialed back to nothing. Why would anyone want to make a live wire like Awkwafina into a wet blanket? It makes no sense. 

In Quiz Lady, Awkwafina plays Anne Yum, an office worker who is obsessed with a Jeopardy-style quiz show, Can't Stop the Quiz. Hosted by Terry McTeer, the show became a life preserver for young Anne when her parents broke up. Since then, Anne has never missed an episode. She's memorized the questions, and is so familiar with the trivia and tropes, she can reel off the answers to any question right off the top of her head. No one knows yet that she can do this, she doesn't get out of the house much.

Naturally, that state of affairs will change. Anne's ordered, shut-in, life is upended when her mother goes missing from her nursing home. The disappearance leads to the return home of Anne's tornado of a sister, Jenny (Sandra Oh). Jenny is homeless and jobless, couch-surfing while she waits for what she claims will be a big payout from a lawsuit she filed against a chain restaurant. Jenny is coming home to stay but not long after arriving, she puts her sister on a path to get out of the house. 

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Classic Movie Review Quiz Show

Quiz Show (1994)

Directed by Robert Redford 

Written by Paul Attanasio 

Starring Ralph Fiennes, John Turturro, Rob Morrow, Paul Scofield, Christopher McDonald, David Paymer, Hank Azaria, Martin Scorsese 

Release Date September 14th, 1994 

Published November 7th, 2023 

The erosion of public trust was not simply something that happened as a result of Watergate. The erosion of public trust can be traced to several different historic flashpoints that include such events as the assassination of President Kennedy, the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr, the McCarthy hearings, and, less historically well known but of a similar importance in tracking the erosion of trust between the public and the media, the public and government, and the public and the intelligentsia, is the Quiz Show scandal of the 1950s. 

Director Robert Redford lays out a strong case that the growth of cynicism toward public institutions began not just with the rebellion of the 1960s. It began with a simple Quiz Show called 21. The game was rigged. Though the venerable NBC network and uber-rich sponsor company Geritol, presented the show as a legitimate competition between everyday folks who happened to be remarkably well versed at memorizing facts, the shows were, in fact, scripted so that certain people would win. When ratings started to fall, that person would lose and be replaced by someone who might raise the ratings once more. 

It's a deeply cynical approach but, one that enthralled an America that was very early into the honeymoon phase when it came to television. It was an innocent time when people wanted to believe they could trust the people whose faces were beamed into their home everyday. People like Jack Berry (Christopher McDonald), the well dressed and affable host of 21 carried a public trust, not unlike a newsman. His integrity and that of the show mattered to the public. The show even played that integrity as a marketing gimmick. 

In the opening moments of Quiz Show we open on a bank where a safe deposit box is being opened. Armed guards remove a package. One guard passes the package to another who climbs inside of an armored car. That armored car then receives a police escort to 30 Rockefeller Center, the television home of NBC and the Quiz Show 21. Inside the package being carried, again, by armed guards, are the vaunted questions, a guarded secret even from host Jack Berry. 21 traded on the supposed integrity of the game. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Freelance

Freelance (2023)

Directed by Pierre Morel 

Written by Jacob Lentz

Starring John Cena, Alison Brie, Martin Csokas, Christian Slater, Juan Pablo Rana

Release Date October 27th, 2023 

Published October 30th, 2023

Freelance stars John Cena as an ex-special forces military man turned suburban-lawyer-dad. Miserable, and on the verge of divorce from his wife, played by Alice Eve, Cena's Mason Pettits' decides to re-enter the world of military security. With the help of his friend, played by Christian Slater, who Wikipedia credits as 'Mason's Boss,' Cena gets a 5 figure paycheck for what should be a cakewalk of a security job. Mason will accompany a disgraced journalist, Claire Wellington (Alison Brie), to some made up South American dictatorship and keep her safe while she interviews the legendary dictator Juan Venegas (Juan Pablo Rana). 

Venegas hasn't given an interview in 10 years and he hopes that this interview will allow him to show how his country is changing. Meanwhile, Mason is no stranger to this country. He was here some 10 years earlier when he and a few fellow soldiers were nearly killed doing a mission. Naturally, Mason assumes it was the dictator who killed several of his fellow soldiers so his role here is a little tense. He has a grudge against Venegas and now he will be in close proximity to him. And hilariousness ensues. 

Oh how I wish hilariousness would ensue. Freelance is a witless action comedy of a very stale variety. If you cannot predict every beat of this deeply derivative movie you have either never seen a movie before or you are just not paying attention. There is nothing remotely original or interesting in Freelance. Bad guys try to overthrow the government, Cena ends up protecting not only the journalist but also the dictator he hates. But surprise, the dictator isn't a bad guy. Indeed, it wasn't even him who ordered Cena's helicopter to be shot down 10 years ago. 

You might be thinking that here is where Christian Slater's character comes back but no. Instead, the movie employs Martin Csokas as the bad guy. Csokas is all sneering malevolence and zero fun as the leader of a rival mercenary gang. Freelance has some grand ambition of being about South American resources being stolen by corporate interests via private armies but it lacks conviction on the issue. The filmmakers simultaneously want credit for mentioning corrupt corporations while also defending the idea of private military contractors as being nothing but heroes picking up paychecks that may or may not be covered in the blood of the oppressed. 

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Movie Review Showdown at the Grand

Showdown at the Grand (2023) 

Directed by Orson Oblowitz 

Written by Orson Oblowitz 

Starring Terrence Howard, John Savage, Amanda Righetti, Dolph Lundgren, Piper Curda 

Release Date November 10th, 2023 

Published ? 

An evil developer threatens a beloved old movie palace in the new action thriller, Showdown at the Grand. It's an old trope and it's perfectly fitting for this old school B-Movie. Written and directed by Orson Oblowitz, Showdown at the Grand celebrates classic B-Movies while embodying all of the things we love about classic B-Movies. It's a wonderfully meta-action flick with a big beating heart and deep love for the kind of drive-in classics that made cult heroes of Roger Corman, Russ, and stars like Ken Foree and Shannon Tweed. 

Showdown at the Grand stars Terrence Howard as George Fuller, the solo proprietor of the Warner Grand Theater, a southwestern staple of B-movie presentations. Fuller has grown up at the Grand, inheriting the business from his father who sank the family's entire fortune into rescuing the Grand after George's uncle nearly ran it into the ground. Now, George is facing a reckoning of his own. A wealthy and duplicitous developer named Lynn (Amanda Righetti), is buying up properties around the Grand but she needs the land where the grand stands to complete her development. 

Aiding Lynn in her hostile takeover of the area are a pair of thugs, Reed (Mike Ferguson) and Burton (Jon Sklaroff). Burton, though he is purely malevolent, happens to be a fan of the Grand, matching George movie quote for movie quote during their multiple encounters. That won't stop Burton from trying to kill George and destroy the Grand. Standing alongside George and the Grand are his longtime best friend, Lucky (John Savage) and George's only employee Spike (Piper Curda). 

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Documentary Review Holy Frit

Holy Frit (2023) 

Directed by Justin S. Monroe 

Written by Justin S. Monroe, Ryan M. Fritsche, Gillian Fritsche 

Starring Tim Carey, Narcissus Quagliata 

Release Date November 10th in Los Angeles, California 

Published October 28th, 2023 

"In your gut, how think the window is going to turn out?" the director asks artist Tim Cary. Cary responds "I don't really trust my gut about anything." And that's the arc of Tim Cary in Holy Frit, a man who will have to learn to trust his gut and make gut wrenching decisions about his art, his massive multi-million dollar stained glass piece, and the future of his career and family. None of these decisions has an obvious answer and Tim is going to be forced to trust his choices are right without knowing what the outcome will be, trusting the gut, the instinct, as he's not done before. 

What is Frit? That is probably the first question anyone would ask, based on the title of the documentary, but it's not that special, in and of itself and the answer is passed on to us in passing. Frit is very small pieces of broken glass. Frit is the innovation of an artist named Narcissus Quagliata, a larger than life personality who innovated in the world of glass art in a way that no one had before. I can't tell you exactly how Frit works, but when dusted onto other forms of stained glass, it creates a remarkably colorful design, unlike anything you've seen before. 

The fact that Tim Cary had never worked with Frit before when he pitched his employer, Judson Stained Glass, as the company to create a 4000 square foot stained glass window for a Kansas City Mega church is just one absurd fact about how this massive stained glass work of art came to be. Judson didn't have the technique, the staff, or the space to do a project as massive as a 4000 square foot stained glass window. Oh, and the design that Tim Cary pitched to the church, is the kind of design that, at the moment he pitched it, didn't appear to be possible. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review After Hours

After Hours (1985) 

Directed by Martin Scorsese 

Written by Joseph Minion 

Starring Griffin Dunne, Rosanna Arquette, Teri Garr, Cheech and Chong 

Release Date September 13th, 1985

Published 

The tracking shot that opens Martin Scorsese's black comedy, After Hours, is relatively meaningless. It's just a neat visual way to end up with the camera pointing to our protagonist, Paul Hackett. This is a valid cinematic choice, no criticism there. That said, as a student of opening scenes, I am a little bummed out. In my last exploration of a Scorsese classic, The Age of Innocence, Scorsese's camera opened on flowers under the credits and in the opening moment, a flower given from a performer on stage to another. The flower imagery in The Age of Innocence was the underlying theme of the movie. 

Perhaps, the vacuousness of the tracking shot in After Hours is a reflection of Paul's own vacuousness. Under the credits, we're hearing Mozart's Symphony in D Major No. 45. The symphony has little to do with the story either but it is beautiful and Paul is a handsome guy so, if I am going to read too much into every second of After Hours, perhaps these two surface level observations combined with the meaningless tracking shot crashing on Paul's face, is all to add up to how empty the character of Paul is and how his descent into a world of madness will only underline how Paul prefers being an empty vessel of capitalist exploitation to the alternative of actually living a life, as messy and problematic as that can be. 

As Paul Hackett's (Griffin Dunne) co-worker, played in a brief cameo by Bronson Pinchot, prattles on about how he doesn't plan on doing this job that Paul is teaching him in this scene, Paul is struck by the co-worker's words. He stops listening almost immediately, this man having a plan and goals in life, has Paul searching the world around him for a meaning. As the co-worker goes on about getting into publishing, Paul's eyes fall on everyday office stuff before finally landing briefly on a shot of a birthday calendar, and a picture of a child on a co-worker's desk. The story of a person with a family, a life away from work, is what jars Paul back to reality and the reality that his new co-worker doesn't realize he's hurt Paul's feelings a little, just enough to make him not pay attention before awkwardly excusing himself. 

The deck is beginning to stack. The conversation with Paul's co-worker is underlying a theme that will become clear, Paul doesn't have a life outside of work. He has no family, no girlfriend, he doesn't even seem to have friends, or, at least, he doesn't make it plain that he has anyone he can call on a Friday night. As Paul leaves work, he's just another lonely face in the crowd, so insignificant that the gates closing his office nearly close on him, and he narrowly slips through as men are closing them. All the while, another, more melancholic classical music piece plays on the soundtrack. The giant golden gate doors close, and Paul is made smaller by their massive size in a striking visual. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media

Movie Review Killers of the Flower Moon

Killers of the Flower Moon (2023) 

Directed by Martin Scorsese 

Written by Martin Scorsese, Eric Roth

Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Lily Gladstone, Robert De Niro

Release Date October 20th, 2023

Published October 20th, 2023 

To say that Martin Scorsese is a master of the cinematic form is an understatement. The man has directed epic master works; some of the most iconic works of cinema in last 50 years. He's the Pope of Hollywood, the director that other directors look to for guidance and inspiration. As years pass, Scorsese's mastery of form only seems to grow and gain depth. With age has come patience and maturity that has taken his work from some of the most gut-wrenching and visceral to some of the most thoughtful, elegant, and instructive films ever made. It's an evolution but not a particularly overt one. Scorsese is no longer a Hollywood rebel eager to shake up the world with his cynical vision of urban violence and gritty inter-personal connections. In place of rebellion, Scorsese has embraced his place as one of Hollywood's foremost thinkers, a conscei

For his latest film, Martin Scorsese is not taking it easy but his restraint, patience, and graceful, thoughtful direction is on full display. Taking on the case that provided the foundation of the modern FBI, Scorsese takes us to the heart of Osage Country in Oklahoma. Here, a group of Native Americans happened to strike oil and as the money flowed, the Osage thrived. Then came a group of leeches, con artists and hardened criminals with a taste for both blood and money. As much as racism has a major part to play in what came next, greed is also at the rotting, curdled core of what happened to the Osage people. 

We open on a ceremony. A group of Native Americans are in a tent and delivering exposition in a rather unique way. Via this ceremony, we are drawn into the time period, just after the discovery of oil rich land and just before murderers, thieves, and parasites came looking to rob the Osage people of their newfound wealth. In this ceremony, the elders share a peace pipe that they are laying to rest, it's taught them all it can teach and it is to be symbolically buried. This is at once a warning of the violence that is coming as well as a symbol of the end of the old ways and the birth of a new, unpredictable and reasonably frightening new way of life. 

It's a brilliant opening and it sets the stage for everything that we will see going forward in Killers of the Flower Moon. From there we leap ahead to a train where a man is coming home from the first world war. Ernest (Leonardo DiCaprio), could not possibly have a more appropriate name. With his lack of education and naïve willingness to take things at face value, Ernest is earnestness personified. Ernest has come to the Osage country on the invitation of his Uncle Bill (Robert De Niro, though he know him as King. Ernest's Uncle welcomes him with open arms and immediately sets about manipulating the simple young man in the ways of his con. 

Read my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Kill Room

The Kill Room (2023) 

Directed by Nicol Paone 

Written by Jonathan Jacobson 

Starring Uma Thurman, Maya Hawke, Samuel L. Jackson, Joe Manganiello 

Release Date November 3rd, 2023

Published October 30th, 2023

The Kill Room stars Uma Thurman as a New York City art gallery owner who has fallen very hard times. Thurman's Patrice has fallen behind and the fast paced world of art patronage and is beginning to lose her roster of artists. Desperate for a way to buy back her credibility and place in the hierarchy of the art world, Patrice decides that money laundering doesn't seem like such a bad idea. Having recently been approached by a man named Gordon Davis (Samuel L. Jackson) regarding just such a scheme, Patrice decides to take Gordon up on his offer to pump new cash into the gallery. 

The scheme works like such, Gordon will bring in a painting, Patrice will take the painting, run it through her database, price it and sell it to someone that Gordon is doing business with. Gordon's business involves having a hitman named Reggie (Joe Manganiello) choke out men who are marked for death by local Russian mobsters, something that Patrice is unaware of. She assumes Gordon is a drug dealer and thus doesn't feel bad about taking his dirty money. With Patrice's gallery giving Gordon's money a faux legitimacy, the cover up of payments for murders goes swimmingly. 

Then, Patrice actually gets a painting and things start to take a turn. With Patrice having obviously agreed to sell a painting for the sum of $300,000, her assistant, Leslie (Amy Keum), cannot resist telling the art world about the first time artist whose work is selling for hundreds of thousands of dollars. The artist happens to be Reggie, the murderer for hire, and though his paintings aren't great, he does have a soulful and revealing aspect to his approach to sculpture. To appease the apprehension of the art world, Patrice gives Reggie the moniker 'The Bagman' and tells reporters and patrons that he's incredibly private about his work. 

It turns out that Reggie actually doesn't want to be a killer. He was dragged into the world of so called 'wet work' by an obligation to his drug addict sister. In reality, Reggie is a thoughtful, soulful and sad guy with the soul of a real artist. His art just happens to involve throwing a plastic bag over the heads of bad guys and wrestling them until they stop moving and die. Naturally, Patrice will figure out who she's really dealing with and though you might expect a romance plot to unfold between Reggie and Patrice, The Kill Room sidesteps inter-personal politics by remaining firmly in the world of mocking the trade of art and how easy art patrons can be manipulated by buzz and the notion of scarcity. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Five Nights at Freddy's

Five Nights at Freddy's (2023) 

Directed by Emma Tammi 

Written by Scott Cawthon, Seth Cuddeback, Tyler MacIntyre 

Starring Josh Hutcherson, Elizabeth Lail, Mary Stuart Masterson, Matthew Lillard 

Release Date October 27th, 2023 

Published October 27th, 2023 

Writing about a movie like Five Nights at Freddy's is a thankless task. This is not a movie that gives a critic much to talk about. Movies this witless and needless are more of a tax on your time and energy than anything else. Five Nights at Freddy's is what is called, in industry-speak, an I.P play. That means that it is a well known intellectual property that studio marketers are confident that they can cash in on, regardless of whether the movie is any good. I.P plays are the 'content' that director Martin Scorsese was railing against when everyone accused him of hating Marvel movies. Scorsese doesn't care about Marvel movies, he cares about the result of such movies, I.P plays that take up theater space and waste the critical thinking and mental energy of filmgoers. 

The makers of Five Nights at Freddy's aren't so much make a work of art as they are designing a commercial product intended to sell tickets and shift merchandise. Instead of having a script and a visual design aesthetic, a movie like Five Nights at Freddy's has a spreadsheet that details the market testing that helps set goals for how many tickets sold, how many plush toys, blankets and video games sold, and somewhere on a back page, the money paid to people who've been hired to manufacture the final product movie, itself a product that is intended to be packaged and sold as a digital download, some time in the very near future. 

Five Nights at Freddy's isn't a movie that was written or directed, rather it is crafted by carpenters who hammer the product into something that resembles a movie but is more of an advertisement for selling tickets to what looks like a movie. The real hope is that you will buy a ticket and a t-shirt, a collector cup and a plush. And, of course, the video game which I am sure will shift a few units due to being made relevant again by a marketing campaign. As someone who loves movies and loves writing about movies, a movie like Five Nights at Freddy's is especially dispiriting. There was never any intention to make a good movie here, there was only ever a marketing campaign and merch. 

Hunger Games star Josh Hutcherson, who has apparently squandered his Hunger Games paychecks, how else does he end up here, stars in Five Nights at Freddy's as Mike, a depressed and deeply unlikable character. Mike is depressed for a reason, he feels that it was his fault that his younger brother, Garrett, was kidnapped when they were kids. Since then, Mike has made it his mission to try and recall the man who took his brother. This obsession has cost Mike jobs because either he's sleeping through work or he's angrily attacking people. 

Having been fired from his most recent job as a Mall security guard, Mike is forced to accept the only job made available to him, security guard in a dilapidated restaurant, a former kid friendly pizza place called Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. All Mike has to do is stay awake and watch some monitors, make sure no one breaks in. Why does a restaurant that has not been open in over a decade need a security guard? Who cares, the movie sure doesn't care. So, why should we care, right? It's just another extraneous detail in a movie that doesn't care about details or anything other than just existing and vaguely resembling a horror movie. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Horror in the 90s Nothing But Trouble

Nothing But Trouble (1991) 

Directed by Dan Akroyd 

Written by Dan Akroyd 

Starring Chevy Chase, Demi Moore, Dan Akroyd, John Candy 

Release Date February 15th, 1991 

Box Office $8.4 million dollars 

Why does Dan Akroyd's elderly villain in Nothing But Trouble have the top of a penis for a nose? Why would this be funny? Is it intended to funny? Is it intended to be disturbing? It's certainly confusing. It achieves a high level of confusing. For the life of me, no matter how often I turn this idea over in my mind, I cannot understand the choice of having Akroyd's elderly villain creep have the tip of a penis for a nose. I imagine you reading this and kind of laughing to yourself as the absurdity of the idea of a penis tip for a nose. You're not wrong to laugh, it is absurd and funny but not in the way Dan Akroyd thinks its funny. 

And that is the deeply unfunny heart of 1991's Nothing But Trouble, it's often something you may laugh at but not for the reasons that director Dan Akroyd assumes you will laugh. For Akroyd, the presentation of something is enough to call it a joke. For instance, his penis tip nose or the sight of John Candy in a dress playing his own sister. These visuals are presented to us as if we are supposed to laugh at them, but they aren't actually doing anything funny, either visually or otherwise and thus we are left confused at the choice to show us these things. 

Another thing that writer-director Dan Akroyd thinks is funny but most assuredly is not, is Akroyd's pal, Chevy Chase at his most smug and exhausting. Akroyd has bought into Chase's delusion that just being smug engenders being charming and funny. Chase never says a single funny line in Nothing But Trouble but he's presented by Akroyd as the height of charming. Chase however, is merely arrogant and dismissive of others in a way that might be funny if Chase weren't so dead behind the eyes. Chase is all surface, no substance and his minor barbs lobbed at the villainous characters in Nothing But Trouble, never lands. 

Nothing But Trouble stars Chevy Chase as Chris, a stock expert who has made millions giving stock advice. He lives a fabulous life in a fabulous New York City apartment with fabulous friends that he can barely tolerate. One day, on the way home to a party in his own apartment, Chris meets his new neighbor, Diane (Demi Moore). It's not a meet cute in the traditional sense, it's more of two people sharing the same space that the script requires to be together. To say that Moore and Chase don't share a particular chemistry is an understatement. It appears to take a lot of effort from Moore to be in a scene with Chase, struggling to find a place amid the odor of his massive ego. 

Diane has just lost a big client in Atlantic City and she desperately needs a ride. She asks Chris, who she just met, if she can borrow his car and he insists on driving her himself. A pair of Chris' most obnoxious party guests, played in broad South American caricatures by comedian Taylor Negron and Berlita Demas, overhear Chris and Diane's plan to drive to Atlantic City and insist on going with them. So, on top of the anti-chemistry of Moore and Chase we have a pair of obnoxious stereotypes to overcome. It's as if Akroyd actively wanted us to hate Nothing But Trouble. His dedication to not having actual jokes continues to plague the movie. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Classic Movie Review Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2

Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2 (1987) 

Directed by Bruce Pittmann 

Written by Ron Oliver 

Starring Michael Ironside, Wendy Lyon, Justin Louis 

Release Date October 16th, 1987 

Published October 18th, 2023 

Hollywood is often accused these days of being obsessed with existing I.P or intellectual property. Sequels, remakes, re-imaginings, these are movies that are derived from existing I.P. It's true, Hollywood is obsessed with existing I.P, uncovering old products that can be made new again, it's familiarity wielded as a marketing campaign. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny is an I.P, Marvel movies, Star Wars, the Fast and Furious movies, and any number of horror franchises are existing I.P and Hollywood loves to recycle to save a little money. 

It's tempting to say that this isn't a new practice and it really isn't a new practice. But, things like Disney turning their legendary cartoons into live action movies or even creating a franchise out of something used to be at least a little bit frowned upon. Remakes, re-imaginings and loosely related sequels were once the realm of hucksters and shysters not prestigious movie studios with decades of credibility, awards, and blockbusters. Why, there was once a time when Superman got sold to a couple of con-artists who used Superman 4 as a money laundering scheme, ALLEGEDLY. Could you imagine a studio willingly giving away Superman today? 

The best example of the disreputable nature of I.P plays back in the day came from the horror genre. Hucksters and con artists of all stripes were in the business of capitalizing on I.P and, even if they didn't know it, they laid the groundwork for where we are today with the out of control obsession with I.P plays. Take for instance, Troll 2, often viewed as the best worst movie of all time. That film has nothing whatsoever to do with the modestly successful low budget 80s horror movie, Troll. The producers simply managed to become the owner of the Troll I.P and felt that slapping a number 2 on a movie was a clever marketing gimmick. 

Full length review at Horror.Media

Classic Movie Review Silence of the Lambs

Silence of the Lambs (1991) 

Directed by Jonathan Demme 

Written by Ted Tally 

Starring Jodie Foster, Anthony Hopkins, Scott Glenn 

Release Date February 14th, 1991 

Box Office $272 million dollars 

In many respects, Silence of the Lambs is the most successful horror movie of the 1990s. The film is the second highest grossing horror movie of the decade, behind only David Fincher's Seven, but it also swept the Academy Awards, winning Best Actress for Jodie Foster, Best Actor for Anthony Hopkins and Best Picture among other awards. Oddly enough, it's this remarkable level of success and respectability that causes many to dismiss the idea that Silence of the Lambs is a horror movie. Horror movies are supposed to be shown in drive ins or on late night cable television. Horror Movies do not sweep the Oscars and, in fact, aren't allowed in the hallowed halls of respectable Hollywood. 

And yet, there should be no question that we are watching and adoring a horror movie. Clarice Starling, for all of her respectable traits and awards pedigree, is a terrific example of the Final Girl archetype. Yes, she's dressed up with a terrific actor in Jodie Foster and built with a respect for women that the horror genre typically lacks, but nevertheless, the final moments of Clarice's search for the big bad of Silence of the Lambs casts Clarice as a tremendous example of the Final Girl, the survivor who lives to tell the tale of what happened with the killer. 

A lot of people who claim they don't like horror movies want to knock down the notion that Silence of the Lambs is a horror movie out of their stubborn belief that they don't find such films entertaining. On the other side, there are hardcore horror fans who don't want to accept Silence of the Lambs as a horror movie because it is too respectable, too beloved. It's a horror film for the normies who wouldn't last but a few minutes watching a 'real' horror movie. Silence of the Lambs also lacks in the kinds of transgressive bad taste that is also a hallmark of 'real' horror movies. 

Silence of the Lambs opens on FBI Trainee Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster) running through the woods, alone. It might seem like nothing but there is a heft to this image. A woman running alone through the woods a classic horror movie scenario. Whether you are talking about Friday the 13th or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, when you place a woman in the context of being alone running through the woods, the echoes of horror movies of the past are evoked. I am going to take the image a little further however, and speculate a little bit about something a little esoteric. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

Movie Review Butcher's Crossing

Butcher's Crossing (2023) 

Directed by Gabe Polsky 

Written by Gabe Polsky, Liam Satre Meloy 

Starring Nicolas Cage, Fred Hechinger, Xander Berkley 

Release Date October 20th, 2023 

Published ? 

I think, to be as fair as possible to Butcher's Crossing, this movie isn't for me. Butcher's Crossing is a slow, agonizingly dry piece of historical fiction. It's an interesting story, how a few people managed to savage an entire species to near extinction while nearly getting themselves killed but you have to be willing to go on this rather dreary journey. It does have its temptations, this journey. The main temptation being star Nicholas Cage with a fully shaved dome and a touch of the crazy eyes. Beyond that though, the appeal of Butcher's Crossing is limited to obsessive fans of the history of the American west. 

A naïve and ill-prepared Harvard drop out arrives at a fort in the west in early 1800s. Will Andrews (Fred Hechinger) is a rich kid with a little of dad's money and a desire to see what the American west looks like. He's traveled to this place to meet a man who worked for his father years ago. Will hopes that this man will allow him to join one of his buffalo hunting parties as a sort of hunting tourist. The man turns him down and sends him on his way. Not one for giving up, Will seeks out a man in a saloon with a big reputation. 

Miller (Nicolas Cage) is a well known buffalo hunter with a taste for blood and a gleam in his eye. Miller can see this wimp coming a mile away and he smells the kids money. Miller just happens to harbor a desire to no longer work for the hunting companies in this town, he wants to branch out on his own and all he needs is a bank roll. Miller also claims to know where he can find a seemingly endless supply of Buffalo that could be harvested, skinned and provide more money than any local hunter could possibly dream of. 

Naturally, the dimwitted Harvard drop out is won over by the charismatic hunter. Once they hire a skinner, (Jeremy Bobb), they are on their way to a valley no one but Miller believes exists. After seeming to get lost, they actually find the valley and indeed, they find a herd of buffalo unlike any that's been harvested before. It's large and for some reason, despite Miller picking them off repeatedly with a rifle, most of the herd doesn't try to leave the valley, making them easy to hunt to an almost ludicrous degree. The hunters will harvest more buffalo than they could possible skin and return to their outpost and Miller's mania for killing buffalo will eventually risk all of their lives in the harsh conditions of the Colorado territory. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review Judgment Night

Judgment Night (1993) 

Directed by Stephen Hopkins 

Written by Lewis Colick 

Starring Emilio Estevez, Cuba Gooding Jr., Jeremy Piven, Stephen Dorff, Denis Leary 

Release Date October 15th, 1993

Published October 16th, 2023 

The most interesting aspect of 1993's action flick, Judgment Night is how star Emilio Estevez held the producers over a barrel. Estevez is rumored to have been very low on the list of actors that the producers wanted for the lead role of Frank in Judgment Day. Naturally, they were chasing a big star, Tom Cruise. That didn't work so they went to Christian Slater who also passed on the role. The role was then passed on by John Travolta and Ray Liotta before landing at the feet of Emilio Estevez. The production had a small window to actually shoot and complete the film and with that, the studio offered Estevez the role because he was available and so many others said no. And then Estevez asked for $4 million dollars for the role and he got it. 

That's way more interesting than what happens in this dopey urban action drama which posits a mostly empty downtown Chicago a fully dystopian Chicago that is desperately violent but also a ghost town. Four buddies are traveling to the big city from the suburbs in order to attend a boxing event. Frank (Estevez) is joining his best friend Mike (Cuba Gooding Jr), Frank's brother, John (Stephen Dorff), and their obnoxious, pushy, irritating pal Ray (Jeremy Piven) for the trip to the city. 

Because his personality apparently isn't obnoxious enough, Ray decides to scam his way to borrowing a gigantic motor home to take the four friends to the city for the fight. Unfortunately, the group fails to account for Chicago traffic on a night when there is a giant sporting event and they wind up missing the start of the event while trapped on an expressway. With time slipping away, Ray makes an illegal turn and uses an off-ramp to try and sneak around traffic. The group ends up in the dystopian future set of Chicago, unrecognizable to suburban yokels like themselves. 

As the group bickers about being lost, Ray hits a pedestrian with the motor home. Forced to stop by his friends, Ray frets about going to jail as his buddies tend to the injured pedestrian. To say this pedestrian is having a rough night would be an understatement. Not only was hit just hit by a motor home, he'd been shot in the gut just before the accident. Clutching a bag full of ill-gotten cash, the man begs for help and the friends force Ray to try and find a hospital, despite his desire to abandon the injured man and try to avoid going to jail. 

Mike takes over driving and the group is on the run, choosing to try and chase a police car on its way to call. That's when the motor home is struck by a car and forced off the road. The motor home finally comes to rest trapped between two buildings. The men in the car that hit them turn out to be gangsters led by Fallon (Denis Leary). They break open the back of the motor home to snatch the injured man and they kill him. They then want to kill the witnesses to that killing and set off after our suburban commandos who rush off into those famously empty Chicago streets. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Classic Movie Review The Exorcist

The Exorcist (1973)

Directed by William Friedkin 

Written by William Peter Blatty 

Starring Ellen Burstyn, Max Von Sydow, Lee J. Cobb, Jason Miller 

Release Date December 26th, 1973

Published October 10th, 2023 

The first image you see in William Friedkin's The Exorcist is the sun, bright, orange, dawning a new day. This is followed by an image of a sweltering desert in Northern Iraq. On the soundtrack is Arabic music. What does any of this tell us about the rest of the movie we are about to watch? I would argue, it tell us nothing. The sun doesn't have any meaning related to the rest of the movie. Nor does a sweltering desert. Perhaps if I reach beyond logic, I could argue that the sun and the desert reflect the heat of Hell? Maybe? But that is a very big stretch. 

An archaeological dig is occurring in this northern Iraqi desert. Numerous men swing pickaxes and other implements intended to break rock and remove dirt. Why? We can assume it has something to do with ancient religion, an attempt to uncover something lost to time. Here, William Friedkin lingers over the images of Iraqi men with their tools, the dirt, the heat, is this a representation of what hell is like? What does it mean that Friedkin's stand in for Hell is located in a Muslim country? What does this have to do in any way with a child who later stab herself in the crotch with a crucifix? 

An elderly white archaeologist is called to come to a place where some small items have been found. The old man goes and when he reaches into the cave where these small items have been found, he finds one more, a small idol with what appears to be the face of a dog or a dragon or something. We don't know who this old man is at this point, but we stay with him as he goes to a café and has some tea. He's shaky, he takes pills for what I assume is a heart condition. He appears shaky though whether that is due to having found this idol thing or because he's very old and has been working in the hot sun all day, is unclear. 

The shaky old dude leaves the café. He walks around the corner and sees three blacksmiths hard at work, rhythmically pounding away at a piece of hot metal. One of the men turns to the old man and reveals a cloudy eye. The old man, our seeming protagonist wheezes, and the scene ends. Cut to a ticking clock. The old man mumbles 'Evil against Evil.' Finally, we learn that the old man is a priest as the other man in the room refers to him as 'Father.' The clock on the wall stops and the man says he is sorry to see the old man leave. Father tells the man that he has something he must do. The old man goes back to the archaeological dig site, he locates a statue, one that resembles the small idol he found earlier. A man kicks some rocks, dogs fight, Father stares at the statue, we fade to the sun which ends the scene and takes us to Georgetown, Virginia, USA, the setting for our story. 

Why does William Friedkin's The Exorcist begin with this prologue? What have we learned? Father Merrin (Max Von Sydow) was in Iraq. He found an idol and stared at a statue. The idol and the statue are related. By the rules of storytelling then, this demonic figure that Father Merrin found must be related to the possession of young Regan O'Neill (Linda Blair). There is one, relatively inane visual scene that links Iraq and the idol to Regan and Georgetown. Following the offscreen death of a filmmaker who was directing a movie Regan's mom was working on, a Police Detective (Lee J. Cobb) finds what looks like an idol just like the one Father Merrin found in Iraq. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Movie Review The Exorcist Believer

The Exorcist Believer (2023)

Directed by David Gordon Green 

Written by David Gordon Green, Peter Sattier

Starring Leslie Odom Jr, Ann Dowd, Ellen Burstyn, Jennifer Nettles

Release Date Friday, October 6th 

Published October 9th, 2023 

The Exorcist Believer stars Leslie Odom Jr. as Victor Fielding, a single father and photographer. Victor's wife died in child birth while the couple were traveling in Haiti some 13 years ago. Angela (Lidya Jewett) appears to be a relatively good student, follows the rules, rarely finds trouble. Then, one day after school, Angela doesn't come home. What we know, that Victor doesn't know, is that Angela and her best friend, Katherine (Olivia Marcum) have decided to go into the woods to see if they can contact Angela's late mother. Then, the girls vanished. 

After three agonizing days for Victor and for Katherine's parents, Miranda (Jennifer Nettles) and Tony (Nortbert Leo Butz), the girls are found hiding in a farmhouse not far from their school. The girls believe that they have only been gone for a few hours and they cannot account for three days. Nothing appears to be physically out of sorts with the girls but they are slowly descending into madness. Angela starts convulsing and cursing at her father and Katherine soon after follows suit. 

Both girls soon end up back in the hospital where they had been treated and released in the immediate aftermath of their disappearance. This time however, no one knows what could be wrong with either girl. They have the same symptoms and they present the exact way. Both girls appear to be possessed by demons and Victor, not being religious, has no idea what to do. Luckily, Victor's neighbor is a nurse, and when she sees the state of Angela going to the hospital, she leaps into action. 

Through Ann, we are reintroduced to Kris O'Neil (Ellen Burstyn). Luckily for Victor, she lives in driving distance of his home. In the years since she witnessed the aftermath of her daughter's exorcism, Kris O'Neill dedicated her life to hiding her child from the world. This works for a little while, but when she joins this story, Kris and her daughter haven't spoken in several years. Kris has written more than one book about her daughter's possession. She has unique insight into the rituals and she may be the person who knows how to rescue the children. 

And then, she gets stabbed in both eyes and is out of the movie. Honestly, it's as if Ellen Burstyn were simply padding her retirement years with the biggest paycheck she can get her hands on. A woman of her age and dignity should not have to waste her time playing a character who exists solely for name value and nebulous familiar references to things from previous versions of The Exorcist franchise. It would be pathetic if it were not for how dignified Burstyn is, even as she's rushing out of the door of the movie as soon as she can. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media

The Return of I Hate Critics

The Everyone's a Critic Podcast is going back in time. Back to the time we were known as I Hate Critics. Yes, we are bringing back our original name. Why? Because it just feels right. We want to refresh the brand and with our new additions, Jeff, Amy, and M.J all working to freshen up what Bob and Sean have been doing for more than a decade now, it feels right to revisit the origins of the podcast. We began the show based on the idea of film fans, Bob and Josh, getting the chance to question, quarrel and converse with a person who had earned the title of professional film critic. 

We began the I Hate Critics Podcast based on the premise that I got into film criticism out of a genuine love for writing about movies and the belief that I would be cool if I was a film critic. I was never cool growing up, I thought that having a cool job would make me cool by association. I was wrong. What I experienced in earning my professional title and membership in the then Broadcast Film Critics Association, now the Critics Choice Association, was proudly telling people I met that I was a film critic and being met with more hostility and derisiveness than I was fully prepared for. 

"I never agree with critics." "I don't listen to the critics." Or "Critics hate everything." These are the statements that met me every time I introduced myself and was asked about my chosen profession. I genuinely thought I was going to be cool if I told people I was a film critic. Instead, I found most people eager to tell me I was wrong and that they hated the critics. Thus, I Hate Critics was born. It's a chance for film fans to confront a film critic and force him to defend his position. However, it evolved quickly as Bob, Josh, and myself became close friends. It became less about challenging me as a critic and more about sharing a mutual love of movies. 

That was at the heart of changing the name to Everyone's a Critic. We wanted to create a community that was safe for all opinions. We wanted to be inclusive and that was great for a long time. We enjoyed a place of positivity and inclusion. Lately however, the tide has turned and once again, film criticism is in the crosshairs. Film Critics have been trying to defend the profession against the encroachment of so called 'influencer culture.' There is a tide of opinion that rages against Critics and is forcing critics to defend their positions. That's a good thing in many ways, critics should be challenged. 

Find my full length article at Geeks.Media